Where Are They Now: 2009 Summer League Teams Part 2

It's been roughly two months since summer league started, and most of the players involved have been rehomed now. The following is a list of where everybody currently is, or where they might be going.

This list gets a bit long, so if you want to just skip to your favoured team, you can do so. I'll allow that.



Indiana Pacers

My initial summary


- Will Blalock: Blalock is unsigned. But he averaged more points (6.2) and assists (2.8) in summer league than he did last season in Germany (4.2 & 2.1). So he's got that going for him.

- Derrick Byars: See Denver entry.

- Tyler Hansbrough: Hansbrough is signed, and weirdly.

- Roy Hibbert: I said it before, but I'll say it again; Hibbert is better than you thought he was going to be.

- Jared Homan: The Ho-Man signed in Greece with Costa Cafe Marousi to replace Andreas Glyniadakis, who signed with Olympiakos.

- Aaron Jackson: Jackson may or may not have signed in Turkey. It depends on what this really says.

- Trey Johnson: Johnson didn't pick the best summer league team to be on. He might have made an NBA team with a better showing and a better opportunity. As it is, he's now signed in France with BCM Gravelines Dunkerque Grand Littoral, a team that really needs to truncate its name.

- Leo Lyons: See Cleveland entry.

- Josh McRoberts: Despite having a fully guaranteed $1,000,497 qualifying offer, McRoberts re-signed for a guaranteed minimum of $825,497, with $250,000 guaranteed for the following season. I guess he just wanted to get out of restricted free agency as soon as possible.

- A.J. Price: Price hasn't signed with the Pacers, but now that they've bought out Jamaal Tinsley, he must have a chance. The Pacers don't especially need four point guards, but this doesn't usually stop them.

- Brandon Rush: Rush played in only one summer league game, and shot 4-19. Let's pretend it didn't happen.

- Anthony Smith: Smith is unsigned.

- Scott VanderMeer: Vandermeer is signed along with Travis Walton with the Lugano Tigers in Switzerland. That team is going to be fierce next year. Also on that team are Mohammed Abukar and Derek Stockalper. You might know about Abukar from his Florida days, his San Diego State days or his Austin Toros days, and you might know Derek Stockalper if you watched Britain vs Switzerland two years ago. He's the one who pirhouetted on every three point attempt. I liked him.




L.A. Clippers

My initial summary


- Sean Banks: Don't know what this means.

- Corie Belser: A very late addition to summer league, Belser has played the last three years in Greece with Larisa, and has now moved to Aris Thessaloniki.

- Nik Caner-Medley: Caner-Medley is back in the ACB, despite being kicked off of Cajasol Sevilla at the end of last season for drunkenly fighting a team mate. He is now with MMT Estudiantes Madrid.

- Dionte Christmas: Watched a Temple game recently. Just wanted to say that. The Sixers have offered Christmas a training camp spot, but he's still looking at European opportunities.

- Eric Gordon: With him and the next guy, the Clippers have a good young core. I only hope they know this.

- Blake Griffin: Got in trouble a while ago for saying that I'd rather have Blake Griffin than Derrick Rose. Still standing by it.

- DeAndre Jordan: Lots of players are regarded as being all athleticism and no skills, but never is this more true at the NBA level than of DeAndre Jordan. Even on that night he put up 20/10 versus the Lakers, he let Andrew Bynum score 42. I'm not a fan right now.

- Marcelus Kemp: Kemp has gone back to the Italian second division and is now with Banco di Sardegna Sassari. Never heard of them.

- Kyle McAlarney: McAlarney is unsigned. He shot well for the Clippers - he always shoots well - but the 1:1 assist/turnover ratio and the two free throw attempts in 5 games are emblematic of his flaws.

- Kevinn Pinkney: Pinkney didn't take a three in summer league, which is an improvement, but he also shot only 20% and rebounded to his usual substandard. He is currently unsigned.

- Mike Taylor: Taylor was waived by the Clippers before his contract became guaranteed. The team that needs all the scoring and guard help that it could get decided not to play Mike Taylor the minimum, even after trading what turned out to be the #33 pick (Dante Cunningham) for him. Whoops. Taylor has since worked out for the Grizzlies, but is unsigned.




L.A. Lakers

My initial summary


- Alan Anderson: Anderson signed with Maccabi Tel-Aviv before summer league even started. Which makes you wonder why he turned up at all.

- Aron Baynes: Similarly, Baynes signed with Lietuvos Rytas in Lithuania before summer league started. He played terribly in summer league, so that was probably a blessing.

- Dominique Coleman: Coleman is signed with Dexia Mons-Hainaut in Belgium.

- Chinemelu Elonu: Elonu is unsigned. I'm not sure if he's planning on going to camp with the Lakers this year, but if he is, he'll probably lose.

- Tony Gaffney: Gaffney is signed with Altshuler Saham Galil Gilboa in Israel.

- Terrel Harris: Harris is signed with IG Strasbourg in France.

- Justin Hawkins: Unsigned. And it's hard to find out news about him because of the unwelcome presence of the highly annoying bucktoothed cokehead cockhead ex-Darkness frontman of the same name. He's releasing a World Cup song, apparently. Yeefreakinghaw.

- Ben McCauley: McCauley's taken his unaggressive ways to France, where he'll blend in nicely as Harris' Strasbourg teammate. He also had a pretty damn impressive summer league all told, which might buy him a repeat performance next year.

- David Monds: Monds averaged 14 points off the bench in summer league, which is a pretty special feat. He took a boatload of midrange jumpshots to do it, a wildly overrated style of field goal attempt loved by purists and denounced by SABRmetricians, but at least they went in. He is unsigned, which may or may not mean anything.

- Adam Morrison: Morrison scored heavily and often in summer league, just like he used to. This season might represent his last chance, but it can't be any worse than the last two years have been, If he's finally healthy, he'll have a role to play, even if it's not on the Lakers. (Is a salary dump onto Memphis too unfeasible?)

- Taylor Rochestie: Rotch is signed with MEG Goettingen in Germany.

- Luke Schenscher: Schenscher didn't play with the Lakers due to a back injury. He returned to Australia to work out with his former team, the Adelaide 36ers, but he's not going to be signing in Australia. He remains unsigned.

- Mustafa Shakur: Shakur, too, is unsigned.

- Reggie Williams: VMI starlet Reggie Williams is also unsigned. How can this be? Oh the humanity.




Memphis Grizzlies

My initial summary


- Jeff Adrien: Adrien has signed in the Spanish second division with Leche Rio Breogan Lugo. You'll notice that I go out of my way to point out when someone has signed in a second division, and that this doesn't happen very often. It's generally not a good thing when it does.

- Darrell Arthur: Good news! Darrell Arthur won't be starting at power forward next year. Bad news! Zach Randolph will be.

- DeMarre Carroll: Do you think that if the Grizzlies knew that Sam Young would fall to #36 that they would have picked Wayne Ellington instead? I do.

- Erik Daniels: Daniels hasn't yet been able to turn his season of magnanimity into a contract anywhere. He's unsigned and looks like a candidate to return to the D-League. That is, unless he moves to Italy.

- Daniel Ewing: Ewing re-signed with Prokom Sopot, the Polish Euroleague team.

- Trey Gilder: Gilder was signed by the Grizzlies just last week, since they're still apparently looking for athletic forward help. I think they've got enough now, though.

- Hamed Haddadi: Haddadi is under contract to the Grizzlies for two more years. He's not very happy about this. You know what pissed me off about that story? Not a single news outlet went with the headline "Grizzlies' Haddadi unhapappy." Do I have to do all the work here?

- Kenny Hasbrouck: Hasbrouck didn't play for the Grizzlies in the end, and remains unsigned. But he did get a post-SL workout from the Heat for some reason.

- Longar Longar: Longar Longar is unsigned, and if he doesn't go back to the D-League, then I'll be more confused than I was when I watched Cleaner and didn't initially realise that the character of Rose was NOT Samuel L. Jackson's wife, but his daughter. (Oh sure, it's easy in hindsight. But they snuggled, man. They snuggled. That's just weird, you know?)

- Brion Rush: Rush has signed with Triumph in Russia.

- Donta Smith: Smith remains unsigned, and he's probably still not allowed in Puerto Rico.

- Greg Stiemsma: Stiemsma was picked in the KBL Draft last month, and is over there now doing their initiation thing.

- Hasheem Thabeet: I've publicly stated in the past that I would have picked Ricky Rubio, and I still kind of stand by that, joyously ignorant as I am of the meticulous nature of his buyout. But even if they didn't want Rubio, what was wrong with Tyreke Evans? He's a better player than Thabeet with a much better upside, and even if he's not a great fit with O.J. Mayo, that's no reason not to pick him. It's the number 2 pick. Pick the second best player in the draft. Work the rest out later. This is what I'd do. I'm just saying.

- Marcus Williams: Williams played very well for the Grizzlies in summer league and has since earned a funky contract. I'm happy to announce that I sort of predicted this. Sort of. (Meaning that I didn't really.)

- Sam Young: Young signed a three year contract, which is a tad odd, but beneficial to both parties. It pays $824,200 in the first year, $886,000 in the second, and there's a third team option year at $947,800. That is the equal of the 100% scale amount that the 30th pick in the draft would receive, except without the fourth season. Not sure why they did this. But it's good news for Sam Young, decent news for Memphis, and not such good news for Christian Eyenga. And it's definitely creative financing.




Milwaukee Bucks

My initial summary


- Joe Alexander: Richard Jefferson is gone, but Scott Skiles is still there, and the unheralded Ersan Ilyasova is back. I still don't predict good things for Alexander and would love to be wrong about that.

