September Still Hasn't Ended

Part 1!!!!!!!!

Now part 2!!!!!!!!



Minimum salary deals:

Atlanta signed Randolph Morris for two seasons, giving themselves both the opportunity to develop a talented young centre and the opportunity to lose him to unrestricted free agency. They also signed Othello Hunter and Thomas Gardner for training camp. Sham's lame ill-informed prediction: Hunter makes it if Solomon Jones gets traded. (Readers note: they haven'tsigned Dalibor Bagaric, despite it reputedly being a done deal almost a month ago. This is not good.)

Boston signed Darius Miles and Patrick O'Bryant to young'en up an old old bench. Miles could be something between inconsequential and surprising, depending on how much cartilege is in his knee. And all O'Bryant has to do to replace the production of Scot Pollard is to stay alive. Whether he becomes anything of any use is another matter, but he's not entirely talentless.

Ryan Hollins re-signed with Charlotte for the qualifying offer, after the team had already taken out the team option on Jermareo Davidson. So apparently Charlotte likes these two nigh-on identical players in equal measure. The Bobcats also signed non-shooting guard Shannon Brown, trading away their draft pick Kyle Weaver immediately afterwards. They must think incredibly little of Weaver, because Brown is pretty poor.

The Bulls re-signed Demetris Nichols on the basis that he's young, cheap, partially guaranteed and can hit a jumpshot. But mainly the second one.

Cleveland made two minimum salary signings of a polarisingly different standard. The signing of Tarence Kinsey gives the Cavaliers a young player on the cheap, one who should never have been out of the league in the first place, but in contrast, the signing of Lorenzen Wright gives a new home to someone who shouldn't be in it. Wright used to be good, but those days are long gone - he was arguably the worst player in the NBA last season, and he has every chance of being so again.

Similarly, the Mavericks made two good minimum salary signings in James Singleton and Gerald Green, yet they also brought in Keith McLeod. You need shooters, so you sign one of the worst offensive guards in or around the game? Okay. Don't get that one. But great move on The Singleton. Hustle players and rebounding specialists who can also hit three pointers are always welcome. Another player who should never have been out of the league.

Denver did their usual of padding out their bench on the cheap, but they did so with Chris Andersen, Anthony Carter and Dahntay Jones, all of whom are fine value for that price. All three are also decent defensive players, something which Denver sorely needs. Let's hope that Carter doesn't start this year, though.

Will Bynum signed with the Pistons for two seasons, giving them the backcourt shooter that they sorely need. Wait, no, that's wrong.

Golden State got into the training camp scrub signfest early, picking up Anthony Morrow, Rob Kurz, DeMarcus Nelson and Dion Dowell to come to camp. Sham's lame ill-informed prediction - Morrow and Nelson make it.

The Clippers made some more value signings, getting Jason Williams for the minimum, which is good value if they get any version of J-Will other than last year's. They also signed Brian Skinner, someone who has been criminally underrated since Billy King overpaid for him back in 2004. Paul Davis is also returning as the 15th man for no real reason.

The Lakers had some training camp pickups of their own, namely Brandon Heath, C.J. Giles, Dwayne Mitchell and Josh Powell. Powell's making it, but the rest have only a little chance. Unless I'm wrong. Which is highly possible.

(EDIT - They've sinced also re-signed Didier Ilunga-Mbenga, who'll probably make it, defying logic and rational thought.

Jamaal Magloire signed with the Heat, despite him not being very good any more. Along with camp signee David Padgett, plus returnees Mark Blount and Joel Anthony, there's not now any room left for Alonzo Mourning. (The Heat also signed Jason Richards early for training camp, but he's since torn up his knee, so that's his NBA dream over for this season.)

New Orleans went the Denver route, and padded out their bench with veterans for the minimum salary. They went for Sean Marks (OK), Ryan Bowen (pointless) and Devin Brown (genius). So, a 50% success rate there.

New York signed one of the most one dimensional players of all time in Anthony Roberson, but thoughtfully, his one dimension is one that they need.

Adonal Foyle re-signed with the Magic, which did nothing to assuage the size problems that the Magic with everyone other than Dwight Howard.

Philadelphia binged and went the veterans minimum route four times. Theo Ratliff showed surprisingly mobility last year for a 35 year old big man with a history of back problems, and he still has something left to give as a backup. Donyell Marshall, meanwhile, doesn't. The signing of Kareem Rush gives the Sixers two of the least efficient shooting guards in Western society today, but at least is a small improvement on their outside shooting problem. Royal Ivey, meanwhile, isn't.

Former Sixers Louis Amundson signed with the Phoenix Suns, as did former Warrior Matt Barnes. Both are good pickups and good fits in Phoenix, particularly for that price. Maybe Barnes should fire another agent, because the boy hasn't gotten paid yet.

The Portland Trail Blazers signed Luke Jackson, Steven Hill and Jamaal Tatum, and you can probably pencil in all three to be waived, particularly if Darius Miles's contract reappears on their books. If not, Hill has a chance. Unless they sign Shaun Livingston, in which case, it's game over all around.

Bobby Brown signed with the Kings for two guaranteed seasons, which gives us a new tangent of wordplay jokes if nothing else.

Anthony Tolliver and Darryl Watkins signed with the Spurs, who apparently wanted a big man who can't make a layup to save his life. (Watkins, not Tolliver.) The Spurs also brought in Desmon Farmer and Devin Green for training camp, and I hereby predict that Farmer and Tolliver make it. The Spurs don't have to penny pinch around the tax this year, these are the luxuries that they can now afford.

(EDIT: They've also since brought in Salim Stoudamire. YEEHAW!)

Toronto brought in Will Solomon to play point guard, even though he isn't one, and Hassan Adams to play two guard, even though he isn't one. I like the way they're thinking.

In entirely inconsequential news, Dee Brown is back in the NBA after signing with the Wizards.



