Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 30

- Josh Heytvelt

Gonzaga graduate Josh Heytvelt is one of the best players in Turkey. His team (Oyak Renault Bursa) are third last in the Turkish TBL with a 6-16 record, but it's not the fault of Heytvelt, who averages 16.6 points and 9.7 rebounds per game. The scoring ranks 10th in the league, and the rebounds rank second only to Jamar E. O'Davidson. Bursa won a massive game at the weekend when they beat the high flying Turk Telekom; Heytvelt played all 40 minutes and put up 26 points and 13 rebounds. (Ricky Davis had 20 for Turk Telekom in his second game for the team. He scored 8 in the first.)



- Herbert Hill

Providence big man Herbert Hill's professional career has barely gotten going due to knee injuries. He was drafted by the Sixers and stayed with the team all season, but never played in a game for them due to knee surgery, and the rehab from that overlapped into last year. Hill initially tried out for Le Mans in August 2008 but was not sufficiently recovered, and did not return to action until February, when he played the last 15 games of the D-League season with the Bakersfield Jam and Tulsa 66ers. Now healthy again, Hill has spent all of this season in South Korea with the Daegu Orions, a team whose name I keep misreading as the Daegu Onions. (Chuck Swirsky would love them.) Hill is averaging 19.1 points, 9.5 rebounds and 2.2 blocks in 32.2 minutes per game.

Hill's American team mate on the Onions is a former Louisiana-Lafayette swingman called Anthony Johnson, which is quickly becoming the most popular name in basketball. Not only is there that Anthony Johnson, but there's also THE Anthony Johnson (the one with no neck that currently doesn't play for the Magic), as well as Montana guard Anthony Johnson who scored 42 points in the Big Sky Conference Championship Game. That last Anthony Johnson scored 42 of his team's 66 total points, 34 in the second half, and his team's last 14. He was able to create off the dribble at will, using all kinds of craft and penache, and his jumpshot looked sweeter than a flambéed cantaloupe. I don't know what the future holds for unathletic 6'3 scoring guards, no matter how good their jumpshot. But I do know that that performance will be remembered for a while.



- Kyle Hill

Hill started the season with Meridian Alicante, playing his second season for the ACB team that he had helped win promotion from the LEB Gold last year. However, he averaged only 5.9 points in 17.0 minutes per game, and left the team when Serkan Erdogan was brought in last month, moving to Serbia to play for Hemofarm. In his 2 games for Hemofarm so far, Hill has totalled 48 minutes, 2 points and 3 fouls.

Hill was drafted out of Eastern Illinois by the Mavericks in 2001 with a pick that they had received in 2000 from the Rockets. Houston traded the rights to Eduardo Najera and a 2001 second (Hill) to Dallas in exchange for the rights to Dan Langhi. Dallas then traded those rights back to Houston in 2001 as a small part of the multi player Glen Rice/Shandon Anderson deal that saw Dallas trading Hill's rights to Houston and Howard Eisley to New York in exchange for Muggsy Bogues, who never played for the team. It was a salary dump of Eisley'a $41 million salary, but why Dallas had taken on that salary only one year before is a mystery.



- Steven Hill

Arkansas centre Steven Hill started the year in training camp with the Chicago Bulls, but was waived after a week and appeared in no preseason games. He has spent the season in the D-League, bouncing on and off he roster of the Tulsa 66ers. In the 11 games he has managed, Hill has averaged 8.1 minutes, 1.0 points, 2.0 rebounds, 0.7 blocks, 0.6 turnovers and 1.0 fouls. He's still a seven foot athletic shotblocker, so he's still intriguing. But he also still can't play.



- Tyrone Hill

Hill last played in December 2003 for the Miami Heat, and is now an assistant coach with the Atlanta Hawks. He turns 42 years old on Friday. You're now feeling old too.



- Kyle Hines

NC-Greensboro graduate Hines is doing that thing that he does where he puts up a crapload of stats. Playing for Prima Veroli in Italy's LegaDue, Hines is averaging 18.7 points, 8.4 rebounds, 3.6 steals and 1.3 blocks per game, shooting 65% from the field and 56% from the line.

Only six players in the history of NCAA basketball have ever recorded more than 2,000 points, 1,000 rebounds and 300 blocks. Those six are David Robinson (1st overall pick, 1987), Pervis Ellison (1st overall pick, 1989), Derrick Coleman (1st overall pick, 1990), Tim Duncan (1st overall pick, 1997), Alonzo Mourning (2nd overall pick, 1992, behind only Shaquille O'Neal) and Kyle Hines (undrafted, 2008).