- Paul Delaney: Delaney is signed with Hapoel Holon in Israel. What does Hapoel mean?

- Dominic James: James didn't play on the Bucks summer league team due to another injury. He is unsigned, and the D-League makes a hell of a lot of sense for him right now.

- Brandon Jennings: Jennings played very well in summer league, and I've been saying that I don't rate him for quite a while now. It's a topic that nees fleshing out, I think. And it's a topic that'll get fleshed out once Ramon Sessions' future is finally decided.

- Amir Johnson: It was a really pointless trade for the Bucks to acquire Johnson in the first place. It was an even more pointless one to then move him on to Toronto. This, too, will be fleshed out soon, in a post about the Bucks that might not be entirely favourable.

- Luc Richard Mbah A Moute: This guy's great, though. They struck a winner with this one. If him, Skiles and Chris Duhon release a threesome sextape at some point in the near future, don't be shocked.

- Will McDonald: McDonald asked Tau Ceramica nicely if they'd led him play in summer league. They permitted it. McDonald averaged 5.3/4.7 in three games. He then signed a three year contract with C.B. Gran Canaria. Is this a summer league success story? I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not sure of why any of this took place. But well done to him anyway.

- Jodie Meeks: Signed for three years in one of the few good bits of business than the Bucks have done this year.

- Juan Palacios: Palacios played 46 of the most incosequential minutes you'll ever see in summer league. 3 points, 3 rebounds, 3 fouls, 10% shooting. Thanks for playing. He is on loan for next year to U.B. La Palma in Spain's LEB Gold (second division) from Gran Canaria (in the ACB, or first division.

- Chris Richard: With not a huge amount of centre size on the Bucks SL roster, Richard had a chance to impress here. He didn't, totalling 17 fouls in 51 minutes. He looks like a candidate fur the D-League once again.

- Salim Stoudamire: No offense to Salim, since everyone knows I'm a big fan, but there was no reason for the Bucks to bring in Salim in the first place. This was made doubly true by the drafting of Meeks. They've now finally cut Salim, who remains unsigned.

- Szymon Szewczyk: Szewczyk is an established European presence whose body type, skillset, harline and and athleticism are more suited to the European game. He has no reason to give that up. So he hasn't; he's signed with Air Avellino in Italy for next year.

- Mohammed Tangara: If you want to know what Mohammed Tangara is up to, why not email him?

- Lorrenzo Wade: Wade has signed with Kavala/Panorama in Greece. The forward slash is their work, not my typo.




Minnesota Timberwolves

My initial summary


- Corey Brewer: Brewer is finally healthy, and competition at the Timberwolves' wing positions is far from strong. Before he got hurt, Brewer had started to get somewhere. If he picks up where he left off, we'll pretend his rookie year never happened.

- Bobby Brown: If anyone stood to benefit from the Rubio saga (other than Barcelona) it was Bobby Brown. Brown was a summer league success last year, which is how he came to earn a two year guaranteed contract from the Kings. But when draft night came around, and the Wolves picked four point guards, it didn't look good for Bobby. Nevertheless, after trading away Nick Calathes, Ty Lawson and Sebastian Telfair, and with Rubio not signing, Brown is now the primary backup. It's all coming up Milhouse. Giggidy.

- Pat Carroll: Don't know if I mentioned this before, but for Tenerife last year, Pat Carroll averaged 3.4 rebounds, 1 assist and 1 steal per 48 minutes, shooting 7 three pointers for every free throw attempted, and with 75% of his FG attempts being from three point range. It doesn't get much more one dimensional than that. Pat is unsigned, and having spent the last three years in playing various calibre of Spanish basketball, he's a good bet to go back there again.

- Wayne Ellington: Signed, and without incentives.

- Jonny Flynn: Likewise.

- Devin Green: Wikipedia says he's signed with the Spurs, which is pretty much why you should never trust Wikipedia for anything basketball related. Green is unsigned, but he usually gets a training camp spot somewhere, so one more wouldn't be a great surprise.

- Paul Harris: Unsigned, with whispers of a standing training camp offer from the Wolves.

- Gerald Henderson: Signed, but with the Bobcats. Obviously. While letting Henderson play with another team was pretty cool, it would be even better if Charlotte would just pony up and enter a team of their own. If you're short of money, don't trade for Nazr Freaking Mohammed and DeSagana Freaking Diop. For Freak's sake.

- Steven Hill: Hill didn't go to the Wolves summer league, for reasons I'm not sure of. He's now unsigned, for reasons I'm fully aware of.

- Rob Kurz: Kurz will sign with the Cavaliers for training camp.

- Adam Parada: Parada was a very late addition to the summer league roster, after Hill didn't turn up. He is unsigned, but he's a savvy minor league veteran, so he'll find something. Fun Adam Parada fact: about three years ago, one of Adam Parada's friends asked me to post a video of Adam Parada being punched by Robert Whaley, so that he could use it to laugh at Adam Parada. Not a fun fact: Robert Whaley's son was knocked down and killed by a car last month. Very bad times.

- Oleksiy Pecherov: Every time there's a glimmer of hope for some Pecherov PT - such as when the Wolves traded away Craig Smith and Mark Madsen - they go and ruin it by acquiring another big (Ryan Hollins). It's Pecherov's own fault, really, for not being a very good player. Still, if my genius trade idea goes through (Chucky Atkins and Darius Songaila for Antonio Daniels and Devin Brown), then that gives Petch one last hope.

- Garret Siler: The ever-efficient Siler shot a Garrett Siler-like 78% in summer league. He has since earned an invite to Hawks training camp. However, the Hawks are stuck with paying Randolph Morris a guaranteed contract. Siler will have to shoot 88% to make them overlook that.

- Ben Woodside: Woodside is signed with Gravelines in France.




New Jersey Nets/Philadelphia 76ers

My initial summary


- A.J. Abrams: Abrams' European adventure has begun with Trikalla in Greece.

- Jeff Adrien: See Grizzlies entry.

- Blake Ahearn: With literally nothing left to prove in the D-League, Ahearn has decided it's time to start getting paid, and has gone to the ACB to sign with MMT Estudiantes Madrid.

- Dionte Christmas: See Clippers entry.

- Chris Douglas-Roberts: Chris Douglas-Roberts recently followed Bracey Wright's lead and took delibery of a Bengal cat. And here they are.

- Jason Ellis: Ellis is signed with GasTerra Flames Groningen in Holland, one of 7 Americans on the team. One of the others is Darian Townes.

- Gary Forbes: Forbes is still building an NBA resumé and is now in Italy's SerieA with Vanoli Cremona, who last year were in LegaDue and were known as Vanoli Soresina. Confusing, isn't it? OK OK OK, I'll make the freaking name changes list......

- Jrue Holiday: Don't understand this pick. Not with Darren Collison and Ty Lawson still on board. Even Jeff Teague and Eric Maynor may be better, although I don't know a lot about those two. (Also, if you've just picked Jrue Holiday, don't then re-sign Royal Ivey. Ivey is barely an NBA player to begin with, but when you really need shooting and actual point guard play on offense, don't bring in a second defensive specialist. Come on now.)

- Chris Johnson: Johnson has signed with a Turkish team that I'd never previously heard of, Aliaga Petkim.

- Rob Kurz: See Timberwolves entry.

- Marreese Speights: Sixers fans asking if a Speights for Kirk Hinrich deal is in some way plausible; nope. You don't have the suitable salaries, and even if you did, the Bulls freaking love Hinrich and are prioritising defense. Trading Hinrich for Speights makes our defense even worse. And it's not good to begin with.

- Terrence Williams: Williams' future offensive problems in the NBA showed themselves early. He turned it over 4 times a game, and shot percentages of 33%/28%/46%. That's really, really bad, and it's a shame that his good passing skills are going to go to waste in the NBA.




New Orleans Hornets

My initial summary


- Earl Barron: Barron is unsigned.

- Earl Calloway: Calloway had already signed with Khimki in Russia before summer league started, and has since moved to Cajasol Sevilla, so he's not unsigned.

- Jaycee Carroll: Carroll is signed with C.B. Gran Canaria. Did you know he was 26 already? Me neither.

- Darren Collison: Big fan.

- Brian Cusworth: Cusworth was one of the better players in Spain's LegaDue last year, and now he's made the step up to the ACB, signing with Basquet Manresa.

- Terry Martin: Martin averaged 5/2 last year for LSU, which was somehow enough to get a summer league spot. Normality has now been restored, however, as Martin has joined the perfectly named Oberwart Gunners in the seminal Austrian league. (No offense meant by any of that, Terry Martin. It's just that this is an NBA website and so we judge players by NBA standards. You know what I mean?)

- Luke Nevill: Nevill is unsigned. Australia have some pretty good big men, though, don't they? Shame that Patty Mills and Brad Newley are all the guard help they can offer. Unless you think highly of C.J. Bruton.

- Larry Owens: Owens is unsigned.

- Marc Salyers: Salyers is signed with Le Mans Sarthe Basket in France. I'm still not sure why this 30 year old forward came over to summer league, four years after he last stuck his nose into the NBA (which, not coincidentally, was with the 2005 Hornets summer league team). I guess he just wanted to know what could have been. Salyers is a big time scorer on the continent, and should probably stay there.

- Courtney Sims: Sims didn't play for the Hornets and is unsigned. He looks like a logical candidate for a training camp spot somewhere.

- Marcus Thornton: Thornton is signed to a two year guaranteed minimum salary contract.

- Anthony Tolliver: Same as Sims, except the bit about him not playing for the Hornets.

