Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 34

If you are reading this, thank you for your continued patience as we continue to work to fix whatever the hell the issue with this website currently is. We know that you have a choice of NBA websites, and that such choice includes websites far more functional than this one, even if they are inferior in all other ways. And for your continued loyalty to us through these difficult teams, we thank you. Keep hitting that refresh, and together we can conquer poverty.

If you aren't reading this, piss off, you're nothing to me, and I don't need you anyway. I have these other people. They're better than you. Leave me alone. (Wait, I guess you already are. Hmph.)

Stuff:

- Chris McCray is playing in Italy for a division two team called Rimini Crabs, which sounds like the most painful affliction that a man can have. McCray averages a rather unimpressive 13.8 points and 4.1 rebounds against this underwhelming calibre of opposition.

- Taj McCullough is in the D-League, and started the year with the Erie BayHawks. He barely played there, averaging 6.5 points and 1.9 rebounds in 8 games before being waived in late December, T-Mac was later picked up by the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, for whom he averages a far better 15.6 points and 4.6 rebounds, while hacking up 5 and a half three pointers per game. That might not be the best idea.

- Cornelius "Scooter" McFadgon recently left his team in Chile to sign with Barako Bull (they're missing a real trick if they don't start marketing thundersticks as "Barmers") in the Philippines.

- Ivan McFarlin is exactly where you'd expect him to be; Switzerland. Playing for whoever the hell Sdent BBC Nyon are, McFarlin averages 15.1 points and 9.0 rebounds alongside such luminaries as Baptiste Cransac and Stephen Sir. Remember those names.

- It is hard to find Jeff McInnis news, considering that there is a reality TV chef of the same name who seems to be far more newsworthy. (I've never heard of him, but you can understand why headlines like this one get my attention.) I can assure you, though, that Jeff McInnis is not signed anywhere. And he may never be.

- Nor will Aaron McKie, whose retirement seems for certain this time, as no one can randomly sign and trade him any more. McKie was inevitably waived by the Grizzlies, and later reprised the role as an informal Sixers assistant coach that he was so rudely stolen away from at about this time last year. By the way, he received probation in his gun possession case thing, and that reminds me: please use the criminal issues page thing, found in both the previous link and every single player profile on this site. I spent bloody months at that thing, and no one seems to look at it. I am saddened by this.

- Keith McLeod is with International Rescue, from whom all players will be adorned the surname "Tracy". This is because I want my already tenuous and unfunny joke to really ignite worldwide. McLeod - sorry; Tracy averages 14.0 points, 3.4 rebounds and 4.8 assists per game, shooting a sizzling 27% from three point range.

- Gerry McNamara went unsigned for a while after failing to make the Jazz roster, and then popped up in the D-League with the Reno Bighorns. (Giggidy, et cetera. Maybe one day I'll stop saying giggidy. Maybe not.) McNamara averages 6.8 points and 3.3 assists on slightly disconcerting 38% shooting, backing up whoever the hell starting point guard Majic Dorsey is.

- Antonio Meeking is also on that same team, and he leads the team with an 18.3 points per game average. He's also second in boards with an 8.2 rpg average, yet for some reason he's started taking more three pointers. It's not really working out, as he is 22-72 on the year, for a sub-par 31% average.

- Stanislav Medvedenko hasn't played in a non-NBA professional game since the year 2000. Considering that he's not in the NBA any more, hasn't technically been in it for two years, and hasn't really been for about four years, you can conclude that his career has reached a slight incline.

- Finally, Sammy Mejia is still with his Greek team that I made that bad opticians joke about, AEK 1964. It's a joke so bad that you have to research it to even understand it. And that just further ruins its already dangerously unfunny nature. Mejia averages 14.7 points, 3.5 rebounds and 1.9 assists per game, with the points per game being enough for 8th best in the Greek league. It's only good for second on his team, though, as former Notre Dame big man Torin Francis leads the team (and is second in the league) with a 17.4ppg average, far in advance of anything that he has ever done before. But AEK are currently in last place in the Greek league anyway.

Summer signings, round 29

- The Nets figured out that they could use a point guard, given that they only have two right now, one of whom is a shooting guard. So they brought in their former player Eddie Gill, as well as GM Kiki Vanderweghe's former mistake, Julius Hodge. They also signed another old boy, Awvee Storey, as well as some fella called Brian Hamilton. Those two can now battle valiantly for two weeks for the spot of 7th small forward on the roster, before both being waived anyway. Tough life.

- Jiri Hubalek's replacement at Phoenix's training camp is a man known by the slightly superb name of Coleman Collins, who played for the Raptors in summer league. Also turning out for the Suns' camp are Robert Hite, a highly capable three point shooter, and Trey Johnson, whose name suggests that he should be.

- The Clippers added Curtis Sumpter amongst their list of camp signings, and just as I was about to write about how they still made this move after barely playing him in their summer league campaign, I then realised that it wasn't Curtis Sumpter who played for the Clippers in summer league, but Curtis Stinson! Haha! God! I bet Sumpter gets that, like, ALL the time!

- In other Clippers news, Jason Williams retired not long after signing with the team. Bugger! I was really hoping for a J-Dub Redux, so much so that I have mentioned it like 80 times. And now we won't have one. Damn shame.

- Chicago made easily the best training camp signings out of everyone, because they're the best franchise in the sport. Genius comes naturally to them, and these signings reflect that. But enough of this overused hubris - they did actually make two good signings with Elton Brown and Darius Washington, fringe NBA players who can bring something that the team otherwise lacks, were they to make the roster. Roger Powell has far less chance of doing anything, but at least they get "hometown boy makes hometown team" stories out of it.

