“That Guy We Drafted,” 1995
June 7th, 2009

– 1st pick: Smilin’ Joe Smith (Golden State) – Joe Smith still has lots to give. He has more good play left in him, lots of love in his heart, and endless toothy smiles that can change the dynamic of an entire room. I like Joe Smith, even if he did allegedly once bottle a gay stripper in a nightclub. You should too. (That is to say, “You should like Joe Smith”. Not “You should bottle a gay stripper in a nightclub”. By the way, Smith was acquitted on all charges.) – 2nd pick: Antonio McDyess (L.A. Clippers) – McDyess had a decent resurgent season with the Pistons this season, his solid and consistent play often showing up the remainder of their frontcourt, which featured the underwhelming youth of Amir Johnson and Jason Maxiell, the remnants of Rasheed Wallace, and however you’d like to tactfully describe Kwame Brown. He also managed to annoy a lot of Celtics fans, which was a bonus. McDyess still has a year or two left, if he wants it. – 3rd pick: Jerry Stackhouse (Philadelphia) – Stackhouse is done, and has been for about three years, even if Dallas didn’t realise it. Nevertheless, you’ll hear about him again, because Stack has that rarest of prized tags next to his name – he has a partially guaranteed contract for next year. And you’d better believe that executives around the league are lining up, ready to do things they’re not proud of just to get a hold of that bad boy. Therefore, sooner or later, Stackhouse is being traded and waived. You heard it here second. (By the way, on the subject of unguaranteed contracts, do you think Memphis regret buying out Antoine Walker partway through last season? Antoine had what would have been a fully unguaranteed […]

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