- Quinton Watkins: Watkins didn't play for San Diego State. He didn't play for the Hornets in summer league. So what are the chances that a European team will have signed him? Here's a clue; they haven't.

- Julian Wright: A lot of people have suggested that the Hornets trade of Rasual Butler will open up an opportunity for Wright to start doing something. But I'm more of the school of thought that says the player to benefit most from the deal is Mo Peterson. Peterson fell off fast, and I whole heartedly believe that there's a second wind in there somewhere. I'm not sure why I believe this, but I do. Also, it's about time they got something from the heavy investment they made in him, don't you think?

Summer league round-up: Minnesota Timberwolves

View the Timberwolves summer league roster.

- Corey Brewer: Brewer was awful his rookie year. Like, really awful. His offense was enthusiastic, but it was also several kinds of bad, and thoroughly undeserving of a number 7 pick. Brewer started to make some strides, though, with a good summer league last year and a fine opening 5 games to last season. Unfortunately, he then popped his knee badly, which has undone all the good work. Minnesota's forward spots are crowded, but the shooting guard spot is wide open, and if Brewer can show something then he might win the spot as a very tall two. But if he doesn't, he'll be fighting Ryan Gomes for small forward time.

- Bobby Brown: Bobby Brown is a testament to the point of summer league. Most players turn up to summer league to win spots in other leagues, but Brown beat the odds and played so well in summer league that he earned himself a two year guaranteed contract with the Kings. He was traded to the Timberwolves at mid season, seemingly only as a money saving venture (the three other players in the deal are all now UFA's), and now he finds himself as the second of two incumbent points guard on a team that just drafted 12 more of them. So that's a bugger. Nevertheless, his contract is guaranteed, and if Minnesota decide they don't want him, some other NBA team should do.

- Pat Carroll: When talking about Pat Carroll, I always feel compelled to compare him to Matt Carroll. Maybe I'm just not that imaginative. Either way, Matt Carroll has four years left to run on his guaranteed deal with the Mavericks, and Pat Carroll just spent a year in the Spanish second division. So you tell me who has the best chance of being in the NBA next year. By the way, be it an irony, a coincidence, or just an uninteresting fact, the Mavericks were also the team that gave Pat Carroll his sole NBA shot, a training camp contract in 2006. They also signed Samo Udrih in 2005, challenging the 2009 Phoenix Suns for "most inferior brothers that you can get on one team at a time that their superior brother is still in the league" award. But Phoenix wins because they've got two at the same time.

- Wayne Ellington: The next Voshon Lenard. Mark it down.

- Jonny Flynn: First of all, the Timberwolves should have picked Stephen Curry. Second of all, Flynn is way too flawed to be a number 6 pick, with questionable outside shooting, a tendency to get wild and poor perimeter defense, and it's only the upside that comes with his athleticism and the weakness of the draft that gets him drafted that high. Thirdly, Jonny Flynn kills kittens. I haven't finished with that joke yet.

- Devin Green: Green started last year with the Spurs in training camp, but didn't make the team even after playing pretty well in preseason. He then went to Belgium, and later moved on to the Ukraine, averaging 17.0 points, 7.3 rebounds and 3.0 assists for Dnipro. If the Timberwolves can't or won't bring back Rodney Carney, then Green makes for a pretty good replacement. He has a chance of making this roster, since it's not deep on the wings right now.

- Paul Harris: Paul Harris reportedly flew up draft boards in the very final run-up to the draft after a series of impressive workouts. In fact, he flew up them so far that he went from being an undrafted talent, to being undrafted. Oh no, wait, he didn't move up at all. Sorry.

Everyone seems to like Harris for his athleticism. And he does have every athletic advantage in the book; he's quick, strong and a huge leaper, even if he tends to lose his leaping ability and front rim dunks at the 58 minute mark on the second game of a back to back. However, he's only 6'4, without much of a slashing game, and with next to no jumpshot. He could be a defensive stopper, but he tends to drift around on that end, and as such he isn't. He also has a criminal history, which doesn't work in your favour when you're on the fringes. Harris initially agreed to join the Cavaliers summer league team, but changed his mind and is now reunited with Syracuse team mate Flynn. Maybe he thinks this will help. I'm not convinced.

- Gerald Henderson: The Bobcats don't have a summer league roster this year, so they're letting Henderson play for the Wolves so that he doesn't miss out on the experience. It's a pretty cool idea, but not as cool as ponying up for your own damn team. Pussies.

- Steven Hill: Hill is about as one dimensional of a shotblocker as you can get. He doesn't rebound much, and he doesn't score; he's all just blocked shots and hair. I like him a lot. But read the Bucks round-up, specifically the bit about Chris Richard, and then tell me why Hill has chosen this team to play with. I just don't get it.

- Rob Kurz: Kurz was signed by the Warriors for training camp, then waived, then almost immediately brought back when Monta Ellis was suspended. He managed to survive the whole year, with even Richard Hendrix being waived before him. Christ knows why, though, because Kurz sucks. Last year, he totalled 157 points, 82 rebounds and 78 fouls, shooting 39% in 40 games. The Warriors then finally realised his mediocrity and didn't extend him a qualifying offer. What kept them?

- Oleksiy Pecherov: Pecherov also chugs quite a lot of balls. He's a tall jumpshooter with a solid rebounding rate, but that's pretty much it. There's scant little defense and no interior offense, and somehow he managed only 2 rebounds and 2 assists all of last season. That's got to be hard to do. Still, for as long as Pecherov looks like Stewie Griffin during his unheralded needle drug period, I think we'll all continue to like him.

- Garret Siler: If you're 6'10 and 305 pounds, yet playing in NCAA Division 2, then there's something wrong with you, really. And Garret Siler's problem is that he's only played basketball for a scant few years. Siler averaged 16.2 points, 7.7 rebounds and 2.6 blocks for the mighty Augusta State Jaguars last year, on percentages of 66% and 79%. However, contrary to usual practice, that's 79% from the field and 66% from the line, a total of 566 points on 285 shots. If you don't believe me, read this. Pretty impressive, although given that he probably played mostly against 6'6 210lbs opposing centres, it's not entirely without context. Siler is fat and slow, which hampers any NBA prospects, but if he can find a similar level of professional competition to that of Augusta State's schedule, then he'll have himself a career. Might I recommend China?

- Ben Woodside: Similarly, if you are both one of the leading scorers and assist makers in all of Division 1, and you don't get drafted, then there's something wrong with you too. And that's what just happened to Ben Woodside, who averaged 23.2 points (8th in NCAA) and 6.2 assists (joint 5th) in his senior season for North Dakota State. He scored big, he scored efficiently, and he racked up the assists to boot. He even had a 60 point, 8 rebound and 8 assist outing, where he shot 35 free throws and his team lost anyway. Good times, sort of. However, Woodside's problem is that he's small. He's listed as 5'11 and 185 pounds, and isn't physical or strong. And rightly or wrongly, that doesn't get you in the NBA. Woodside might hang around the NBA fringes for a while, but a career in Europe is probably best suited to him anyway.

Wayne Simien retires

I have been too snowed under with school work in recent times to keep you informed of that scrub news that you know and love, but the work is now clear, and so the news is back on. Unfortunately, we start with bad times.

Former Kansas star and Miami Heat first round draft pick Wayne Simien retires from professional basketball, as explained in this email (courtesy of Eurobasket):

'The family and I are un-jet-lagged, unpacked and officially settled. It is great being back', said Simien, who lives with his wife and two children in Lawrence. 'We had a fabulous time in Spain and it was a great cultural experience. I had a good season on the court and we made some really great friends.'

'As far as my basketball future is concerned, I am officially retiring from playing professionally. I still love the game of basketball, can play at a high level and make a great living, however I have more of a passion to pursue other things. That passion being for Christian ministry and youth athletics.

“I will be ministering through the ‘Called To Greatness’ organization (iamctg.org) that I started last year, as well as working with Morningstar Church ministering to the youth and college students.”

Simien had been playing in Spain this past season, for a team called Caceres in the LEB Gold (second division). It wasn't the greatest standard of basketball in the world, and Caceres only finished 11th with a 15-19 record, but Simien produced, averaging 16.8 points and 8.2 rebounds on 62% shooting in the 15 games that he played.

More importantly, the stay in Spain represented a return to basketball and to full health for Simien, who hadn't played the previous season, and who only played 8 games in 2006-07 due to contracting salmonella. This, sadly, is what many people will mainly remember him for. God knows how you catch it twice, but Simien did, and it's a legacy he probably doesn't want.

Simien's college career was brilliant, but his NBA career was less so. Drafted by the Heat with the 29th pick in the first round of the 2005 draft, Simien had a fairly promising rookie year, averaging 3.4ppg and 2.0rpg on 48.3% shooting in limited minutes, on a Heat team that won the championship that year. Unfortunately, Simien contracted his first case of salmonella during the NBA finals that year, and was sick for much of the summer. He returned for training camp, and began the season with the team, but then the disease recurred around about Christmas time. The illness, recovery, fatigue and hefty weight loss ended his season, and he played in only 8 games in the 2006/07 season. Worse still, in the 2007 offseason, Simien suffered the indignity of being salary dumped to the Minnesota Timberwolves as a part of the Mark Blount/Antoine Walker/Ricky Davis trade thing. Minnesota waived him the same week they got him, and Simien didn't play at all that season. In the summer of 2008, got a roster spot on the Cleveland Cavaliers summer league team, but couldn't play due to a hamstring injury. After that, he signed with Caceres....and now we're back to the start, with Simien retiring to join the church.

He seems happy, though, so good luck to him.


