Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 30

For future reference, a good way to bypass this website's occasional tendency to not work is to use the RSS feed situated on the right. For some unknown, every few weeks, the host company's servers have a glitch whereby updating any page makes it disappear, as the new page is unable to parse properly (or something). As a result, pages can disappear for a few hours until the server is restarted, which is particularly annoying when it's the home page. This is what happened yesterday, and I'd be sorry if it was my fault. But it wasn't.

Snowman update: my dog ate the nose, someone stole the hat, and the pipe fell out. However, the weather hasn't been above freezing yet, and so he still survives as before, slightly icier but just as large. Good times.

Before the list starts, here's a quick TRIVIA QUESTION: which one of the following players has scored the second most regular season points in the NBA? Answer at the bottom.

- Herve Lamizana recently left his team in the United Arab Emirates and joined Al Ittihad (and his wife Jean) in the Egyptian league. I can't imagine where I'll ever say that sentence again. I don't have any stats for Lamizana, but if you like your college basketball enough to remember the names of obscure American players from about a decade ago, then here are Lamizana's American team mates: John Thomas III (college: St Francis), Derrick Franklin (Columbus State) and Chauncey Leslie (Iowa). Those three are nothing to be sniffed at: between them, they've won the Turkish second division, a Jordanian league championship, and a Hungarian Cup runners-up medal. You can't deny experience like that.

- Maciej Lampe doesn't suck any more. In his third season with Khimky, Lampe is averaging 14.1 points and 5.7 rebounds in the Russian league, both team highs, alongside 13.0 points and 3.0 rebounds in two Eurocup games. These numbers come on a stacked team that also features Jorge Garbajosa, Kelly McCarty and Carlos Delfino, amongst others. Lampe was a joke back in the day, but not any more.
- Sean Lampley is signed with Al Arabi (and his wife Jean) in the Qatarian league. As if he could be anywhere else.

- James Lang averages 8.5 points and 5.8 rebounds in 18.6 minutes for the Utah Flash. That's extremely good production in such a short amount of time. That's what Tyrus Thomas does on average every night, and he plays more minutes than that. So why does Lang only play 19 minutes a game? Because he averages 4 fouls a game in that short time. And that's....a lot of fouls.

- Kris Lang is in Turkey, averaging 5.7 points, 4.1 rebounds and 0.9 blocks per game in Turkish league play for Turk Telekom Ankara. Lang also averages 5.3 points and the same number of rebounds in the Eurocup. His full first name is Kristoffer, which is indefensibly bad spelling, although it does explain his abridged version.

- Trajan Langdon is with CSKA Moscow, and has been since 2005. Langdon averages 11.4 points in the Russian league and 11.8 in the Euroleague, numbers slightly down on last year.

- Keith Langford is playing for Virtus (La Fortezza) Bologna, the team that won't play Petteri Koponen, and that Earl Boykins briefly walked away from. Langford averages 11.4 points, 4.9 rebounds, 1.7 assists, 2.6 steals and 0.8 blocks in the Italian league, and 15.7 points, 4.4 rebounds, 1.3 assists, 2.3 steals and 0.6 blocks in the EuroChallenge. Combined, Langford has totalled 293 points on 193 shots, which for points per shot fans is 1.52 PPS. And that's a lot when you score that much.

- Dan Langhi is unsigned after a short stint in Puerto Rico over the summer. He didn't play for the whole of the previous season, and was in Japan before that. Before that he apparently had a tryout with the Kings, which I totally don't remember.

- Stephane Lasme plays for Partizan Belgrade, averaging 11.2 points, 6.8 points and 1.8 blocks in the Adriatic League, and 10.1 points, 6.5 rebounds and 1.6 blocks per game in the Euroleague. Partizan recently knocked off Lottomattica Roma in the Euroleague's Final 16 and continue to surpass everyone's expectations, in no small part due to Lasme's play.

- Charles Lee plays for Goettingen in Germany, alongside Santa Clara guard and porn star Kyle Bailey. Lee averages 13.2 points and 4.1 rebounds, doing quite a lot of scoring for a non-scoring role player. Such is the German league.

- Voshon Lenard is unsigned and unaccounted for.

