Summer league round-up: Boston Celtics

Beginning now, there will be a series of posts detailing the summer league rosters of every NBA team this year. (Those rosters can be found here.) This is because summer league is great fun, and because the lavish descriptions of fringe NBA players gets me off. But you probably knew that already.

Maybe we'll add this to the list of things that get started and never finished. Maybe not. But on that subject, those of you who want the draft roundups finished, don't worry. They will be. It might not be until August, when things get dull again, but they will get done. You'll have your Jamie Feick news soon.

Anyhoo, let's begin this filthy bitch with the Boston Celtics, since the alphabetically superior Atlanta Hawks don't have a summer league team this year.

Their team:

- Nick Fazekas: Fazekas should be in the NBA, really. But he's not. Even though was paid $711,517 by the Mavericks last season, he wasn't on their roster, as they waived him as a concurrent part of the Jason Kidd trade eighteen months ago. This decision would have been instantly forgettable had the Mavericks not had the immortal tat of Devean George, Antoine Wright, Jerry Stackhouse and Shawne Williams on their roster last season, but anyway. Fazekas went to camp with the Nuggets last season, as did pretty much every player in the history of the game, and then spent the year with Oostende in Belgium and ASVEL in France. I'd like to think that the team that has put up with Brian Scalabrine for four years could find a spot for a similar but better player like Fazekas, but it doesn't seem likely.

- J.R. Giddens: Giddens played all of 8 minutes with the Celtics last year. There's no real need for this 24 year old non-contributor to be on the roster of a veteran team with championship aspirations, but his D-League numbers from last year (36 games, 17.2 ppg, 6.3 rpg, 3.0 apg, 1.4 bpg, 58% shooting) suggest that there might be something to pursue there. There'd better be, since they used a first rounder on him. Giddens still doesn't a jumpshot, which still doesn't help him.

- Lester Hudson: Hudson was the Celtics' only pick in the draft, 58th overall, ahead of Chinemelu Elonu and Robert Loggia. He averaged almost 28/8/4 at Tennessee Martin in his sophomore season, and averaged much the same in his freshman season as well. Kind of makes you wonder why he went to such a small program if he's that good. Hudson might make the Celtics roster, but if he doesn't and Gabe Pruitt does, then you'll know what stopped him. Don't need both, really.

- Coby Karl: Karl started last season in the D-League, averaging nearly 19 points and 6 assists for the Idaho Stampede, before leaving partway through the season to sign for DKV Joventut Badalona. He barely played in Badalona, though, and averaged less than 5 points per game. His chances of making the Celtics roster seem slim, considering Giddens is the incumbent with a guaranteed deal. Karl, an ex-Laker, was last heard of when it was reported that he was giving his dad - Nuggets coach George Karl - inside insight to the Lakers' style of play and personal before the Western Conference Finals between the two teams. This news made some Lakers fans irate, annoyed that Karl would show more loyalty than the man that brought him into this world than the team that kept him on the inactive list for a year before waiving his ass for Sun Yue. That was fun to see. NBA fans are great like that.

- Chris Lofton: Lofton went undrafted last season and didn't sign a training camp deal, instead going to Turkey and signing with a team called Mersin (also the home of Eddie Basden). There, he averaged 20.2ppg, 2.6rpg and 2.0apg, shooting almost twice as many three pointers as he did two's. Considering he shot 46.1% from three point range, that doesn't seem like a bad idea. Lofton also managed to break the Turkish league single game scoring record when he scored 61 points, making 17 three pointers in that game. This should tell you how he plays. Lofton had a workout for the Grizzlies back in May, but joined the Celtics summer league instead, despite Eddie House's presence seemingly closing the door on his chances here. Chris Lofton fact: Chris Lofton once had bollock cancer. That is all.

