Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 26

In the previous post I talked about Hawks draft pick Sergiy Gladyr, but did so while omitting a potentially interesting/amusing piece of information. Gladyr has not played since Valentine's Day, when he left a game against Meridiano after only 9 minutes with an injury and never returned. The injury is a broken hand, one which Gladyr suffered by punching an advertising hoarding. Maybe he was feeling a little unloved that day. I feel your pain brother.

Additionally, the recent surge of Chinese Basketball Association related material has brought a variety of feedback, much of it useful, some of it banal, some of it sweet and sincere, some of it douchey. With that feedback in mind, here are some points for clarity;

1) Tim Pickett has returned for Shaanxi, and played the last three games. In those three games he has posted 50 points and 8 rebounds, 30 points and 8 rebounds, and 39 points and 8 rebounds. He has continued to shoot really really really ridiculously well from the three point line, going 14-20 over that three game span. But Shaanxi have lost all three games anyway because that's how much they suck right now.

2) A number of people pointed out that Bayi are the team affiliated with the Chinese army, which is why they have no import players. I didn't mention this because I thought it was no longer the case. I knew it used to be, hence all that furore with Wang Zhizhi a few years ago , but I thought they'd moved on from that. At the very least, they had changed the name. But I guess not.

3) No, I didn't actually think Ding Jinhui the snooker player and Ding Jinhui the Zhejiang Cyclones big man were the same person. And no, I didn't actually think Li Xiaoxu the Liaoning centre and Ling Xiaoyu the fictional midget female Tekken schoolgirl were the same person. These may have been jokes. C'mon son.

4) Mengke Bateer does not average 25ppg, contrary to other published media. The Coconut Killer averages 13.4 points, 95 rebounds and 4.1 assists.

5) The amount of minutes that foreign players can play combined in a game has increased during the season from 60 to 72.

6) As for how much import players get paid, read this.


And now for some random people.


- Mike Green

Regular summer league starlet and Butler graduate Mike Green is in Belgium, stuffing the statsheet in that way that he does. He is averaging 15.3 points, 4.4 rebounds, 4.0 assists and 2.0 steals for Liege, the current Belgian league leaders. The points rank 6th in the league, the assists 4th, the steals also 6th. Green is shooting only 25% from three point range, but everything else is all there.



- Taurean Green

Despite rumours of their impending bankruptcy in the summer, AEK Athens managed to sign Taurean Green this summer. And despite the alarming regularity with which American players leave Greece midseason, Green is still there, as are Torin Francis and Lamont Mack. AEK must have found some cash from somewhere. On the season Green is averaging 33.3 minutes, 15.4 points and 3.7 assists per game, all team highs.

He likes ham.



- Orien Greene

After spending last year in Holland, Orien Greene has returned to America and is playing for the Utah Flash of the D-League. His numbers there are very Orien Greene like; 15.7 points, 4.9 rebounds, 3.7 assists, 2.7 steals and 4.1 turnovers per game. Utah run a bizarre three point guard lineup with Greene, Gabe Pruitt and Kevin Kruger (it used to be a four point guard lineup until Dontell Jefferson got injured) and yet even with all that help with running the offense and bringing the ball up - two things Greene was never that good at - he still can't stop turning the ball over. Greene has 36 turnovers in his last 6 games, and that comes as a starting shooting guard. It's tough to explain.



- Lynn Greer

Lynn Greer left Olympiakos in the summer as a part of their rebuilding, and moved to Turkey to join Fenerbahce. There, he is averaging 12.8 points and 2.2 assists in 20.8 minutes per game in the Turkish league, alongside 11.6 points and 2.0 assists in 21 minutes per game in the Euroleague.

Greer is a shooter. Here he is proving that.




