Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 4

For what it's worth, the Marko Jaric buyout was completed very quietly on Christmas Eve, and he's now a fully fledged member of Real Madrid. He put up 12/8/5 on debut, playing 41 minutes. In a 40 minute game. Not bad.

(There was overtime.)


- Brandon Armstrong

Remember Brandon Armstrong? So do I, just about. He was a great pickup in NBA Live 2004. Armstrong is from Pepperdine, and left school as its 21st all time leading scorer after playing only two years there. In his final season, he averaged 22.1 points and 1.6 assists per game, which kind of hints at his style of play. He was drafted by the Rockets with the 23rd pick in the 2001 draft, and then was the "other guy" traded along with Jason Collins and Richard Jefferson to the Nets in exchange for Eddie Griffin. (The more hindsight you use, the more terrible of a trade that looks. RIP Eddie.)

Armstrong played three years with the Nets.......or rather, he didn't play three years with the Nets. Armstrong was on the roster for three years, but spent most of that time on the injured list with pseudo injuries (unless of course he really did have four lower back strains in five months). He played in only 108 games and 699 minutes in those three seasons, totalling 239 points on 280 shots with 24 total assists, a true shooting percentage of .404%, and a PER of 4.9. He signed with the Warriors for training camp in 2004, but did not make the team, and has never come back to the NBA.

He's not very well known any more, as evidenced by a quick Google of his name, which reveals the second hit of "Brandon Armstrong - murder victim." This is another Brandon Armstrong; the Brandon Armstrong of New Jersey Nets and Pepperdine University fame is, as far as I know, not dead. He also doesn't appear to playing anywhere at the moment; he split last year between the Ukraine and Venezuela, but has been out of the game since then.

Brandon Armstrong fact: the power forward on his high school team was C.C. Sabathia.

Another Brandon Armstrong fact: Brandon Armstrong's middle name is "Simone." Point and laugh at him for this.

Here's Brandon Armstrong posing, in a picture from his Facebook account.





- Omer Asik

Bulls draft pick Asik is still with Fenerbahce, and this year he's not got a torn knee ligament. On the season he's averaging 8.9 points, 6.0 rebounds and 1.4 blocks per game in the Euroleague, alongside 10.8 points, 6.2 rebounds and 1.6 blocks in the Turkish league. His free throw stroke is still pretty biblically terrible, however; Asik is shooting 36% from there in the Euroleague and 43% in the Turkish league (and even that's only salvaged by the 6-6 performance in his last game; he started 8 for 31). But apart from that tiny flaw, he's producing.

The general rule is that if you can perform in the Euroleague, you can perform in the NBA. But to do that, Asik will have to stop getting injured. He's out for at least another six weeks now after fracturing his collarbone during a game on December 14th. Considering that he's missed much of the last two seasons with knee injuries, this does not bode well.



- Stacey Augmon

Augmon last played in the NBA in the 2005-06 season, when he played 36 games rather badly for the Orlando Magic. It was his second year with the team, and, given that his middle name is Orlando, it seemed quite apt. He then spent a year out of the game before randomly signing with the Nuggets in training camp 2007. About that signing, Nuggets coach George Karl said:

"I wouldn't waste Stacey's time if I didn't think there was a chance of him making our team."

Yet about Brad Stricker, whom also signed for the Nuggets in 2007 training camp, Karl said:

"He's got as much of a chance as Bret Bearup."

Point taken.

A month after not making the Nuggets team, Augmon became a player development coach for them. He's still there.



- James Augustine

James Augustine was in summer league this year with both the Jazz and the Bulls. He played well for both, yet he stayed on in Spain to play a second season with Gran Canaria. Augustine is averaging 9.0 points and 8.5 rebounds in 23 minutes per game in the Eurocup, alongside 7.5 points and 6.4 rebounds per game in the ACB. The slight downside is that he's shooting less than 1 free throw a game.

Gran Canaria have only one Spanish player in their rotation. Going from most to least minutes in the ACB their roster reads Jaycee Carroll (American), Sitapha Savane (has a Spanish passport due to residency but is Senegalese), Augustine (American), Marcus Norris (American and Croatian), Jim Moran (American and Irish), Melvin Sanders (American and Georgian), Will McDonald (American), Josh Fisher (has a Spanish passport due to residency but is American), Tomas Bellas (actually Spanish!) and Daniel Kickert (Australian and Dutch). Even their deep bench has foreigners; Ryan Richards is English, born and raised in the eternally average place of Sittingbourne in Kent, and Ewoud Kloos is Dutch. Gran Canaria have played 15 games so far, which means there have been 3,000 minutes of playing time up for grabs, yet true Spaniards have filled only 242 of them. And 229 of those were for Bellas.

All those dual passports and nationalisations allow Gran Canaria to play within the rules. But they're hardly keeping to the spirit of them.



