Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 6

Yesterday, Golden State waived Mikki Moore to ensure that they could keep on Chris Hunter. In doing so, they've cost themselves money. Moore was set to cost the Warriors $825,497, the minimum salary for a two year veteran. Moore was actually being paid $1,306,455, the minimum salary for a ten or more year veteran (he has played 11 seasons), but as his minimum salary contract is only for one year and he has more than three years of experience, the team is only billed an amount equal to the minimum salary of a two year vet. The league pays the rest. It's a system that helps older players get work, so that teams aren't deterred from signing them just because they cost more. However, the rebate is only applicable if the team keeps the player on for the full season. So by waiving him, Golden State upped their own financial commitment from $825,497 to $1,306,455, on a player who can't now play for them.

They probably could have waived Devean George instead.

Also, as I mentioned four days ago, the Bucks waived Roko Ukic so that he could sign with Fenerbahce. I'm not claiming to have had insider information here, nor am I claiming that can I read Turkish. But someone who can read Turkish read something Turkish and happened to mention it. And I'm online a lot.

The Jazz signed Sundiata Gaines today. They needed an extra guard, and Sundiata was one of the best the D-League has to offer. For the Idaho Stampede this year, he was averaging 23.9 points, 6.9 assists, 4.7 rebounds and 2.3 steals, and no matter how much those numbers are inflated by the Stampede's pace - and no matter how unflattering his measurements are to his score-first style - them's is good numbers. Also note; 10 day contracts became available today, and today marks the 14th day after the Matt Harpring/Eric Maynor trade, meaning today was the day that the Jazz had to sign someone. The timing of that trade was not a coincidence. By waiting as long as possible, they saved as much money as possible. Because of that, it wouldn't be a surprise if Sundiata played out his ten days and then went back to the D-League. Good luck to him, though. If Wes Matthews can do a Wes Matthews, then so can Sundiata Gaines.

(Here's a video of Sundiata's reaction to being called up. Awww!)

By writing completely unrelated intros to these Where Are They Now posts, I'm making the website less likely to break down. It's a long story.



- Esteban Batista

Far from being the minimum salary steal that Celtics fans wanted him to be in the summer of 2007, Batista is out of the NBA and playing in Spain, after signing a three year contract with Fuenlebrada this summer. On the season, he is being highly productive, averaging 16.2 points, 8.1 rebounds, 1.3 steals and 1.4 blocks per game, shooting 54% from the floor and 76% from the line. It's quite a good comeback year for Batista, who last year had a bit of a shocker. He started out with Maccabi Tel-Aviv, for whom he played in the 2007-08 season, but Maccabi had a regime change, and the new regime didn't want Batista. They let him go midseason and Batista signed with Triumph in Russia, but he then left there as well, claiming it was too cold. He saw out the season in Argentina, about whose temperature he didn't seem to complain. Now in a decent situation, where the minutes, money and humidity are all adequate, Batista is producing once again.



- Mike Batiste

Remember Mike Batiste's stint in the NBA with the Grizzlies? Nor do I, really. After going undrafted out of Arizona State in 1999, he spent a year injured, a year in Belgium and a year in Italy, signed with the Clippers for 2002 training camp, and was claimed off waivers by the Grizzlies in October. Batiste spent a year with the team, playing 1,248 minutes in 75 games, averaging 6.4 points, 3.4 rebounds and 0.9 turnovers a game. It was the only season of his NBA career.

At the time, Batiste was a 6'8 225 combo forward who played mostly small forward, but who hadn't quite figured out the position. The turnover numbers were high, as Batiste was not a ball handler, and he shot only 22% on three pointers on the season. After leaving the NBA, Batiste signed with Panathinaikos in Greece; unbelievably, he's still there seven years later. In that time, he's re-designed his game again, going from an athletic combo forward to a hugely strong post player. Batiste has beefed the hell up, now known as "The Beast" not only for the rhyme but for his strength, and he's a post-up option that most of Greece fails to stop. This season, Batiste is averaging 15.5 points and 4.5 rebounds in only 19 minutes per game in the Euroleague, and 10.3 points and 4.7 rebounds in 19 minutes per game in the Greek league. (As for why he plays only half the game; Panathinaikos are 12 deep. Everyone only plays half the game.)

He is aided in his European career by his Bulgarian passport, which allows him to quality as a European player. Given that he has never played or lived in Bulgaria and seems to have no Bulgarian heritage, this passport seems a trifle illicit. I guess someone who can pull strings wanted him to stick around.