Draft picks:

Boston's three picks saw them draft J.R. Giddens (a swingman that they don't really need right now), Bill Walker (who everyone seems to be rating really high) and Semih Erden (who we'll probably never see again). I'm curious to see why everyone loves Bill Walker so much. I'm not saying they're wrong, for it would be foolish of me to have much opinion on draftees since I don't folow NCAA basketball (note: that might make this whole section a bit dull), but I understand that Bill Walker's game is predicated on athleticism, not skill. And Walker's also just had his third knee surgery. To me, that doesn't bode well. But, sod it, what would I know. (I'll tell you what I'd know: nothing. That's what I'd know.)

Charlotte, not happy with two athletic near-seven footers, plumped for a third in Alexis Ajinca, and also plumped for a second short ass point guard in D.J. Augustin. I don't think they've identified their most immediate holes here, but then again, they could use an upgrade basically everywhere.

Chicago didn't have much thinking to do before drafting Derrick Rose, a surefire number one pick despite no one being able to draw up a clear cut list of the things he's actually good it. ("Athleticism? Check! Finishing in the lane? Check! Passing? Um, well the system he played in wasn't right. Shooting? Yes, well, he needs to improve his shooting....") They also traded three second rounders for one, and came away from that bizarre trade with Omer Asik, who will no doubt go on to lead a fabulous life and have an amazing career, despite having already suffered a serious knee injury since the night of the draft.

Correctly identifying that Ben Wallace is awful, Cleveland drafted two power forwards, J.J. Hickson and Darnell Jackson. Both are post players, and both are quite good, but having watched summer league, I can't remember either of them throwing a single pass. (A look at the stats confirms this - Hickson had 0 assists in summer league. Jackson had 3. Must've kept dropping it.) The Cavaliers also drafted Sasha Kaun, which I thought was a province in Canada.

Denver traded for the rights to Sonny Weems at 39, which was interesting. (Hang on, no it wasn't.)

Detroit traded out of the first round and drafted the man they would have drafted in it anyway, Walter Sharpe. They signed him for two guaranteed years, sending all us hardened and overeager NBA addicts to Wikipedia to understand narcolepsy better than we thought we did. Sharpe won't play much this year. Detroit also drafted Trent Plaisted and Deron Washington, who will play even less, because they're not on the roster.

Anthony Randolph was drafted 14th by Golden State but already looks to be better than most of the people taken ahead of him. Dick Hendrix was taken 49th, and hasn't been able to make the same boast, but he is able to boast the name of Dick Hendrix, so his life will be fine.

Houston likes three kind of players - shooters, defensive specialists, and shit point guards. Having drafted Aaron Brooks and signed Steve Francis last year, they're all right for shit point guards, so they used the secound round this year to get one of each of the other two, with defensive specialist Joey Dorsey (33rd) and Maaaaaarty Leunen (54th). They also came out of the first round with Donte Greene (28th), but that didn't last (see below).

Indiana drafted Jerryd Bayless at 11. But that's not how it ended up. See below.

The Clippers drafted the best available player at their weakest position when they took Eric Gordon at 7, and that's rarely if ever a bad strategy. In the second round, they picked up Mike Taylor (55th) and DeAndre Jordan (35th), both of whom won't contribute much for two years, which is why they signed three year contracts.

The Lakers only draft pick was Joe Crawford at 58. They've subsequently signed him, but they've also signed Brandon Heath and Dwayne Mitchell (see above), and all three are battling with Coby Karl for what looks like one spot. So they probably could have not bothered drafting Crawford. The Lakers also brought in last year's second rounder, Sun Yue, and already are getting so wildly overexcited that they're talking about playing him at guard sometimes.

Memphis obtain probably the best player available at their weakest position when they traded for Darrell Arthur at 27. Shame about the weed and hoes thing, though. (Readers note: Don't be fooled. Darrell Arthur is not a keen gardener.)

Miami drafted Michael Beasley at number two, after giving the worst acting job since Keanu Reeves in Point Break when trying to convince people that they might not. In the second round, they came away with Mario Chalmers, despite not having a pick. Since when were number 34 picks so devalued? How does Minnesota have the 31st and 34th picks, and not come out of it with a player for next year? Strange times. (Readers note: Minnesota drafted Nikola Pekovic at 31, who may well be good, but whom we also may never see.)

Milwaukee rightly identified that their forward spots were pretty desolate, so they drafted two - Joe Alexander (6th) and Cucumber A Moute (37th). Mbah A Moute's profile informs you that I've only barely seen him play, ut I've seen more of himt han I have Joe Alexander, so I'll do us all a favour and not pretend to know what's going on there.

New Jersey were lauded for their draft, that saw them get Brook Lopez at 10, Ryan Anderson at 21, and Chris Douglas-Roberts at 40. I tend to agree, except for Ryan Anderson. No offence, Ryan.

At number six, the Knicks drafted a man who "will not be a superstar" (c/o Fran Fraschilla) who plays their least needed position. So I'm going to need more convincing on the Danilo Gallinari pick.

The Thunder identified their need for a guard, and then didn't draft the best guard available, picking Russell Westbrook at 4. Either they see something the rest of the world didn't, or the rest of the world saw something that only they didn't. They also moved up into the first round to draft a power forward (D.J. White, 29th), despite having about twelve already, and after already having drafted one five spots earlier (Serge Ibaka). Entering the draft with four second rounders, they gave three away, and used the fourth on yet another big man (DeVon Hardin, 55th). Soon after the draft, they picked up Kyle Weaver from Charlotte, who obviously didn't want him. Sam Presti clearly did, though, because Weaver then signed a four (count'em, four!) year deal. The additions of he and Westbrook hopefully mean that Damien Wilkins will stop getting so much playing time, because no one likes a chucker. Unless you're a Kobe fan.

Orlando brought in Courtney Lee (22nd) because they didn't think they'd be able to keep Maurice Evans, and because they thought Keith Bogans sucked. Right on both counts.

Philadelphia drafted Marreese Speights at 16, something which led to Speights choosing 16 as his new jersey number. Not sure what role Speights will fill since Elton Brand was signed, but we won't hold that against them, given that the chicken came before the egg. Giggidy.