- Mario Austin

Austin, the Bulls' other unsigned draft pick, is also in Spain. He signed with Lucentum Alicante in the ACB this summer after splitting last year between Turkey and China. His transformation from post-up threat to perennial jumpshooter is almost complete; on the season he averages 11.6 points, 4.0 rebounds, 0.1 blocks and 21.8 minutes, all while shooting more three pointers than free throws.

At various times during the six years since he was drafted, Bulls fans have wondered if Austin could be an option to help them out with some post-up offense. The answer would appear to be no, not any more. He never could defend, he never would box out, and now he doesn't even score much inside either. He still produces pretty well, but not in a style that suits any NBA aspirations. If you want Mario Austin, you might as well have Anthony Tolliver.



- Ryan Ayers

Ayers played last year for Notre Dame, where he was awesomely average. At 6'7, Ayers had good size for a wing player, and he was also athletic. He also had a pretty sweet jumpshot out to three point range, and could defend. Yet all he did was take jumpshots; there was no desire to put the ball on the floor, nor any success when he did. You have to love role players like that.

After going undrafted, Ayers went to the Wizards for summer league, but didn't make it through the tryout phase. He reappeared in the D-League, allocated to the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, for whom he has started 10 of 13 games. Not much has changed in his style of play; Ayers averages 7.8 points, 2.8 rebounds, 0.9 assists, 1.2 steals and 0.5 blocks in 26 minutes per game, shooting 44% from the field, 44% from three point range and 100% from the line. He has taken 41 three pointers in 13 games compared to 6 foul shots. He does what he does, and that's why I like him.



- Larry Ayuso

The Puerto Rican league runs in the summer time, during almost every other league's offseasons. It's for that reason that they're able to get so much talent there. Ayuso, a Puerto Rican native, played in the Puerto Rican league last summer with Cangrejeros de Santurce, averaging a very Brandon Armstrong-like 21.4 points and 1.6 assists. And even though the Puerto Rican league doesn't start for ages, Ayuso has already signed there once more, moving to the Capitanes de Arecibo. This is because Arecibo are (or were) in the Liga Americas, the 16 team cross-continental club tournament for all countries South American and Latinish. Arecibo went 1-2 in their three group games last month, failing to qualify. Ayuso averaged 11.7 points along the way.



- Malick Badiane

Malick Badiane was in the D-League last year with the Anaheim Arsenal. He averaged 4.9 points, 5.4 rebounds, 2.0 fouls and 0.4 blocks per game. However, the Anaheim Arse no longer exist, and nor does Malick Badiane's D-League career. He has moved from there to the relative lowlights of the French second division, signing with Nanterre on December 15th. Badiane has not yet played a game for the team, as their December 19th game was postponed until January 12th.

Drafted by the Rockets way back in 2003, and thrown in in a trade to the Grizzlies in 2008, Badiane was drafted while incredibly young based on his combination of size, athleticism and defensive instincts. But it hasn't worked out.



- Dalibor Bagaric

Having Bulls draft picks featured so prominently in this post is a coincidence, but when it involves Dalibor Bagaric, it's a happy one. The now-29 year old Bagaric was said to have signed a guaranteed contract with the Hawks last summer, but he didn't. Instead, he returned to Bologna and barely played all year. This summer, Dali returned to his native Croatia when he signed with Cibona Zagreb, but this hasn't resulted in much of an increase in PT. In four Euroleague games, Bagaric is averaging 2.8 points, 3.5 rebounds and 1.3 fouls; in eight Adriatic League games, that rises only to 3.6 pointsm 4.3 rebounds and 2.0 fouls.

I don't know how many flagrants he's committed, but I'd like to.

Drove past one of these lorries the other day. I laughed.






- Kyle Bailey

Santa Clara's Bailey is entering his fourth season in Germany, and his first with Ludwigsburg. In 30 mpg of 17 games, Bailey is averaging 9.0 points, 4.1 rebounds and 2.6 assists per game, but is shooting only 9-49 (18%) from three point range.

Here's a video of some of those points. He's #11 in yellow.

In accordance with prophecy, Ludwigsburg have a rotation featuring eight Americans and only one German. That one German is called David McCray, It's not THE most German name in the world, is it?



- Vin Baker

Baker was mentioned in the 1993 draft roundup from only last month. I didn't have much to say, though. Here it is again.

Vin Baker was still playing up to and including last season. The NBA fell by the wayside back in 2006 when he was released by the Timberwolves after the first six games of the season, but he's signed elsewhere twice since then, both last season. Baker signed with Liaoning in China last November, and then signed with Marinos in Venezuela this June.

Both times, he was released without playing a game due to being out of shape.

Maker's non-basketball life hasn't been going too well, either. In June 2007, the recovering alcoholic was arrested for drink driving after leaving a casino. (He later pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of reckless driving.) In February 2008, his seafood restaurant was foreclosed after racking up roughly $900,000 in unpaid loans. And in June 2008, his home was also foreclosed.