Another forgotten Grizzlies player in the early part of the decade was Antonis Fotsis. Fotsis was picked by the Grizzlies in the 2001 second round, played one year, and left. He is now Batiste's teammate at Pana. Billy Knight and Jerry West dug out some under-the-radar talent in those years, but it didn't really do them any favours.



- Edin Bavcic

Edin Bavcic was drafted by the Raptors in 2006 and traded to the Sixers. He signed a two year contract with Olimpija Ljubljana in Slovenia this summer, a Euroleague team. On the season he is averaging 5.6 points, 4.0 rebounds and 3.1 fouls per game in the Euroleague, alongside 4.9 points, 2.4 rebounds and 2.7 fouls per game in the Adriatic league.

That's all I've got. Oh, and he's 26 in May.



- Lonny Baxter

Baxter's having a better season than usual, averaging 18.4 points and 6.0 rebounds in 27 minutes per game in the Turkish league while playing for Besiktas. He also averages 12.0 points and 4.0 rebounds in the Eurocup, although that involved scoring 58 points in his first 3 games and 26 in the last 4. Besiktas are third in the Turkish league, partly because of Baxter, but largely because of 6'2 guard Mire Chatman. In 36 minutes per game (out of 40), Chatman is averaging 17.8 points, 6.3 assists, 6.0 rebounds and 2.8 steals per game. And those are Turkish assists, which are a rarer species than American ones. The 60% foul shooting for a 6'2 guard is poor, but everything else is Kidd-like. (Albeit in Turkey.)



- Aron Baynes

Washington State graduate Baynes had a God awful summer league with the L.A. Lakers. In 57 minutes of 5 games, Baynes totalled 10 points, 14 rebounds, 22 fouls and 7 turnovers, while shooting 5-22 from the field and 0-2 from the field. Something went well, though, as he went on to join Lithuanian team Lietuvos Rytas. There's absolutely no money in Lithuanian basketball right now, and Lietuvos are no exception even after winning the Eurocup last season, but they're a Euroleague team this year so the exposure is self-evident.

However, the exposure is not helping; Baynes continues to struggle in his first professional season. In the Baltic league, he's averaging 11.1 points, 5.9 rebounds and 1.3 blocks in 17 mpg; in the Lithuanian league, he's averaging 10.2 points, 5.3 rebounds and 0.7 blocks in 15 mpg; in the Euroleague, he's averaging 5.6 points, 3.3 rebounds and 1.0 blocks in 13mpg. In that respect, he's doing quite well. But his foul problem from summer league has carried over; he's averaging 3.1 fouls in 15 Lithuania league minutes per game, 3.3 fouls in 17 Baltic league minutes per game, and a whopping 4.1 fouls in 13 Euroleague minutes per game. All three of those competitions have 40 minute games and only 5 fouls before a foulout, and it's not a coincidence that the league with by far the highest standard of play is the one in which he does by far the worst. Baynes has fouled out 7 times this year in a total of 28 games; his minutes played in those games were 19, 10, 20, 15, 12, 13 and 6. And he's not Bubba Wellsing it up out there; he starts many games at centre, and Lietuvos rely on him as a big part of their rotation. But because of all the fouls, he can't deliver.

That's a lot of fouls. That's too many fouls. He needs to foul less. This is my analysis.



- Jerome Beasley

The other Beasley drafted by the Heat, Jerome is spending his second season in Holland with the Eiffel Towers Den Bosch. (Yes, I know the Eiffel Tower is in France. Someone explained the logic of this team name to me once, but I forgot what it was. All I remember is that it wasn't very logical.) On the season, Beasley is averaging 12.9 and 8.8 rebounds in the Dutch league, and 13.6 points and 8.2 rebounds in the EuroChallenge. The EuroChallenge is like an entry level Eurocup, which itself is like an entry level Euroleague. Full explanation later.

Jerome Beasley fact: Jerome Beasley was drafted with the 33rd pick in the 2003 draft whilst coming out of NCAA Division 2. That's extremely rare. In fact, only one person in the world was ever taken 33rd overall in the 2003 NBA Draft. Fact.

Another Jerome Beasley fact: Jerome Beasley was suspended by FIBA for three months last January after testing positive for marijuana. It's a Beasley thing.


