Summer signings, round 1

Some former NBA players have moved from a non-NBA team to a non-NBA team. So have some former peripheral players who never quite cracked the NBA league. If news of this interests you, dear viewer, then read on.


Jerome Moiso has moved from DKV Joventut - a very good European team based Spain - to Khimki, an almost as good European team based in Russia. For all of his NBA failings, Jerome Moiso is regarded as hot shit on this Earth's finest continent.

Marc Jackson, who was released from Greek powerhouse Olympiakos part way through last season to be replaced by Qyntel Woods, has signed with Unics Kazan, also of Russia. The fact that Jackson chose to sign before the NBA free agency period began, and that he also didn't choose to go the summer league route, would indicate that Jackson either has no interest in playing in the NBA any more, or that he no longer finds it a viable option any more.

"Spider" Charles Smith has spent the last two seasons with powerhouse Real Madrid in Spain, but this week has left them to sign with Efes Pilsen in Turkey. There's a delicatessen in my nearest town called Efes Pilsen. Fun fact.

Speaking of Turkey, former Memphis Grizzlies guard Tarence Kinsey has obtained a Turkish passport due to residency (more on this concept in a future blog post), and he will now play for the Turkish national team. Similarly, former Raptors guard Omar Cook recently obtained Montenegran citizenship (it's a country), and will play for their national team too. It's news worth knowing brought to you by the site worth visiting.

Denver draft pick Axel Hervelle has re-signed with Real Madrid for three more years. So he's probably never coming over.

The Toronto Raptors and forward Jorge Garbajosa mutually agreed to terminate the final year of his contract, and Garbajosa has already agreed a deal with Tau Vitoria back in his native Spain. A post about the virtues of Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo may or may not be forthcoming, depending on my effort level. Oh, and as mentioned previously, Grizzlies guard Juan Carlos Navarro also went back to Spain, signing with his former team Barcelona for the next one hundred million years. Never should have left, Juan.

Former Knicks - for about a week - forward Otis George remains in the second tier of Italian basketball, signing with newly promoted Venezia.

Rick Rickert has re-signed with the New Zealand Breakers, who play in Australia. I'm still awaiting answers on why this is. Rickert is probably through with the NBA - or is that the other way around? - but there remains a slim chance that one day he can be reunited with Kevin Garnett, who can then punch him in the face again. As they say, "anything's possible!!!!!!". That joke was shit but I'm still happy I made it.

NBA journeyman Amal McCaskill has signed in the Phillipines, with a team named the Magnolia Beveragemasters. The standard of basketball might be shit over there, but the money's good, and the team names are faaaaaaaaantastic!

Milos Vujanic, the one time future of the New York Knicks, is joining Charles Smith above at Efes Pilsen, where together they will make the finest continental salads that you ever did sample.

Zoran Erceg - undrafted last season - has signed with Olympiakos of Greece, who you will know of if you have any worldly sense/saw the top of this post.

Where Are They Now? Part 31

Still don't know what's wrong.

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Don Reid hasn't played since leaving Detroit, and while there was rumours of them re-signing him not so long ago, they amounted to nothing.

Jared Reiner is playing for Bamburg in Germany, where he averages roughly 11 points and 8 rebounds.

J.R. Reynolds went undrafted and wound up playing for Vanoli Soresina, a rather poor Italian team. Reynolds averages 17.9 points, 3 and a bit rebounds, and 3 and a bit assists.

Darius Rice is a member of the "Purefoods Tender Juicy Giants" in the Phillipines, which is the greatest name for a sports team ever.

Anthony Richardson started the season for Ludwigsburg in Germany, but left for reasons that I am not sure of. Also playing for Ludwisburg - Vincent Yarborough. Awesome.

