Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 3

Meant to make a great "Hack-A-Shag" joke in the last post, and forgot. Never mind. We'll save it for next year.


- Kenny Anderson

Anderson has not played since the 2005-06 season. His NBA career ended the year before, when he split the 2004/05 season between the Hawks and the Clippers, and after being waived by L.A. in March 2005, a 10 month wait ensued. Anderson then joined legendary Lithuanian team Zalgiris Kaunas for the rest of the season. It was the first and only non-NBA gig of his professional career. Chibbs averaged 2.4 points and 1.6 assists in the Euroleague alongside 5.9 points and 2.8 assists in the Lithuanian league, and then that was the end of his playing career.

In between those last two playing gigs, he was declared bankrupt.

The last time we checked in on Anderson, he had been named the head coach of the CBA's Atlanta Krunk. It was all supposed to be brilliant; for the 2007-08 season, the team hired Anderson as head coach, hired Kenny Smith's brother Vincent as the general manager, signed Grayson Boucher (And-1's "The Professor") and minor league superhero Zach Marbury (Stephon's brother) as a backcourt, announced Freedom Williams of C&C Music Factory fame as the majority owner, brought on Stephon's clothing company to be the team's uniform designers, and started shooting a reality TV show about the team. It was all supposed to be awesome. And then it wasn't. In their only CBA season, the Krunk went 9-41, a loss total which included 9 forfeits. Players were not being paid - at one point, the team was down to as few as five players as everyone kept bailing on them due to the lack of salaries. Their home arena was deemed unsuitable, so they had to play all their games down the stretch of the season on the road, and they also had no uniforms. To say it went a bit tits up sells it a bit short. I'm surprised they saw through the season.

The team was resold to new owners, moved to the PBL for the 2008-09 season, and changed its name and location to the Augusta Groove. They played one more average season, finishing 10-10, but had more financial troubles and folded. Anderson was there only for year one.

After it all went south, Anderson joined a clinic run by the NBA for retired players looking to begin coaching careers. At some point, he was also the coach of a SlamBall team. He is currently studying (not coaching) at St. Thomas's University in Miami, and is hireable for both speaking engagements and running workouts.

Anderson is also a very active Twat (Twitterer). Follow him here.



- Shandon Anderson

Shandon Anderson was covered in the 1996 draft round-up thing that was written back in September. Or rather, he wasn't covered at all, because there was nothing to say. In amongst all the talk about Travis Knight's hair and penis, I wrote this:

The Knicks finally got rid of Shanderson in 2004, over three years after the pointless Ewing trade that brought him in in the first place. Shandon then spent two years with the Heat for no real reason, and managed to win a ring in that time through almost no work of his own. I can't find anything that Shandon has done in the three years hence, but considering all the money he earned in the NBA, he has no real reason to get out of bed these days, so I wouldn't be surprised or disheartened if he just didn't bother.

We can do a little better than that now; in 2007, 11 years after leaving it unfinished, Anderson returned to the University of Georgia to complete his degree. He is now something of an entrepeneur; his foundation, the aptly named Shandon Anderson Foundation, is designed to serve as a mentoring thing for kids, as well as giving out multiple scholarships to impoverished kids in the Georgia area. He also owns a salon and spa facility in Atlanta, as well as a vegetable restaurant and wine bar.

Most importantly, Shanderson is a proud wearer of skirts. And that's a true story. If you don't believe me, here's a picture of Shandon Anderson in a skirt and a flat cap:



This. This is why you come here. God bless you Shandon for your complete lack of fear. I can respect that. And you're right, skirts ARE comfy. They're just a bit weird looking, is all.



- Rashad Anderson

Connecticut guard Rashad Anderson was the second leading scorer in Italy's SerieA last year, averaging 18.2 points per game for Udine. SerieA is the third strongest league in the world, behind only the NBA and the ACB. Yet despite being one of the best scorers in one of the best leagues in the world, Anderson this season finds himself on the bench for a D-League team. Seems like a backwards step, really.

