Players Whose Names Aren't (Or Weren't) Really Their Names

This isn't especially interesting, and definitely isn't important, but it's something I've noticed a lot over the years of doing this. A lot of NBA players's first names we know them aren't really their first names. Some are abridgements, some are nicknames, some are misnomers that are so widespread that they're kind of stuck, and some are just non-sensical.

Here's a list of examples of that which pertain to this website.

- Tariq Abdul-Wahad: known as Olivier Saint-Jean before converting to Islam.

- Shareef Abdur-Rahim: Shareef is his middle name. First name Julius.

- Kenny Adeleke: his Facebook name is Kehnide, if nothing else.

- Deji Akindele: full name is either Ayodeji Joleel Akindele, or Jeleel Ayodeji Akindele. It's hard to tell.

- Blake Ahearn: Blake is his middle name, first name Daniel.

- Akin Akingbala: full name is Akinlolu Akinayi Akingbala, which is pretty spectacular.

- Ray Allen: full name is Walter Ray Allen. Bruce Willis's real first name is Walter, too. Walter seems to be a hated-on name. I quite like it. It reminds me of the fat guy from Micro Machines.

- Koko Archibong: real first name is Aniekan. Nickname origin unknown.

- Brandon Armstrong: his name is still Brandon, but his middle name is Simone, and I just wanted to bring that to your attention.

- Chucky Atkins: real name Kenneth. Nickname comes from his father, also called Kenneth, who was called Chucky while growing up for whatever reason.

- D.J. Augustin: nickname is an abbreviation of his real full name, Darryl Jerard Augustin.

- Larry Ayuso: real name Elias, as in the Sports Bureau. Nickname presumably originates from a desire to have an English name so that people too confused by the highly complicated nature of 'Elias' don't feel alienated. My Thai friend called herself 'Golf' for the same reason. We tried to tell her it wasn't a good idea, but she seemed fine with it.

- Marcus Banks: full name is Arthur Lemarcus Banks.

- Tony Battie: first name is actually Demetrius. "Antonio" is his middle name, hence the Tony.

- Rod Benson: not short for Rodney; full name is Rodrique Zsorryon Benson. Great name.

- Josh Boone: Josh is his middle name. His first name is Oscar, of all things.

- J.R. Bremer: real name Ernest. The J.R. comes from the fact that he's Ernest Jr.

- Kedrick Brown: Kedrick is his middle name. First name Albert.

- P.J. Brown: real name Collier. The P.J. stands for "peanut butter and jelly", his favourite food as a child. How wonderful. Cue bananas.

- Dee Brown (the Illinois one): real name Daniel. Given all the confusion with the other Dee Brown, maybe he could have changed back for our sakes.

- Rashid Byrd: used to be known as Rashid Hardwick; changed it in 2005. Don't know why.

- Mario Chalmers: Full first name is Almario.

- Keon Clark: Keon is his middle name. First name Arian.

- Speedy Claxton: real name Craig. Named Speedy because he is (or was) really fast. And not because he likes methamphetamines.

- Mardy Collins: real name Maurice. Reason for change unknown.

- Jamal Crawford: Jamal is his middle name. First name Aaron.

- T.J. Cummings (giggidy): real name Robert. The T.J. stands for Terry Jr, for he is the son of Terry Cummings, although he's not a real Junior.

- Stephen Curry: Stephen is his middle name. First name Wardell.

- Dale Davis: real name Elliot Lydell Davis. I'm guessing that Dale is a corruption of Lydell.

- Glen Davis: Glen is his middle name. First name Ronald.

- Ricky Davis: same thing. First name Tyree.

- Luol Deng: used to be known as Michael when he lived in England.

- Ike Diogu: Ike is actually his name, so his inclusion here might be erroneous, but it's not short for Isaac. Instead, it's short for Ikechukwu Somtochukwu.

- Joey Dorsey: real name Richard, but has been known as Joey since infancy, after he bounced so much as a baby that he resembled a kangaroo.

- Chuck Eidson: real name Charles. Obvious, really.

- Daniel Ewing: Daniel is his middle name. First name George.

- Olu Famutimi: short for Olumuyiwa.

- Marcus Fizer: Marcus is but one of his middle names. First name Darnell.

- T.J. Ford: T.J. is short for Terrance Jerod.

- Reece Gaines: Reece is his middle name. First name Clifton.

