Summer league round-up: Toronto Raptors

View the Raptors summer league roster.

- Paul Davis: Davis was waived by the Clippers to save some money, after being brought back for no obvious reason whatsoever. Strangely, he didn't sign anywhere after that, but he did appear on Millionaire Matchmaker, where it was determined that he showed an "immature" attitude towards sex. But he did win the heart of one spectacularly energetic pseudo blonde:



These. These are the things we must know.

- DeMar Derozan: The Raptors wings last season had all the athleticism of a grilled perch, so at least they addressed that. But I can't say I'm overwhelmed with the pick. No word on what Derozan's attitudes towards sex are, or what he deems to be an "upscale" bowling alley. Yet I'm sure the feisty blondes are digging that already.

- David Doblas: Doblas (listed as Doblas in the Raptors official summer league release, which was confusing) is a soon-to-be 28 year old Spaniard with the usual Spanish problems with hair. (This is one thing I noticed when I holidayed there earlier this year; everyone has black hair, and they all bald at 30. Without exceptions. And their women are overrated. Good luck, David.) Last year for Bruesa-Guipuzcoa BC - the ACB team that you've totally never heard of - Doblas averaged 9.2 points and 4.4 rebounds. Why is he here? I....I.......I don't know.

- Quincy Douby: Speaking of things I don't know, I don't know Quincy Douby's amount of guaranteed salary, so stop asking. (Although I'm fairly sure it's $0, that's only an educated guess.) There's basically no reason for him to make the team, or even for him to be in the NBA; Douby may well be a versatile scorer with the ball in his hands, but he's very undersized, does not rebound or create for others, is not efficient, and is not a good enough shooter to be much use as a catch-and-shoot specialist. Just go to Europe and start starring, Quincy. It'll be easy.

- Carl English: Despite the name, English is Canadian, which is why Raptors fans have had a long standing thing for him. But even though he finally got a chance to play on the Raptors team, he inevitably didn't, as he signed a lucrative contract with Tau Ceramica before summer league began. The opportunity to be a key contributor on a big team, and to embrace the unenviable task of replacing Igor Rakocevic, seemed more inviting to English than the prospect of trying to beat out Quincy Douby for a spot on the inactive list. And I can't say I blame him. (This is the reason why I think you should move to Europe, Quincy.)

- Ekene Ibekwe: Ibekwe (whose full name is Ekenechukwu Brian Ibekwe, which is pretty brilliant) is a former Maryland shotblocker who developed some offense from last season out of roughly nowhere. Last year in Turkey, Ibekwe averaged 18.6 points, 8.23 rebounds, 1.8 blocks and 1.8 steals per game, shooting 61% from two point range, 38% from three point range, and 57% from the foul line. He was never more than an 11ppg scorer in college, so the breakout was quite unexpected. It's certainly made him more interesting.

- Nathan Jawai: Jawai didn't play for the Raptors in summer league, for the simple and obvious reason that they traded his ass to Dallas in the Shawn Marion deal. He might not make the team, though, because Dallas now has 16 under contract, with exceptions they still want to spend. Dallas still needs a centre, and there's no denying that Jawai is one, but Ryan Hollins is better. If Dallas is able to make something out of the Shawne Williams/Greg Buckner/whatever else package, then maybe Jawai has a chance. But if not, maybe Colangelo can get his boy back.

- Demetris Nichols: Nichols was a member of the Bulls for over a year and $750,000, and in that time he did precisely zip. After that, he went to the D-League, and averaged 21 points per game for the Idaho Stampede, before getting a call-up to the team that so raved about him for a bit, the Knicks. Nothing happened, and after a workout for the Indiana Pacers, this is where he's ended up. The Raptors probably don't have a roster spot for him, unless they do the right thing and put Devean George to sleep.

- Patrick O'Bryant: The Raptors just agreed to bring back Rasho Nesterovic, and that's a bloody good thing. Had they not, Patrick O'Bryant would have been next year's backup centre. And that's not helping anybody. Three years in now, and O'Bryant still hasn't gotten anywhere. He still fouls at an alarming rate, is increasingly sure of his own jumpshot (which, admittedly, is getting better), is no stronger than before and is still mistake ridden. He could use a dose of Smush Parker's swag, more than anything.

- Smush Parker: Question: Does Smush Parker still largely chug ball? Answer: yep. Parker split last year between the D-League and China, and it's the same old story. Plenty of athleticism and a decent scorer, but no defense, no lead guard abilities, criminal recklessness and too much swagger. Here's a fun fact, though; Smush Parker and Tony Parker both really have the first name "William." Good trivia. Write it down.

- Brent Petway: Brent Petway dunks, raps, plays defense and Tweets. Be sure to holla at ya boi.

- Shawn Taggart: Taggart was brought in late as Jawai's replacement. He decided to forego his senior season this year due to the vague possibility of him getting drafted. He may have had a case, since Robert Dozier got drafted (albeit with the last pick), and it's not like there's much between them. But it didn't happen, and so now Taggart is on the outside, looking in, where he'll probably always be. If things go badly, he'll always have his long running detective series to fall back on.

- Roko Ukic: In the interest of speeding these things up a bit, yet also due to the powerful validity of the statement, I would like to sum up the life and times of Roko Ukic with the following quickfire repartee: Roko Ukic sucks. That is all.

Summer signings, round 5

I am going to make these have a stronger pertinence to actual NBA players, and not just really shit players with vague NBA associations. This is partly because of people's perceived lack of interest in these posts, but also because I'm running out of jokes about people that I barely know. If I'm honest, it's mainly this second one.

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- Mario Austin has signed with Besiktas in Turkey, where he will probably be the finest player in the land bar none, while playing no defense whatsoever. Such is how he rolls.

