Where Have You Been, 2009; Part 33

- Darrick Martin was waived by the Raptors midway through last season, and chose that moment to retire. Martin then stuck with the team anyway, in a sort of informal consultancy capacity. Maybe he consults with Will Solomon on how to take more shats. Martin recently has a court dedicated to him, news which would have been funnier if they'd named it the Derrick Murray Court instead. (Inside jokes all!)

- Torrell Martin started the season with Kepez BLD Antalya in Turkey, averaging 13.0 points and 6.7 rebounds per game, before upping sticks and moving about 20 feet to Greece. In 3 games for Kavala/Panorama, replacing Billy Thomas, Martin averages 11.0 points and 4.7 rebounds.

- Jamal Mashburn now does studio work for NBA Fastbreak, and is quite good at it too.

- Chet Mason started the season in the powerhouse known as the ABA, playing for the Cleveland Rockers. Thankfully, he then stepped it up a notch, and was acquired by The Arsenal. Mason averages 11.3 points, 6.1 rebounds, 2.5 assists and 1.3 steals per game.

- Tony Massenburg is the stuff of dreams. After shocking the world by signing with the Wizards for 2007 training camp, despite having been out of the game for two years and 40 years old by that time, Massenburg didn't stopped there. Perhaps unsurprisingly waived by the Wizards, Massenburg kept up the Tony Massenburg basketball legacy, by signing in Puerto Rico. In three games with Capitanes de Arecibo, Massenburg averaged 14.7ppg, 9.7rpg and 1.7apg. Unfortunately, Massenburg is currently unsigned, and the dream of a 13th NBA team might be over again. But give it 18 months and he should get another shot.

- Bryant Matthews is out of prison and in Romania, which is probably much the same. (Joke!) For CSU Atlassib Sibiu, Matthews averages 21.5 points, 7.8 rebounds, 2.7 assists and 2.7 steals.

- For all your Loukas Mavrokefalidis news and views, click this. And then get HYPE.

- James Mays started the season with the Colorado 14ers, averaging 18.7 points and 8.7 rebounds in 12 games after being drafted second overall in the D-League draft. Unfortunately, he popped his knee out on the 30th December, and is out for the season.

- Walt-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh McCarty is an assistant to Rick Pitino at Louisville.

- Amal McCaskill is a busy boy, always doing the rounds in the leagues that you barely consider. McCaskill-free split last season between the CBA and the United Arab Emirates (which, I assume, pays rather nicely for former NBA talent), before resuming his world tour this season. Amal opened the season with Magnolia Beverage Masters in the Philippines (as always, remember that if the team has an awesome name, it's probably in the Philippines), before moving on to Qingdao Double Star in China. In keeping with the tradition of former NBA players in China, McCaskill beasted, to the tune of 20.2ppg, 12.1rpg, 2.9apg and 1.9bpg averages. McCaskill now resides in Bosnia, playing for Bosnian league leaders BC Igokea, but I have no idea what he averages. Here's a great picture of him, though.



- Finally, Jelani McCoy is another ex-NBA near-7 footer doing the Chinese thing. For the Zhejiang Guangsha Lions, serving as the replacement for Nigel Dixon, McCoy averages 27.9 points, 11.6 rebounds, 1.9 assists, 3.4 fouls, 1.7 steals and 1.3 blocks per game, shooting 74% from the floor. If you think that's good, then check out Zhejiang's other American import (you're only allowed 2), Rodney White, who averages 35.6 points, 8.2 rebounds and 5.5 assists. The Chinese league is fantastic. I wish I could watch this stuff.

This one's for you, Spurs fans

For some reason, whenever we get a Eurocup game screened over here (something that happens way more than the screening of NBA games), it almost always involves Dynamo Moscow. It's a bit annoying, having to see the same old players out there time after time when there's so many others that I'd rather watch. But it isn't necessarily a bad thing, either, because Dynamo Moscow (as is the case with all Eurocup teams) has plenty of good quality talent on it, and I get to see them all over again.

The most notable players on the Dynamo Moscow team are former Hawk swingman Travis Hansen, Spurs draft pick Robertas Javtokas, former Nets and Rockets forward Bostjan Nachbar, former Blazer and King forward Sergei Monia, big Lithuanian Darjus Lavrinovic, and Russian national team point guard Sergei Bykov. (Brian Chase, who recently signed with Dynamo, hasn't played yet.) Travis Hansen has taken an acceptable NBA career and turned it into a beast of a European career, playing as a first option player on some of Europe's better teams, showing a fine mid-range game, the ability to run the offense, and his ever-present athleticism. Nachbar is playing well against the far less athletic European opposition, and Monia still rocks the "I'll do anything but shoot" approach that so befits a baby faced tweener Russian. Lavrinovic is a good all around player, with legit NBA size, an inside/outside game, good rebounding instincts, no ability to jump off the floor and a rape conviction (something for everyone there), and Bykov is a good little guard whose sensible and smooth play is making the loss of Jannero Pargo entirely survivable. However, the one I'm going to focus on is Javtokas.



