Summer signings, round 15

- Chris McCray signed with Rimini in Italy, a town whose very name made it destined for basketball greatness (and thus, by proxy, destined for Chris McCray). While we're on the subject of people named McCray, I'd like to extend an RIP to Colin McRae. And Steve Fossett. And Glenn Miller. And Matthew Harding. And Bernie Mac. And Mother Teresa. And basically anybody who has ever died. Except for maybe Fred West. And Hitler. And Judas. And Saddam Hussein. And Mutsuo Toi. I'll stop this now before you find a less preachy blog to read instead.

- Andre Emmett and JamesOn Curry are both reportedly negotiating with Hapoel Jerusalem. I know that this blog is about "signings" and not negotations, since a whole lot more negotiating goes on than signing. But, sod it. I'm a maverick. I don't play by the rules. Not even the arbitrary ones that I created in the first place. (Kevinn Pinkney was also supposed to be talking to Hapoel, despite a previous blog post relaying the news that he'd signed for an Italian team. However, now another report has come out saying that he's signed with a third team, also in Italy, called Cantu. The lesson, as ever: screw Danny Ainge.)

- Eugene Jeter signed with Vive Menorca of Spain (specifically, the island of Menorca), much to the chagrin of at least one Minnesota Timberwolves fan who thought that Jeter could be the answer to their team's "oh Jesus, someone has to pass the ball?" problem. Since the drafting of Derrick Rose, Eugene Jeter is no longer the best professional point guard in the world with the nickname "Pooh", so the question has to be asked as to why we should still care about him. (Poor old Pooh Richardson is now down to third place, despite his basketball career being far more successful than that of Pooh Jeter's to date. These rankings might not be official, or accurate. Also, if anyone wants to conduct a study as to why only point guards are nicknamed "Pooh", I'll help finance your work, to the tune of a couple of quid.)

- The L.A. Clippers signed Jason Williams, thus pretty much concluding their business for the offseason. At times in these posts, I have slated the Clippers for what I deem to be some cap mismanagement. (I stand by it, although it has been pointed out to me that the Eric Gordon signing was probably necessitated by the common practice that dictates that rookies won't play in summer camps without a contract. I sort of knew that already, but I'm willing to concede the point anyway, because I'm entirely brilliant and just a little bit self-congratulatory.) However, they deserve due credit: this summer, they have signed Baron Davis, Ricky Davis, Brian Skinner and Jason Williams as free agents, while also taking on the market value contract of Marcus Camby while giving up nothing. That right there is a succession of moves that sees decent-to-fine players obtained for good value - Baron Davis signed for far less than the maximum, Ricky Davis signed cheaply for one year, Skinner took the minimum, Williams may as well have done, and Camby is tied in for two years at an extremely good price for an elite centre. For this, the Clippers deserve their due. I still worry about their long term future, or lack thereof (although they do have something of a 2010 plan on the go), and they aren't going to win much other than a playoff spot in the immediate future. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, and signing good players for good prices never is. So, kudos.

- The Josh Smith played itself out thusly: Atlanta refused to budge from their lowball of a 5 year, $45 million offer; Smith looked elsewhere; Smith signed a 5 year and $58 million offer sheet from Memphis; Atlanta quickly matched. So that's pretty sensible all around. The news that Memphis isn't entirely against the idea of spending their cap room comes as a welcome relief, though, and it gives me an idea, one which will future in the next blog post. (Hint: It's based around an anagram of Neb Gondor. And the fact that I just made that a link may give the game away slightly.)

- Josip Sesar has signed with Zrinjski Mostar in Bosnia, and not the Boston Celtics. Damn shame.

- Sun Yue, second round pick of the Lakers last year, has agreed to sign with the team. Apparently, the important Lakers people reckon that Yue may get some point guard time, and Lamar Odom will also spent some time playing at the guard spots. Verdict: I think they're lying.

- Miami signed Yakhouba Diawara because they didn't think that they had enough players under contract yet.

- The Hawks signed Thomas Gardner and Othello Hunter. The Gardner signing, while largely inconsequential, gives the Hawks six guards not named Salim Stoudamire. That, plus this rather ominous blog report thing, gives me the vague idea that maybe Salim Stoudamire isn't going to back to the Atlanta Hawks next year. So, if there's anyone out there with sway in this 'ere NBA world - do me a favour. Either sign Salim Stoudamire, or help us find somebody who will. He's like Jannero Pargo, and everyone likes Jannero Pargo (or, rather, everyone hates playing against him.) He'll probably come cheaper, too. I demand that someone sign him. I have no leverage with which to make such demands, but that didn't do Luol Deng any harm. (Devin Brown also needs a home, but I think I'm over this now.)

