Where Are They Now, 2009: Part 46

Because twice a night is twice as nice.

- Renaldas Seibutis is part of a deep Iurbentia Bilbao team, averaging 10.7 points and 1.6 rebounds in the Eurocup, alongside 6.6 points and 1.7 rebounds in the Spanish league.

- Now is the time to refamiliarise yourself with Warriors great, Mladen Sekularac. Mladen was drafted in the second round by the Mavericks back in 2002, coming off a season that saw him average 17.6 points in the Saporta Cup, the predecessor of sorts to the Eurocup. From there, Sekularac (whose name I'm finding really hard to abridge) went to Bologna in Italy, where he didn't play much and was released mid-season. In 2003/04, Rac averaged a slightly modest 10ppg back in the Adriatic league, and then saw his rights traded to Golden State as a completely unnecessary minor part of the Erick Dampier trade. It was at that moment that it all started to go south. Sekularac had signed with Buducnost to start the 2004/05 season, but left after they stopped paying him. He then signed in December of '04 with Apollon in Greece, but appeared in only two games, totalling 0 points. Zero. Nada. Since then, Kula has been in Belgium, where a series of injuries have seen him go from the fifth leading scorer in the country in 2005/06 to a fringe starter in the present day (as might have the realisation that he was playing in Belgium, almost always a backwards step for any man's NBA aspirations). Sek is now 28, and has not panned out despite once being touted as his nation's best prospect for a generation. And guess what? Right now, he's currently injured. Larac signed a two year contract with Charleroi this summer, and then got injured in his debut, back in October. He hasn't played since, and has all of two points to his name on the year. Bad times.

- Mouhamed Sene was waived by the Thunder on trade deadline day to accomodate Thabo Sefolosha. The team have since waived Joe Smith, thus opening up a roster spot for Sene's return. But it's not going to happen. Do you know why it's not going to happen It's not going to happen because Saer Sene is not an NBA calibre player. Not now, and probably not ever. Remember that before you tout him as a signing for your team, as so many of you seem to be doing. (Note: if it happens, this post will self-destruct.)

- Josip Sesar - a 2000 second round draft pick of the Sonics, later traded to the Celtics - has never left the Balkans. In fact, the only times he's played for a team outside of his native Croatia have been for teams in Bosnia, and that's where he finds himself now, with a team named BC Zrinjski Mik Company Mostar. The team don't even appear to have a website, so I can't tell you what Sesar averages. But then, you don't really care, do you? He's 31, he's a lot worse than he was when he was 21, he never joined the NBA, and he's never going to. That's all you really need to know.

- Ansu Sesay is playing for ALBA Berlin, a team who have managed to make it strangely far in the Euroleague before their triumphant run ended last month. Sesay averages 9.1 points and 4.4 rebounds in Euroleague play, alongside 12.4 points and 4.5 rebounds in German league play. Six of ALBA's top 7 scorers are Americans (a list that includes Casey Jacobsen, Adam Chubb and Rashad Wright, as well as Sesay), and the seventh is a Serbian named Aleksandar Nadjfeji. German national basketball is looking healthy, then.

- The most important update of this entire series is finally here. Ha Seung-Jin was traded by the Blazers to Milwaukee in the 2006 offseason, as a part of the trade that took Jamaal Magloire to Portland. Ha was waived during training camp, kicked around for a couple of months, and was then acquired by the Anaheim Arsenal of the D-League. Ha played in 26 games for The Arse, with 16 starts, and averaged a frankly depressing 2.7 points, 2.8 rebounds, and 2.0 fouls. In the size starved D-League. Bad times. But this was still in 2006-07, remember. Since then, Ha's managed to do even less. Ha did not play last year, and this year he is back in his native Korea playing for KCC Egis. But there is hope at last - Ha has played in 37 games with the team, averaging 22 minutes, 9.3 rebounds, 7.4 rebounds, 1.3 blocks and 1.3 fouls per game, shooting 66% from the floor and 43% from the foul line. Those are, if nothing else, numbers. And you can only obtain numbers by playing in games. So this means that Ha is at least playing in games. And for that, we are grateful, and mightily relieved. The dream is not yet over.

For the sheer hell of it, here is that classic Ha picture again, having lost none of its magic in the last three years.



- Mustafa Shakur was a recent signing for Panellinios in Greece, where he backs up Anthony Grundy and averages 6.0 points and 1.2 assists. I watched a Panellinios game a few days ago, and, after Shakur committed two admittedly rather dumb fouls in the first 30 seconds, the commentators spent the remainder of the game doing little else but talk about how bad Mustafa Shakur is. They did this unapologetically and relentlessly, despite Shakur scoring 18 points in 13 minutes right in front of their eyes, on a relentless sequence of superbly effective drives. The lesson here is SHUT UP ROY.