- J.R. Giddens: full name Justin Ray Giddens.

- C.J. Giles: C.J. is short for Chester Jarell.

- Tony Gipson: full name is Nicholas Antonio Gipson, which can make him hard to find in Europe.

- Dion Glover: real name is Micaiah Diondae Glover. It would appear that he's not overwhelmed by the idea of having the most unique name in the world.

- Venson Hamilton: Venson is his middle name. Real first name is Shad.

- Tyler Hansbrough: Tyler is his middle name. First name Andrew.

- Penny Hardaway: first name is Anfernee [sic]. You probably know that one already.

- Junior Harrington: first name is Lorinza. Unsurprisingly, he's a junior, hence the name.

- Lucious Harris: Lucious is his name all right, but the internet seems to suggest that, in Harry S Truman fashion, his middle name is merely "H." Maybe. Like the gay one from Steps. (Note: this is probably not the case, but it would be better if it was.)

- Chuck Hayes: as you'd expect, his name is Charles.

- Gerald Henderson: real name is Jerome McKinley Henderson, same as his dad's. Both of them go by Gerald for reasons I don't know.

- Richard Hendrix: first name is Venard, like his dad. Richard is his middle name.

- J.J. Hickson: stands for James Jr.

- Othello Hunter: Othello is his middle name. His first name is Tegba. He may well be the only man in the world with that combination.

- D.J. Mbenga: his full name is Didier Ilunga-Mbenga. "DJ" comes from what "Didier" sounds like when you say it in his accent, and he normally goes without the Ilunga because we haven't got all day.

- Ken Johnson: short for Kenyata, not Kenneth.

- Trey Johnson: real name is Clinton Johnson III. Nickname presumably comes from him being a third.

- DeAndre Jordan: DeAndre is his middle name. First name Hyland.

- Sasha Kaun: Sasha is short for Alexander.

- Tre' Kelley: real name is Alfrie. Since he's not a third, Tre' is presumably from his three point shooting. The apostrophe would appear to be his unnecessary unique slant on it.

- Kosta Koufos: Kosta is short for Konstantine.

- Keith Langford: Keith is his middle name. First name Andre.

- Tito Maddox: For those unaware, Tito is a reasonably common abbreviation of Theodore, Maddox's first name.

- Damir Markota: used to go by the surname Omerhodžić, but changed to Markota (his mother's maiden name) in 2004.

- Chet Mason: Chet is short for Chester, which you probably already knew.

- O.J. Mayo: O.J. stands for Ovinton J'Anthony. It would appear that he, too, is not sold on the idea of having the most unique name in the world.

- Scooter McFadgon: Scooter is a nickname. First name Cornelius. Brilliant.

- Pops Mensah-Bonsu: Full name is Nana Papa Yaw Mensah-Bonsu.

- C.J. Miles: Full name is Calvin Andrew Miles Jr, hence the C.J. (Calvin Junior).

- Mikki Moore: Real name is Clinton. Nickname comes from the fact that he was fat as a child (if you can believe that), and so he was so called after the fat kid, Little Mikey, from the Life Cereal commericals.

- B.J. Mullens: Can't seem to find out what the B.J. stands for. Can't seem to find out his birthday, either. He's an elusive little soul isn't he?

- Gabe Muoneke: Full name is Nnadubem Gabriel Enyinaya Muoneke. Gabriel abbreviates easier than Nnadubem does.

- Dikembe Mutombo: Full name is Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo.

- Nene: His name used to be Maybyner Hilario, but he went by the nickname "Nene", which meant "baby". Usually went by Nene Hilario in America. Eventually changed his name legally to just Nene.

- Moochie Norris: his name is Martyn. When he was a baby, his grandfather used to sing the Cab Calloway song "Minnie the Moocher" to him, his favourite song. It stuck.

- A.J. Ogilvy: A.J. stands for Andrew James.

- Emeka Okafor: full name is Chukwuemeka Ndubuisi Okafor.

- Bo Outlaw: real name is Charles. His mother nicknamed him Bo when he was little, but he doesn't know why.

- Zaza Pachulia: Zaza is a nickname. Real name Zaur.

- Smush Parker: Smush is a nickname, and it was also his dad's nickname. Don't know what it represents. Real name William.

- Tony Parker: Antonio is his middle name. First name is William.

- Sasha Pavlovic: As ever, Sasha is a nickname for Alexander (or, in this case, Aleksandar.)