- The New Orleans Hornets re-signed Ryan Bowen. Yeehaw. The Hornets' bench now reads thusly: Mike James, Rasual Butler, James Posey, Bowen, Hilton Armstrong, Julian Wright, and Melvin Ely. Who out of that lot do they expect to be a sixth man, exactly? They appear to have moved on from Pargo and Bonzi Wells, two players always willing to fashion a shot, even if they're not always a good idea. So who's going to provide the bench offense here? I'm aware that Chris Paul is basically Jesus, who could get even me an easy basket, but the real Jesus had a few days off, too. (He got his carpentry NVQ at a young age. Good plan. It's always a good idea to have a fallback option.) So the Hornets could really use someone that can find, take and make a shot off the bench. Mike James isn't getting it done, and Ryan Bowen really isn't getting it done.

Hey, I know! Maybe the Hornets could use Salim Stoudamire!

Channing Frye's blog

Is worth visiting at least once.

I prayed to God for a miracle and what happened? Free internet in the PDX airport. The time blew by. I looked at all the funny videos from the letter-opening bunny to the daily condensed soup, which I recommend for everyone to watch — it’s hilarious.

I get on the plane sit in my nice comfortable 1st class seat and to my dismay the “bubble gut monster” arose his bubbly badness inside my stomach. What I mean is that I had to lay down a huge fart. If we were outside in the woods or maybe at an all-guys party I would have tore a hole in the universe but I had to hold it. Too many people too soon and I knew it was gonna smell.

Et cetera.

All I ask for from NBA players is a semblance of personality. It's a small ask, yet one often unfulfilled by people professionally trained to be dull and boring. A small bit of personality goes a long way, particularly if you aren't very good. If you're likeable as a person, then by proxy you're more likeable as a player. This theory worked on me for Paul Shirley, Scot Pollard, Mark Pope, Andrew Bogut, Rod Benson, Yao Ming, Jalen Rose, Rasheed Wallace, Jonny Gomes, and even Ron Artest. In my book, you gain invauable bonus points for just not being dull. (Let it be known, though, that you will also lose said points for all animal cruelty charges accrued. So that definitely counts against Ron.)

Similarly, if you're completely humourless, the chances are that I won't even try to enjoy watching you play. This is why I'm always quick to defoul Josh Smith, try to avoid Cavaliers games, and why the Derrick Rose era doesn't hearten me as much as it should. (Michael Beasley is entertaining, and he's good. Let it be known that I wanted him, while also remembering that my opinion on draftees ain't worth a damn thing.)

So every time I learn of an NBA player showing signs of a personality without a hint of remorse, I'm all for you. Well done, Mr Frye. Keep writing and not being Josh Smith.

(By the way, the above "personality = good" theory doesn't particularly apply to Gilbert Arenas. He's just interfering. Points gained for trying, points lost for being annoying.)

Qualifying Offers = Lies

If your team didn't agree to an extension with its starlet young player this past offseason - such as is the case with the Atlanta duo of Josh Childress and Josh Smith, the Chicago duo of Luol Deng and Ben Gordon, amongst others - then you've probably experienced a modicum of conversation as to whether that player will take the one year qualifying offer this offseason rather than the security of a long term deal, leaving the distinct possibility that your team will lose a key player and important asset, for jack shit in return. Talk of this possiblity happening is particularly widespread in the case of Gordon, who hasn't done much to deny it.

Let me half-arsedly set your mind at rest - it's really not that likely.

Or rather, it should be really unlikely. It might happen, but history suggests that it shouldn't. This is a list of all the rookie scale players to have accepted the fifth year qualifying offer in recent times, accompanied by a headshot for no reason other than cosmetics.



Melvin Ely

Season before free agency: 9.8 points, 4.9 rebounds, 51% shooting
Season spent on Qualifying Offer: 3.0 points, 1.8 rebounds, 36% shooting
Season after that: 3.9 points, 2.8 rebounds, 47% shooting


Melvin Ely is crap. He has had one year of non-crapness in 7 attempts. That one season was, conveniently, the final one of his rookie contract. Never justifying his draft position, this one year gave Ely the chance to make a bit of money, especially given that this was probably his only other chance at a multi-year contract. (Ely was 28 at the time, after joining the league at age 24. No one seems to remember this.) Ely took Charlotte's one year QO of $3,308,615 (which may or may not have been the only contract that they offered) in preference to taking Phoenix's multi year offer, or one from the Warriors.

