Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 35

For what it's worth, a "team of admins" are now looking into the problems with this website's server, which has now mutated from one problem into two. It's not fun for any of you, but least of all for me. But at least we're trying. I'll just keep putting stuff up here anyway, both on this blog and site-wide. If and when you're lucky enough to be able to see it, it's all yours. Be patient, resilient and brave. We'll get through this together, even if some lesser folk die along the way.

Why this had to happen at the time of the trade deadline, I don't know. But it could be worse. This website didn't exist during the 2007 moratorium. Maybe I should put ads up and get a dedicated server. Yeah, that might be wise.

- Rich Melzer is currently unsigned, and played only three games last season for the German side Quackenbrueck, whose name also doubles as a duck's favourite breakfast. Having just turned 29, this doesn't seem like a particularly healthy direction for Melzer's career to be going towards. Then again, he used to play in Australia, so this might be better.

- Pops Mensah-Bonsu is a legend. There are two reasons why I think this. The first is because he's English. The second is because he's a legend. Pops started the year with DKV Joventut Badalona in Spain, playing five Spanish league games and totalling 14/9 in his one Euroleague game, before injuring himself (I think it was his shoulder) in late October. DKV released him (I think it was by mutual consent - it's all written down somewhere, but I'm too lazy to look for it), and Pops spent the next three months on the sidelines. However, in late January he returned, and was acquired by the Austin Toros of the D-League as just one more in their long line of decent big men this season. In the 6 games that Pops has played for Austin, he has absolutely beasted in the way that only legends can, averaging a fully stuffed statline of 25.3 ppg, 12.5 rpg, 2.3 apg, 4.7 fpg, 2.8 spg and 1.3 bpg, and shooting 61% from the field. This man can, will and should be in the NBA. By the way, with him, Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Joel Freeland and potentially Kelenna Azubuike (whose initial application for a British passport was turned down, even though he was born in London, due to the immigration status of his parents at the time), British basketball finally has something that it has never previously had; genuine hope. That's a starting five that could beat the Kings right now, and it's all ours (sort of). In a period of world basketball that sees old mainstays like China and Lithuania getting up there in age with no great influx of youth coming through, Britain has a chance to make an impact on the world basketball scene for the first time since.....well, ever. We've been so far behind for so long that you might not even notice it happening, but in the not too distant future, this could be a team that plays in the important competitions for a change. And believe me, this would be an achievement. Even losing at a high level would be solace of sorts. Maybe one day, we'll develop a league worth televising.

- Ron Mercer is also a legend, albeit in a different way and to a far lesser degree. Since his retirement back in late 2006, Mercer's sole foray into the headlines was back in 2007, when he was cited for misdemeanour assault after punching a bouncer in the face at a strip club. It is not known what else he does with his time.

- Scott Merritt is playing for InterCollege Etha Engomis in Cyprus. He averages 16.3 points, 7.3 rebounds and 4.0 fouls. Haven't a gag for this.

- Aaron Miles is signed with Panionios in Greece. I had a Panionios game to watch the other day, but my bastard Sky+ (it's like Tivo) recorded over it. Oh well. Miles is averaging 11.0 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.6 assists in the Greek league, with 13% three point shooting, alongside 10.2 points, 2.8 rebounds, 3.3 assists and 25% 3FG in the Euroleague.

- Oliver Miller's last basketball gig was as the player/coach of the Arkansas RiverCatz (the Z makes it appeal to children!) in the ABA back in 2006/07. I don't know how it went, nor what he does now. But he does (or did) have a clothing label called "Da O Zone". However, a gig Google of that reveals only this:


Scary stuff.

- Reggie Miller is now one of my least favourite announcers around. No offence.

- Paul Miller now comes off the bench in Poland. For Anwil Wloclawek, Miller averages 10.7 points and 5.4 rebounds a game. One of my favourite memories from this past summer league was a clip of Quentin Richardson walking up to Miller with a camera on him, and repeatedly (and playfully) punching him, while Miller stood still and looked a bit bemused by it all. If you saw this too, you'd understand.

- Ricky Minard is in his second season with Premiata Montegranaro in Italy, where he seems to constantly go by the name Minardi for some reason. (I guess it's deliberate and not just constant typos. By the way, best Formula 1 team of all time other than Forti.) Minard averages 17.4 points, 4.2 rebounds and 1.4 assists, making him one of the leading scorers in Serie A. And that's a pretty impressive boast.

- Albert "Miracles" Miralles is into his fourth season with Pamesa Valencia, and might be a lifer. Miralles averages 5.2 points, 3.2 rebounds and 3.0 fouls in the Eurocup, and 5.9 points, 3.6 rebounds and 2.5 fouls on the season in the Spanish league. To read a recent crudely translated interview of his, click this. Notice how it doesn't mention the NBA anywhere.