Norm "N" Richardson is fantastic, and I tracked his career like an avid fan should. After falling out of the NBA, N went to the D-League with the now-defunct North Charleston Lowgators, where he played out of position for the greater good of the team (professional!) and made Karim Shabazz look better than he was. N then went to France, where he won some kind of cup, and then announced his retirement "to pursue business interests" during the celebrations. It must have gone south, because 4 months later, N unretired and signed in Venezuela. Since then, he's been around the block, got a training camp invite one time with the Toronto Raptors, and continues to try and prove the world how brilliant he really is. This season, Norm was playing for Poloni ain Poland alongside Paul Miller, where he averaged 15.5 points, 5 rebounds and 3.5 assists, demonstrating the all-around game that made him world famous.

Rick Rickert was a member of the New Zealand Breakers this season, a team which is confusingly in Australia and not New Zealand. (No, really, it is. At the very least, it's a New Zealandish team who play in the Australian league. Answers on a postcard.) Rickert missed most of the year with a back injury, and averaged 17.8 points a game in the brief time that he did play. His team mate was former Heat guard Kirk Penney, who averaged 24 points a game. So that's nice.

Filiberto Rivera - or, if you'd prefer, Philip Rivers - is back in hs native Puerto Rico, averaging 11.6 points and 6 assists a game for a team called Baloncesto. His teammates include Bimbo Carmona, and Angela Reyes, that guy who everything thought the Bucks had signed, but they hadn't. (Darius Rice, mentioned above, played 6 games for Baloncesto, averaging 19.2 points and 6.7 rebounds a game. Carmona averages 19.4 ppg and 6.3 rpg.)

Anthony Roberson is playing for Beykozspor in Turkey, and the usual comment about Turkish statistics applies here. (I.E. there are none.)

Lawrence Roberts signed for Olympiakos in Greece for two years back in the summertime, but left before playing a game. I used to know why, but I forgot.

Bernard Robinson was waived by New Orleans immediately after being acquired on the day before opening day, and has not played since season. He may or may not be injured.


BONUS OLUMIDE OYDEJI NEWS: Olumide signed today for Granada in Spain as a replacement for Michael Bradley, who was let go due to being shit. Good times. Well, not for Michael Bradley.

Where Are They Now? Part 30

Apologies for the site disappearing for 48 hours. Truth be told, I have no idea what happened. I went to bed, and it was working. I got up, and it wasn't. Turns out the hosting company kinda broke something on their end, but all is well now.

Also, you may have found that the home page consisted of nothing more than the word "hello" for a few hours. That wasn't me who did that, but the nameless technician mending it. It freaked the shit out of me when I saw it. But never mind, all is now good and that. Call off the search.

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Mark Pope - Legend - always said that he was going to go to medical school once his NBA career had finished, so I guess he's done exactly that.

Vitaly Potapenko fell out of the NBA in the summer of 2007, and wound up in Europe, where he averages a mere 5.3 points and 2.5 rebounds for Estudiantes in Spain, alongside Florent Pietrus, wife of Mickael.

Roger Powell is playing for Teramo in Italy, where he averages 13 points and about half an assist per game.

Carlos Powell was signed by the Warriors for training camp this season, but was an early cut. They may have made a mistake here, though. The Warriors ended up prefering to own such players as Austin Croshere, Troy Hudson and Chris Webber over Powell, all of whom did pretty much nothing for the team. Meanwhile, Powell went to the D-League, played for the Dakota Wizards, and absolutely beasted, averaging 22.5 points, 6.4 rebounds and 4.8 assists per game, on 49% shooting, 40% from three point range. That's some pretty epic numbers right there. The 4 turnovers a game that go with all that are a lot, but if he was perfect he wouldn't be in the D-League. I'd kind of expect a training camp invite after a season like that, and a greatly improved chance of sticking around this time.

Giorgos Printezis, whose rights are owned by the Raptors, is playing for Olympiakos in Greece, alongside the many other players already mentioned as playing there. These include Lynn Greer, Arvydas Macijauskas, Qyntel Woods , Jake Tsakalidis, Sofoklis Schortsanitis, Reinaldas Seibutis and Loukas Mavrokefalidis. Based on that list, I apparently have to rattle off this list 4 more times yet. Ah well. Printezis averages about 9 points and 4.5 rebounds.

Cult hero Laron Profit averaged 11 points and 4 rebounds for Libertad, the Argentinian champions.