- Sani Becirovic

Becirovic is Bavcic's teammate at Ljubljana. Like Bavcic, Becirovic is also a former NBA draftee, being picked 46th overall by the Nuggets back in 2003. And like Bavcic, Becirovic won't play in the NBA. But unlike Bavcic, it's not because he can't. Despite a slightly worrisome injury history, Becirovic has been a good player for over a decade, and still is. He is averaging 12.9 points and 3.9 assists per game in the Adriatic league, and almost exactly the same (12.9/3.3) in the Euroleague. As it happens, though, there's a player from Ljubljana whose play is blowing both of those two out of the water. We'll come to him (or her) later.



- Romel Beck

Beck is in the D-League, down there trying to prove to the NBA that he deserves at least 10 days in it. The one dimensional Beck is with the Dakota Wizards, averaging 16.2 points, 3.9 rebounds, 2.7 turnovers and 1.8 assists. The rebounding numbers are unusually high for a man who normally gets about 2 a game, so we'll see if that continues.



- Mirza Begic

Mirza Begic went undrafted in 2007. That's kind of amazing, because he's 7'3, and pretty much all 6'11 Eastern European guys who get a few minutes on the benches of Adriatic league teams get picked in the second round somewhere. (It's true. Ask Edin Bavcic.) Maybe Begic should have been drafted, however, as he's now a decent Euroleague centre. Begic's averages are listed below in a different form to usual.

1) 20.9 minutes, 7.6 points, 4.1 rebounds, 2.6 fouls, 1.1 blocks per game = Euroleague (the club competition that sees the best teams from across the whole of Europe competing)

2) 16.3 minutes, 5.3 poiints, 3.3 rebounds, 2.3 fouls, 0.8 blocks per game = VTB United League (the club competition that sees the best teams from only Eastern Europe competing)

3) 17.3 minutes, 8.9 points, 4.8 rebounds, 1.9 fouls, 1.4 blocks per game = Baltic League (the club competition that sees the best teams from only Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania competing)

4) 14.0 minutes, 5.4 points, 3.7 reboundsm 2.4 fouls, 1.4 blocks per game = Lithuanian League (the Lithuanian league).


A bit confusing, really. A post explaining stuff like that to non-Europeans was requested a while ago, and is nearly finished.



- Troy Bell

Troy Bell is spending his second season with Vanoli in Italy. Last year he helped them get promoted from LegaDue to SerieA, averaging 21 points, 4 rebounds and 3 assists on the way. This year he's not found it as easy, with his numbers dropping to 14.7 points, 3.2 rebounds, 1.0 assists and 1.8 steals per game. That's still pretty good, though. Bell plays the shooting guard position in Italy alongside point guard E.J. Rowland, another man with a debatable Bulgarian passport. It's easier to start a 6'2/6'1 backcourt in Italy than it is in the NBA.



- Rod Benson

As ever, Rod Benson is in the D-League, waiting for a call-up. I wonder how much money he's earned from his non-basketball endeavours over the last three years, because he sure as hell won't have made much by playing in the D-League three times. This season, Benson is averaging 14.2 points, 7.8 rebounds, 1.9 assists, 2.2 steals and 1.8 blocks per game, whilst ranking in the 100th percentile in post defense according to Synergy Sports. It would help his NBA chances if his free throw percentage (.542%) wasn't so damn close to his field goal percentage (.528%), but the other numbers in only 32 minutes per game are hard to fault.

This week, he quit blogging for Yahoo Sports, having decided that he had said Too Much.



- Lee Benson

Benson was in China last year, and of all the people to put up outrageous statistics there, his might have been the best; 34.1 ppg, 18.8 rpg, 5.6 apg, 2.0 bpg. As 36 year old athletic shot chucking former prisoners go, Benson is pretty bloody good. He looked like he was going to re-sign in China this year too, but, as far as my crude Google translations can tell, Shanxi passed up on re-signing him due to his astronomical wage demands. Any man with those statistics can ask for a big payday, but Shanxi didn't appear to be happy with the way that he got them. You have to dominate the ball pretty freaking muchly to put up numbers like those, and to shoot 7 three pointers a game at only 30% isn't the best idea either. Still, it's great fun for us spectators.

I was very happy about that "Too Much" gag, by the way.


Finally...

- Travis Best

Best signed this season with Martos Napoli, a SerieA team that came into being this summer when former team Solsonica Rieti changed both their city and their sponsor. He joined fellow Americans Kevin Kruger, Damon Jones and Robert Traylor there, increasing the ex-NBA lilt that was designed to make the interesting. It kind of worked. Even Lance Allred was there for a while. But none of it seemed to help on the court, as Napoli trickled out to an 0-10 start. Despite the big name midseason acquisitions of Best and Jones, they kept on losing. And the players weren't getting paid either.

