Tyrone Nesby

I love to read when I'm on the toilet. Love it. Can barely go without it, in fact. Litotes help me to open my sphincter. Unfortunately, I don't own many books. So I tend to read the same ones over and over again.

True to form, I am currently midway through a repeat reading of "When Nothing Else Matters" by Michael Leahy, a exposé-type book about Michael Jordan's shoddy comeback with the Wizards. It's quite good fun, particularly if the Wizards era Jordan was the only Jordan era that you were around to see, as was the case for me. I'm particularly enjoying reading about all the other characters in the story, like Doug Collins, Tim Grover, Jerry Stackhouse, Rip Hamilton, Tyronn Lue, Chris Whitney, Kwame Brown (who, it's fair to say, struggles for good news throughout), Juan Dixon, Bobby Simmons, Courtney Alexander and others. But I am especially mindful of one name that I'd forgotten about, that of Tyrone Nesby, the former defensive specialist and hater of passing that had a few years of coming off NBA benches after picking up a surprisingly generous contract from the Clippers of all teams.

Because of this, I decided to look up what T-Nez was doing these days. The last I had heard, he'd become a rapper, but that was about two years ago, now, so I looked again. The news isn't good, hammer fred.

After the Wizards 2001/02 season, Nesby's $9 million contract had run out, and the Wizards looked elsewhere. No other NBA team seemed to want him, and Nesby hit the European trail, signing with Larisa in Greece and averaging 17.8 points per game. He then went to 2003 summer league with the New York Knicks, but didn't get a contract, and went back to Europe the following year visiting both Italy (13.4 ppg for Varese) and Serbia (21.1 ppg for Relfex Beograd). In the 2004/05 season, Nesby signed with Lietuvos Rytas in Lithuania, for whom he averaged 16.3 points in the ULEB Cup and 13.5 ppg in the Lithuanian league. Nesby's only other basketball stop was in the 2006/07 season, when he co-owned an ABA team called the Las Vegas Venom. (Note: if ever you've wondered what co-owning an ABA team is like, write yourself a cheque for $5,000 grand, then set light to the corner of it and use it to burn down your house. It's a bit like that.) They folded after a few months, getting little further than playing seven games and designing a logo in that time, and that was the end of Nesby's basketball efforts. (Nesby was also the head coach and the star player for the team. Four months well spent.)

You can't keep a good man down, though, and Tyrone Nesby found his true talents when he started to make it big in Lithuania as a rapper called T-Nes. Nesby released an album there called "Serious Business", and it featured Nesby rapping in English to some seminal Lithuanian choruses. Samples of some T-Nes songs can be found on Nesby's website, Nesby World, as well as a frankly stupdenous gallery, feature nude pictures of Nesby's upper body and a touching moment with a Luke Jackson lookalike. So, truly something for everyone there.

In addition to this, Nesby has also seemingly gone back to university to finish his criminal justice degree (he left UNLV after two seasons), information which I learnt from reading this. That page also gives an incorrectly spelled link to Nesby's other website for his non-profit foundation, the aptly named 'Tyrone Nesby Foundation'. (The foundation's site no longer works, even when spelt properly, and is only viewable via this frankly useless archive version. But it's something.) The Hoopcoach link also speaks of Nesby's desire to become a coach one day, and, on his Linkedin page, Tyrone alluds to his dream of becoming a casino host. The man knows what he wants at least occasionally. And I can respect that.

It's all rather positive stuff. A decent basketball career, playing to a decent standard for good money, a reasonable sideline in the music industry, many years spent running a foundation with genuine (if wildly overambitious) intentions to give back to his community, and a man who went back to school to complete his degree mindful of its importance to achieving what he wants to achieving. There's a potentially crap biopic to be made out of that somewhere.


And now, the crimes bit.


Nesby was arrested in the Wizards locker room back in April 2001 after a March 1999 arrest warrant was issued for him after an October 1995 incident. If that makes sense. In the initial incident, Nesby was alleged to have punched, kicked and broke the nose of a man named David Collins in the face during an argument about the verdict in the O.J. Simpson murder trial (which might explain his decision to major in criminal science), and the assault led to a charge of misdemeanour battery. Nesby was tried over the incident in a civil judgment back in 1998, and lost, having to pay the victim $16,500, but the criminal charges were later dropped, despite the 6 years they took to come to fruition. After this came two contempt of court arrests, the first in mid 2007 and the second in January 2008, both times for failing to appear in court at hearings for outstanding child support payments. (And by "outstanding child support payments", I don't mean "child support payments which he made with a rare yet special degree of charm, grace, elegance and suavity usually reserved only for superheroes and dead crooners." I instead mean "payments that he hasn't made yet.") The second arrest saw Nesby sentenced to 22 days in jail for contempt, with the initial hearing being about a child support case that saw him owing over $65,000. A lot of money.