In other retirement news, Bucks draftee and mere technicality Eurelijius Zukauskas retired this week, as did former Denver Nuggets guard Predrag Savovic. But you haven't heard of them, so they're not important.

Kirk Snyder Arrested For Beating Someone Up In Their Sleep

WCPO.com: Former Jazz, Rockets, Hornets and Timberwolves swingman Kirk Snyder arrested for aggravated burglary and felonious assault.

Warren County Deputies say the player who helped put the University of Nevada-Reno in the Sweet 16 in March 2004 has been arrested for aggravated burglary and felonious assault in Deerfield Township.

Deputies arrested Kirk Snyder early Monday morning at his residence in the 5300 block of Commonwealth Drive in the Beacon Hill townhouses.

Officers say just before 4 a.m., a resident on Commonwealth Drive heard glass breaking downstairs in her house. She tells police when she got up to investigate, a tall man pushed her aside and ran to the upstairs bedroom where he began to assault her sleeping husband. She says while he was beating her husband, she was able to pull the hood away from covering his head and the assailant then fled out the back door where he had broken in.

Deputies say their investigation and a canine led deputies to Snyder’s nearby residence where he was taken into custody within minutes of the offense.

Snyder averaged 34 points and 10 rebounds in China last season, well on the way to rebuilding his NBA resumé. He was staring down a spot on a training camp roster somewhere next year, and should never have fallen out of the NBA in the first place. But apparently all this was secondary to the opportunity of beating a man in front of his wife while he slept.

(Allegedly.)

Great plan, fella.




Additionally, any allegations that I may have recently beaten the living crap out of a hooker in a hotel room are false, and tant amount to scandalous lies.

Dreaming about Mark Madsen

Do you ever stop and think about that time that Mark Madsen shot seven three pointers in an overtime game, when Minnesota and Memphis had the most blatant tank-off that history has ever seen? No, nor did I. That is, not until this morning, when I woke up thinking about it.

(For those unaware of what the hell I'm talking about, here's a box score.)

It's not an entirely normal thing to wake up thinking about, even for the most hardcore Madsen fans amongst us. (For we are all Mark Madsen fans. Obviously.) But some part of this must have ruffled my feathers, stoned my crows and enraged my loins, because this was all that i could think about for about 3 minutes after waking up.

It is now a permanent blot on the NBA landscape. The situation Minnesotas found themselves in - not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough to suck mightily without trying to - left them deliberately trying to lose games. It needn't have done, but General Manager extraordinaire Kevin McHale had already pissed away Minnesota's first rounder that season, as it was owed to the L.A. Clippers along with Sam Cassell in exchange for the mesmeric insignificance of Lionel Chalmers, along with Marko Jaric and his bevvy of minge. The pick, however, had top ten protection, and so in order to be able to keep it, Minnesota had to lose with a bit more regularly and finesse than they were doing up until that point.

They did this with aplomb, telling Kevin Garnett to stop playing (or so we thought), playing their better players for merely token minutes, and letting their worse players do whatever the hell they want, in what then-head coach Dwane Casey called "letting them have some fun" (read: "playing really badly so that we lose".)

The fact that they met an equally tanking Memphis team, who were tanking for a different reason, was an unfortunate coincidence. Memphis had comfortably made the playoffs, but was trying to lose for a different reason - they were residing in the fifth spot, with the Clippers in sixth. Whoever finished 5th would face the 60-22 Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs, without homecourt advantage, but whoever finished 6th would face Denver with homecourt advantage. After *accidentally* losing four of their last five games, the Clippers secured the worst (and, thus, the best) seed, in spite of Memphis's valiant efforts on the final day.

(The Clippers then beat Denver comfortably. The Grizzlies were swept by Dallas even more comfortably. Memphis were right not to want it.)

The whole exchange highlighted two key flaws in the NBA's system - the new playoff system and the protection of draft picks. The playoff system has been somewhat resolved, as the possibility of a team finishing lower down the seedings than a team with an inferior record has been decreased with the new decision to grant division winners no less than a top four seed, as opposed to a guaranteed top three seed. But the other situation remains intact, with lottery teams able to lose at will to either retain traded picks, or better their lottery chances. And it remains a travesty based around a communist idea of parity.

(The draft lottery isn't a million miles away from what Stalin was trying to do. Remember that.)



At this point, this post would benefit greatly from a well thought out and heavily critiqued suggestion for a better way of going about these things, so that such a deplorable situation won't ever happen again. (The concept of teams deliberately trying to lose is still prevalent - Miami, for example, has told Dwyane Wade to stop playing, and Memphis recently gifted away Pau Gasol just to take them out of purgatory.) However, as mentioned at the top, this post had a mere three minutes of thought, and so I haven't got one.

Any scenario in which teams are deliberately losing, though, is a gaping flaw in the otherwise well-constructed NBA machine. Therefore, it gives me something to bitch about. And so, I did. Quietly. To myself. For about three minutes.



Coincidentally (and it really was), a report came out on this very day (note: this note was not published on the day that it was written, which was the 18th) on the subject of Minnesota's recent tanking.

Responding to claims that his team tanked it down the stretch in recent years to improve draft position, Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor fired a barb at Kevin Garnett on Tuesday, as reported by Yahoo.com.

Taylor pointed out that Garnett, who was traded to the Celtics this offseason, took himself out of the lineup late last season and missed the last five games with a sore right quadriceps.

“It was more like, I’d say, K.G. tanked it,” Taylor told the Pioneer Press. “I think the other guys still wanted to play, but (the loss of Garnett) sure changed the team and didn’t make us as (good).”

While the quote may have been taken out of context, or Taylor had not necessarily said what he meant, it does sure as shit look like he is trying to pass the blame onto this entire situation onto Garnett's shoulders. This hardly seems entirely fair, given the Madsen situation that inspired this post. But it DID lead to me googling Glen Taylor's name, and thus seeing for the first time a picture of his grin.


I thought I should share that with you.

Send Antoine Walker to the All-Star Game

As Wordsworth once observed, "the child is the father of the man". I am now a man, but was once a child. However, while I am now a man, I am still a child inside. So maybe that sneaky bastard was onto something when he said this.

As a childish man, I play childish games. I have childish dreams, and childish tendencies. And one thing I've always wanted to childishly do is send a scrub to the All Star game.

I'd like to now make this a reality. In the NBA's overzealous attempts for parity, they tend to include some crap players on the ballot to give fans of all teams someone to vote for.

They've toned it down a bit from how it used to be, when the ballots were bigger. But still, some mediocre (or bad) players creep up onto the ballot every year. And we should capitalise on this.

Here's the players on it:

http://www.nba.com/news/ballot_071113.html

You can also submit write-in votes for players not on it.

The online voting doesn't exist yet, but when it does, each person is allowed to vote multiple times for whoever they want. This easily abusable system got Yao Ming voted in as a starter in 2002 when he didn't even nearly deserve it, because the whole of China voted for him.

It's the right time for that system to be abused again.

Antoine Walker would be best for this, because he is the worst player on the ballot by a mile. Currently nailed to Minnesota's bench, and never any good anyway, Walker is a stand out name on there. He's also fat, funny, and would believe in his own heart that he was there on merit, not as the result of a joke. He's also listed as a guard, which improves the probability of Tony Parker not making the team, And that's another positive side effect.

If we were to choose a real scrub like Thomas Gardner or somebody, we'd all have to submit write-in votes, and most people are too lazy for that. If it involves merely clicking, then we can make it happen. That's why a name that is on the ballot has to be chosen.

So what we need to do, when online voting comes around, is to vote for Walker many millions of times so that he is voted in as a starter. And I mean maaaaaaany times. As often as you can. Tell your friends, get them to do it.

This NEEDS TO HAPPEN.



If you want to go balls out and vote repeatedly for the Ridnour/Walker/Szczerbiak/Scola/Brad Miller Western lineup, please do.

30 teams in 56 or so days: Minnesota

Players acquired via free agency or trade:

Greg Buckner (acquired from Dallas)
Michael Doleac (acquired from Miami)
Antoine Walker (acquired from Miami)
Theo Ratliff (acquired from Boston)
Ryan Gomes (acquired from Boston)
Al Jefferson (acquired from Boston)
Sebastian Telfair (acquired from Boston)
Gerald Green (acquired from Boston)



Players acquired via draft:

First round: Corey Brewer (7th overall)
Second round: Chris Richard (41st overall)



Players retained:

None



Players departed:

Mark Blount (traded to Miami)
Ricky Davis (traded to Miami)
Kevin Garnett (traded to Boston)
Trenton Hassell (traded to Dallas)
Troy Hudson (bought out)
Mike James (traded to Houston)
Justin Reed (traded to Houston)
Bracey Wright (left unrestricted, signed in Greece)



Bobbins:

You probably want me, or expect me, to burn the shit out of Kevin McHale in this space, as I have done so many times in the past. But it's not going to happen. I actually think he's done a nice job this offseason, all things considering.

The reason I say "all these considering", is that McHale has done a rather nice job of restructuring a team that, apart from New York, was about the hardest possible team to reconstruct. With multiple long and bad contracts (you can see their almost-accurate payroll of last season here), and also with first round draft picks still owed to Boston and the Los Angeles Clippers, the Timberwolves were roundly fucked. With only a couple of young players worth a damn and with only superstar Kevin Garnett providing any value worth a damn, McHale had only one option - to trade Kevin Garnett and start again.

