He has spin moves, dribble drives, and post-up ability.
He has handles and passing skills that belie his height.
He has fantastic awareness on both ends - when was the last time you saw Tim Duncan goaltend?
He has a right handed hook shot, a left handed hookshot, and a face-up jumpshot that you can't block.
He has a history of foot tendonitis, a flawed free throw technique, and a slight problem with people that call fouls on him.
He has multiple championship rings, a young family, and the respect of everybody to have ever played or spectated the game of NBA basketball.
He also has the sentence inflection of Stephen Hawking, the body of a grandfather, and a voice like a bag of spanners.
But he also has a legitimate claim to being the best power forward of all time. And I think he prioritises that over any potential future physical comedy career. Perhaps rightly so.
Tim Duncan is great and no one will ever tell you otherwise.
- 4th April, 2009.
Anagram: "Mind a c***". I'm not clever for using that word, by the way.
Note: As you can probably tell,
some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they
are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced.
Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced
from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because
I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For
argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.
In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the
player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace
- a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will
have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle
their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.)
Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents.
Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially
like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple
choice" and "game" elements.
Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander
here. Just very bad jokes.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2010. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