Phoenix got a backup centre in Robin Lopez (15th), as their roster starts to assume a more traditional makeup. This is not a bad thing.

Only Portland could go into a draft night with five picks and leave with two players, Nicolas Batum (25th) and Jerryd Bayless (11th, see below). They also brought over Rudy Fernandez, thieved from Phoenix the previous season. Young quality born out of endless money and trying hard. Good MO.

Sacramento copped more stick for head coach Reggie Theus's comments on why the team drafted Jason Thompson at number twelve than they did for the pick itself. But this doesn't mean that they got off lightly.

San Antonio tried to give away their pick, but couldn't, so took someone almost completely unheard of in George Hill (26th), who they've since signed. Backcourt scoring was apparently a priority of theirs this year. They also followed their own tradition and drafted a European in the second round (Goran Dragic, 45th), but then unusually traded him for an NCAA player (Malik Hairston, 48th). Strange times. (For equality's sake, we should mention James Gist, picked 57th. Hi James.)

Utah drafted three Euros that they don't need now and may never need ever, in Kosta Koufos (23rd), Ante Tomic (44th) and Tadija Dragicevic (53rd).

Finally, Washington drafted Tits McGee, one of my favourite draftees this year, and not only because his name is Tits. McGee is the next Marcus Camby. Book it. (Readers note: comparison overstated for effect. And his name isn't really Tits.)




Trades:

Cleveland finally has the right idea, dealing spare parts Joe Smith and Damon Jones in a three team trade with Oklahoma City and Milwaukee that landed them starting point guard Maurice Williams. Now that the Cavaliers finally have a complimentary guard that can score and handle the ball a bit, I hope Mike Brown finally figures out how to use one. Elsewhere in the deal, Oklahoma City somehow got two somewhat decent players on two sizeable expiring contracts in Smith and Desmond Mason, while only giving up Adrian Griffin Luke Ridnour to do so. Meanwhile, Milwaukee gives up the best player - and one of a good value contract - in return for nothing of any significant use. I know the Williams and Michael Redd pairing needed splitting up, but not like that. And don't give Adrian Grifin to Scott Skiles. You won't like where that goes.

Milwaukee's other trade involved somehow being giftwrapped Richard Jefferson by New Jersey for the tiny cost of Bobby Simmons and Yi Jianlian. Why New Jersey wanted that package, I do not know. Simmons expires a year sooner than Jefferson, and crucially in time for the 2010 offseason, but he's not an expiring contract, and Yi Jianlian is now but one of a humber of many young big men on the Nets roster. He's also not that good. Can you trade a 20ppg in-his-prime All Star, not get a starter back, not get an expiring contract back, nor even a draft pick, and be happy with your return? I'd like to think not, but I think it just happened.

Again on draft night, Toronto threw all their eggs in one basket, trading T.J. Ford, Macy O'Baston, Rasho Nesterovic and the rights to Roy Hibbert to Indiana for Jermaine O'Neal and the rights to Nathan Jawai. O'Neal and Chris Bosh should pair effortlessly, much more so than Ford and Jose Calderon did, and the Raptors now have the best frontcourt pairing in the East. (Even better than "Dwight Howard and anybody.") Yet they still have largely crappy wing players, and a very weak bench. They have a fine front three, but very very little in support of them. And they've run out of money to do too much about that. Indiana, meanwhile, saves a good amount of money, and gets two young talented players at their biggest positions of need. That can't be bad. They're not going anywhere, but that's not a bad way to retool.

Golden State picked up Marcus Williams for the cost of a first round pick, despite two years of nothing but injuries and bad play. It's a gamble worth taking, but one with an element of risk. Williams has shown roughly nothing so far, albeit while playing often out of position.

Ron Artest finally left Sacramento, going to Houston along with recently signed draftees Sean Singletary and Patrick Ewing Jr in exchange for prospect forward Donte Greene, a pick, and the expiring contract of Bobby Jackson. Houston's defense is now freakin' mega, and they even made sure to save some money on the deal by dealing Ewing to New York for the meaningless rights to Frederic Weis, and dealing Singletary to Phoenix for D.J. Strawberry in a move that saves both teams money. Meanwhile, Sacramento's somewhat going for the ol' addition by subtraction thing, which may or may work out. (Donte Greene, by the way, put on an absolutely disgusting performance in summer league. Yes I know he scored 40 in one game, but HOLY SWEET JESUS CHRIST BOY will you pass the sodding ball.)

Denver took a break from their minimum salary policy to get a younger, cheaper and better version of the departed Eduardo Najera, when they traded the peripheral expiring contracts of Taurean Green and Bobby Jones
to New York for Renaldo Balkman. New York then waived both instantly. A no-brainer for Denver, even with their self-inflicted budget concerns, and when factoring in the fact that Balkman will always be a backup. But what were New York doing? You have a lot of small forwards, yes. But get rid of the crap ones. Also, don't trade a small forward on account of the fact that he's a "bad fit" and that there's too much competition in front of him, just to later trade for Patrick Ewing Jr, his cheaper but inferior replacement. If you want to save money for two years, don't sign Chris Duhon to that deal. There. Sorted.

The Clippers filled their cap space, with a few trades, most notably getting former DPOY candidate Marcus Camby for absolutely nothing. It's just not good enough, is it? Some teams out there are pissing away their MLE's, and some teams get gifted the league's better big men in their prime, entirely through circumstance. The NBA is a stupid game anyway. The Clippers also later traded for Steve Novak, seemingly seeing something in him that Nick Fazekas couldn't reproduce. They also conspired with Utah to complete one of the most pointless trades ever, acquiring their former player Jason Hart for Brevin Knight. The contracts are basically the same, the players are basically the same, and while Knight is slightly better, he'll play fewer games. Yet neither should actually play at all, barring a typhoid outbreak. So....why did this happen again?