Ivan Radenovic is playing for Akasvayu Girona in Spain, where he averages 4.5 points and 2 rebounds. I watched an interview with him the other day, and it turns out that he speaks good English. So that's nice. Somewhat unsurprising given that he went to Arizona, but I didn't know that at the time, hence why it surprised me. Shame about his play, though.

Milovan Rakovic, whose rights are owned by the Magic, plays for Spartak Moscow, alongside Rafael Araujo and Joe Smith. (Not THE Joe Smith, obviously.) As with all Russian teams, I haveth no stats.

Pedro Juan Branches has gone back to Puerto Rico to star. He averages 19.2 points and 10.4 rebounds for a team called Caguas.

Allan Ray spent the season with Lomattica Roma in Italy, where he got paid handsomely for a 13 points 2 assist average. His teammate was Gregor Fucka. I've said it before, and I'll say it as often as I feel like it. Gregor Fucka Gregor Fucka Gregor Fucka Gregor Fucka. Gregor Fucka. Allan Ray. Gregor Fucka.

You, like I, may have thought that Zeljko Rebraca retired. He sure as hell spent a long time out with a chronic back complaint, and the Clippers ate some guaranteed money to get his roster spot. Bit apparently things weren't all that bleak, as the now-35 year old Zelly just poured in a part-season for Valencia (Spain) in which he totalled 8 points in three games. Clearly back to his best there. The lesson, as always - inactive lists can be deceiving.

Justin Reed is a member of the Bakersfield Jam of the D-League, where he averages an impressive 20.3 points, 7.1 rebounds and 3.7 assists a game. Not bad from a hustle player.

Where Are They Now? Part 29

Gary Payton says he's done. I hope he's right.

Anthony Peeler played briefly in Spain after his NBA career ended, but that was three years ago now.

Ben Pepper is in his native Australia, playing for the Townsville Crocodiles. I am not sure that he's ever left Australia in the 9 years since he was drafted.

Wesley Person is D-U-N done.

Brent Petway is playing for the Idaho Stampede of the D-League, where he averages 7.2 points, 3.8 rebounds, and 1.5 blocks a game.

Tim Pickett averages a whopping 21.2 points and 5.1 rebounds for a not partciularly good Italian team called Aget Imola.

Kevinn Pinkney is playing for Angelica Biella in Italy. If you've been paying really close attention and have a fantastic memory, you will remember that others plays for that team include Keith Langford, Brandon Hunter and B.J. Elder. So, something for everybody there. Pinkney averages roughly 13 points and 7 rebounds a game, while he also remains unable to spell his own name.

J.R. Pinnock averages just less than 15 points and 4 fouls a game (not a typo) for Kolossus in Greece, alongside Curtis Stinson, also known as "50 Cent".

Kevin Pittsnogle is playing for the Albuquerque Thudnerbirds of the D-League, for whom he averages 15.7 points and 6.2 rebounds. But, more importantly, this is what Kevin Pittsnogle wore to his own wedding. This is the kind of information that you need to know. It also bears mentioning that someone out there is now know as Mrs Pittsnogle.

Zoran Planinic is in his second year playing for Tau Vitoria in Spain. He averages 10.1 points, 3.2 rebounds and 3.0 assists a game.

Pavel Podkolzin, who you could flatteringly describe as "a mis-step", is back in Russia playing alongside Lee Nailon for Lokomotiv Novosybirsk. I have no dull stats here, so just assume he's still crap.

Olden Polynice seems to have finally accepted that retirement is the best move for his 44 year old arse.

Where Are They Now? Part 28

Greg Ostertag is still retired, and recently got spotted at a Kansas Jayhawks game. This isn't relevant to anything.

Bo Outlaw was waived by the Magic right at the start of the regular season, as a necessary concurrent part of the surprisingly successful Maurice Evans trade. (Maurice Evans! Starter on a playoff team! Glue guy! Good shooter! Who knew! Exclamation!). Since then, Bo has been hired to work in the Magic's community relations department, which is probably a precursor to a more official retirement.