- Doron Sheffer has retired for the fourth time. The first time came back in the year 2000 at the age of 28, when it transpired that he had cancer. He returned in early 2003, and managed to avoid retiring until October 2005, when he retired again due to the "sleepless nights" he got from the "waste of time" that basketball was to him. That solemn vow lasted for all of six weeks before he unretired again in December, and Sheff saw out the season with Hapoel Tel Aviv, playing in only 5 games before breaking his hand. Guess what he did then? Yep, he retired, this time in April 2006, and this one lasted until July 2007, when Sheffer returned to play one final season with his original team, Hapoel Galil Elyon-Golan. This time, he managed a full season. And then he retired again after the season ended. We can only guess that this is really it this time, even if the evidence is decidedly stacked against it.

- Ricky Shields is arguably the best player in Slovenia, leading his team, the league leading Krka, in both points and assists with averages of 15.1 and 2.7 respectively, along with 4.8 rebounds per game. If "best player on the best team in Slovenia" isn't the ultimate CV boost, then I don't know what is.

- Joe Shipp is playing for Minas Tenis Clube in Brazil, a team who strangely favour basketball over tennis. Shipp averages 19.7 points and 5.6 rebounds in the Brazlian league.

- Paul Shirley's blog on ESPN.com over the summer alluded to the idea that his 2008 stint in Spain with Vive Menorca might have been his last ever professional basketball player gig. It wasn't, because Shirley signed a one month contract this November with Unicaja Malaga as an injury replacement for Marcus Haislip. However, that's over now, and Shirley is again unsigned, seemingly not looking too hard for work either. He's now writing a lot for ESPN about music.

- Finally, some good news. After almost two years out of the game, Wayne Simien is back and playing, albeit not at the standard that he once was. Simien is with Caceras in the Spanish LEB Gold [second divison], averaging 16.8 points and 8.2 rebounds a game. It's a start. Despite how few NBA games he played, though, Simien has still appeared in the second most out of anyone on this list, with 51 games, albeit way behind Ansu Sesay's 127. (Sene and Ha both appeared in 46, Shirley in 18. The rest have appeared in 0, and probably never will. These lists are somewhat desperately really, aren't they?)

Channing Frye's blog

Is worth visiting at least once.

I prayed to God for a miracle and what happened? Free internet in the PDX airport. The time blew by. I looked at all the funny videos from the letter-opening bunny to the daily condensed soup, which I recommend for everyone to watch — it’s hilarious.

I get on the plane sit in my nice comfortable 1st class seat and to my dismay the “bubble gut monster” arose his bubbly badness inside my stomach. What I mean is that I had to lay down a huge fart. If we were outside in the woods or maybe at an all-guys party I would have tore a hole in the universe but I had to hold it. Too many people too soon and I knew it was gonna smell.

Et cetera.

All I ask for from NBA players is a semblance of personality. It's a small ask, yet one often unfulfilled by people professionally trained to be dull and boring. A small bit of personality goes a long way, particularly if you aren't very good. If you're likeable as a person, then by proxy you're more likeable as a player. This theory worked on me for Paul Shirley, Scot Pollard, Mark Pope, Andrew Bogut, Rod Benson, Yao Ming, Jalen Rose, Rasheed Wallace, Jonny Gomes, and even Ron Artest. In my book, you gain invauable bonus points for just not being dull. (Let it be known, though, that you will also lose said points for all animal cruelty charges accrued. So that definitely counts against Ron.)

Similarly, if you're completely humourless, the chances are that I won't even try to enjoy watching you play. This is why I'm always quick to defoul Josh Smith, try to avoid Cavaliers games, and why the Derrick Rose era doesn't hearten me as much as it should. (Michael Beasley is entertaining, and he's good. Let it be known that I wanted him, while also remembering that my opinion on draftees ain't worth a damn thing.)

So every time I learn of an NBA player showing signs of a personality without a hint of remorse, I'm all for you. Well done, Mr Frye. Keep writing and not being Josh Smith.

(By the way, the above "personality = good" theory doesn't particularly apply to Gilbert Arenas. He's just interfering. Points gained for trying, points lost for being annoying.)

Taking Shots, By Keith Glass (Oh, I see what he did there.)

Keith Glass is a basketball agent. You may or may not have heard of him.

He isn't a powerhouse agent - you know, one of the ones that you've heard of, such as Arn Tellem or Mark Bartelstein. Indeed, unless you're exceptionally hardcore and boring like me, then you may have heard of him only from reading the literature of Paul Shirley, who is one of Glass's clients, and who neatly ties into Glass's self professed niche market of Tall White Boys. Glass's list of current and recent NBA clients is, as far as I can tell, limited to Shirley, Scott Skiles, Royal Ivey, Jackie Butler, Quincy Douby and Joseph Blair.

That list probably didn't get you semi-erect, no matter how much you love Scott Skiles.

Still, something else that you also probably didn't know about Keith Glass is that he has written a book, a somewhat autobiographical venture called "Taking Shots: Tall Tales, Bizarre Battles, and the Incredible Truth About the NBA".

