Summer league round-up: Houston Rockets

View the Rockets summer league roster.

- Hassan Adams: Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo struck gold in 2007 when he signed Jamario Moon right at the start of free agency, after a fine performance in a Raptors mini-camp. In 2008, he went for it again with Hassan Adams...and he struck out. He signed Adams to a guaranteed contract in July, then watched on as Adams (perhaps complacent due to the guaranteed money) showed up out of shape and with as few ball skills as ever. Adams was later salary dumped onto the Clippers, who cut him.

After that, Adams went to Serbia to play for Vojvodina Srbija Gas Novi Sad, a team that badly needs its name abridging if it's to make any catchy jingles. He totalled 11 points in 2 games before leaving in what I believe was acrimonious circumstances. He won't make the Rockets roster; they didn't sign Trevor Ariza, turn down Von Wafer's advances and spend all that money on Jermaine Taylor just to let Saddam take their roster spot. But it's nice to see him again anyway.

- Rodrique Benson: Rod Benson had a great year in 2007-08, starting out in the Nets training camp, then going to the D-League and leading it in rebounds. But 2008-09 was far crapper: Benson went to France and signed with Nancy, but averaged only 2.3/2.3 in 8 games before being released. He returned to the D-League, and averaged 7.3 points and 6.0 rebounds for the Dakota Wizards, before being traded to the Reno Bighorns (giggidy) where he averaged a far better 16.6 points, 8.5 rebounds and 2.5 blocks.

Rod Benson fact: I accidentally typoed Rod Benson's name while compiling this post, and in doing so I stumbled across a Florida International University female player called Liene Bernsone, who is as Latvian as her name suggests. If you like girls, you might like her.


And here is her team mate, the equally Latvian Lasma Jekabsone:


So that's why Isiah's working at FIU for free; the bevy of Latvian hotties. Fair play to him.

- Chase Budinger: Budinger is but one other on my list of "Players I would totally have rather the Bulls had drafted instead of Taj Gibson at #26," an increasingly long list that's getting a bit extreme and now includes Levance Fields and Byron Eaton. I will get over it eventually, though. (Think of it as a good thing though, Taj. The less I expect of you, the more I'm going to like it when you turn out to be brilliant. And you will. Never forget that. If I have no expectations for you, they can't be dashed. You're like the anti-Eddy Curry. Make me love you.)

- Will Conroy: Conroy put up lots of everything for the Albuquerque Thunderbirds in the D-League last year. 49 games, 44.7 mpg (lead the league), 26.5 ppg (also lead the league), 8.0 apg (5th), 4.8 rpg, 2.0 spg, 4.20 topg. He stuffed that CV like a CV stuffing bitch. And it's a shame that it's more than likely only getting him as far as Spain. But still. A good effort. Have some time off, you must be knackered.

- Marcus Cousin: Cousin averaged 10.9 points, 8.4 rebounds and 2.1 blocks per game for Houston last year, That's the University of Houston, though, not the Rockets. Those are good numbers. Shame about the crap conference that they came in. Mind you, Robert Loggia got drafted while getting slightly worse numbers in the exact same conference. And he's a lot smaller. So that makes total sense.

- Joey Dorsey: Dorsey's rookie year was pretty crap. He signed late -not before losing a game that he wasn't even in - yet ended up getting a way bigger than usual contract for a second rounder. Then it went downhill; Dorsey played all of 6 minutes for Rockets last year, and spent only 7 games in the D-League,. Down there, he played disinterested and largely sucked, averaging 9.7 points and 9.0 rebounds per game, which are pretty tame numbers in relative terms. He's also going to turn 26 later this year, which makes him 18 months older than Darko Milicic. And we all know how much potential he has - none. Still, there's some good news; someone wrote a fluff piece, and his contract isn't guaranteed after this season. So that's something.

- Charles Gaines: Gaines got a training camp contract with the Spurs to start the year, and after getting waived he was assigned to their D-League affiliate, the Austin Toros. The D-League is a slightly strange place for a 27 year old to go, and Gaines perhaps unsurprisingly beasted, averaging 14.9 points and 10.3 rebounds a game. He left before the end of the season to sign with Israeli powerhouse Maccabi Tel Aviv, for whom he averaged 8.0ppg and 6.4rpg. He won't win a roster spot.