- Vincent Grier

Grier signed with the Washington Wizards for training camp, although since they have more than enough players at 6'5 or below, he had no chance of making the team. After being released, Grier spent a month on the shelf before moving to Turkey to join Mersin, where he replaced Richie Frahm. Frahm is a shooter, and Grier is very much not a shooter, as evidenced by his 59% free throw shooting and no made three pointers, in accordance with prophecy. Nonetheless, Grier is doing OK, averaging 11.2 points and 3.8 rebounds per game. However, he has not played since February 13th.



- Adrian Griffin

Griffin started last season as a member of the Bucks roster, happily reunited with Scott Skiles, the man that loves him more than anything else in the world. However, just before the regular season got underway, the Bucks waived Griffin in order to open up a roster spot with which to claim Justin Frazier off of waivers. Griffin therefore retired as a player and became an assistant coach under his boo. 18 months later, he's still there.



- Rob Griffin

No-no-no-notorrrrrrrrrrrious former Iowa layer Rob Griffin has been out of basketball for over a year. He last played for the Minot Skyrockets in the CBA (the American CBA, not China) back in December of 2008. However, neither the Skyrockets nor the CBA exist any more, which has pissed on those chips. No matter how hard you look for him, he is impossible to find on the internet after this time.



- Rashard Griffith

1995 Bucks second round draft pick Rashard Griffith never joined the NBA, even though his draft rights were traded to the Magic for those of Jamal Sampson seven years after he was drafted. Did Orlando think Griffith was going to join them in the summer of 2002 or something? If not, why did they do this trade, since it seemes to have had no other component parts? Don't know what happened here.

Griffith's rights are still owned by the Magic, although that doesn't mean anything any more. He is into his third season with Ploiesti in Romania, averaging 8.2 points and 4.9 rebounds per game. Ploiesti are a EuroChallenge team, which is why they're the only Romanian team that you've ever heard of. Kevin Burleson also plays there.



- Anthony Grundy

After a couple of years in Greece, former Hawks guard Anthony Grundy has moved to Italy to play for Carife Ferrara. He is averaging 18.5 points, 2.5 rebounds, 2.4 steals and 2.2 assists per game, making him the second leading scorer in Italy. Not a bad effort for a man who turns 31 next month.



- Dan Grunfeld

If Ploiesti is the only Romanian team that you've ever heard of, then Dan Grunfeld is the only Romanian player that you've ever heard of. The Stanford graduate and former Knicks training camper is the son of besieged Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld, and Ernie Grunfeld was born in Romania. Therefore, Dan was eligible for a Romanian passport, one which he received last year in order to enhance his European career. Having it means he counts as a European player now and not as an American, for teams have limits on the numbers of Americans they can have. Except, seemingly, for Belgium. They either don't have a limit, or the limit is 158.

Grunfeld helped C.B. Valladolid earn promotion from the LEB Gold to the ACB last season, and is currently there for his second season. He's nto playing much, however, averaging only 5.5 points and 2.4 rebounds per game.



- Tom Gugliotta

Googs last played in 2005 with the Atlanta Hawks, for whom he averaged 7.9 points and 5.5 rebounds in 27 games. He then retired due to the persistent problems he had with his knee, and with the other injuries that led to, such as back complaints. He now plays a lot of golf, and is a member of the Georgia Hole-In-One club. Giggidy.

(Also on that list is a man called Gaylord Hunt. Best name ever? Best name ever.)

Tom Gugliotta is 40 years old. You feel old too now, don't you?



Finally....

- Naked, Athletic

USC graduate Daniel Hackett has taken his Italian passport (born and raised there) and gone to Italy, where he is playing for Benetton Treviso. Benetton haven't had the best of seasons; they were knocked out of the Euroleague early and have also been knocked out of the Eurocup, and they rank a mediocre 8th in the Italian league. Hackett is finding it very difficult to score in the Italian league, averaging only 4.8 points in 20.5 minutes per game and with only 1 double figure outing in 19 games. He averages an additional 2.1 rebounds, 1.8 assists and 1.4 steals per game, yet he also averages 3.1 fouls per game and is shooting 28% from three point range. As first professional season's go, Naked Athletic is not doing too good.

