Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 56
March 16th, 2009

Robert Whaley barely played in the D-League last year, averaging 4.0 points and 2.7 rebounds per game for the L.A. D-Fenders, and he has not signed anywhere this season. He also barely played in 2006/07, spending his time between the ABA, the Dominican Republic and Iran. Nevertheless, Whaley still received a full year of NBA salary back in the 2005/06 season, in spite of his relative failings in the professional game. He’s about to turn 27, he’s not yet played to a D-League standard, he’s got a lengthy criminal history, he lied to the police to his name to the Jazz about the cut in his hand, and he’s not even the most famous person with that name. But he made it briefly, and he got paid.


Davin White is signed in Serbia with Swisslion Takovo Lions Vrsac. White averages 4.8 points, 3.3 fouls and 2.0 assists in the Balkan league, but no word on whether his finger nails are still really, really pink.


Jahidi White has not played since an unsuccessful training camp bid with the Cavaliers in 2006. Since then, his only news-making appearance was in a non-speaking role on a sci-fi channel show called Showdown at Area 51. He played an alien.


Rodney White started the year with Maccabi Tel-Aviv, fell out of favour after one game and got waived. Not one to be kept down, R-White signed in China with the Zhejiang Guangsha Lions, and he leads the country in scoring. Considering how easy it is to score in China if you’re American and/or able to jump off the floor, this is no mean feat. White averages 1.1 blocks, 2.4 steals, 5.1 assists, 8.3 rebounds and 36.4 points per game. (See what I did there?) In his last game, White played all 48 minutes and put up 62 points, 11 rebounds and 7 assists. If you want to know why American players like playing in the Chinese league…..well, the answer is staring you in the face.


Chris Whitney is long since out of the game, which is a shame, because he was a straight baller.


Jason Williams requested a reinstatement from his retirement last month, but it was vetoed by several teams (any reinstatement needs to be unanimous, and I think six teams rejected it). The fact that he’s seemingly not injured at all would suggest that perhaps he retired like he did because he regretted signing with the Clippers in the first place. It’s something to consider, Baron.


Aaron Williams’s one-year waiving anniversary is due soon. Nothing has really happened since then, though.


Alvin Williams is also unsigned, and since two years have passed since he last played, it’s about time he tried another comeback. Especially since he just lost his Raptors all-time assists record to Jose Calderon.


Eric Williams, the former journeyman forward, is retired. Eric Williams, the former Wake Forest centre, averages 9.9 points and 5.1 rebounds for Air Avellino in the EuroLeague. Eric Williams, the former Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago, is dead.


Frank Williams, the former Knicks point guard, is in the D-League, where he averages 17.2 points and 3.5 assists per game. Those 17.3 points per game, though, come on an inefficient 36% shooting, and this is because Frank Williams attempts two three-pointers for every one two-pointer. This man, who used to have a bad jump shot, is now pretty much a three-point specialist. He’s not a special three-point specialist, as evidenced by the 37% success rate from back there, but it’s all he does now, and he averages nearly eight long range attempts per game. Fair enough.


– Finally, Jay Williams is now a pundit for ESPN’s college basketball coverage, where he gets to hear first hand quite how brilliant Hubert Davis’s vowel sounds and over-enthused fake laugh are.


Also, because this entry kind of sucked a bit since everyone in it is retired, I’m calling it early: Javaris Crittenton, Brendan Haywood and Mike James to Dallas in exchange for Jerry Stackhouse and Matt Carroll. Done only on the condition that Dallas can’t find a better use for Stackhouse’s salary, which they may well do. Washington later pawns off Stewie Griffin to some sap to help dodge the tax, and Dallas gets a decent centre for a year and a further 2010 saving. This prediction is largely baseless but well intentioned. If it doesn’t happen, then neither did this post.

Posted by at 8:27 PM