At 0-10, things managed to get worse. The club officially ran out of money, and players started to leave, Kruger amongst them. Another loss followed before Christmas, at which point all the first team players went home to their families. They never came back. In their first game after Christmas, on Sunday evening, Napoli could only fielded their youth team players, inexperienced and undertalented 17 year olds going against one of the better teams in one of the world's best leagues. They played Angellico Biella in that game, and lost 124-54. That's not a typo; they lost by 70 points in a SerieA game. A 40 minute SerieA game. Nothing has been resolved in the mean time; no new sponsors have come in, no new money has been found, and no players have come back. If they're able to do business next SUnday, they're up against Lottomattica Roma, and things should go much the same way as the 70 point annihilation. Even if they somehow do the impossible, stave off a winding-up order and play out the season, they're screwed.

(If you wish to become Napoli's new sponsor, why not use their sponsors email account? Please give two pounds a month, or whatever you can afford.)

For what it's worth, which is nothing, Best totalled 11 points and 3 assists in 61 minutes.

Summer league round-up: Houston Rockets

View the Rockets summer league roster.

- Hassan Adams: Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo struck gold in 2007 when he signed Jamario Moon right at the start of free agency, after a fine performance in a Raptors mini-camp. In 2008, he went for it again with Hassan Adams...and he struck out. He signed Adams to a guaranteed contract in July, then watched on as Adams (perhaps complacent due to the guaranteed money) showed up out of shape and with as few ball skills as ever. Adams was later salary dumped onto the Clippers, who cut him.

After that, Adams went to Serbia to play for Vojvodina Srbija Gas Novi Sad, a team that badly needs its name abridging if it's to make any catchy jingles. He totalled 11 points in 2 games before leaving in what I believe was acrimonious circumstances. He won't make the Rockets roster; they didn't sign Trevor Ariza, turn down Von Wafer's advances and spend all that money on Jermaine Taylor just to let Saddam take their roster spot. But it's nice to see him again anyway.

- Rodrique Benson: Rod Benson had a great year in 2007-08, starting out in the Nets training camp, then going to the D-League and leading it in rebounds. But 2008-09 was far crapper: Benson went to France and signed with Nancy, but averaged only 2.3/2.3 in 8 games before being released. He returned to the D-League, and averaged 7.3 points and 6.0 rebounds for the Dakota Wizards, before being traded to the Reno Bighorns (giggidy) where he averaged a far better 16.6 points, 8.5 rebounds and 2.5 blocks.

Rod Benson fact: I accidentally typoed Rod Benson's name while compiling this post, and in doing so I stumbled across a Florida International University female player called Liene Bernsone, who is as Latvian as her name suggests. If you like girls, you might like her.


And here is her team mate, the equally Latvian Lasma Jekabsone:


So that's why Isiah's working at FIU for free; the bevy of Latvian hotties. Fair play to him.

- Chase Budinger: Budinger is but one other on my list of "Players I would totally have rather the Bulls had drafted instead of Taj Gibson at #26," an increasingly long list that's getting a bit extreme and now includes Levance Fields and Byron Eaton. I will get over it eventually, though. (Think of it as a good thing though, Taj. The less I expect of you, the more I'm going to like it when you turn out to be brilliant. And you will. Never forget that. If I have no expectations for you, they can't be dashed. You're like the anti-Eddy Curry. Make me love you.)

- Will Conroy: Conroy put up lots of everything for the Albuquerque Thunderbirds in the D-League last year. 49 games, 44.7 mpg (lead the league), 26.5 ppg (also lead the league), 8.0 apg (5th), 4.8 rpg, 2.0 spg, 4.20 topg. He stuffed that CV like a CV stuffing bitch. And it's a shame that it's more than likely only getting him as far as Spain. But still. A good effort. Have some time off, you must be knackered.

- Marcus Cousin: Cousin averaged 10.9 points, 8.4 rebounds and 2.1 blocks per game for Houston last year, That's the University of Houston, though, not the Rockets. Those are good numbers. Shame about the crap conference that they came in. Mind you, Robert Loggia got drafted while getting slightly worse numbers in the exact same conference. And he's a lot smaller. So that makes total sense.

