Adrian Griffin is what announcers tend to call "controlled". When he's got the ball, the game is more controlled, more methodical, and nothing is hurried. Plays take their time to transpire, and everything assumes a more sedate pace.
But this isn't because Griffin is "controlled" at all. It's because he is really, really slow. Indeed, Griffin isn't as controlled as people would like to think - he remains partial to the occasional delusion of grandeur and thinks he can hit 20 foot fallaways. He might not be quite as heady of a player as they make out, you know.
Griffin rebounds very well for his size and position, and plays the passing lanes well to pick up steals. He can hit open jumpshots out to about 19 feet if you give him time to set up, and he can make his massive eyes protrude so much that they are technically entirely outside of his body. What he can't do, however, is much of anything else. He can't create, his man to man defense is not good due to him having no ideal matchups, and he misses every fourth quarter free throw that he ever takes.
Griffin is burdened with the height of a rather small shooting guard, with the footspeed of a notoriously lazy sloth. In fact, if you look closely enough, you will see that Griffin actually has a thin green coating on his skin - this is algae and moss that has had time to grow on his skin due to his slow nature. Maybe.
Fun and true Griffin fact - he came 3rd in the Rookie of the Year voting in 2000, in what remains his best season to date. From there, it's slowly gone a bit wrong.
Or maybe it's not "slowly," after all. Maybe it's all just "controlled."
- 6th April, 2009.
Anagram: "A draining riff." Like the one in Stairway To Heaven.
Note: As you can probably tell,
some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they
are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced.
Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced
from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because
I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For
argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.
In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the
player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace
- a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will
have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle
their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.)
Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents.
Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially
like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple
choice" and "game" elements.
Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander
here. Just very bad jokes.
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