Sticking with the theme of "Crappy Unskilled Magic Big Men", Olumide Oyedeji averaged 18.0 points and 15.2 rebounds for the Liaoning Panpan Hunters in China, the country's second best team. However, for the sake of reference, let it be known that Soumalia Samake averaged 18.2 and 15.2 rebounds. So the competition looks pretty bad.

Also, here's some bonus Olumide Oyedeji information - one of the obscure satellite TV channels over here is called "BEN". I think it is supposed to be a rip-off of the more famous "BET". Either way, all this channel seems to air is home video footage of black people arguing loudly while a TV blares in the background. (BEN seems like the kind of broadcasting ably suited for the role of "TV background noise", so maybe that's why.) At least once a month, they have a show called "Basketball", which does what it promises. A few years ago, this segment used to feature ABA games, which helped hone my knowledge of such basketball pioneers as Ace Custis, Willie (not Wilson) Chandler, and Darryl Dawkins's wardrobe. In recent times, though, they have taken to showing the same game over and over again - Nigeria versus Egypt, from 2004. This game is amusing to watch, which is probably why they air it so much. All of the action is brought to us from the same one camera angle, in a completely empty gym, filled with a strage haze. It's kind of like watching summer league. The Nigerians play the game like it's netball for the entire game, while the Egptians repeatedly use about 5 seconds of each shot clock before getting a brick in the air. The calibre of the basketball on offer is enough to make Hemingway weep. And in this game are Olumide Oyedeji, and Gabe Muoneke.

I know you're jealous.


Robert Pack's last professional basketball gig was for Zalgiris in Lithuania three years ago, when he was kicked off of the team for this punch.

Scott Padgett ended last season with Granada in Spain, but did not play this year. I don't know why.

Milt Fellatio Palacio has spent the season with Partizan Belgrade, where he just won the Euroleague MVP for March. If you can believe that. (Euroleague is the highest calibre of European play, for those unaware.)

Adam Parada is playing for Red Bull Barako in the Phillipines. This is him in action only two days ago. (Parada is number 55, in red. The big fella.) WARNING - Video contains excitable Phillipino girls screaming really loudly for no reason. ANOTHER WARNING - Parada doesn't really do anything in the video except sit down.

Cherokee Parks has been out of basketball for ages and is now little more than a waste of bandwidth and a pain in thine arse. Also, here is a Cherokee Parks video worth watching.

Marlon Parmer signed just today for Al Rayyan in Qatar. A few days ago, I spent the best part of an hour researching whether Marlon Parmer is left handed or right handed, in order to update his profile that no one will ever look at. I finally found the answer after finding a Youtube video of his first practice with the Estonian team that he played for last season. I can't believe how fucking long I wasted on that. But, for those interested, the answer is, he's left handed.

Ruben Patterson surprisingly did not get signed for the playoffs, and remains unemployed.

Andre Patterson also did not get signed for the playoffs, but that was less of a surprise. Patterson is a member of the Dakota Wizards of the D-League, where he totalled 12 points and 10 rebounds in 2 games.

Rickey Paulding is playing for Oldenburg in Germany, where he averages a team high 13.1 points per game.

Where Are They Now? Part 27

Lamond Murray won't quit, and has recently signed up to play for the Los Angeles Lightning in the International Basketball league. Uniquely, they begin their season tomorrow.

Mamadou N'Diaye is playing for Zalgiris in Lithuania, where he averages 11.4 points points per game, 6.6 rebounds, and a damn fine 92% from the free throw line.

Boniface Ndong averages 9.1 points and 5.1 rebounds a game for Unicaja Malaga in Spain.

Lee Nailon is playing for Lokomotiv Novosybirsk in Russia, where he is known as "Li Neylon". (Really.) Neylon averages 22.1 points and 8.3 rebounds per game, which is quite a lot.

Matt Nelson is in France playing for Toulouges. I don't know what he averages, because their is "en construction". Which is French for "under construction".

Spencer Nelson averaged less than 6 points and 4 rebounds for Upim Bologna in Italy, before getting injured.