Ely then played like his usual wank, and is now on a minimum salary contract with the Hornets.





Vladimir Radmanovic

Season before free agency: 11.8 points, 4.6 rebounds, 41% shooting
Season spent on Qualifying Offer: 9.8 points, 4.6 rebounds, 41% shooting
Season after that: 6.6 points, 3.3 rebounds, 42% shooting


Seattle dodged one hell of a bullet here, when Radmanovic turned down their exceedingly generous offer of a 6 year, $42 million. Why he did this, I don't know. Maybe he thought he was worth more. Or maybe he just hated Seattle. Either way, Seattle reacted, dealing him to the L.A. Clippers for Chris Wilcox, a far better player whom they managed to re-sign for half of what Radmanovic turned down.

Radmanovic did manage to somehow coerce a full MLE contract from the L.A. Lakers, a contract which totalled 5 years and $30.427 million. But, when combined with his qualifying offer of roughly $3.1 millionish, Radmanovic managed to lose almost $10 million on the deal, as well as save Rick Sund from himself.





Mickael Pietrus

Season before free agency: 11.1 points, 4.5 rebounds, 49% shooting
Season spent on Qualifying Offer: 7.1 points, 3.7 rebounds, 44% shooting
Season after that: N/A


Pietrus has always been a very flawed player, but with the onset of the new Warriors system under Don Nelson, many of these were able to be reasonably well covered up. In the fourth season of his rookie deal, Pietrus turned in comfortably the best season of his four year career, and was courted heavily by Miami. His agent claims to have had four teams offer their full MLE to Pietrus, which makes it odd that he didn't take any of them.

In the end, Pietrus was stuck with the one year, $3,470,771 qualifying offer from Golden State. From there, the inevitable has happened - he has regressed. His stats are backwards, his weaknesses are no better than they were, and his team just missed the playoffs. Suddenly, Pietrus's package seems less attractive. (Giggidy.)





Stromile Swift

Season before free agency: 9.4 points, 4.9 rebounds, 47% shooting, 1.5 blocks
Season spent on Qualifying Offer: 10.1 points, 4.6 rebounds, 45% shooting, 1.5 blocks
Season after that: 8.9 points, 4.4 rebounds, 49% shooting, 0.8 blocks


Two key things to remember with Stromile's choice to sign the QO:

1) It was for $6.2 million, more than he would have gotten on the open market for the first season of any contract.
2) Memphis made it clear that they would match anything, and wouldn't entertain many sign and trade offers.
3) He really, really didn't want to be there.

(That's three things, but you get the idea.)

Financially, Stromile either breaks about even by turning down the QO and signing a four year MLE deal (which was the deal he signed with Houston after the QO year expired), or he's maybe even slightly ahead on the deal. Unlike most players, his play didn't decline under the QO, and while his numbers have suffered slightly in the last three years, his play remains pretty good.

He did not get his wish for getting out of Memphis, though, as he was traded back there after only one season in Houston. Tough break.






Aaaaaand........that's everyone this decade. I would go back further and include players such as Michael Olowokandi (a pretty resounding example of why not to turn down extensions), but it becomes too difficult to find the right numbers, so I won't. Those 4 are the only rookie scale players to have taken the qualifying offer since the year 2000.

They're 1-4, with only Swift making the right move. (This is unless Pietrus is ridiculously, insanely fortunate.)



First off, it's pretty obvious that 4 people in 4 drafts is not a huge amount of people to accept the qualifying offer. That goes without saying, given that 124 people were drafted in the first round of those 4 drafts. But I said it anyway.

Secondly, note that the one to have made a decent decision to take the qualifying offer was a second overall pick, which had a huge impact on the size of the offer in question. For reference's sake, here is a list of all the qualifying offers for those fourth year rookie scale players from the 2004 draft who did not get extensions:


Emeka Okafor: $7,082,635
Ben Gordon: $6,404,749
Shaun Livingston: $5,809,705
Josh Childress: $4,844,355
Luol Deng: $4,452,574
Andre Iguodala: $3,800,625
Andres Biedrins: $3,609,636
Robert Swift: $3,579,131
Sebastian Telfair: $3,543,834
Kirk Snyder: $3,313,598
Josh Smith: $3,167,882
J.R. Smith: $3,028,241
Dorell Wright: $2,910,104
Delonte West: $2,762,828
Tony Allen: $2,744,299
Sasha Vujacic: $2,605,559
David Harrison: $2,601,474

(Everyone else either got an extension, or have already been waived.)