He could have gone the other way, signed a veteran, and made another playoff push, hoping that the impossible would occur and that the Timberwolves would suddenly have enough firepower to rival the West's best teams. That would have been a really stupid thing to do, though, It was also a really stupid thing to do last year with the Mike James signing, and it was a pretty stupid thing to do the year before with the Mark Blount trade. So thankfully, he and ever so slightly intrusive owner Glen Taylor didn't go this route again. If he had done so, euthanasia may have been justified.

Everyone seems to believe, though, that the Timberwolves did not get nearly enough in return for Garnett. KG's value isn't what it would have been had this move been made two years ago, but it was still very high. Critics, professional or otherwise, seem to believe that Minnesota did not get nearly enough in return for Garnett. They received Al Jefferson (one of the best young post players in the game, and incidentally, the upcoming winner of this season's rebounding title, and if you disagree then you're just wrong), Gerald Green (wildly overhyped prospect whose option they did not then exercise, bringing the hype back down to Earth), Ryan Gomes (useful role player), Theo Ratliff (massive expiring contract), Sebastian Telfair (far smaller expiring contract with a very outside chance of being a Marcus Banks type reclaimation project), and two first round picks, one of which was being returned to Minnesota after Boston got it in the Mark Blount/Wally Szczerbiak deal thing.

Let's put that into context. In other recent superstar trades, here's what transpired:

a) Miami trades Lamar Odom, Brian Grant, Caron Butler, first round pick (used on Jordan Farmar), second round pick (moved onto Dallas, turned into the insatiable Renaldas Seibutis) to the L.A. Lakers for Shaquille O'Neal (which would have been a decent return had the Lakers not then gifted Butler to the Wizards for Kwame Brown, a player who they didn't need then nor now).

2) Houston trades Steve Francis, Cuttino Mobley and Kelvin Cato to Orlando for Tracy McGrady, Tyronn Lue, Reece Gaines and Juwan Howard (basically horrific for Orlando).

3) New Jersey trades Aaron Williams, Eric Williams, Alonzo Mourning and two first round picks (one used on Joey Graham, the other dealt to New York and used on Renaldo Balkman) to Toronto for Vince Carter (unmitigated shitness regardless of circumstance).

4) Denver trades Joe Smith, Andre Miller and two first round picks (one traded to Miami and used on Daequan Cook with Jason Smith going the other way, the other dealt to Portland and used on Petteri Koponen) to Philadelphia for Allen Iverson and Ivan McFarlin (um, OK).



Now you tell me what historical precedent tells us about superstar's returning value in trades. It ranges from mediocre to freakin' awful.

And now tell me again why the package Minnesota got of a premium young player, big financial savings, two first round picks and a couple of potentially useful peripheral parts is such a bad thing.

In addition to the big trade, Minnesota made several smaller ones. In trading Trenton Hassell for Greg Buckner, they traded a player who was reportedly a right moanarse in the locker room, who had a big contract and who wasn't very good anyway, for a lesser player who doesn't moan and who has a lot less guaranteed money coming his way for fewer years. Trading Mike James for Juwan Howard again got them a player with less guaranteed money over fewer years, and buying out Troy Hudson's third partially guaranteed year again turned a three year contract into a two year one while losing no playe rof any significance (it's been a theme). And in the Mark Blount and Ricky Davis to Miami trade, Minnesota managed to again trade a big contract with three years remaining (Blount) for one with only two left (Walker), while also getting a first round draft pick in the deal.

It's only a shame that they couldn't swap Mark Madsen for Adrian Griffin or somebody. They could have then completed the set.





Next season:

If you're going to flounder and die, you might as well do so with some purpose to it. Nothing about the Timberwolves recent history offered up much in the way of hope. Since McHale began disbanding the 2003-2004 team (arguably the league's best team that year) with such heroic ineptitude that he just had to keep his job for three more years - using such tactical masterstrokes as trading Sam Cassell and a first round pick for Marko Jaric, and the previously mentioned Wally Szczerbiak trade - Minnesota has witnessed one subsequent year of frustrating mediocrity, and two years of something worse than that. In those two years, complete tank jobs have had to be pulled just so that the franchise was able to keep the pick it had originally given up to the Clippers for Jaric in the first place, and they won 65 games combined over the last two years for this reason.

It wasn't going anywhere, and with two first rounders owing and only two young players (Chris Smith and Randy Foye) worth a damn, they weren't getting out of the 35ish win range any time soon.

So they finally blew it up. And I'm glad. You should be, too.

It's just gone so tits up for so long basketball wise, that it's just refreshing to see things go rather well for a change. The dream of Garnett playing his whole career in Minnesota was still held by some, which has led to fall out, but it shoulda been shot to shit a long time before now. If it had, maybe those last two years need not have happened. In one offseason, Minnesota transformed itself from a team in transition going from bad to worse, into a team that may one day go places.

Of course, they might not. They are still led by the insatiable pairing of McHale and Taylor, who are always liable to fuck things right up in ways you never previously thought conceivable (Mark Madsen's still got three years left, by the way. I thought this needed highlighting twice, you see). But if they can stave off their compulsion to destroy everything (by the way, Two For The Money starring Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey isn't THAT bad of a film if you stop it at the hour mark), Minnesota might start headed places again some day soon.

There's a good chance that this new look lineup tops out in a few years at the 40 win barrier that the franchise just traded Garnett to get away from. Still, they can but try.

Transactions explained

For those wondering how or why two of today's transactions took place, I'll explain a bit:


Number 1:

   New Orleans trades David Wesley to New Jersey for Bernard Robinson, Mile Ilic and cash considerations. New Orleans then promptly waives
them both.

Wesley's contract is for one year at $1,750,000, but only $250,000 of it is guaranteed, which is why it's been passed around twice in the coming months. New Jersey traded two meaningless players on guaranteed contracts for Wesley's unguaranteed one in a bid to cut payroll, which will happen when they cut Wesley. They haven't done it immediately because there's no reason to - with the $250,000 guarantee, Wesley is essentially costing them for a short time, so they can keep him to explore trade possibilities. As for why New Orleans did it, we can only assume that New Jersey gave them enough money to make it worth their while, but it really does cement once and for all the fact that they flat old sold Cedric Simmons. And that deal still remains odd.


Number 2:

   San Antonio trades Beno Udrih to Minnesota for a protected 2008 second round pick and cash. Minnesota waives Udrih immediately.

Same sort of thing - San Antonio needed to shave some off their cap figure, so they dealt Udrih to Minnesota (Minnesota used part of a trade exception to absorb his salary), and gave the Timberwolves enough money to cut him for no cost, plus a little bit more on top for their troubles. The pick Minnesota gave up is havily protected, and so they probably won't lose it.


Updated salaries to be upped shortly.

Actually, no, it pissed me off a great deal (re: NBA in London)

The following note is too long.

People have repeatedly asked me what my thoughts are/were concerning the NBA preseason game played this Wednesday in London. I'm not actually from London, living about 30 miles north of the city's northernmost point. But it's close enough to count, and as close as the NBA is ever going to get to me.

So I will share those thoughts with you now.

I did not go to the game. I originally intended to, but even from several months in advance, I could not seem to get any tickets. I don't care about Boston or Minnesota, but I just wanted the NBA experience, and to be in the same room as this sport and these athletes who I spend a ridiculously huge amount of my life following. There's also maybe an outside chance that I get to hump Fred Hoiberg's leg, so that would be another good reason for going. But alas, it wasn't to be.

My friend Michael tried to sell me his ticket, but I couldn't take him up on the offer. He's well off, and I'm not. He had a good seat, and I could only afford a nosebleeder. So that wasn't an option.

I was therefore stuck with watching the game at home. That wasn't an altogether unpleasant experience, as it marked the first and only time I've been able to watch a live NBA during normal daylight hours from the comfort of my bed. It's only a minor victory, but I'm a man of simple pleasures.

However, being able to do this had its consequences. For those unaware of how this works - which is probably most of you - there's incredibly little coverage of the NBA whatsoever over here in the wonderful island nations of Great Britain. Our basketball leagues themselves are shite, and there's almost no following or foothold for the sport.

In 1997, a terrestrial (meaning free) TV channel was launched called Channel 5 (now simply known as "Five"). One of the channel's earliest features, which has survived to this day, was the concept of having live American sport on throughout the night. They began with baseball, screening ESPN's Sunday and Wednesday Night Baseball games live, along with an occasional but extremely rare showing or two of This Week In Baseball. They also had some hockey, picked up some small NFL coverage (major satellite channel Sky Sports also has some of this, for it is the biggest of the major American sports here), and picked up NBA coverage just a couple of years ago.

Their coverage of the sport features a live game every Tuesday night, with a taped run of NBA TV's highlight show thing played beforehand. It's not much, but it's all that we've got, and so we run with it. The internet is a great resource for us hardened and pathetic fans, but this is all we get TV wise. It's not a lot.

What they do provide, though, is reasonably well done. The in-studio pairing of Mark Webster and Andre Alleyne doesn't offer much in the way of knowledge (Webster is the ultimate utility player, who can present any type of sports show, and who also seems to find radio work as a music, movie and "lifestyle" critic, yet he hasn't watched any basketball since about 1994), while Alleyne knows everything about the British basketball scene but not the NBA. Nevertheless, they provide good comentary and entertainment, play to their strengths, and don't get above their station. The game itself is just a replayed feed of the ESPN/NBC game itself, using American commentary. Which is probably safest.

However, in the run-up to this event, Five have made a bit of an effort. Adverts have run for a few weeks in advance, and they even cobbled together a preview show.

What they did in these adverts, though, annoys me intensely. So much so, in fact, that I did something that I've only done once before in life - I wrote a complaint letter.