An 8 player trade went down on draft night, but only three players in it mattered. Memphis and Minnesota swapped their draft picks a few hours after making them, with Kevin Love going to the Timberwolves, and O.J. Mayo going to Memphis. Also involved in the trade were Mike Miller, Antoine Walker, Greg Buckner, Marko Jaric, Brian Cardinal and Jason Collins, but of those few, only Mike Miller is a productive player. Essentially, Miller was Minnesota's asking price for swapping the two, and in exchange for Miller, Memphis made some salary swaps that gives them roughly $7 million more in cap space next offseason. For both parties, the question is, did they get the better part of the prospect swap. I'm going to cop out and say that I don't know enough about Kevin Love to judge. This is what you can do when you're an amateur blogger.

Indiana and Portland also made a prospect swap, switching the draft rights of Brandon Rush and Jerry D. Bayless, while also including Josh McRoberts, Ike Diogu and Jarrett Jack. In terms of the other three players, Portland got hosed, but since Bayless is apparently the better prospect, that makes it all right. (Again, I refuse to say. I've watched summer league, but I'm not making an empassioned opinion solely off of that. Nor should you.)

Finally, in the biggest news of the offseason, Minnesota managed to blag a first round pick off of Philadelphia for the less than arduous task of taking on the contracts of Calvin Booth and Rodney Carney. Talk about easy decisions. Carney is still a cheap prospect, even though he hasn't done anything yet, and Booth earns the minimum. Not even Minnesota says no to that.

Wake me up when September ends.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

John Hollinger wrote a long old piece two weeks ago in which he opines upon pretty much every transaction made this summer.

Well, if he can, I can. From the people you know about, to the insignificant ones you couldn't give a Keith Closs about. That's how I want it, so that's how it's going to be.

If you're the kind of person who is annoyed by long posts, then the length of this post will annoy you. It is essentially done as a compendium of all the relative NBA parts of the Summer Signings sequence of posts, written so that I don't have to do it when I do my season previews. This way, I might actually get them all done this year! Woop!

(Readers note: If the format and opinions contained within this piece are incredibly similar to those of John Hollinger, then that's because John Hollinger is very good at what he does. And that's why he did this first. To a much higher standard. Also, if it gets too long for you to tolerate it, print it off and read it next time you're having a shit. The bonus aspect to this - you can then use it to wipe your arse with! Win win situation. Alternatively, if you hate it and feel like killing yourself for having read it, you can give yourself a nasty papercut with the print-out and then bleed to death in the bath. And, as everyone knows, there's nothing worse than a papercut. Not even cholera. I like to think of your welfare when writing this opinionated bobbins.)

(Instead of this, just search for your favourite team's name for their transactions.)


Big old eight figure deals:

Philadelphia landed a big name free agent, which hasn't happened in the entire time that I've followed the sport. They did so by signing Elton Brand for 5 year and $79.8 million, after Brand reneged on a verbal agreement to re-sign with the L.A. Clippers, a deed for which he will join Carlos Boozer and John Salmons in hell. After this, Philadelphia also re-signed
Andre Iguodala to a 6 year, $80 million deal - those two now form the Sixers core, along with Louis Williams, Samuel Dalembert, Thaddeus Young and Andre Miller (who is staring down the barrel of an extension.) But none of them can shoot three's. Just saying.

Baron Davis opted out and agreed to leave Golden State for the Clippers after Brand's verbal commitment, but stuck to his promise even after Brand didn't. So he's going to heaven. His 5 year, $65 million deal is comparative value, in a world where one in every two players averages $15 million now. (Sort of.) Monta Ellis got 6 years and $66 million to replace Davis at point guard, even though he isn't one, and already he's torn his ankle up in suspicious circumstances. SO that made for a good start to the Warriors offseason.

Golden State also paid Andris Biedrins $54 million over 6 years, a comparative bargain in a world where people will overpay for unproductive centres in the hope that they start producing. But before both of those re-signings, they brought in Corey Maggette on a 5 year, $48 million contract. This despite having drafted a small forward (Anthony Randolph) will a hell of a lot of promise, while also having Al Harrington, Stephen Jackson, Marco Belinelli, Kelenna Azubuike and Brandan Wright to get some 2/3/4 minutes. Corey Maggette is a good player, and the price for which he has signed represents decent value, but I still don't see the point here. Now you have negative mismatches in your starting lineup. There's not much good to say about a starting guard lineup of Monta Ellis and Stephen Jackson. Play, Randolph.

Washington threw a shitload of money at re-signing Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison, commiting themselves to a core consistently good enough to not win the East. Here's hoping for another big leap from Caron Butler, but I don't think he's got one more in him.

Josh Smith signed an offer sheet with Memphis after his negotiations to re-sign with Atlanta got sticky and underwhelming. The offer sheet was of good value to Memphis. Unfortunately, precisely because of that, Atlanta matched it immediately.

Luol Deng went through the rather awkward process of setting an artificial deadline date for his negotiations, but disaster was averted when the Bulls overpaid slightly to keep him.

Emeka Okafor turned a year of improved health and worse play into a 6 year, $72 million contract from Charlotte, the details of which are not listed on this website purely because I forgot. That's how we roll around here.

Toronto re-signed Jose Calderon quickly and easily to a 5 year, $45 millionc ontract. In the opening stages of free agency, the players signed are almost always overpaid. See also: Toronto, Jason Kapono, last year. But this time, that's not the case. I'm teary eyed.

Chris Paul and Deron Williams both agreed to max extensions, in possibly the easiest negotiations in the world.

"How many years do you want?"
"Four."
"OK, done."

Easy. Cuts the heartache out of it.

Andrew Bogut took a 5 year, $60 million extension from Milwaukee, one which he'll justify if he makes an improvement like last year's. Unfortunately, Scott Skiles is his coach now.