The English commentators that we have for these Eurocup games are really bad. Really bad. Darrin Horn's Hitler parting-calibre bad. I couldn't even begin to explain it. So I won't bother; here's a random clip from yesterday's game between Dynamo Moscow and Marousi of Greece.

Calm down, Roy. Jesus.

Often, these commentators talk of Robertas Javtokas's 40 inch vertical. You may have heard about it yourself; it his combination of great size and athleticism that made him interesting in the first place. However, it now seems misguided. Despite having a very nice dunk in this game off of a pick and roll situation, Javtokas's vertical appears to be little more than half of what it used to be. Whether this is due to just age (Javtokas turns 29 next month) or the fallout from nis hear fatal motorbike accident for a few years ago, I couldn't say. But this man doesn't play like a leaper. He's not Keon Clark, Tyrus Thomas or Chris Andersen. Instead, he's more of a Kendrick Perkins.

But regardless of whatever stereotype you wish to force him into, Javtokas can play. Playing exclusively in the paint on both ends, Javtokas is tall and strong, and still with a decent (if oversold) vertical leap. This combination often gives him the size and athleticism in European player, and would make him the equal of many NBA players. To go with that, Javtokas boasts good shot blocking instincts and timing, a good rebounding rate, and some acceptable offense. Javtokas does not create much offense for himself, has no offense away from the hoop, and is not a post-up player (although when he drops a baseline spin on you, it's usually sex), but he is a decent finisher. And that's all that he really needs to be. His prognosis as a backup NBA center is quite good; while he has his flaws (lateral quickness, needs a bib on offense, nothing away from the paint, etc), Javtokas can also impact the game in a positive way. This is something often underappreciated in a league that has players like Oleksiy Pecherov and Aaron Gray getting backup centre minutes.

It's tough to say whether Javtokas's window of opportunity with the Spurs has finally passed him by. For years now, the Spurs and Javtokas have had occasional flirtations that always seemed to end in Javtokas pricing himself out of the market. The Spurs would only stretch to a budget that pays him like the backup centre that he would be (such as what they gave Jackie Butler, Fabricio Oberto or Francisco Elson - about $2 to $3 million a year), whereas Javtokas wanted more of a 3 year, $15 million deal. Every time, negotiations broke down, Javtokas went back to Europe, and continued to produce at a high level, while the Spurs went in another direction. But every time, they kept his rights.

Maybe that will pay off. Dynamo Moscow recently lost one of their big signings (Pargo) and another important guard (Hollis Price) after missing out on some of their payments. Times are tight the world over right now, and particularly so in the world of European basketball, which isn't exactly a professional field renouned for its prompt, accurate salary patments. Last night's Dynamo game was also only played in front of a half filled stadium, despite its importance - with huge salaries committed to Nachbar, Hansen and others, and without huge amounts of money coming in, Dynamo might not be able to afford Javtokas next year.

Is there one more short left for him? He could certainly play in the NBA, and another Spurs draft pick - Luis Scola, who is one month younger than Javtokas - joined the league only last year, proving that it's never really too late. The Spurs traded Scola's rights, and perhaps could do the same to Javtokas, for whom there will surely be a market. However, the Spurs ought to consider bringing him over themselves - with Oberto only partially guaranteed and not very good, Kurt Thomas's continued decline, Ian Mahinmi's lack of progress, and Matt Bonner's inevitable fall from brilliance, San Antonio could use an extra centre.

With Javtokas, they may have one in-house.

