Top 24 NBA Sex Scandals Of The Last 15 Years

In case you missed it, a story "broke" (if that's the right way to phrase something that's been around, but underacknowledged, since about 1998) NBA legend Karl Malone knocked up a 13 year old girl when he was a college player. Why this has gone past us so quietly is a mystery, but it does seem to be just one more in a long list of recent NBA sex scandals. And so here is that list.

Stories listed in no particular order.

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LIST OF NBA PLAYERS (and owners) IN RAPE/WEIRD NAUGHTY SEX STUFF SCANDALS:


1 - Karl Malone: See above.

2 - Bryant Matthews: Former Raptor (for about a week) only got out of jail earlier this year for a rape charge in which he walked in on his friend and his friend's girlfriend having sex in a hotel room, and stuck his fingers in her lovely lady lump. His in-court defense was "[I] thought she was cool with it". Apparently she wasn't. Served nine months.

3 - DeShawn Stevenson: Had consensual sex with a 14 year old when he was 20, which isn't rape in the she-didn't-want-it sense, but which is clearly statutory. Pleaded no contest to sex with a minor. Was sentenced to 2 years probation and 100 hours of community service, which somewhat sadistically was served at a "Boys And Girls" club.

4 - Ruben Patterson: Sentenced to a year in jail (all but 15 days of which were suspended) after pleading no contest to an attempted rape charge on his nanny. Allegedly, she came in to find Patterson standing naked, masturbating. He then forced her to gigoogidy his gerschmoigin, and ejaculated within seconds. Only then did he let her leave. Allegedly. Also fined $100,000 by the Blazers, which seemed a little ironic since they'd just given him $35 million, even with this charge hanging over him. Additionally received 2 years probation, a $5,000 fine and had to pay the nanny.

5 - Chris Webber and Juwan Howard: Accused of sexual assault. Jury decided not to indict. Howard later sued the accuser, won, and donated his $100,000 settlement to a rape crisis centre.

6 - Ron Mercer, Antoine Walker and Chauncey Billups: Details on this are sparse, but apparently they were sued for rape. Why would you sue for rape? Why wouldn't you press charges? I don't get it. Either way, no charges were brought, and an out-of-court settlement was reached. (The incident took place at Walker's home, where - allegedly - he walked in on the act, and declined his housemate Michael Irvin's invitation to dive right in there. Strange times.)

7 - Andray Blatche: Arrested and charged with solicitation. Was sentenced to attend a day's seminar on the dangers of prostitution, which seems like no punishment whatsoever.

8 - Kwame Brown: Accused of sexual assault after a playoff game. No charges brought due to a lack of evidence. The woman in question admitted to a consensual encounter, and then apparently it got less consensual. But that doesn't explain why she then hung around for hours afterwards.

9 - Kobe Bryant: Yeah, you know this story. Case dropped in criminal court, settlement reached in civil court.

10 - Jahidi White: Investigated for sexual assault. Details extremely absent. No charges. (Rumour has it that it involved a nude Oriental lady and a fat white chick. Allegedly. And lots of crying.)

11 - Julius Hodge: Accused of sexual assault on a Denver woman. The woman claimed that, after driving her back to her house after being at a club, Hodge forced her onto the bed and tried to rape her. No charges were brought due to lack of evidence. The woman was then jailed for violating her concurrent probation by being out that late.

12 - Michael Olowokandi: Sued for rape by a woman who claims that the encounter led to the less-than-immaculate conception. Can't seem to find out what became of this.

13 - Mo Peterson, Cliff Robinson, Juwan Howard again: All sued at some point for allegedly deliberating infecting someone with herpes. In Juwan's case, it happened twice. The suit against Robinson was for an enormous $20 million, and tests showed that he did (does?) indeed have it. (The herpes, not the $20 million.)

14 - Sam Cassell: Accused of rape way back in 1996. No charges brought.

15 - Elden Campbell: Sued for an apparent date rape, in which he allegedly drugged someone before raping them. I don't know what became of this, because it was back in 1997, and my only source of research is the internet. And the internet wasn't much back in 1997. But obviously not much came of it, or else we would have known about it. Date rape is a pretty bloody serious allegation, after all.

16 - Latrell Sprewell: Investigated for sexual assault after apparently choking a woman he was having consensual sex with on his boat. Don't know what became of this, which implies that it was probably nothing. (But he did later have the boat repossessed.)

17 - Donald Sterling: Admitted to paying a woman for sex for a numbers of years. The story offered up some awesome quotes.

18 - George Shinn: Accused of a kidnapping-for-sex charge, after allegedly luring a woman whom he knew was addicted to prescription drugs to his home, and shagging her. Admitted to having sex with her, but said it was consensual. No criminal charges were brought, and acquitted in civil court.

