Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 58

Be warned. This is the penultimate entry. (Giggidy.) If you feel like killing yourself after this, I can't really stop you, and I'm not sure I'd even advise against it.

- Donell Williams is a training camp signing of the Clippers in 2007 who hasn't done anything of note before or since. A 28 year old 6'3 guard, Williams spent his first two collegiate years at West Los Angeles Community College, before transferring to Fayetteville State for his final two years, averaging 15.7 points and 6.0 rebounds in his senior year, 2004-05. D-Will then went back to school for the 2005-06 season to complete his degree, even though he wasn't eligible to play for the basketball team. The following season, his basketball career finally started, with Williams now aged 26. Williams played in the 2006 JBL Pro-Am League, an incredibly unheard-of American minor league that takes place between April and May, in which he averaged 27 ppg, 16 rpg and 5 apg. He then did nothing for the next 16 months, between May 2006 and October 2007. And then he was somehow signed by the Clippers. After unsurprisingly not making the team, Williams went to the D-League, totalled 38 points and 21 rebounds in 18 games with the Bakersfield Jam, and was waived in January 2008. He hasn't played anywhere since.

Of all the random training camp signings we've had over the years - Brad Stricker, Ondrej Starosta, Rashid Byrd, Ajani Williams, etc - I think this one is the most random.

- Corliss Williamson retired in the 2007 offseason and became an assistant coach at Arkansas Baptist College. Whether he's still there or not, I can't tell. Here's a story he's in from a reunion of the 1994 Arkansas Razorbacks.

- Kevin Willis is now 46, and presumably not going to make another comeback. Then again, we fell for that once before. According to this story from October, Willis was running a custom jeans company called Willis & Walker. However, the company's website no longer exists, which doesn't bode well.

- Roderick Wilmont started the year with Solsonica Rieti in Italy, totalling 13 points and 10 fouls in three games, before moving to join Aliaga Petkim in Turkey. Wilmont has averaged 11.0 points and 2.4 rebounds in 20 games in the Turkish league.

- Kennedy Winston did the opposite, starting in Turkey and then leaving. K-Win averaged only 6.2 points and 3.3 rebounds in 16 games for Turk Telekom, before landing a plush gig at Real Madrid as the replacement for Quinton Hosley. Winston has totalled 6 and 3 in his two games there.

- DaShaun Wood averages 5.6 points, 2.1 rebounds and 3.5 assists for Benetton Treviso in the Eurocup. He has barely played for the team in the Italian league, presumably due to some rules limiting the amount of foreigner or something, but he has totalled 23 points, 20 assists and 18 rebounds in the 5 games he has played there.

- Loren Woods - the original L Train, so screw you Austin Carr - was waived by the Rockets this offseason due to a combination of their eternal tightness, the need for roster spots, and his overwhelming mediocrity. He then signed in Lithuania for Zalgiris Kaunsas, and averaged 12.3 points, 9.0 rebounds and 2.4 blocks in the Euroleague, 8.4/5.8/1.4 in the Lithuanian league, and 7.8/8.5/1.5 in the Baltic league. He left the club in December after the near-bankrupt team released all its foreign players in a bid to stay solvent. Woods then signed in Zaragoza (a Spanish city with a tiny airport, albeit with a funky roof), and has averaged 13.0 points and 10.0 rebounds in his two games for the team. To think that I passed within a few miles of Loren Woods recently and didn't know about it. Oh the shame.

- Qyntel Woods started the season with Fortitudo Bologna, and averaged 12.9 points, 3.9 rebounds and 3.0 steals per game in the Italian league, alongside 14.3 ppg and 4.3 rpg in the Eurocup. He then left in January and signed with Prokom Sopot, for whom he has averaged 11.3 points and 3.7 rebounds in the Polish league, alongside 12.2 points and 3.0 rebounds in the Euroleague.

- Bracey Wright started the year with DKV Joventut Badalona, where he averaged 14.0 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.6 assists in the Spanish league, alongside 12.1 points and 2.8 rebounds in the Euroleague, before being released by the team at the start of the year after he missed a few games due to "family issues". A bit of a soap opera then unfolded; it was widely reported that Wright had signed with KK Zadar in Croatia, but he hadn't, and he eventually re-signed with the team he played for last year, Aris Thessaloniki. However, that was 6 weeks ago, and Wright still hasn't played for them yet due to conditioning problems. This article says that the team might replace him.

- Finally, former Pacers draft pick Rashad Wright is in Germany, playing for ALBA Berlin, a team absolutely stacked with Americans who managed to make it impressively far in this year's Euroleague before becoming completely overmatched. Wright averaged 8.8 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.4 assists in Euroleague play, along with 8.3 points, 3.3 rebounds and 2.3 assists in the German league, while being part of a fearsome backcourt rotation that also features Casey Jacobsen, Immy McElroy and Julius Jenkins. Yeahhh, you're quaking.