- Joey Dorsey: Dorsey's rookie year was pretty crap. He signed late -not before losing a game that he wasn't even in - yet ended up getting a way bigger than usual contract for a second rounder. Then it went downhill; Dorsey played all of 6 minutes for Rockets last year, and spent only 7 games in the D-League,. Down there, he played disinterested and largely sucked, averaging 9.7 points and 9.0 rebounds per game, which are pretty tame numbers in relative terms. He's also going to turn 26 later this year, which makes him 18 months older than Darko Milicic. And we all know how much potential he has - none. Still, there's some good news; someone wrote a fluff piece, and his contract isn't guaranteed after this season. So that's something.

- Charles Gaines: Gaines got a training camp contract with the Spurs to start the year, and after getting waived he was assigned to their D-League affiliate, the Austin Toros. The D-League is a slightly strange place for a 27 year old to go, and Gaines perhaps unsurprisingly beasted, averaging 14.9 points and 10.3 rebounds a game. He left before the end of the season to sign with Israeli powerhouse Maccabi Tel Aviv, for whom he averaged 8.0ppg and 6.4rpg. He won't win a roster spot.

- Mike Green: Green played for the Cavaliers summer league team last year, where he started at point guard, took lots of shots and shot 30%. Can't say I was duly impressed, really. More impressive was his follow-up season in Turkey, where he averaged 11.6 points, 4.1 rebounds and 4.4 assists for Antalya, but he shot only 31% from three point range, again in love with his sub par jumpshot. Hone that, and we'll talk.

- Maarty Leunen: Leunen, a draft pick of the Rockets last year, also spent the season in Turkey, playing for the immortally named Darussafaka C.Tires Istanbul. There, he averaged 31 minutes, 12.1 points and 6.2 rebounds per game, shooting 44% from two point range and 44% from three point range. And he took a whole lot more threes than twos. If there was ever an outside chance of Leunen making the Rockets roster this year - and there wasn't, really - then the incumbent Brian Cook just took it away from him.

- Brad Newley: Another unsigned Rockets second rounder, this time from 2007, Newley has spent the two years since being drafted in Greece. Last year, he moved from Panionios to Panellinios, although it's plausible that he just boarded the wrong bus or something and no one sought to correct him. Newley averaged 10.4 points and 3.1 assists in 24 minutes a game, but his jumpshot wasn't really with him all year. He, like Adams, has very little chance of making the team this year, partly due to this next guy.

- Jermaine Taylor: The Rockets bought Taylor's rights on draft night for $2.5 million, which is a hell of a lot of money to give up for a second round pick, even a high 30's one. As a result, I think you can pretty much go ahead and assume that he's making the team.

- Garrett Temple: Temple was the tall point guard to Marcus Thornton's undersized shooting guard, and averaged 7.1 points, 4.5 rebounds and 3.8 assists in his senior season. For some reason, I have a bit of a thing with offensively challenged tall combo guards who want to be point guards - see also, my views on Cedric Bozeman - but the fact that Temple didn't shoot over 40% in any of the four years of his college career means that his NBA prospects don't really exist.

- Darryl Watkins: Darryl Watkins's middle name is "Finesse", but don't read too much into that. Like Gaines, he went to camp with the Spurs last year, but didn't make the cut, and spent the rest of the year in China, averaging roughly 20/14. Good numbers, but it is China.

- James White: White has an unguaranteed contract with the Rockets for next season, and, if they're truly going to go young (and I don't see as though they have a choice), then the arrival of Ariza won't necessarily be the death of White. Nor will Budinger, either.

Views on NBA stuff will come soon. Really.

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 5

- Esteban Batista was recently released by Maccabi Tel-Aviv by mutual consent, after barely playing for their new coach, Pini Gershon. His playing time was so sparse that he wasn't even travelling with the team towards the end of his stay. Batista quickly became Nenad Krstic's targeted replacement for Triumph Libby Kennedy in Russia, but never signed with the team (despite reports that he did) due to his dislike of the cold Russian weather. The pussy. For Maccabi, Batista averaged 3.6 points and 2.6 rebounds in Euroleague play.

- Former Grizzly Mike Batiste has fashioned a career as one of the better players in Europe. He is now into his sixth season with Panathinaikos, averaging team highs in points (12.6) and rebounds (4.), while shooting an amazing 74% from the field. Somewhere along the line, Batiste also managed to become a Bulgarian citizen. I have no idea how he did this.

