Reggie Evans can only do two things (I mean on a basketball court, not in life in general). He can rebound the ball, and he can piss you off for the evening.
A bit short, but very strong, Evans's only aim on the basketball court is to rebound the ball. And he's really, really good at that. Never involved in the offense due to a gaping dearth of skill, Evans uses all the tricks in the book to get position, and then his immense strength to keep it. He'll tug your shirt, pull your arm, squeeze Chris Kaman's testicles, and just generally work harder than you to get the rebound. As a result, he has a fantastic career rebounding rate, and once averaged as-near-as-is double figure rebounds in only 24 minutes per game for Seattle.
But Evans can't score. And he can't block shots. And he's not the grandfather of ball movement (ball grabbing, though, is another matter). His defense is physical, but not especially skilled. So you need to know what you're getting with Reggie Evans - a two trick pony. A two trick pony who is very, very good at those two tricks.
Reggie Evans fact: once, on a golfing trip, Reggie saw something that, in his own words, was "well scary". He rushed home and quickly engaged in his relaxation technique of watching Katie Holmes films. To this day, he has never spoken about what he saw.
- 22nd October, 2008.
Anagram: "Reggae veins"
Agent: Dan Fegan/Byron Irvin (Blue Entertainment Sports Television)
Note: As you can probably tell,
some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they
are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced.
Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced
from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because
I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For
argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.
In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the
player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace
- a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will
have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle
their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.)
Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents.
Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially
like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple
choice" and "game" elements.
Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander
here. Just very bad jokes.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2010. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