- Mike Green: Green played for the Cavaliers summer league team last year, where he started at point guard, took lots of shots and shot 30%. Can't say I was duly impressed, really. More impressive was his follow-up season in Turkey, where he averaged 11.6 points, 4.1 rebounds and 4.4 assists for Antalya, but he shot only 31% from three point range, again in love with his sub par jumpshot. Hone that, and we'll talk.

- Maarty Leunen: Leunen, a draft pick of the Rockets last year, also spent the season in Turkey, playing for the immortally named Darussafaka C.Tires Istanbul. There, he averaged 31 minutes, 12.1 points and 6.2 rebounds per game, shooting 44% from two point range and 44% from three point range. And he took a whole lot more threes than twos. If there was ever an outside chance of Leunen making the Rockets roster this year - and there wasn't, really - then the incumbent Brian Cook just took it away from him.

- Brad Newley: Another unsigned Rockets second rounder, this time from 2007, Newley has spent the two years since being drafted in Greece. Last year, he moved from Panionios to Panellinios, although it's plausible that he just boarded the wrong bus or something and no one sought to correct him. Newley averaged 10.4 points and 3.1 assists in 24 minutes a game, but his jumpshot wasn't really with him all year. He, like Adams, has very little chance of making the team this year, partly due to this next guy.

- Jermaine Taylor: The Rockets bought Taylor's rights on draft night for $2.5 million, which is a hell of a lot of money to give up for a second round pick, even a high 30's one. As a result, I think you can pretty much go ahead and assume that he's making the team.

- Garrett Temple: Temple was the tall point guard to Marcus Thornton's undersized shooting guard, and averaged 7.1 points, 4.5 rebounds and 3.8 assists in his senior season. For some reason, I have a bit of a thing with offensively challenged tall combo guards who want to be point guards - see also, my views on Cedric Bozeman - but the fact that Temple didn't shoot over 40% in any of the four years of his college career means that his NBA prospects don't really exist.

- Darryl Watkins: Darryl Watkins's middle name is "Finesse", but don't read too much into that. Like Gaines, he went to camp with the Spurs last year, but didn't make the cut, and spent the rest of the year in China, averaging roughly 20/14. Good numbers, but it is China.

- James White: White has an unguaranteed contract with the Rockets for next season, and, if they're truly going to go young (and I don't see as though they have a choice), then the arrival of Ariza won't necessarily be the death of White. Nor will Budinger, either.

Views on NBA stuff will come soon. Really.

Players Whose Names Aren't (Or Weren't) Really Their Names

This isn't especially interesting, and definitely isn't important, but it's something I've noticed a lot over the years of doing this. A lot of NBA players's first names we know them aren't really their first names. Some are abridgements, some are nicknames, some are misnomers that are so widespread that they're kind of stuck, and some are just non-sensical.

Here's a list of examples of that which pertain to this website.

- Tariq Abdul-Wahad: known as Olivier Saint-Jean before converting to Islam.

- Shareef Abdur-Rahim: Shareef is his middle name. First name Julius.

- Kenny Adeleke: his Facebook name is Kehnide, if nothing else.

- Deji Akindele: full name is either Ayodeji Joleel Akindele, or Jeleel Ayodeji Akindele. It's hard to tell.

- Blake Ahearn: Blake is his middle name, first name Daniel.

- Akin Akingbala: full name is Akinlolu Akinayi Akingbala, which is pretty spectacular.

- Ray Allen: full name is Walter Ray Allen. Bruce Willis's real first name is Walter, too. Walter seems to be a hated-on name. I quite like it. It reminds me of the fat guy from Micro Machines.

- Koko Archibong: real first name is Aniekan. Nickname origin unknown.

- Brandon Armstrong: his name is still Brandon, but his middle name is Simone, and I just wanted to bring that to your attention.

- Chucky Atkins: real name Kenneth. Nickname comes from his father, also called Kenneth, who was called Chucky while growing up for whatever reason.

- D.J. Augustin: nickname is an abbreviation of his real full name, Darryl Jerard Augustin.

- Larry Ayuso: real name Elias, as in the Sports Bureau. Nickname presumably originates from a desire to have an English name so that people too confused by the highly complicated nature of 'Elias' don't feel alienated. My Thai friend called herself 'Golf' for the same reason. We tried to tell her it wasn't a good idea, but she seemed fine with it.

- Marcus Banks: full name is Arthur Lemarcus Banks.

- Tony Battie: first name is actually Demetrius. "Antonio" is his middle name, hence the Tony.

- Rod Benson: not short for Rodney; full name is Rodrique Zsorryon Benson. Great name.