- Bryan Mullins: It was said that Mullins was going to join the Bulls summer league team, but that clearly didn't happen. Mullins averaged 9.3 points, 5.6 assists and 2.0 steals last year for Southern Illinois, which aren't huge numbers in a not-huge conference. He did, however, win all kinds of academic athlete awards, who majored in finance, and who had a 4.0 GPA. So if the basketball thing doesn't work out, he should still be fine for employment.

- Gabe Pruitt: Pruitt played in 47 games last year and shot 31%. The remnants of Stephon Marbury played ahead of him. To call it a tough year would be being pretty kind, especially since he got arrested for DUI somewhere in amongst that. Pruitt was drafted 32nd overall in 2007 (usually a high value position), and has a guaranteed contract for this season, but it wouldn't be a surprise if he was dumped somewhere at some point.

- Kevin Rogers: I watched Rogers quite a bit with Baylor last year (the NIT got a surprising amount of coverage over here), and I never quite figured out what it was that he was good at. He showed a reasonable outside shot, a reasonable inside game, some reasonable rebounding, the occasional nice bit of help on defense...but nothing really standyouty. If anything, he stood out at Baylor primarily because their other options as big men were Quincy Acy (clumsy and about as technically refined as a nail bomb), Josh Lomers (no discernible skills whatsoever other than being huge, white and slow with a tremendously full head of hair) and Mamadou Diene (who had about 3 minutes of stamina on his pokey knees, and the discreet touch of a drunk and horny Captain Hook touching a hedgehog's erogenous zones up while pinned against a piss-stained wheelybin). I came away with the impression that Baylor was a jack of all trades but a master of none. That works in Baylor, but not in Boston.

- Bryce Taylor: Taylor was on the Timberwolves summer league team last year, where I watched him lovingly unfurl a good jumpshot, and an efficient and pretty solid overall game with no outstanding attributes to it. Taylor spent last season with Premiata Montegrenaro in Italy's Serie A, where he averaged 13.0 points, 2.4 rebounds and 1.6 steals a game. On the down side, he also only averaged 0.5 assists in 29 minutes a game, which can't be good, even if assists are far harder to come by in Italy's slightly authoritarian scoring system.

- Mike Sweetney: WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!! Sweetney's back!!! Good times. Since his rookie contract expired as a member of the Bulls in the summer of 2007, Sweetney has not been heard from at all. He literally disappeared off the map. Wasn't even on Facebook or anything. It looked bleak. But a sighting finally came; the Boston Globe reported that he was in the crowd for Bulls/Celtics game 7 back in May, and maybe that was the precursor to this. Hopefully he's found a a way to solve his weight problems, and found what was the cause of them in the first place. I am eagerly awaiting to see what shape he's in (no circle jokes), because if he can stay under 280, he can resume an NBA career.

- Robert Swift: Swift showed some signs of life in his second year in the league. He showed some offensive talent, activity (that old chestnut) and defense mobility, and averaged roughly 6/5/1 as a 20 year old centre. And that's not bad going. Then he grew his hair out, got tatted up, started to get zany in lay-up lines, and severly screwed his knee. There followed only 8 games in two years, as the knee recovery was repeatedly set back and not helped by other injuries. Swift played last year with the Thunder on his qualifying offer, but was still only healthy/good enough to play in 21 games, averaging 3.3 points and 3.4 rebounds. Danny Ainge finally gets his man, but by this point, he's probably not going to see in Swift the very things that used to drive him wild with desire. A year in the D-League to recuperate his injuries and revive his CV wouldn't be a bad idea for Swift, if he can tolerate going from a $3 million+ salary to the mere pittance that D-Leaguers get. But I can't say his career options are particularly expansive.

- Bill Walker: The Celtics would almost anything to not play Walker last year, even after a series of injuries that made the need for an extra forward become of paramount importance. Walker appeared in only 29 games for the Celtics, averaging 7.4 minutes and 3 points. In the D-League, he played in 15 games and averaged 18.9 points, demonstrating a better-than-advertised jumpshot. He's certain to be back next season, as he's signed for three more years and next season's salary is guaranteed. I just hope that they'll value his input more this year.

