Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 39
February 26th, 2009

Smush Parker started the season in the D-League, averaging 17.3 points, 4.5 rebounds, 7.5 assists and an almighty 5.1 turnovers per game for the Rio Grande Valley Vipers. He then went off to China, where he may have become literally the only American import whose numbers went down in the CBA. Parker averages 13.3 points, 4.9 rebounds, 4.0 assists and 3.2 steals for Guangdong, numbers that are pretty unimpressive in relative terms. Luckily for Smush, I don’t know his Chinese turnover numbers.


– I don’t know what Cherokee Parks does now, but his sister Corey is no longer the bass player for seminal hard rock band Nashville Pussy, and hasn’t been for about eight years. Another really useful update for you here. Be grateful.


Marlon Parmer spent some time earlier this season playing backup point guard for the Colorado 14ers, averaging 8.0 points and 3.6 assists, but was waived in January and has not signed elsewhere since.


Ruben Patterson hasn’t had a great couple of years. After a career year with the Bucks in the final year of his big contract, all Ruben could manage for the 2007/08 season was an unguaranteed minimum salary contract with the Clippers. He was then waived before the contract guarantee date, and didn’t catch on with a playoff team. Patterson then joined the Nuggets for preseason this year, but never really had a legitimate shot at making the team, as the cost-cutting Nuggets didn’t really want any of their five signings (despite having two open roster spots) because it would mean spending money to keep them. Patterson was subsequently waived, and hasn’t signed elsewhere since, after a rumoured move to Spain didn’t come off. Will he catch on with a playoff team for this deadline? Who knows. The Celtics, amongst others, could use him. But they won’t have roster space once the deal for Stephon Marbury goes down, and for all of Marbury’s faults, he’s not the registered sex offender that Patterson is. You can’t fault a team if they find that to be a severe detriment to signing him. So I’d guess that Ruben goes unsigned, again, and forever.


Andre Patterson averaged 4.2 points and 2.7 rebounds in ten games for the Reno Bighorns, got waived, then joined up with the Anaheim Arsenal, where he currently averages 2.1 points and 2.8 rebounds in 11 games. In those combined 21 games, he has 74 points, 58 rebounds and 47 fouls.


Rickey Paulding is with EWE Baskets Oldenburg, a German basketball team that also fosters elderly sheep. Paulding averages 14.1 points and 5.0 rebounds in the EuroChallenge for Oldenburg, who are still going strong in the competition, as well as 15.2 points and 4.5 rebounds in German league play. He leads the team in scoring in both competitions. I lied about the sheep.


Gary Payton is now appearing on NBA TV, where I am informed that he is cringeworthy. However, I’ve never seen him, and thus should not pass judgement. Not that this usually stops me.


Anthony Peeler last played in December 2005 for Akasvayu Girona in Spain. He is now an assistant coach for Virginia Union University. Did you know that Anthony Peeler collects hats? Me neither, until just now. This is the kind of vital information that I’m committed to bringing you.


Nikola Pekovic, Timberwolves draft pick this past summer, is with Panathinaikos in Greece. Pecker is averaging 12.1 points and 3.7 rebounds in 17.5 minutes a game in the EuroLeague, alongside 11.5 points and 3.3 rebounds in 15.4 minutes per game in the Greek league. Great scoring rate, particularly for a 6’11 player, but work a bit harder on the boards, sir. I read somewhere sometime that the Timberwolves plan on bringing in Pekovic in the summer of 2010, which in theory gives them a nice young big rotation of Pekovic, Al Jefferson and Kevin Love. But God knows how that’s going to work out on defence.


Ben Pepper – who never left Oceania, apart from a very brief stint in the ABA at the turn of the century – is currently unsigned, and was for the whole of the past NBL (Australian league) season. I’m assuming he’s retired, but can’t find any proof of this.


– Finally, Kosta Perovic is averaging 11.2 points and 5.0 rebounds in 19.5 minutes per game for Valeniva in the EuroCup. That’s quite good, and a hell of a lot more than Perovic showed with the Warriors last year.

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