- J.R. Pinnock: real name Danilo. The J.R. represents Junior, for he is a Junior, and he got bored of people who couldn't pronounce Danilo calling him "Danny". Tends to go by either or both names, depending on where you're looking.

- Carlos Powell: Name is really Ricardo Auturo Powell. Don't know where Carlos comes from.

- A.J. Price: A.J. stands for Anthony Jordan. His mum says that he wanted to name him after the two best basketball players ever, namely Michael Jordan and A.J.'s dad, Anthony Price. Hmmm. Think she might have missed out on a couple of candidates.

- Laron Profit: Laron is his middle name. First name Bronta. Not Loadsa, like it should be. Nor Maida. Or Turner. Or any other potential Profit pun.

- Shavlik Randolph: Shavlik is his middle name. First name Ronald.

- Theo Ratliff: Theo is short for Theophilius. Seemingly his parents chose to give him a name which allows for two possible shortening options. Pretty thoughtful.

- J.J. Redick: Full name is Jonathan Clay Redick. Was nicknamed "J" as a child, but he has twin sisters, and so when they both called him, it sounded like "J.J.", which then stuck. Luckily, they ended it there.

- J.R. Reynolds: Full name is James Richard Reynolds.

- Norm Richardson: Norm[an] is his middle name. First name Charles.

- Cheikh Samb: his often confusing name is, in full, Samb Cheikh Tidiane.

- Saer Sene: if you still call him this, it's time to change - his name is Mouhamed. Saer is his middle name, but he doesn't use it.

- Mustafa Shakur: Mustafa is in fact short for Mustafadden. He may just be the only person in the world with that name. Neither Google nor Facebook returns another.

- Tre Simmons: Real name Chester. Tre comes from the fact that he's Chester Simmons III.

- J.R. Smith: Real name Earl Smith III, suggesting once again that "J.R." is used to mean "Junior".

- Salim Stoudamire: Salim is his middle name. First name Charles.

- Amare Stoudemire: name is correctly spelt "Amar'e", but he didn't tell us this for six years. By this stage, I can't be arsed with it.

- D.J. Strawberry: stands for "Darryl Junior". Done so with (presumably) less affection than others who embrace their junior title, for they don't get on.

- Erick Strickland: short for "Demerick".

- Donell Taylor: him and his identical twin brother Ronell both go by their middle names, because they have the same first name - "Quence". Seems like an odd way of going about it.

- Hasheem Thabeet: his surname is Manka, but, after his father died, his took his middle name (and father's middle name) of "Thabit" and used that instead. But more phonetically typed.

- Etan Thomas: Etan is his middle name. First name Dedreck.

- P.J. Tucker: Full name Anthony Leon Tucker. P.J. stands for Pops Junior, becuase (you guessed it) he's a junior.

- Hedo Turkoglu: in the event that you didn't know, Hedo is short for Hidayet.

- Jake Voskuhl: Jacob is his middle name. First name Robert.

- Sasha Vujacic: see Pavlovic.

- Von Wafer: "Von" is an abridging of "Vakeaton," which is....a hell of a name.

- Judson Wallace: full name is Charles Judson Wallace. Seems to be called Judson by the NBA in every single instance, despite their own bio of him saying that he prefers C.J.. Often goes by Charles in European media, where they're very devoted to first names only. They even call Carlos Powell, Ricardo.

- C.J. Watson: full name is Charles Akeen Watson. And yes, he's a junior.

- Chris Webber: Christopher is one of his middle names. First name Mayce. He's a junior, but turned down MJ. Perhaps best.

- Sonny Weems: Real name Clarence Weems. He doesn't know why he's stuck with it, but it used to be his fathers nickname too.

- Bonzi Wells: Real name is Gawen DeAngelo Wells. His mum had cravings for Bonbons when pregnant with him, so his parents started calling him that, which eventually corrupted into Bonzi.

- D.J. White: Dewayne Junior.

That's all I got.


BIG NEWS: This website is, sort of, now on Twitter. All those basketball thoughts that I just couldn't be arsed to otherwise post can now be found here. Along with a lot of other pap.

Apologies To The Denver Nuggets

I hated the Marcus Camby trade. I hated it. I think everyone did, even Clippers fans. But I really hated it.

