Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 58

Be warned. This is the penultimate entry. (Giggidy.) If you feel like killing yourself after this, I can't really stop you, and I'm not sure I'd even advise against it.

- Donell Williams is a training camp signing of the Clippers in 2007 who hasn't done anything of note before or since. A 28 year old 6'3 guard, Williams spent his first two collegiate years at West Los Angeles Community College, before transferring to Fayetteville State for his final two years, averaging 15.7 points and 6.0 rebounds in his senior year, 2004-05. D-Will then went back to school for the 2005-06 season to complete his degree, even though he wasn't eligible to play for the basketball team. The following season, his basketball career finally started, with Williams now aged 26. Williams played in the 2006 JBL Pro-Am League, an incredibly unheard-of American minor league that takes place between April and May, in which he averaged 27 ppg, 16 rpg and 5 apg. He then did nothing for the next 16 months, between May 2006 and October 2007. And then he was somehow signed by the Clippers. After unsurprisingly not making the team, Williams went to the D-League, totalled 38 points and 21 rebounds in 18 games with the Bakersfield Jam, and was waived in January 2008. He hasn't played anywhere since.

Of all the random training camp signings we've had over the years - Brad Stricker, Ondrej Starosta, Rashid Byrd, Ajani Williams, etc - I think this one is the most random.

- Corliss Williamson retired in the 2007 offseason and became an assistant coach at Arkansas Baptist College. Whether he's still there or not, I can't tell. Here's a story he's in from a reunion of the 1994 Arkansas Razorbacks.

- Kevin Willis is now 46, and presumably not going to make another comeback. Then again, we fell for that once before. According to this story from October, Willis was running a custom jeans company called Willis & Walker. However, the company's website no longer exists, which doesn't bode well.

- Roderick Wilmont started the year with Solsonica Rieti in Italy, totalling 13 points and 10 fouls in three games, before moving to join Aliaga Petkim in Turkey. Wilmont has averaged 11.0 points and 2.4 rebounds in 20 games in the Turkish league.

- Kennedy Winston did the opposite, starting in Turkey and then leaving. K-Win averaged only 6.2 points and 3.3 rebounds in 16 games for Turk Telekom, before landing a plush gig at Real Madrid as the replacement for Quinton Hosley. Winston has totalled 6 and 3 in his two games there.

- DaShaun Wood averages 5.6 points, 2.1 rebounds and 3.5 assists for Benetton Treviso in the Eurocup. He has barely played for the team in the Italian league, presumably due to some rules limiting the amount of foreigner or something, but he has totalled 23 points, 20 assists and 18 rebounds in the 5 games he has played there.

- Loren Woods - the original L Train, so screw you Austin Carr - was waived by the Rockets this offseason due to a combination of their eternal tightness, the need for roster spots, and his overwhelming mediocrity. He then signed in Lithuania for Zalgiris Kaunsas, and averaged 12.3 points, 9.0 rebounds and 2.4 blocks in the Euroleague, 8.4/5.8/1.4 in the Lithuanian league, and 7.8/8.5/1.5 in the Baltic league. He left the club in December after the near-bankrupt team released all its foreign players in a bid to stay solvent. Woods then signed in Zaragoza (a Spanish city with a tiny airport, albeit with a funky roof), and has averaged 13.0 points and 10.0 rebounds in his two games for the team. To think that I passed within a few miles of Loren Woods recently and didn't know about it. Oh the shame.

- Qyntel Woods started the season with Fortitudo Bologna, and averaged 12.9 points, 3.9 rebounds and 3.0 steals per game in the Italian league, alongside 14.3 ppg and 4.3 rpg in the Eurocup. He then left in January and signed with Prokom Sopot, for whom he has averaged 11.3 points and 3.7 rebounds in the Polish league, alongside 12.2 points and 3.0 rebounds in the Euroleague.

- Bracey Wright started the year with DKV Joventut Badalona, where he averaged 14.0 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.6 assists in the Spanish league, alongside 12.1 points and 2.8 rebounds in the Euroleague, before being released by the team at the start of the year after he missed a few games due to "family issues". A bit of a soap opera then unfolded; it was widely reported that Wright had signed with KK Zadar in Croatia, but he hadn't, and he eventually re-signed with the team he played for last year, Aris Thessaloniki. However, that was 6 weeks ago, and Wright still hasn't played for them yet due to conditioning problems. This article says that the team might replace him.

- Finally, former Pacers draft pick Rashad Wright is in Germany, playing for ALBA Berlin, a team absolutely stacked with Americans who managed to make it impressively far in this year's Euroleague before becoming completely overmatched. Wright averaged 8.8 points, 2.6 rebounds and 2.4 assists in Euroleague play, along with 8.3 points, 3.3 rebounds and 2.3 assists in the German league, while being part of a fearsome backcourt rotation that also features Casey Jacobsen, Immy McElroy and Julius Jenkins. Yeahhh, you're quaking.

