Turn That Frown Upside Down

It is my intent that you will come to view this site as a valuable resource. Between the character issues thing, the NBA salaries section, the tracking of endless former and/or fringe NBA players, the general abundance of boring trivia, the occasional bad jokes and the hugely lengthy player database that no one really looks at, I serve to bring you information that you either can't get elsewhere on the internet, or to bring it better than other people do. I do this for reasons of self-gratification and (hopefully) career advancement, and even if you think I'm annoying and a bit of a twat, I hope you can at least respect the information that I collate on this website. That is my aim.

For now, though, we'll take a slight detour.

Yesterday afternoon, I was a bit bored, and decided to find out what Mike Bibby looked like if you turned his eyes back to front and his mouth upside down. We've all wondered that, of course, and yet yesterday was the day that I could wait no longer. I had to know. The results were as follows.



I quickly realised that this was my new favourite hobby. So here are some more NBA players with their smiles turned upside down.



























Contribute your own. It's kind of fun.

Summer league round-up: Los Angeles Lakers

View the Lakers summer league roster.

I've not heard of several of these people. Should enjoy this.

- Alan Anderson: Anderson has been on the fringes of the NBA for quite a while. He spent parts of two seasons with the Bobcats, playing in 53 games, and spent last summer on the Grizzlies VSL team. After failing to make the team, he signed in Russia with Triumph (the team perhaps better known last summer for the big contract they gave Nenad Krstic.....briefly), but left during midseason and joined Cibona Zagreb. There, he averaged 16.2ppg, 6.8rpg and 2.8apg in the Croatian league, alongside 18.4ppg, 5.6rpg and 2.1apg in the Adriatic league. However, he left Cibona last month, because they weren't able to afford is contract demands for next season, and Anderson has already signed for next season with Israeli powerhouse Maccabi Tel-Aviv.

I'm not sure why he's even bothering with summer league, to be honest; his Maccabi contract does have an NBA-escape clause, meaning that he can get out of it if an NBA team comes a-calling later this summer, but that might not be preferable. His Maccabi contract also calls for him to be paid $800,000 next year - which, remember, is a net sum - and sees him in a guest guitarist role for one of the biggest bands in showbiz today. I'm not sure why he'd jeopardise that for the chance to sit on the bench behind Kobe Bryant, Sasha Vujacic and Shannon Brown. But, good luck to him I guess.

- Aron Baynes: Baynes is a centre with dual Australian and New Zealian citizenship [Zealandish? Zealish? Zealandolian? On a postcard, if you would] who recently graduated from Washingon State university. In his senior season, Baynes averaged 12.7 points, 7.5 rebounds and 1.3 blocks per game, on handsome percentage of 58% and 77%. He also has legit NBA size (being listed as 6'11 and 270lbs), plays physically, and is a post player through and through. However, he too has already signed elsewhere, catching on with the slightly bankrupt defending Eurocup champions, Lietuvos Rytas. The Lakers appear to have adopted a weird approach to summer league this year.

- Dominique Coleman: Coleman is a former Colorado Buffaloes guard who was last with the Colorado 14ers of the D-League. The Nuggets clearly weren't too interested, though. Coleman's D-League numbers from last year are pretty freaking impressive; in 50 games, the 6'3 guard averaged 15.4 points, 7.4 rebounds, 4.8 assists and 2.9 steals, shooting 50% from the field and 41% from three point range. This is particularly impressive when you consider that he'd played for three teams in Finland the previous season. Another year like the last one, Dominique, and you'll be famous.

- Chinemelu Elonu: When I watched Texas A&M last year, I saw Junior Elonu and thought "if anyone on this team is going to play in the NBA, it'll be him". He had decent defensive instincts, a mechanical and unattractive but fledgling offensive game, and the strength to make up for his comparative lack of size. Given an ever-present need to quench the NBA's thirst for defensive minded centres, I figured he might be on the radar down the road as someone who might be able to do a decent impression of the 2008 Adonal Foyle at some point. But that doesn't mean that I thought he had NBA talent.