He hasn't been in the headlines for a while, and as they say, no news is good news. So it would be great if he's rectified his problems and straightened out his affairs. But given that the last time we heard from him was when he was deemed to be an unfit replacement for Horacio Llamas......well. That's worrisome.

This hasn't changed.



- Maurice Baker

Veteran Baker joined the Dakota Wizards in 2006, and played three full years there. It's unusual for someone to stay in the D-League that long, because it doesn't pay very well. And it's also very unusual for a man of that age to be there that long. But Baker did it anyway, and only this summer did he leave, signing in Cyprus for AEK Limassol alongside fellow D-Leaguer Trent Strickland. However, Baker spent barely any time at all in Cyprus, returning to the D-League as as one of the Wizards' returning players. Now into his fourth season there, Baker is averaging 12.7 points, 4.3 rebounds, 4.3 assists and 2.2 steals per game, shooting 49% from the field and 43% from three point range.

Cypresian statistics are basically impossible to find. But if Google translate is right, Baker scored 9 points in 2 games. Don't know about the rest.

Cypresian is not a word, by the way.

Summer league round-up: Utah Jazz

All right! Only three weeks late!

View the Jazz summer league roster.

- James Augustine: Augustine was covered in the Bulls round-up from bloody ages ago. He played well for both teams and definitely re-established himself. But neither team has room for him next year.

- Jimmy Baron: Jay Bilas lookalike Baron just played four years at Rhode Island, where his coach was his dad. I've always wondered why players think this is a good thing, but anyhoo. Baron set the school record for made three pointers in a season in his sophomore season, then broke it in his junior season, then broke it again in his senior season. He made 118 of those bad boys last year in only 34 games. So you get the idea of how he plays. 6'3 shooting specialists have to have something extra to make the NBA, and Baron doesn't, but no matter; he has already signed for Mersin in Turkey next season, presumably as Chris Lofton's replacement.

- Cedric Bozeman: I'm a big fan of Cedric Bozeman and I don't know why. As such, it buoyed me to see him play well last year, to the tune of 19.4 points, 6.7 rebounds and 4.3 assists per game. Even the jumpshot is getting there, shooting 35% from three point range last season. This encourages me. Here's hoping he's doing enough for one more go-around.

- Derrick Brown: Brown is a second round draft pick of the Bobcats who has signed with the team for two years, who played on the Jazz summer league team because his own team was too cheap to run one. Typically, he led the team in scoring, which probably makes the Jazz feel a little weird about their hospitality. Especially since their own second round draft pick this year, Goran Suton, played pretty badly.

- Josh Duncan: Duncan barely played last year, going to France briefly to play for the very bad Pau Orthez but suffering an injury and playing in only 18 games. He had a pretty crazy summer league for the Jazz, shooting 72% from the field, 78% from three point range and 73% from the foul line, but grabbing only 2.2 rebounds per game and fouling 20 times in 83 minutes. Either way, it's irrelevant, as he has already signed with Belgacom Liege for next year. You can guess which country they play in.

- Andre Ingram: Ingram is not good enough to be here. He had three decent but not great seasons at American University - not a big program - and one shocking season. Since then, he's spent two years in the D-League, averaging 6.1 points per game in his first season, and 10.0 points/3.3 rebounds in his second year. The only reason he's here is because the D-League team that he was with was the Utah Flash.

- Kosta Koufos: It may have been a good idea for Koufos to leave Ohio State after one year, or it may not. But considering that he was a first round pick, and ended up being a useful contributor on a playoff calibre team at the tender age of 19, he can't feel too bad about it.

- Kevin Kruger: Kruger started last year with Lukoil Akademik in Bulgaria, a team sponsored by a trainee petrol pump attendant's night school. He averaged 12.0 points and 7.5 assists in two games, before being released when the team was knocked out of the Eurocup and waived all its American players. Kruger then returned to America, and joined the D-League with the Utah Flash (NOW it makes sense). He averaged 13.0 points, 2.7 rebounds and 4.8 assists per game, and led the D-League with a 51% three point shooting percentage. But, as is the case with all 26 year olds in summer league, I am obliged to tell you that he is 26 years old. It counts for something, whether we want it to or not.

- Kevin Lyde: This is the third straight season that Kevin Lyde has appeared on the Jazz summer league roster. I have no idea what they see in him. Last year, he even got a training camp roster and the opportunity to play in some preseason games. At least they've finally started getting his measurements vaguely closer to the truth, changing his originally listed 6'10 260lbs to a more apt 6'9 294lbs. Dude's got some podge, you may have noticed.

- Wesley Matthews: See this.

- Eric Maynor: I'm not sure how, but a VCU game just came on my telly. And I'm all love Eric Maynor. I love me some floaters, despite the statistically proven inefficiency of the shot. I'm also REALLY all over Larry Sanders, who has it all. The athleticism, the length, the name, everything.