Summer league round-up: Chicago Bulls

View the Bulls summer league roster.

- James Augustine: Something weird happened to James Augustine last year, something which took me a while to figure out. He was drafted by the Magic in the 2006 draft, and signed a two year rookie minimum contract with the team. He stayed with the team for the whole two years, barely playing, and was then tendered a qualifying offer when the two years was up. The second year of his first contract was only 25% guaranteed until July 30th, and the rule with qualifying offers is that they have to be at least the same amount of guaranteed money and the same guarantee dates as the final season of the previous contract. So when Orlando tendered him a qualifying offer, Augustine accepted it immediately, and was thus under contract for the 2008/09 season for $972,581 (the amount of the QO = minimum salary + $175,000), of which $243,145 (25%) was guaranteed, witha guarantee date of July 30th 2008. Orlando waived him before that date, meaning that they essentially paid Augustine a quarter of a million dollars to have him under contract for two weeks in mid-July. Way to do that "creative financing" thing that you do, Otis Smith.

Augustine then buggered off to Spain, where he averaged 7.7 points and 6.1 rebounds in the Spanish league for Gran Canaria. Which isn't great.

- Tyrell Biggs: I saw a lot of Biggs in Pittsburgh last year, and it's tough to say what he was good at. He had a decent set shot, but little interior offense, no finesse, and a bad rebounding rate. He was a decent defensive player, fairly aggressive and physical, but he's also 6'8 and not of NBA size, so his NBA chances don't really exist. However, I wrote all this in a piece last week, and someone responded by telling that I "didn't know anything" and that I should "just shut up," for I did not acknowledge Biggs' magnanimous and gallant willingness to sacrifice all personal goals for the overall benefit of the team, something which he supposedly did by being a role player for four straight years. Or something like that. I guess one of us is right, at least.

- Brandon Costner: I watched Costner play one game last year. This is what I wrote about him:

Brandon Costner never seemed to know what he was doing, disappearing for long stretches, and then trying to force his way back into the action with some poor shots.

That can't be good. Costner averaged 13.3 points, 6.0 rebounds and 1.0 blocks in 29 minutes per game for NC State last season, which isn't that great and which isn't nearly as good as what his 17/7 sophomore year suggested he might become.

- Chris Davis: Davis averaged 14.8ppg, 4.3rpg and 3.1apg for Southern University last season. He shot 41% from the field. He's not making the team. Let's move on.

- Taj Gibson: Gibson will make the team, no doubt, but he's going to have to play bloody well to win over Bulls fans, who remain bitterly pissed off at him for not being Dejuan Blair. (And if you've read my draft diary, you'll know that I'm one of them. I'll back off of this stance soon, though.) If he can show some offensive skill, some pick and roll defense, and the ability and/or desire to rebound, then we will begin to cope accordingly.

- Taurean Green: Green spent one year in the NBA, splitting the 2007/08 season between Portland (the team that drafted him) and Denver (who traded him for Von Wafer to save some money at the deadline). Denver traded him to New York last summer as a part of the Renaldo Balkman deal, but New York wanted him only for his salary and he was waived instantly. Green then spent last year in Spain playing for CAI Zaragoza, averaging 10.7 points and 2.0 assists functioning largely as a specialist shooter. The Bulls could use a specialist shooter, which gives Green a chance, but they also already have Anthony Roberson, which might piss on Green's strawberries.

- Julius Hodge: Hodge was playing like LeBron James in Australia last season, averaging 26.3ppg, 8.0rpg and 6.0apg for the Adelaide 36ers, before leaving the team due to a pay dispute. That was his version of events, at least; his team doesn't necessarily agree. Although given Australian basketball's current problems with solvency, I tend to believe him. Either way, it ended acrimoniously, and Hodge closed out the year in France, averaging 12.4ppg, 5.7rpg and 6.1apg for Besancon in France. His shot is still completely broke, though - he hit only two three pointers combined in the Australian and French leagues (who employ the shorter three point line, remember), and was also a combined 55% shooter from the free throw line between the two. This probably keeps him out of the NBA once again.