For the Iowa Energy, Anderson is averaging 10.5 points, 3.5 rebounds and 0.6 American assists in 20.3 minutes per game off the bench. The Energy are pretty stacked and have a 10-1 record, but if Anderson came back to the D-League for lesser money thinking it would be the next step to cracking the NBA, then he probably wasn't expecting to be coming off the bench behind Cartier Martin and Pat Carroll.



- Antonio Anderson

Antonio Anderson is also in the D-League. After going undrafted out of Memphis this summer, Anderson went to camp with the Bobcats, but he never really had a chance of making the team. He was then taken 12th in the D-League draft by the Rio Grande Valley Vipers, three places after Rashad was. For the Vipers, Anderson is averaging 41.9 minutes, 17.5 points, 6.9 assists, 4.4 rebounds, 1.3 steals and 0.7 blocks per game, shooting 46% from the floor and 30% from three point range, all while starting at was is essentially the small forward position. (Decide for yourself whether it's him or Garrett Temple that's technically the shooting guard. Can't say it matters much.)

The Vipers are the D-League affiliate of the Houston Rockets, and Rockets big man Joey Dorsey is on assignment there. He's putting up numbers, too. In 29.4 minutes of 10 games, Dorsey is averaging 14.4 points, 13.6 rebounds, 2.1 assists, 1.3 steal and 1.4 blocks per game, shooting 64% from the field. It looks good, doesn't it? But somehow, in only those 29 minutes per game, Dorsey is also averaging 4.0 fouls and a ridiculous 4.0 turnovers. How do you turn it over 4 times a game in 30 minutes when you don't touch the ball on offense very often? How many moving screens can one man set? Baffling times.



- Martynas Andriuskevicius

As I've said about 23 times in the past, Andriuskevicius is somewhat symptomatic of part of the flaw in NBA thinking. Andrew's Cabbages is 7'3 tall and fairly agile for that size; it's that combination that got him drafted and two years of guaranteed money. (It certainly wasn't because of an accomplished skillset or a history of solid production.) But the flaw there is with the 7'3 measurement. It may well be accurate, but Marty is only as tall as he is due to an abnormally long neck. Were it not for that, he'd be only a normal 7 footer, if such a height can ever be considered normal. What advantage is he to gain from having a longer neck than his peers? Not a lot. Maybe he can see the play unfolding slightly better than his matchup can. But if he hasn't the skills to do anything about it, where's the advantage? Measurements can lie, and while they do matter, they can also be blinkered. They're important, but not THAT important. Ask the western conference playoff team currently starting a 6'6 centre how much it's holding them back.

Anyway, that's just a rant, not a circumstances update. As for how he's doing these days, Andriuskevicius is into his third season with Alicante Lucentum in Spain. On the ACB season, he is averaging 8.6 points and 4.1 rebounds, numbers both down from last season. He also averages 2.6 fouls in only 17 minutes per game, in a league where you foul out when you reach 5. But he does have 120 points on only 71 shots, which is pretty fantastic.



- Rafael Araujo

Araujo, whose nickname should really be "Epic Fail", is back in his native Brazil, signed with a team called Paulistano. Put a space in the right place, and that becomes a believable name for a hitman. Brazilian statistics are a bit difficult to find, and it doesn't help that he seems to now exclusively be known as "Baby." But as far as I can tell, he was averaging 13.5 rebounds and 8.7 rebounds per game. (If anyone can read Portuguese, feel free to construct a better translation.) At the very least, here's a recent shot chart of his. He's red number 55.

Araujo was never THAT bad. Below average, yes, and a monumentally bad draft pick at #8. But he has NBA talent, if only as a 12th man. This is about as much balance redressing as I can muster.

He's 29 years old now.



- Robert Archibald

Robert Archibald and his hybrid accent are to be found in the same place that they're always found - Spain. Playing for Unicaja Malaga, Arch is having a pretty bad year, averaging only 5.2 points, 2.9 rebounds and 3.2 fouls per game in the ACB, improving to 8.2 points, 4.2 rebounds and 2.8 fouls per game in the Euroleague. Nevertheless, his team mate there this year is fellow Brit and Aldershot's finest, Joel Freeland; others you will have heard of include Omar Cook, Shammond Williams, Nedzad Sinanovic, Taquan Dean and Gorgeous Giorgos Printezis. And this is why the ACB is the best league outside of the NBA. Even the middle-of-the-road teams are stacked.