- Goran Suton: If I was court ordered to give a comparison for Goran Suton, I'd probably choose Paul Davis. Such a court order would be frivolous and wasteful, but if it happened, that's where I'd take it. And yes, the facts that they're both white and from Michigan State factor in heavily.

- Dar Tucker: Tucker's first name is short for Darquavis, and not Darth as you may have hoped. He just left DePaul early, a decision which might not have been a great idea. DePaul sucked last year pretty damn badly, but so did Tucker. He took 6.4 three point shots per game, and shot only 28% from out there. He scored big (18.5 points per game), but they came on a piss poor true shooting percentage of 49%. And since he's a one dimension scorer, you can see the problems with this. Stay in school and wait for backup, or transfer to somewhere that might help you more, but don't declare after a bad year like that. There's really no point.

- The People's Champion Larry Turner: Turner is a 26 year old big man who sucked at Oklahoma, transferred to Tennessee State, and sucked there as well. Amazingly, he got a summer league spot in 2007 with the Lakers, which even more amazingly led to a training camp spot. But the normality kicked in and he was waived. Since then, he's played 47 games in the D-League, played in some NBA minicamps, played in the Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Korea and the PBL. I only have numbers for the D-League stint in 2007-8 = 7.8ppg, 6.5rpg, 1.1bpg, 49.2% FG 54.8% FT. Woop. His summer league numbers were even better - 27% shooting, 18 fouls and 10 turnovers in 63 minutes. Oh yes, you want that. You want that all over your face.

- Gary Wilkinson: Wilkinson's story is unconventional. Last year, he took Utah State to the NCAA tournament, averaging 17.1 points and 6.8 rebounds, on the efficient numbers of 58%/31%/83%. Not bad at all from a 6'10 big man. However, he's also 26. And the reason he was 26 years old and in college was because he spent a lot of time not doing much. Wilkinson didn't play high school basketball because he fell out with the coach, who kicked him off the team for his bad attitude. Wilkinson then left high school before graduating, and spent time kicking about aimless, drinking, partying, and doing drugs. Then he found Jesus, straightened himself out, and went on a two year mission to Canada. He came back, put in two years at Salt Lake Community College, and then went to Utah State for two years, where the story culminated with the NCAA Tournament birth and now Wilkinson's pity spot on the Jazz summer league team. It's a lovely story. But he's not Josh Hamilton.

Summer league round-up: Chicago Bulls

View the Bulls summer league roster.

- James Augustine: Something weird happened to James Augustine last year, something which took me a while to figure out. He was drafted by the Magic in the 2006 draft, and signed a two year rookie minimum contract with the team. He stayed with the team for the whole two years, barely playing, and was then tendered a qualifying offer when the two years was up. The second year of his first contract was only 25% guaranteed until July 30th, and the rule with qualifying offers is that they have to be at least the same amount of guaranteed money and the same guarantee dates as the final season of the previous contract. So when Orlando tendered him a qualifying offer, Augustine accepted it immediately, and was thus under contract for the 2008/09 season for $972,581 (the amount of the QO = minimum salary + $175,000), of which $243,145 (25%) was guaranteed, witha guarantee date of July 30th 2008. Orlando waived him before that date, meaning that they essentially paid Augustine a quarter of a million dollars to have him under contract for two weeks in mid-July. Way to do that "creative financing" thing that you do, Otis Smith.

Augustine then buggered off to Spain, where he averaged 7.7 points and 6.1 rebounds in the Spanish league for Gran Canaria. Which isn't great.

- Tyrell Biggs: I saw a lot of Biggs in Pittsburgh last year, and it's tough to say what he was good at. He had a decent set shot, but little interior offense, no finesse, and a bad rebounding rate. He was a decent defensive player, fairly aggressive and physical, but he's also 6'8 and not of NBA size, so his NBA chances don't really exist. However, I wrote all this in a piece last week, and someone responded by telling that I "didn't know anything" and that I should "just shut up," for I did not acknowledge Biggs' magnanimous and gallant willingness to sacrifice all personal goals for the overall benefit of the team, something which he supposedly did by being a role player for four straight years. Or something like that. I guess one of us is right, at least.

- Brandon Costner: I watched Costner play one game last year. This is what I wrote about him:

Brandon Costner never seemed to know what he was doing, disappearing for long stretches, and then trying to force his way back into the action with some poor shots.

That can't be good. Costner averaged 13.3 points, 6.0 rebounds and 1.0 blocks in 29 minutes per game for NC State last season, which isn't that great and which isn't nearly as good as what his 17/7 sophomore year suggested he might become.

- Chris Davis: Davis averaged 14.8ppg, 4.3rpg and 3.1apg for Southern University last season. He shot 41% from the field. He's not making the team. Let's move on.

- Taj Gibson: Gibson will make the team, no doubt, but he's going to have to play bloody well to win over Bulls fans, who remain bitterly pissed off at him for not being Dejuan Blair. (And if you've read my draft diary, you'll know that I'm one of them. I'll back off of this stance soon, though.) If he can show some offensive skill, some pick and roll defense, and the ability and/or desire to rebound, then we will begin to cope accordingly.