If that was the end of the money owed, then it would be bad enough. But it isn't. Reportedly, at the time of that arrest, Nesby owed "at least $1 million" in child support in various other judgements, not least of which is a $300,000 or so debt in Illinois, where records of so-called 'deliquents' are made publically available on a website. Nesby's entry currently shows that, despite the most recent payment being in this calendar year, he owes almost half a million dollars in this one case alone, and that's not counting the judgments in other states around the country. At the time of Nesby's aforementioned arrest in January 2008, this debt was only - if you can call it that - around $300,000; apparently, subsequent payments notwithstanding, it's somehow gone up $100,000 in less than 18 months. Bummer.

What Nesby is doing to earn the money to pay the debts is unclear, and not really any of my business. But whatever he's doing, he's not earning $3 million a year any more. Yet the payments would appear to have been set back when he was. Is that fair? I don't know. It doesn't seem it.

Either way, help out a struggling child. Put right world famine. Buy Tyrone Nesby's music. Together, we can make poverty history. Just buy two tracks a month, or whatever you can afford.

Please.

Preview Sort Of Thing: Milwaukee Bucks

The Milwaukee Bucks and their new head coach Scott Skiles are an eclectic mix. Recent Skiles-free Bucks teams have been capable of repeated instances of spectacularly bad defense, whereas recent Skiles-led Bulls teams (last year excluded) have been one of the best defensive units in the NBA. Make no mistake about it - Scott Skiles can coach defense. He really can. He even made Michael Sweetney and Eddy Curry into decent defensive players, briefly.

In theory, therefore, a union of the two will bring the much needed defensive improvement to an offensively strong Milwaukee lineup. Or at least, that's one way to look at it. Alternatively, Milwaukee might have just hired a coach that them away from their strengths, further exposing the flaws in their personel. This could go either way.

For every Skiles strength, there is a big Skiles flaw. While he's shown that he can teach help defense to those players previously written off as futile, he also has an awful playbook. While he can coach guards onto better things, he can't coach big men, yet insists that he can. For every young player that thrives under his guidance, one more will be alienated and broken. For every amusing sarcastic comment he makes to the press, he'll make someone hate him. And for every glimpse of the remaining strip of hair across his head that he claims as a hairline......well, actually, there's no flaw to that, it's awesome.

Perhaps mercifully, the Bucks don't have too many young players. Their identity as a veteran team looking for something to push them back into contention was cemented this summer, when they dealt the closest thing that they had to a promising youngster - Yi Jianlian - as the primary piece for an in-his-prime Richard Jefferson. In free agency, the Bucks picked up Skiles's bitch, Malik Allen, as well as other veteran backups Tyronn Lue and Francisco Elson. Trading away Mo Williams saw the Bucks get little of use back on the court, but they did receive Adrian Griffin, Skiles's other bitch, and another old fart with no potential. These moves combined to send out a rather clear signal - they'd quite like to make the playoffs next year, please.

It's probably true to say that the core of Bucks players would be good enough to compete for the East if you significantly improved their defense. They have weapons, after all. Along with one of the league's best shooters in Michael Redd, the Bucks boast the vastly improved Andrew Bogut playing exclusively in the posts. They also now offer 20 point scoring small forward Richard Jefferson and 48 point scoring power forward Charlie Vllanueva, who both offer something of an inside/outside game. And while the point guard duo of Luke Ridnour and Ramon Sessions offer little outside shooting, they're willing and able to pass, which should help.

But it's not as easy as just adding a shit-hot defensive coach. Scott Skiles has clearly defined strengths, thereby seperating him from many NBA coaches (hello, Larry Krystowiak!), but he also has his flaws. Even in the early going, these flaws are showing through. The Sessions/Griffin/Fresh Prince/Allen/Elson lineup has already reared its ugly head on more than once occasion in preseason, and if you want to excuse its presence as being injury- or preseason-induced, then you need to start bracing yourself, because Scott Skiles is VERY willing and able to use Malik Allen as a go-to guy. You have been warned. (Note: this threat is doubly true, given that Allen represents the Bucks' best pick and pop option. Pick and pops are about the limit of Skiles's playbook creativity. Expect Andrew Bogut to be involved in dozens of them, irrespective of his complete lack of a jumpshot.)

