Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 58

Be warned. This is the penultimate entry. (Giggidy.) If you feel like killing yourself after this, I can't really stop you, and I'm not sure I'd even advise against it.

- Donell Williams is a training camp signing of the Clippers in 2007 who hasn't done anything of note before or since. A 28 year old 6'3 guard, Williams spent his first two collegiate years at West Los Angeles Community College, before transferring to Fayetteville State for his final two years, averaging 15.7 points and 6.0 rebounds in his senior year, 2004-05. D-Will then went back to school for the 2005-06 season to complete his degree, even though he wasn't eligible to play for the basketball team. The following season, his basketball career finally started, with Williams now aged 26. Williams played in the 2006 JBL Pro-Am League, an incredibly unheard-of American minor league that takes place between April and May, in which he averaged 27 ppg, 16 rpg and 5 apg. He then did nothing for the next 16 months, between May 2006 and October 2007. And then he was somehow signed by the Clippers. After unsurprisingly not making the team, Williams went to the D-League, totalled 38 points and 21 rebounds in 18 games with the Bakersfield Jam, and was waived in January 2008. He hasn't played anywhere since.

Of all the random training camp signings we've had over the years - Brad Stricker, Ondrej Starosta, Rashid Byrd, Ajani Williams, etc - I think this one is the most random.

- Corliss Williamson retired in the 2007 offseason and became an assistant coach at Arkansas Baptist College. Whether he's still there or not, I can't tell. Here's a story he's in from a reunion of the 1994 Arkansas Razorbacks.

- Kevin Willis is now 46, and presumably not going to make another comeback. Then again, we fell for that once before. According to this story from October, Willis was running a custom jeans company called Willis & Walker. However, the company's website no longer exists, which doesn't bode well.

- Roderick Wilmont started the year with Solsonica Rieti in Italy, totalling 13 points and 10 fouls in three games, before moving to join Aliaga Petkim in Turkey. Wilmont has averaged 11.0 points and 2.4 rebounds in 20 games in the Turkish league.

- Kennedy Winston did the opposite, starting in Turkey and then leaving. K-Win averaged only 6.2 points and 3.3 rebounds in 16 games for Turk Telekom, before landing a plush gig at Real Madrid as the replacement for Quinton Hosley. Winston has totalled 6 and 3 in his two games there.

- DaShaun Wood averages 5.6 points, 2.1 rebounds and 3.5 assists for Benetton Treviso in the Eurocup. He has barely played for the team in the Italian league, presumably due to some rules limiting the amount of foreigner or something, but he has totalled 23 points, 20 assists and 18 rebounds in the 5 games he has played there.

- Loren Woods - the original L Train, so screw you Austin Carr - was waived by the Rockets this offseason due to a combination of their eternal tightness, the need for roster spots, and his overwhelming mediocrity. He then signed in Lithuania for Zalgiris Kaunsas, and averaged 12.3 points, 9.0 rebounds and 2.4 blocks in the Euroleague, 8.4/5.8/1.4 in the Lithuanian league, and 7.8/8.5/1.5 in the Baltic league. He left the club in December after the near-bankrupt team released all its foreign players in a bid to stay solvent. Woods then signed in Zaragoza (a Spanish city with a tiny airport, albeit with a funky roof), and has averaged 13.0 points and 10.0 rebounds in his two games for the team. To think that I passed within a few miles of Loren Woods recently and didn't know about it. Oh the shame.

- Qyntel Woods started the season with Fortitudo Bologna, and averaged 12.9 points, 3.9 rebounds and 3.0 steals per game in the Italian league, alongside 14.3 ppg and 4.3 rpg in the Eurocup. He then left in January and signed with Prokom Sopot, for whom he has averaged 11.3 points and 3.7 rebounds in the Polish league, alongside 12.2 points and 3.0 rebounds in the Euroleague.

- Bracey Wright started the year with DKV Joventut Badalona, where he averaged 14.0 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.6 assists in the Spanish league, alongside 12.1 points and 2.8 rebounds in the Euroleague, before being released by the team at the start of the year after he missed a few games due to "family issues". A bit of a soap opera then unfolded; it was widely reported that Wright had signed with KK Zadar in Croatia, but he hadn't, and he eventually re-signed with the team he played for last year, Aris Thessaloniki. However, that was 6 weeks ago, and Wright still hasn't played for them yet due to conditioning problems. This article says that the team might replace him.