- Dwayne Mitchell is in the D-League with the D-Fenders, who got allocated him after he was cut from the Lakers training camp. This is the benefit of signing lots of long shots to your training camp roster. The downside is when you get a Jason Richards or Mike Wilks-like situation, where the player gets injured in camp and you have to pay them for the full season. That kind of sucks a bit. Mitchell averages 17.3 points, 7.1 rebounds and 4.4 assists, but is shooting worse than ever from outside, with only a 19% three point success rate. That also kind of sucks a bit.

- Finally, Jerome Moiso was Pops Mensah-Bonsu's replacement at Joventut. How coincidental! Moiso averages 7.1 points and 4.3 rebounds per game in the Spanish league, while shooting 71% from the field.

Top 24 NBA Sex Scandals Of The Last 15 Years

In case you missed it, a story "broke" (if that's the right way to phrase something that's been around, but underacknowledged, since about 1998) NBA legend Karl Malone knocked up a 13 year old girl when he was a college player. Why this has gone past us so quietly is a mystery, but it does seem to be just one more in a long list of recent NBA sex scandals. And so here is that list.

Stories listed in no particular order.



LIST OF NBA PLAYERS (and owners) IN RAPE/WEIRD NAUGHTY SEX STUFF SCANDALS:


1 - Karl Malone: See above.

2 - Bryant Matthews: Former Raptor (for about a week) only got out of jail earlier this year for a rape charge in which he walked in on his friend and his friend's girlfriend having sex in a hotel room, and stuck his fingers in her lovely lady lump. His in-court defense was "[I] thought she was cool with it". Apparently she wasn't. Served nine months.

3 - DeShawn Stevenson: Had consensual sex with a 14 year old when he was 20, which isn't rape in the she-didn't-want-it sense, but which is clearly statutory. Pleaded no contest to sex with a minor. Was sentenced to 2 years probation and 100 hours of community service, which somewhat sadistically was served at a "Boys And Girls" club.

4 - Ruben Patterson: Sentenced to a year in jail (all but 15 days of which were suspended) after pleading no contest to an attempted rape charge on his nanny. Allegedly, she came in to find Patterson standing naked, masturbating. He then forced her to gigoogidy his gerschmoigin, and ejaculated within seconds. Only then did he let her leave. Allegedly. Also fined $100,000 by the Blazers, which seemed a little ironic since they'd just given him $35 million, even with this charge hanging over him. Additionally received 2 years probation, a $5,000 fine and had to pay the nanny.

5 - Chris Webber and Juwan Howard: Accused of sexual assault. Jury decided not to indict. Howard later sued the accuser, won, and donated his $100,000 settlement to a rape crisis centre.

6 - Ron Mercer, Antoine Walker and Chauncey Billups: Details on this are sparse, but apparently they were sued for rape. Why would you sue for rape? Why wouldn't you press charges? I don't get it. Either way, no charges were brought, and an out-of-court settlement was reached. (The incident took place at Walker's home, where - allegedly - he walked in on the act, and declined his housemate Michael Irvin's invitation to dive right in there. Strange times.)

7 - Andray Blatche: Arrested and charged with solicitation. Was sentenced to attend a day's seminar on the dangers of prostitution, which seems like no punishment whatsoever.

8 - Kwame Brown: Accused of sexual assault after a playoff game. No charges brought due to a lack of evidence. The woman in question admitted to a consensual encounter, and then apparently it got less consensual. But that doesn't explain why she then hung around for hours afterwards.

9 - Kobe Bryant: Yeah, you know this story. Case dropped in criminal court, settlement reached in civil court.

10 - Jahidi White: Investigated for sexual assault. Details extremely absent. No charges. (Rumour has it that it involved a nude Oriental lady and a fat white chick. And lots of crying. Allegedly.)

11 - Julius Hodge: Accused of sexual assault on a Denver woman. The woman claimed that, after driving her back to her house after being at a club, Hodge forced her onto the bed and tried to rape her. No charges were brought due to lack of evidence. The woman was then jailed for violating her concurrent probation by being out that late.

12 - Michael Olowokandi: Sued for rape by a woman who claims that the encounter led to the less-than-immaculate conception. Can't seem to find out what became of this.

13 - Mo Peterson, Cliff Robinson, Juwan Howard again: All sued at some point for allegedly deliberating infecting someone with herpes. In Juwan's case, it happened twice. The suit against Robinson was for an enormous $20 million, and tests showed that he did (does?) indeed have it. (The herpes, not the $20 million.)

14 - Sam Cassell: Accused of rape way back in 1996. No charges brought.