I think about trades a lot. I should really have better things to do, but I don't. So I spend a lot of time thinking about trades that have happened, moves that have been made, who would fit on which team, players that certain teams needed, who'll sign where and for what, etc. This is because I don't have many friends. But at not point did I think, "a current DPOY candidate and former winner, on an extremely fair value contract, is going to be moved for nowt more than a trade exception." You just don't consider these as possibilities, do you?

But it happened. And it annoyed the hell out of me.

It annoyed me for one simple reason - the move was financially motivated, and I hate all financial motivated moves. I wrote about as much here, and, in the interests of saving time, I'll quote myself:

When teams make bad personal [sic] moves to save money, purely as collateral damage from their own previous stupid move, then the fans become the victims to the folly that is the NBA and its old boys network.

I hate any move that involves a team giving away an asset just to save money, with them deeming the financial saving as "necessary" due to their own cap mismanagement. That's exactly what happened here - the Nuggets, perennial tax payers, were forced to start saving money by their ownership, and the best way for them to do this was to dump Camby's salary for no return. The moved saved them $20 million this season, plus about the same next season, yet it saw an NBA team literally gifting away one of the best players at a position persistently devoid of much quality. Anyone's outrage at that was justifiable.

However, there was an underlying justification to the move that I, like most people, didn't acknowledge.

Marcus Camby is a very good player. Always was, still is. But the Nuggets had someone who would have been one of the best backups centres in the game last season, were it not for an unfortunate bout of cancer - Nene. In Nene's only three seasons of full health (or, in the case of the 2006/07 season, near to full health), he has proven to be a starting calibre centre in this league, combining power and athleticism with good defensive skill, and some rudimentary offense. He had averaged double figures whenever healthy, an acceptable if mediocre rebounding rate, and some good defense. You don't get many backup centres like that.

The Nuggets gave Nene a very big contract back in the summer of 2006, despite Nene playing only three minutes the previous season. They were denounced for this move; we knew that a healthy Nene was a good player, but a healthy Nene hadn't produced enough to justify a contract that size. The Nuggets had therefore paid Nene based on their expectations of what he would go on to become, but they did so after a 3 minute season and a severe knee injury. It was an unnecessary risk, but they took it anyway. Yet, like the Camby trade, it's worked out.

Nene averages 15.0 points, 8.1 rebounds, 1.3 assists, 1.3 steals and 1.4 blocks on the season, averaging career highs in field goal percentage (61%) and free throw percentage (73%). Points per shot fans (such as me, and perhaps only me) will be delighted to know that Nene is averaging 1.64 points per shot this year, which is the high echelon territory of a prime Shaquille O'Neal, or Yotam Halperin. He leads his team in plus/minus by a long way, and this is a team that features both Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony. (In fact, you can add Billups and Anthony's plus/minus statistics together, and Nene's is still higher.) Nene's PER is a very healthy 21.6, good for second on the team, and his opponent PER is a decent 15.5. While Nene might not be exactly the most creative or skilled offensive player, relying largely on opprtunity and rhythm to score his points - he is also one hell of a powerful finisher, with some touch and grace to go with it. He can also get out and run better than almost all of his peers at the centre position, creating easy offense just through trying hard. And you can never have too much of that.

Put simply, on both ends of the court, the artist formerly known as Maybyner Hilario can play.

This wasn't sufficiently considered, though, by critics of the Marcus Camby trade. We knew Camby could play, but we forgot that Nene could, too. Kenyon Martin's long overdue return to full health has further helped to cope with Camby's absence, and Chris Andersen's hugely effective play off of the bench has Camby almost completely redundant. The financial aspects of the trade still effing stink, and the trade was still financially motivated (if it wasn't, the Nuggets could have found a better value trade for Camby that involved at least one decent player coming back, or even a first rounder, but this didn't happen because they wanted the absolute and complete salary dump), yet even the books are now balanced. The TPE created by the Camby trade facilitated the Allen Iverson trade with Detroit, allowing them to take back Antonio McDyess; his subsequent buyout, along with the Chucky Atkins/Johan Petro swap, sees the Nuggets finally under the luxury tax threshold. And because of those same moves, they're an even better team now than when they were above it.

(Note: OK, yes Mr Anal, they could have done the McDyess trade without the TPE. But they didn't. As a result, they were able to create a new TPE for $9.7 million - the difference between Iverson and Billups's salaries - which expires next November. Financial flexibility such as that is extremely powerful. And they wouldn't have had it otherwise.)