- James Johnson: He's a power forward that's not Tyrus Thomas or Taj Gibson, so I like him already.

- Linton Johnson: Johnson was a signing for the Bulls late last season as some emergency playoff depth, and played a few minutes decently. He started his career with the Bulls, and was way less cringeworthy with us this time around than last time, so that was nice. However, he doesn't have much chance of coming back to the team - Luol Deng's return from injury, as well as the draftings of Johnson and Gibson, just took any potential minutes that the old Lintonian could have had.

- Nick Lewis: Lewis has been a professional for three years, and has spent at least parts of all three of them in the D-League. Last year, for the Bakersfield Jam, he averaed 15.0 points and 7.2 rebounds, while shooting 48% from the field, 38% from the three point line and 83% from the foul line. He also has a nice full head of blonde hair. If he could play any defense, he might have had a shot in the NBA before now. But he can't. So he hasn't.

- Lorenzo Mata-Real: Mata-Real played on the Lakers' summer league team last year, as did about 48 other people, where he challenged Ruben Wolkowyski for the "worst player I've ever seen" award. Mata-Real averaged more rebounds than points in two of his three seasons in college, not a good thing when you consider that he only averaged 4 rebounds. In Mexico last year, Mata-Real averaged all of 9.0 points and 5.3 rebounds, and remember that that was in the crappy Mexican league. He's a 6'8 interior player to boot. Where's the NBA resumé here?

- Bryan Mullins: Mullins, a good defensive guard with a jumpshot, was briefly covered in the Celtics round-up. Then again, I didn't really say anything there either.

- DeMarcus Nelson: Nelson has an unguaranteed contract with the Bulls next season, even though he didn't play in a single game with them last season. He was brought in at the very end of the year as defensive cover at the shooting guard position in case of emergencies, but wasn't needed. The Bulls are supposedly renewing their focus on defensive abilities with their personnel this season, and could as always use a bigger defensive minded guard. So Nelson has a chance of making the team again, unless his lack of offensive talent is deemed too painful on a team that was never great at offense in the first place just let its leading scorer for the last four years walk away in free agency. (It still stings a bit, this. Although I wouldn't have paid him $11.6 million a year either.)

- Anthony Roberson: I fleshed out Roberson's chances of making the roster in this Chicagonow.com piece. And remember; you can catch all Bulls news and views, including Anthony Roberson goodness, at chicagonow.com. Go go go go go! (Seriously, though, go. If you do, I'll get paid.)

- Josh Shipp: Shipp just finished his fifth season at UCLA, getting a medical redshirt in 2005/06 due to a bad hip injury. In his senior season, he averaged 14.5ppg on 50% shooting, which is pretty damn good from a shooting guard. Despite having not seen him (I have UCLA games that I keep meaning to watch), everyone tells me he should have been drafted. So that's nice for us, I think.

- A.D. Vassallo: Consdiering that the Bulls need shooters (see the Roberson link), Vassallo has a chance. Vassallo averaged 19.1 points, 6.2 rebounds and 2.6 assists in his senior season for Virginia Tech, shooting 45% from the field, 37% from three point range and 83% from the line. His major assets are his good size and strength, and a jumpshot that has legitimate NBA three point range. Since leaving school, Vassallo has been back in his native Puerto Rico, averaging 2.5 points, 6.7 rebounds and 4.3 assists for Caguas in the Puerto Rican BSN league (which takes place during most other league's offseasons). If he was 6'8 he'd probably in the league, and if he was as fast as John Salmons he'd probably in the league. But he's neither of those, so he's not in the league. Europe will love him, though.