- Josh Boone: Josh is his middle name. His first name is Oscar, of all things.

- J.R. Bremer: real name Ernest. The J.R. comes from the fact that he's Ernest Jr.

- Kedrick Brown: Kedrick is his middle name. First name Albert.

- P.J. Brown: real name Collier. The P.J. stands for "peanut butter and jelly", his favourite food as a child. How wonderful. Cue bananas.

- Dee Brown (the Illinois one): real name Daniel. Given all the confusion with the other Dee Brown, maybe he could have changed back for our sakes.

- Rashid Byrd: used to be known as Rashid Hardwick; changed it in 2005. Don't know why.

- Mario Chalmers: Full first name is Almario.

- Keon Clark: Keon is his middle name. First name Arian.

- Speedy Claxton: real name Craig. Named Speedy because he is (or was) really fast. And not because he likes methamphetamines.

- Mardy Collins: real name Maurice. Reason for change unknown.

- Jamal Crawford: Jamal is his middle name. First name Aaron.

- T.J. Cummings (giggidy): real name Robert. The T.J. stands for Terry Jr, for he is the son of Terry Cummings, although he's not a real Junior.

- Stephen Curry: Stephen is his middle name. First name Wardell.

- Dale Davis: real name Elliot Lydell Davis. I'm guessing that Dale is a corruption of Lydell.

- Glen Davis: Glen is his middle name. First name Ronald.

- Ricky Davis: same thing. First name Tyree.

- Luol Deng: used to be known as Michael when he lived in England.

- Ike Diogu: Ike is actually his name, so his inclusion here might be erroneous, but it's not short for Isaac. Instead, it's short for Ikechukwu Somtochukwu.

- Joey Dorsey: real name Richard, but has been known as Joey since infancy, after he bounced so much as a baby that he resembled a kangaroo.

- Chuck Eidson: real name Charles. Obvious, really.

- Daniel Ewing: Daniel is his middle name. First name George.

- Olu Famutimi: short for Olumuyiwa.

- Marcus Fizer: Marcus is but one of his middle names. First name Darnell.

- T.J. Ford: T.J. is short for Terrance Jerod.

- Reece Gaines: Reece is his middle name. First name Clifton.

- J.R. Giddens: full name Justin Ray Giddens.

- C.J. Giles: C.J. is short for Chester Jarell.

- Tony Gipson: full name is Nicholas Antonio Gipson, which can make him hard to find in Europe.

- Dion Glover: real name is Micaiah Diondae Glover. It would appear that he's not overwhelmed by the idea of having the most unique name in the world.

- Venson Hamilton: Venson is his middle name. Real first name is Shad.

- Tyler Hansbrough: Tyler is his middle name. First name Andrew.

- Penny Hardaway: first name is Anfernee [sic]. You probably know that one already.

- Junior Harrington: first name is Lorinza. Unsurprisingly, he's a junior, hence the name.

- Lucious Harris: Lucious is his name all right, but the internet seems to suggest that, in Harry S Truman fashion, his middle name is merely "H." Maybe. Like the gay one from Steps. (Note: this is probably not the case, but it would be better if it was.)

- Chuck Hayes: as you'd expect, his name is Charles.

- Gerald Henderson: real name is Jerome McKinley Henderson, same as his dad's. Both of them go by Gerald for reasons I don't know.

- Richard Hendrix: first name is Venard, like his dad. Richard is his middle name.

- J.J. Hickson: stands for James Jr.

- Othello Hunter: Othello is his middle name. His first name is Tegba. He may well be the only man in the world with that combination.

- D.J. Mbenga: his full name is Didier Ilunga-Mbenga. "DJ" comes from what "Didier" sounds like when you say it in his accent, and he normally goes without the Ilunga because we haven't got all day.

- Ken Johnson: short for Kenyata, not Kenneth.

- Trey Johnson: real name is Clinton Johnson III. Nickname presumably comes from him being a third.

- DeAndre Jordan: DeAndre is his middle name. First name Hyland.

- Sasha Kaun: Sasha is short for Alexander.

- Tre' Kelley: real name is Alfrie. Since he's not a third, Tre' is presumably from his three point shooting. The apostrophe would appear to be his unnecessary unique slant on it.

- Kosta Koufos: Kosta is short for Konstantine.

- Keith Langford: Keith is his middle name. First name Andre.

- Tito Maddox: For those unaware, Tito is a reasonably common abbreviation of Theodore, Maddox's first name.

