A History Of Cheesy, Terrible And Sometimes Quite Good Commercials Featuring NBA Players
February 3rd, 2010

There follows a long list of cheesy and/or television commercials featuring NBA players. Some of which are quite good.

Less talk, more cheesy commercials.

1) Tyler Hansbrough

2) Kevin Willis

3) Vince Carter

4) Doug Christie, Alvin Williams and Reggie Slater.

5) Chris Andersen

6) Chauncey B-B-B-B-B-B-Billups.

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7) Dikembe Mutombo

8) Dikembe Mutombo again

9) Vince Carter again

10) Bob Lanier

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11) David Robinson and Gary Payton

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12) Patrick Chewing

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13) David Lee

14) Keith Van Horn

15) Shaquille O’Neal, Stu Scott and Mike Breen

16) The Spurs and Knicks teams from what looks like 2000 or 2001

17) Magic Johnson

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18) A mute Larry Bird selling Chardon jeans

19) Tyler Hansbrough, again, finding puppies

20) The 1980something Celtics

21) Yet more Larry Bird fail

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22) Even more tremendous fail by Larry Bird

23) I haven’t finished laughing at Larry Bird yet

24) Patrick Ewing, Michael Jordan and Chris Mullin

25) One of many Michael Jordan ones

26) Bill Walton

27) The 1999-2000 Golden State Warriors, advertising……themselves.

28) Larry Johnson, obviously

29) Gheorghe Muresan

30) Kenny Anderson

31) Scottie Pippen

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32) Tayshaun Prince

(Is it just me, or does he say “I can do that because I’m a pro; Wallside can do that because they’re defective”? Doesn’t sound like a glowing endorsement.)

33) Richard Hamilton

34) Ben Gordon making a better effort of it than Rip did

35) Chris Andersen again

36) Darryl Dawkins

37) Jalen Rose and Kenyon Martin

38) Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, and Michael Jordan’s shirt

39) More Bob Lanier, mad enough to dunk

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40) Greg Oden

41) LeBron James

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42) Shaquille O’Neal

43) Julian Wright and Morris Peterson

44) Hedo Turkoglu

45) Predrag Drobnjak (wasn’t a real commercial, but we’ll run with it)

46) Predrag Drobnjak, again, with a little bit of Jerome James thrown in

47) Predrag Drobnjak, again, again

48) Vladmanovic, from the same vein as the Drobnjak ones

49) Dikembe Mutombo back when he was ever so slightly decipherable

50) Juwan Howard, Scottie Pippen and Grant Hill (who must have demanded to be paid by the word)

51) David Robinson and Tim Duncan

52) Pau Gasol

53) Scottie Pippen (bonus points to anybody who can decipher the first line)

54) Vin Baker

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55) Dan Majerle headlines a lot of guys talking about hustle

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56) Michael Jordan…..turning around.

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57) Larry Bird and Grant Hill

58) Karl Malone hunting for little American chickens, with a slightly hilarious voiceover artist as his backup

59) Carmelo Anthony

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60) Several guys, but mainly let’s just laugh at Larry Bird, this time as he raps badly and oscillates irritatingly

61) Christian Laettner and Rick Pitino

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62) Emeka Okafor

63) More Gheorghe Muresan

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64) And more (Muresan ones are not particularly cheesy, but they are fun)

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65) Brent Barry

66) Brent Barry, Tim Duncan and Bruce Bowen

67) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili

68) Brent Barry, Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili again. Yes, we’re doing the whole H.E.B range.

69) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili

70) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili

71) Tim Duncan

72) Brent Barry, Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili

73) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili

74) Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker for a change

75) Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker

76) Brent Barry, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili

(No more of those five now, I promise)

77) Brian Butch

78) Latrell Sprewell

79) Grant Hill and Jerome Williams

80) Bob Knight, Mike Shasheffski, Rick Pitino and Roy Williams

81) John Stockton

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82) Magic Johnson hitting a note he’ll never hit again

83) Rip Hamilton again

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84) Audible Chocolate, Jay Bilas

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85) Marko Jaric with a good looking woman that is not his own

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86) Jared Dudley and Sam Vincent

87) Steve Francis

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88) Adam Morrison talking about how he’s going to make people cry in the NBA

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89) Joakim Noah, Derrick Rose, Tyrus Thomas, Aaron Gray, Kirk Hinrich, Lou Wolding and Stacey King (it’s a fake advert, but I’d totally buy this)

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90) Dirk Nowitzki throwing a self alley-oop which is in some way supposed to make German kids stop snorting coke

91) Martell Webster

92) Lamar Odom with a very strange cameo in a Fashion TV advert

93) Robert Horry

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94) Julius Irving

95) A few commercials based around the allegation that Muggsy Bogues is kind of small, one of which has an inexplicably tenuous link to the mighty Hyundai Accent:

96) Wilt Chamberlain advertising the raw throbbing power of the gutsy Volkswagen Rabbit

97) LaMarcus Aldridge

98) Jason Williams

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99) Another fake commercial, this time featuring Pat Burke, Steve Nash, James Jones, Alvin Gentry and Leandro Barbosa:

And finally, the most terrible commercial of all time to have ever featured an NBA player…..

100) Scottie Pippen being creepy as all hell.

Posted by at 3:17 AM

6 Comments about A History Of Cheesy, Terrible And Sometimes Quite Good Commercials Featuring NBA Players

  1. Sham3 February, 2010, 9:42 pm

    I lied just now. The best part is 10 seconds through the Stockton one. I had no idea he was capable of that. Good times.

  2. Holden5 February, 2010, 9:42 am

    HAHA good post!! Living in Michigan I have seen the Pistons ones about a million times, when I saw you had the wallside windows ad up I was going to comment about the Rahmani eye dr ads but you got them too! There is one Reggie Miller ad that I cant remember what the cause was but Reggie proves that he can read lines off a cue card really well..

  3. superninja16 February, 2010, 11:52 pm

    Did you seriously just embed 100 youtube videos into on one page?….

  4. Sham17 February, 2010, 10:19 am


  5. Anonymous11 March, 2010, 5:19 am

    Tayshaun Prince says "The Factory", not "defective".

  6. Sham11 March, 2010, 6:14 am

    Well, that makes more sense I suppose.