Reasonably big deals:

The Mavericks gave the full MLE to DeSagana Diop, without changing their core at all. Their core was never good enough, and yet all they do to change it is add Diop, a backup centre who may well start under some misguided "tempo" concept. Hmmm. So when you were nearly good enough to win a title, Diop wasn't enough to get you over the hump, yet now that you're nowhere near one, he's all you need? I don't understand this. Nor do I understand why a man who has never scored above 10 points in a game deserves $32.4 million. And I've tried to understand that, I really have.

Cleveland retained shooters Delonte West and Daniel Gibson for noticably less than the MLE each. Alternatively, you could say that they've both been retained for the cost of one Rick Snow. Either way, I'm worried about this new version of the Cavs. You know, the one that does good business sometimes. And which has some idea of what decent guard play is.

J.R. Smith re-signed with Denver, and George Karl will be gone before J.R. is. Which should please both of them.

Joe Dumars surprised us all when he signed Kwame Brown to a 2 year, $8 million deal. Come on, Joe. You're better than that.

Never bound by society's conformities, the Golden State Warriors filled their backup centre hole with Ronny Turiaf, a power forward. This might not be the best idea, but it's a better idea than using Al Harrington there. In overpaying to make sure that the Lakers didn't match, the Warriors overpaid.

The Lakers paid Sasha Vujacic 3 years and $15 million after three seasons of piss poor everything and one season of fine jumpshooting. Paying someone on the basis of one season is always a risky proposition, and it sure as hell didn't work out for Vujacic's namesake, Sasha Pavlovic. But then again, Vujacic didn't subject himself to an embarassing holdout, and probably won't show up to camp 25 pounds overweight like Pavlovic did. This will help stave off any dramatic Pavlovic-like demise.

James Jones signed a five year deal with Miami that has only two years of guaranteed money, which seems like a rather odd thing to do. His presence will once again ensure that Dorell Wright never actually plays, which seems to be a priority for the Heat.

Minnesota re-signed Ryan Gomes to a very similar deal to that of Jones, with the added advantage that Gomes is comfortably the better player.

New Jersey has enough forwards already, but that didn't stop them giving a four year contract to Eduardo Najera, either unaware of oblivious to the fact that four year contracts to 32 year old forwards who were never any good anyway are usually bad news. They gave a similar sized but shorter contract to Keyon Dooling in a sign and trade, meaning that a man who averages 3.9 assists per 48 minutes is now their backup point guard. I'm not sure what they're trying to achieve, to be honest.

New Orleans were lauded for giving James Posey the full MLE for 4 years, but we'll see how they feel in two years time, when a soon-to-be-34 year old Posey will have two years and $13.4 million remaining. Lest we forget - his importance was magnified due to the Celtics championship run, but Posey himself is past 30 and beginning to decline. Get as much as you can out of him next year, because that's the sole year of value.

New York gave Chris Duhon the full MLE for two years, under the misguided idea that he's the type of player that will reverse their fortunes. Such logic was used on Jared Jeffries, and such logic was wrong. Like Jeffries, Duhon is fatally flawed. He's only pass first because he's a terrible offensive guard, and he only has such a nice assist/turnover ratio because he never attempts even slightly tricky passes. Don't go around thinking that this man is good for your halfcourt offense. He isn't. And if his defense doesn't come back to where it was, you'll be wondering what in the hell you just signed.

Robert Swift took the qualifying offer to return to the Thunder, one which was rather generously extended given that Swift has played only 96 out of a possible 7872 minutes these past two seasons. (That's 1.219%, percentage fans.)

Orlando rather foolishly gave Mickael Pietrus the full mid level exception for 4 seasons. The Magic are a franchise that have to severly limit their own budget from here on out after the ridiculous Rashard Lewis contract, and yet now they've gone and overpaid for Pietrus, a miedocre player who also happens to play a position where the Magic already have two vastly superior players (Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu). If Orlando has any aspirations over playing Pietrus at shooting guard, they're about to find out the hard way how bad of an idea that is. I don't care how good Turkoglu is - you can't have Jameer Nelson and Pietrus as your backcourt. Not unless you want Tony Battie to handle the ball handling duties.

Louis Williams re-signed with Philadelphia for a bargain price of 5 years and $25 million. That is less than half of what Monta Ellis got from Golden State, and Williams is not less than half the player that Monta Ellis is. Not sure how they got this done.

Sacramento gave their full MLE to Beno Udrih, on account of his "breakout" season, overlooking the fact that 12.8 points and 4.3 assists with a less than 2:1 assist to turnover ratio is decidedly unremarkable from a starting point guard.

San Antonio, finally with money to spend, replaced the aging Brent Barry with another shooter in Roger Mason, as well as bringing back Kurt Thomas. Both contracts are slightly too big, but both are for only two years, which makes it worthwhile. (Readers note: such logic is also the saving grace of the Chris Duhon deal, and would have been the saving grace of the Mickael Pietrus deal had Orlando gone that route.)

Oklahoma City's first free agency splash involved throwing a hell of a lot of money to the uproven C.J. Miles. The contract was surprisingly large at 4 years and $14.8 million. Even more surprisingly, Utah matched it. Almost immediately after doing so, though, owner Larry Miller voiced concerns about the Jazz's proximity to the luxury tax in the near future. Yes, well, you should have thought of that before you matched the Miles deal. The saving grace is that Jerry Sloan will have to actually play Miles now.




Small, non-minimum deals:

The Clippers signed Kelenna Azubuike to a reasonable three year offer sheet, which Golden State matched once Maurice Evans turned his back on them. Keeping Azubuike represents decent value for Golden State, but after the Maggette signing, one of either Azubuike or Marco Belinelli is going to once again be nailed to the bench, neither of whom should be there. Evans then went to Atlanta for a cheap price, where he'll do a reasonably decent job of replacing Josh Childress in the rotation.

Soon after signing Evans, Atlanta then signed Ronald Murray, for no particular reason. If you want him to be your backup point guard, good luck.

Boston brought Eddie House and Tony Allen for average prices. Reasonable moves free of cynicism.

Seemingly sure that they've got enough, Dallas re-signed Devean George, Antoine Wright and Juan Jose Barea for a combined $11.6 million. Why they keep paying Devean George is beyond me. The others are all right.