One of those things is not like the others.



- Robert Hite

Hite was playing with JuveCaserta in Italy's Serie A as recently as last week, but was released this week for reasons not immediately known. He had averaged 12.7 points and 3.7 rebounds in 3 games for the team, and in 10 games for Sigma Montegranaro earlier in the year he had averaged 9.3 points and 2.6 rebounds.



- Julius Hodge

Hodge burnt a lot of bridges in Australia last year. He was playing to a LeBron-like standard, outrageously good for a guard without a jumpshot, but then he walked out on the Adelaide 36ers amid a wave of controversy. Various reasons were cited ranging from racial taunting in the crowd to a payment dispute; whatever the reasons, things got acrimonious and then some. Yet apparently Hodge didn't burn every bridge there, because against all odds, he returned to the country (if not the 36ers) to play again this season. In the now-completed NBL regular season, Hodge averaged 17.5 points, 5.3 rebounds and 5.9 assists for the Melbourne Tigers. And in typical Julius Hodge fashion, he shot 49% from the field, 59% from the foul line, and 0% from three point range.



- Fred Hoiberg

Hoiberg's role in the Timberwolves front office is now officially the Vice President Of Basketball Operations. Job titles tend to carry different meanings for different teams; for example, John Paxson is the Vice President Of Basketball Operations while Gar Forman is the General Manager, but while Gar does all the leg work, Paxson ultimately has final say. In contrast, other Vice Presidents Of Basketball Operations include Tom Penn (Portland), Sam Hinkle (Houston) and Mark Warkentein (Denver); the last one is fully in charge, while the other two aren't. It's not exactly a uniform title, but in Hoiberg's case, it means he is second to President of Basketball Operations, David Kahn. As for the difference between Hoiberg's role and that of General Manager Jim Stack, I couldn't say. And as for what Rob Babcock does as assistant GM, I don't know. Either way, there's no Kevin McHale any more.



- Randy Holcomb

Ex-Bulls forward Holcomb was playing in Spain's LEB Gold with Caceres, but left in January. He averaged 10.4 points and 4.5 rebounds in 17 games, and is currently unsigned.

Holcomb is now a Libyan citizen, turning up randomly on their national team in the summer under the name Raed Farid Elhamali. For a whole load of player nationalities, ranging from the obvious to the random, view this list.



- J.R. Holden

As always, J.R. Holden is with CSKA Moscow. This is his 8th season there now, and he has one more left on his contract after this. On the season he is averaging 11.6 points per game in the Russian league, 10.3 points per game in the Euroleague and 8.5 points per game in the VTB United League. In 8 VTB games Holden has not yet taken a single foul shot; he has only 32 in 37 combined games overall. But never mind.

No J.R. Holden commentary is complete without this clip of his steal and championship winning basket in the dying seconds of Eurobasket 2007. Michael Jordan in the 1998 NBA Finals? Bollocks. J.R. Holden all the way. This is how you do it without a push-off. (Try and overlook how bored the commentator sounds.)

- Jared Homan

The Ho-Man is the starting power forward for Marousi, Greece's third best team who have put on a damn fine showing in their first Euroleague campaign. As mentioned in the Jamon Gordon entry, Marousi have now been eliminated, but it was a good campaign nonetheless. On the season, Homan is averaging 8.8 points and 6.3 rebounds in less than 20 minutes per game in the Greek league, and averaged 9.6 points and 5.2 rebounds per game in the Euroleague.



Finally....

- Antoine Hood

After two years out of the game, Air Force graduate and former Nuggets camp invite Antoine Hood returned to basketball when he signed with the D-League and drafted by the Rio Grande Valley Vipers in the 6th round of the draft. Hood was released by the Vipers without playing a game for them, but he moved to the Czech Republic at the start of this month to play for BK Nova Hut Ostrava. In the first four games outside of America in his incredibly short career, and in his first professional games for nearly three years, Hood has averaged 21.8 points, 4.0 rebounds and 2.3 steals, good numbers all for a 6'4 guard. He's had to go to a bad standard of basketball to do it, but it's a start.

Summer league round-up: Chicago Bulls

View the Bulls summer league roster.