- Darius Washington: Washington had a great training camp with the Bulls last year, a team who then cut him anyway. Ostensibly, this was to save money for a team very close to the tax threshold, but they went on to sign Lindsey Hunter two weeks later and kept him for the entire year. So I think they just preferred the touch of the older man. (Giggidy.) Washington took the hint and buggered off to Russia, signing for Ural Great Perm, a team whose name is so brilliant that I can't help but point it out every type it crops up. Washington averaged 13.1 points per game in the Russian league, and 16.5 in the EuroChallenge. Like Lofton, Washington worked out for the Grizzlies last month, and yet like Lofton, he came to Boston instead. Maybe they both had crap workouts. Either way, like Lofton, his chances are minimal.

Summer signings, round 25

Celery! All! Done!

- Andre Owens signed with Red Star Belgrade, which kind of answers my question about whether you'd rather have Horace Jenkins or Alex Scales . The answer is apparently neither. Good answer.

- The Lakers signed Brandon Heath for training camp. Heath did a decent job pretending to be a point guard for the Clippers' summer league team this season, and by "did a decent job", I mean "put up 3 assists and 13 turnovers in 5 games". (For what it's worth, he looked better than those numbers do. Although that's not hard.) They also signed C.J. Giles, taking their training camp roster up to 18 players already, and with an offer to Didier Ilunga-Mbenga still out there. They are also supposedly working out Jelani McCoy, so clearly they're looking for a tall crappy centre. All of this means that there's no room any more for Ira Newble, which we sorta already knew, but which this writer wants to confirm.

- Chris Quinn re-signed with the Miami Heat, and may well be the starter at point guard next year. Since winning the championship, the Heat have publicly pursued everybody, ever. From Mickael Pietrus to Smush Parker to Charlie Bell to Penny Hardaway, the Heat have made a play for everybody that has ever played the game, with almost no success on the free agency front. And now, three years into their search, their starting point guard figures to be Chris effing Quinn. This probably isn't pleasant for Heat fans. (And no offense to Chris Quinn, by the way. It's just that......you know.)

- Darryl Watkins has signed with the San Antonio Spurs for training camp, a move that brings with it no incisive follow-up comment or silly joke.

- The Cavaliers finally re-signed Delonte West to a very fair deal. Worryingly, the Cavaliers have had a pretty good offseason. They've re-signed West and Daniel Gibson for decent value, traded peripheral pap for a starter and scorer in Maurice Williams, made two good draft picks in J.J. Hickson and Darnell Jackson to reinforce their weakest position, and made a good depth signing with Tarence Kinsey. Of course, they still inexplicably signed Lorenzen Wright (if you need a veteran third string centre, fine, but NOT HIM. Jesus, not him. Jake Voskuhl's still out there, for instance, and Jake's all right), but it mostly went well. If they find a way to never let Ben Wallace take the court again, and turn Wally Szczerbiak's expiring into a talented player, they might get over the hump that they've been painfully short of lately. There you go, I've credited Danny Ferry. I will now sever my own arms.

- A post from the dark ages informed you paupers that Thunder draft pick DeVon Hardin had signed in Turkey. However, I'm now here to inform you that he's no longer signed in Turkey, for the team let him go due to a stress fracture in his right foot. That's what they do in the continent - they release you if you hurt yourself. Seems harsh.

- Gabe Muoneke was also released, by Asvel in France, but not because of injury. Apparently he didn't "fit" the team's "profile". So it would appear that Asvel think they have room to be choosy when it comes to signing fringe NBA players.

- In spite of the fact that this is ostensibly a list of 'signings', the last two entries were the opposite of that, and this one makes three straight. More than once (i.e. twice), I have made reference to the ongoing Jumaine Jones saga. For those uninformed, Jones somehow managed to sign with two teams at the same time, causing a legal battle. This saga has now been resolved - Jones has been suspended by FIBA for a year, and since FIBA and the NBA respect each other's contracts and suspensions, this means that Jones is now out of basketball for a year, a worrisome proposition for a 29 year old with NBA aspirations. Bad times.