15 - Elden Campbell: Sued for an apparent date rape, in which he allegedly drugged someone before raping them. I don't know what became of this, because it was back in 1997, and my only source of research is the internet. And the internet wasn't much back in 1997. But obviously not much came of it, or else we would have known about it. Date rape is a pretty bloody serious allegation, after all.

16 - Latrell Sprewell: Investigated for sexual assault after apparently choking a woman he was having consensual sex with on his boat. Don't know what became of this, which implies that it was probably nothing. (But he did later have the boat repossessed.)

17 - Donald Sterling: Admitted to paying a woman for sex for a numbers of years. The story offered up some awesome quotes.

18 - George Shinn: Accused of a kidnapping-for-sex charge, after allegedly luring a woman whom he knew was addicted to prescription drugs to his home, and shagging her. Admitted to having sex with her, but said it was consensual. No criminal charges were brought, and acquitted in civil court.

19 - Bobby Simmons: Arrested for misdemeanour fourth degree assault after allegedly fondling the breasts of a woman who got into his car in the early hours of the morning, and then punching her in the face. Charges not brought due to lack of evidence.

20 - Bernard Robinson Jr: Arrested and charged with assault and battery on a female student after touching her up in a stairwell. Sentenced to a year's probation which included such terms as a written letter of apology, never talking to the girl again, being fined $850, complete abstention from drugs and alcohol, and being forced to partcipiate in sex offender "screening" to see if he had serial sex offender tendencies. That must have been soul destroying.

21 - Justin Williams: Accused of rape. Later dropped. It never became official, but his lawyer alluded to the fact that he did nail the chick while on camera, which would have been rather conclusive in a court of law as to the level of consensual loving.

22 - Calvin Murphy: Former player and Rockets announcer accused of sexual abuse by 5 of his illegitimate children (he has 14 kids, 11 illegitimate). Jury acquitted him in less than two hours. But he lost his job and his reputation, so the damage was done.

23 - Eddie Johnson: "Fast" Eddie Johnson (not the other Eddie Johnson, the sixth man award winner, but the one who is a former Hawks player) was accused of sexual assault on an 8 year old girl. As far as I can tell, he is awaiting sentencing, but that may be wrong.

24 - Nick Anderson: Accused of rape. Held a press conference on the subject in which he cried a lot,



Add any of your own. (Not "add any of your own rape charges", but "add any of your own submissions for NBA players sex scandals that I may have missed.)

Where Are They Now? Part 25

Cornelius "Scooter" McFadgon continues to he one of the highest scorers named McFadgon in the D-League, averaging 16.1 points for the Bakersfield Jam.

Ivan The Terrible is playing for Kolejliler Ankara in Turkey, and as I've described before, Turkish league stats are an adventure. So work them out yourself.

Jeff McInnis was waived by Charlotte during the season and has not caught on elsewhere.

Keith McLeod is in the news this week, after giving Lonnt Baxter a shout-out. The article says that Keith is unemployed, but he did briefly play in Italy this season, playing 4 games for Siena, where he averaged 4 points. Must have pissed him off, that.

Slava Medvedenko has not played since his short stint with the Atlanta Hawks last season. The Hawks decided that they could probably do better than that, and in the season after dumping Slava, they made the playoffs. Just firing it out there.

Antonio 'Blessed Are The' Meeking is Luis Flores's teammate in the Italian second division, for Indesit Fabriano. You may remember that I made a crap washing machine joke at this juncture once when discussing Flores. Or maybe you don't remember that. Probably best not to. Meeking averages 11 points and 5.5 rebounds a game, and for the record Flores averages 22 points and 3 assists.

Sammy Mejia is averaging 11.5 points and 4.9 rebounds for Capo D'Orlando in Italy, where he plays alongside someone by the rather fabulous name of Oscar Gugliotta. And there's you thinking that the basketball world had only one Gugliotta.

Rich Melzer is playing for the Art Dragons of Quakenbrueck in Germany. (Do dragons quack? And if so, does it echo?) You may remember this as being where Adam Chubb plays. Melzer has played only one game for the team, scoring 11 points in 16 minutes, while Chubb averages a team high 14.2 points to go along with a pretty shocking 4.8 rebounds. He's also shot more free throws than field goals, which must be hard to do.

Pops Mensah-Bonsu is a part of the stacked Benetton Treviso lineup in italy, where he averages 9.3 points and 8.8 rebounds. He is also shooting 59% from the floor, and who wouldn't with Reece Gaines serving up high percentage looks all game?

Ron Mercer retired due to injury a while ago, and hasn't made the news for a while.

Scott Merritt is playing for the Tulsa 66ers of the D-League, where he averages 7.0 points and 3.6 rebounds.