(Wait, hang on, he's never played in the NBA. Oh well, never mind. He could do, he might still do, I like him, he's on this site, and that's what matters.)

- Houston Rockets draft pick Brad Newley has swapped difficult-to-spell Greek teams, going from Panionios to Panellinios. His brief reign as "The Most Exciting Second Round Pick To Come Out Of Australia" lasted one year before being topped by Nathan Jawai, who, unlike Newley, might actually be quite good. Well, so I'm told.

- C.J. Miles of the Utah Jazz has been signed to an offer sheet by the Oklahoma City Showertraps. The news itself is uninteresting, but it sets some first: the signing is the first in the history of the new Oklahoma City franchise (hooray!), and also the first non-minimum free agency signing that GM Sam Presti has made. The only previous ones were non-guaranteed minimum deals to Mike Wilks (there for 20 days), Eddie Gill (there for 10 days), Jermaine Jackson (there for training camp only), and Ronald Dupree (the last few games of the season). That right there represents no pedigree - no list of basketball players with Mike Wilks as the best player can ever be considered a good list. As for Miles, his offer sheet is for 4 years and $15 millionish, which is clearly way too much for a man who showed little in three years. If Presti's reasoning was to bid enough that Utah would not match, he's certainly gotten that right.

- Carlos Delfino has signed a lucractive contract with Khimky in Russia, whom you will have heard of from reading about the signing of Milt Palacio in Part 2. This article talks about the financial benefits of this move for Delfino, but importantly fails to mention the fact that Delfino would never get paid that much in the NBA because he's not a very good NBA player. And that factors. (Khimky seems to only sign ex-Raptors, with Delfino, Palacio, Jerome Moiso and potentially Jorge Garbajosa on their roster for next season. So maybe there's hope for Juan Dixon.)

- Craig Smith has agreed to re-sign with Minnesota for two years, in what appears to cynical eyes to be an unsubtle bid for unrestricted free agency at the earliest possible opportunity. It's a damn shame that Craig Smith is stuck in Minnesota. I say that not because of some blind hatred for the Timberwolves, but because it means Smith is stuck playing behind Al Jefferson, the one man you wouldn't want to play him alongside. (By the way, are Kevin Love and Al Jefferson really going to work together? Can we get an answer from that from someone named McHale? I'm not saying that they can't, but it's kind of vital, you know? And how the hell did Brian Cardinal, Jason Collins, Calvin Booth and Mark Madsen wind up on the same team? That's a spectacular conflagration of shitness.)

- D'Or Fischer has signed for Maccabi Electra in Israel. I'm not sure that even I care about that one.

- New Jersey have signed both Eduardo Najera and Jarvis Hayes, which is upspetting on a personal leve, because it means that my Andres Nocioni and Cedric Simmons for Keith Van Horn and Stromile Swift trade idea is basically down the crapper now. (Feasibilities from the Nets point of view, be damned. Like this was ever about them.)

- Loren Woods - waived by the Rockets last week - has signed with Zalgiris in Lithuania. I enjoyed his fleeting comeback, though. And Jelani McCoy's.

- Patrick O'Bryant has signed with the Boston Celtics, who appear to have tightened up the pursestrings. With James Posey signed elsewhere and with all their other free agents not expected back, the Celtics now have no bench. This, therefore, seems like a weird signing - with no veteran point guard, no veteran big man and no backup swingman worth a damn, they go out and get Patrick O'Bryant? (Well, OK. Everyone needs a project 7 footer, I suppose. Just as long as they actually remember the other bits too.)

- Toronto signed Roko Ukic to be their new backup point guard, but I can't help but wonder at his NBA.com profile picture.



- The Lakers did not match Golden State's offer sheet to Ronny Turiaf, and for those keeping score at home, the Warriors offseason currently reads like this.

In: Corey Maggette, Ronny Turiaf, Anthony Randolph, Bobby Brown
Out: Baron Davis, Matt Barnes, Mickael Pietrus, Patrick O'Bryant,
Undetermined: Kelenna Azubuike (possibly going), Monta Ellis (will be staying barring disaster), Andris Biedrins (ditto), Dick Hendrix, C.J. Watson

Given that they've bid on pretty much everybody so far, it isn't going too well. When you have eight players heading for free agency, should your second signing really be a backup big man, when you only have one real guard under contract? And that price (4 years, $17 million)? Strange.

Also, the Warriors are reported as considering making a bid for Philadelphia restricted free agent Louie Williams. (Note: people with the name "Louis" but who don't pronounce the "S" should not be allowed to spell it like that. I'm indignant on this.) This, too, seems odd: aside from Nate Robinson, I can't think of a worse person to pair with Ellis. So the Warriors offseason still has ways to go.

- Finally tonight, in the only real news that matters, the Milwaukee Bucks signed Malik Allen and Tyronn Lue, reuniting Malik with former head coach and profound Malik Allen fan, Scott Skiles. Cute. But, as for the Tyronn Lue signing.....not so sure. What was the point for either party? Lue had other suits, some of whom were offering more money, more minutes, and more wins than the Bucks. So why does he choose Milwaukee? (Readers note: The correct answer is "the lure of Malik Allen.") Also, why does Milwaukee sign Tyronn Lue, when they have Maurice Williams as the incumbent starter, and Ramon Sessions as a promising backup? If they're going to use Lue solely as a third string, then they've got themselves a high quality third string point guard, so well done them. But why not sign a point guard with some good defense? (And no, I'm not advocating the re-signing of Royal Ivey. I said good defense.) Lue replicates a lot of the skill set from those in front of him, except without the passing. In that respect, it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Then again, not a lot has made sense so far this offseason. And at least they didn't overpay.