- And now, some signings. Big signings, at that. Ken Johnson has signed with Telekom Baskets Bonn in Germany. Take a minute to let that sink in.

- The Orlando Magic found their third string point guard of dreams in Mike Wilks, while Pat Garrity officially announced his retirement. Mike Wilks should have been in the NBA last year, and Pat Garrity shouldn't, so this is justice more than anything. God speed, Pat Garrity, and all who sail within you.

- Robert Swift re-signed with Oklahoma City, taking his qualifying offer of three and a bit million dollars. This was a good idea for a man who has played 8 games in the last two years and who still hasn't recovered from an incredibly bad knee injury. I hope Robert Swift gets healthy, by the way. He was getting somewhere as a player.

- Steve Castleberry signed with Podebrady Sadska in the Czech Republic. Right now, you're probably thinking "who the fuck is Steve Castleberry?" It's a good argument, well constructed.

- And finally, some bonus trivia. Former Mavericks guard Jon Stefansson has gone back to Iceland, signing with KR Reykjavik and thereby foregoing a decent basketball career. Also, another former Maverick, forward Ruben Wolkowyski, has been offered a contract by Spanish team Fuenlabrada. Ruben Wolkowyski is easily the worst player I have ever seen in my life, and I've seen Steve Goodrich. And Steve Goodrich wasn't good. Or rich.

More importantly, Shawn Kemp has arrived with his new Italian team, Montegranaro, and now we get to see what shape he's in. The answer is....not bad.


Photo courtesy of whoever took it, and used without permission.

Justin Williams's rape accusation

As you probably heard about, Sacramento Kings big man Justin Williams has been accused of drugging and raping a woman that he met at a party at his house last week. If you didn't know that, you heard it here first!, which is not really a good thing.

It seems a particularly noteworthy rape accusation towards and NBA player to chronicle, though, for it has a certain facet to it that no previos accusation has had. This new wrinkle is the fact that Williams, apparently, has "proof" that there no rape going on, as told to us by Williams's lawyer:

The truth is nothing happened that night that was not consensual, and we have proof of it," William J. Portanova, Williams' lawyer, told the Sacramento Bee. "While some people may find it distasteful to think about it, it's a reality of 21st-century life."

Hmmm, OK.

So let's assume the obvious for a moment here, and assume that Williams's "proof" is a video tape of some sort, of this encounter of some sort. That seems to be pretty certainly what it's going to be, unless somebody can think of another 21st Century way of proving consensual sexual encounters. (In the 18th century, they had paintings. True story.)

This poses a few posers.

1) If the woman knew she was being filmed, how can a girl cry rape when she's having consensual sex, consensually, on camera?

2) If she DIDN'T know she was being filmed, is Williams not commiting a serious crime by covertly filming her like this? Just because she has consented to taking it in the ass, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is totally cool with the idea of being filmed doing it. And even though it's his house, is there not a human rights issue going on there?

3) Is it normal for an NBA player to be picking up floozies for fun and frolics at a house party attended by numerous employees of the team he is playing for? Even for a team owned by the Maloof brothers?

Also, when are we going to see the first NBA sex tape, and how have we come this far (so to speak) without one to date (so to speak)? And, when the inevitable does come out (so to speak), who will be the one to do it (so to speak)?


My money is on Robert Swift. That bastard is crazy enough to do it. I originally thought it might be Ron Artest, but he'd just film himself posing nude or something. Swift, though, might do it. He seems sufficiently confident. Also, there's no doubt that he's ploughing his way through some serious tofu, so you know the opportunity is there. Have you seen the guy lately?




Sexayyyyy.

(Dennis Rodman doesn't count, by the way. First, he's not in the NBA any more, and second, it's tooooooo obvious.)