- Taurean Green: Green spent one year in the NBA, splitting the 2007/08 season between Portland (the team that drafted him) and Denver (who traded him for Von Wafer to save some money at the deadline). Denver traded him to New York last summer as a part of the Renaldo Balkman deal, but New York wanted him only for his salary and he was waived instantly. Green then spent last year in Spain playing for CAI Zaragoza, averaging 10.7 points and 2.0 assists functioning largely as a specialist shooter. The Bulls could use a specialist shooter, which gives Green a chance, but they also already have Anthony Roberson, which might piss on Green's strawberries.

- Julius Hodge: Hodge was playing like LeBron James in Australia last season, averaging 26.3ppg, 8.0rpg and 6.0apg for the Adelaide 36ers, before leaving the team due to a pay dispute. That was his version of events, at least; his team doesn't necessarily agree. Although given Australian basketball's current problems with solvency, I tend to believe him. Either way, it ended acrimoniously, and Hodge closed out the year in France, averaging 12.4ppg, 5.7rpg and 6.1apg for Besancon in France. His shot is still completely broke, though - he hit only two three pointers combined in the Australian and French leagues (who employ the shorter three point line, remember), and was also a combined 55% shooter from the free throw line between the two. This probably keeps him out of the NBA once again.

- James Johnson: He's a power forward that's not Tyrus Thomas or Taj Gibson, so I like him already.

- Linton Johnson: Johnson was a signing for the Bulls late last season as some emergency playoff depth, and played a few minutes decently. He started his career with the Bulls, and was way less cringeworthy with us this time around than last time, so that was nice. However, he doesn't have much chance of coming back to the team - Luol Deng's return from injury, as well as the draftings of Johnson and Gibson, just took any potential minutes that the old Lintonian could have had.

- Nick Lewis: Lewis has been a professional for three years, and has spent at least parts of all three of them in the D-League. Last year, for the Bakersfield Jam, he averaed 15.0 points and 7.2 rebounds, while shooting 48% from the field, 38% from the three point line and 83% from the foul line. He also has a nice full head of blonde hair. If he could play any defense, he might have had a shot in the NBA before now. But he can't. So he hasn't.

- Lorenzo Mata-Real: Mata-Real played on the Lakers' summer league team last year, as did about 48 other people, where he challenged Ruben Wolkowyski for the "worst player I've ever seen" award. Mata-Real averaged more rebounds than points in two of his three seasons in college, not a good thing when you consider that he only averaged 4 rebounds. In Mexico last year, Mata-Real averaged all of 9.0 points and 5.3 rebounds, and remember that that was in the crappy Mexican league. He's a 6'8 interior player to boot. Where's the NBA resumé here?

- Bryan Mullins: Mullins, a good defensive guard with a jumpshot, was briefly covered in the Celtics round-up. Then again, I didn't really say anything there either.

- DeMarcus Nelson: Nelson has an unguaranteed contract with the Bulls next season, even though he didn't play in a single game with them last season. He was brought in at the very end of the year as defensive cover at the shooting guard position in case of emergencies, but wasn't needed. The Bulls are supposedly renewing their focus on defensive abilities with their personnel this season, and could as always use a bigger defensive minded guard. So Nelson has a chance of making the team again, unless his lack of offensive talent is deemed too painful on a team that was never great at offense in the first place just let its leading scorer for the last four years walk away in free agency. (It still stings a bit, this. Although I wouldn't have paid him $11.6 million a year either.)

- Anthony Roberson: I fleshed out Roberson's chances of making the roster in this Chicagonow.com piece. And remember; you can catch all Bulls news and views, including Anthony Roberson goodness, at chicagonow.com. Go go go go go! (Seriously, though, go. If you do, I'll get paid.)

- Josh Shipp: Shipp just finished his fifth season at UCLA, getting a medical redshirt in 2005/06 due to a bad hip injury. In his senior season, he averaged 14.5ppg on 50% shooting, which is pretty damn good from a shooting guard. Despite having not seen him (I have UCLA games that I keep meaning to watch), everyone tells me he should have been drafted. So that's nice for us, I think.

- A.D. Vassallo: Consdiering that the Bulls need shooters (see the Roberson link), Vassallo has a chance. Vassallo averaged 19.1 points, 6.2 rebounds and 2.6 assists in his senior season for Virginia Tech, shooting 45% from the field, 37% from three point range and 83% from the line. His major assets are his good size and strength, and a jumpshot that has legitimate NBA three point range. Since leaving school, Vassallo has been back in his native Puerto Rico, averaging 2.5 points, 6.7 rebounds and 4.3 assists for Caguas in the Puerto Rican BSN league (which takes place during most other league's offseasons). If he was 6'8 he'd probably in the league, and if he was as fast as John Salmons he'd probably in the league. But he's neither of those, so he's not in the league. Europe will love him, though.