I won't go into details, for most of it is outlined below. But basically, Channel 5 insulted our intelligence and potentially half of their viewership by adveritising the NBA brand to only black youths and wiggers. I'd go into this in more detail in this space, but as you're about to see, this post is way too long as it is. So I won't.



Anyway, onto the game itself. Here's what I noticed:


- During introductions, which went on for an overly long time as every single scrub managed to get his name announced, Kevin Garnett absolutely stole the show with a ridiculously long ovation. People in this country don't know anything about basketball, and those that do know merely only the basics (more on that later, re: Darren Bent interview). I firmly believe that I'm the only hardcore fan around. So you can imagine how greatly it disappointed me when Mark Madsen got one of the most underwhelming receptions of anybody. What? Why don't people know and respect who Mark Madsen is? Bastards. I'll have to change this.


- The game started with Boston playing reasonably well on both ends, and with Minnesota having absolutely no offensive strategy whatsoever. However, they hold the lead for almost all of the first quarter, as Ricky Davis is taking (and hitting) everything he can get his hands on. A sequence towards the end of the quarter is extremely indicative of the entire Ricky Davis Experience - off a Boston miss, Davis brings the ball up on a 2 on 5, goes behind the back to evade a gamble for a steal, then pulls up and shoots a three with no one in offensive rebounding position. He makes it. The crowd goes "yay!".

On the next possession, he shoots a 30 foot three in rhythm with 21 seconds left on the shot clock. He does not make it. The crowd does no go "yay!".

Thus starts and ends your entire Timberwolves offense so far without Al Jefferson (who, for some bizarre reason, is starting on the bench, as are all the regularly scheduled Timberwolves starters other than Davis and possibly Ryan Gomes. So it was nice of them to bring their A-game to this one-off sporting event of great importance in a country that really needs to see the cream of the crop to make the sport catch on. Thanks for that, Randy Wittman).


- The experience of this decidedly mediocre game featuring two wildly mismatched teams is awkward enough, without it having to suffer from sloppy presentation. But it does. All NBA basketball coverage in this country is played in with the American audio feed, like I said earlier. But if it's a British Basketball League game, or some Eurobasket/ULEB Cup games, the same commentator does every single game. I've never learned his name other than "Roy", and I don't like him, So it fills me full of dread when I find out that he is the play by play commentator for this game. I'm not going to enjoy this.

Sure enough, within minutes, he fluffs his first name. Struggling for words after a Minnesota miss, Roy stumbles out this seminal phrase:

"And the rebound there.......by the big fella.....number 55.......whose name is.........Estebaaaaaaan, Basteeta!"

He took so long over looking up the guy's name that Brian Scalabrine (who is apparently going by the name Scallerbreen tonight, or so says our Roy) has had to time to run down the other end and clank a jumpshot. And when Roy does stumble upon the right name, he gets it wrong anyway.

Someone give me this fucking job. Do it now.


- One thing Roy does have going for him, though, is that he is a honky. This isn't necessarily a positive, and nor would being black necessarily a negative. But in relative terms, it's a rare and beautiful thing. As outlined above, Channel 5 has apparently decided to try and appeal to one extremely specific market, like a minority insurance broker would. But they didn't stop at the aforementioned adverts - they decided to black out the entire lineup of presenters. While still featuring the regular studio pairing of Mark Webster and Andre Alleyne (one of each there), the sideline reporter for this game is wheelchair basketball star Adrian Adepitan, and in the in-studio special guest for the game is DJ Jazzy Jeff, of all people. Jeff's inclusion in the show is extremely pointless, although he does OK. But Adepitan, while he brings plenty of energy and enthusiasm to the proceedings, doesn't exactly endear himself to the masses. Again, more on this later - racial intergration is going to be something of a subplot to this post.


- Back to the game, and Tony Allen has subbed in. The first two seasons of Allen's career were marked by decent defensive play and athleticism, but incredibly shoddy offensive skills. Without any real ball handling skills and with a bad jumpshot, Allen would turn the ball over a lot, and didn't exactly fit in fluidly with any schemes the Celtics put him in. However, for a two month cameo last season, Allen seemed to have turned the corner, with vastly improved dribbling skills, improving his scorng efficiency roughly tenfold. His knee then blew out, and his season was over. So now that he has returned, is he the Tony Allen of old, or the Tony Allen of old? (If that makes sense. Which it doesn't.)

Based on the incredibly small sample size offered up by this first quarter, it's the old Tony Allen that we see before us, not the reformed Tony Allen. He looks......bad. So here's to small sample sizes - the ultimate ignorance conraceptive.


- Considering this game was a sell out months in advance, there's a ridiculously large number of empty seats in this o2 arena, which wasn't particularly big to begin with. This annoys me. It's a similar problem to what the English Football Association is having with national games in the new Wembley Stadium - corporations and men in suits buy the tickets as a novelty rather than due to their passion for the sport, and then they don't turn up. The same happens in the front row of every year's World Snooker Championship Final. It's stupid. It also appears to have happened here, and so despite the organiser's best efforts to replicate the usual NBA product with unnecessary mid game music, cheerleaders and other such stupid shit, the place lacks atmosphere. Inbounds plays are accompanied with a deathly silence, and you can hear Kendrick Perkins run around shouting on defense. It's eerie, and very unpleasant.

If the NBA had put a better product on the floor tonight (and if Randy Wittman put his best product on the floor), people would focus more on the game. Then they might have a good time. Then they might want to watch it again some day. And then they might become fans of the game. Just a wild strategy I'm throwing out there.


- Towards the end of the first quarter, after a highlight play, the camera pans briefly to a shot of the Minnesota bench. A player who I can't identify (may have been Chris Richard) is seen standing in front of the bench, with no warm-up top on, but with his warm up pants jacked up extremely high. The resulting Simon Cowell-esque trousers look, combined with the garish colour clash of the jersey versus the warm-ups, made him look incredibly stupid. This needed pointing out.


- Another weird facet of this game is that both teams are being treated by the crowd as the home team, getting whooped and cheered in equal measure. The ringside announcer does likewise, shouting names such as Ricky Davis and Brian Scalabrine with similar enthusiasm. This is an odd experience that I've never had before. But it's not necessarily a bad one.


- Kendrick Perkins opened the game with an isolation play that resulted in him making a nice fallaway jumpshot. Since then, he's missed The World's Easiest Layup, flumped around awkwardly, tried to make a putback off the shot clock, and hasn't exactly oozed offensive efficiency. Still, he's alongside Kevin Garnett. It's not that important that he scores, really.


- By this time, Minnesota's lack of offense from anyone not called Ricky is proving to be a going concern. They finish the first quarter ahead, but only because Davis has 16 of their points. No one else has done anything of note, with the exception of surprise starter Theo Ratliff, who has 4 points (one off of an isolation play), and who looks like the Theo Ratliff of old. More on this later, because it's too baffling of a thought at this moment.


- When Minnesota comes off the court to end the quarter, the cameraman (who suffers from a bad case of the shakes all night) once again pans to the Minnesota bench. Juwan Howard comes off the bench to greet the players coming off the court, and puts his arm around Gerald Green, doing the Mr-Miyagi-Daniel-san thing for which he is there. He slaps Gerald on the arse. Then he rubs his arse in a circular motion. Then he slaps it twice more. This didn't need to happen. The athletic bumslap NEVER needs to happen. But if you are ever compelled to do it, just do it once. Anything more and it turns awkward. Juwan has proven this.


- Esteban Batista has grown his hair into a rather fluffy fashion. It doesn't make him look very menacing. Someone needs to have a word.


- Oh by the way, I forgot to mention something. At the top, when I was rambling about commentator Roy McWonderface and the all-black lineup surrounding him, I neglected to mention Roy's (ironically named) colour commentator. The choice for tonight's broadcast is former NBA scrub Steve Bucknell, a man whom you've either never heard of, or whom you confused for the international cricket umpire of a very similar name. The reason I forgot to mention this is that Bucknell has barely said a damn word throughout the entire broadcast to date. This, however, is a good thing, because it doesn't take long to transpire that he is really bad. He may know the game of basketball fairly well, but he, like Roy, does not know anything about any of the NBA players on show. Nevertheless, Buck is a trooper, and after Eddie House comes in and knocks down a three, Bucknell offers up this golden nugget:

"Eddie House is good."

Yep. Thank you Steve, you champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?

Bucknell also delivers his lines in a monotone and yawn-enducing fashion. But more on that later, too.


- Gerald Green walks around between plays with a snarl on his face and an unnecessarily gangster lean in his walk, rivalled only by that of Tampa Bay Rays starting pitcher J.P. Howell. I'm not sure I like it. At least look a bit happier with your life. You're a millionaire for bouncing a ball around, your life could be worse.


- By the way, Violet Palmer is still Violet Palmer.


- A broken play winds up with the ball underneath Minnesota's basket, in the hands of Esteban Basteeta. The fluffy headed one sells an ever-increasingly elaborate series of up fakes to try and get his defender, Craig Smith, to bite. Smith does not do so, and the reason he does not do so is probably because the fakes were the most unimpressive ones since the days of Anthony Mason. Perhaps Batista should put those toys away now. Or just tone them down slightly. No pump fake should start from the knees and end up with full skyward extension. That's just overkill.


- OK, seriously? To quote Iain Dowie and Twiztid at the same time, Theo Ratliff's bouncebackability is off the chain. He looks younger, he is moving with a freedom not seen since his brief cameo with Portland immediately after his trade from Atlanta, and he's once again trying to block everything with varying degrees of success. He has also demonstrated at least three offensive moves. It's wild stuff. At this point I wish I was able to say something like "if Ratliff has a bounce back year, and Juwan Howard's second wind continues, then don't sleep on these young, talented Timberwolves this season". But I can't. Neither could you if you'd just watched them in that first quarter.