- James Augustine: Something weird happened to James Augustine last year, something which took me a while to figure out. He was drafted by the Magic in the 2006 draft, and signed a two year rookie minimum contract with the team. He stayed with the team for the whole two years, barely playing, and was then tendered a qualifying offer when the two years was up. The second year of his first contract was only 25% guaranteed until July 30th, and the rule with qualifying offers is that they have to be at least the same amount of guaranteed money and the same guarantee dates as the final season of the previous contract. So when Orlando tendered him a qualifying offer, Augustine accepted it immediately, and was thus under contract for the 2008/09 season for $972,581 (the amount of the QO = minimum salary + $175,000), of which $243,145 (25%) was guaranteed, witha guarantee date of July 30th 2008. Orlando waived him before that date, meaning that they essentially paid Augustine a quarter of a million dollars to have him under contract for two weeks in mid-July. Way to do that "creative financing" thing that you do, Otis Smith.

Augustine then buggered off to Spain, where he averaged 7.7 points and 6.1 rebounds in the Spanish league for Gran Canaria. Which isn't great.

- Tyrell Biggs: I saw a lot of Biggs in Pittsburgh last year, and it's tough to say what he was good at. He had a decent set shot, but little interior offense, no finesse, and a bad rebounding rate. He was a decent defensive player, fairly aggressive and physical, but he's also 6'8 and not of NBA size, so his NBA chances don't really exist. However, I wrote all this in a piece last week, and someone responded by telling that I "didn't know anything" and that I should "just shut up," for I did not acknowledge Biggs' magnanimous and gallant willingness to sacrifice all personal goals for the overall benefit of the team, something which he supposedly did by being a role player for four straight years. Or something like that. I guess one of us is right, at least.

- Brandon Costner: I watched Costner play one game last year. This is what I wrote about him:

Brandon Costner never seemed to know what he was doing, disappearing for long stretches, and then trying to force his way back into the action with some poor shots.

That can't be good. Costner averaged 13.3 points, 6.0 rebounds and 1.0 blocks in 29 minutes per game for NC State last season, which isn't that great and which isn't nearly as good as what his 17/7 sophomore year suggested he might become.

- Chris Davis: Davis averaged 14.8ppg, 4.3rpg and 3.1apg for Southern University last season. He shot 41% from the field. He's not making the team. Let's move on.

- Taj Gibson: Gibson will make the team, no doubt, but he's going to have to play bloody well to win over Bulls fans, who remain bitterly pissed off at him for not being Dejuan Blair. (And if you've read my draft diary, you'll know that I'm one of them. I'll back off of this stance soon, though.) If he can show some offensive skill, some pick and roll defense, and the ability and/or desire to rebound, then we will begin to cope accordingly.

- Taurean Green: Green spent one year in the NBA, splitting the 2007/08 season between Portland (the team that drafted him) and Denver (who traded him for Von Wafer to save some money at the deadline). Denver traded him to New York last summer as a part of the Renaldo Balkman deal, but New York wanted him only for his salary and he was waived instantly. Green then spent last year in Spain playing for CAI Zaragoza, averaging 10.7 points and 2.0 assists functioning largely as a specialist shooter. The Bulls could use a specialist shooter, which gives Green a chance, but they also already have Anthony Roberson, which might piss on Green's strawberries.

- Julius Hodge: Hodge was playing like LeBron James in Australia last season, averaging 26.3ppg, 8.0rpg and 6.0apg for the Adelaide 36ers, before leaving the team due to a pay dispute. That was his version of events, at least; his team doesn't necessarily agree. Although given Australian basketball's current problems with solvency, I tend to believe him. Either way, it ended acrimoniously, and Hodge closed out the year in France, averaging 12.4ppg, 5.7rpg and 6.1apg for Besancon in France. His shot is still completely broke, though - he hit only two three pointers combined in the Australian and French leagues (who employ the shorter three point line, remember), and was also a combined 55% shooter from the free throw line between the two. This probably keeps him out of the NBA once again.

- James Johnson: He's a power forward that's not Tyrus Thomas or Taj Gibson, so I like him already.

- Linton Johnson: Johnson was a signing for the Bulls late last season as some emergency playoff depth, and played a few minutes decently. He started his career with the Bulls, and was way less cringeworthy with us this time around than last time, so that was nice. However, he doesn't have much chance of coming back to the team - Luol Deng's return from injury, as well as the draftings of Johnson and Gibson, just took any potential minutes that the old Lintonian could have had.

