Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 40

- Let's start this off with a bang; I have absolutely nothing to report on Wesley Person. Nothing whatsoever.

- Continuing that sizzling opener, Brent Petway is in the D-League, averaging 10.5 points, 3.9 rebounds and 2.1 blocked shots a game for the Idaho Stampede. Strangely, those numbers were somehow enough to make him a D-League All Star, and you can see the boxscore for the D-League All Star game here. (That minutes distribution is first class. I'd love to know what Richard Hendrix did to merit those extra 5 seconds.) Petway also lost his D-League Slam Dunk Champion title to James White, so it's not been a good fortnight for him.

- The last I heard about Eric Piatkowski came in the summertime, when an article talked about he was staying in shape and waiting for the phone to ring. I'm guessing it hasn't rung.

- Tim Pickett has had a busy year, starting in the Italian Serie A with Rieti, but leaving before the season began. He then moved to Bulgaria with Lukoil Akademik, and averaged 17.9 points and 3.9 rebounds in Eurocup play for them. Unfortunately, he was a victim of their sweeping cull of international players midway through the season, one which also brought about the demise of Kehnide Adeleke and Kevin Kroogs. Pickett has since signed in China, with Shanxi Zhongyu, as the replacement for Bonzi Wells. By now, you should know what it means when somebody signs in China, and by God you won't be disappointed here either - Pickett currently averages 39.9 points, 8.2 rebounds, 3.5 steals and 3.2 assists per game. OK, so the assists numbers are a tad low, but he's averaging 40ppg for Shade Sheist's sake. Who the hell should he be passing to?

- Kevinn Pinkney is with NGC Cantu in Serie A, averaging 14.4 points and 6.8 rebounds a game. Foolishly, though, he continues to insist upon his own three point shot, and is shooting only 29.8% on the year from three point range, while shooting 47 three's to 125 two's. This is a trend with Pinkney, who as far as I can tell has only shot above 30% from three point range once in his entire basketball career, that being last year when he shot 33% for Angellico Biella. (That 50% success in his NBA stint doesn't count. Two shots doth not a sample sizeth make.)

- Danilo "J.R." Pinnock is playing for a team in the Italian second division, whose name as far as I can tell is "Pallacanestro Seven 2007 Roseto 1946". Catchy. Here's Google Translate with the rest of the J.R. Pinnock news:

Last external quintet is the American Danilo Pinnock Jr. Player of talent and high technology, is not exactly a guarantee in terms of choices and application. His performance was influenced heavily discontinuous season biancoazzurri. 16.7 points and 4.5 rebounds for the media to him.

All good information.


- You've probably heard the story about Kevin "Ca$h Money" Pittsnogle that has recently done the rounds. But if you haven't, here it is. Also, if you haven't seen what he wore to his wedding, here's that too.

- Trent Plaisted, second round draft pick owned by the Pistons, is signed with Angellico Biella in Italy. He has not played since October, though, due to back troubles. Plaisted totalled 10 points, 4 rebounds and 8 fouls in the two games that he managed to play in.

- Zoran Planinic never fitted in the NBA, but is now a fine backup point guard for CSKA Moscow, averaging 8.9 points, 2.3 rebounds and 3.1 assists in Russian league play, alongside 8.2 points, 1.8 rebounds and 2.7 assists in the Euroleague.

- Question: is Pavel Podkolzin good yet? Answer: nope. Pavel is playing for Sibirtelekom-Lokomotiv Novosybirsk, a team in the Russian second division, and if you can make sense of this jizz then you can see what he averages. He's number 23, and as far as I can tell, he averages 7.2 points and 4 rebounds. In the Russian second division. Hmmm. Lots of people do that, and none of them get drafted in the first round of the NBA draft. That turn-of-the-century European influx got a bit overzealous, didn't it?

- Finally, Scot Pollard is sitting around looking at the phone with Eric Piatkowski.