- Maarty Leunen is playing for the wonderfully named team of Darussafaka in Turkey. Leunen leads the team in both points and rebounds, averaging 12.2 points and 6.1 rebounds, making him exactly 61% of a 20/10 player.



TRIVIA QUESTION ANSWER: Perhaps unsurprisingly, it was Trajan Langdon. The list is as follows:

Lamizana - 0
Lampe - 215
Lampley - 203
J. Lang - 11
K. Lang - 0
K.D. Lang - 0
Clubber Lang - 0
Lang Whitaker - 0
Langdon - 647
Langford - 2
Langhi - 393
Lasme - 83
Lee - 0
Lenard - 6,745
Leunen - 0

CONCLUSION: This list really scrapes the bottom of the barrel.

Nice!

Summer signings, round 7

- In round 3, I set your collective minds at ease about the whereabouts of shaven headed corner lingerer, Jumaine Jones. I told you that he had signed in Italy. But apparently that's not the end of the matter. In a rather unique tale, Jumaine's two agents appear to have simultaneously agreed to two seperate contracts with two different teams in two different countries. Jones has seemingly agreed to sign with both Milano in Italy and with a team called Ural Great Perm in Russia. (Great name. A great name. Great perm, too.) I don't think there's any precedent for knowing quite what happens in situations such as this, so it's FIBA's problem now. Good stuff, though.

- On the off-chance that you can remember who Rashad Wright is - a Pacers secound rounder from 2004 who never made the NBA - then you'll be horny when you hear that he has signed with ALBA Berlin in Germany, after last played for Efes Pfilsen in Turkey. For those unaware....that's a backwards step. (No offense to ALBA Berlin fans. But it is. You know?)

- In news that I know will excite at least one reader of this website, former humoursly bad NBA player Reece Gaines has signed for Angelico Biella in Italy. I don't know who she is, but she sounds hot. I made that joke once before, and I shall continue to use it every time the name Angelico Biella crops up, because I'm unoriginal like that. (If you've never received a "hey, do you know what's happened to Reece Gaines?" email in your life, then you're missing out. Ask nicely and I'll write you one. Maybe.)

- Loukas Mavrokefalidis remains in Greece, going from Olympiakos to Maroussi Costa Coffee, where he'll join none other than Andreas Glyniadakis. Try spelling that frontcourt while shitfaced on Mescaline. Can't be done.

- Jorge Garbajosa did indeed sign with Khimky, as thread in a previous blog post. I guess the leg's better now, eh?

- Just In Cage has signed with Belgacom Liege in Belgium (or, specifically, in Liege in Belgium). This news may interest you if you are a Bulls fan - Cage played mediocrely for the Bulls summer league team last season, but was invited to training camp anyway, where he didn't last for very long. However, at some point between the two events, David Thorpe (who was working with Cage in some capacity) wrote a glowing commendation of Cage's hero-like basketball abilities. Certain Bulls fans bought into that, and began planning the franchise's entire direction around the formidable Justin "Magical" Cage. So news of hsi signing in the Belgian league will piss on those people's chips.

- Another Bulls summer league and former Spur, Keith Langford, is on the cusp of signing for Bologna in Italy. That's all I have to say about that. And now onto news about actual NBA players.

- The Spurs re-signed Kurt Thomas, and also signed Creighton's finest Anthony Tolliver. It has to be said that, while everyone's talking about the potential juicy goodness of the 2010 free agency class, no one has talked about the Spurs's potential impact on it. They do, after all, have only two players under contract that summer, and even though Manu Ginobili will be a free agent that summer, the Spurs have enough room to give him an extension and still be able to throw an arseload of cheese at a big name player. They'll have only the merest bare bones of a squad, but an aging foursome of Ginobili, Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and, say, Dirk Nowitzki....well, you'd have to respect that, even if the other 9 players are on minimum salary contracts. Which they'd probably have to be. (Note: given the way things work in the NBA, this scenario will prove to impossible within next to no time. Either Dirk will sign an extension, the salary cap won't increase as expected, or the Spurs will spend money on multiple lesser players. Or the franchise will fold. Or all four of those things. This is why I don't make predictions any more - they suck and are hard. Giggidy.)

- Sebastian Telfair re-signed with the Minnesota Timberwolves, after a 'breakout' season in which he shot 40%.