- Koko Archibong

Archibong played in the Euroleague last year when he was a member of Polish team, Prokom Sopot. He was pretty shockingly bad in it, though, averaging only 2.8 points, 3.5 rebounds and 3.1 fouls. This year he's moved to Germany and joined the Dusseldorf Giants. (I don't have an umlaut thing on my keyboard, and I'll be damned if I'm bothering to find one in charmap.) On the season, Archibong is averaging 14.1 points and 6.7 rebounds, leading the team in both categories.

In keeping with the unofficial German league rules, Dusseldorf have almost no German players in their rotation. In fact, they have only 1; the backup point guard, Gordon Geib. But they do have a German coach, a man named Achim Kuzcmann. And he has one of the finest moustaches that you will ever see in the basketball world.



That is imperious, messianic, divine, and truly, truly uber. Well played Mr Kuzcmann.



- Darrell Armstrong

Armstrong last played in the 2007-08 season with the Nets, playing in 50 games as a backup. He tried out for the Suns partway through last season, but did not make the team. He is now retired, if not officially, and is an assistant coach with the Mavericks.

He does not have an imperious moustache.

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 3

Continuing that list of stuff that you like.

- Rafael Araujo is sadly out of basketball right now. He's unsigned. He's unwanted. He's unloved. Commitment-free. Homeless. A nomadic vagabond living off the land and fashioning rudimentary hyperdermic needles using only his opposable thumbs and his chemically-enhanced upper body strength. But this is just one tale to tell. There are thousands of children like this all over BYU. Please. End poverty now. Give generously.

- Robert Archibald is currently playing for Unicaja Malaga in Spain, after turning down a contract from the Hornets this summer. He is still not bald. (I went on holiday to Malaga only recently, and didn't see Robert Archibald there. Shame. I looked hard and everything.) Archibald averages 7.1 point and 4.0 rebounds on a pretty stacked, for those who still care. By the way, while looking this up, I found out about Neil Fingleton, a former UNC and Holy Cross player and one time McDonald's All American. After a brief playing career career in Europe, the ABA and the D-League, Fingleton has since given up playing basketball due to injuries, and is now an aspiring actor. He was also recently awarded the seminal title of UK's Tallest Man, which is good news I suppose. But it begs the question; the previous holder of that record - a man named Christopher Greener - had been dining out on that fame for 40 years. What the hell is he going to do now? Who the hell remembers who comes second? Where's the TV work going to come from? He'll be jobless, he'll be penniless, he'll be a waste of height. He'll be unsigned. He'll be unwanted. He'll be unloved. Commitment-free. Homeless. A nomadic vagabond living off the land. Et cetera.

- Koko Archibong is not a nomadic vagabond living off the land, as he has procured a plum position with the pre-eminent Polish powerhouse, Prokom. (Sorry, I'm really immature today. I tend to binge.) Archibong averages 6.6 points per game, good enough (if that's the right phrasing) for eighth on the team. To find out about some of his team mates, keep reading these posts until we get to the Bu-'s.

- Darrell Armstrong is unsigned, but recently attended the Suns' point guard mini-camp, where he and many other hopefuls vied for Phoenix's compulsory 13th man role. He lost.

- Brandon Armstrong is playing for Budivelnik in the Ukraine. No, me neither. Armstrong hasn't played since November - which may or may not be injury related, I don't know - and averaged only 14.2 minutes and 6.5 points per game when he did.

- Carlos Arroyo signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv this summer, as a part of the mass European migration that wasn't. Arroyo averages 13.7 points, 3.3 rebounds and 4.4 assists, and rumours (perhaps unsubstantiated) abound about a return to the Magic.

- The Bulls gave up two second round picks to move up a mere three spots in this year's second round, which is an extremely committed and kind of bizarre thing to do. They did this it get their hands on the rights to Omer Asik, whom clearly they rate extremely highly. Asik then instantly repaid the Bulls' faith in him by tearing his knee ligament, and he hasn't played all season as a result. Nonetheless, Asik has spent some time in the Bulls' practices this season, clearly eager to get an early taste of their poisonous chemistry and inability to utilise young big men.