The last point before the small font bracketed bit is key. Denver were shamed and villified for the Camby deal, as it was seen as a triumph of ownership over fandom, of the big man over the little people, of corporations over hippies. But subsequent high quality moves, both in free agency and via trade, have seen the Nuggets build a more conventional team than they had before, and a higher calibre team than they had before, while also saving the money that they so needed to do. The Camby trade was a big part of this, as is Nene's continued breakout. I did not see this coming.

And for this, I am sorry.

Summer signings, round 4

- Andreas Glyniadakis, former Pistons draft pick and one-time Sonic, has extended his contract with Costa Coffee in Greece. I hope that the sponsoring of team names never catches hold in the NBA, even when it leads to beautiful times.

- Ersan Ilyasova, whose NBA rights are still owned by the Milwaukee Bucks, has seen his contract with Barcelona extended. It seems odd that, in this instance, the NBA franchise has been the feeder club for the European team. 10 years ago, that just doesn't happen.

- Gabe Muoneke, a man on the fringes of the NBA for about 6 years now before finally getting a sniff with the Charlotte Bobcats last October, has signed with Asvel in France. Last season, Muoneke played in Iran, and he's probably made the right decision to get out.

- English supestar Pops Mensah-Bonsu has signed with Joventut Badalona in Spain, and, if I've ever called them Joventut Barcelona in the past, then I apologise. Pops will play alongside Ricky Rubio, and if you've heard that name but don't know much about him.......he's brilliant. He really is.

- Qyntel Woods has signed with Fortitudo Bologna. I want to make a joke about dogs, but I like dogs, so I won't. By the way, I sponsored a dog recently, and let me tell you - it's a damn scam. I take my time choosing which dog I want to sponsor, pay for a full year, but then they send me a letter saying "we're sorry, but that dog is no longer available to sponsor". And then they kept the money anyway. Bastards. So learn from my mistakes - if you're feeling philanthropic, sponsor a panda or a child or a leper or something. There's no value in the dog thing.

- Rodney White - possibly the worst player in modern history to have a triple double in an NBA game, depending on your view of Chris Duhon - has signed for Maccabi Tel Aviv, which is in Tel Aviv, Israel.

- Troy Bell has signed for Soresina in Italy's lower divisions. The drafting of Bell was quite possibly the worst roster move that Jerry West has ever made in the NBA, depending on how shit hot your NBA history knowledge is. (Mine's awful.) Players drafted after Troy Bell in 2003 include David West, Leandro Barbosa, Josh Howard, Kendrick Perkins, Boris Diaw, Jason Kapono, Carlos Delfino, Maurice Williams, Luke Walton, Zaza Pachulia, James Jones, Kyle Korver, Steve Blake, Travis Outlaw........et cetera. Whoops.

- Former Denver Nuggets guard Vincent Yarborough has hit the big time, signing for Bonn in Germany. The mere mention of Vincent Yarborough has reminded me of how bad that 2002/03 Denver Nuggets team was, and so, for the hell of it, here is a run down of the whereabouts of everyone they gave an airing to that season.

1: Juwan Howard - unsigned, spent last season with the Dallas Mavericks.
2: James Posey - agreed today to sign with the New Orleans Hornets for 4 years.
3: Maybyner Hilario - the only one still with Denver, although he hasn't played much for a variety of reasons, including cancer.
4: Chris Whitney - long since out of the game. And the headlines.
5: Shammond Williams - now a Georgian citizen, somehow. Playing for Pamesa Valencia in Spain.
6: Rodney White - see above.
7: Donnell Harvey - recently joined the Charlotte Bobcats summer league team, but left early due to a family emergency. Unsigned. (By the way, speaking of the Bobcats summer league, Jackie Butler was supposed to be on it, but he never turned up. If we haven't done so already, can we officially scrub Jackie Butler from our minds? Thanks.)
8: Marcus Camby - yes, well, let's not talk about that.
9: Devin Brown - unsigned, last season played for the Cavaliers.
10: Jeff Trepagnier - unsigned, spent last season with Pau Orthez in France.
11: Kenny Satterfield - Scoop Jackson assures us he's fine.
12: Mark Blount - currently the Miami Heat's starting centre, which probably enthuses them no end.
13: Chris Andersen - unsigned, but that won't last. Played all of 34 minutes last year with the Hornets.
14: Lorinza Harrington - playing for the Philadelphia 76ers summer league team.
15: Nikoloz Tskitishvili - unsigned. Quick! Before someone snaps him up!
16: Ryan Bowen - unsigned, played last for the Hornets, Says he's "hopeful" of being re-signed, something which I agree with.
17: John Crotty - very very done, but I don't know what he does now.
18: Adam Harrington - unsigned, played last year in the D-League.
19: Predrag Savovic - has one year left of a five year contract that he signed with Bilboa in Spain back in 2004. Still sucks, but he has Luke Recker, Drago Pasalic, Mile Ilic, Quincy Lewis and Fran Vazquez for company.
20: Vincent Yarborough - see above.
21: Mark Bryant - didn't play again after leaving this very same Nuggets team. Now an Oklahoma City assistant coach.

