Where Are The Smiths

The following post will make you hate the word Smith.

- Charles Smith is with everyone's favourite delicatessen, Efes Pilsen, where he averages 14.7 points in the Turkish league and 12.0 points in the Euroleague.

- Donta Smith is in Australia, which sort of has a Chinese league thing going on with its American imports, albeit thankfully not as exaggerated. For comparison's sake, Donta started the year in China, so I can give you his Chinese league numbers (22.5 ppg, 5.9 rpg, 4.7 apg, 2.8 spg) and you can compare them with his Australian league numbers (14.1 ppg, 4.7 rpg, 3.0 apg, 1.2 spg). Smith's team, the Melbourne South Dragons, are currently playing in the NBL Grand Final Series Thing, and Smith led the team to a victory in Game 1 with a 19 point, 11 rebound, 5 assist performance. On this night, the team gave away 6,000 posters of Donta to the crowd.

- For what seems like years now, I've been talking about how Jabari Smith became a nationalised citizen of Qatar. But actually, he didn't; he applied for citizenship, but, for whatever reason, he didn't get it. I'm not sure why he wanted or needed it, unless he was wanting to enhance his career in the Qatarian leagues, but still. Jabari isn't signed at the moment, having last played in Iran.

- JaJuan Smith played with the Mavericks in summer league, chucked jumpers mericlessly, hit a few, got a training camp invite, got cut, sat around, went to Slovenia, got cut within days of arriving, and is now in France. In 5 games for the struggling Pau Orthez, Smith averages 8.8 points and 2.8 rebounds, having shot 12 two pointers, 4 free throws, and 31 three pointers.

- Jamar Smith (not the transferred Illinois one, but the one formerly from Maryland) is in the Italian second division, averaging 14.0 points and 7.9 rebounds for Fastweb Junior Casale Monferrato, whom INSTANTLY you will recognise as also being the home of David Thorpe's mate, Zabian Dowdell. Or at least you would if you'd been paying extreme, obsessive-compulsive attention.

- As seems to be the case with everyone that the Wizards ever sign for training camp, former Virginia Tech and Bowie State forward Jon Smith is in Argentina, averaging 11.7 points and 6.0 rebounds for Lanus Buenos Aires in Buenos Aires. Now, I've never heard of Jon Smith before, and only found out about him when it emerged that I needed one more Smith to pad this post out. But here is his basketball career thus far:

a: Spent three years barely playing for Virginia Tech.
b: Transferred to Bowie State (wherever that is), and averaged 13.9 ppg and 7.3 rpg.
c: Played a combined 5 games in his first professional season (2003-04) between the CBA and the USBL.
d: Signed by the Wizards for training camp in October 2004. Then inevitably waived.
e: Played in the USBL again in 2004-05, as well as the IBL.
f: Spent the 2005-06 season in China.
g: Averaged 14.0 ppg and 4.3 rpg in Portugal the following season.
h: Spent last year in China and Puerto Rico.
i: Has played for two teams in Argentina this season.

From this, I conclude that Jon Smith has never played a particularly high standard of basketball. Wizards excluded, Virginia Tech might have been the highest calibre basketball that he played on that list, and yet he barely played there. (Note: no jokes about the current Wizards please.) So what, then, did Washington see in him? Do tell.


- No, no, no, no, no-torrrrious Leon Smith has spent the last few years doing a tour of Central and South America, a tour that has encompassed Chile, Argentina, Mexico, and now Chile again. L-Smoove is playing for Deportes Castro, and while I don't have Chilean league numbers, I can tell you that Deportes Castro recently took part in the Liga Americas (a club competition for the Americas teams). In the three games he played, Smith scored 32 points, then 10 points, then 1 point. This might have something to do with the fact that they played a back to back to back.

