Kirk Snyder ordered back to jail after cutting off his electronic ankle bracelet

Yesterday, I tweeted that Kirk Snyder - who had been rumoured as a possible returnee to the Chinese Basketball Association this season - had been denied entry to the league, as officials saw him as undesirable what with his whole burglary/vicious assault/incarceration/suicide watch/forcefeeding medication story thing. It surprised me that there was even a possibility of Snyder's return. The last I heard, he had been released from the mental ward and found competent to stand trial, but no news that he had been released from jail.

However, today, we found out that he HAD been released from jail, but only while wearing an electronic tagging device. And we know this because he was just sent back to jail for cutting it off.

The question of you would do that is an obvious and entirely valid one, yet considering that we're talking about a man who had to be force fed, savagely beat a man to a pulp in full view of his wife, and who was recently deemed by the courts to be mentally incompetent, then nothing can be a surprise any more. The hope that Kirk Snyder had merely had a mini-drug-induced-freakout - which would be incredibly little solace, but which was a better thing to hope for that this - is now completely dead. Kirk Snyder would appear to be oh so very irrational right now, and it's not fun to think about.

So, because it's more fun to do, let's instead remember Kirk Snyder the basketball player. Here he is with a much underrated dunk over Von Wafer (here pictured as a Laker; no one seems to remember that he used to be a Laker, but it happened.)

They were good times. Simpler times. Happy times. But they ain't coming back.

Kirk Snyder is mentally incompetent

San Francisco Chronicle: The Kirk Snyder story gets just a little bit weirder, as Snyder is found to be unfit for trial, and apparently refuses to eat.

A judge has found former NBA player and Nevada Wolf Pack star Kirk Snyder not competent to stand trial and ordered that he be force-fed.

Warren County Common Pleas Judge Neal Bronson made the ruling Thursday. He says Snyder has rejected all medications and food and has been hospitalized twice.

Per Local12.com, Snyder has now been sectioned for a year.

Dude. Strange times.

When the story of Snyder's violent outburst initially broke, I had assumed - naturally, if a bit libellously - that Snyder was just a bit powdered up one night, having a crappy evening, and decided to enact revenge on the man whose dog pissed on his lawn the previous morning. Something along those lines, at least. Despite the savage and random nature of the beating, I would have rather believed that it was one bad night of coke-fuelled angst that did not necessarily indicate a pattern of violence and instability, and that maybe Kirk's real issue was just a minor substance problem that could be (relatively) easily sorted.

Unfortunately not. It would appear that Kirk Snyder really has gone a bit crazy. And that's not cool.

A search for any kind of history for Snyder turns up nothing. Snyder may have had a spat with his coach at Nevada, and he suffered from failing grades for a time, but there was nothing there to suggest that he was a future candidate for suicide watch. Nor did anything happen (publicly, at least) in his NBA career that made us wonder if Snyder would one day go on to refuse food and be confined to a psychiatric hospital for a year. And while playing in China last year, scoring big and rebuilding his resume, at no point did we think "this has all the makings of a man who's going to break into his neighbour's house and savagely beat him in full view of his wife". Just didn't pick it.



Also, while we're updating the Kirk Snyder story, here's a video of Corie Blount being sent to prison. Cheech joke and all. You have to put up with a lengthy and somewhat pointless speech from a judge who is clearly revelling in having multiple cameras filming him doing a day's work, but it's worth watching if only for the stunning bowtie on offer from Blount's defense attorney. There's a leniency plea if ever I've seen one. Had it been a spinner, Blount might have been acquitted.

Kirk Snyder's hearing delayed, Darius Miles arrested

Middletown Journal: Kirk Snyder takes further steps to really help his own cause and become a better, well-adjusted person.

A competency hearing for former NBA player Kirk Snyder has been delayed because [he] has been uncooperative with medical experts, court officials said.

Snyder, 25, is accused of breaking in a home and assaulting a man on March 30 near his residence in the Beacon Hill Townhouses in Deerfield Twp.

A Warren County grand jury indicted him on aggravated burglary and felonious assault charges, both felonies, He was also charged with a misdemeanor assault charge for allegedly attacking another inmate at the Warren County Jail after his arrest.