Also, if you missed it, these last ten days or so were a minefield for arrests of past and present NBA players. Firstly, Nets big man Sean Williams was arrested for trespassing, after violating a restraining order and returning to the Boston College campus, the school that he was previously kicked out of. Suns guard Jason Richardson was then arrested for doing 90mph in a 35mph zone, while also having his three year old son in the back of the car not in a proper child safety seat. Then Celtics guard Gabe Pruitt was arrested for DUI after driving around Hollywood at 3am while tanked up after a loss to the Clippers. Former Bulls and Bucks forward Tommy Smith was then arrested for kidnapping and assault after punching his girlfriend and breaking her nose after leaving a party. (Not sure where the kidnapping came into it.) And then most impressively of all, NBA journeyman Damone Brown was arrested on Thursday as a part of an FBI operation to bring down an entire drug trafficking ring. Brown was charged with money laundering, after supposedly leasing out the safety deposit box tha a local drug kingpin was using to stash his proceeds in. Unsurprisingly, Brown was then kicked off of his D-League team, the Reno Bighorns. (Giggidy.)

Good times.

Summer signings, round 26

This post was written a million years before it was posted.

- Alexander Johnson has signed in the German league for Brose Baskets, so his life is basically over. (Hah! Not really, German people. Or Alexander Johnson. Or Alexander Johnson's agent. Just a little running jokes we have here. It's hilarious every time, I promise you.)

- San Antonio signed Desmon Farmer and Devin Green, to go along with their previous signings of Anthony Tolliver and Darryl Watkins . Not a bad foursome, that. Giggidy.

- Donell Taylor is to join the Bobcats for the training camp, because you can always find a use for a guard that can't make a layup or a jumpshot or pass or run an offense or do anything to an average standard on the offensive end. Or at least, I think that's right. It must be, because Lindsey Hunter keeps getting work.

- How much Eurelijus Zukauskas news is too much Eurelijus Zukauskas news? Well, since we've had none ever, I think we're still some ways short of our limit. So here I am, announcing to you that E-Zook has re-signed with Zalgiris, in his native Lithuania. (If you don't know who Eurelijus Zukauskas is, I'm generously going to tell you - he's a really big and really slow Lithuania centre who the Bucks drafted back in the mid 90's, and whose rights they still own purely as a technicality. He's like Arvydas Sabonis was in his dying days, only inferior. See! Now you've learnt, and now you can discuss him with your friends. However, I sincerely hope, but can't guarantee, that they'll still by your friends afterwards.)

- Also, how much Bulgarian league news is too much Bulgarian news? Quite frankly, it's limitless. So here's some Bulgarian league news - the mighty and insatiable Tim Pickett has signed with Lukoil Akademik, a team in the Bulgarian League. Don't tell your friends this one, though. Make it our little secret.

- Lawrence Roberts signed with Red Star Belgrade, a basketball team in Belgrade, whose team logo has a red star in it. It all makes sense when you break it down and analyse it in its most basic form.

- Matt Freije is to join the Bucks for training camp, because you can never have too many jumpshooting power forwards with weak rebounding rates. Oh, wait, yes you can. By the way, there are a lot of jumpshooting power forwards who do the rounds in the NBA these days - Freije, Malik Allen, Pat Garrity and Steve Novak to name but a few. However, almost all of them are one dimensional players who offer nothing else. Nick Fazekas, however, can also rebound to go with his jumpshot. So why's he the one on the outside looking in? He's going to get a spot with the Nuggets training camp this year, but we all know he's going to be waived, because Denver like to keep costs down. This is injustice. Add Nick Fazekas to my new campaign list (to be announced shortly).

- Mustafa Shakur signed in Spain with Tau Vitoria Ceramica Saski Baskonia (delete as applicable), where he'll replace Goran Dragic, if Goran ever completes his buyout and signs with Phoenix.

- The whistlestop Ronald Dupree World Tour Of The NBA now includes Cleveland, where he'll sign for training camp, and then be cut from.

- This article, dated September 9th, implied that Sam Cassell was to sign a new contract with the Celtics soon. But he hasn't. Make of this what you will.

- Denver rounded out their roster by signing second rounder, Sonny Weems. The subject of Weems has come up a few times now, and I've still got nothing interesting to say about him. Instead of trying, I'll cop out and not bother.

And now, ladies and gentleman, Mr Conway Twitty.



(Possibly the most amusing backing band that I've ever seen in my life.)