(Ridiculously cheap second-hand copies of this book are available from Amazon Marketplace. I also bought an album by a band named Midget Handjob from there while buying this book, purely so that I could say that I got a midget handjob for £1.99. I lead an exciting life. But anyway, back to the topic at hand.)

This book is, in many ways, interesting. To say that may not seem like particularly incisive book reviewing on my part, but remember that I'm not a particularly incisive book reviewer. Nor am I a book reviewer at all. Nonetheless, "interesting" is still the most apt adjective that I can muster to describe the book, despite its chronic overuse.

I use "interesting" in place of "good", not because the book is bad, but because of some rather indefensible flaws.

The book covers topics as diverse as The Adventures of Thomas Hamilton (for those unaware, Thomas Hamilton was an NBA player in the 90's, represented by Glass, who was really really fat, and who had little interest in doing anything about that), Glass's days as an assistant coach to Larry Brown (for those unaware, this was for the UCLA Bruins in the 70's, when Keith had a truly shocking moustache), and the Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf saga (for those unaware, buy the damn book). With 13 chapters for 13 different mini-stories, interest (there's that word again) is peaked. If you're fascinated by Keith Glass the man, there's some to be found. If you're an avid collector of black and white photographs featuring a man with a jewfro in a black leather jacket, then this book should speak to you. If you're looking for some insight into how agents do what they do, there's some of that, too. And if you're looking for amusing tales of NBA people that you've heard of, then there's some of that thrown in as well.

But, undermining all of these high points are three flaws that shine through relentlessly:

1: The book suffers from really sloppy editing. Whether this is the fault of the editor (or lack thereof), or whoever printed this particular version of the book, I couldn't say. But it really is truly sloppy, with commas frequently in the wrong places, or missing altogether. Many names are misspelt, due to what can only be sloppy typing, unless someone out there really does think that the NBA Commissioner's name is Davis Stern. This might not seem like a deal breaker, but it is annoying, and really kills the cohesiveness of the writing - then again, with Glass's tendency to rant about whatever he wants whenever he wants, cohesiveness is never entirely secured anyway.

2) Keith repeats himself. Quite a lot.

3) A more apt title for the book would be "Why Everything That Went Wrong When Larry Brown Was Around Wasn't Larry Brown's Fault". (Glass and Brown's lives, both professional and personal, are heavily intertwined in ways that Glass elaborates fully on, and that I can't be bothered to explain. The offshoot of this is that Glass somehow works the topic of Larry Brown into pretty much every issue he talks about. And never is anything Larry's fault in Keith's stories.)


This gets amusing in places, for at times it borders upon the hallowed "Old Man's Amusing Rant About The Way Things Were" turf that can occasionally carry Boston Celtics broadcasts. Glass appears to have written the book to rant about things that piss him off, rather than to recant interesting tales for the purposes of entertainment. And that's fine. A positive side effect of this is Glass's staunch defiance and insistence that he is right, and also in several cases his willingness to call those out by name who have annoyed or wronged him. (This is something that his client Shirley could, and should, have done way more often in his book, which will be reviewed soon.)

Another positive side effect of Glass's ranting was when, while ranting about how to fix the USA's recent Olympic bronze medal winning woes, Keith's 'This Team Would Win Easily' roster included Quincy Douby and Jackie Butler. That was fun. I bet Paul Shirley was pissed off, though, for seemingly Jared Jeffries took his place.

But it also leads to agendas, as seen above with the frequent mentions of Larry Brown. Glass points out what he believes is wrong with the NBA, some of which is obvious, some of which is insightful, some of which still rings true, some of which has been corrected, and some of which he's just wrong about. His solutions to the problems are sometimes lacking, and sometimes not cohesive - for every good point addressed (e.g. the need to rectify the system in which as player can fire an agent with no forewarning or severance, as often as they so choose), he tells you something that you already know (we are all aware of the excessive timeouts at the end of games, and the NBA is aware enough of our awareness to have addressed it slightly), and something that makes you wonder where the hell he's going with it (players fouling out is far from the top of the NBA's problems list, Keith).


Taking Shots tells you a lot of things that you want to hear, and some other things that you never thought that you wanted to hear. It provides a genuinely insightful view into the workings of the NBA from an inside perspective, and sheds light on some luminary NBA personalities. All this is done with a small but pleasurable dollop of humourous garnish, as well as the bizarre inclusion of the aforementioned picture of his jacket. Yet in doing so, Glass sets out to prove some other points about things that are clearly bugging him, and the doesn't prove them very well.

And no matter how "interesting" the book is, that doesn't excuse having no one proof-reading it.

Paul Shirley's book

Paul Shirley wrote a book. Buy it.


Additionally, when buying the book, be sure to mention that you heard about it from here first. If you do this, you're entitled to absolutely no refund at all, but it'd pacify me.