Unfunny and unoriginal people will tell you that Anderson Varejao looks like every other white or mixed race person with big frizzy hair. This is because they are unfunny and unoriginal. However, I too am unfunny and unoriginal, so here it is: Anderson Varejao manages to look like Joakim Noah, Sideshow Bob, Carlito the wrestler, Justin Guarini from American Idol and Robin Lopez all at the same time! FUNNY! MAYBE!
Varejao is one of the game's leading charge takers, in part due to a tendency to flop, but also due to fine help defense instincts and timing that also make him a good shotblocker. His man to man defense is not as good as his help defense, but it's still good, and his tenacity and work rate frustrate his opponents and mask his own slight lack of strength. His work rate also translates to a decent rebounding rate, albeit with too many fouls as well. On offense, Varejao thinks he's far better than he is, taking mid-range jumpshots and circus layins unbefitting of a garbage points scorer. But despite it's inadequacy, Varejao's jumpshot is slowly improving, as is his inside touch, athough both remain a bit temperamental.
Anderson Varejao's main problem is with his sense of self-worth. Seemingly unaware that his strengths are born out of his workethic and hustle - a permanent by-product of which is his foul rate, one which makes him incapable of being a 35mpg player in this league - Anderson Varejao thinks he's a starter and wants to be paid accordingly. This led to an embarassing and unproductive holdout in the summer and autumn of 2007, one which saw Varejao miss the start of the season and be out of shape for the rest of it. In the end, Varejao received a full MLE deal for three years, still far below what he was demanding. I'm not sure of how successful he thought this ploy would be, but the answer to whether it was or not would be....not very.
- 22nd February, 2009.
Anagram: "Jean overran soda;" international crisis as French barman overfills soft drink recepticle.
Agent: Dan Fegan (Blue Entertainment Sports Television)
Note: As you can probably tell,
some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they
are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced.
Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced
from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because
I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For
argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.
In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the
player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace
- a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will
have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle
their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.)
Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents.
Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially
like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple
choice" and "game" elements.
Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander
here. Just very bad jokes.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2009. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
