A walking turnover and the king of garbage time, Tony Allen is not afraid to gun, in more ways than one. I worked long and hard on that joke, so be sure to laugh at it.
A far worse shooter than he thinks it is, Allen is a great athlete, strong and with good leaping ability, and a good defensive player, particularly with his man to man defense, with offense that borders on atrocious at times, and useful at others. There's a few too many comma's in that sentence, so give it as many readthroughs as it needs. Is 'readthroughs' a word? Whatever.
This is all changed, of course, once the game is all but over. At that point, Allen seems to play a lot better. This can be annoying, but it can also lead to the funny sight of him posing and trash talking when his team is down by 20. And that never gets old.
Tony Allen has learned how to dribble better over the years, which has bettered his game. It means that he can now use his athleticism to his advantage, and get to the rim in situations other than fastbreaks. He still functions best as a defensive role player, given his sloppy passing, poor decision making and skew-wiff jumpshot, but his improved handle allows him to occasionally throw himself wildly at the rim, like a persistent Bassett hound at a biscuit caught under an armchair. This canine attribute gives him a use on offense, where he's otherwise kind of lacking.
- 12th February, 2009.
Anagram: "Lonely Ant", a potentially million-selling Disney film.
Note: As you can probably tell,
some of the nicknames were made up. Many are genuine, though, and they
are only made up in the instances where a real one couldn't be traced.
Many given nicknames are of common usage, but some are also sourced
from lesser known sources - these sources are not often cited, not because
I hate the people involved, but because there's too many to do so. For
argument's sake, just assume that the unfunny ones are mine.
In the event where more than one agent is listed, this is because the
player has more than one agent. Simple, really. This is rather commonplace
- a lot of times, a player will sign with a big agency, and they will
have both primary and secondary agents from within that agency to handle
their affairs. (Where that happens, the primary agent is listed first.)
Also, foreign players tend to have both American and domestic agents.
Where the details of such are known, they are listed. It's essentially
like a fun multiple choice game, except without the "fun", "multiple
choice" and "game" elements.
Additionally - don't sue. We're only having a laugh. There's no slander
here. Just very bad jokes.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2009. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