19 - Bobby Simmons: Arrested for misdemeanour fourth degree assault after allegedly fondling the breasts of a woman who got into his car in the early hours of the morning, and then punching her in the face. Charges not brought due to lack of evidence.

20 - Bernard Robinson Jr: Arrested and charged with assault and battery on a female student after touching her up in a stairwell. Sentenced to a year's probation which included such terms as a written letter of apology, never talking to the girl again, being fined $850, complete abstention from drugs an alcohol, and being forced to partcipiate in sex offender "screening" to see if he had serial sex offender tendencies. Which must have been soul destroying.

21 - Justin Williams: Accused of rape. Later dropped. It never became official, but his lawyer alluded to the fact that he did nail the chick while on camera, which would have been rather conclusive in a court of law as to the level of consensual loving.

22 - Calvin Murphy: Former player and Rockets announcer accused of sexual abuse by 5 of his illegitimate children (he has 14 kids, 11 illegitimate). Jury acquitted him in less than two hours. But he lost his job and his reputation, so the damage was done.

23 - Eddie Johnson: "Fast" Eddie Johnson (not the other Eddie Johnson, the sixth man award winner, but the one who is a former Hawks player) was accused of sexual assault on an 8 year old girl. As far as I can tell, he is awaiting sentencing, but that may be wrong.

24 - Nick Anderson: Accused of rape. Held a press conference on the subject in which he cried a hell of a lot



Add any of your own. (Not "add any of your own rape charges", but "add any of your own submissions for NBA players sex scandals that I may have missed.)

The Juan Carlos Navarro Experience

After the completion of the Grizzlies's second consecutive piss poor season, Spanish guard Juan Carlos Navarro immediately returned to his native Spain.

Immediately.

And why wouldn't he? A free agent this offseason, Navarro has been roundly stiffed by Memphis, who have managed to mismanage his situation rather spectacularly, in the way that only they know how. Let's recap:


1: Memphis traded a protected first rounder to Washington for the draft rights to Navarro.

2: They then sign Darko Milicic to a big deal, taking up most of their cap space..

3: Then, the Grizzlies completely inexplicably sign Casey Jacobsen and Andre Brown to minimum salary deals before completing negotiations with Navarro, as well as sign Mike Conley to his rookie deal (thus making his cap number 120% of the scale, not the 100% that was billed before he signed.)

As a result, they were left with only just above the minimum left from their cap room to give Navarro ($538,050), after he had already sealed his buyout with Barcelona. Navarro, as a result, had to take the only offer that Memphis could give him - one made unnecessarily piss poor by those stupid and inconsequential Jacobsen and Brown signings - and wound up playing for an overall financial loss last season.

Memphis then sucked gargantuan ass all year, and also traded away Juan's mate, Pau Gasol.

In the end, Navarro left Europe to come to the NBA, where he was treated with less money, less minutes, less acclaim, less wins, and less friends than he had just left his native country for.

So no, I shouldn't imagine that he's entirely sold on the idea of coming back.

Good ol' Memphis. They handled this well. They're a fine organisation at heart.



(But seriously: Casey Jacobsen???)

How To Get A Job As Head Coach

Two interesting snippets from Marc Spears's latest Celtics Notebook.

Neither of them are funny or mature, therefore they're just perfect for this blog.


1)

Glen Davis is now sporting a Mohawk. No, there was no rookie hazing involved. "Big Baby" said he has wanted one for a while and had his hair cut Monday. Asked what his teammates thought, Davis said, "They said it's horrible." Rivers joked, "I don't think you have to make Baby do things to draw attention to [himself]. He'll draw attention on his own."

(Pictured above)


2)

Celtics assistant Tom Thibodeau has been rumored as a candidate for the Bulls' coaching job. "I don't get into that," said Rivers. "It's the middle of the season. I'm not commenting or talking about that. I want [all my assistants] to get [head] jobs.

(Thankfully not pictured above)



I have nothing insightful of interesting to add to any of this. Just thought I should fire it out there.

Just let it be known that, every time the words "head job" appears in any NBA related context, I'll be sure to mention it.

The Paper Bag Protest

In protest at the constant mismanagement of their team, Milwaukee Bucks fans are planning a paper bag protest, to air their previously unaired (or rather, unheard) grievances about owner Herb Kohl's consistent mismanagement of the franchise. For those unaware of why the protest in place, Senator Kohl is the team's owner, but believes himself to be the team's general manager, having his way in basically all personel moves and even some of the coaching decisions.

The problem is that he's really bad at it.

The details of the protest can be found here.

This post comes too late to be able to help enlist any support for the night of the protest itself, but I've made it anyway, in a bid to show my support for their cause.

Rock it, sisters.

Introducing Atlanta Hawks cheerleader, Briana

I think I've made my point.

Justin Williams's rape accusation

As you probably heard about, Sacramento Kings big man Justin Williams has been accused of drugging and raping a woman that he met at a party at his house last week. If you didn't know that, you heard it here first!, which is not really a good thing.