- Luke Zeller: Zeller did largely Fanny Adams at four years in Notre Dame, rebounding badly, playing little defense, and being a specialist jumpshooter. He turned a fine high school career (he was formerly Indiana's Mr Basketball) into an underwhelming college career; Zeller averaged 4.9 points and 2.8 rebounds in his senior season, both of which were career highs. He worked out for the Bulls before the draft, albeit only because Gonzaga's Josh Heytvelt missed a flight, yet went undrafted anyway. Zeller's NBA prospects are even slimmer his left leg. His best chance in the NBA seems to be if some team out there gets confused and thinks that his first name is spelt with a "Tyler" (his superior younger brother currently at North Carolina). Or if his last name is spelt with a "Schenscher".

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 20

- Joao Gomes averages 8.3 points and 4.4 rebounds for Leche Rio Breogan Lugo in the Spanish second division. You're probably wondering who the hell Joao Gomes is. So am I, honestly. In other, more important Gomes news, the Cincinnati Reds signed Jonny Gomes to a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training. Good luck Jonny. Savage everything you see. Both women and fastballs. Jonny Gomes = savage. The good sort of savage.

- Jamon Gordon was suspended by his German team, the Koeln 99ers, for going to America without permission. I think. (A user's blog comment also said something about Gordon trashing his flat, which seems like a weird thing to be suspended for, so I'll assume he did this afterwards.) His replacement is a man called Michael Jordan, and no I'm not making that up. Gordon averaged 13.9 points, 4.2 rebounds, 4.1 assists and 2.7 steals in his 9 games with the team.

- Jamont Gordon (not to be confused with Jamon Gordon, despite how blatantly easy that is to do) is signed with Fortitudo Bologna, the team also known as Upim Bologna and GMAC Real Estate Bologna, and formerly known as Skipper Bologna and Climamio Bologna, yet NOT to be confused with La Fortezza Bologna, which is another Italian first division team. Jesus, I wish these bastards would settle on just one name. All European people are stupid, I tell you. Gordon averages 11.3 points, 3.3 rebounds, 1.5 steals and 2.0 assists in Eurocup play, while playing alongside Gregor Fucka, whose name is still fun to type, even if it has been usurped by Lior Lipshits.

- Brian Grant (not to be confused with Briant Grant, who is someone that I just made up) retired over two years ago and hasn't been heard from since.

- Devin Green is signed in the Ukraine of all places, with Dnipro Dnepropetrovsk. Unfortunately, none of his team mates have funny names. Green averages 20.5 points, 7.8 rebounds and 3.3 assists, while being probably the best player in the country.

- Caleb Green averages 13.5 points, 7.2 rebounds and 2.3 assists in Eurochallenge play per game for Dexia's Midnight Runners in Belgium, along with 13.9 points, 5.3 rebounds and 1 assist in Belgian league play. You may remember Dexia Mons-Hainault (the team's real name) as being the team that was too good for Dion Dowell. Or you may not. Depends on how much you care.

- Taurean Green is signed with CAI Zaragoza in Spain, averaging 11.4 points and 2.4 assists.

- Orien Greene (not to be confused with Taurean Green, Torien Greene, Orient Greene, or anyone other than himself) is in Holland, playing for the immortally named MyGuide Amsterdam. Greene averaged 9.8 points, 4.4 rebounds and 2.6 assists in EuroChallenge play, and averages 12.9 points, 4.3 rebounds, 3.3 assists and 2.3 steals in the Dutch league. So there you have it; we finally found a league that can make Orien Greene look like a useful scorer.

- Lynn Greer is a starting guard on the Olympiakos team that leads the Greek league, and that continues to advance in the Euroleague. Greer averages only 9.6 points in the Greek league, but averages a team high 12.4 points in the Euroleague. Yet, supposedly, they want to bring in another guard (Jannero Pargo, Stephon Marbury) anyway. Seems odd.