- Luke Zeller: Zeller did largely Fanny Adams at four years in Notre Dame, rebounding badly, playing little defense, and being a specialist jumpshooter. He turned a fine high school career (he was formerly Indiana's Mr Basketball) into an underwhelming college career; Zeller averaged 4.9 points and 2.8 rebounds in his senior season, both of which were career highs. He worked out for the Bulls before the draft, albeit only because Gonzaga's Josh Heytvelt missed a flight, yet went undrafted anyway. Zeller's NBA prospects are even slimmer his left leg. His best chance in the NBA seems to be if some team out there gets confused and thinks that his first name is spelt with a "Tyler" (his superior younger brother currently at North Carolina). Or if his last name is spelt with a "Schenscher".

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 3

Continuing that list of stuff that you like.

- Rafael Araujo is sadly out of basketball right now. He's unsigned. He's unwanted. He's unloved. Commitment-free. Homeless. A nomadic vagabond living off the land and fashioning rudimentary hyperdermic needles using only his opposable thumbs and his chemically-enhanced upper body strength. But this is just one tale to tell. There are thousands of children like this all over BYU. Please. End poverty now. Give generously.

- Robert Archibald is currently playing for Unicaja Malaga in Spain, after turning down a contract from the Hornets this summer. He is still not bald. (I went on holiday to Malaga only recently, and didn't see Robert Archibald there. Shame. I looked hard and everything.) Archibald averages 7.1 point and 4.0 rebounds on a pretty stacked, for those who still care. By the way, while looking this up, I found out about Neil Fingleton, a former UNC and Holy Cross player and one time McDonald's All American. After a brief playing career career in Europe, the ABA and the D-League, Fingleton has since given up playing basketball due to injuries, and is now an aspiring actor. He was also recently awarded the seminal title of UK's Tallest Man, which is good news I suppose. But it begs the question; the previous holder of that record - a man named Christopher Greener - had been dining out on that fame for 40 years. What the hell is he going to do now? Who the hell remembers who comes second? Where's the TV work going to come from? He'll be jobless, he'll be penniless, he'll be a waste of height. He'll be unsigned. He'll be unwanted. He'll be unloved. Commitment-free. Homeless. A nomadic vagabond living off the land. Et cetera.

- Koko Archibong is not a nomadic vagabond living off the land, as he has procured a plum position with the pre-eminent Polish powerhouse, Prokom. (Sorry, I'm really immature today. I tend to binge.) Archibong averages 6.6 points per game, good enough (if that's the right phrasing) for eighth on the team. To find out about some of his team mates, keep reading these posts until we get to the Bu-'s.

- Darrell Armstrong is unsigned, but recently attended the Suns' point guard mini-camp, where he and many other hopefuls vied for Phoenix's compulsory 13th man role. He lost.

- Brandon Armstrong is playing for Budivelnik in the Ukraine. No, me neither. Armstrong hasn't played since November - which may or may not be injury related, I don't know - and averaged only 14.2 minutes and 6.5 points per game when he did.

- Carlos Arroyo signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv this summer, as a part of the mass European migration that wasn't. Arroyo averages 13.7 points, 3.3 rebounds and 4.4 assists, and rumours (perhaps unsubstantiated) abound about a return to the Magic.

- The Bulls gave up two second round picks to move up a mere three spots in this year's second round, which is an extremely committed and kind of bizarre thing to do. They did this it get their hands on the rights to Omer Asik, whom clearly they rate extremely highly. Asik then instantly repaid the Bulls' faith in him by tearing his knee ligament, and he hasn't played all season as a result. Nonetheless, Asik has spent some time in the Bulls' practices this season, clearly eager to get an early taste of their poisonous chemistry and inability to utilise young big men.

- Stacey Augmon jacked it all in (not off) and is now a Denver Nuggets assistant coach.

- James Augustine averages 8.2 points, 5.0 rebounds, 1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks per game for Gran Canaria in Spain. By the way, way back in the boom boom selection days, I asked for information and/or your theories as to how Augustine managed to be re-signed and waived by the Magic in the same July, in an act so weird that I can't think of a single other time that it's happened. I've since gotten that info, and it's no less weird - Orlando tendered Augustine a qualifying offer of $972,581 in an act of fairly standard practice, and Augustine unusually accepted it almost immediately. Of note, though, is the rule with qualifying offers which states that they have to have a level of guarantee that is, at a minimum, identical to the previous season's salary. Augustine's 2007/08 salary called for a minimum salary of $687,456, but with only 25% guaranteed if he was waived on or before the 30th of July 2007. Therefore, the qualifying offer had to have a similar level of guarantee, and so the qualifying offer that Augustine accepted was 25% guaranteed until July 30th 2008. So those three weeks that Augutine spent with the Magic this season, in which he didn't play a single game, cost the tax-tight Magic a significant $243,145, and would have been more if they haven't waived him when they did. A congratulations, therefore, go to Augustine's vigilant agent, who got his client a decent paycheck without him having to actually do anything and still having the opportunity to land a pretty plush European gig as well. Similarly, condolences go to Orlando General Manager, Otis Smith, who in hindsight should never have offered the qualifying offer in the first place. Creative financing at its finest once again.

