And the winner is…..
April 8th, 2014
Steeve Ho You Fat! Yay Steeve! Thank you all for playing. There will indeed be another competition: 84 names are already being parsed for the 64 spots available, and should more be found, an NIT may even be possible. Well, unless it’s overkill. And now back to basketball operations matters.
The 2014 Ridiculous Basketball Player Names Bracket, CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
April 6th, 2014
[Previously: First round, second round, sweet sixteen, second round, elite eight, final four.] This is it, the final showdown. After a long, fiercely competitive, hit-count friendly month of titanic struggle and mesmering battle, we have eliminated 62 competitors in the first annual Ridiculous Basketball Player Names competition, and are down to the final pair. So established already are their names in basketball player folklore that it is beyond tricky to think of a single fresh and funny thing to say about them. And thus we need only provide their stories so far. (1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims First round: Won 359-40 v (16) Indiana Faithfull Second round: Won 125-39 v (8) God’sgift Achiuwa Sweet Sixteen: Won 85-37 v (5) Solomon HorseChief Elite Eight: Won 40-34 v (3) Typhoon Dusk Nurse Final Four: Won 38-24 v (1) Gang Wang (1) Steeve Ho You Fat First round: Won 289-51 v (16) Jose Antonio Alcoholado Second round: Won 121-32 v (8) Gregor Fucka Sweet Sixteen: Won 83-22 v (5) Lior Lipshits Elite Eight: Won 50-20 v (10) Stanley Titsworth Final Four: Won 39-28 v (10) Scientific Mapp We have made no effort to reach out to either player, and thus neither has any comment. Vote now. You have until the end of the actual national championship game. Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims or Steeve Ho You Fat?
The 2014 Ridiculous Basketball Player Names Bracket, Final Four
April 3rd, 2014
[Previously: First round, second round, sweet sixteen, second round, elite eight.] 60 down, four to go. (Click here for full size version) As always, these names are completely genuine. If you don’t believe it, Google it. (1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims v (1) Gang Wang Journeys so far: (1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims First round: Won 359-40 v (16) Indiana Faithfull Second round: Won 125-39 v (8) God’sgift Achiuwa Sweet Sixteen: Won 85-37 v (5) Solomon HorseChief Elite Eight: Won 40-34 v (3) Typhoon Dusk Nurse The previously unassailable Chief finally hit trouble in the form of Nurse. He won anyway, but the pre-tournament favourite is fallible. (1) Gang Wang First round: Won 237-59 v (16) Storm Clonch Second round: Won 104-41 v (8) Hunter Dick Sweet Sixteen: Won 59-39 v (5) Chubby Cox Elite Eight: Won 38-31 v (2) Ebenezer Noonoo Odd thing is, it’s not that uncommon of a name. Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims or Gang Wang? (1) Steeve Ho You Fat v (10) Scientific Mapp Journeys so far: (1) Steeve Ho You Fat First round: Won 289-51 v (16) Jose Antonio Alcoholado Second round: Won 121-32 v (8) Gregor Fucka Sweet Sixteen: Won 83-22 v (5) Lior Lipshits Elite Eight: Won 50-20 v (10) Stanley Titsworth Doubts as to the legitimacy of Steeve’s name continue to come in, despite him being a professional player in France for many years. Maybe this assuages it some. (10) Scientific Mapp First round: Won 178-134 v (7) God Shammgod Second round: Won 107-37 v (2) B.J. Banjo Sweet Sixteen: Won 65-35 v (3) Spongy Benjamin Elite Eight: Won 55-17 v (1) Just-in-Love Smith As the bracket’s creator, I take some pride in having had three number one seeds make the final four. That shows, I hope, a reasonable level of perception as to what […]
The 2014 Ridiculous Basketball Player Names Bracket, Elite Eight
March 31st, 2014
[Previously: First round, second round, sweet sixteen.] Due to an administrative error whereby I accidentally set the Sweet Sixteen polls to run for a week longer than they were supposed to, the 2014 Ridiculous Basketball Player Names Tournament is still going on, having lost all its previous momentum. Nevertheless, we are down to the Elite Eight. Here are the matchups! (Click here for full size version) As always, these names are completely genuine. If you don’t believe it, Google it. THE “WHAT THE HELL?” REGIONAL (1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims v (3) Typhoon Dusk Nurse Journeys so far: (1) Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims First round: Won 359-40 v (16) Indiana Faithfull Second round: Won 125-39 v (8) God’sgift Achiuwa Sweet Sixteen: Won 85-37 v (5) Solomon HorseChief The Chief has not even flinched in his run to the Elite Eight thus far, not even batting an eyelid in the expected-classic Chief v HorseChief Sweet Sixteen matchup he ultimately won comfortably. This is a shame for Solomon HorseChief fans everywhere, including myself, and frankly I’m starting to wish I had fixed it. (3) Typhoon Dusk Nurse First round: Won 257-83 v (14) Drake U’u Second round: Won 118-33 v (6) D’Awvalo Turnipseed Sweet Sixteen: Won 77-39 v (7) Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje Boumtje-Boumtje was something of a people’s favourite, yet he was no match for TDN, one of three remaining non-US competitors. Grienntys Chief Kickingstallionsims or Typhoon Dusk Nurse? THE “SURNAMES THAT HAD NO CHANCE AT LIFE” REGIONAL (1) Steeve Ho You Fat v (10) Stanley Titsworth Journeys so far: (1) Steeve Ho You Fat First round: Won 289-51 v (16) Jose Antonio Alcoholado Second round: Won 121-32 v (8) Gregor Fucka Sweet Sixteen: Won 83-22 v (5) Lior Lipshits Ho You Fat is this bracket’s equivalent of Florida. Indisputably a number one, and performing […]