- Vincent Grier is doing a bit of everything in the French league, averaging 9.8 points, 4.9 rebounds, 2.5 assists, 1.8 steals and 1.2 blocks a game for Cholet Basket. Grier also averaged 8.3 points and 3.2 rebounds in the EuroChallenge. Unfortunately, he hasn't hit a three all year in either competition, going 0-5 in total, and Grier is also a combined 35-63 from the free throw line in all competition this season. That's not getting it done as a 6;5 guy.

- Did they ever rule on whether Eddie Griffin's death was officially a suicide?

- Rob Griffin was recently cut from his CBA team, which can't make a man feel good.

- Finally, Adrian Griffin played all preseason with the Bucks, but then was waived just before opening night for Austin Croshere. Unwilling (or unable) to be parted from his sugardaddy, Scott Skiles, Griffin then immediately became his assistant coach, something that he's pretty much unofficially been for about four years now. Those two are so CUTE together! *hugs*

Summer signings, round 22

- A while ago, I helpfully wrote this.

Taurean Green is about to sign with some team in some country in Europe. And I forgot to write down who and where.

Well, I now know! Green has signed with CAI Zaragoza, which is a team in Spain. ShamSports.com - where uninteresting news is broken later than on other sites, and not very informatively at that.

- Oklahoma City signed Kyle Weaver, which gives them something they otherwise sorely lack - a shooting guard. (I mean, they have a looooooot of forwards. Desmond Mason and Joe Smith are only there as expirings, even though they are decent players. But even without them there's too much forward depth going on. This is making my great plan to pawn Cedric Simmons off onto them slightly harder to achieve.)

- There was a weird trade what happened, there be. Houston traded Patrick Ewing to New York for the draft rights to Frederic Weis. Houston did this for the same reasons that they traded Sean Singletary and Steve Novak before him - to dump salary so that they can re-sign Carl Landry and Dikembe Mutombo. But it must be pretty weird for Ewing Jr to be going to the team where his old man is revered as a bit of a legend, when he himself is going to struggle to make the regular season active roster. I can only imagine that that adds more pressure to a pretty desperate situation.

(Also, re: the Knicks - you trade away Renaldo Balkman because he doesn't "fit in", and then you trade for Patrick Ewing Jr. Hmmm. What did I miss?)

As for the hows and whys of Weis's involvement, read the bottom half of this page. I KNEW that writing all that bobbins would be worth it one day!

- And finally (yes, so soon!), Hapoel Holon signed Deron Washington, who will pair up with P.J. Tucker to form what no one is calling "The Wing Of Dreams". Speaking of Deron Washington, here is a list of all of this year's second rounders and what they've done with their lives, as well as possibly some nob jokes.



- Nikola Pekovic is signed in Europe, as well Minnesota knew when they drafted him. He has moved from Partizan Belgrade to Panathinaikos. He's also the eponymous star of a slightly pornographic Eastern European remake of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

- Walter Sharpe signed with the Detroit Pistons, and I forgot to tell you. Sorry.

- Joey Dorsey has not yet signed with the Houston Rockets, but he will do.

- Mario Chalmers has signed a three year deal with the Heat, who nevertheless have said that he won't be the starter next year. Which means that, by default, Marcus Banks or Chris Quinn will be. That can't be good. But it could be worse. It could be Stephon Marbury.

- DeAndre Jordan signed with the Clippers, as mentioned repeatedly already.

- Omer Asik isn't going to join the Bulls for at least two years, as he is signed with Fenerbache until that time. When he does join the NBA, he's probably going to be brilliant.

- Cucumber A Moute is signed with the Bucks and currently represents every decent defensive forward that they have.

- Kyle Weaver - look up, towards the bit where it says "Oklahoma City signs" and then where it says "Kyle Weaver" immediately afterwards.

- Sonny Weems is unsigned and recovering from hernia surgery. Will Denver sign him for camp? Probably. Do I have evidence of that? Nope.

- Chris Douglas-Roberts signed with New Jersey. I forgot to tell you this, too.

- Nathan Jawai signed with Toronto. I forgot to tell you this, too, too.