- Nick Lewis: Lewis has been a professional for three years, and has spent at least parts of all three of them in the D-League. Last year, for the Bakersfield Jam, he averaed 15.0 points and 7.2 rebounds, while shooting 48% from the field, 38% from the three point line and 83% from the foul line. He also has a nice full head of blonde hair. If he could play any defense, he might have had a shot in the NBA before now. But he can't. So he hasn't.

- Lorenzo Mata-Real: Mata-Real played on the Lakers' summer league team last year, as did about 48 other people, where he challenged Ruben Wolkowyski for the "worst player I've ever seen" award. Mata-Real averaged more rebounds than points in two of his three seasons in college, not a good thing when you consider that he only averaged 4 rebounds. In Mexico last year, Mata-Real averaged all of 9.0 points and 5.3 rebounds, and remember that that was in the crappy Mexican league. He's a 6'8 interior player to boot. Where's the NBA resumé here?

- Bryan Mullins: Mullins, a good defensive guard with a jumpshot, was briefly covered in the Celtics round-up. Then again, I didn't really say anything there either.

- DeMarcus Nelson: Nelson has an unguaranteed contract with the Bulls next season, even though he didn't play in a single game with them last season. He was brought in at the very end of the year as defensive cover at the shooting guard position in case of emergencies, but wasn't needed. The Bulls are supposedly renewing their focus on defensive abilities with their personnel this season, and could as always use a bigger defensive minded guard. So Nelson has a chance of making the team again, unless his lack of offensive talent is deemed too painful on a team that was never great at offense in the first place just let its leading scorer for the last four years walk away in free agency. (It still stings a bit, this. Although I wouldn't have paid him $11.6 million a year either.)

- Anthony Roberson: I fleshed out Roberson's chances of making the roster in this Chicagonow.com piece. And remember; you can catch all Bulls news and views, including Anthony Roberson goodness, at chicagonow.com. Go go go go go! (Seriously, though, go. If you do, I'll get paid.)

- Josh Shipp: Shipp just finished his fifth season at UCLA, getting a medical redshirt in 2005/06 due to a bad hip injury. In his senior season, he averaged 14.5ppg on 50% shooting, which is pretty damn good from a shooting guard. Despite having not seen him (I have UCLA games that I keep meaning to watch), everyone tells me he should have been drafted. So that's nice for us, I think.

- A.D. Vassallo: Consdiering that the Bulls need shooters (see the Roberson link), Vassallo has a chance. Vassallo averaged 19.1 points, 6.2 rebounds and 2.6 assists in his senior season for Virginia Tech, shooting 45% from the field, 37% from three point range and 83% from the line. His major assets are his good size and strength, and a jumpshot that has legitimate NBA three point range. Since leaving school, Vassallo has been back in his native Puerto Rico, averaging 2.5 points, 6.7 rebounds and 4.3 assists for Caguas in the Puerto Rican BSN league (which takes place during most other league's offseasons). If he was 6'8 he'd probably in the league, and if he was as fast as John Salmons he'd probably in the league. But he's neither of those, so he's not in the league. Europe will love him, though.

- Luke Zeller: Zeller did largely Fanny Adams at four years in Notre Dame, rebounding badly, playing little defense, and being a specialist jumpshooter. He turned a fine high school career (he was formerly Indiana's Mr Basketball) into an underwhelming college career; Zeller averaged 4.9 points and 2.8 rebounds in his senior season, both of which were career highs. He worked out for the Bulls before the draft, albeit only because Gonzaga's Josh Heytvelt missed a flight, yet went undrafted anyway. Zeller's NBA prospects are even slimmer his left leg. His best chance in the NBA seems to be if some team out there gets confused and thinks that his first name is spelt with a "Tyler" (his superior younger brother currently at North Carolina). Or if his last name is spelt with a "Schenscher".

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 24

ShamSports.com and its proprietor (me) thanks you for your continued patronage. We know that you have a choice of several websites in the area that can serve your NBA needs. We sincerely appreciate you giving us a chance to demonstrate what our website can provide for you, and you can be confident that, in selecting ShamSports.com. you have made a sound, responsible choice for your NBA news - as well as the best choice for your personal enjoyment. I love you. Please stay.

- Richard Hendrix is in the D-League, after being waived by the Warriors earlier this season, despite signing a guaranteed contract in the summer. I don't really understand why, considering that they waived him while preferring to keep Rob Kurz and DeMarcus Nelson, whom they then waived three weeks later to avoid guaranteeing his contract, but whatever. Hendrix is still there if the Warriors want him, and apparently they don't. Hendrix averages 13.6 points, 10.9 rebounds, 1.3 assists, 1.2 steals and 1.9 blocks in 32 minutes a game for the Dakota Wizz, in, their pants.