Jesus. What a shite team that was.

Like a Camby in the wind

Fuck the NBA.

Seriously, fuck it. Fuck it hard. Right in the face.

The Denver Nuggets traded former DPOY Marcus Camby to the L.A. Clippers yesterday, for absolutely nothing. The Nuggets got no more than the right to swap second round picks with L.A. in 2010, a year in which the Clippers will have the lower pick anyway, meaning that Denver won't be exercising the option. That's it. That was their return. That was what they got.

That was what they got for Marcus, freaking, Camby.

I am really annoyed by this.

Marcus Camby is a former DPOY award winner. He may have another one left in him yet, too. Camby is a high calibre player - last year, he averaged 13.1 rebounds and 3.6 blocks a game. 3.6 rebounds per game is a lot of rebounds. And 3.6 is a hell of a lot of blocks. He can pass, and also shoot 20 footers, if you give him a week and 40 feet of elbow room.

Camby is a rare commodity in this league; he is a centre that isn't crap. He is at the peak of his career, and strangely also at his peak physical conditionm having set his new personal best for games played in a season, with a commendable 79 games last season. Without wanting to go overboard and do something silly, such as calling him a dynamic two way player, it's safe to say that Tampon is one of the best at his position, the position that is so hard to fill that General Managers will consistently try any old shit to try and strike gold. In a league where most executives would willingly sacrifice their closest family memebers to get an elite centre, the Clippers now have two. And they're not even overpaid.

They got one of them for freakin' nothing.

How does Marcus Camby fit alongside Wolfgang Kaman? I don't know, but it doesn't matter. He's going to better their team simply by not being Aaron Williams. The Clippers just bagged a huge infusion of quality to their team, and all they had to do was not overpay Luol Deng. If they can now trade for Vince Carter using little more than Cuttino Mobley and Tim Thomas to die, then suddenly they're dancing. A front seven of Carter, Camby, Kaman, Baron Davis, Al Thornton, Quinton Ross and Eric Gordon could break 50 wins, even without Elton Brand or a bench.

And yet, somehow, Denver couldn't even get a first round pick for him? Is that even possible? Is instant salary relief really THAT important? Why has this come up now? Why could they not use the Warriors' and Sixers' cap room, before they spent it, as leverage for a better deal? Not even Memphis's? They couldn't take back even a BIT of salary if it meant getting soem assets, like young players or draft picks? Not a bit? Really? You mean to tell me that a team heading in no particular direction and capped out like buggery can afford to give away its best players for absolutely no return whatsoever? How can any team out there justify spending $23 million on a fourth choice power forward while already nursing one of the league's highest payrolls, paying $60 unnecessary million to a guy who played 3 minutes the season before, as well as giving Chucky Atkins $13 million to do big fat Fanny Adams, can now somehow justify giving away its first round draft picks and frittering away quality players like confetti? This from a team that made the ultimate let's-give-this-shit-a-shot trade only 18 months ago?

Sod that.

Somewhere, somehow, someone is systematically wrong. Either Nuggets owner Stan Kroenke woke up with the arseache and ordered General Manager Mark Warkentein to do a dramatic about-face and cut payroll immediately at all costs, or Warkentein is a pillock. Or both.

Whichever it is, they have a problem. They're still cap strapped, they're still a lottery team, they still have no exciting internal future, they're still a badly assembled veteran team that isn't getting anywhere, and they're still being mismanaged. I'd feel bad for them, but they've annoyed me, so I owe them nothing.