Brad Newley is playing for Panionios in Greece. I watched him play the other day (I do not know why Panionios versus Panathinaikos was on British television), and suffice to say, Newley's layups were a bit of an adventure. One of those bad adventures you hear about on the news. However, Newley is shooting 65% from two point range this season, so maybe it was just a blip. (Lonny Baxter beasted in this game, by the way. And the attendance was, literally, nil.) Newley averages 11 points and 1 assist.

Jared Newson played this season for the Cairns Taipans in the Australian league, alongside that Nathan Jawai fella that everyone likes. Newson averaged 13.4 points and 5.5 rebounds.

David Noel is currently having a trial with Barcelona, or at least that's what I concluded from this Babelfish translation:

"American eaves David Noel will be gotten up to the training of the DKV Joventut, where it will remain on approval during next the two weeks. The new champion of Glass ULEB has frees a seat of extracommunitarian after Lonny Baxter will let the equipment to average season to file by the Greek Panionios and the club decided not to replace to him immediately."

Moochie Norris spent this season in the CBA, playing for the Yakima Sun Kings. He earned All-CBA First Team honours after averaging 11.7 points, 5.4 rebounds and 8.9 assists a game.

Lukasz Obrzut hardly plays for the Bakersfield Jam of the D-League. He averages only 2.1 points and 2.3 rebounds.

Michael Olowokandi has not played this season. Can you keep a good man down? No. Can you keep Michael Olowokandi down? Yes.

Where Are They Now? Part 26

Aaron Miles plays for Cajasol Sevilla in Spain, where he averages 9.3 points and 3.6 assists a game.

Oliver Miller played in the ABA briefly last year, for a team called the Arkansas RiverCatz (the Z makes it appeal to kids!), but hasn't played anywhere this year. And at age 38, he probably won't do it again, either.

Reggie Miller is these days a piss poor announcer, who contemplated whether to sign with the Boston Celtics this summer, before seemingly deciding not to disgrace his legacy by doing so. And why would he, when he could disgrace himself from the sidelines instead.

Paul Miller is playing for Polonia in Poland, averaging 11.6 points and 6.7 rebounds, all the while playing alongside a guy so fantastic that when we get to the letter R, he'll get his own dissertation.

Ricky Minard averages 14.1 points and 3.1 rebounds, alongside another who-the-hell, Kiwame Garris.

Albert Miralles remains in Spain, doing his Edwin Starr impressions for Pamesa Valencia. Miralles averages 6.5 points and 3.4 rebounds.

Jerome Moiso just won the ULEB cup with Barcelona, putting up a record 4 blocked shots in the final. (4 blocks is the record? Weird.)

Sergei Monia plays for Dynamo Moscow in London (just checking), alongside the long list of players mentioned in the Yaroslav Korolev entry. Monia (or Monya) averages 8.2 points and 3.8 rebounds.

Patch Morlende barely plays for Gravelines-Dunkerque in France, and simply has not panned out.

Terence Morris has wound up with Maccabi Tel-Aviv in Israel, whch is not bad going for a player of his calibre. Even better, Morris averages 10.6 points and 7.8 rebounds, which wasn't nearly as shit as I was expecting. So well done him.

Toree Morris is playing in the Portuguese league, which isn't a common occurence. Morris averages 6.4 points and 6.3 rebounds.

Gabe Muoneke spent most of the year with Tau Ceramica in Spain, but after learning that they wouldn't extend his contract, he left last month. Muoneke averaged only 5.2 points and 3.1 rebounds. Also on the Tau roster are ex-NBA'ers Igor Rakocevic and Pete Mickeal, both of whom look far better there than here. (And by "here", I mean "the NBA". Not "England".)

Where Are They Now? Part 25

Cornelius "Scooter" McFadgon continues to he one of the highest scorers named McFadgon in the D-League, averaging 16.1 points for the Bakersfield Jam.

Ivan The Terrible is playing for Kolejliler Ankara in Turkey, and as I've described before, Turkish league stats are an adventure. So work them out yourself.

Jeff McInnis was waived by Charlotte during the season and has not caught on elsewhere.