It seems a particularly noteworthy rape accusation towards and NBA player to chronicle, though, for it has a certain facet to it that no previos accusation has had. This new wrinkle is the fact that Williams, apparently, has "proof" that there no rape going on, as told to us by Williams's lawyer:

The truth is nothing happened that night that was not consensual, and we have proof of it," William J. Portanova, Williams' lawyer, told the Sacramento Bee. "While some people may find it distasteful to think about it, it's a reality of 21st-century life."

Hmmm, OK.

So let's assume the obvious for a moment here, and assume that Williams's "proof" is a video tape of some sort, of this encounter of some sort. That seems to be pretty certainly what it's going to be, unless somebody can think of another 21st Century way of proving consensual sexual encounters. (In the 18th century, they had paintings. True story.)

This poses a few posers.

1) If the woman knew she was being filmed, how can a girl cry rape when she's having consensual sex, consensually, on camera?

2) If she DIDN'T know she was being filmed, is Williams not commiting a serious crime by covertly filming her like this? Just because she has consented to taking it in the ass, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is totally cool with the idea of being filmed doing it. And even though it's his house, is there not a human rights issue going on there?

3) Is it normal for an NBA player to be picking up floozies for fun and frolics at a house party attended by numerous employees of the team he is playing for? Even for a team owned by the Maloof brothers?

Also, when are we going to see the first NBA sex tape, and how have we come this far (so to speak) without one to date (so to speak)? And, when the inevitable does come out (so to speak), who will be the one to do it (so to speak)?


My money is on Robert Swift. That bastard is crazy enough to do it. I originally thought it might be Ron Artest, but he'd just film himself posing nude or something. Swift, though, might do it. He seems sufficiently confident. Also, there's no doubt that he's ploughing his way through some serious tofu, so you know the opportunity is there. Have you seen the guy lately?




Sexayyyyy.

(Dennis Rodman doesn't count, by the way. First, he's not in the NBA any more, and second, it's tooooooo obvious.)

Some Euro signings you may give a shit about

Some players and free agents who signed in Europe (or other countries in general) that you may or may not care about. I have tried to keep the relevance to those who either get spoken about as good signing candidates, those who were in the NBA last year, or those of significance who made summer league rosters this year. I can't name everybody. Well, I could, but I don't care enough.


- Martynas Andriuskevicius is about to sign for Joventut in Spain.
- Luke Schenscher signed for Bamburg in Germany.
- P.J. Ramos signed for Fuenlabrada in Spain.
- Michael Bradley signed for ALBA Berlin in Germany.
- Will Blalock signed for Hapoel Jerusalem in Israel.
- Marcus Fizer signed for Maccabi Tel Aviv, also in Israel.
- Nikoloz Tskitishvil signed with Teramo in Italy.
- Ersan Ilyasova signed with Barcelona. In Spain. Obviously.
- Julius Hodge signed with Varese in Italy.
- James Singleton signed with Tau Vitoria in Spain.
- Lawrence Roberts signed with Olympiakos in Greece.
- Jared Reiner signed with Murcia in Spain.
- Zeljko Rebraca signed with Pamesa Valencia in Spain.
- Bracey Wright signed with Aris Thessaloniki in Greece.


More when I can be arsed.

Garnett traded to Boston

The Minnesota Timberwolves have finally traded Kevin Garnett - two years too late, but whatever - to the Boston Celtics for five players and two picks (not loaves and fish, as you might expect). This is weird on so many levels, but not least of all is the fact that this wll probably make Boston a good team next year, if you also account in the previous Ray Allen trade. And that's just a weird thing to think about. Boston being good? Preposterous. No team run by Danny Ainge and coached by Doc Rivers could ever be good......could it?

Boston now has the best 1-2-3 trio in the NBA with Garnett, Allen, and the incumbent Paul Pierce. They are absolute pap from the 4 through 9 spots, and are also committed now to a helluva lot of salary for not very many players. But how could they NOT do this deal?

Minnesota now has the best young post prospect in the league in Al Jefferson, plus a slightly improved financial situation and some other good youth, plus the picks. They now have way too many swing men on the roster, and still some bad contracts to work around, but the more I think about it the more I like this deal for them.

As for what this does league wide - Boston is now in amongst the best-in-the-East discussions, Minnesota will prop up the arse end of the West for a few years, and the Clippers still aren't going to get the Minnesota pick that they are owed.

But hey, at least Minnesota can tank less subtlely this season now. And the Boston vs Minnesota preseason game in London that I intend to see just got that much more interesting.

How Danny Ainge fluked himself into this situation is something that I think will confound us all for a long time yet.

Paul Shirley's book

Paul Shirley wrote a book. Buy it.


Additionally, when buying the book, be sure to mention that you heard about it from here first. If you do this, you're entitled to absolutely no refund at all, but it'd pacify me.