- This is the first game that I have ever seen Corey Brewer play. He has been absolutely unredoubtably awful. His awfulness was highlighted by a wide (wiiiiide) open corner three that hit the side of the backboard. Probably best to just scratch this game of his from my mind and pretend it didn't happen.


- Shave off the beard, Al Jefferson. I know a thing or two about shit beards, for I own one. And you, sir, have a shit beard.


- Roy The Commentator surpasses himself, calling Marko Jaric "Maric" twice on two straight possessions, and then calling Rashad McCants something too unspeakably funny to type here. I wish I could believe that this was on purpose, for it would make me like Roy more. But I can't. He's just that much of an idiot.


- Speaking of McC*nts: serious knee injury aside, has this guy improved any since his first year? All I see is the same one dimensional wild-jumpshot-jacking player as before. I'd quite like that to change. I think Minnesota would quite like that to change, too. He also chews his gum with way too much gusto. It's nice to have a bit of passion and energy in your life, but this shouldn't be the way that he chooses to express it. The gum chewing is so loud, and the arena is so quiet, that we can hear it on the broadcast.


- In my free hand notes, I have written this:

"gerald green has no idea what he is doing"

I can't remember what it references exactly, but I stand by it.


- 7 minutes left into the second quarter, and Minnesota's jumpshot airball count stands at 4. None were worse than Brewer's miss from the corner, athough Ryan Gomes had a very short range shot that he put way too much mustard on that was also pretty ugly. Amazingly they're still winning, despite Boston playing better on both ends of the floor. And it was all because of Ricky Davis's lucid moment.


- Coming up to half time now, and sideline reporter Ade Adepitan has landed us four sideline interviews with celebrities thus far. Those four have been West Ham United footballers Anton Ferdinand and Carlton Cole, Chelsea star Didier Drogba, and Simon Webb from the boy band Blue.

What do those 4 have in common?

(Hint: do a Google image search. And remember what I said earlier about subplots.)


- During a timeout, action cuts quickly back to Webster, Alleyne and Jazzy Jeff in the studio. Alleyne conducts a brief interview with Jazz, whom he calls "Jeff". I thought that was noteworthy. Anyway, Webbo asks Jeff who the best celebrity basketball player is. Jeff responds with "R Kelly's pretty good". Hmm, OK. Not the story I heard, but OK.

Webster then says that he wishes he was R Kelly, then quickly retracts it. Probably best.


- You know, I might like Boston this year. I have no reason to dislike them (apart from James Posey), yet historically I always have. I think it's because I'm naturally adverse to the colour green. This year, though, they have acquired Garnett and Ray Allen, as well we know. This now gives them three eloquent superstars with some semblance of personality and intelligence. I look for these characteristics in basketball players, and Boston now has it. I like that. They also have Scot Pollard.....

....and I'll leave that sentence hanging so that you can finish it to suit yourselves.


- Tony Allen needs wart surgery on his left shoulder. That thing is disconcerting.


- I'd just like to say that I love the fact that Brian Scalabrine is in this league. The only thing that makes me happier than being able to root for him day in and day out, is the fact that he's not on my team. Much like kids falling over in car parks, it's great fun when it happens to somebody else.


- Roy called him Marko Maric again. For God's sake. How hard is your job, Roy? Couldn't you have spent at least 15 seconds learning these things before the show started? Jesus H.


- By the way, speaking of Marko Maric, he's not playing very well today, but I'd dearly love to have him on any team of mine. That is, if he wasn't on a 6 year $40 million contract. And since he is......screw it, Minnesota can keep him.


- Steve Bucknell comes out with his second sentence of the game immediately after Roy says Maric, leading with the opening gambit "this Marko guy". There you go, Steve. At least you dare not try to overcome your ignorance. Sensible to stick with what you know.


- Eddie House ("good") makes a nice no-look pass to a cutting Basteeta for a dunk. The move is instantly replayed, as Roy announces it as being the "E.A. Spoots Go-To Move". So apparently his inability to talk properly stretches beyond just the players names. Hmmm. Maybe he's just caned or something.


- Oh God. Now Lewis freakin' Hamilton is being interviewed. We're now 5 to 0 on the Celebrity Sideline Interview Black Vs White ratio counter. And something tells me we're not quite done yet. It isn't even half time.


- Minnesota is playing absolutely terribly to end the first half, and finally relinquishes their lead, as Boston goes on a quick 13 point turnaround. Worringly, Minnesota is playing their normal bench lineup at this moment, which spells danger for the upcoming season. You should never read too much into preseason, but, if this is the best offensive continuity that they can manage with opening night only three weeks away.......there's going to be tears.


- Marko "Silvio" Maric is at the free throw line. Before he shoots his first shot, Roy lauds Marko's free throw shooting abilities, using the descriptive phrase "absolutely outstanding" to describe them. Marko then promptly misses the first. Has anyone done any scientific research on this commentator's curse thing? I swear it exists. Truly. Someone make this happen.


- In one run-on sentence spanning 8 seconds, using incredibly long vowel sounds, Roy The Commentator said, and I quote:

"Oh look at that dunk, by Paul Pierce! Excuse me, it's Kevin Garnett inside!!! I'll
say that again, it's Kendrick Perkins!!!!!!"

Sweet God. End it now.


- Half time is upon us, and Channel 5 lays on a whole host of nothingness to celebrate this fact. There is an obligatory Luol Deng montage which always accompanies any NBA footage in this country (and I'm totally fine with that), and some more talking with Jeffy Jazz. All Jeff seems to know about is the Philadelphia 76ers, and all his answers lead back to that subject soon enough. Before long, that's where the questions start off at, too. Additionally, British national basketball team head coach Chris Finch joins the studio crew at the half, improving the white American count by a tune of one, bringing the total up to....um, one.

As if on cue, Ade Adepitan has landed a brief interview with Brian Scalabreeeen on the sidelines. Ade opens the interview by saying "They call him Veal", and you've never seen a man's face turn from happy to livid faster than Scalabrine's did at that moment. He maintained this scowl all the time that Ade was prattling off his questions. But when it was Brian's turn to talk, he resumed his consistently chirpy nature. Scowl, smile, scowl, smile, scowl, smile. What an interview. I reiterate my previous sentiments about Brian Scalabrine. Ledge.


- The second half starts, and Juwan Howard is wearing a protective face mask. I can't remember seeing if he wore this in the first half. That's how inconsequential he was. I don't think he did. Either way, it doesn't suit.


- Not long into the second half, and Kendrick Perkins, starting from outside the three point line from straight away, dribble drives to the rim and makes a no-look hand off pass for a basket. I only have one question - where in the hell did that come from? And will it ever happen again? Oh wait, that's two questions.


- Minnesota's first field goal in the second half involves getting the ball to Ricky Davis 20 feet from the hoop, facing away from the hoop, and with everyone else clearing out. Ricky holds the ball for 5 seconds before taking a contested fallaway. It goes in. The crowd goes "yay!". That's the Ricky Davis Experience, folks, coming to a three point line near you.


- Roy calls Theo Ratliff, "Ratcliffe". I am currently priming a rifle.


- Minnesota is continuing their absolutely terrible run of play, one that began back in the second quarter. Boston seems to get a hand on every one of their passes, the Celtics have numerous breakaways including two-on-none's, and the Timberwolves have no offensive flow whatsoever. That said, they've amazingly looked better today when Sebastian Telfair has run the point. And believe me when I say that is not an endorsement of Sebastian Telfair.


- And just like that, speaking of Telfair, he leaves his feet to pass the ball and throws up a wild shot on a subsequent drive. So he's still Sebastian Telfair after all. It's a shame how little this boy has done so far with all the opportunity in the world.


- After a foul stops play and no continuation is called, Jaric shoots a shot towards the rim anyway. Garnett leaps up and blocks it just before it hits the rim, in that way that so many people like to do when the game has stopped. That seems like an activity fraught with danger to me. Maybe not as much danger as, say, nude luge on a sled made of porcupines, but still pretty dangerous. A goaltend is just around the corner. Has anyone been caught out doing this before? I need feedback on that.


- Sebastian Telfair makes a drive to the rim and hangs in the air, finishing beautifully with the left hand. Did I just do the commentator's curse in reverse? Hey, I rhymed. Cool.


- Ray Allen hits a 20 foot jumpshot, which prompts Roy The Commentator to exclaim, "Ray Allen has answered his critics here tonight". Ray Allen had critics?


- Juwan Howard's mobility, always poor, is even worse tonight. He moves gingerly and slowly, not able to get up and down the court faster than Dick Bavetta on the sidelines. And with that mask on, he also looks really silly doing it. Not a good sign here for Minnesota, as Howard remains a complete non factor in the game. The only thing he's down was give Green that cheeky rub up. Still, even a non-existant Juwan Howard is better to have than the net negative that was Mike James.


- Kendrick Perkins misses the first of two free throws, and I think I know why. He doesn't glance towards the rim until the very split second before he releases the ball. I can't see how you can get a decent scope of the distance when doing that. You might want to try looking for a bit longer, Kenny.


- Perkins makes the second. I'd like to think that I've made a difference here today.


- Kevin Garnett has looked quite bad on offense in this game. He's out of sync, a situation not helped by him not getting any touches. Despite being guarded by Juwan Howard and Ryan Gomes for long periods, the Celtics don't seem to have done much with that advantage, and Garnett has barely seen the ball. The rest of his game is all there tonight, but the team's sharing of the ball on offense isn't down pat yet.