Not all of these players will get a qualifying offer, because the team does not want them for that price, or indeed any price. In two cases (Swift and Livingston), the qualifying offer might actually be an advisable route, given the serious injuries from which both are struggling to recover. But only in a few cases is the qualifying offer of a significant threat to be a viable option: Emeka Okafor (who turned down a 5 year, $60 million eztension), Ben Gordon (who turned down a 5 year, $50 million extension), and maybe some of the lower players (Allen, Telfair).

Bizarrely, Okafor and Gordon have both had worse years since turning those extensions, which could mean anything. It could make them more likely to take the security while they can still get it, or it could make them more liable to have a third attempt at a successful contract year push.

The other factor here is the deep free agent class, that affects everybody in this list. Pessimists theorise that this may mean more players take the one year QO and make themselves available for the 2009 free agent market instead. Optimists might say that instead, because of the lack of money out there, those offers from their current teams suddenly look alot more lucrative and sensible. You can probably guess which of those two schools of thought I subscribe to.

Either way, it's extremely difficult to imagine those two (plus others, such as Deng and Iguodala) turning down $50+ million, twice. Especially since they haven't done anything to justify turning it down once.




HALF BAKED CONCLUSION FROM HALF-ARSED ANALYSIS:

There is not a lot of recent history on which to deduce whether taking the qualifying offer is a wise/probable decision or not. This, in itself, is indicative of the fact that it's a highly unlikely scenario. And when what little precedent there is shows the move to be a generally unwise one, that only reaffirms the idea that the likelhood of a player choosing to accept the qualifying really is nothing to fear.

Well, except for the two UConn boys.

Me And Andrew Bogut Like Andrew Bogut

A while ago - about two years, to be inexact - I wrote this:

.......one of my most extreme pet hates is the hand slapping after a free throw. It seems to lead to nothing but awkwardness. What if the free throw shooter doesn't step forward, leaving himself agonizingly out of reach of the rebounder? They're then both left to slap air. Does one of them make the final push to close the gap? Or do they leave it as an air shot? And is that a good precedent when shooting a free throw? Also, when the players come in from behind and smack the shooter on the arse, he generally is not expecting it. This often leads to them instinctively flailing out behind them to try and return the gesture, again coming up with nothing but air. Who is this helping? Does it help the shooter to do this? Do they get the feeling that his team mates are not rooting for him, unless this mindless routine is adhered to? Makes no sense to me. I would outlaw this instantly.

And I stand by it. It is, truly, an extremely gay ritual. However, I decided against a fully fledged campaign against it, for fear of its abject pointlessness being used against me.

It does appear, though, as if I have at least one supporter - Milwaukee Bucks centre Andrew Bogut.

Andrew Bogut has never been one to fear alienating himself, after incidents in the past such as deeming the majority of NBA players as being obseesed with "bling" (for which he was right), and after growing a seriously weird pony tail (for which he was oh so wrong). And seemingly his alienating worked, for not one teammate tried to touch his hands or his arse after this made free throw versus Atlanta, which is normally an automatic gesture of affection, comaraderie and slight homosexuality after every free throw, made or missed.

So he improvised.



Despite implications to the contrary on his profile - one which needs rewriting, after Bogut's recent and totally unexpected improvements in his weak side shotblocking - I like Andrew Bogut. In a league devoid of personality, Bogut has the outlines of one. And even if it's an extremely self-confident personality with the tiniest hints of martyrdom, that is, nevertheless, a personality.

In a league full Of Josh Smith's, I welcome this.

Player profiles known to be in existence

Sometimes people ask me if there's a way to find out which player profiles have been written and which have not, as about 75% of them aren't complete as we speak.

Well, there isn't. Or rather, there wasn't. For I'm now going to tell you.