- Axel Hervelle is still with Real Madrid in Spain, and will be for at least two more years after this one. I got in trouble last time we talked about him, when I said that he hadn't really gotten very far, so I'll instead cop out this time and just give you his numbers: 6.5 ppg, 3.6 rpg, 0.8 apg, 0.9 spg, 0.7 bpg in the Spanish league, and 5.3 ppg, 3.8 rpg, 0.2 apg, 0.8 spg, 0.4 bpg in the Euroleague.

- Tyrone Hill is now an assistant coach with the Atlanta Hawks.

- Kyle Hill is playing for Lucentum Alicante Costablanca in Spanish second division, alongside Taylor Coppenrath. Hill averages 12.4 ppg, 2.2 rpg and 1.6 apg, yet is also about to turn 30; I don't think the NBA beckons any more.

- Herbert Hill is unsigned, after a tryout with Le Mans in August showed only that he hasn't recovered from his knee surgery yet.

- Steven Hill is back with Tulsa in the D-League after being waived by the Thunder. Hill averages 7.6 points, 5.9 rebounds and 2.3 blocks per game in total, but here's the thing; as intriguing as Hill is as a prospect (and he is - athletic 7 footers with shot blocking instincts like that are always worth tracking) there are some far better big men in the D-League. Rod Benson, for example, can't seem to get a shot in the NBA outside of one training camp spot. Courtney Sims got a ten day contract with the Suns, but it was one and done. Pops Mensah-Bonsu can't seem to get another shot in the NBA. Et cetera. These fellas are outproducing Hill in the D-League, so why is Hill the one who got the lengthy run on the Thunder's roster, even if he did spend most of it on assignment? I dunno. Basically this is just a long way of saying that I just want Pops back in the NBA. Let's make it happen.

- Kyle Hines is signed with Prima Veroli in the Italian second division.
In keeping with tradition, Hines is putting up beastly numbers, averaging 16.5 points, 9.1 rebounds, 3.1 steals and 2.1 blocks in 31 minutes a game. Here's the thing - outside of a mere dollop of summer league action, I've never seen Kyle Hines play. I admit that. NCAA is not my thing, and although I'd like to know a bit, I don't. But what I do know is this - he absolutely beasted in college, and while UNC Greensboro isn't the biggest name school in the world, the list of names that feature on the 2000/1000 list is predominantly good NBA talent. Now in Italy (admittedly the second division) Hines again continues to beast, with simply awesome defensive statistics. My question, then, is this - a training camp spot somewhere? Yay? Nay? Pops Mensah-Bonsu? Who cares how short you are, when you can flat out produce. (Giggidy.) Height factors, sure, but when you're good, you're good. And Kyle Hines looks to be good.

- Robert Hite started the year with Tau Vitoria in Spain, totalling 2 points in 2 games. He then left (Tau didn't need him; they lead the Spanish league comfortably anyway), and later joined BC Oostende in Belgium, for whom he has totalled 40 points, 11 rebounds and 0 assists in two further games.

- Julius Hodge, the Jules of Harlem, was on his way to stardom in Australia earlier this season, averaging 26.3 points, 8.0 points and 6.0 assists (albeit 1-6 from three point range) in 8 games for the Adelaide 36ers. However, he then walked out on the team before a game, and there's not been a real reason given as to why. Either way, it ended ugly, and the team only agreed to let Hodge out of his contract once he agreed to refund a sum of roughly $30,000 AUS that the team had forwarded him. Why they did this, I am not sure, but since Hodge had previously claimed that the team was behind on its payments, I guess he was wrong. Hodge was replaced by former Wizard, Rod Grizzard (it rhymes!), and Julius has since signed with Besancon Basket Comte Doubs, but hasn't played a game for them yet.

- Fred Hoiberg is still an assistant general manager in Minnesota's ever-confusing hierarchy of executives.

- Randy Holcomb hasn't played since leaving his team in the Phillipines in July.

- Jared The Ho-man is signed with Cibona Zagreb, averaging 4.0 points, 3.2 rebounds and 0.7 blocks in the Euroleague, along with 6.1 points, 4.8 rebounds and 0.7 blocks in the Adriatic league.

- And finaly, Antoine Hood is just as out of basketball as the last time you asked. It's been roughly two years since he was last in the D-League with the Colorado 14ers, and he hasn't signed anywhere since. I don't know why.