- Sean Singletary signed with Sacramento, then got traded to Houston, then got traded to Phoenix. Bobby Jones is worried. But Phoenix is expected to keep him now.

- Patrick Ewing also signed with Sacramento. Patrick Ewing also got traded to Houston. But, in a move that seperates him from the Sean Singletarys of this world, Ewing was then traded to New York. (Confusing, I know.) Look up for scorn.

- Ante Tomic......err, well, I can't find anything definitive either way, but I'd basically guarantee he's not signing this year. He's not signed a deal with the Jazz, and Kyrylo Fesenko and Kosta Koufos are already under contract. So why bring in Tomic? Who needs three tall European centres?

- Goran Dragic was the compelling protagonist of a "will he won't he" love epic that still hasn't entirely finished yet. It is said that he will sign with the Suns, but he hasn't done so yet.

- Trent Plaisted is signed with Angellico Biella in Italy.

- Bill Walker signed with the Celtics.

- Malik Hairston is unsigned and probably at least going to camp with the Spurs. I say that with nothing to back it up other than the fact that he's a Spurs draft pick who hasn't signed in Europe yet. If you have Malik Hairston news (I can find none! What the deuce!), fire it off below.

- Richard Hendrix signed with the Warriors way back in the day.

- DeVon Hardin signed with Belediyespor in Turkey.

- Shan Foster is signed with Juve Caserta in Italy.

- Darnell Jackson will be going to camp with the Cavaliers, which is a Python-esque sentence if you don't know what your NBA lingo.

- Tadija Dragicevic is staying with Red Star Belgrade (Crvena Zvezda) for at least one more season.

- Maarty Leunen is, according to the Rockets, destined for Europe. But Leunen hasn't signed there yet, perhaps hoping that the Rockets will miss Steve Novak more than they thought. If this wild unsubstantiated theory is in any way true......Maarty, don't bother going to Houston's camp this year. They'll just cut you. They can't even seem to fit Carl Landry in, for God's sake.

- Mike Taylor signed with the Clippers a good long while ago.

- Sasha Kaun signed with CSKA Moscow back on part two of this summer signings list. Bloody hell. That was ages ago. I'm still shooting for fifty, by the way, despite the fact that the news is drying up thick and fast. I'll invent it if I have to.

- James Gist has also signed with Angellico Biella.

- Joe Crawford signed with the Lakers already.

- Deron Washington - look up.

- Semih Erden isn't coming over this year. (Giggidy.)


As for the first rounders, everyone signed with their team, apart from George Hill (who should do, last I heard), and Serge Ibaka (who won't).

Hey look, only one cock joke!

Summer signings, round 14

- Good news: Bobby Jones was claimed off of waivers. Bad news: Miami did it. Why is this bad news? Because Bobby Jones has already spent time with Miami, and going back to a team that he has already been with doesn't help Jones's quest to have briefly been on the roster of every NBA franchise before the start of the 2010 season. So far, in 2 seasons in the NBA - and if we rather generously include the 2006 draft, as Jones's rights were traded that night - Bobby has spent times with the Minnesota Timberwolves, the Philadelphia 76ers, the Denver Nuggets, the Memphis Grizzlies, the Houston Rockets, the Miami Heat, the San Antonio Spurs, Denver again, the New York Knicks, and now Miami again. That's 8 franchises in 24 months, a rate that not even an in-his-heyday Josh Davis could match. So, Miami - do us a favour and trade him to Atlanta for his namesake Solomon Jones or something. Don't be selfish.

- Allan Houston wants to make another comeback attempt. Great. Good luck with that.

- The two remaining Oklahoma City unsigned draftees - DeVon Hardin and Serge Ibaka - have both signed contracts in Europe. Ibaka signed a three year contract with Ricoh Manresa of Spain, a deal which allows him to leave and return to the NBA after each year should he so wish. Hardin meanwhile signed with Belediyespor in Turkey on a one year deal. Neither signing is interesting.