Snyder’s attorney, Hal Arenstein, could not be reached for comment, but he has filed documents in court saying his client is not guilty by reason of insanity and he is not competent to stand trial.

Memphis Commercial Appeal: Darius Miles arrested for possession, reputedly a dickhead.

Grizzlies forward Darius Miles was arrested Wednesday and released on bond after being charged with possession of marijuana following a routine traffic stop.

Miles also received a ticket for driving with a suspended license according to the Associated Press, which first reported the story.

.................

Although the Griz haven't publicly stated their intentions, their plan was always to start next season without Miles.

The Griz grew weary of Miles' waning work ethic and his relationship with rookie guard O.J. Mayo.

There was widespread concern in the organization about Miles' off-the-court influence on Mayo near the end of the season.

If there was ever any doubt - and there wasn't - Memphis really did only sign Darius Miles to screw Portland. His reasonably effective play notwithstanding, it was never going to be a long term solution, and there was nothing to gain in the short term either. But, if stiffing Portland was indeed their aim, it worked. Industrious? Yes. Successful? Yes. Embarassing? Definitely yes. Let's pretend it didn't happen.


But, enough of that.

To the bigger issues here: in addition to a fine and most underwhelming Twitter page, this webshite now also has a Facebook fan page. Why? Why not, I say.

If anyone wishes to help out by creating a logo that isn't a copyrighted picture of Ha Seung-Jin's face, then do please contact me.

Kirk Snyder pleads not guilty due to insanity

Middletown Journal.

An ex-NBA player plead not guilty by reason of insanity to burglary and assault charges Wednesday, April 15, stemming from an incident in a Deerfield Twp. home last month.

Kirk Snyder, 25, of Deerfield Twp. plead not guilty to charges of aggravated burglary and felonious assault in Warren County Common Pleas Court. Bond was set at $500,000. If he is able to come up with the money, he will be fitted with a GPS monitoring system and is not allowed contact with the neighbors he is accused of attacking. He also is required to surrender his passport as a condition of bond.

As of Thursday morning Snyder was still in the Warren County Jail. He faces a possible 10 years in prison if found guilty.

All right, let's take bets. Who wants to bet me that Snyder was a little powdered up that night? Anyone?

Congratulations to Zach Randolph

Congratulations to you, Zach Randolph. With this latest arrest, you have moved out of a tie with Cliff Robinson and Rod Strickland for second place, and into a tie with Latrell Sprewell for first place on the "most entries on this website's off-court issues list" list, with 7 seperate documented incidents.

Rafer Alston is jealous.

Clippers forward Zach Randolph was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol on Monday morning by the California Highway Patrol.

Several hours later, the Clippers suspended Randolph, 27, for two games for what they called "conduct detrimental to the team." There are five games left in the Clippers' season.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-randolph-dui7-2009apr07,0,3222795.story

Also, multiple people insinuated that the Kirk Snyder story that featured earlier on this blog might have been an invention of mine. With that in mind, I'd like to remind you that, outside of the occasional attempted Monty Python-style gag on the player profiles (which are hopefully obvious in their inanity), this site is for the representation of true facts only. And lots of them, hopefully. This is not The Onion or the Serious Sports Network. Maybe it should be. But it isn't.

A-thank yaw.

More on Kirk Snyder

Kirk Snyder, former NBA guard, was arrested yesterday and charged with aggravated burglary and felonious assault.

Overnight, he then attacked another man while in jail, and has been sent for a psychiatric evaluation, and also placed on suicide watch.

A psychiatric evaluation and suicide watch have been ordered for a former NBA basketball player arrested after he allegedly attacked a neighbor in Warren County.

Kirk Snyder, 25, was arrested early Monday morning for aggravated burglary and felonious assault, and reportedly attacked another inmate in the Warren County Jail Monday night. His attorney entered a plea of not guilty to the charges.

A woman called police to her home in the 5300 block of Commonwealth Drive around 3:40 a.m. Monday, according to the Warren County Sheriff's Office. She told police she heard glass breaking downstairs and when she went to investigate a "tall assailant" pushed past her and ran upstairs.