- Sixers draft pick Edin Bavcic signed this very week with the Koeln 99ers in Germany, thus halfway to proving that my tenuous no-return-to-the-NBA-from-the-German-league allegation is, once again, ill-founded and stupid. Unfortunately for E-Bav, the other half of that claim - getting to the NBA - is going to be a lot harder to achieve.

- Lonny Baxter is out of jail and playing for Panionios in Greece. (Note: if a team name starts with P and has no E's in it, it's probably Greek.) He averages team highs in points (13.1) and rebounds (6.7).

- Jerome Beasley has played basically everywhere since falling out of the NBA. Since being waived by the Miami Heat in late 2004, Beasley has played in the CBA, Turkey, Spain, Poland, the D-League, Australia, the D-League again, Venezuela, the Dominican Republic, Spain again, and Israel. Now, he finds himself in that most fabled of basketball powerhouses, Holland, where he averages 16.6 points and 8.3 rebounds for the Eiffel Towers Den Bosch. Someone once told me why they were called the Eiffel Towers. All I remember is that it was better not knowing.

- Sani Becirovic averages 10.9 points, 3.0 rebounds, 3.8 assists and 3.0 steals for Lottomatica Roma in Italy. However, unless you're a Denver Nuggets fan, you might be more interested in who his backup is - Brandon Jennings. But I won't spoil the suspense and tell you how well Jennings is doing - give it six weeks, and this series of posts will have reached the letter J. At that point, we can do the damn thing.

- Mirza Begic is a big old Bosnian who went undrafted back in 2007. But that doesn't mean he's no good. Playing for Union Olimpija Ljubljana in Slovenia (also a Euroleague team), Begic has averaged 10.4 points, 6.0 rebounds and 1.6 blocks in Euroleague play, as well as 9.0 points, 4.5 rebounds and 2.4 blocks in Adriatic League player. What you have there is a 23 year old late blooming 7'2 shot blocker, with some offensive talent, playing well against one of the higher standards of professional basketball around. If this man is not at least on your radar, then your radar's broke.

- Troy Bell is playing in the Italian second division with Vanoli Soresina (which to me sounds both a dermatological problem, and the brand name of the cream to cure it). Playing alongside rather unimpressive competition, Bell averages 19.5 points, 4.1 rebounds and 3.4 steals per game, while shooting 34$ from three point range, which may or may not be evidence of an upward trend with regards to his jumpshot. Bell also averages 1.1 assists per game, which is exactly the number that your 6'1 point guard would have. Any less, and he'd just be being greedy.

- Jonathan Bender is still retired, and probably always will be. But he's not inactive - he has a charitable organisation (the Jonathan Bender foundation) and an entrepeneurshippy thing (Jonathan Bender Enterprises, a real estate development and property management company). Both of those organisations are based in New Orleans, helping to restore the city's infrastructure. Bender also owns an Italian wine company, a record label, an island in the Carribean, multiple real estate holdings, and is trying to patent a fitness device called "Bender Bands". (Buy one, just for the name alone.) This comes from a man who was drafted straight out of high school.

- Rod Benson went to France, barely played, and has subsequently returned to the D-League with the Dakota Wizards. And now, I will make the joke that I made last week one more time: I guess Nancy had had too much Rod Benson!!!! (You had better give that the laughter that it deserves.)

- Travis Best said that it would be his last season. He said that three seasons ago while leaving the NBA for Europe. He clearly lied, or couldn't shift the Euro bug, because he's still playing, now on his fourth European team. For Air Avellino, playing alongside Tamar Slay and Eric Williams (the Wake Forest centre, not the old arsed ex-Celtic forward), Best averages 10.0 points, 3.7 assists and 2.5 steals, useful numbers from an old man.

- Finally, and most importantly, English ledge Andy Betts is alarmingly unsigned. This needs to change, as does my habit of starting every last entry with the word "finally".

Summer signings, round 21

This edition of our fun and voluptuous Summer Signings is highlighted by the fact that there's almost no one in it that you've ever heard of. If all the players in this list get into 80 NBA games combined next season, I will be shocked. In fact, I'll be justifiably flummoxed if even three of them make a roster. It's a sparse'un this time. Onward.

- Casey Jacobsen has signed with ALBA Berlin in Germany. In a previous blog post, I asked semi-mockingly for someone to do some research into which players have been to the German league and still been able to come back to the NBA. Two people mentioned Jacobsen, who was the German league finals NBA in 2007 before spending last season on the bench for the Memphis Grizzlies. This move completes the Grizzly German sandwich (giggidy), but it doesn't really undermine my insinuation that the German league is a bit shit, does it? Casey Jacobsen is all right, but a fringe NBA player. In between these two German stints, he scored 107 points on 115 shots in the NBA, as his jumpshot decided to take the year off. And now he's gone back to Germany where he'll probably star once again and become a champion of the serfs. What does this say about the German league? Basically nothing more than what I've already implied - it's a bit weak.