That lineup represents the Bucks' closest replication of what Scott Skiles loves more than anything as a coach: players who don't make silly mistakes, talent be damned. If that unit - or any unit - can't get a shot off in 24 seconds, or even get the ball over halfcourt, then no matter, just as long as they rotate on defense and don't get all unnecessarily talented on his ass. This is why thinly veiled threats to start Allen (or Mbah A Moute) over Villanueva have already been made. Villanueva's talent level makes him a far better option at satrting power forward than any possible Bucks alternative, yet precisely because of the nature of his flaws, he may lose playing time. As a coaching philosophy, this mistake-free, defense-first-and-only style gets your players and your team to a certain level of production and success. And then it will keep you there.

Of course, I'm biased. I've watched all bar about seven games of Scott Skiles's tenure, and while I used to defend him vigorously, those days passed once his flaws became more evident. I've witnessed Kirk Hinrich become temporarily brilliant, and yet I've witnessed Tyson Chandler emerge into an elite rebounder and useful offensive presence....for someone else. I've seen Chris Duhon play 8000 minutes, and yet I've seen Thabo Sefolosha become damaged irrepairably. I've seen a Bulls roster overhauled, gain an identity, assume a certain style of play, overachieve, tune out their coach, and fall apart. And it's affected my bias somewhat. I refuse to apologise for this.

Scott Skiles is a coach, whose CV screams "short term improvements". He has been united with a previously mismanaged team, now primarily focused on finding "short term improvements". That team's weaknesses fit in perfectly with Skiles's strengths. The fit is so perfect that it shouldn't be allowed.

And yet, I'm not convinced. Because I've been there.


Short term future: They'll be better than under Krystkowiak, mainly due to the loss of Krystkowiak. Scott Skiles at least knows what he's doing, and half the team will benefit from it. The other half will be moved.
Long term future: See the above Bulls cycle. I'd like to be wrong.

Summer signings, round 5

I am going to make these have a stronger pertinence to actual NBA players, and not just really shit players with vague NBA associations. This is partly because of people's perceived lack of interest in these posts, but also because I'm running out of jokes about people that I barely know. If I'm honest, it's mainly this second one.

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- Mario Austin has signed with Besiktas in Turkey, where he will probably be the finest player in the land bar none, while playing no defense whatsoever. Such is how he rolls.

(Wait, hang on, he's never played in the NBA. Oh well, never mind. He could do, he might still do, I like him, he's on this site, and that's what matters.)

- Houston Rockets draft pick Brad Newley has swapped difficult-to-spell Greek teams, going from Panionios to Panellinios. His brief reign as "The Most Exciting Second Round Pick To Come Out Of Australia" lasted one year before being topped by Nathan Jawai, who, unlike Newley, might actually be quite good. Well, so I'm told.

- C.J. Miles of the Utah Jazz has been signed to an offer sheet by the Oklahoma City Showertraps. The news itself is uninteresting, but it sets some first: the signing is the first in the history of the new Oklahoma City franchise (hooray!), and also the first non-minimum free agency signing that GM Sam Presti has made. The only previous ones were non-guaranteed minimum deals to Mike Wilks (there for 20 days), Eddie Gill (there for 10 days), Jermaine Jackson (there for training camp only), and Ronald Dupree (the last few games of the season). That right there represents no pedigree - no list of basketball players with Mike Wilks as the best player can ever be considered a good list. As for Miles, his offer sheet is for 4 years and $15 millionish, which is clearly way too much for a man who showed little in three years. If Presti's reasoning was to bid enough that Utah would not match, he's certainly gotten that right.

- Carlos Delfino has signed a lucractive contract with Khimky in Russia, whom you will have heard of from reading about the signing of Milt Palacio in Part 2. This article talks about the financial benefits of this move for Delfino, but importantly fails to mention the fact that Delfino would never get paid that much in the NBA because he's not a very good NBA player. And that factors. (Khimky seems to only sign ex-Raptors, with Delfino, Palacio, Jerome Moiso and potentially Jorge Garbajosa on their roster for next season. So maybe there's hope for Juan Dixon.)