- Tony Gaffney: Gaffney's numbers last year are pretty brilliant: 11.5ppg, 10.2rpg, 1.7apg, 2.0spg and 3.8bpg, on 54% shooting. However, they came at the basketball powerhouse that is Massachusetts, which helps provide some context as to how he did that. He also only measures at 6'8 and 205, which is NBA small forward size on an interior specialist. Considering his lack of offensive ability outside of opportunity scoring and hustle, he'll be best served with a tidy European career. By the way, everything I've just written also applies to Kenneth Faried.

- Terrel Harris: Harris averaged 13.9 points and 4.8 rebounds for Oklahoma State last year, taking lots of three pointers and looking for his shot at all times. But that also describes the entire Cowboys roster last year. (PS; Marshall Moses, use your right hand some time.) Harris was a solid offensive player, not really creating a whole lot but finishing the looks he got quite well. Unfortunately, that's not really good enough at the NBA level.

- Justin Hawkins: Hawkins played for the Kings summer league team last year, but I came away from that with absolutely no idea what he was good at. He played in all 5 games, started 2 and played 100 minutes, but averaged only 5.6 points and 2.2 rebounds a game, shooting 32% from the field. He didn't leave an impression, really. He went to France for last season, where again his numbers don't really suggest anything NBA worthy: 13.3 points and 4.6 rebounds a game, on 42% shooting and 61% FT. I also hate The Darkness because their music is annoying and there's nothing cool about glam rock. So if there's a reason to view Justin Hawkins as an NBA prospect, and I've missed it, then do please let me know.

- Ben McCauley: From what I saw of McCauley last season, he either couldn't or wouldn't rotate on defense, and was slower than a paraplegic donkey in a minefield. He also wasn't strong, physical, or blessed with overwhelming NBA size. But he could shoot, and I saw him once gave a hard foul in the final two seconds of a blowout loss that sparked an enjoyable multi-player punch-up. So my impressions of him are mixed, with some great high points.

- David Monds: In keeping with the Lakers policy of bringing in players for summer league who have already signed elsewhere for next season, we now have David Monds, who has already signed somewhere for next year. Or at least, I thought he had; I forgot to write down where, and now I can't find it. Lest we forget, this website is amateurish.

Monds is another former Oklahoma State player, who was kind of an afterthought role player in college, but who has done a bit better since. He last played in Puerto Rico, where he averaged 11.0 points and 7.6 rebounds for Humacao, and before that he spent the season with the Dakota Wizards and Albuquerque Thunderbirds in the D-League, averaging roughly 12/9 between the two. He'll be 26 by the start of the next season, and a solid but unspectacular 6'9, but as I write this he just scored 17 points in 14 minutes in his summer league debut. So you might like him anyway.

- Adam Morrison: Christ. It shouldn't have been THIS bad.

- Taylor Rochestie: Roschestie (with an I, not an L, to rhyme with the singular of "testes") was Baynes's team mate at Washington State for the last three years, after transferring from Tulane. He averaged 13.2 points, 3.6 rebounds and 4.5 assists last year, rocking a decent 2:1 assist to turnover ratio in the process. However, he also shot under 40%, and is only 6'1. If you can't shoot 40% in college at that height, you're not doing it in the NBA either. Rochestie is a fine shooter, but not an NBA calibre player.

- Luke Schenscher: Woop, it's the long overdue return of The Schensch. How could you ever leave me, you beautiful beautiful man. Luke was back in his native Australia last year, where he averaged 16.9 points per game, a league leading 10.8 rebounds per game, as well as 1.4 blocks, good for 3rd in the league. He shot 55% from the field and 75% from the foul line, which is great news if you've ever seen Luke Schenscher bank in free throws in your team's crucial first round playoff game. And I have. As for how the old school hook shot is looking these days, I couldn't say, but I imagine it to still be sheer unadulterated hardcore sex. Lakers fans, if he unfurls that bad boy in summer league play, get ready to nurse some semis.