She said the man then began beating her sleeping husband. The attacker fled when she pulled back the hood he was wearing.

Investigators brought in a K-9 unit which led deputies to Snyder's residence, which is located on the same street.

Snyder's bond has been set at $500,000. Prosecutors called said the violent outbursts are cause for concern, though no reason has been given for either attack.

This has officially gotten weird.

Kirk Snyder Arrested For Beating Someone Up In Their Sleep

WCPO.com: Former Jazz, Rockets, Hornets and Timberwolves swingman Kirk Snyder arrested for aggravated burglary and felonious assault.

Warren County Deputies say the player who helped put the University of Nevada-Reno in the Sweet 16 in March 2004 has been arrested for aggravated burglary and felonious assault in Deerfield Township.

Deputies arrested Kirk Snyder early Monday morning at his residence in the 5300 block of Commonwealth Drive in the Beacon Hill townhouses.

Officers say just before 4 a.m., a resident on Commonwealth Drive heard glass breaking downstairs in her house. She tells police when she got up to investigate, a tall man pushed her aside and ran to the upstairs bedroom where he began to assault her sleeping husband. She says while he was beating her husband, she was able to pull the hood away from covering his head and the assailant then fled out the back door where he had broken in.

Deputies say their investigation and a canine led deputies to Snyder’s nearby residence where he was taken into custody within minutes of the offense.

Snyder averaged 34 points and 10 rebounds in China last season, well on the way to rebuilding his NBA resumé. He was staring down a spot on a training camp roster somewhere next year, and should never have fallen out of the NBA in the first place. But apparently all this was secondary to the opportunity of beating a man in front of his wife while he slept.

(Allegedly.)

Great plan, fella.




Additionally, any allegations that I may have recently beaten the living crap out of a hooker in a hotel room are false, and tant amount to scandalous lies.

Where Are They Now, 2009: Part 47

We're starting to rush through these a bit quicker now, because I'm kind of desperate to get to the letter U for reasons that will soon become anti-climactically apparent. And also because you love it.

- Chester "Tre" Simmons is signed with Maccabi Tel-Aviv, but is not in the rotation, averaging only 9.7 minutes and 4 points per game in the Israeli league with several DNP's thrown in. Simmons was also this week involved in a fight in (and outside) a nightclub that saw teammate D'Or Fischer have his face slashed by unknown assailants, resulting in micro-surgery needed to correct nerve damage. Allegedly, this group of unknowns had gone to the club to seek vengeance on Fischer's father, who was visiting Fischer at the time and with whom they had had a "run-in" earlier on. However, Fischer's father, who was at the club, had already left, and that's when it all kicked off. Simmons was unhurt, and it was him who took Fischer to the hospital, but by being out at the club in the first place the two were violating a team rule, and so will probably be punished. In Simmons's case, give how little they seem to need him (or like him), he might get released.

- Courtney Sims is back in the D-League after his second ten day contract with the Suns expired anonymously last month. He has totalled 53 points in the two games since his return to the Iowa Energy, and averages 23.0 points, 10.6 rebounds and 2.1 blocks per game. The blocks per game numbers are coming way down, however, as Sims found it a tad tricky to keep up the average of 8 blocks per game that he held during the first two contests. (He had a 22 point, 17 rebound, 11 block triple double on his debut for the Energy. That's Olumide Oyedeji-esque.)

- Ha Seung-Jin's mate Nedzad Sinanovic is on loan from Real Madrid to Burgos in the LEB Gold (Spanish second division), where he frankly kind of sucks a bit. Sinanovic averages 9.1 points, 6.8 rebounds and 3.1 fouls in 17.3 minutes per game, still seemingly extremely raw despite being about to turn 26. Nevertheless, regardless of his non-existent NBA prospect, his aborted attempt at a duel with Ha during the Blazers's 2005 offseason will forever cement his legacy as one of the game's true greats, even if his play is completely insignificant. Here is a picture of Ned, as well as a crudely translated and highly uninsightful interview with him.

- Ramunas Siskauskas, who declared for the NBA draft one year too early, is the best player on a CSKA Moscow team that is arguably the best in Europe. Siskauskas averages 12.1 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.1 assists in the Russian Superleague (where CSKA are undefeated), and 10.6 points, 3.5 rebounds and 2.1 assists per game in the Euroleague.