Summer signings, round 13

- After signing Brian Skinner and waiving Josh Powell, as described in the previous blog post, the Clippers finally did the other obvious thing and withdrew the qualifying offer to Nick Fazekas. This moves leaves them with roughly $1.4 million in remaining cap space. However, if they hadn't made the moves to sign draftees Eric Gordon, DeAndre Jordan and Mike Taylor unnecessarily early, as well as the even more unnecessary Jason Hart trade, then that number would be more like $2.5 million. I'm going to keep bloody going on about this until someone patronisingly rubs me on the head and tells me that it's OK.

- Adonal Foyle re-signed with the Orlando Magic, who still don't have a good backup big man. I'm all about Marcin Gortat, though. I like him. Also, free agent Magic guard Carlos Arroyo signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv in Israel, a move insignificant of itself, but which serves to make this year's already weal free agency point guard crop even weaker. Someone needs to either gamble on Shaun Livingston, or get Kevin Ollie back in this league. Anything to keep Smush Parker out. (NB: Earl Boykins was rumoured to be going to Maccabi, but that was before the Arroyo signing was announced, so I doubt that's still on. However, for all his failings, Boykins is maybe now the best free agent left on the market. That's how bad the market is.)

- While we're on the subject of crappy journeyman point guards, Anthony Goldwire is still going, signing for Egaleo in Greece. Goldwire's kicking 40's door down, in the words of the lyrically superior Eminem, but he's still getting basketball jobs. So he's either broke, or he deeply loves the game. I truly hope it's the latter.

- The Lakers signed a short D-League scoring guard, Dwayne Mitchell. Seems like a weird place to start when they have other depth concerns, but oh well. I watched qutie a bit of the Lakers summer league, and Mitchell didn't play much behind such luminaries as Joe Crawford, Coby Karl, Brian Roberts and Cedric Bozeman. I don't know what to make of that.

- Julius Hodge says he wants to make an NBA comeback. Hmmmm. For those unaware, Hodge played for the New Jersey Nets summer league team. For those also unaware, the New Jersey Nets basketball operations person thingy is Kiki Vanderweghe. For those yet further unaware, Kiki Vanderweghe is the man who drafted Hodge way too frigging high back when Vanderwghe was the basketball operations person thingy with the Denver Nuggets. Yet even while crossing the country to follow the one guy to date who thought him worthy of an NBA contract, Hodge couldn't get himself another one. That doesn't bode well.

- Kevinn Pinkney and Shan Foster have agreed to sign with Juve Caserta in Italy. Therefore, Shan Foster must continue to wait to PLAAAAY IN THE NBAAAAAAAA". (I laughed at myself. Judge me if you must.)

- Another Dallas secound round draft pick, Renaldas Seibutis, has signed with Bilbao in Spain. Do you know how hard it is to think up good Renaldas Seibutis jokes? Let me tell you. It's very hard indeed. So I won't bother.

- Ndudi Ebi has signed with Carife Ferrara in Italy, alongside Harold Jamison. There just aren't enough Harold Jamison updates in the world today. Do you know what you get if you Google News-search "Harold Jamison"? Nothing. Well, nothing in English, anyway. Fucking shame.

- Steven Smith has signed with Kolossos Rhodes in Greece, perhaps the finest non-Phillipino team name I've ever seen. Such imperialism! Such history! Such distinction! Such pressure! Good luck Steven.

- Uros Slokar has signed for Fortitudo Bologna. By the way, if you like professional basketball players with accessibility, you'll LOVE Uros Slokar's website. Feel free to email him. Tell him I sent you. Offer him the job as this site's main web developer. Don't tell him that it's unpaid.

Top 24 NBA Sex Scandals Of The Last 15 Years

In case you missed it, a story "broke" (if that's the right way to phrase something that's been around, but underacknowledged, since about 1998) NBA legend Karl Malone knocked up a 13 year old girl when he was a college player. Why this has gone past us so quietly is a mystery, but it does seem to be just one more in a long list of recent NBA sex scandals. And so here is that list.

Stories listed in no particular order.



LIST OF NBA PLAYERS (and owners) IN RAPE/WEIRD NAUGHTY SEX STUFF SCANDALS:


1 - Karl Malone: See above.