The fans, however, have my sympathy. When teams make bad personal moves to save money, purely as collateral damage from their own previous stupid move, then the fans become the victims to the folly that is the NBA and its old boys network. Believe me, as a Bulls fan, I know that pain. I miss Tyson Chandler every day.

However, in a rare but special first here at eddiebasdenslegacy.com, I'm going to try and think positively. The sole solace for the Nuggets in this deal is the $10 million traded player exception that this deal created. Then again, it will probably go unused. However, if the Nuggets let Allen Iverson expire this summer, they will finally be out, barring widespread changes, from the tax territory in which they currently reside. If that happens, they will still have the TPE to use until July 15th, 2009. And at that point, they'll be able to add salary again. Whether they do this or not is another matter, but the ability to do so remains. And that's a small solace that Nuggets can take away and keep.

Who knows, they might even use it to bring Camby back.



By the way, while we're sort of on the subject of the Clippers and Elton Brand, let us tangent for a minute as you explain something to me. As I understand it, the time line of events in their negotiations go like this;

1 - Brand opts out.

2 - The Clippers and Brand verbally agree to a new deal rather quickly.

3 - The Warriors top this offer, just to see if they get lucky. The Sixers follow suit.

4 - Brand and his agent David Falk take news of this new offer to the Clippers, looking to use it as leverage with the Clippers to make them increase their offer slightly.

5 - The Clippers say no.


Now, why would the Clippers do this? By all accounts, they had a verbal agreement for a very reason 5 year, $65 million offer. Why would they be so inflexibile in renegotiating that slightly? $13 million is a good price for Elton Brand - if you're overpaying him at the end of the deal, you're underpaying him at the start, so it works out fine. Why wouldn't you add a few million if it kept him here? Why wouldn't you discuss a sixth year? Why would you extend qualifying offers to Marcus Williams and Nick Fazekas, keep the unguaranteed Josh Powell around unnecessarily, and even more unnecessarily sign first round draft pick Eric Gordon before compelting your cap space adventure, needlessly costing yourself almost $1.5 million in cap room, a figure which could add over $10 million to the value of a 5 year contract? A $10 million that would have meant the re-signing of your best player, and a hell of a good starting five to build upon?

The answer: I simply don't know. Maybe they didn't know the rules or something. Maybe they didn't know signing Gordon would cost them cap space. Maybe they think Fazekas actually matters in some why. I couldn't say. But I think the Clippers, in doing this, nearly managed to one-up The Juan Carlos Navarro Experience of this past season. And for that, I salute, pity, humilate and disown them. At least they got Camby as a backup plan.

I will never get over how such multi-million dollar business franchises can be mismanaged by the whims and misinformation of those in charge. All the damn time, too. Fucking dumbfounding.



(Readers note: Never listen to Elton John and blog. It leads to the creation of stupid post titles and slightly aggressive opening gambits.)

30 teams in 36 or so days: Denver

Players acquired via free agency or trade:

Chucky Atkins (3 years, $9.72 million)
Steven Hunter (acquired from Philadelphia)
Bobby Jones (acquired from Philadelphia)



Players acquired via draft:

None



Players retained:

Anthony Carter (waived, then re-signed, saving about $800,000)
Eduardo Najera (opted in)



Players departed:

Reggie Evans (traded to Philadelphia)
Steve Blake (signed with Portland)
DerMarr Johnson (signed in Italy)
Jamal Samspon (signed with Dallas)



Bobbins:

When you spend $162 million on only three players in one offseason, you're generally making a commitment to those as core players. Denver did this last offseason with Nene, Carmelo Anthony and Reggie Evans, investing in two power forwards despite also having the massive contract of Kenyon Martin firmly entrenched at the position, as well as Joe Smith and Eduardo Najera on hand to stand around looking sheepish.

When you then trade your only significant expiring contract and both first rounders this season (and Andre Miller) for soon-to-be-fading star Allen Iverson, you're making a subsequent commitment to for it all with what you have. You're foregoing the few assets you have, placing yourself deep into luxury tax territory to try and put your team over the top.

It's noble. And they could not realistically turn down the Iverson deal because of the small price tag. But, in the short term at least, it hasn't really worked.