- Mustafa Shakur: Shakur didn't have a great year last year, starting out with Tau Ceramica as the backup to Pablo Prigioni but not playing a lot, before moving to Panellinios in Greece, where he only played in the Eurocup games. In those Panellinios Eurocup games, he averaged 6.3 points and 1.2 assists on 54% shooting, which is about as much as any man can do in 11 minutes a game. But the European game isn't really suited to him, which might explain his continued desire to come home.

- Reggie Williams: Williams was with the Mavericks summer league roster last year, where he demonstrated good size and athleticism along with a penchant to get pretty damn wild at times. Williams is the best player in VMI history, leading the whole NCAA in scoring in both his junior and senior seasons. He did that without ever having a good jumpshot, which is more of a testament to the standard of competition that he faced than it is to his slashing game. Williams played in France last season, where he averaged 12.5 points, 5.3 rebounds and 2.6 assists per game. However, he also shot 21% from three point range on over 100 attempts. So he still hasn't corrected that flaw.

Where Are They Now, 2009: Brimful of Asha on the 45

I am capable of independent thought, but for now, here's the copying of more numbers.

- Jamal Sampson started the year in China (woop!), but unfortunately his averages were rather normal. Sampson averaged 10.7 points and 10.7 rebounds for the DongGuan New Century Leopards, before being replaced in early February by Cory Underwood, the team clearly realising that if Olumide Oyedije can average 20/20, then Sampson should at least average 35/26. But he didn't.

- Ricky Sanchez, whose rights are owned by Philadelphia, is embroiled in a bit of a soap opera. Sanchez played last season in his native Puerto Rico for Grises de Humacao, but hasn't played in the few months since that season ended. Currently, there's an argument going on within Puerto Rico as to who he can and can't play for. At some point in time, Sanchez was traded to the awesomely named Ponce Lions (hehe), but the Puerto Rican season is about to start, and Sanchez refuses to play for Ponce (hehe). The reason given by his agent is that Sanchez plans to attend "some" NBA camps this season (something clearly he considers to be possible), and he doesn't want to be tied into a contract with a BSN (Puerto Rican league) team should an NBA offer come his way. Someone should tell him that it won't, and ease the crisis. The dispute rages on, as FIBA have banned Sanchez from playing in the Venezuelan league. Apparently you need a formal letter of transfer to leave the Puerto Rican league, even if you're a free agent. Harsh. A hearing is scheduled for tomorrow.

- Melvin Sanders is playing for Gran Canaria in Spain. He averaged 14.3 points per game in 8 Eurocup games, and averages 10.2 points per game in 19 Spanish league games. He also has 24 total assists in those 27 games. Sanders recently picked up a Georgian passport, via means I have absolutely no explanation for. This means that the Georgians, should they so choose, could feature a backcourt of Melvin Sanders, Shammond Williams and Tyrone Ellis. Some classic Georgian names there. God bless Georgi Kinkladze.

- Patrick Sanders is in the D-League, averaging 14.7 points and 3.9 rebounds per game for the Iowa Energy.

- If you remember Adam Parada's entry on this list - in which I listed a long list of listed places where Parada had previously listlessly played, and in amongst this list of random places was the Sacramento Kings - then you'll notice how this following entry is going to be much the same. Eric Sandrin is (maybe) a current members of the Singapore Slingers, a Singapore-based team who were formerly competing in the Australian NBL. However, they dropped out, and decided to tour Asia instead. In additional to this, Sandrin was recently drafted by the Samsung Thunders in the [South] Korean basketball league's "Ethnic Players Draft", which is frankly hilarious on many levels. In 2007/08, Sandrin had played in Korea for Mobis Phoebus, which sounds like a believable baddie in a Power Rangers episode. Sandrin split the 2006/07 season between Poland and Portugal, and split the 2005/06 season between the CBA and the ABA. The 2004/05 season saw him play in the ABA, then in Brazil, then for the Harlem Globetrotters, and before that he had played in Brazil, Austria, Luxembourg, and the NCAA Division 2.