- Marcus Slaughter started the season with Bremerhaven in Germany, but left after 8 games. He did, though, manage to average 18.8 points, 10.0 rebounds, 2.6 steals and 1.3 blocks per game in that time. Slaughter then moved to France, where, playing for Le Havre (I've been there!), he averages 14.2 points, 8.7 rebounds and 1.5 steals in the French league, alongside 12.2 points, 8.7 rebounds, 1.8 blocks and 1.5 steals in the six games he played for Le Havre's Eurocup campaign.

- Tamar Slay is playing for Air Avellino, a struggling Italian team. Slay averages 14.7 points and 4.0 rebounds in the Italian league (admittedly in only 3 games), along with 9.2 points and 4.4 rebounds in the Euroleague. Slay returned from a six week layoff on Sunday and scored a game high 17 points for Avellino in their SerieA match against La Fortezza Bologna. They lost anyway.

- My Facebook friend Uros Slokar is signed with Fortitudo Bologna (not the same team as La Fortezza Bologna). Slokar averages 4.7 points and 5.0 rebounds in the Italian league, but he hasn't played since late December. A quick scan of his Facebook wall shows a post that says "hi uros how is your hand?", leading me to believe that Uros Slokar has broken his hand. And this is why adding fringe NBA players to your Facebook friends list is worth it.

- Kirk Snyder is in China, so we'll cut the sizzle and give you the steak; Zhejiang, 32.8, 10.1, 4.4.

- Jefferson Sobral averages 14.1 points and 5.5 rebounds for Joinvile of Brazil. But before the next entry, a short quiz.

Q: Who the hell is Jefferson Sobral?
A: He's a man who earned a training camp spot with the Lakers in 2002, and again with the Nuggets in 2006.

Q: How the hell did he do that?
A: Don't know.

- D-League starlet Pape Sow is with Armani Jeans Milano, where he recently underwent surgery for a broken nose. (Or at least, this is my interpretation of the Italian sentence "Pape Sow e' stato operato nella mattinata al setto nasale". For the record, I can't speak a word of Italian.) Sow averages 8.8 points and 6.3 rebounds per game in the Italian league, alongside 7.9 points and 5.0 rebounds per game in the Euroleague.

- Finally, Vassilis Spanoulis is with Panathinaikos, where he has been since the whole NBA thing went wrong for him. Spanner averages 9.3 points and 3.7 assists per game in the Euroleague, alongside 9.0 points and 2.5 assists per game in the Greek league. I'm now off to watch one of his games. See ya.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of Quinton Ross?

There follows a list of the remaining unsigned NBA free agents, and what they're currently rumoured to be doing about their jobless selves. Most of these players suck, because we're over a month into free agency now. Yet this list may still serve as a useful resource if you're sifting through the remaining chunks of free agency vomit, looking for gold dust and/or your brand new watch, relentlessly apologising for ruining the whole party and vowing never to mix Bourbon and Gaymers again. Maybe.

NOTE - decent free agents from other leagues not listed partly because this is an NBA website, and partly because I can't be bothered.


Point guards:

- Kevin Ollie: Recently annointed a role model for reasons other than just the moustache, that video is possibly the only thing on the internet that suggests that some teams want to sign Ollie. By the way, did you know that that's how he spoke? I didn't. I thought it'd be deeper than that. Ho hum.

- Shaun Livingston: Still not cleared to play basketball. In spite of this, the Clippers have talked to him about re-signing anyway, and Miami and Phoenix both also showed an interest. And why wouldn't they? Take a look down this list at how bad the rest of this free agency point guards list is. If you needed a point guard, wouldn't you rather have the guy whose knee doesn't work, than, say, Smush Parker?

- Sam Cassell: Said he intends to play one more year before becoming an assistant coach. "Expects" to stay with the Celtics, who don't seem to be reciprocating quite as much. Cassell either was or wasn't a judge at a pole dancing competition, depending on whether you believe the Boston Globe or Sam himself.