- Steve Smith was a commentator for the Atlanta Hawks, but now works for NBA TV. I have been meaning to do a "rate the commentators" list for some time now, but haven't got around to it, and nor am I particularly ready to draw the ire of those Raptors fans who haven't quite learned to understand that Chuck Swirsky's slightly irritating Chuckisms are twenty thousand times more worthwhile that Matt Devlin, who permanently sounds like he's under a sink and who laughs like a misfiring Cadillac. (He's last on the list, then. So is Austin Carr.)

- Steven Smith is with VAP Kolossos in Greece, averaging 18.4 and 5.2 rebounds, while shooting a Steve Smith-like 47% from three point range.

- Despite persistent rumours to the contrary, Morrissey continues to deny rumours of a The Smiths reunion.

- Theron Smith is in China with TianJin Rongcheng. He averages 24.4 points, 9.8 rebounds and 4.6 assists. All told, that's a bit tame, isn't it?

- Still, if you think that's disappointing, pay attention to Tommy Smith's season. The ex-Bulls and Bucks forward spent the 2005 and 2006 seasons in Germany, never averaging more than 7.3 points per game. (I know you're a defensive minded player, Tommy, but it's Germany. Surely you can do better than that.) He spent last season in Syria, averaging unknown numbers, and then signed earlier this season in China. Did he averages 30 points per game? 25? 20? 15? Nope. Smith averaged 1 point per game in all of 2 games (totalling 45 minutes) before being waived and replaced by Chris Alexander (who has somewhat restored order with a 16.8 point, 12.0 rebound per game average). Since then, Smith has remained unsigned, and last month was arrested for kidnapping and assault after punching his girlfriend in the face. Quite a good few months, all told.

- The whitest man in showbiz, Tyler Smith (not the Tennessee player, but the former Penn State forward; the really really white one) is in Japan, averaging a frankly unimpressive 7.8 points and 2.5 rebounds per game for the Hitachi Sunrockers. (Great name.) Smith writes a blog of sorts for Eurobasket.com about his experiences in Japan, but for the life of me I can't find a single entry.

- Finally, here's the season so far for all of the Smith's in the NBA.

Craig Smith is averaging 9.1 points, 3.4 rebounds and 1.45 PPS despite his incompatibility with the rest of the Timberwolves big men.

Earl Smith averages 13.5 points, 3.9 rebounds and 2.5 assists as the Denver Nuggets' sixth man.

Jason Smith hasn't played all year after knee surgery.

Josh Smith's numbers are down across the board, as he averages 15.1 points, 6.9 rebounds, 2.4 assists, 1.6 blocks and 55% FT.

And Otis Smith is fortuitously dining out on the Magic's success, hopefully striving to figure out how he can "creatively finance" retaining both Hedo Turkoglu and Marcin Gortat without paying the tax.


I'm kind of sick at looking at the word Smith now.

Summer signings, round 18

- Adam Haluska signed with Hapoel Jerusalem. I'm putting this one first, because originally I had it last, and the jarringly obvious lack of a bad joke was not a good way to end the post. I have failed you.

- Miami waived Bobby Jones before his contract became guaranteed, thus leaving Jones free to roam the land and add another scalp to his "I can totally play for every NBA team before 2010" campaign. (A campaign which may only exist in my head.) I'd recommend him to Memphis, but unfortunately, he's already been there once. So....Oklahoma City, anyone?

- Some things happen really quietly in the NBA. So quietly, in fact, tha they aren't actually announced at all. In the last six weeks or so, the Bulls have signed two players without telling anyone: restricted free agent Demetris Nichols accepted his unguaranteed qualifying offer, obviously aware that it's for more than he will get elsewhere, and number 1 overall pick Derrick Rose signed his rookie contract back in early July. For some reason, there was no press conference on this - one can only assume that they held off deliberately in order to do the damn thing so that they can announce his signing at a later date in conjunction with the signings of, say, Luol Deng and Ben Gordon. That way, they can do one of those "Meet The Next Generation" type of press conferences, and maybe even get Jonathan Frakes as a guest speaker. However, as Ben Gordon has decided to be a right wazzock about his contract situation (more on this later), that plan hasn't really worked out. Nevertheless, Rose has signed, so all you conspiracy theorists....disperse.

