The 2003 NBA All-Star Game was an embarrassment. If you watched it, you cucked Michael Jordan. You are guilty by association. By watching it, I too cucked Michael Jordan. And I didn’t enjoy it one bit. The whole event was a prolonged Michael Jordan love-in. As it was to be Jordan’s last ever All-Star game, in his final season before his third and only retirement, we were treated to the sight of his balls being polished mercilessly by everyone in the game, around the game, and Mariah Carey. Everything Michael did throughout history – excluding the previous 18 months of course – was to be glorified and indulged one more time to such a lavish and excessive degree that, if any of us had forgotten how scarily good and frighteningly popular he was, we would never do so again. They had documentaries, they had interviews, they had montages, they had songs, they had a dress represented two of his uniforms on….they had everything. And, you know, fine. He’s the legend and it’s his final year, for real this time. Unfortunately, there was a slight problem. Jordan wasn’t voted in as a starter by the fans. And it’s hard to be the most important player on the floor when five other people get there first. Never mind, though. Into the confusion stepped Allen Iverson. Voted in as one of the starting guards ahead of Jordan, Iverson magnanimously volunteered to give up his starting spot for Jordan, so that he may start the game and take the first 40 shots or so. Tracy McGrady, one of the starting forwards, made an identical gesture a few days later, once again showing sympathy-inducing deference to an older man’s inferior play. However, the other starting guard, Vince Carter, did not make the same offer, even […]