- Jannero Pargo: Apparently on the cusp of signing with the San Antonio Spurs, which seems like an odd decision. Firstly, they don't have much money to give him, which is the reason why Jannero has opted out of contracts two years in a row. Secondly, the reason that they don't have any money is because they spent it on Roger Mason Jr, and why the HELL would you want to pair Jannero Pargo and Roger Mason Jr? Not sure I get that. Even if you start Mason - an idea fraught with danger - and persevere with bringing Manu Ginobili off of the bench, you still get a load of duplication from those two. So what's the point?

- Darrell Armstrong: His agent says that Armstrong has turned down "multiple" coaching opportunities in favour of one more go-around as a player. (If that makes sense.) Orlando were mildly interested. The Nets....less so.

- Dan Dickau: Is considering signing with one of several European teams. He has to - the money's good, and the NBA offers are sparse. More importantly, Dan Dickau is also to host a celebrity poker tournament, sweetened by the deal-breaking offer of a gift bag. So get famous and sign up.

- Damon Stoudamire: The only team with the slightest reported interest is Phoenix. It doesn't seem surprising that no one's looking at Damon, given how badly he did with the Spurs last year, and also because of the giant salad fork sticking out of his back.

- Jason Williams: My great idea for him to re-sign with Sacramento doesn't seem to be working out, given that they brought back a different old boy instead in Bobby Jackson. Williams has had offers from at least one European team, but he doesn't sound too keen on the idea. Shaq wants him in Phoenix, which doesn't really mean anything.

- Andre Owens: No idea. Nothing.

- Chris Quinn (restricted): Hot shit, apparently. The Timberwolves, Clippers, Hawks, Warriors and Wizards have apparently all expressed an interest, and the Heat still have a qualifying offer out there. Life is good for Chris Quinn, even if he is technically unemployed.

- Lindsey Hunter: Hasn't yet decided it he wants to play one more season. If he does, it'll be with Detroit.

- Blake Ahearn: Says that Minnesota "really likes" him after his performances for their summer league team, but hasn't signed anything yet.




Shooting guards:

- Ben Gordon (restricted): Wants a payday like the one Luol Deng just got, in spite of the fact that he has absolutely no free agency suitors other than the Bulls, and also that he isn't as good as Deng. The Bulls want him back - or at least say that they do - and talks are ongoing. But, in the words of fabled philosopher Tim Baland, it's gone get ugly, if it hasn't done so already. (Note: original lyrics may differ.)

- J.R. Smith (restricted): Denver have said that they will match any offer, but Cleveland are apparently about to test that resolve with a full mid level exception offer. Jesus, people. It's J.R. Smith.

- Michael Finley: His agent Henry Thomas says that Finley has turned down some fairly lucrative European offers in favour of a final turn in the NBA. His agent also claims that several "championship calibre teams" want Finley, which means there's no chance of a return to Dallas. (Ho ho ho, see what I did there?)

- Delonte West (restricted): Cleveland are half-arsedly negotiating with him, while also trying far harder to sign J.R. Smith, and simultaneously bringing in Tarence Kinsey as an insurance policy. That can't make West feel good. Boston were supposedly interested in taking him back, and a well paid European offer is on the table, as it is for basically everybody. In fact, it might make more sense for me to merely say who ISN'T being offered big money from Europe.

- Devin Brown: He's not going back to Cleveland. Dallas, New Orleans, Denver and Atlanta are his suitors.

- Gordan Giricek: Wants to return to Phoenix, the team with whom he enjoyed a decent cameo to end last season, but the Suns won't offer more than the minimum, which Giricek won't take. There's a lucractive European offer on the table - OBVIOUSLY - and also some NBA offers from teams that no one wants to name. They must be embarassed at themselves or osmething.

- Ronald Murray: Cleveland "enquired", and that's all we've got. Is it me, or are the Indiana press totally disinterested in reporting the potential destinations of their free agent guards? We know they're not going back to Indiana, but play the game, at least.

- Kirk Snyder: Minnesota didn't offer him a QO, then acquired Rodney Carney to take his place, and no other teams seem to have showed interest? Why is that? He's not THAT bad.

- Quinton Ross: Renounced by the Clippers, ignored by everyone else. WHY, God? WHY? Kareem Rush gets signed early, yet Quinton Ross can't even find a suitor. Rigoddamndiculous.