Keith McLeod is in the news this week, after giving Lonnt Baxter a shout-out. The article says that Keith is unemployed, but he did briefly play in Italy this season, playing 4 games for Siena, where he averaged 4 points. Must have pissed him off, that.

Slava Medvedenko has not played since his short stint with the Atlanta Hawks last season. The Hawks decided that they could probably do better than that, and in the season after dumping Slava, they made the playoffs. Just firing it out there.

Antonio 'Blessed Are The' Meeking is Luis Flores's teammate in the Italian second division, for Indesit Fabriano. You may remember that I made a crap washing machine joke at this juncture once when discussing Flores. Or maybe you don't remember that. Probably best not to. Meeking averages 11 points and 5.5 rebounds a game, and for the record Flores averages 22 points and 3 assists.

Sammy Mejia is averaging 11.5 points and 4.9 rebounds for Capo D'Orlando in Italy, where he plays alongside someone by the rather fabulous name of Oscar Gugliotta. And there's you thinking that the basketball world had only one Gugliotta.

Rich Melzer is playing for the Art Dragons of Quakenbrueck in Germany. (Do dragons quack? And if so, does it echo?) You may remember this as being where Adam Chubb plays. Melzer has played only one game for the team, scoring 11 points in 16 minutes, while Chubb averages a team high 14.2 points to go along with a pretty shocking 4.8 rebounds. He's also shot more free throws than field goals, which must be hard to do.

Pops Mensah-Bonsu is a part of the stacked Benetton Treviso lineup in italy, where he averages 9.3 points and 8.8 rebounds. He is also shooting 59% from the floor, and who wouldn't with Reece Gaines serving up high percentage looks all game?

Ron Mercer retired due to injury a while ago, and hasn't made the news for a while.

Scott Merritt is playing for the Tulsa 66ers og the D-League, where he averages 7.0 points and 3.6 rebounds.

Where Are They Now? Part 24

Darrick Martin was waived by Toronto last month, and subsequently got a new gig with them as a "basketball development consultant". Whatever that is.

Torrell Martin is playing for Slask in Poland, a team that you've heard of by now if you've read all of these entries. Also playing for Slask are Five Trillion Deng Gai's, Dawan Robinson and The Ho-Man. Martin averages exactly 11 points and almost exactly 6 rebounds a game.

Jamal Mashburn, as well you know, is firmly done. He now works for ESPN, doing some studio work and articles and stuff. Basically he's got my job. Bastard.

Chester CHET! Mason is playing for Zlatorog Lasko in Slovenia, and if you hadn't heard of them before then you're a disgrace. Mason averages 9.7 points, 4.9 rebounds and 4.1 assists, with an efficiency rating of 11. I would give efficiency ratings for all players listed here, but I have windows that need looking out of.

Tony Massenburg stunned the world this October when he signed with the Washignton Wizards for training camp. You'd have thought that Massenburg had had the perfect retirement, since leaving the Spurs with a championship ring two seasons earlier. But, no, apparently Tony couldn't keep away. The Wizards didn't keep him, but Massenburg still carried on, signing in Puerto Rico for a team named Captains of Arecibo as a replacement for Marcus Fizer. Massenburg is no longer there, but that's not the point. The point is, why is Tony Massenburg still trying to get back into the NBA? Is he flat broke? Is he too proud to quit? Is he inspired by Kevin Willis? Is he trying to get single ownership of the "most teams played for" crown, a record he currently co-owns with Chucky Brown (12)? If it's the latter, then he may as well not bother, because Bobby Jones will own that record by this time next year. But still, good luck to him.

Bryant Matthews, a dirty dirty sex pest, is out of prison. He went to play for a team called "Ponce" in Puerto Rico, where he didn't make a field goal in two games. If you want to know why Bryant Matthews is a dirty sex pest worthy of bilious hate, here's a brief synopsis of the story: in a hotel in Australia, Matthews's friend was having sex with his girlfriend, when Matthews walked in, sat on the bed, and stuck his hand in her snatch. His defense was that he "thought it was cool with her". I have so many questions as to why he would think or do this. Nevertheless, it evidently wasn't 'cool' with her. She complained, Bryant got terminated fromh is contract, and eventually criminal charges led to a maximum 18 month jail term, where he served 9. Boooooo! What a fucktard.