- Earl Boykins has signed a one year, $3.5 million contract with Virtus Bologna in Italy, thereby making the remaining available point guard crop even worse. Not that the presence of Earl Boykins really did it much good.

- Filiberto Rivera has signed with Bamberg in Germany, thereby making the remaining available point guard crop even worse. Not that the presence of Filiberto Rivera really did it much good.

- For those keenly following the progress of Ivan Radenovic (if such people exist, I keep them well fed), Radenovic has upped sticks and moved to Greece, to play for Panellionios. If you couldn't be bothered to read previous posts on the subject of Ivan Radenovic, the Spanish team that he played for - Akasvayu Girona - extended his contract, and then went bankrupt, which was hopefully nothing to do with the size of Radenovic's contract. I'll miss Girona, you know. We got a few games of theirs on TV over here last year, and every time they were on, a staggeringly hot Spanish woman was the sideline reporter for the night. She spoke broken English in a hot accent, which just made the total package that much more enticing. You know how it is when women are so unbelievably good looking that it becomes impossible to rank their beauty when compared to other unbelievably good looking women? Well, she was one of them. So it's a shame that I won't be able to look at her talk four times a year for twenty seconds at a time A damn shame. And that's why I'll miss Akasvayu Girona.

- Jannero Pargo was reportedly on the verge of signing with the San Antonio Spurs, but now reports say that Miami has made a late bid for him. Since the Heat have spent most of their MLE on the unflinching duo of Mario Chalmers and James Earl Jones, the most that they can offer Pargo is the Bi-Annual Exception, which starts at $1.91 million, you have to wonder why Pargo opted out of the contract that would have paid him $1.976 million next year. Pargo has now opted out of his contract for two straight seasons, yet he remains unable to get the one massive paycheck that he's looking for. The chances of him signing a third straight two year contract with a player option, and then opting out after the first year, look impressively high. And that's got to be a world first. These are the things that I think about, by the way.

- Louis Williams re-signed with the 76ers, ensuring that they will have at least one shooting guard who will score more points than he will have attempted field goals. No, I haven't gotten over the Kareem Rush move yet.

- The Bobcats signed Shannon Brown, a move which doesn't seem to solve anything. By the way, if you are Shannon Brown, and you've just had your rookie scale contract cut down to only two years by Cleveland, and you're allowed to walk away unchallenged by your hometown Chicago Bulls, what reason would you possibly have for not joining on with a summer league team? Wouldn't it be a good idea to get in as much shwocasing as you can? This is what I would do, I'm pretty sure. (Note: if Brown was injured or otherwise incapacitated, therefore making my rant unjustified and ill-founded, please do not hesitate to keep that information to yourself.)

- The Rockets traded Steve Novak to the L.A. Clippers in order to save some money, so that they can try to re-sign Carl Landry and pay as little tax as possible. Or, ideally, none at all. It makes sense for Houston to dump the guaranteed money of an inconsequential player, but if someone could explain to me why the Clippers held onto Nick Fazekas for an unnecessarily long time, just to then trade for his older brother in Steve Novak, then please do that. Where's the vast gaping chasm of seperation between Fazekas and Novak, exactly? Is it a bigger or smaller gaping chasm of difference than the one that the Clippers saw between Jason Hart and Brevin Knight? An answer on those would be good, because I'm clearly not smart enough to get it. By the way, God bless Steve Novak. Class.

- Tarence Kinsey signed with the Cavaliers. Have I mentioned that Memphis waived Kinsey in preference to waiving Casey Jacobsen? I have. Will I mention it again? Probably. i just think it bears repeating, you know? The Memphis Grizzlies, everyone.

- And finally, what you've been waiting for - recently cut Nugget (so to speak) Taurean Green is about to sign with some team in some country in Europe. And I forgot to write down who and where.

What you've just witnessed, ladies and gentleman, is the work of an amateur. Be proud. Give generously.