- Craig Smith has agreed to re-sign with Minnesota for two years, in what appears to cynical eyes to be an unsubtle bid for unrestricted free agency at the earliest possible opportunity. It's a damn shame that Craig Smith is stuck in Minnesota. I say that not because of some blind hatred for the Timberwolves, but because it means Smith is stuck playing behind Al Jefferson, the one man you wouldn't want to play him alongside. (By the way, are Kevin Love and Al Jefferson really going to work together? Can we get an answer from that from someone named McHale? I'm not saying that they can't, but it's kind of vital, you know? And how the hell did Brian Cardinal, Jason Collins, Calvin Booth and Mark Madsen wind up on the same team? That's a spectacular conflagration of shitness.)

- D'Or Fischer has signed for Maccabi Electra in Israel. I'm not sure that even I care about that one.

- New Jersey have signed both Eduardo Najera and Jarvis Hayes, which is upspetting on a personal leve, because it means that my Andres Nocioni and Cedric Simmons for Keith Van Horn and Stromile Swift trade idea is basically down the crapper now. (Feasibilities from the Nets point of view, be damned. Like this was ever about them.)

- Loren Woods - waived by the Rockets last week - has signed with Zalgiris in Lithuania. I enjoyed his fleeting comeback, though. And Jelani McCoy's.

- Patrick O'Bryant has signed with the Boston Celtics, who appear to have tightened up the pursestrings. With James Posey signed elsewhere and with all their other free agents not expected back, the Celtics now have no bench. This, therefore, seems like a weird signing - with no veteran point guard, no veteran big man and no backup swingman worth a damn, they go out and get Patrick O'Bryant? (Well, OK. Everyone needs a project 7 footer, I suppose. Just as long as they actually remember the other bits too.)

- Toronto signed Roko Ukic to be their new backup point guard, but I can't help but wonder at his NBA.com profile picture.



- The Lakers did not match Golden State's offer sheet to Ronny Turiaf, and for those keeping score at home, the Warriors offseason currently reads like this.

In: Corey Maggette, Ronny Turiaf, Anthony Randolph, Bobby Brown
Out: Baron Davis, Matt Barnes, Mickael Pietrus, Patrick O'Bryant,
Undetermined: Kelenna Azubuike (possibly going), Monta Ellis (will be staying barring disaster), Andris Biedrins (ditto), Dick Hendrix, C.J. Watson

Given that they've bid on pretty much everybody so far, it isn't going too well. When you have eight players heading for free agency, should your second signing really be a backup big man, when you only have one real guard under contract? And that price (4 years, $17 million)? Strange.

Also, the Warriors are reported as considering making a bid for Philadelphia restricted free agent Louie Williams. (Note: people with the name "Louis" but who don't pronounce the "S" should not be allowed to spell it like that. I'm indignant on this.) This, too, seems odd: aside from Nate Robinson, I can't think of a worse person to pair with Ellis. So the Warriors offseason still has ways to go.

- Finally tonight, in the only real news that matters, the Milwaukee Bucks signed Malik Allen and Tyronn Lue, reuniting Malik with former head coach and profound Malik Allen fan, Scott Skiles. Cute. But, as for the Tyronn Lue signing.....not so sure. What was the point for either party? Lue had other suits, some of whom were offering more money, more minutes, and more wins than the Bucks. So why does he choose Milwaukee? (Readers note: The correct answer is "the lure of Malik Allen.") Also, why does Milwaukee sign Tyronn Lue, when they have Maurice Williams as the incumbent starter, and Ramon Sessions as a promising backup? If they're going to use Lue solely as a third string, then they've got themselves a high quality third string point guard, so well done them. But why not sign a point guard with some good defense? (And no, I'm not advocating the re-signing of Royal Ivey. I said good defense.) Lue replicates a lot of the skill set from those in front of him, except without the passing. In that respect, it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Then again, not a lot has made sense so far this offseason. And at least they didn't overpay.

Player profiles known to be in existence

Sometimes people ask me if there's a way to find out which player profiles have been written and which have not, as about 75% of them aren't complete as we speak.

Well, there isn't. Or rather, there wasn't. For I'm now going to tell you.