Loukas Mavrokefalidis is playing for Olympiakos in Greece, alongside everyone mentioned in the Aryvdas Macijauskas entry. Mavro averages an astonishing 3 points and 1.5 rebounds, ish.

Walter McCarty has retired and is an assistant coach for the University of Louisville.

Amal McCaskill-less was an All-Star in the CBA this year, before he left the Albany Patroons and signed in the powerhouse United Arab Emirates league, for a team called An Nasr. The teams in the UAE league are named Al Shabab, Al Wasl, An Nasr, Al Ahli, Sharjah, Al Wahda and Ash Shaab, all of which sound like believable NYC taxi drivers names. Except for Sharjah. That's a race horse.

The Real Jelani McCoy has been signed and waived a lot by Denver this year, but is now out of the NBA and back in the D-League playing for the L.A. D-Fenders. McCoy averages 11.2 points, 7.8 rebounds and 2.1 blocks per game for them, along with 69% shooting from the field and 51% shooting from the free throw line. No, those are not the wrong way around.

Chris McCray is playing for Oostende in Belgium, alongside the timelessly named Titus Ivory. McCray averages a rather shitty 7.2 points per game.

Where Are They Now? Part 23

Felipe Lopez is seemingly back in the Dominican Republic, although I'm not sure if he's playing any more. Other than second base for the Nationals, obviously. (Ho ho ho. That was so funny.)

Erazem Lorbek is playing for Lomattica Roma in Italy, where his teammates include Allan Ray, Roko Ukic, Gregor Fucka (again, just wanted to type it), and former emo Mavs guard Jon Stefansson. Erazem erases 'em all, averaging nearly 14 points and 6 rebounds. That pun was so crap that Charley Rosen should have written it.

John Lucas III was signed by Benetton Treviso (also of Italy) back in January, but I don't know if he's still there. I don't think he is. He averaged 7 points and 1 assist in his time there.

Kevin Lyde is back with the Dakota Wizards of the D-League, where he averages 12.3 points, 7.8 rebounds, 2.0 assists and 1.9 blocks a game.

George Lynch is missing, presumed alive.

Arvydas Macijauskas went back to Europe, to people more suited to his personality and abilities (i.e. other Europeans). Playing for Olympiakos in Greece, Macijauskas averages 13.8 points and 3.2 assists, on a powerhouse of NBA has-beens (Qyntel Woods, Lynn Greer, Jake Tsakalidis) and NBA never-will-bes (Giorgos Printezis, Loukas Mavrokefalidis, Reinaldas Seibutis, Sofoklis Schortsanitis). This entry took more spell-checking than the rest combined. I wish Marc Jackson was still there. I can spell that name, even if he can't.

Jonas Maciulis was not drafted, and so he never left Zalgiris Kaunas in his native Lithuania, for whome he averages 10.6 points and 2.5 rebounds.

Tito Maddox has not played since he was waived by the Cavaliers, a fact made bizarre by the fact that he was waived on October 12th, 2003, at the tender age of 22. And unlike many players on this list, Maddox actually has NBA experience. So it's hard to explain where he's disappeared to, unless he is:

a) quietly dead
b) crippled
c) incarcerated
d) really, really disinterested in basketball.

If you know the answer, please comment below, because I want to to know too. (Hint: Myspace is a surprisingly successful way to find out information like this.)


Renaldo Major (can you believe there's more than one NBA player called Renaldo? What are the chances of that?), signed with Tissetanta Cantu of Italy to start the season, but left before the first game. Not sure whether it was injury or apathy induced.

Jackie Manuel played for the Iowa Energy of the D-League before their season finished, alongside many other players who also played for the Iowa Energy. But he was waived due to injury. Manuel averaged 10.8 points and 3.5 rebounds.