(As for the Marousi end of things, Sonics and Pistons fans may have been interested in the play of Andreas Glyniadakis. Well, from what I saw, he still continually runs around calling for the ball, and often gets it considering his improvement as an offensive player. Glyniadakis has a reasonably deft touch from 6 feet and in, and rarely drifts outside of the paint, And he developed a nice stroke from the free throw line, going 8-10, even though his technique seems to involve looking at the floor and standing up so quickly that he risks getting the bends. However, he is also one of the softest players you've ever seen, particularly at 7'1 and about 270 pounds. Glyniadakis is so against contact - and I'm not exaggerating here - that he won't even take any contact when sitting screens, seemingly content with standing in the right place and rolling without causing any obstruction whatsoever, which is kind of what screens are for. On defense he is similarly soft, allowing Lavrinovic and Javtokas to repeatedly go up unchallenged, and not using his bulk to ever hit anyone. Lavrinovic had four and-ones in the game, and this is not a coincidence - Glyniadakis challenged few shots, and when he did he merely put his little paws on them. Additionally, Minnesota Timberwolves fans who want to know how Loukas Mavrokefalidis is doing are going to be similarly disappointed - Mavman was extremely bad in this game. In fact, the only two things he did well were freeze Javtokas on a backpick for a layup in the first quarter, and then hit a three with Marousi down 19 late. That's it. The rest of the time, he missed his shots (including a lefty hook shot that hit the side of the backboard), played weak defense, showed absolutely no agility, and was a non-factor on the boards. Mavrokefalidis is Marousi's leading scorer in both Eurocup and Greek league play, averaging 12.4 and 11.7 ppg respectively, but he was bloody awful in this one. And when the only thing that will ever get him into the NBA is his scoring, it's not good when it disappears so dramatically against quality opposition. Marousi's bright spots included veteran American journeymen Billy Keys - who demonstrated good passing skills, as well as the ability to get his own from both long and mid range - and Jarod Stevenson, who proved he could shoot. That was about it. Pat Calathes worked hard, but achieved little. And he's balding fast.)

(Close bracket.)

Summer signings, round 7

- In round 3, I set your collective minds at ease about the whereabouts of shaven headed corner lingerer, Jumaine Jones. I told you that he had signed in Italy. But apparently that's not the end of the matter. In a rather unique tale, Jumaine's two agents appear to have simultaneously agreed to two seperate contracts with two different teams in two different countries. Jones has seemingly agreed to sign with both Milano in Italy and with a team called Ural Great Perm in Russia. (Great name. A great name. Great perm, too.) I don't think there's any precedent for knowing quite what happens in situations such as this, so it's FIBA's problem now. Good stuff, though.

- On the off-chance that you can remember who Rashad Wright is - a Pacers secound rounder from 2004 who never made the NBA - then you'll be horny when you hear that he has signed with ALBA Berlin in Germany, after last played for Efes Pfilsen in Turkey. For those unaware....that's a backwards step. (No offense to ALBA Berlin fans. But it is. You know?)

- In news that I know will excite at least one reader of this website, former humoursly bad NBA player Reece Gaines has signed for Angelico Biella in Italy. I don't know who she is, but she sounds hot. I made that joke once before, and I shall continue to use it every time the name Angelico Biella crops up, because I'm unoriginal like that. (If you've never received a "hey, do you know what's happened to Reece Gaines?" email in your life, then you're missing out. Ask nicely and I'll write you one. Maybe.)

- Loukas Mavrokefalidis remains in Greece, going from Olympiakos to Maroussi Costa Coffee, where he'll join none other than Andreas Glyniadakis. Try spelling that frontcourt while shitfaced on Mescaline. Can't be done.

- Jorge Garbajosa did indeed sign with Khimky, as thread in a previous blog post. I guess the leg's better now, eh?

- Just In Cage has signed with Belgacom Liege in Belgium (or, specifically, in Liege in Belgium). This news may interest you if you are a Bulls fan - Cage played mediocrely for the Bulls summer league team last season, but was invited to training camp anyway, where he didn't last for very long. However, at some point between the two events, David Thorpe (who was working with Cage in some capacity) wrote a glowing commendation of Cage's hero-like basketball abilities. Certain Bulls fans bought into that, and began planning the franchise's entire direction around the formidable Justin "Magical" Cage. So news of hsi signing in the Belgian league will piss on those people's chips.

- Another Bulls summer league and former Spur, Keith Langford, is on the cusp of signing for Bologna in Italy. That's all I have to say about that. And now onto news about actual NBA players.

- The Spurs re-signed Kurt Thomas, and also signed Creighton's finest Anthony Tolliver. It has to be said that, while everyone's talking about the potential juicy goodness of the 2010 free agency class, no one has talked about the Spurs's potential impact on it. They do, after all, have only two players under contract that summer, and even though Manu Ginobili will be a free agent that summer, the Spurs have enough room to give him an extension and still be able to throw an arseload of cheese at a big name player. They'll have only the merest bare bones of a squad, but an aging foursome of Ginobili, Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and, say, Dirk Nowitzki....well, you'd have to respect that, even if the other 9 players are on minimum salary contracts. Which they'd probably have to be. (Note: given the way things work in the NBA, this scenario will prove to impossible within next to no time. Either Dirk will sign an extension, the salary cap won't increase as expected, or the Spurs will spend money on multiple lesser players. Or the franchise will fold. Or all four of those things. This is why I don't make predictions any more - they suck and are hard. Giggidy.)