Walter Herrmann re-signed with Detroit for only one year and $2 million, and now that Jarvis Hayes has gone, they might actually play him.

Houston's sole free agency signing has been giving the LLE to Brent Barry, giving them an extra needed shooter but doing nothing to resolve their point guard problem. The Rockets are saving their MLE for Carl Landry, who remains unsigned for whatever reason. (Can you hear me, Memphis? Indiana? Charlotte? So what if they match, you can try, right?)

(EDIT: Well done, Charlotte. Now watch Houston match because of how small that offer sheet is.)

Ricky Davis signed with the Clippers. The money's good ($2.3 million next year), but the depth it gives them could be both a blessing and a curse - with Eric Gordon and Cuttino Mobley also at shooting guard, and Tim Thomas and Al Thornton getting small forward minutes, where does Ricky get his minutes? If he's not going to get any, why sign him? Still, it's good to have options.

Memphis signed Marc Gasol and Hamed Haddadi to replace Kwame Brown and Jason Collins at the centre spots, successfully ensuring that Darko Milicic is now their most experienced centre. Doesn't sound good when you put it like that, but as young centre projects go, these two are worthwhile.

Needing a starting point guard, the Heat brought back Chris Quinn, who is in no way a starting point guard. However, resigning The Quinn is a decent failsafe move, unlike what any pursuit of Stephon Marbury will be. The Heat also brought in Yakhouba Diawara, because you can never have too many absolutely awful offensive guards, and they also brought back Dorell Wright on a two year deal so that he can sit behind the two other small forwards that they brought in this year. It's weird that they do this, you know.

Milwaukee made three rather cheap but totally pointless signings. They brought in Francisco Elson as a tiny upgrade to Dan Gadzuric, in spite of Elson's bad season last year. They brought in Malik Allen, apparently not satisfied with their quota of sub-45% shooting jumpshooting 'power' forward pansies. And they brought in Tyronn Lue as a second or third point guard, in spite of the fact that he shares that same weakness as his peers Ramon Sessions and Luke Ridnour - he can't defend. It doesn't seem to me like they've correctly identified their flaws from last year. Still, nice trade they made. (More on this later.)

Sebastian Telfair turned a season of poor shooting, mediocre defense and largely meaningless assists into a three year, $8.1 million contract. If nothing else, last year was an improvement over what went before, which doesn't say much. Aside from that, the Timberwolves also re-signed Craig Smith for the bargain price of 2 years and $4.8 million, meaning that Smith will experience unrestricted free agency at the earliest possible opportunity. One of the better backup big men in the league, and he's signed for that cheap with no real suitors? Really? Why do people keep selling Craig Smith so short? He should never have fallen to the second round, and he should never be signed for less than players such as Francisco Elson and Kwame Brown. So what gives? Who cares that he's a slightly fat 6'7? He's good. Respect this.

New Jersey signed Jarvis Hayes, even after trading for Bobby Simmons and agreeing to terms with Eduardo Najera. I don't know why they did this. Don't be fooled into thinking that Hayes is an outside shooter. He isn't. And if it's an outside shooter from the forward spots that you want, make Keith Van Horn start turning up. He probably won't be much use, but.....well, I won't say what I was about to say because I've vowed to become a nicer person.

Anthony Johnson signed with Magic, replacing Carlos Arroyo as the backup point guard. Bill Walton once said about him, "if Johnson ever gets a jumpshot, who's going to stop him?". Well, Johnson now has one, so I guess he's now unstoppable. Getting an unstoppable player is not bad for the bi-annual exception.

Toronto brought in their former draft pick, Roko Ukic, to be their backup point guard. Ukic is about to turn 28, and isn't nearly the prospect that we think he is, yet his 12.7 scoring average as a shoot first point guard is apparently enough to be a primary NBA backup point guard. M'kay. We'll see. Colour me sceptical.

(EDIT - Um, whoops. Ignore that bit about Ukic. I'm a twat.)



Part two in a minute.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of Quinton Ross?

There follows a list of the remaining unsigned NBA free agents, and what they're currently rumoured to be doing about their jobless selves. Most of these players suck, because we're over a month into free agency now. Yet this list may still serve as a useful resource if you're sifting through the remaining chunks of free agency vomit, looking for gold dust and/or your brand new watch, relentlessly apologising for ruining the whole party and vowing never to mix Bourbon and Gaymers again. Maybe.

NOTE - decent free agents from other leagues not listed partly because this is an NBA website, and partly because I can't be bothered.


Point guards:

- Kevin Ollie: Recently annointed a role model for reasons other than just the moustache, that video is possibly the only thing on the internet that suggests that some teams want to sign Ollie. By the way, did you know that that's how he spoke? I didn't. I thought it'd be deeper than that. Ho hum.

- Shaun Livingston: Still not cleared to play basketball. In spite of this, the Clippers have talked to him about re-signing anyway, and Miami and Phoenix both also showed an interest. And why wouldn't they? Take a look down this list at how bad the rest of this free agency point guards list is. If you needed a point guard, wouldn't you rather have the guy whose knee doesn't work, than, say, Smush Parker?

- Sam Cassell: Said he intends to play one more year before becoming an assistant coach. "Expects" to stay with the Celtics, who don't seem to be reciprocating quite as much. Cassell either was or wasn't a judge at a pole dancing competition, depending on whether you believe the Boston Globe or Sam himself.

- Jannero Pargo: Apparently on the cusp of signing with the San Antonio Spurs, which seems like an odd decision. Firstly, they don't have much money to give him, which is the reason why Jannero has opted out of contracts two years in a row. Secondly, the reason that they don't have any money is because they spent it on Roger Mason Jr, and why the HELL would you want to pair Jannero Pargo and Roger Mason Jr? Not sure I get that. Even if you start Mason - an idea fraught with danger - and persevere with bringing Manu Ginobili off of the bench, you still get a load of duplication from those two. So what's the point?