Summer signings, round 24

- As the old saying goes, no news is good news, except when there's no news about Alain Digbeu. But thankfully, there now is some! Huzzah! Digbeu has signed with Kavala Panorama in Greece, the team that also just signed Cavaliers guard Billy Thomas from off the street. Insert flippant comment.

- Speaking of the Cavaliers, the guy that Cleveland signed at the same time as Thomas - forward Kaniel Dickens - has signed with Napoli, where he'll sign heads and flavour bounces with the best of them.

- Still speaking of the Cavaliers, they also signed their second round pick this year, Darnell Jackson. The latest season of the British version of Big Brother featured an albino black guy named Darnell and, for those who can't imagine it, here's what an albino black guy looks like:


Thus marks the first and only time Big Brother will be referenced on this website. Christ it's bad.

- Sebastiani Rieti is another Italian team, apparently one with problems getting Americans to like them. In recent months, the club signed both Donnell Harvey and Tim Pickett, but both players have already been dumped by the team. Pickett's contract was voided by the team after he twice told them he had arrived in Italy when he hadn't, and Harvey was kicked off the team for "disciplinary" reasons before even playing a game for them. Donnell Harvey also failed to turn up for the Bobcats summer league team this year citing a "family emergency", so things haven't gone quite right for him of late. To replace either or both of these players, the team has already signed Roderick Wilmont, and is (or was) expected to sign Ricky Minard, which is great news if 2004 Sacramento Kings second round picks is your thing.

- Arvydas Macijauskas was waived by Olympiakos after breaking his foot. Man. They're strict in Europe. Hurt yourself? You're off the team. Tough break. Tough on injuries, tough on the causes of injuries.

- Marcus Slaughter has signed with Bremerhaven in Germany, a team not named after J.R. Bremer's pubes, despite how it may appear.

- And finally, the Golden State Warriors remain busy. After drafting Kosta Perovic back in 2006, the Warriors then waited a year before signing him to a three year contract that ranged somewhere between 5 and 6 million dollars last offseason. Twelve months and ten points later, that experiment has already ended, as the Warriors waived Perovic so that he can sign a three year contract with Pamesa Valencia of Spain. Once again, Chris Mullin gets away with his own mistake, and us salary people are excused from making excuses for Kosta's weird salary. In addition to this move, the Warriors signed two scrubs for training camp named DeMarcus Nelson (because Marcus is never enough) and Rob Kurz.

They also signed Dion Dowell, but you knew that already.

Where Are They Now? Part 29

Gary Payton says he's done. I hope he's right.

Anthony Peeler played briefly in Spain after his NBA career ended, but that was three years ago now.

Ben Pepper is in his native Australia, playing for the Townsville Crocodiles. I am not sure that he's ever left Australia in the 9 years since he was drafted.

Wesley Person is D-U-N done.

Brent Petway is playing for the Idaho Stampede of the D-League, where he averages 7.2 points, 3.8 rebounds, and 1.5 blocks a game.

Tim Pickett averages a whopping 21.2 points and 5.1 rebounds for a not partciularly good Italian team called Aget Imola.

Kevinn Pinkney is playing for Angelica Biella in Italy. If you've been paying really close attention and have a fantastic memory, you will remember that others plays for that team include Keith Langford, Brandon Hunter and B.J. Elder. So, something for everybody there. Pinkney averages roughly 13 points and 7 rebounds a game, while he also remains unable to spell his own name.

J.R. Pinnock averages just less than 15 points and 4 fouls a game (not a typo) for Kolossus in Greece, alongside Curtis Stinson, also known as "50 Cent".

Kevin Pittsnogle is playing for the Albuquerque Thudnerbirds of the D-League, for whom he averages 15.7 points and 6.2 rebounds. But, more importantly, this is what Kevin Pittsnogle wore to his own wedding. This is the kind of information that you need to know. It also bears mentioning that someone out there is now know as Mrs Pittsnogle.

Zoran Planinic is in his second year playing for Tau Vitoria in Spain. He averages 10.1 points, 3.2 rebounds and 3.0 assists a game.

Pavel Podkolzin, who you could flatteringly describe as "a mis-step", is back in Russia playing alongside Lee Nailon for Lokomotiv Novosybirsk. I have no dull stats here, so just assume he's still crap.

Olden Polynice seems to have finally accepted that retirement is the best move for his 44 year old arse.