- The Bulls other unsigned draft pick, Mario Austin, started the season with Besiktas in Turkey, but left without playing a game for reasons that I'm not aware of.

- Finally, and somewhat boringly, Larry Ayuso is still chasing the NBA dream, this time in the D-League with the Iowa Energy. He's doing this by averaging 13.0 points on 40% shooting, shooting more three pointers than two pointers, and with more turnovers than assists. He would appear to be trying to showcase himself as a jumpshooting specialist. It isn't working. But he did get this ESPN article about himself last month, so the D-League might have been the right place for him to go.

Summer signings, round 17

.....And by "signings", I mean "one big six player trade and some bland filler, cared about by no one but I". Note: grammar may not be as blazingly shit hot as author's nationaliy would suggest.

- James Augustine has signed with Gran Canaria in Spain, where he'll play alongside Joel Freeland. It is unlikely, however, that Augustine will play as well as Freeland, because Freeland is a freakin' legend. Also, I am still awaiting answers on how Augustine was waived by the Magic when he wasn't under contract. Did someone misreport his qualifying offer being retracted, or did he sign a contract reaaaaaaally quietly just to be waived within a few weeks? Someone tell me, because I care too much.

- Ronald Murray signed with the Atlanta Hawks. Do the Hawks really need another backup guard that can't shoot, when they have Acie Law, Speedy Claxton and Maurice Evans already? I doubt it. Nooooo, what they need is a good shooter. Like, say, Salim Stoudamire. (Readers note: I know that Maurice Evans has, somehow, developed himself into a good outside shooter, despite only using one hand to do so. But for some reason, my instinctive reaction is always to assume that Evans still can't shoot, even though he clearly can. I am holding something that isn't Evans's fault, or that is even true, against Maurice Evans, purely to make a petty point that doesn't even make sense. But whatever. Shut up. I'm having fun.)

- Andre Barrett signed with Barcelona, where he will combine with Juan Carlos Navarro to form what is officially the smallest backcourt in the history of professional basketball. (Note: may not be official.)

- Josh Powell signed with the L.A. Lakers after being waived by the Clippers at the end of last month. Now here's what I'm wondering: did Josh Powell have a house in L.A., and did he sell it once the Clippers waived him? Because, if so, whoops. On a more important basketball level: good move, Lakers.

- Andre Iguodala re-signed with the Philadelphia Sixers for lots of money, a comparable if not identical sum to that of Luol Deng before him. Most websites would lead with this announcement. This website leads with James Augustine. If you don't like that, go view another website. (Readers note: do not go view another website.)

- Brandon Bowman has signed with Telekom in Germany. If anybody wants an unpaid research job, do me a favour, and go research how many players have left the NBA (training camps count), signed in the German league, and been able to make it back to the big dance. Off the top of my head, I can't think of any, and I can't be bothered to look it up due to the inherent pointlessness of doing so. So feel free to do it for me.

- Damir Markota - him of the experience - has signed with Cibona Zagreb. Must have good clubs there. (Basketball clubs, obviously.)


- And finally, something interesting. It's time for a threesome.

Cleveland acquires Maurice Williams
Cleveland trades Damon Jones and Joe Smith

Milwaukee acquires Luke Ridnour, Damon Jones and Adrian Griffin
Milwaukee trades Maurice Williams and Desmond Mason.

Oklahoma City acquires Joe Smith and Desmond Mason.
Oklahoma City trades Luke Ridnour and Adrian Griffin.


Oklahoma City gets two decent players and $10 million in expirings for what essentially constitutes nothing at all. Cleveland gets the best player in the deal for two rather redundant expiring contracts. Meanwhile, Milwaukee trades the best player, arguably the third best player, and receives a whole sack of shit in return.

Hmmm.

I know why they did it. I think we all do - the pairing of Maurice Williams and Michael Redd wasn't working out, never foreseeably could, and needed splitting up. I get that much. But, if you've just traded the contract of Bobby Simmons for an in-his-prime Richard Jefferson, does this not signify that:

a) You'd quite like to win now?
b) You're probably not going for the ol' 2010 plan?

So when why you dump one of your better players (and a decent backup in Mason) for another backup and some filler, just to save some money? It's not like Ridnour is even expiring, and if the Bucks perceive that he has some vital usage for them on the court, they're wrong on that.

By all means trade Williams. Break up the worst defensive backcourt in basketball. Open the way for Ramon Sessions. Save a few quid. But at least get a decent player in return. May I suggest a power forward that isn't Charlie Villanueva as a decent starting point.

Was this really the best deal out there? They couldn't get back a player better than Luke freakin' Ridnour for a 17/6 scoring guard? One whom they just tied in to a market value long term contract?