Damir Markota hunkers down with Jonas Maciulis above, for Zalgrinis. Markota averages 13 points and 6.8 rebounds a game.

Rawle Marshall is playing for Hemofarm in Serbia. No idea of his stats.

Where Are They Now? Part 22

James Lang is averaging 12.4 points and 7.0 rebounds for the Utah Flash of the D-League.

Kris Lang is playing for Ankara in Turkey, alongside Khalid El-Amin. Finding out stats for Turkish teams seems to need more work than I am willing to put forth, so if you really want to know what Kris Lang averages, here's what you've got to work with. I cannot for the life of me figure out how anyone can be interested enough in the career of Kris Lang to do this, but if you do, good luck to you. Lord knows I've wasted time in much worse ways, and on much worse people than Kris "K.D." Lang.

Keith Langford finally got a look-see in the NBA this season, joining up with the Spurs for a few days. This was back when the Spurs were going through that weird phase of signing lots of people for very short periods of time, as emergency injury cover. It wasn't something that was particularly worthwhile - the Spurs had it all calculated so that they could afford to do this while staying under the tax threshold for the season. However, after Tony Parker got injured, the Spurs then had to sign Damon Stoudamire as cover a bit earlier than they wanted to, which put them back into the tax territory by a mere few thousand dollars. This meant that they had to make another move to get back under it, which they did with the Kurt Thomas trade. (Stoudamire's subsequent shitty play made none of it worth it.)

In a roundabout way, I'm saying that Keith Langford cost the Spurs a first round pick. Just saying.

Of course, if (when) Kurt Thomas wins the Spurs an NBA title - not all that farfetched of a theory if you say it without sarcasm and with context - then my stupid Keith Langford rant is shown up for what it is: stupid.

Anyway, still laden with the guilt of sabotaging such a well-oiled machine (maybe), Langford is playing for the deeply attractive Angelico Biella in Italy, averaging 15 points and 6 rebounds. He is playing alongside B.J. Elder, who is a guard that you may have heard of, and which is also a mighty welcome alternative Christmas present for your grandparents than the usual shortbread that you give them.


Dan Langhi is practicing his open-20-foot-jumpshot-shooting trade in Puerto Rico, averaging 15 points and 9 rebounds for a team called Conquistadores de Guaynabo. Here is a picture of Dan Langhi as a boy:



I have no idea why I own this.


Charles Lee - by the way, it is a coincidence that this edition is featuring so many ex-Spurs - i splaying for Verviers Peinster in the Belgian league. He averages 9.4 points and 3.4 rebounds, and may I remind you that this is the frickin' Belgian league we're talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Charles Lee isn't an NBA talent. Write that down. Shout it from the rooftops. Carve it into trees. Brand it on sheep. It hath been decreed.

Don't know what Voshon Lenard is doing. Don't care what Voshon Lenard is doing.

Anthony Lever-Pedroza, who briefly got into the league, probably ont he basis of who he was related to (he is Fat Lever's nephew), won't be getting back into it unless he stops being crap. Lever=Pedroza, now 29, last played for Siroki in Bosnia, and may be still there, but I can't tell because I don't speak Bosnish.

Ron Lewis did not get drafted, and thus he went to Belgium to play alongside Mario Boggan. (It's the classic route to the NBA.) Lewis averages 16.7 points for a team called Leuven.

Sergei Lishouk is now 26 years old, averaging 12 and 6 for Azovmash int he Ukraine, and flat out has not panned out.

Randy Livingston, who stated that he was "99.55 sure" that was was going to retired after the 2006 season, has now spent two seasons in the D-League destroying all comers. Livingston has averaged 10.7 assists this season down there, the league's best, and he also holds the single game record of 22 in a game.

Steve Logan signed in Venezuela for the start of their season, but was waived due to injury. Since not joining the NBA, Logan has played in the ABA, Poland, Turkey, Greece and Portugal, but hasn't played hardly at all since 2006. This analysis is in-depth!

Raul Lopez averages only 7.3 points and 2.3 assists for Real Madrid. Hmm. Could have sworn that he was better than this.