- Orlando made three signings of their own, with forward Jeremy Richardson, center Dwayne Jones, and point guard Mike Wilks. Three of my favourite fringe NBA players, they are. But I bet only Wilks sticks. Shame.

- Francisco Garcia somehow got a 5 year, $30 million extension from the Kings, which is basically MLE money. This after one decent year. Based on last year's play, and last year's play only, is Garcia worthy of the MLE? No, not really. He learnt how to shoot, but only to the direct detriment of his defense. Yet somehow, the Kings think that this one semi-decent season from a soon to be 27 year old backup is worth giving him a 5 year novelty oversized extension. Okay. Have fun paying him $7 million when he's 32. (Note: if Garcia tunes his game to the point where he plays the average defense that he used to play, yet keeps his fancy new jumpshot as well, then this will be fine.)

- Sammy Mejia, former draft pick of the Pistons, has signed for a Greek team named AEL 1964 Larissa, whose name derives from a joyous union of some opticians, the seminal Beatles smash "I Want To Hold Your Hand", and a 6'4 black transexual hooker. Sounds like a good night in.

- Philadelphia fully committed to this training camp idea, bringing in four players, seemingly stuck on the "R" page of their available players directory. Maureece Rice is a short fat guard who can't play point guard and who just came off a pretty damn poor senior year, Antywane Robinson is a training camp veteran small forward with an affection for his unspectacular jumpshot, Jared Reiner is a legend, and Justin Reed is trying to get back into the league after being one of the better players in the D-League last year. Those last two have a chance, depending on how deep the Sixers want to go. The Sixers also signed veteran Andre Emmett, but he has far less of a chance.

- Miami signed Eddie Basden as a energetic defensive guard with no offensive talent, and Matt Walsh as a perimeter shooter. But, considering that the Heat have already signed Koobs Diawara and James Earl Jones for those two roles, both of whoom have considerably more guaranteed money coming to them, you can probably go ahead and say with some confidence that there ain't no way in hell they're making the team. The Heat also signed Omar Barlett and Tre Kelley for camp, the kind of signings that training camp is about - a 28 year old forward so obscure that I had to translate the Polish calendar to figure out when his birthdate is, and a small guard who goes by an alias unbefitting of his style of play. Good times. I love training camp, me.



This will be the last of the summer signings posts, by the way. This is partly because news has pretty much dried up, and that most news now is just training camp signings, which will be fully documented in another post. But mainly, it's because it's not summer any more.

We'll go out with a bang. Two bangs, in fact. You're getting banged from all angles. Giggidy.

- Former Atlanta Hawks forward Hanno Mottola retired from the game last week, while in theory still at his "peak". That's bang number one.

- Bang number two; the mighty Shawn Kemp comeback, mentioned before here, is over after precisely 0 games. Kemp showed up in reasonable shape, but then stopped showing up at all. After flying home briefly to the USA - ostensibly to check that his property was fine after recent hurricanes - Kemp never came back, and the team ended the experiment, on seemingly courteous terms. To replace Kemp, the team have signed former NBA brick shithouse Brandon Hunter.

That is all. Summer officially just ended. So sayeth the Lord.

Where Are They Now? Part 25

Cornelius "Scooter" McFadgon continues to he one of the highest scorers named McFadgon in the D-League, averaging 16.1 points for the Bakersfield Jam.

Ivan The Terrible is playing for Kolejliler Ankara in Turkey, and as I've described before, Turkish league stats are an adventure. So work them out yourself.

Jeff McInnis was waived by Charlotte during the season and has not caught on elsewhere.

Keith McLeod is in the news this week, after giving Lonnt Baxter a shout-out. The article says that Keith is unemployed, but he did briefly play in Italy this season, playing 4 games for Siena, where he averaged 4 points. Must have pissed him off, that.

Slava Medvedenko has not played since his short stint with the Atlanta Hawks last season. The Hawks decided that they could probably do better than that, and in the season after dumping Slava, they made the playoffs. Just firing it out there.

Antonio 'Blessed Are The' Meeking is Luis Flores's teammate in the Italian second division, for Indesit Fabriano. You may remember that I made a crap washing machine joke at this juncture once when discussing Flores. Or maybe you don't remember that. Probably best not to. Meeking averages 11 points and 5.5 rebounds a game, and for the record Flores averages 22 points and 3 assists.

Sammy Mejia is averaging 11.5 points and 4.9 rebounds for Capo D'Orlando in Italy, where he plays alongside someone by the rather fabulous name of Oscar Gugliotta. And there's you thinking that the basketball world had only one Gugliotta.

Rich Melzer is playing for the Art Dragons of Quakenbrueck in Germany. (Do dragons quack? And if so, does it echo?) You may remember this as being where Adam Chubb plays. Melzer has played only one game for the team, scoring 11 points in 16 minutes, while Chubb averages a team high 14.2 points to go along with a pretty shocking 4.8 rebounds. He's also shot more free throws than field goals, which must be hard to do.

Pops Mensah-Bonsu is a part of the stacked Benetton Treviso lineup in italy, where he averages 9.3 points and 8.8 rebounds. He is also shooting 59% from the floor, and who wouldn't with Reece Gaines serving up high percentage looks all game?

Ron Mercer retired due to injury a while ago, and hasn't made the news for a while.

Scott Merritt is playing for the Tulsa 66ers of the D-League, where he averages 7.0 points and 3.6 rebounds.