- Fred Jones: In keeping with our recent little string of "not all that bad shooting guards getting unfairly overlooked", Fred Jones is unsigned and unloved. Come on now. These players aren't great, or even starters. But they're decent players, being dealt the disservice of being stuck at the NBA deepest position. I demand that they be signed.

- Juan Dixon: Gilbert Arenas wants him back in Washington. That's about it.

- Salim Stoudamire: I want to sign him. I'm the only one, though.

- Derek Anderson: Nothing.

- Von Wafer: Played summer league with the Knicks, but won't make their roster.

- Shannon Brown: Couldn't (or wouldn't) even get a summer league spot. He's gone.

- Casey Jacobsen: Memphis waived Tarence Kinsey for this guy, don't you know? Jacobsen isn't going back to Memphis, and has no NBA interest to fall back on.

- Yakhouba Diawara: For seemingly no reason, Denver is considering re-signing Diawara, despite just replacing him with the superior Dahntay Jones. Well, good for them.

- Eric Piatkowski: In recent weeks, Piatkowski has lit the torch at the 24th Cornhusker State Games (whatever they are), and gotten caught up in some dodgy business. However, there's no news of another NBA contract, despite how much Pike wants it. Nonetheless, in that first link, we are treated to the finest Eric Piatkowski quote of all time:

I refuse to not be successful in everything I do.

Apart from double negative usage classes, you never will not be.

- Mario West: Stayed with Atlanta for summer league, but, without a qualifying offer, it doesn't look too likely that he's going back. No one else has said much.

- Ronald Dupree: Went to Oklahoma City's summer league team wearing Seattle Supersonics coloured shoes, albeit probably not on purpose. Unlikely to return, but the man remains confident.

- DerMarr Johnson: Being arrested for DUI didn't do much to strengthen his position as a fringe NBA player.



Small forwards:

- Andre Iguodala (restricted): Negotiations with the Sixers are still in "limbo", but...come on. He's going back there. Where the hell else is he going? The man will fight for the biggest payday, but we all know that he'll get one eventually. Let's not pretend otherwise. Feel free to berate me mercliessly for writing all this bobbins once Iguodala takes the one year qualifying offer and signs with Portland next summer.

- Bonzi Wells: Surprisingly overlooked. New Orleans would rather bring back Ryan Bowen than Bonzi, which is the worst insult that you can give a man. The 6 year contract from Sacramento that Bonzi turned down two years ago is getting ever more hurtful.

- Devean George: Has "several" suitors, but the Clippers are no longer among them, and Dallas apparently aren't either.

- Dorell Wright (restricted): The Heat are "open" to a sign and trade, but to who? No one seems to have expressed an interest.

- Jeremy Richardson (restricted): You can pretty much pencil him in for the Hawks training camp.

- Louis Amundson: A month ago, it seemed a matter of time before Amundson signed a contract with the Golden State Warriors. But then it didn't happen. And now I don't know what's happening.

- Demetris Nichols (restricted): With no suitors and a qualifying offer out there, he'll almost certainly be going to the Bulls training camp, to battle for a spot with players cheaper than he.

- Awvee "Booooo!" Storey: Had his team option declined by Milwaukee, but played on their summer league team anyway. Didn't play very well. No one else wants him.

- Michael Gelabale: No one seems interested, which is probably due to his bad knee injury more than anything.

- Ryan Bowen: See above. A league in which Ryan Bowem has more suitors than Quinton Ross is a very fucked-up league indeed.

- Ira Newble: Nothing to report.

- Marcus Williams: Renounced by the Clippers, not courted by others.

- Linton Johnson: It would make sense to return to Phoenix for the minimum, but that's just me theorising, and not a breaking news report.

- Kasib Powell (restricted): Played well for the Heat in summer league, and looks destined to at least go to their training camp, if not make the regular season roster.



Power forwards:

- Josh Smith (restricted): Still unsigned, as well you know. But it's hard to imagine Atlanta buggering this one up.

- Carl Landry (restricted): The Rockets are idiots if they don't re-sign him. Given that they're clearing out some salary by dumping Steve Novak, it looks as though they intend to.

