The 2014 Ridiculous Basketball Player Names Bracket, Sweet Sixteen
March 19th, 2014
The results are in from the second round, and so it’s Sweet 16 time!
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THE “WHAT THE HELL?” REGIONAL
(1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims v (5) Solomon HorseChief:
Vote wisely. Vote HorseChief.
Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims or Solomon HorseChief?
(3) Typhoon Dusk Nurse v (7) Ruben Boumtje Boumtje:
Should Nurse lose points on account of his decision to mostly go by “Ty Nurse”, instead of the full glory that is his name? And with that in mind, does Ruben earn points for embracing the double boom?
Typhoon Dusk Nurse or Ruben Boumtje Boumtje?
THE “SURNAMES THAT HAD NO CHANCE AT LIFE” REGIONAL
(1) Steeve Ho You Fat v (5) Lior Lipshits:
Ho You Fat seems unassaible here……
Steeve Ho You Fat or Lior Lipshits?
(6) Moran Shitrit v (10) Stanley Titsworth:
…..and if someone is going to upset Steeve in this regional, it might have to be the upstart Titsworth, who I underseeded on account of other’s stark insistence that it wasn’t funny, despite knowing full well that it was.
Moran Shitrit or Stanley Titsworth?
THE “BRILLIANT FIRST NAME CHOICES” REGIONAL
(1) Justin-in’Love Smith v (12) Semen Antonov:
Big battle here between Love and Semen, a choice no one should ever have to face.
Justin-in’Love Smith or Semen Antonov?
(3) Spongy Benjamin v (10) Scientific Mapp:
Confession time – Mapp nearly didn’t make the bracket at all. Consider it a lesson learned.
Spongy Benjamin or Scientific Mapp?
THE “COMPOUNDING THE PROBLEM” REGIONAL
(1) Gang Wang v (5) Chubby Cox:
Again, a choice no one should ever have to face.
Gang Wang or Chubby Cox?
(3) Karolina Puss v (2) Ebenezer Noonoo:
If you were at any point wondering what Noonoo has gotten up to in his professional life since the collegiate playing days from whence his name was sourced, the answer is, a fair bit.
Karolina Puss or Ebenezer Noonoo?
I am continuously intrigued by the esoterica and minutiae of all the aspects of building a basketball team. I want to understand how to build the best basketball teams possible. No, I don’t know why, either.
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