By the way, one of the two people who told me about C-Jake was an agent, who shall remain nameless. In Googling to see whether this nameless man is, or has even been, Casey Jacsobsen's agent, I found this search result:

"casey jacobsen girlfriend ipmessage lolita masturbation free pregnant women having sex"

So, something for everyone there.


- In a bizarre move, the likes of which have never previously been seen as interesting, the Suns and the Rockets swapped young guards D.J. Strawberry and Sean Singletary. This move is interesting (if you're a nerd) because it's a move that could save both teams money. The Rockets are trying to save money to be able to re-sign Carl Landry and Dikembe Mutombo without paying the lxury tax too much, if at all, and the Suns are trying to save money because they're the Suns. So in this deal, they may have both found what they were looking for. With the minimum of 13 players under contract once Goran Dragic officially signs his deal, the Suns depth chart is pretty much done, and Strawberry figured to be the last man on it again. However, as a second year player, he was to earn the minimum of $711,517, whereas a rookie on the minumum would earn only $442,114. Therefore, swapping Strawberry and Singletary saves the Suns the difference between those two sums ($269,403), doubled for tax ($538,806), and yet they lose nothing on the court, because neither player is going to take it. (Note: Singletary's salary is only partially guaranteed, contrary to what it says elsewhere on this webshite, but he'll make the team anyway, because if he doesn't, they'll have to pay someone else as well.) The Rockets meanwhile take on the more expensive player, but Strawberry's contract is not guaranteed, and so they save the whole of Singletary's salary, while also losing nothing on the court. It's all very interesting stuff if you're the kind of person that will forego a social life and regular sex in order to reinvest that time into calculating Greg Buckner's trade kicker.

(Note: If the Rockets keep Strawberry, then forget I said anything.)


- Joe Crawford has signed with the Lakers for training camp where he can once again do what he did in summer league and outplay Coby Karl. While challenging Tim Duncan to a fight.

- Kaniel Dickens has signed with Napoli, in Italy. See how obsure the list is this time around? Kaniel Dickens represents one of the bigger name players on it. At least he actually played in the NBA last year. That's more than what this next fella did.

- Mario Kasun and Barcelona have mutually agreed to terminate his contract. I don't know why, but we can speculate wildly. Maybe he doesn't think he was being paid enough. Maybe he wasn't getting enough minutes, in his own opinion. Or maybe he had a fight with Andre Barrett. Actually, yeah, it's that.

- Orien Greene has signed for MyGuide Amsterdam. And, if anyone out there should need a guide to Amsterdam....start with the cafes, follow the stench of sex, and work backwards. Soon enough you'll find a 70 year old woman seated in a shop's front window dressed in nothing but stockings and a suspender belt, knitting. As national identities go, it certainly pisses our one of fish and chips, Amy Winehouse, an arbitrary powerless monarchy and drizzle.

- Rod Benson has signed with SLUC Nancy in France. I don't know what the SLUC stands for, but if you change the last letter slightly and put it all in lower case while still suffixed with "Nancy", then it makes for quite a realistic soubriquet for the aforementioned 70 year old woman seated in a shop's front window dressed in nothing but stockings and a suspender belt, knitting.

- Sean Marks has signed for the New Orleans Hornets. How the hell does he do it? He's not a bad player by any means, but...well, he's never really done anything, has he? And yet he's now about to start the ninth year of his NBA career. 8 years, 127 games, 391 points, and still more offers of work. Just doesn't make sense. But fair play to him nonetheless.

- Memphis signed Hamed Haddadi, the only player in the Olympics to average a double double. Another fine move by a fine organisation.

- The trail blazing Portland Trail Blazers signed their 15th, 16th and 17th men in Luke Jackson, Steven Hill and Jamaal Tatum, albeit not necessarily in that order. I have already rambled about Jackson, and have nothing to say about the other two, so that's the end of that torrent of NBA insight. Quick! We're near the end!