- Damir Markota: used to go by the surname Omerhodžić, but changed to Markota (his mother's maiden name) in 2004.

- Chet Mason: Chet is short for Chester, which you probably already knew.

- O.J. Mayo: O.J. stands for Ovinton J'Anthony. It would appear that he, too, is not sold on the idea of having the most unique name in the world.

- Scooter McFadgon: Scooter is a nickname. First name Cornelius. Brilliant.

- Pops Mensah-Bonsu: Full name is Nana Papa Yaw Mensah-Bonsu.

- C.J. Miles: Full name is Calvin Andrew Miles Jr, hence the C.J. (Calvin Junior).

- Mikki Moore: Real name is Clinton. Nickname comes from the fact that he was fat as a child (if you can believe that), and so he was so called after the fat kid, Little Mikey, from the Life Cereal commericals.

- B.J. Mullens: Can't seem to find out what the B.J. stands for. Can't seem to find out his birthday, either. He's an elusive little soul isn't he?

- Gabe Muoneke: Full name is Nnadubem Gabriel Enyinaya Muoneke. Gabriel abbreviates easier than Nnadubem does.

- Dikembe Mutombo: Full name is Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo.

- Nene: His name used to be Maybyner Hilario, but he went by the nickname "Nene", which meant "baby". Usually went by Nene Hilario in America. Eventually changed his name legally to just Nene.

- Moochie Norris: his name is Martyn. When he was a baby, his grandfather used to sing the Cab Calloway song "Minnie the Moocher" to him, his favourite song. It stuck.

- A.J. Ogilvy: A.J. stands for Andrew James.

- Emeka Okafor: full name is Chukwuemeka Ndubuisi Okafor.

- Bo Outlaw: real name is Charles. His mother nicknamed him Bo when he was little, but he doesn't know why.

- Zaza Pachulia: Zaza is a nickname. Real name Zaur.

- Smush Parker: Smush is a nickname, and it was also his dad's nickname. Don't know what it represents. Real name William.

- Tony Parker: Antonio is his middle name. First name is William.

- Sasha Pavlovic: As ever, Sasha is a nickname for Alexander (or, in this case, Aleksandar.)

- J.R. Pinnock: real name Danilo. The J.R. represents Junior, for he is a Junior, and he got bored of people who couldn't pronounce Danilo calling him "Danny". Tends to go by either or both names, depending on where you're looking.

- Carlos Powell: Name is really Ricardo Auturo Powell. Don't know where Carlos comes from.

- A.J. Price: A.J. stands for Anthony Jordan. His mum says that he wanted to name him after the two best basketball players ever, namely Michael Jordan and A.J.'s dad, Anthony Price. Hmmm. Think she might have missed out on a couple of candidates.

- Laron Profit: Laron is his middle name. First name Bronta. Not Loadsa, like it should be. Nor Maida. Or Turner. Or any other potential Profit pun.

- Shavlik Randolph: Shavlik is his middle name. First name Ronald.

- Theo Ratliff: Theo is short for Theophilius. Seemingly his parents chose to give him a name which allows for two possible shortening options. Pretty thoughtful.

- J.J. Redick: Full name is Jonathan Clay Redick. Was nicknamed "J" as a child, but he has twin sisters, and so when they both called him, it sounded like "J.J.", which then stuck. Luckily, they ended it there.

- J.R. Reynolds: Full name is James Richard Reynolds.

- Norm Richardson: Norm[an] is his middle name. First name Charles.

- Cheikh Samb: his often confusing name is, in full, Samb Cheikh Tidiane.

- Saer Sene: if you still call him this, it's time to change - his name is Mouhamed. Saer is his middle name, but he doesn't use it.

- Mustafa Shakur: Mustafa is in fact short for Mustafadden. He may just be the only person in the world with that name. Neither Google nor Facebook returns another.

- Tre Simmons: Real name Chester. Tre comes from the fact that he's Chester Simmons III.

- J.R. Smith: Real name Earl Smith III, suggesting once again that "J.R." is used to mean "Junior".

- Salim Stoudamire: Salim is his middle name. First name Charles.

- Amare Stoudemire: name is correctly spelt "Amar'e", but he didn't tell us this for six years. By this stage, I can't be arsed with it.

- D.J. Strawberry: stands for "Darryl Junior". Done so with (presumably) less affection than others who embrace their junior title, for they don't get on.

- Erick Strickland: short for "Demerick".