- Stacey Augmon jacked it all in (not off) and is now a Denver Nuggets assistant coach.

- James Augustine averages 8.2 points, 5.0 rebounds, 1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks per game for Gran Canaria in Spain. By the way, way back in the boom boom selection days, I asked for information and/or your theories as to how Augustine managed to be re-signed and waived by the Magic in the same July, in an act so weird that I can't think of a single other time that it's happened. I've since gotten that info, and it's no less weird - Orlando tendered Augustine a qualifying offer of $972,581 in an act of fairly standard practice, and Augustine unusually accepted it almost immediately. Of note, though, is the rule with qualifying offers which states that they have to have a level of guarantee that is, at a minimum, identical to the previous season's salary. Augustine's 2007/08 salary called for a minimum salary of $687,456, but with only 25% guaranteed if he was waived on or before the 30th of July 2007. Therefore, the qualifying offer had to have a similar level of guarantee, and so the qualifying offer that Augustine accepted was 25% guaranteed until July 30th 2008. So those three weeks that Augutine spent with the Magic this season, in which he didn't play a single game, cost the tax-tight Magic a significant $243,145, and would have been more if they haven't waived him when they did. A congratulations, therefore, go to Augustine's vigilant agent, who got his client a decent paycheck without him having to actually do anything and still having the opportunity to land a pretty plush European gig as well. Similarly, condolences go to Orlando General Manager, Otis Smith, who in hindsight should never have offered the qualifying offer in the first place. Creative financing at its finest once again.

- The Bulls other unsigned draft pick, Mario Austin, started the season with Besiktas in Turkey, but left without playing a game for reasons that I'm not aware of.

- Finally, and somewhat boringly, Larry Ayuso is still chasing the NBA dream, this time in the D-League with the Iowa Energy. He's doing this by averaging 13.0 points on 40% shooting, shooting more three pointers than two pointers, and with more turnovers than assists. He would appear to be trying to showcase himself as a jumpshooting specialist. It isn't working. But he did get this ESPN article about himself last month, so the D-League might have been the right place for him to go.

Where Are They Now? Part 2

In a new and uninteresting series of post, we (I) shall attempt to update you on the current whereabouts of some of your favourite players who sniffed the NBA for a brief moment before retiring with their tail between their legs to basketball's minor leagues. These players are to be glorified at all times, as they provide amusement, and also they provide the oft-undervalued mechanism for sports fans to worry entirely too much about the last player on the roster. It is a trend true of all sports, but particularly in basketball - if we can't see a player play, but they're on an NBA roster, we can then convince ourselves that they are potential 20ppg players, and no one can refute our claim with evidence because there isn't any. It's a dream we regularly live, then shatter, and then live again. Good times.




Shagari Alleyne, one time 76er for about 8 minutes, just finished a season in the powerhouse Premier Basketball League, an ironically named minor league in the USA that you've probably never heard of.

David Andersen, one time highly overrated Atlanta Hawks draft pick whose rights they still own, is in his fourth season playing for CSKA Moscow, in Russia.

Alan Anderson is playing for La Fortezza Bologna in Italy.

Kenny Anderson showed up bizarrely playing for Zalgiris in Lithuania at the very end of the 2006 season, and hasn't been heard of since. (EDIT: Apparently he's now the coach of a CBA team, the Atlanta Krunk. Great name.)

Shandon Anderson hasn't played since leaving the Miami Heat with a ring on his finger, and has only subsequently been heard of when Miami nearly re-signed him the following season.

Martynas Andriuskevicius is playing for Alicante in Spain, and working as a part time giraffe.

Rafael Araujo is playing for Spartak Moscow, also in Russia as are most Moscow teams.

Robert Archibald is playing for Azovmash in the Ukraine.

Brandon Armstrong is playing for Kotwica Kolobrzeg of Poland, and no I don't know how to pronounce that.

Stacey Augmon has retired, as we all thought he already had before being signed by Denver for this year's training camp. He is now working for the Nuggets as a player development coach.

Mario Austin, 2003 draft choice of the Chicago Bulls, is playing for Benetton Treviso in Italy. He's also one of the best players not in the NBA, and doesn't want to join it.


More later.