Summer signings, round 12

- After much protestation on my part, the Clippers finally waived Josh Powell, hours before his contract became guaranteed. They then use the resultant cap space to sign veteran forward Brian Skinner. Thus, waiving Powell WAS worth it after all. My same plaudits and criticisms of every other Clippers free agency move so far also apply here - good player, very good value, but again with the age? (Oh well. Signing good players for good value can never be a bad thing.)

This move also impacts me on a personal level, as I had advocated Brian Skinner as a good signing for my incorrigible Chicago Bulls, because the idea of Aaron Gray and Drew Gooden as backup centres doesn't stir my loins. I tend to get right bummy and anal when what I deem to be a great addition falls by the wayside (See also: Devin Brown, Jason Kapono, Luther Head), and so you might be hearing a lot more talk about Brian Skinner around these parts. Additionally, if Ben Gordon leaves as a free agent, my Salim Stoudamire campaign is going global.

- Speaking of the Bulls, they actually did stuff. After overpaying to re-sign Luol Deng, the Bulls also then waived guard JamesOn Curry, leading to a round of "JamesOff The Team" jokes from people who should probably know better. Including me. Curry's salary was only $100,000, thus waiving him saved the Bulls $169,403 (Curry's $711,517 salary, minus the $100,000 amount of his guarantee, and the $442,114 cost of his rookie replacement, something which I have just assumed will happen.) This is the kind of purse-string dalliance that the Bulls will be regularly flirting with now, determined as they are to not pay the luxury tax. Cedric Simmons, don't even bother unpacking.

- Orlando waived James Augustine, a move only baffling if you poke around and discover that, according to everybody, he wasn't even under contract in the first place. Strange times.

- Rumours abound that Premiata Montegranaro - the Italian first division team who I mentioned earlier after they signed Darius Rice - are to try and sign the formerly famous and currently infamous Shawn Kemp. Apparently, if that doesn't work out, Bread Mountain have a different nearly-40-substance-abusing-power-forward-who-has-been-out-of-the-game-for-ages-and-whose-weight-could-be-anywhere already lined up, in the form of Vin Baker. I don't know whether such reports were fashioned before the team had had any kind of first hand look of the two players, but I'd pretty confidently guess not. It might chance their stance.

- In other scrub news, Ken Johnson signed with the Koeln 99ers in Germany, and Kennedy Winston signed with Turk Telekom. You can probably figure out which country that team resides in. HarpringIsMyHomeslice.com: the only NBA website to actually still care about Ken Johnson. (You hear that, Ken? We care. Call me.)

- And now news of a trade that hasn't happened yet. The Sacramento Kings will trade Ron Artest to the Houston Rockets for an assortment of goodies, including Bobby Jackson, Donte Green, and a first round draft pick. (Patrick Ewing Jr and Sean Singletary will apparently be included for salary matching, and will then be waived.)

That trade owns for Houston. Simply owns. It's a risk, for it is a risk whenever someone acqures Ron Artest before he's even gotten there, Artest has already made a twat out of himself to the Houston fans. But it's a risk worth taking. Artest is on an expiring contract, and if things don't work out, it need only be a one year investment. With Tracy McGrady starting to show signs of age, Houston's championship window is pretty small, but this move demonstrates that they clearly understand that and will give it a shot while they can.

The defense that the new Rockets lineup can put together is friggin' awesome. Awesome, I say. The Rockets now have two of the most versatile and skilled defenders in the league at the forward spots in Artest and Shane Battier, and McGrady is not bad either. Rafer Alston tries hard, even if he doesn't really know what he's doing, and Yao Ming intimidates you just by being there. Off the bench, the Rockets boast more good defensive forwards in Mike Harris, Carl Landry and Joey Dorsey (maybe), while Luther Head doesn't do all that badly defending players that are often bigger than him. The Rockets also boast an underrated defensive head coach in Rick Adelman.

Offensively, the Rockets still have questions. The guards either can't shoot, or don't know when they're supposed to (that's you again, Rafer. Not you, Brent Barry and Luther Head), and while the Rockets continue to look for shooters, the only player consistently able to create shots for others is McGrady. However, Artest will help the Rockets on the offensive end too, even though he has absolutely no concept of offensive continuity.

It's not too bad for the Kings, either. Not going anywhere fast, they've managed to get a promising young player, a draft pick, and an expiring contract that doesn't interfere with their salary situation. Greene may be the worst chucker in the history of professional basketball, but he has offensive skills, and maybe one day he'll either learn to shoot like Kobe Bryant (which would somewhat justify his shot selection), or realise that he can't and stop trying to. They can also pretend that Bobby Jackson wil play like he did during his first stint in Sacramento. And they might even get Ewing and Singletary back.

I think we've found a trade that makes sense, you know.

Summer signings, round 3

- Brian "Chevy" Chase has signed for Le Mans in the French league, and anyone who reads all this overseas basketball shit that I write would no doubt get the impression that signing in the French league has bad news for your career written all over it. Whether I'm right or not is another matter, but would it be a bad thing for the NBA if it saw the back of a 5'9 guard who can't pass? Doubt it. (Speaking of, Earl Boykins is still unsigned.)

