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Wednesday, February 03, 2010

A History Of Cheesy And/Or Terrible Commercials Featuring NBA Players

There follows a long list of cheesy and/or television commercials featuring NBA players.

Less talk, more cheesy commercials.


1) Tyler Hansbrough

2) Kevin Willis 3) Vince Carter 4) Doug Christie, Alvin Williams and Reggie Slater. 5) Chris Andersen 6) Chauncey B-B-B-B-B-B-Billups. 7) Dikembe Mutombo 8) Dikembe Mutombo again 9) Vince Carter again 10) Bob Lanier 11) David Robinson and Gary Payton 12) Patrick Chewing 13) David Lee 14) Keith Van Horn 15) Shaquille O'Neal, Stu Scott and Mike Breen 16) The Spurs and Knicks teams from what looks like 2000 or 2001 17) Magic Johnson 18) A mute Larry Bird selling Chardon jeans 19) Tyler Hansbrough, again, finding puppies 20) The 1980something Celtics 21) Yet more Larry Bird fail 22) Even more tremendous fail by Larry Bird 23) I haven't finished laughing at Larry Bird yet 24) Patrick Ewing, Michael Jordan and Chris Mullin 25) One of many Michael Jordan ones 26) Bill Walton 27) The 1999-2000 Golden State Warriors, advertising......themselves. 28) Larry Johnson, obviously 29) Gheorghe Muresan 30) Kenny Anderson 31) Scottie Pippen 32) Tayshaun Prince (Is it just me, or does he say "I can do that because I'm a pro; Wallside can do that because they're defective"? Doesn't sound like a glowing endorsement.) 33) Richard Hamilton 34) Ben Gordon making a better effort of it than Rip did 35) Chris Andersen again 36) Darryl Dawkins 37) Jalen Rose and Kenyon Martin 38) Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, and Michael Jordan's shirt 39) More Bob Lanier, mad enough to dunk 40) Greg Oden 41) LeBron James 42) Shaquille O'Neal 43) Julian Wright and Morris Peterson 44) Hedo Turkoglu 45) Predrag Drobnjak (wasn't a real commercial, but we'll run with it) 46) Predrag Drobnjak, again, with a little bit of Jerome James thrown in 47) Predrag Drobnjak, again, again 48) Vladmanovic, from the same vein as the Drobnjak ones 49) Dikembe Mutombo back when he was ever so slightly decipherable 50) Juwan Howard, Scottie Pippen and Grant Hill (who must have demanded to be paid by the word) 51) David Robinson and Tim Duncan 52) Pau Gasol 53) Scottie Pippen (bonus points to anybody who can decipher the first line) 54) Vin Baker 55) Dan Majerle headlines a lot of white guys talking about hustle 56) Michael Jordan.....turning around. 57) Larry Bird and Grant Hill 58) Karl Malone hunting for little American chickens, with a slightly hilarious voiceover artist as his backup 59) Carmelo Anthony 60) Several guys, but mainly let's just laugh at Larry Bird, this time as he raps badly and oscillates irritatingly 61) Christian Laettner and restaurant buggerer Rick Pitino 62) Emeka Okafor 63) More Gheorghe Muresan 64) And more (Muresan ones are not particularly cheesy, but they are fun) 65) Brent Barry 66) Brent Barry, Tim Duncan and Bruce Bowen 67) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili 68) Brent Barry, Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili again. Yes, we're doing the whole H.E.B range. 69) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili 70) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili 71) Tim Duncan 72) Brent Barry, Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili 73) Tim Duncan, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili 74) Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker for a change 75) Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker 76) Brent Barry, Bruce Bowen and Manu Ginobili (No more of those five now, I promise) 77) Brian Butch 78) Latrell Sprewell 79) Grant Hill and Jerome Williams 80) Bob Knight, Mike Shasheffski, Rick Pitino and Roy Williams 81) John Stockton 82) Magic Johnson hitting a note he'll never hit again 83) Rip Hamilton again 84) Audible Chocolate, Jay Bilas 85) Marko Jaric with a good looking woman that is not his own 86) Jared Dudley and Sam Vincent 87) Steve Francis 88) Adam Morrison talking about how he's going to make people cry in the NBA 89) Joakim Noah, Derrick Rose, Tyrus Thomas, Aaron Gray, Kirk Hinrich, Lou Wolding and Stacey King (it's a fake advert, but I'd totally buy this) 90) Dirk Nowitzki throwing a self alley-oop which is in some way supposed to make German kids stop snorting coke 91) Martell Webster 92) Lamar Odom with a very strange cameo in a Fashion TV advert 93) Robert Horry 94) Julius Irving 95) A few commercials based around the allegation that Muggsy Bogues is kind of small, one of which has an inexplicably tenous link to the mighty Hyundai Accent: 96) Wilt Chamberlain advertising the raw throbbing power of the gutsy Volkswagen Rabbit 97) LaMarcus Aldridge 98) Jason Williams 99) Another fake commercial, this time featuring Pat Burke, Steve Nash, James Jones, Alvin Gentry and Leandro Barbosa: And finally, the most terrible commercial of all time to have ever featured an NBA player..... 100) Scottie Pippen being creepy as all hell.

7 comments:

  1. I lied just now. The best part is 10 seconds through the Stockton one. I had no idea he was capable of that. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHA good post!! Living in Michigan I have seen the Pistons ones about a million times, when I saw you had the wallside windows ad up I was going to comment about the Rahmani eye dr ads but you got them too! There is one Reggie Miller ad that I cant remember what the cause was but Reggie proves that he can read lines off a cue card really well..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replace the duplicate Spurs one with this bad boy from former Wisconsin big man Brian Butch:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN4_7HOcwHA&feature=player_embedded

    ReplyDelete
  4. Did you seriously just embed 100 youtube videos into on one page?....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tayshaun Prince says "The Factory", not "defective".

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, that makes more sense I suppose.

    ReplyDelete

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