- Sebastian Telfair re-signed with the Minnesota Timberwolves, after a 'breakout' season in which he shot 40%.

- The Detroit Pistons are to sign Will Bynum, which could be amusing if Lindsey Hunter sticks around for another season. Imagine looking down that bench for a point guard who can hit a jumpshot. Good luck.

- Ricky Davis is the latest reasonably big name NBA player to be offered a disproportionally huge amount of money from Greek club Olympiakos as a replacement for Loukas Mavrokefalidis...........

- .....And Josh Childress did go to Olympiakos after all. Good on you, sir.

Where Are They Now? Part 24

Darrick Martin was waived by Toronto last month, and subsequently got a new gig with them as a "basketball development consultant". Whatever that is.

Torrell Martin is playing for Slask in Poland, a team that you've heard of by now if you've read all of these entries. Also playing for Slask are Five Trillion Deng Gai's, Dawan Robinson and The Ho-Man. Martin averages exactly 11 points and almost exactly 6 rebounds a game.

Jamal Mashburn, as well you know, is firmly done. He now works for ESPN, doing some studio work and articles and stuff. Basically he's got my job. Bastard.

Chester CHET! Mason is playing for Zlatorog Lasko in Slovenia, and if you hadn't heard of them before then you're a disgrace. Mason averages 9.7 points, 4.9 rebounds and 4.1 assists, with an efficiency rating of 11. I would give efficiency ratings for all players listed here, but I have windows that need looking out of.

Tony Massenburg stunned the world this October when he signed with the Washignton Wizards for training camp. You'd have thought that Massenburg had had the perfect retirement, since leaving the Spurs with a championship ring two seasons earlier. But, no, apparently Tony couldn't keep away. The Wizards didn't keep him, but Massenburg still carried on, signing in Puerto Rico for a team named Captains of Arecibo as a replacement for Marcus Fizer. Massenburg is no longer there, but that's not the point. The point is, why is Tony Massenburg still trying to get back into the NBA? Is he flat broke? Is he too proud to quit? Is he inspired by Kevin Willis? Is he trying to get single ownership of the "most teams played for" crown, a record he currently co-owns with Chucky Brown (12)? If it's the latter, then he may as well not bother, because Bobby Jones will own that record by this time next year. But still, good luck to him.

Bryant Matthews, a sex pest, is out of prison. He went to play for a team called "Ponce" in Puerto Rico, where he didn't make a field goal in two games. If you want to know why Bryant Matthews is a dirty sex pest worthy of bilious hate, here's a brief synopsis of the story: in a hotel in Australia, Matthews's friend was having sex with his girlfriend, when Matthews walked in, sat on the bed, and stuck his hand in her snatch. His defense was that he "thought it was cool with her". I have so many questions as to why he would think or do this. Nevertheless, it evidently wasn't 'cool' with her. She complained, Bryant got terminated from his contract, and eventually criminal charges led to a maximum 18 month jail term, where he served 9.

Loukas Mavrokefalidis is playing for Olympiakos in Greece, alongside everyone mentioned in the Aryvdas Macijauskas entry. Mavro averages an astonishing 3 points and 1.5 rebounds, ish.

Walter McCarty has retired and is an assistant coach for the University of Louisville.

Amal McCaskill-less was an All-Star in the CBA this year, before he left the Albany Patroons and signed in the powerhouse United Arab Emirates league, for a team called An Nasr. The teams in the UAE league are named Al Shabab, Al Wasl, An Nasr, Al Ahli, Sharjah, Al Wahda and Ash Shaab, all of which sound like believable NYC taxi drivers names. Except for Sharjah. That's a race horse.

The Real Jelani McCoy has been signed and waived a lot by Denver this year, but is now out of the NBA and back in the D-League playing for the L.A. D-Fenders. McCoy averages 11.2 points, 7.8 rebounds and 2.1 blocks per game for them, along with 69% shooting from the field and 51% shooting from the free throw line. No, those are not the wrong way around.

Chris McCray is playing for Oostende in Belgium, alongside the timelessly named Titus Ivory. McCray averages a rather ropey 7.2 points per game.