- Austin Croshere: Theories abound of a Golden State return, but nothing is certain.

- Paul Davis: The Clippers renounced him, but were talking about re-signing him anyway, until news of the impending Steve Novak trade. So that probably rules Davis out.

- James Augustine: Waived by Orlando. If anyone can explain to me how a man that wasn't under contract was able to be waived, let me know.

- Othella Harrington: The knees don't work any more, so don't expect a return.

- Juwan Howard: Things are looking bleak.

- Andre Brown: Nada.

- Shavlik Randolph: Randolph didn't look too bad in his rookie season but has barely taken the court since. No suitors, as you'd expect.

- Sean Marks: Can you believe that Sean Marks has been in the league for 8 years now? 8 years??? How many games has he played in that time? Can't be more than about 14, surely. Things don't look good for a ninth year, but Phoenix seem to love veteran offensive players on minimum salary contracts, so a third year there is still plausible.

- Pat Garrity: His agent said that he (Pat, not the agent) will probably retire if he doesn't re-sign with Orlando. So he's basically destined to retire.

- Robert Horry: The Spurs don't seem to want to play any more, which leaves Horry dangerously short of options, unless the Celtics need someone to mentor Brian Scalabrine.

- Nick Fazekas: The Clippers eventually retracted his qualifying offer - with his consent - which makes Fazekas a free man. Or, if you look at it another way, a homeless man.



Centres:

- Jake Voskuhl: Doesn't even register. NBA people barely acknjowledge his existence. There is always a rush in September to sign tall "defensive" veteran centres, so Voskuhl may get work then, but any dreams of a contract similar to last year's $3 million one from the Milwaukee Bucks have gone by now. They should never have existed in the first place, really.

- Jamaal Magloire: See Voskuhl, but change it to $4 million. Maybe people are starting to recognise that he hasn't been good for about 4 years.

- P.J. Brown: I have no evidence to back this up, but given that he just won the title, wouldn't this be a good moment to call it quits?

- Dikembe Mutombo: His agent says that he won't play for the minimum, which doesn't bode well for his chances of a return to the cost cutting Rockets. That's OK - they'll still have the best defensive team in the NBA even without him.

- Francisco Elson: Was rumoured to be talking to Denver about a possible return, but the Nuggets signed Chris Andersen instead because he was cheaper. Negotiating with the Clippers.

- Robert Swift (restricted): Oklahoma City seem keen to keep him, as evidenced by the qualifying offer that they gave him, despite how little he has played in two years. Other teams seem more perturbed by Swift's incessant knee problems, perhaps rightly so. Personally, I hope it all works out great for him.

- Michael Doleac: His agent offered Doleac's services to Orlando, but do they really need another sub-par backup big man? Does anyone, in fact?

- Chris Richard (restricted): Kevin McHale makes it sound as though Richard's definitely returning. The cheap price and the lack of suitors seem to confirm this.

- Theo Ratliff: I swear I read somewhere during midseason that he intended to retire after this season, but I can't find it now, so forget that I said anything.

- David Harrison: The Pacers have ruled out re-signing him, leaving Harrison with roughly zero options.

- Earl Barron: The Heat are out of room, and Barron's not 18 years old any more. No suitors.

- Alonzo Mourning: Said "one more season" for about the fifth time, but hasn't signed yet.

- Scot Pollard: Unsigned, and not courted, which probably has something to do with the reconstructive surgery on both ankles. And also the fact that it's Scot Pollard.

- Dwayne Jones: Not expected back with Cleveland, which leaves him shit out of luck. Shame.

- Michael Ruffin: No news is normally good news, unless you're Michael Ruffin and yot're awaiting news from your agent of possible contract offers from NBA teams.

- Didier Ilunga-Mbenga: Might be invited to the Lakers training camp, or he might not. It's going to be inconsequential either way.

- Lorenzen Wright: Considering how bad he was during his two years in Atlanta - when he had 186 points, 253 rebounds and 230 fouls - I'm going to go out on a limb and say that no one will sign him. I've got a crow ready and waiting, but I think he's safe.



It's hard to think that all of that crap was in the NBA last year. Bad times.