Summer signings, round 4

- Andreas Glyniadakis, former Pistons draft pick and one-time Sonic, has extended his contract with Costa Coffee in Greece. I hope that the sponsoring of team names never catches hold in the NBA, even when it leads to beautiful times.

- Ersan Ilyasova, whose NBA rights are still owned by the Milwaukee Bucks, has seen his contract with Barcelona extended. It seems odd that, in this instance, the NBA franchise has been the feeder club for the European team. 10 years ago, that just doesn't happen.

- Gabe Muoneke, a man on the fringes of the NBA for about 6 years now before finally getting a sniff with the Charlotte Bobcats last October, has signed with Asvel in France. Last season, Muoneke played in Iran, and he's probably made the right decision to get out.

- English supestar Pops Mensah-Bonsu has signed with Joventut Badalona in Spain, and, if I've ever called them Joventut Barcelona in the past, then I apologise. Pops will play alongside Ricky Rubio, and if you've heard that name but don't know much about him.......he's brilliant. He really is.

- Qyntel Woods has signed with Fortitudo Bologna. I want to make a joke about dogs, but I like dogs, so I won't. By the way, I sponsored a dog recently, and let me tell you - it's a damn scam. I take my time choosing which dog I want to sponsor, pay for a full year, but then they send me a letter saying "we're sorry, but that dog is no longer available to sponsor". And then they kept the money anyway. Bastards. So learn from my mistakes - if you're feeling philanthropic, sponsor a panda or a child or a leper or something. There's no value in the dog thing.

- Rodney White - possibly the worst player in modern history to have a triple double in an NBA game, depending on your view of Chris Duhon - has signed for Maccabi Tel Aviv, which is in Tel Aviv, Israel.

- Troy Bell has signed for Soresina in Italy's lower divisions. The drafting of Bell was quite possibly the worst roster move that Jerry West has ever made in the NBA, depending on how shit hot your NBA history knowledge is. (Mine's awful.) Players drafted after Troy Bell in 2003 include David West, Leandro Barbosa, Josh Howard, Kendrick Perkins, Boris Diaw, Jason Kapono, Carlos Delfino, Maurice Williams, Luke Walton, Zaza Pachulia, James Jones, Kyle Korver, Steve Blake, Travis Outlaw........et cetera. Whoops.

- Former Denver Nuggets guard Vincent Yarborough has hit the big time, signing for Bonn in Germany. The mere mention of Vincent Yarborough has reminded me of how bad that 2002/03 Denver Nuggets team was, and so, for the hell of it, here is a run down of the whereabouts of everyone they gave an airing to that season.

1: Juwan Howard - unsigned, spent last season with the Dallas Mavericks.
2: James Posey - agreed today to sign with the New Orleans Hornets for 4 years.
3: Maybyner Hilario - the only one still with Denver, although he hasn't played much for a variety of reasons, including cancer.
4: Chris Whitney - long since out of the game. And the headlines.
5: Shammond Williams - now a Georgian citizen, somehow. Playing for Pamesa Valencia in Spain.
6: Rodney White - see above.
7: Donnell Harvey - recently joined the Charlotte Bobcats summer league team, but left early due to a family emergency. Unsigned. (By the way, speaking of the Bobcats summer league, Jackie Butler was supposed to be on it, but he never turned up. If we haven't done so already, can we officially scrub Jackie Butler from our minds? Thanks.)
8: Marcus Camby - yes, well, let's not talk about that.
9: Devin Brown - unsigned, last season played for the Cavaliers.
10: Jeff Trepagnier - unsigned, spent last season with Pau Orthez in France.
11: Kenny Satterfield - Scoop Jackson assures us he's fine.
12: Mark Blount - currently the Miami Heat's starting centre, which probably enthuses them no end.
13: Chris Andersen - unsigned, but that won't last. Played all of 34 minutes last year with the Hornets.
14: Lorinza Harrington - playing for the Philadelphia 76ers summer league team.
15: Nikoloz Tskitishvili - unsigned. Quick! Before someone snaps him up!
16: Ryan Bowen - unsigned, played last for the Hornets, Says he's "hopeful" of being re-signed, something which I agree with.
17: John Crotty - very very done, but I don't know what he does now.
18: Adam Harrington - unsigned, played last year in the D-League.
19: Predrag Savovic - has one year left of a five year contract that he signed with Bilboa in Spain back in 2004. Still sucks, but he has Luke Recker, Drago Pasalic, Mile Ilic, Quincy Lewis and Fran Vazquez for company.
20: Vincent Yarborough - see above.
21: Mark Bryant - didn't play again after leaving this very same Nuggets team. Now an Oklahoma City assistant coach.

Jesus. What a shite team that was.