- Right on cue, Roy says after a KG rebound, "Kevin Garnett is having an outstanding game". He has 5 points and 6 rebounds at that moment, midway through the third quarter. But I don't blame Roy for saying that. I think he was contractually mandated to say it, given that the only reason that 12,000 of the 18,000 people that are here for this game are only here because they know about Garnett, and the same is probably true of the majority of the viewers at home. (By the way, the empty seats have slowly filled, which is a relief.)


- More from Roy after a Garnett travel: "They haven't a problem with travelling any more in the NBA". Um, really? I think you'll find it may be the complete opposite there, Royster. The only reason you don't see as many travel calls any more is because they don't call them, not because they don't happen. Yeah, we really need to get a real NBA commentator in here. I'm free and willing.


- After that Garnett travel, he gets the ball on the two possessions immediately afterwards. On the first one he shoots an off-balance airball, and on the second he travels again. Definitely a bit of a mare for him tonight, on a night when an entire nation tuned in to watch him. And by "entire nation", I mean like 400,000 people.


- Roy, please stop pointing out the difference between NBA and FIBA rules. It's not like any of the viewing audience out there now the FIBA rules in the first place. And besides, your own grasp of the NBA rules is not that hot.


- Heh. Another interview. This one with another footballer, Aston Villa midfielder (and scourge of my fantasy league team) Nigel Reo-Coker. This whole "only interview black people" thing stopped being a joke a while ago.

In his interview, Nigel says without prompting, "I'm into basketball, obviously", then follows it up with "this is the first game I've ever been to".

Therefore, explain why it's "obvious"? Is it because you are black? Yes, yes I think it is. That's what Channel 5 wants us to learn from this. You're black! You like basketball! Watch our basketball shows! Genius marketing. Genius.


- Roy starts getting a bit too comfortable, and cites that Ray Allen was called for "illegal use of the feet, in the form of a foul". Not sure that terminology is going to catch on there, Roymond.


- HOLY BALLS! A Mexican wave at an NBA game! This baby has some life left in her yet! Maybe this is the moment that basketball was truly discovered in Britain. I love this country. We'll show those darn Yanks how to spectate at sporting events, by God. Someone get drunk and inflate a crowd sized beach ball, like at the cricket. We run this shit now.


- Another travel called on Garnett. But never mind, he'll be subbed out in a minute. Doc Rivers hasn't gone 17 deep yet.


- Minnesota is down 12 at the end of the third quarter. On their first possession of the fourth quarter, Roy says that they are in a "must score situation". Funny, I thought that they were only down 12 with 12 minutes left. But then, what would I know. I ain't a patch on ol' Roy here. Please don't invent drama. Thanks.


- On Roy's advice, Minnesota begins the fourth with some of the best play that they've put up so far tonight. Once again, they look better when Telfair is running things. Although maybe that's more due to the House/T. Allen/Posey/Scalabreen/Basteeta lineup that Doc Rivers is giving a rare but beautiful airing to. Yeah, actually, it's that.


- Follow up point on Batista - ever since he was signed by the Hawks back in the offseason of 2005, I have tracked his progress intensely, and watched almost every minute he played over the next two seasons. Don't ask me why this was, because I don't really know. In that time, I saw nothing of note, other than a good rebounder without an NBA calibre game. The Hawks seemed to agree, leaving him unrestricted this summer. However, after the FIBA tournament (of which I did not see a single minute), everyone waxed lyrical about his awesomeness and all-around skills. I didn't see any of his play in this tournament, nor did I see much skill in his time at Atlanta. But I shut my mouth and chose a path of skepticism.

Tonight's performance has reaffirmed my stance here. He's not good.


- Sideline interview number 7 is with Ashley Walters, who apparently is a big name in the British music scene (what would I know, I listen to bluegrass). He, too, is black. But Adepitan teases us beforehand saying (I shit you not):

"Just to show that we're not totally biased, we're showing someone that isn't....."


........black? Nope........


"......a footballer."

Way, way, way beyond a joke now. Basically, Ade is just interviewing his friends. No, really, he is. You should see how well they're all getting along. Well, except Drogba. And he's just a miserable bastard anyway.


- To follow up on that, you have to understand that I'm not offended by the stream of black people being interviewed just because they're black. Not at all. It's just that it is just really irresponsible for Channel 5 this to not just allow this blatant niche marketing to happen, but also to actively push for it. I'm well aware of the fact that basketball is a big name sport in black communities, and that the majority of players at the top level are black. But there's a reason black people are considered an ethnic minority in this country - it's because there are fewer of them. So by focusing solely on them (oh you are, don't front like you aren't), you're freezing out the majority. And it's not a good idea for a TV channel to freeze out the majority viewership of something they're trying quite hard to make a success. I'm just saying. Make the show appeal to everybody, and see who sticks around. It's not that hard.


- Corey Brewer finally did something right, getting a steal by trapping on the baseline. Then he ran into Violet Palmer and lost the ball. Yep, I'll definitely just disregard this outing.


- Right on cue, Brewer hits a mid range jumpshot. Yay! Start of big things for the boy.


- Midway through the fourth quarter now, and someone seems to have handed Roy a memo on how to pronounce Scalabrine, for he finally gets it right. He then calls Gabe Pruitt "Gabby", and does so for the rest of the game. Shoot me now. No, wait, shoot Roy now.


- The resident court mopper for this game is a man with a big pile of towels. Oh dear. I guess us plucky Brits haven't quite got this NBA thing down yet. Give us time.


- By the way, throughout all this, Craig Smith is still the don. Minnesota has not put up a good showing, largely due to them airing out a few lineups that we'll never see again. But Smith has shined, despite not being particularly effective on offense. Chris Richard, too, has done OK in his limited minutes, and despite currently being the 16th man on a roster of 15 guaranteed contracts, I think Minnesota knows full well that they have to somehow fit this guy in. If they waive him and keep Mark Madsen, it's not exactly going to be easy for McHale and Taylor to prove that they know what they're doing. That's a battle that they've been losing for a few years already. Now would be a good time to turn it around. Don't make a good pick and then lose him.


- I've said it before, but it bears repeating - this colour commentator Steve Bucknell is absolutely awful. Right now it's even weirder than before. As this game draws to a climax, and the atmosphere really picks up, Bucknell's dulcit tones and slow delivery have gotten even worse,and his volume level has gone down. He's now basically whispering. The only advantage is that he's hardly said a word. Someone please get the Jon Champion/Richard The Director's Assistant pairing from the 2000 Olympics coverage back. They had it going on. Alternatively, borrow some knowledgable Yanks for one night only. I bet Kevin Calabro would have done it, and he's sublime.


- The 8th and penultimate sideline interview is with another black footballer. This one is with Darren Bent, the Tottenham Hotspur (booooo!) and England (yaaaay!) footballer. Things get off to a great start when Ade Adepitan introduces him as Darren Brent, a slip that seems to go unnoticed. Also, Ade brings home what I was saying earlier about both interviewing his friends, and also going for the black appeal thing, as he utters the timeless phrase "that top is blinging, blood".

Again, it doesn't need doing. I appreciate that that's how you talk, Ade, and I'm totally cool with that. I have friends from London too. But it's just another example of the problem here - it's making it harder for white folks to get into the program when it's so constant like this. Let's find a middle ground, eh?

The interview also starts with another teasing line, when Ade opens with, "just to show we aren't biased, here's a non-West Ham player". Ho ho ho, once again I thought he was going to say "a white person"!

And it also features stunning insight such as this:

Adepitan: "Who's your favourite player out there today?"
Brent: "Lebron."

Awesome. Five consistently rolling out a quality product.


- Corey Brewer misses two foul shots and then commits a silly foul to complete his bad day, and Doc Rivers goes for it with the full bench lineup over the final 5 minutes. This bench lineup includes Glen "Big Baby" Davis, who absolutely schools Chris Richard on a baseline spin immediately after entering. Davis then proceeds to shine for the final few minutes, which is great fun for one simple reason.

Normally, whenever an NBA game enters garbage time, at least one player of the ten on the floor at the end is a cut above the rest. He's only in there because the team can only have 12 active players a night, and therefore has no more scrubs to offer up. So this one player gets a chance to shine in the final few moments, and the fact that they are so much better than everybody else becomes quickly apparent. Such a situation has arisen here with Davis, who is by far and away the best player on the court for either side. But Marko Jaric thinks HE is this player, and is playing accordingly, shooting sweeping hook shots and fallaway jumpers. He misses them all in due course. You're not doing yourselves any favours here, Marko.

This also marked the first time I ever caught on to the irony of Glen Davis playing in the McDonalds High School game. Hooray for me!


- We just have time for two more snippets of Roy before the final whistle sounds on a comfortable Boston win.

1) After Glen Davis hits a jumpshot: "if Davis doesnt have a contract, he's trying to get one". Come on now Roy. It's a simple matter of record. Just fucking ask me if you want to know. I'm available to help.

2) Starting his summary, Roy again says "Garnett has had a fabulous game here". He really hasn't. Really! It's easy to follow the commentary textbook, isn't it? Now do some proper work.



- At the end of the game, the 9th and final interview takes places. It is with grime and hip hop artist, Dizzie Rascal.

Kill me now. It's not worth the fight any more.




I think I have more passion for the NBA game than the rest of this country combined. A little passion goes a long way. But when combined with the "ins" that I've cultivated in recent years, plus my talkiness and habit for stupid metaphors, I firmly believe that I could single handedly begin to raise the profile of the sport in this country.

And perhaps I ought.

I just don't know how to go about it.