- Darrell Armstrong: His agent says that Armstrong has turned down "multiple" coaching opportunities in favour of one more go-around as a player. (If that makes sense.) Orlando were mildly interested. The Nets....less so.

- Dan Dickau: Is considering signing with one of several European teams. He has to - the money's good, and the NBA offers are sparse. More importantly, Dan Dickau is also to host a celebrity poker tournament, sweetened by the deal-breaking offer of a gift bag. So get famous and sign up.

- Damon Stoudamire: The only team with the slightest reported interest is Phoenix. It doesn't seem surprising that no one's looking at Damon, given how badly he did with the Spurs last year, and also because of the giant salad fork sticking out of his back.

- Jason Williams: My great idea for him to re-sign with Sacramento doesn't seem to be working out, given that they brought back a different old boy instead in Bobby Jackson. Williams has had offers from at least one European team, but he doesn't sound too keen on the idea. Shaq wants him in Phoenix, which doesn't really mean anything.

- Andre Owens: No idea. Nothing.

- Chris Quinn (restricted): Hot shit, apparently. The Timberwolves, Clippers, Hawks, Warriors and Wizards have apparently all expressed an interest, and the Heat still have a qualifying offer out there. Life is good for Chris Quinn, even if he is technically unemployed.

- Lindsey Hunter: Hasn't yet decided it he wants to play one more season. If he does, it'll be with Detroit.

- Blake Ahearn: Says that Minnesota "really likes" him after his performances for their summer league team, but hasn't signed anything yet.




Shooting guards:

- Ben Gordon (restricted): Wants a payday like the one Luol Deng just got, in spite of the fact that he has absolutely no free agency suitors other than the Bulls, and also that he isn't as good as Deng. The Bulls want him back - or at least say that they do - and talks are ongoing. But, in the words of fabled philosopher Tim Baland, it's gone get ugly, if it hasn't done so already. (Note: original lyrics may differ.)

- J.R. Smith (restricted): Denver have said that they will match any offer, but Cleveland are apparently about to test that resolve with a full mid level exception offer. Jesus, people. It's J.R. Smith.

- Michael Finley: His agent Henry Thomas says that Finley has turned down some fairly lucrative European offers in favour of a final turn in the NBA. His agent also claims that several "championship calibre teams" want Finley, which means there's no chance of a return to Dallas. (Ho ho ho, see what I did there?)

- Delonte West (restricted): Cleveland are half-arsedly negotiating with him, while also trying far harder to sign J.R. Smith, and simultaneously bringing in Tarence Kinsey as an insurance policy. That can't make West feel good. Boston were supposedly interested in taking him back, and a well paid European offer is on the table, as it is for basically everybody. In fact, it might make more sense for me to merely say who ISN'T being offered big money from Europe.

- Devin Brown: He's not going back to Cleveland. Dallas, New Orleans, Denver and Atlanta are his suitors.

- Gordan Giricek: Wants to return to Phoenix, the team with whom he enjoyed a decent cameo to end last season, but the Suns won't offer more than the minimum, which Giricek won't take. There's a lucractive European offer on the table - OBVIOUSLY - and also some NBA offers from teams that no one wants to name. They must be embarassed at themselves or osmething.

- Ronald Murray: Cleveland "enquired", and that's all we've got. Is it me, or are the Indiana press totally disinterested in reporting the potential destinations of their free agent guards? We know they're not going back to Indiana, but play the game, at least.

- Kirk Snyder: Minnesota didn't offer him a QO, then acquired Rodney Carney to take his place, and no other teams seem to have showed interest? Why is that? He's not THAT bad.

- Quinton Ross: Renounced by the Clippers, ignored by everyone else. WHY, God? WHY? Kareem Rush gets signed early, yet Quinton Ross can't even find a suitor. Rigoddamndiculous.

- Fred Jones: In keeping with our recent little string of "not all that bad shooting guards getting unfairly overlooked", Fred Jones is unsigned and unloved. Come on now. These players aren't great, or even starters. But they're decent players, being dealt the disservice of being stuck at the NBA deepest position. I demand that they be signed.

- Juan Dixon: Gilbert Arenas wants him back in Washington. That's about it.

- Salim Stoudamire: I want to sign him. I'm the only one, though.

- Derek Anderson: Nothing.

- Von Wafer: Played summer league with the Knicks, but won't make their roster.

- Shannon Brown: Couldn't (or wouldn't) even get a summer league spot. He's gone.

- Casey Jacobsen: Memphis waived Tarence Kinsey for this guy, don't you know? Jacobsen isn't going back to Memphis, and has no NBA interest to fall back on.

- Yakhouba Diawara: For seemingly no reason, Denver is considering re-signing Diawara, despite just replacing him with the superior Dahntay Jones. Well, good for them.

- Eric Piatkowski: In recent weeks, Piatkowski has lit the torch at the 24th Cornhusker State Games (whatever they are), and gotten caught up in some dodgy business. However, there's no news of another NBA contract, despite how much Pike wants it. Nonetheless, in that first link, we are treated to the finest Eric Piatkowski quote of all time:

I refuse to not be successful in everything I do.

Apart from double negative usage classes, you never will not be.

- Mario West: Stayed with Atlanta for summer league, but, without a qualifying offer, it doesn't look too likely that he's going back. No one else has said much.

- Ronald Dupree: Went to Oklahoma City's summer league team wearing Seattle Supersonics coloured shoes, albeit probably not on purpose. Unlikely to return, but the man remains confident.

- DerMarr Johnson: Being arrested for DUI didn't do much to strengthen his position as a fringe NBA player.



Small forwards:

- Andre Iguodala (restricted): Negotiations with the Sixers are still in "limbo", but...come on. He's going back there. Where the hell else is he going? The man will fight for the biggest payday, but we all know that he'll get one eventually. Let's not pretend otherwise. Feel free to berate me mercliessly for writing all this bobbins once Iguodala takes the one year qualifying offer and signs with Portland next summer.