Somewhere in amongst all that, Sandrin did enough to win a 2005 training camp invite with the Kings.

- Viktor Sanikidze is another Georgian, but unlike Melvin Sanders, Sanikidze can claim to have actually been born there. Sanikidze is playing for TU/Rock in Estonia, and averaged 8.5/4 in two Eurocup games, 4.6/3.8 in 5 EuroChallenge games, and 8.1/6.8 in the Baltic league.

- Daniel Santiago is with Barcelona, and averages 5.2 points, 2.2 rebounds and 0.9 blocks in Spanish league play, alongside 6.4 points, 2.9 rebounds and 0.8 blocks per game in the Euroleague. David Thorpe is a fan.

- Romain Sato is into his third season with Montepaschi Siena, the team that is absolutely running away with the Italian league. Sato averages 10.1 points and 3.4 rebounds per game in the Euroleague, along with 12.1 points and 4.5 rebounds in the Italian league. Sadly, his website, www.starinanylanguage.com, no longer seems to exist. But you can find some archived versions of it here. It's basically just him talking.

- Alex Scales started the season with BC Kyiv, averaging 12.1 points and 3.1 rebounds in the Ukranian league, before leaving the team after they dumped all their foreign players due to bankruptcy. Scales has since joined GMAC Bologna, but for reasons I'm not sure of, he has to wait until March 8th until he can debut. Fun Alex Scales fact: Alex Scales has appeared in one NBA regular season game, when he totalled 9 seconds of court time for the San Antonio Spurs at the end of a first half of a game in November 2005, defending an inbounds play. For this, I will always be a fan.

- The Don, Luke Schenscher, averaged 16.9 points and 10.8 rebounds this past season for the Adelaide 36ers, and won player of the month for January/February. He has grown his hair out long, thus enhancing his likeness to Janae Timmins from Neighbours, but he's also grown a beard that prevents the similarity from being faultness. That would be bad. I don't want to be sexually attracted to Luke Schenscher.

- Finally, you will probably already know of the common factor in Sofoklis Schortsanitis's career; he gets dangerously fat and gets suspended, undermining his fine scoring talents. I haven't seem him play this year - although I do have an Olympiakos game in amongst 25 or so NCAA games that are queued up on my Sky Plus - but he still plays very few minutes, so I'm guessing he's still fat. Sofo averages 7.9 minutes, 4.8 points and 1.8 rebounds per game in the Euroleague, as well as 9.6 minutes, 5.2 points and 1.7 rebounds per game in the Greek league. He has 43 total rebounds and 47 total fouls. So you can see how the evidence is stacking up against him. However, despite this cycle seeming like it's gone forever, Sofoklis is still only 23, giving Clippers fans something to cling onto. Good luck with that.

Some Euro signings you may give a shit about

Some players and free agents who signed in Europe (or other countries in general) that you may or may not care about. I have tried to keep the relevance to those who either get spoken about as good signing candidates, those who were in the NBA last year, or those of significance who made summer league rosters this year. I can't name everybody. Well, I could, but I don't care enough.


- Martynas Andriuskevicius is about to sign for Joventut in Spain.
- Luke Schenscher signed for Bamburg in Germany.
- P.J. Ramos signed for Fuenlabrada in Spain.
- Michael Bradley signed for ALBA Berlin in Germany.
- Will Blalock signed for Hapoel Jerusalem in Israel.
- Marcus Fizer signed for Maccabi Tel Aviv, also in Israel.
- Nikoloz Tskitishvil signed with Teramo in Italy.
- Ersan Ilyasova signed with Barcelona. In Spain. Obviously.
- Julius Hodge signed with Varese in Italy.
- James Singleton signed with Tau Vitoria in Spain.
- Lawrence Roberts signed with Olympiakos in Greece.
- Jared Reiner signed with Murcia in Spain.
- Zeljko Rebraca signed with Pamesa Valencia in Spain.
- Bracey Wright signed with Aris Thessaloniki in Greece.


More when I can be arsed.