"Every player in our league is underpaid. When Kevin Garnett was making $28 million, he was underpaid." - Sam Cassell


 
 


 
Kris Humphries
New Jersey Nets - Acquired via trade in January 2010
       Nicknames: "Hump" or "Big Sexy"   NBA Experience: 6 years

    
Number: 43
    
Position: PF
    
Height: 6'9
    
Weight: 235
    
Hand: Right
    

Date of birth:
02/06/1985
    

Country:
USA
    

Drafted (NBA):
14th pick, 2004
    

Out of:
Minnesota
    


   Stats (NBA)
    
 

    
Anagram: "Hump hire risks," newspaper headline predicting dire outcome for recent Humphries trade.
    

Agent: Dan Fegan (Blue Entertainment Sports Television)

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Note: As you can probably tell, some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced. Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.

In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace - a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.) Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents. Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple choice" and "game" elements.

Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander here. Just very bad jokes.


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