2 - Bryant Matthews: Former Raptor (for about a week) only got out of jail earlier this year for a rape charge in which he walked in on his friend and his friend's girlfriend having sex in a hotel room, and stuck his fingers in her lovely lady lump. His in-court defense was "[I] thought she was cool with it". Apparently she wasn't. Served nine months.

3 - DeShawn Stevenson: Had consensual sex with a 14 year old when he was 20, which isn't rape in the she-didn't-want-it sense, but which is clearly statutory. Pleaded no contest to sex with a minor. Was sentenced to 2 years probation and 100 hours of community service, which somewhat sadistically was served at a "Boys And Girls" club.

4 - Ruben Patterson: Sentenced to a year in jail (all but 15 days of which were suspended) after pleading no contest to an attempted rape charge on his nanny. Allegedly, she came in to find Patterson standing naked, masturbating. He then forced her to gigoogidy his gerschmoigin, and ejaculated within seconds. Only then did he let her leave. Allegedly. Also fined $100,000 by the Blazers, which seemed a little ironic since they'd just given him $35 million, even with this charge hanging over him. Additionally received 2 years probation, a $5,000 fine and had to pay the nanny.

5 - Chris Webber and Juwan Howard: Accused of sexual assault. Jury decided not to indict. Howard later sued the accuser, won, and donated his $100,000 settlement to a rape crisis centre.

6 - Ron Mercer, Antoine Walker and Chauncey Billups: Details on this are sparse, but apparently they were sued for rape. Why would you sue for rape? Why wouldn't you press charges? I don't get it. Either way, no charges were brought, and an out-of-court settlement was reached. (The incident took place at Walker's home, where - allegedly - he walked in on the act, and declined his housemate Michael Irvin's invitation to dive right in there. Strange times.)

7 - Andray Blatche: Arrested and charged with solicitation. Was sentenced to attend a day's seminar on the dangers of prostitution, which seems like no punishment whatsoever.

8 - Kwame Brown: Accused of sexual assault after a playoff game. No charges brought due to a lack of evidence. The woman in question admitted to a consensual encounter, and then apparently it got less consensual. But that doesn't explain why she then hung around for hours afterwards.

9 - Kobe Bryant: Yeah, you know this story. Case dropped in criminal court, settlement reached in civil court.

10 - Jahidi White: Investigated for sexual assault. Details extremely absent. No charges. (Rumour has it that it involved a nude Oriental lady and a fat white chick. And lots of crying. Allegedly.)

11 - Julius Hodge: Accused of sexual assault on a Denver woman. The woman claimed that, after driving her back to her house after being at a club, Hodge forced her onto the bed and tried to rape her. No charges were brought due to lack of evidence. The woman was then jailed for violating her concurrent probation by being out that late.

12 - Michael Olowokandi: Sued for rape by a woman who claims that the encounter led to the less-than-immaculate conception. Can't seem to find out what became of this.

13 - Mo Peterson, Cliff Robinson, Juwan Howard again: All sued at some point for allegedly deliberating infecting someone with herpes. In Juwan's case, it happened twice. The suit against Robinson was for an enormous $20 million, and tests showed that he did (does?) indeed have it. (The herpes, not the $20 million.)

14 - Sam Cassell: Accused of rape way back in 1996. No charges brought.

15 - Elden Campbell: Sued for an apparent date rape, in which he allegedly drugged someone before raping them. I don't know what became of this, because it was back in 1997, and my only source of research is the internet. And the internet wasn't much back in 1997. But obviously not much came of it, or else we would have known about it. Date rape is a pretty bloody serious allegation, after all.

16 - Latrell Sprewell: Investigated for sexual assault after apparently choking a woman he was having consensual sex with on his boat. Don't know what became of this, which implies that it was probably nothing. (But he did later have the boat repossessed.)

17 - Donald Sterling: Admitted to paying a woman for sex for a numbers of years. The story offered up some awesome quotes.

18 - George Shinn: Accused of a kidnapping-for-sex charge, after allegedly luring a woman whom he knew was addicted to prescription drugs to his home, and shagging her. Admitted to having sex with her, but said it was consensual. No criminal charges were brought, and acquitted in civil court.

19 - Bobby Simmons: Arrested for misdemeanour fourth degree assault after allegedly fondling the breasts of a woman who got into his car in the early hours of the morning, and then punching her in the face. Charges not brought due to lack of evidence.

20 - Bernard Robinson Jr: Arrested and charged with assault and battery on a female student after touching her up in a stairwell. Sentenced to a year's probation which included such terms as a written letter of apology, never talking to the girl again, being fined $850, complete abstention from drugs and alcohol, and being forced to partcipiate in sex offender "screening" to see if he had serial sex offender tendencies. That must have been soul destroying.

