You know, those eyebrows really aren't level. Maybe it's just the photograph. Or maybe he's hitting on the photographer. Anyway, I'm just saying. Let's do this.
Matt Carroll is a decent offensive player, whose best attribute is his jumpshot. He even leads a summer camp for kids in the art of shooting with his inferior brother Pat, So that's exciting.
Carroll can penetrate a bit, finish, play a decent mid range game, and be all fairly athletic and shit. (OK, bit generous with that last one.) He is also a decent rebounder, and has good size from the perimeter positions. Carroll's not much good on the defensive end, though, and he isn't a particularly good playmaker or ball handler. Just a scorer, mainly. But he majored in marketing at Notre Dame, which would annoy Bill Hicks if he wasn't dead, so Carroll gets points back for that.
Matt Carroll fact: He has never, ever owned a 1986 Toyota Camry, and anyone who says that he has is a vicious slandering bastard.
- 23rd October, 2008.
Anagram: "Tractor Mall", for all your tractor purchasing needs.
Agent: Dan Fegan (Blue Entertainment Sports Television)
Note: As you can probably tell,
some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they
are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced.
Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced
from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because
I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For
argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.
In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the
player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace
- a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will
have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle
their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.)
Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents.
Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially
like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple
choice" and "game" elements.
Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander
here. Just very bad jokes.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2010. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