- And finally, former Clippers guard and ABA journeyman Fred Vinson has returned to the Clippers as an assistant coach. After reading about this news, I faffed about for a while, and then went to bed. Yet clearly the news had a lasting effect on me, because I then proceeded to dream about Fred Vinson. I dreamt that me, Fred Vinson and Fred Vinson's wife, Mrs Fred Vinson (I don't even know if she exists) were out to dinner in a restaurant. The three of us were huddled around a table designed only for two. I had a steak diane, Mrs Fred Vinson had soup, and Fred Vinson had a largely undistinguished plate of brown. There was laughter, merriment, and much guffawery. I can't remember a single topic of conversation, but dammit, it doesn't matter. The important thing is that I dreamt that I was out to dinner with Fred Vinson.

You don't want to be like me when you grow up.

Channing Frye's blog

Is worth visiting at least once.

I prayed to God for a miracle and what happened? Free internet in the PDX airport. The time blew by. I looked at all the funny videos from the letter-opening bunny to the daily condensed soup, which I recommend for everyone to watch — it’s hilarious.

I get on the plane sit in my nice comfortable 1st class seat and to my dismay the “bubble gut monster” arose his bubbly badness inside my stomach. What I mean is that I had to lay down a huge fart. If we were outside in the woods or maybe at an all-guys party I would have tore a hole in the universe but I had to hold it. Too many people too soon and I knew it was gonna smell.

Et cetera.

All I ask for from NBA players is a semblance of personality. It's a small ask, yet one often unfulfilled by people professionally trained to be dull and boring. A small bit of personality goes a long way, particularly if you aren't very good. If you're likeable as a person, then by proxy you're more likeable as a player. This theory worked on me for Paul Shirley, Scot Pollard, Mark Pope, Andrew Bogut, Rod Benson, Yao Ming, Jalen Rose, Rasheed Wallace, Jonny Gomes, and even Ron Artest. In my book, you gain invauable bonus points for just not being dull. (Let it be known, though, that you will also lose said points for all animal cruelty charges accrued. So that definitely counts against Ron.)

Similarly, if you're completely humourless, the chances are that I won't even try to enjoy watching you play. This is why I'm always quick to defoul Josh Smith, try to avoid Cavaliers games, and why the Derrick Rose era doesn't hearten me as much as it should. (Michael Beasley is entertaining, and he's good. Let it be known that I wanted him, while also remembering that my opinion on draftees ain't worth a damn thing.)

So every time I learn of an NBA player showing signs of a personality without a hint of remorse, I'm all for you. Well done, Mr Frye. Keep writing and not being Josh Smith.

(By the way, the above "personality = good" theory doesn't particularly apply to Gilbert Arenas. He's just interfering. Points gained for trying, points lost for being annoying.)

Where Are They Now? Part 4

Jerome Beasley is playing for Ironi Ramat Gan of the Israeli league.

Sani Becirovic, 2003 draft pick of the Denver Nuggets, is forming a three headed European-guards-who-couldn't-quite-cut-it-in-the-NBA monster, along with Sarunas Jasikevicius and Vassilis Spanoulis, for Panathinaikos of Greece.

Mirza Begic is back playing for Olimpia Ljubljana in his native Slovenia. If that was of interest to you, congratulate yourself on being the only person interested in the career of Mirza Begic.

Troy Bell has had short stints at assorted European destinations since being waived by Memphis with his rookie contract still running, and his continued inability to shoot ensures that these stays are all short. He is currently playing with Fastweb Casale Monferrato in Italy's Lega 2. The big time awaits.

Jonathan Bender continues to wait for the onset of medical science to find a soultion to his knee cartilage problem, but he's not resting on his laurels - he's now in the philanthropy industry. What a legend.

Rod Benson is playing for the Dakota Wizards of the D-League and still writing away.

Travis Best said he was going to retire after the 2005 season, and then didn't. He continues to play in Europe, currently for La Fortezza Bologna of Italy.

Andrew Betts is still carrying the British basketball team, even if Luol Deng has rudely muscled in on his patch lately. Betts is playing for Seville, in Spain.

Joseph Blair is currently signed in Russia, for Spartak Vladivostock. And he still has two websites.

Will Blalock is playing for the Anaheim Arse of the D-League. (Due to a maturity problem, I shall refer to them as the Arse at all times, in place of their full name, Arsenal.)

LaVell Blanchard - THE LaVell Blanchard - is playing for Clermont in France. The French league is rather bad. So is LaVell Blanchard. And Clermont are stone cold last in the French ProA standings. So it all works out fine for everyone.

Corie Blount has retired and taken himself out of the NBA altogether, just like all of the greats should do.



More later.