The following have been done:

Josh Childress, Jason Collier, Tony Delk, John Edwards, Al Harrington, Royal Ivey, Joe Johnson, Tyronn Lue, Zaza Pachulia, Donta Smith, Josh Smith, Salim Stoudamire, Marvin Williams, Tony Allen, Marcus Banks, Mark Blount, Curtis Borchardt, Will Bynum, Ricky Davis, Dan Dickau, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Orien Greene, Al Jefferson, Raef LaFrentz, Kendrick Perkins, Paul Pierce, Justin Reed, Brian Scalabrine, Delonte West, Qyntel Woods, Alan Anderson, Keith Bogans, Primoz Brezec, Kevin Burleson, Matt Carroll, Melvin Ely, Raymond Felton, Jason Kapono, Brevin Knight, Sean May, Antonio Meeking, Emeka Okafor, Bernard Robinson Jr, Cream Rush, Jake Voskuhl, Gerald Wallace, Malik Allen, Eddie Basden, Tyson Chandler, Eddy Curry, Antonio Davis, Luol Deng, Chris Duhon, Ben Gordon, Othella Harrington, Kirk Hinrich, Andres Nocioni, Jannero Pargo, Eric Piatkowski, Drew Gooden, LeBron James, Ira Newble, Erick Dampier, Jerry Stackhouse, Earl Boykins, Marcus Camby, Julius Hodge, Andre Miller, Luke Schenscher, Darko Milicic, Adonal Foyle, Jason Richardson, Chris Taft, Jon Barry, Bob Sura, Austin Croshere, Sarunas Jasikevicius, Scot Pollard, Zeljko Rebraca, Stanislav Medvedenko, Smush Parker, Eddie Jones, Jake Tsakalidis, Lorenzen Wright, Dwyane Wade, Dorell Wright, Andrew Bogut, Desmond Mason, Bobby Simmons, Joe Smith, Kevin Garnett, Troy Hudson, Michael Olowokandi, Vince Carter, Jason Collins, Zoran Planinic, P.J. Brown, Jamaal Magloire, Krik Snyder, Jamal Crawford, Penny Hardaway, Jerome James, David Lee, Michael Sweetney, Steve Francis, Pat Garrity, Raja Bell, Kurt Thomas, Dijon Thompson, Juan Dixon, Khryapa the Rapper, Darius Miles, Travis Outlaw, Ruben Patterson, Joel Przybilla, Zach Randolph, Theo Ratliff, Ha Seung-Jin, Sebastian Telfair, Kevin Martin, Ronnie Price, Brian Skinner, Bruce Bowen, Tony Parker, Rick Brunson, Vitaly Potapenko, Rafer Alston, Eric Williams, Loren Woods, Carlos Boozer, Devin Brown, Keith McLeod, Antonio Daniels, Dan Dickau, Jared Jefferies, Peter John Ramos, Gary Payton, Eddie House, Jay Williams, Rodney Buford, Adrian Griffin, Darvin Ham, Glenn Robinson, Michael Curry, Christian Laettner, James Thomas, Marcus Fizer, Paul Shirley, Matt Freedgy, Keon Clark, Ben Handlogten, Obinna Ekezie, Jared Reiner, Don Reid, Albert Miralles, Andreas Glyniadakis, Cenk Akyol, Darius Songaila, Marcus Douthit, Roger Mason Jr, Shawn Bradley, Slavko Vranes, Szyzmon Szewcyk, Tamar Slay, Ronny Turiaf, Martynas Andriuskevicius, Horace Jenkins, Vlade Divac, Jerome Williams, Andrew DeClercq, David Andersen, Esteban Batista, Josip Sesar, Roberto Duenas, Frederic Weis, Luis Scola, Cezary Trybanski, Norm Richardson, Corey Williams, Kennedy Winston, Ime Udoka, Herve Lamizana, Stephen Graham, Noel Felix, whoever Omar Thomas is, Chris Alexander, Steven Barber, Adam Chubb, Anthony Grundy, Nigel Dixon, Darius Rice, Andrei Fetisov, Aurelijius Zukauskas, Tyrus Thomas, Joakim Noah, Brandon Roy, Sheldon Williams, Marcus Williams, Solomon Jones, Leon Powe, Cheikh Samb, Damir Markota, Allan Ray, Walter Herrmann, Alain Digbeu, Ben Pepper, Ivan McFarlin, Jefferson Sobral, Joe Shipp, Tyler Smith, Aaron Gray, Wilson Chandler, Jermareo Davidson, Coby Karl, Rashid Byrd, Brent Petway, Roderick Wilmont, Jared Homan, Joseph Blair, Alvin Jones and Brad Stricker.


This list took 45 minutes to compile so you'd better use it, or else.

That's an idle threat since I have no way of punishing you if you don't do so, so just ignore it.

What I'd like to do is rig up a comments system where each profile has its own comments section like these blogs posts do. But I don't know how to do that. If you do know, and you wish to tell me, and if you wish to help me accepting that you won't get paid in any way, why not write in and tell me?