21 - Justin Williams: Accused of rape. Later dropped. It never became official, but his lawyer alluded to the fact that he did nail the chick while on camera, which would have been rather conclusive in a court of law as to the level of consensual loving.

22 - Calvin Murphy: Former player and Rockets announcer accused of sexual abuse by 5 of his illegitimate children (he has 14 kids, 11 illegitimate). Jury acquitted him in less than two hours. But he lost his job and his reputation, so the damage was done.

23 - Eddie Johnson: "Fast" Eddie Johnson (not the other Eddie Johnson, the sixth man award winner, but the one who is a former Hawks player) was accused of sexual assault on an 8 year old girl. As far as I can tell, he is awaiting sentencing, but that may be wrong.

24 - Nick Anderson: Accused of rape. Held a press conference on the subject in which he cried a lot,



Add any of your own. (Not "add any of your own rape charges", but "add any of your own submissions for NBA players sex scandals that I may have missed.)

Where Are They Now? Part 17

Matt Haryasz is Tony Bobbitt's teammate for Bremerhaven in Germany. Remember them? They're the team that J.R. Bremer doesn't play for. See, it's all coming full circle now. Just THINK how many intricate webs we might have weaved by the time we get to Aurelijius Zukauskas and Where Are They Now? Part 57. Also, here's a picture of Matt Haryasz's mum. I have no idea why you would want to see this.

Juaquin Hawkins is an extremely random entry on this list. Hawkins is a former Houston Rocket, although that was several years ago. Despite now being 34 years of age, he continued to play until very recently, when he was forced to leave his Australian team - the Gold Coast Blaze - after suffering a stroke of all things. Weird times. Bad times. It's not all bad, though - he has made a full recovery and is to rejoin the team for next season. Hooray!

Alan Henderson made it sound this summer like Philadelphia was certain to re-sign him. But they didn't. Henderson has not played elsewhere since.

Axel Hervelle, Nuggets draft choice, is playing for Real Madrid. I have watched him play a few times last year, and, err....he was a bit shit. Although apparently he's gotten better this year. So who knows.

Tyrone Hill is 40 and done.

Kyle Hill is playing for Udine in Italy, alongside Mighty Mike Penberthy. That's Mike Penberthy and Joe Crispin shoutouts in back to back blog posts. Most websites don't offer this. It's a shame.

Robert Hite is playing, well, for Galatasaray of Turkey.

Julius Hodge is playing for the Albuquerque Thunderbirds of the D-League, and apparently the Melbourne Tigers (Australia) are trying to sign him for next season, "unless he goes to the NBA". And that seems unlikely.

Fred Hoiberg is a legend and also the Vice President of the Minnesota Timberwolves and also he is a legend.

Randy Holcomb is playing for the Alaska Aces...in the Phillipines. I don't get this either.

Jared Homan is dick-deep in Polish minge, playing for Slask.

Antoine Hood is unsigned. So that means your team can try to sign Antoine Hood, if they want. By the way, I have almost no idea who the fuck Antoine Hood is.

Some Euro signings you may give a shit about

Some players and free agents who signed in Europe (or other countries in general) that you may or may not care about. I have tried to keep the relevance to those who either get spoken about as good signing candidates, those who were in the NBA last year, or those of significance who made summer league rosters this year. I can't name everybody. Well, I could, but I don't care enough.


- Martynas Andriuskevicius is about to sign for Joventut in Spain.
- Luke Schenscher signed for Bamburg in Germany.
- P.J. Ramos signed for Fuenlabrada in Spain.
- Michael Bradley signed for ALBA Berlin in Germany.
- Will Blalock signed for Hapoel Jerusalem in Israel.
- Marcus Fizer signed for Maccabi Tel Aviv, also in Israel.
- Nikoloz Tskitishvil signed with Teramo in Italy.
- Ersan Ilyasova signed with Barcelona. In Spain. Obviously.
- Julius Hodge signed with Varese in Italy.
- James Singleton signed with Tau Vitoria in Spain.
- Lawrence Roberts signed with Olympiakos in Greece.
- Jared Reiner signed with Murcia in Spain.
- Zeljko Rebraca signed with Pamesa Valencia in Spain.
- Bracey Wright signed with Aris Thessaloniki in Greece.


More when I can be arsed.