Denver hasn't had their shooting guard position solved for a number of years. The days of the Kiki Vanderweghe era saw such greats as Predrag Savovic and Vincent Yarborough blemish the position, and while Vanderwghe did pursue a number of options to fill the position (ranging from Manu Ginobili to Clyde Drexler, of all people), the best he could manage was a brief flirtation with Voshon Lenard. New GM Mark Warkentein picked up The Prodigy Formerly Known As J.R. Smith from Chicago as a potential solution to the problem, but all that brought Denver was a tidal wave of emotions: from amusing highs (career high 37 points vs Chicago) to humiliating lows (being benched for stupidity during the playoffs, being called out by his coach, killing his friend in a car accident). And the two headed monster of Yakhouba Diawara and Von Wafer isn't getting it done.

You would think that trading for Allen Iverson, one of the finest scoring guards of all time and still at the peak at his game, woud solve the problem. Yet Denver is currently experiencing what Philadelphia had to figure out for all those years: it's all right having Allen Iverson, but who do you put alongside him?

Iverson and Steve Blake made for an effective offensive pairing for their brief time together last season, with Blake's pass-first nature complimenting the pass-last style of Iverson, and with Blake's jumpshot making a brief return after a half season away. But defensively, the duo combined to give Marcus Camby his inaugral Defensive Player Of The Year award, unable to keep anybody in front of them and without the height to in any way trouble shooters.

So what did the Nuggets do to rectify this?

They lost Blake to Portland, and replaced him with the aptly named 5'11 Chucky Atkins, a man with Iverson-like delusions but with Chucky Atkins-like ability.

Brilliant. There's the needed compliment right there.

In their only other offseason move of note, Denver made another trade with Philadelphia (note to all GM's out there - they're onto something here. It's good to trade with Billy King), swapping 85th string power forward Evans (by the way, why DID they pay their fourth stringer that much? Did we ever get an answer on that?) for Steven Hunter and Bobby Jones. Jones, should he make the roster, adds abslutely nothing of value, but does have an unguaranteed contract, which could turn out to be a nice saving for a team mired deep into luxury tax territory. And Hunter, if nothing else, is a man capable of playing the center position, even if he does play it very badly while rebounding without due care and attention. More importantly, they save on a year of salary, even if that saving is three years down the road. Every little helps, and all that.



Next season:

It would be nice if I was able to open this stanza with a comment along the lines of "A lot depends on whether star Kenyon Martin can bounce back from injury and finally fully realise his potential". But I can't. Because it's not happening. Not only is Kenyon Martin not a star, but he's also not getting back to where he was - microfracture surgery in each knee can do that to a man. A player who relied almost exclusively on explosiveness isn't much good when you take that explosiveness away. If Martin can return as a rebounding role player, he can help the team. But if he doesn't, he's just dead weight. Very expensive dead weight, at that.

Still, only 4 years and $60 million to go.

Being without Martin didn't hinder the Nuggets on-court progress, though, as Nene had something of a breakout season last year. Given a 6 year, $60 million contract despite only having played three whole minutes the previous season - bad business that they've gotten away with so far - Nene performed well, putting up 12 points and 7 rebounds in only 26 minutes a game, while providing good interior post defense. The pairing of he and DPOY winner Camby went some ways to counteracting the Nuggets pourous perimeter defense, while also making for a decent offensive pairing.

If nothing else, the Nuggets can boast a starting lineup of Camby/Nene/Anthony/Iverson/whoever, one of the league's most talented lineups out there. Who the "whoever" is going to be, though, remains a concern. If it's Atkins, they have problems - the man is a bench scorer, pure and simple. If it's J.R. Smith, they have problems - the man is an idiot, pure and simple. If it's Yakhouba Diawara, they have problems - the man is not very good, pure and simple. And if it's someone else, I'll be amazed.

More important than who the fifth starter is, though, is the age old question of whether Iverson and Anthony can co-exist (and by "age old", I mean "9 month old"). This question was never definitely answered last year, and it's the key to Denver's entire future.

If they can co-exist effectively, and if the team stays reasonably healthy (they'll never be truly healthy. I mean, they have Iverson, Camby and Martin, for God's sake) they could drag a Denver team into a position to surprise a few people, winning homecourt advantage and maybe making some inroads in the playoffs.

But if they don't bring the best out of each other, and if the Nuggets have their usual woe with injuries or worse, then this Nuggets franchise is again looking at a low playoff seed and a first round exit. And at that point, they're possibly a season away from losing Iverson and starting again.

With a youth movement currently consisting of J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza, they could do with avoiding that kind of mediocrity.

(Well, and Carmelo. He's useful, I guess.)