I hope that it was. I also hope that it wasn't.


(Also, the Ron Artest trade that was talked about earlier finally went down. But you probably knew that already.)

Summer signings, round 12

- After much protestation on my part, the Clippers finally waived Josh Powell, hours before his contract became guaranteed. They then use the resultant cap space to sign veteran forward Brian Skinner. Thus, waiving Powell WAS worth it after all. My same plaudits and criticisms of every other Clippers free agency move so far also apply here - good player, very good value, but again with the age? (Oh well. Signing good players for good value can never be a bad thing.)

This move also impacts me on a personal level, as I had advocated Brian Skinner as a good signing for my incorrigible Chicago Bulls, because the idea of Aaron Gray and Drew Gooden as backup centres doesn't stir my loins. I tend to get right bummy and anal when what I deem to be a great addition falls by the wayside (See also: Devin Brown, Jason Kapono, Luther Head), and so you might be hearing a lot more talk about Brian Skinner around these parts. Additionally, if Ben Gordon leaves as a free agent, my Salim Stoudamire campaign is going global.

- Speaking of the Bulls, they actually did stuff. After overpaying to re-sign Luol Deng, the Bulls also then waived guard JamesOn Curry, leading to a round of "JamesOff The Team" jokes from people who should probably know better. Including me. Curry's salary was only $100,000, thus waiving him saved the Bulls $169,403 (Curry's $711,517 salary, minus the $100,000 amount of his guarantee, and the $442,114 cost of his rookie replacement, something which I have just assumed will happen.) This is the kind of purse-string dalliance that the Bulls will be regularly flirting with now, determined as they are to not pay the luxury tax. Cedric Simmons, don't even bother unpacking.

- Orlando waived James Augustine, a move only baffling if you poke around and discover that, according to everybody, he wasn't even under contract in the first place. Strange times.

- Rumours abound that Premiata Montegranaro - the Italian first division team who I mentioned earlier after they signed Darius Rice - are to try and sign the formerly famous and currently infamous Shawn Kemp. Apparently, if that doesn't work out, Bread Mountain have a different nearly-40-substance-abusing-power-forward-who-has-been-out-of-the-game-for-ages-and-whose-weight-could-be-anywhere already lined up, in the form of Vin Baker. I don't know whether such reports were fashioned before the team had had any kind of first hand look of the two players, but I'd pretty confidently guess not. It might chance their stance.

- In other scrub news, Ken Johnson signed with the Koeln 99ers in Germany, and Kennedy Winston signed with Turk Telekom. You can probably figure out which country that team resides in. HarpringIsMyHomeslice.com: the only NBA website to actually still care about Ken Johnson. (You hear that, Ken? We care. Call me.)

- And now news of a trade that hasn't happened yet. The Sacramento Kings will trade Ron Artest to the Houston Rockets for an assortment of goodies, including Bobby Jackson, Donte Green, and a first round draft pick. (Patrick Ewing Jr and Sean Singletary will apparently be included for salary matching, and will then be waived.)

That trade owns for Houston. Simply owns. It's a risk, for it is a risk whenever someone acqures Ron Artest before he's even gotten there, Artest has already made a twat out of himself to the Houston fans. But it's a risk worth taking. Artest is on an expiring contract, and if things don't work out, it need only be a one year investment. With Tracy McGrady starting to show signs of age, Houston's championship window is pretty small, but this move demonstrates that they clearly understand that and will give it a shot while they can.

The defense that the new Rockets lineup can put together is friggin' awesome. Awesome, I say. The Rockets now have two of the most versatile and skilled defenders in the league at the forward spots in Artest and Shane Battier, and McGrady is not bad either. Rafer Alston tries hard, even if he doesn't really know what he's doing, and Yao Ming intimidates you just by being there. Off the bench, the Rockets boast more good defensive forwards in Mike Harris, Carl Landry and Joey Dorsey (maybe), while Luther Head doesn't do all that badly defending players that are often bigger than him. The Rockets also boast an underrated defensive head coach in Rick Adelman.

Offensively, the Rockets still have questions. The guards either can't shoot, or don't know when they're supposed to (that's you again, Rafer. Not you, Brent Barry and Luther Head), and while the Rockets continue to look for shooters, the only player consistently able to create shots for others is McGrady. However, Artest will help the Rockets on the offensive end too, even though he has absolutely no concept of offensive continuity.

It's not too bad for the Kings, either. Not going anywhere fast, they've managed to get a promising young player, a draft pick, and an expiring contract that doesn't interfere with their salary situation. Greene may be the worst chucker in the history of professional basketball, but he has offensive skills, and maybe one day he'll either learn to shoot like Kobe Bryant (which would somewhat justify his shot selection), or realise that he can't and stop trying to. They can also pretend that Bobby Jackson wil play like he did during his first stint in Sacramento. And they might even get Ewing and Singletary back.

I think we've found a trade that makes sense, you know.