The following have been done:

Josh Childress, Jason Collier, Tony Delk, John Edwards, Al Harrington, Royal Ivey, Joe Johnson, Tyronn Lue, Zaza Pachulia, Donta Smith, Josh Smith, Salim Stoudamire, Marvin Williams, Tony Allen, Marcus Banks, Mark Blount, Curtis Borchardt, Will Bynum, Ricky Davis, Dan Dickau, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Orien Greene, Al Jefferson, Raef LaFrentz, Kendrick Perkins, Paul Pierce, Justin Reed, Brian Scalabrine, Delonte West, Qyntel Woods, Alan Anderson, Keith Bogans, Primoz Brezec, Kevin Burleson, Matt Carroll, Melvin Ely, Raymond Felton, Jason Kapono, Brevin Knight, Sean May, Antonio Meeking, Emeka Okafor, Bernard Robinson Jr, Cream Rush, Jake Voskuhl, Gerald Wallace, Malik Allen, Eddie Basden, Tyson Chandler, Eddy Curry, Antonio Davis, Luol Deng, Chris Duhon, Ben Gordon, Othella Harrington, Kirk Hinrich, Andres Nocioni, Jannero Pargo, Eric Piatkowski, Drew Gooden, LeBron James, Ira Newble, Erick Dampier, Jerry Stackhouse, Earl Boykins, Marcus Camby, Julius Hodge, Andre Miller, Luke Schenscher, Darko Milicic, Adonal Foyle, Jason Richardson, Chris Taft, Jon Barry, Bob Sura, Austin Croshere, Sarunas Jasikevicius, Scot Pollard, Zeljko Rebraca, Stanislav Medvedenko, Smush Parker, Eddie Jones, Jake Tsakalidis, Lorenzen Wright, Dwyane Wade, Dorell Wright, Andrew Bogut, Desmond Mason, Bobby Simmons, Joe Smith, Kevin Garnett, Troy Hudson, Michael Olowokandi, Vince Carter, Jason Collins, Zoran Planinic, P.J. Brown, Jamaal Magloire, Krik Snyder, Jamal Crawford, Penny Hardaway, Jerome James, David Lee, Michael Sweetney, Steve Francis, Pat Garrity, Raja Bell, Kurt Thomas, Dijon Thompson, Juan Dixon, Khryapa the Rapper, Darius Miles, Travis Outlaw, Ruben Patterson, Joel Przybilla, Zach Randolph, Theo Ratliff, Ha Seung-Jin, Sebastian Telfair, Kevin Martin, Ronnie Price, Brian Skinner, Bruce Bowen, Tony Parker, Rick Brunson, Vitaly Potapenko, Rafer Alston, Eric Williams, Loren Woods, Carlos Boozer, Devin Brown, Keith McLeod, Antonio Daniels, Dan Dickau, Jared Jefferies, Peter John Ramos, Gary Payton, Eddie House, Jay Williams, Rodney Buford, Adrian Griffin, Darvin Ham, Glenn Robinson, Michael Curry, Christian Laettner, James Thomas, Marcus Fizer, Paul Shirley, Matt Freedgy, Keon Clark, Ben Handlogten, Obinna Ekezie, Jared Reiner, Don Reid, Albert Miralles, Andreas Glyniadakis, Cenk Akyol, Darius Songaila, Marcus Douthit, Roger Mason Jr, Shawn Bradley, Slavko Vranes, Szyzmon Szewcyk, Tamar Slay, Ronny Turiaf, Martynas Andriuskevicius, Horace Jenkins, Vlade Divac, Jerome Williams, Andrew DeClercq, David Andersen, Esteban Batista, Josip Sesar, Roberto Duenas, Frederic Weis, Luis Scola, Cezary Trybanski, Norm Richardson, Corey Williams, Kennedy Winston, Ime Udoka, Herve Lamizana, Stephen Graham, Noel Felix, whoever Omar Thomas is, Chris Alexander, Steven Barber, Adam Chubb, Anthony Grundy, Nigel Dixon, Darius Rice, Andrei Fetisov, Aurelijius Zukauskas, Tyrus Thomas, Joakim Noah, Brandon Roy, Sheldon Williams, Marcus Williams, Solomon Jones, Leon Powe, Cheikh Samb, Damir Markota, Allan Ray, Walter Herrmann, Alain Digbeu, Ben Pepper, Ivan McFarlin, Jefferson Sobral, Joe Shipp, Tyler Smith, Aaron Gray, Wilson Chandler, Jermareo Davidson, Coby Karl, Rashid Byrd, Brent Petway, Roderick Wilmont, Jared Homan, Joseph Blair, Alvin Jones and Brad Stricker.


This list took 45 minutes to compile so you'd better use it, or else.

That's an idle threat since I have no way of punishing you if you don't do so, so just ignore it.

What I'd like to do is rig up a comments system where each profile has its own comments section like these blogs posts do. But I don't know how to do that. If you do know, and you wish to tell me, and if you wish to help me accepting that you won't get paid in any way, why not write in and tell me?