- Bonzi Wells: Surprisingly overlooked. New Orleans would rather bring back Ryan Bowen than Bonzi, which is the worst insult that you can give a man. The 6 year contract from Sacramento that Bonzi turned down two years ago is getting ever more hurtful.

- Devean George: Has "several" suitors, but the Clippers are no longer among them, and Dallas apparently aren't either.

- Dorell Wright (restricted): The Heat are "open" to a sign and trade, but to who? No one seems to have expressed an interest.

- Jeremy Richardson (restricted): You can pretty much pencil him in for the Hawks training camp.

- Louis Amundson: A month ago, it seemed a matter of time before Amundson signed a contract with the Golden State Warriors. But then it didn't happen. And now I don't know what's happening.

- Demetris Nichols (restricted): With no suitors and a qualifying offer out there, he'll almost certainly be going to the Bulls training camp, to battle for a spot with players cheaper than he.

- Awvee "Booooo!" Storey: Had his team option declined by Milwaukee, but played on their summer league team anyway. Didn't play very well. No one else wants him.

- Michael Gelabale: No one seems interested, which is probably due to his bad knee injury more than anything.

- Ryan Bowen: See above. A league in which Ryan Bowem has more suitors than Quinton Ross is a very fucked-up league indeed.

- Ira Newble: Nothing to report.

- Marcus Williams: Renounced by the Clippers, not courted by others.

- Linton Johnson: It would make sense to return to Phoenix for the minimum, but that's just me theorising, and not a breaking news report.

- Kasib Powell (restricted): Played well for the Heat in summer league, and looks destined to at least go to their training camp, if not make the regular season roster.



Power forwards:

- Josh Smith (restricted): Still unsigned, as well you know. But it's hard to imagine Atlanta buggering this one up.

- Carl Landry (restricted): The Rockets are idiots if they don't re-sign him. Given that they're clearing out some salary by dumping Steve Novak, it looks as though they intend to.

- Austin Croshere: Theories abound of a Golden State return, but nothing is certain.

- Paul Davis: The Clippers renounced him, but were talking about re-signing him anyway, until news of the impending Steve Novak trade. So that probably rules Davis out.

- James Augustine: Waived by Orlando. If anyone can explain to me how a man that wasn't under contract was able to be waived, let me know.

- Othella Harrington: The knees don't work any more, so don't expect a return.

- Juwan Howard: Things are looking bleak.

- Andre Brown: Nada.

- Shavlik Randolph: Randolph didn't look too bad in his rookie season but has barely taken the court since. No suitors, as you'd expect.

- Sean Marks: Can you believe that Sean Marks has been in the league for 8 years now? 8 years??? How many games has he played in that time? Can't be more than about 14, surely. Things don't look good for a ninth year, but Phoenix seem to love veteran offensive players on minimum salary contracts, so a third year there is still plausible.

- Pat Garrity: His agent said that he (Pat, not the agent) will probably retire if he doesn't re-sign with Orlando. So he's basically destined to retire.

- Robert Horry: The Spurs don't seem to want to play any more, which leaves Horry dangerously short of options, unless the Celtics need someone to mentor Brian Scalabrine.

- Nick Fazekas: The Clippers eventually retracted his qualifying offer - with his consent - which makes Fazekas a free man. Or, if you look at it another way, a homeless man.



Centres:

- Jake Voskuhl: Doesn't even register. NBA people barely acknjowledge his existence. There is always a rush in September to sign tall "defensive" veteran centres, so Voskuhl may get work then, but any dreams of a contract similar to last year's $3 million one from the Milwaukee Bucks have gone by now. They should never have existed in the first place, really.

- Jamaal Magloire: See Voskuhl, but change it to $4 million. Maybe people are starting to recognise that he hasn't been good for about 4 years.

- P.J. Brown: I have no evidence to back this up, but given that he just won the title, wouldn't this be a good moment to call it quits?

- Dikembe Mutombo: His agent says that he won't play for the minimum, which doesn't bode well for his chances of a return to the cost cutting Rockets. That's OK - they'll still have the best defensive team in the NBA even without him.

- Francisco Elson: Was rumoured to be talking to Denver about a possible return, but the Nuggets signed Chris Andersen instead because he was cheaper. Negotiating with the Clippers.

- Robert Swift (restricted): Oklahoma City seem keen to keep him, as evidenced by the qualifying offer that they gave him, despite how little he has played in two years. Other teams seem more perturbed by Swift's incessant knee problems, perhaps rightly so. Personally, I hope it all works out great for him.

- Michael Doleac: His agent offered Doleac's services to Orlando, but do they really need another sub-par backup big man? Does anyone, in fact?

- Chris Richard (restricted): Kevin McHale makes it sound as though Richard's definitely returning. The cheap price and the lack of suitors seem to confirm this.

- Theo Ratliff: I swear I read somewhere during midseason that he intended to retire after this season, but I can't find it now, so forget that I said anything.

- David Harrison: The Pacers have ruled out re-signing him, leaving Harrison with roughly zero options.

- Earl Barron: The Heat are out of room, and Barron's not 18 years old any more. No suitors.

- Alonzo Mourning: Said "one more season" for about the fifth time, but hasn't signed yet.

- Scot Pollard: Unsigned, and not courted, which probably has something to do with the reconstructive surgery on both ankles. And also the fact that it's Scot Pollard.

- Dwayne Jones: Not expected back with Cleveland, which leaves him shit out of luck. Shame.

- Michael Ruffin: No news is normally good news, unless you're Michael Ruffin and yot're awaiting news from your agent of possible contract offers from NBA teams.

- Didier Ilunga-Mbenga: Might be invited to the Lakers training camp, or he might not. It's going to be inconsequential either way.

- Lorenzen Wright: Considering how bad he was during his two years in Atlanta - when he had 186 points, 253 rebounds and 230 fouls - I'm going to go out on a limb and say that no one will sign him. I've got a crow ready and waiting, but I think he's safe.



It's hard to think that all of that crap was in the NBA last year. Bad times.