- Donell Taylor: him and his identical twin brother Ronell both go by their middle names, because they have the same first name - "Quence". Seems like an odd way of going about it.

- Hasheem Thabeet: his surname is Manka, but, after his father died, his took his middle name (and father's middle name) of "Thabit" and used that instead. But more phonetically typed.

- Etan Thomas: Etan is his middle name. First name Dedreck.

- P.J. Tucker: Full name Anthony Leon Tucker. P.J. stands for Pops Junior, becuase (you guessed it) he's a junior.

- Hedo Turkoglu: in the event that you didn't know, Hedo is short for Hidayet.

- Jake Voskuhl: Jacob is his middle name. First name Robert.

- Sasha Vujacic: see Pavlovic.

- Von Wafer: "Von" is an abridging of "Vakeaton," which is....a hell of a name.

- Judson Wallace: full name is Charles Judson Wallace. Seems to be called Judson by the NBA in every single instance, despite their own bio of him saying that he prefers C.J.. Often goes by Charles in European media, where they're very devoted to first names only. They even call Carlos Powell, Ricardo.

- C.J. Watson: full name is Charles Akeen Watson. And yes, he's a junior.

- Chris Webber: Christopher is one of his middle names. First name Mayce. He's a junior, but turned down MJ. Perhaps best.

- Sonny Weems: Real name Clarence Weems. He doesn't know why he's stuck with it, but it used to be his fathers nickname too.

- Bonzi Wells: Real name is Gawen DeAngelo Wells. His mum had cravings for Bonbons when pregnant with him, so his parents started calling him that, which eventually corrupted into Bonzi.

- D.J. White: Dewayne Junior.

That's all I got.


BIG NEWS: This website is, sort of, now on Twitter. All those basketball thoughts that I just couldn't be arsed to otherwise post can now be found here. Along with a lot of other pap.

Joey Dorsey loses a game that he wasn't in

Down one in the closing stages of a summer league game, new Wizards guard Dee Brown fouls Uruguay's finest, the insatiable Gustavo Barrera, sending him to the line. Barrera hits both foul shots, putting Houston up by 3.

Rockets forward Joey Dorsey - watching the game from the sidelines due to an ankle injury - briefly breaks away from his spontaneous "Who Can Wear The Worst Stripey Polo Shirt" competition with Rafer Alston, and decides to say something. The ref decides to T him up, demonstrating the elaborate technical foul calling technique that NBA scouts want to see from potenital refs. Dorsey sulks. Nick Young hits the technical free throw, and the Wizards have the ball, down two.

Andray Blatche, who has battled bravely against the desire to pass for a number of years now, throws up a tub of wank three pointer. It misses, but Brown tips it back in, and the game goes to overtime. The Wizards go on to win, and the Rockets don't. Joey Dorsey loses not only a game he wasn't in, but also the polo shirt competition, as he has no answer for Rafer's daring usage of deep red and sky blue on an otherwise predominantly white top.

(Also notice - Vladimir Veremeenko. Hooray! If these games are downloadable anywhere, then I need to know. Can't do streams, though.)


Here's what I know about Joey Dorsey - he's an idiot. Someone once told me that he's the next Ben Wallace, which re-affirms my belief on this. (And no, I'm not at all bitter about the spectacularly unsuccessful Ben Wallace signing and the collateral damage that it caused. Nope. Not at all. Totally over it.) Admittedly I don't know much about Joey Dorsey - when he made headlines for "announcing" that his college team mate Derrick Rose was not going to be drafted number 1 by Chicago in a hilarious wind-up that everyone found hilarious, it took me two weeks to find out that Joey Dorsey was a player, and not an opportunist reporter. But still. I know he's a bit of an idiot. Wikipedia agrees.

During the 2007 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament, Dorsey famously called Ohio State center Greg Oden "overrated as a big man," said that Oden "might be as good as Joey Dorsey," and called himself Goliath and Oden the "the little man." Dorsey also predicted a 20 rebound game for himself. The Buckeyes defeated the Tigers by a score of 92-76 and Dorsey finished with zero points and just four rebounds. In fact, Dorsey was so overmatched during the game that he was not able to even attempt a field goal in the 19 minutes he was on the court. As terrible as he was on the offensive end, he was as bad or worse on the defensive end. Dorsey's defensive duty was to guard Oden. Oden shot 7 for 8 from the field for 17 points and also grabbed 9 rebounds.

And now this.

The evidenced is really piling up. Joey Dorsey = a mouthy git. A bit like Stephen Jackson.