- The Detroit Pistons are to sign Will Bynum, which could be amusing if Lindsey Hunter sticks around for another season. Imagine looking down that bench for a point guard who can hit a jumpshot. Good luck.

- Ricky Davis is the latest reasonably big name NBA player to be offered a disproportionally huge amount of money from Greek club Olympiakos as a replacement for Loukas Mavrokefalidis...........

- .....And Josh Childress did go to Olympiakos after all. Good on you, sir.

Where Are They Now? Part 22

James Lang is averaging 12.4 points and 7.0 rebounds for the Utah Flash of the D-League.

Kris Lang is playing for Ankara in Turkey, alongside Khalid El-Amin. Finding out stats for Turkish teams seems to need more work than I am willing to put forth, so if you really want to know what Kris Lang averages, here's what you've got to work with. I cannot for the life of me figure out how anyone can be interested enough in the career of Kris Lang to do this, but if you do, good luck to you. Lord knows I've wasted time in much worse ways, and on much worse people than Kris Lang.

Keith Langford finally got a look-see in the NBA this season, joining up with the Spurs for a few days. This was back when the Spurs were going through that weird phase of signing lots of people for very short periods of time, as emergency injury cover. It wasn't something that was particularly worthwhile - the Spurs had it all calculated so that they could afford to do this while staying under the tax threshold for the season. However, after Tony Parker got injured, the Spurs then had to sign Damon Stoudamire as cover a bit earlier than they wanted to, which put them back into the tax territory by a mere few thousand dollars. This meant that they had to make another move to get back under it, which they did with the Kurt Thomas trade. (Stoudamire's subsequent shitty play made none of it worth it.)

In a roundabout way, I'm saying that Keith Langford cost the Spurs a first round pick. Just saying.

Of course, if (when) Kurt Thomas wins the Spurs an NBA title - not all that farfetched of a theory if you say it without sarcasm and with context - then my stupid Keith Langford rant is shown up for what it is: stupid.

Anyway, still laden with the guilt of sabotaging such a well-oiled machine (maybe), Langford is playing for the deeply attractive Angelico Biella in Italy, averaging 15 points and 6 rebounds. He is playing alongside B.J. Elder, who is a guard that you may have heard of, and which is also a mighty welcome alternative Christmas present for your grandparents than the usual shortbread that you give them.


Dan Langhi is practicing his open-20-foot-jumpshot-shooting trade in Puerto Rico, averaging 15 points and 9 rebounds for a team called Conquistadores de Guaynabo. Here is a picture of Dan Langhi as a boy:



I have no idea why I own this.


Charles Lee - by the way, it is a coincidence that this edition is featuring so many ex-Spurs - is playing for Verviers Peinster in the Belgian league. He averages 9.4 points and 3.4 rebounds, and may I remind you that this is the frickin' Belgian league we're talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Charles Lee isn't an NBA talent. Write that down. Shout it from the rooftops. Carve it into trees. Brand it on sheep. It hath been decreed.

Don't know what Voshon Lenard is doing. Don't care what Voshon Lenard is doing.

Anthony Lever-Pedroza, who briefly got into the league, probably on the basis of who he was related to (he is Fat Lever's nephew), won't be getting back into it unless he stops being crap. Lever-Pedroza, now 29, last played for Siroki in Bosnia, and may be still there, but I can't tell because I don't speak Bosnish.

Ron Lewis did not get drafted, and thus he went to Belgium to play alongside Mario Boggan. (It's the classic route to the NBA.) Lewis averages 16.7 points for a team called Leuven.

Sergei Lishouk is now 26 years old, averaging 12 and 6 for Azovmash in the Ukraine, and simply has not panned out.

Randy Livingston, who stated that he was "99.55 sure" that was was going to retired after the 2006 season, has now spent two seasons in the D-League destroying all comers. Livingston has averaged 10.7 assists this season down there, the league's best, and he also holds the single game record of 22 in a game.

Steve Logan signed in Venezuela for the start of their season, but was waived due to injury. Since not joining the NBA, Logan has played in the ABA, Poland, Turkey, Greece and Portugal, but hasn't played hardly at all since 2006. This analysis is in-depth!

Raul Lopez averages only 7.3 points and 2.3 assists for Real Madrid. Hmm. Could have sworn that he was better than this.