- Finally, former Pacers draft pick Rashad Wright is in Germany, playing for ALBA Berlin, a team absolutely stacked with Americans who managed to make it impressively far in this year's Euroleague before becoming completely overmatched. Wright averaged 8.8 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.4 assists in Euroleague play, along with 8.3 points, 3.3 rebounds and 2.3 assists in the German league, while being part of a fearsome backcourt rotation that also features Casey Jacobsen, Immy McElroy and Julius Jenkins. Yeahhh, you're quaking.

Summer signings, round 7

- In round 3, I set your collective minds at ease about the whereabouts of shaven headed corner lingerer, Jumaine Jones. I told you that he had signed in Italy. But apparently that's not the end of the matter. In a rather unique tale, Jumaine's two agents appear to have simultaneously agreed to two seperate contracts with two different teams in two different countries. Jones has seemingly agreed to sign with both Milano in Italy and with a team called Ural Great Perm in Russia. (Great name. A great name. Great perm, too.) I don't think there's any precedent for knowing quite what happens in situations such as this, so it's FIBA's problem now. Good stuff, though.

- On the off-chance that you can remember who Rashad Wright is - a Pacers secound rounder from 2004 who never made the NBA - then you'll be horny when you hear that he has signed with ALBA Berlin in Germany, after last played for Efes Pfilsen in Turkey. For those unaware....that's a backwards step. (No offense to ALBA Berlin fans. But it is. You know?)

- In news that I know will excite at least one reader of this website, former humoursly bad NBA player Reece Gaines has signed for Angelico Biella in Italy. I don't know who she is, but she sounds hot. I made that joke once before, and I shall continue to use it every time the name Angelico Biella crops up, because I'm unoriginal like that. (If you've never received a "hey, do you know what's happened to Reece Gaines?" email in your life, then you're missing out. Ask nicely and I'll write you one. Maybe.)

- Loukas Mavrokefalidis remains in Greece, going from Olympiakos to Maroussi Costa Coffee, where he'll join none other than Andreas Glyniadakis. Try spelling that frontcourt while shitfaced on Mescaline. Can't be done.

- Jorge Garbajosa did indeed sign with Khimky, as thread in a previous blog post. I guess the leg's better now, eh?

- Just In Cage has signed with Belgacom Liege in Belgium (or, specifically, in Liege in Belgium). This news may interest you if you are a Bulls fan - Cage played mediocrely for the Bulls summer league team last season, but was invited to training camp anyway, where he didn't last for very long. However, at some point between the two events, David Thorpe (who was working with Cage in some capacity) wrote a glowing commendation of Cage's hero-like basketball abilities. Certain Bulls fans bought into that, and began planning the franchise's entire direction around the formidable Justin "Magical" Cage. So news of hsi signing in the Belgian league will piss on those people's chips.

- Another Bulls summer league and former Spur, Keith Langford, is on the cusp of signing for Bologna in Italy. That's all I have to say about that. And now onto news about actual NBA players.

- The Spurs re-signed Kurt Thomas, and also signed Creighton's finest Anthony Tolliver. It has to be said that, while everyone's talking about the potential juicy goodness of the 2010 free agency class, no one has talked about the Spurs's potential impact on it. They do, after all, have only two players under contract that summer, and even though Manu Ginobili will be a free agent that summer, the Spurs have enough room to give him an extension and still be able to throw an arseload of cheese at a big name player. They'll have only the merest bare bones of a squad, but an aging foursome of Ginobili, Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and, say, Dirk Nowitzki....well, you'd have to respect that, even if the other 9 players are on minimum salary contracts. Which they'd probably have to be. (Note: given the way things work in the NBA, this scenario will prove to impossible within next to no time. Either Dirk will sign an extension, the salary cap won't increase as expected, or the Spurs will spend money on multiple lesser players. Or the franchise will fold. Or all four of those things. This is why I don't make predictions any more - they suck and are hard. Giggidy.)

- Sebastian Telfair re-signed with the Minnesota Timberwolves, after a 'breakout' season in which he shot 40%.

- The Detroit Pistons are to sign Will Bynum, which could be amusing if Lindsey Hunter sticks around for another season. Imagine looking down that bench for a point guard who can hit a jumpshot. Good luck.

- Ricky Davis is the latest reasonably big name NBA player to be offered a disproportionally huge amount of money from Greek club Olympiakos as a replacement for Loukas Mavrokefalidis...........

- .....And Josh Childress did go to Olympiakos after all. Good on you, sir.