- Ivan Radenovic's contract with Akasvayu Girona of Spain has been extended. On a different note, Akasvayu looks a little bit like Matisyahu. And Matisyahu is a rabbi rapper. Go and search for him on Youtube, then go and buy his album, and then come back here. Do this, and do this now. (Note: I'm going to start using this blog as a guerilla marketing tool, for the relentless promotion of people and things that I like. While we're at it, buy this. You're likely not going to be English, so some of the references in the album's lyrics will be wasted on you, but bear in mind that this is how we Brits feel about Family Guy, and that shit's great. So that's no excuse for you not buying it.)

- Jared Newson, who played in summer league and training camp with the Mavericks last season, has signed with Brose Baskets, marking his second season in the German league. Last season over there, he won the dunk contest. And he also did this.



So he's good at dunking. That much we know. Send in any further Jared Newson trivia to the usual address.

- Joseph Blair signed with Spartak St Petersburg, which is in Russia and not Florida. Neither of Joseph's websites carried this news. But one of them did carry this amusing blog post type thing, from Jaybl-Air himself:

I think that in life a certain amount of respect has to be given to everything you do. Especially when it comes to something that gives you your livelihood! I have always been able to take pride in the fact that I have always given my best and my all to this sport that I love so much. Not always have things turned out the way that I wanted and I wish that I would have made more free throws and there are a ton of easy shots that I have missed and wished that I could go back and try again but I have always tried my best. Nobody is perfect and I realize that but 100 percent must be given constantly!!

That being said I want to talk about tonights game! I have played basketball since I was 5 years old. Organized basketball, not just playing in the yard!! I have played professional for 11 years now!! And never in my career have I ever tried to blame a referee for a loss!!

But tonight was the most disgraceful and disrespectful attempt at what they want to call refereeing a game that I have ever seen or been a part of. It was truly scandalous!!

Tonight I witnessed a huge disrespect to this game that I love!! It is a sad time!! I am truly heartbroken that anyone could do this to this game that I love so much!! And now we even see this type of problem in the NBA!!

When will it stop? Where will it stop? When did it start? God bless basketball

God bless basketball indeed, and God also bless Joseph Blair. Watch out, Gilbert Arenas.


- If you are wondering whatever happened to Jumaine Jones - and who doesn't think about this at some point every day? - then fear not, impoverished serfs, for Jumaine is doing fine. Unable to crack an NBA rotation any more through no real fault of his own, Jonesy still has a decent bsketball career, recently signing for Armani Jeans Alyssa Milano in Italy, for one year plus an optional second year. I still don't get why he's not in the NBA, given that this is a league in which players like Uros Slokar and Damir Markota keep getting drafted. But whatever. What would I know. I'm a middle aged blogger who has never played the sport and who loves Star Trek and who lives in his mum's basement, wanking about stats and the like. (More on the glaring accuracies of this stereotype - apart from the middle-aged, basement, Star Trek and wanking bits - in a future blog post.)

- Kennedy Winston has been released by Greek champions Panathinaikos, who won the Greek League AND the Greek Cup last season, but who obviously fancy their chances of being able to repeat this feat without K-Win in their team. (By the way, isn't that the perfect starting pitchers nickname? Apart from maybe B.A.A. Whipsave. Which I just invented. And which is shit.)

- Former Spurs wingman Melvin Sanders has signed with Gran Canaria in Spain, after leaving Unicaja Malaga, where he played rather badly last season. You will, of course, remember Malaga from the previous Summer Signings post as being the team that Robert Archibald and Omar Cook are to play for next season, a proposition that excites me greatly. It would excite you too if you'd ever seen Robert Archibald bank home a 21 foot runner while drawing a three point play. I have seen this, and I am not ashamed to admit that I was slightly aroused by it. He looked like Dirk, only he wasn't Dirk, which made it better. Great times. Great times.

- Quinton Hosley has managed to land a rather plush gig with Spanish legends Real Madrid, as the replacement for recently departed (not dead, just departed) Charles Spider Smith. Lucky Quinton.

- Sam O'Udrih - best known for being Beno's brother, partly because he is, and partly because Samo's not really done anything of his own - has signed with Estudiantes. Estudiantes is in Slovenia, not Uruguay as I first thought. Other players that you may have heard of in the Slovenian league include.....no one.

- Sani Becirovic, Denver Nuggets draft choice from 2003, has signed with Roma in Italy for three years. He will be 30 by the time the deal is up, and still with bad knees. This changes his chances of ever joining the NBA from 0.01% percent into precisely zip. But, still, you want to see a 7 minute Sani Becirovic tribute mix anyway, right? Of course you do.


(He's number 7.)

- Willie Deane has signed with Zalgiris in Lithuania, to the amusement of no one.

This post ends weakly.