- Similarly, the Warriors have signed undrafted forward Dion Dowell for training camp, doing so very early, with no announcement made. It's not unprecedented for this to happen - Utah did it with Roger Powell once, for example - but it is kind of rare. So when an announcement about Golden State signing Dion Dowell hits the streets in the first week of October, don't be surprised to hear an I told you so. (In the unlikely event that it doesn't happen, this post will self-destruct, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.)

- Milwaukee signed Francisco Elson. Why? Don't know, really. Is Elson better than incumbent backup centre Dan Gadzuric? Yes, yes he is. Pretty much everyone is. But is it by a lot? Not exactly. So is it worth signing a slight upgrade when you're already stuck with paying Gadzuric $20 million over the next three years? (By the way, you may have noticed that sometimes I befoul the signing of good players to decent value contracts, and sometimes I applaud it. This is because I'm temperamental, partial to prejudice, and often wrong.)

- In the same day, Gordan Giricek was reported to have signed with two different teams, in a situation even more bizarre than that of serial bigamist, Jumaine Jones. Triumph Lyubertsy of Russia - the team who just spent lots of money on glamour model Nenad Krstic as a replacement for Uros Slokar - were reported to have signed Giricek for one of those elusive 1+1 deals, but agent Marc Fleischer says that Giricek signed with Fenerbache of Turkey. And you'd think that he'd know, really. So we'll pencil him in for Turkey. (You know the best part about all of this? I'm Uros Slokar's Facebook friend. True story. The guy writes on his own wall a lot, but his English is as sound as Ealing North MP Stephen Pound. I like him.)

- Boston either just have signed or soon will sign their first round draft pick, J.R. Giddens. For all first round draft pick fans at home, this now leaves only two from this year's draft unsigned - George Hill of the San Antonio Spurs (who apparently will signed and will feature heavily), and Serge Ibaka of Oklahoma City (who, as intrepidly reported back in the boom boom selection days, has signed elsewhere already). You know who has been signed? Derrick Rose. Just thought I'd remind you.

- Jamar Smith has signed for Fastweb Casale Monferrato in Italy. Note: this is not Illinois's disreputable Jamar Smith, the one who recently got kicked off of the team for some naughtiness. Instead, this is Maryland's Jamar Smith, the one hurtling towards thirty, and the former San Antonio Spurs training camp fodder. In many ways, this is the more famous of the Jamar Smithii. (Plural.)

- Jannero Pargo signed with Dynamo Moscow, a team which isn't actually in Moscow, but which can be found in a small farmer's market outside Pontefract, Wales. (Readers note: I am talking out of my arse.) The signing of Pargo isn't exactly a heartbreaker, but it does weaken the already piss poor market even further. However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. For every reasonably decent point guard signed, Kevin Ollie gets one step closer to a stay of execution, which can't be bad. Additionally, if any teams out there are upset at losing out of signing Pargo and are looking for a Pargo-like replacement, may I suggest Salim Stoudamire?

- Louis Amundson signed with the Phoenix Suns, naturally for the minimum. So clearly the Warriors looked elsewhere (namely, Dion Dowell). The Suns are now a Goran Dragic away from completing their roster, and we'll have more on that sneaky little bastard later.

- Marcus Douthit has signed with Antalya Buyuksehir Belediye. The last time I wrote something about Marcus Douthit, I asked the world if any of you knew what happened to Douthit's unique charges of embezzlement. Reader and one-time blog commenter Chris, whoever that is (God bless you sir) provided a quasi-update, but not an absolute resolution to this important question. And so, I'll ask again: does anyone know of what became of Marcus Douthit's embezzlement charges?

- Paul Davis returned to the L.A. Clippers to battle Steve Novak for the important role of gimpy looking 15th man whose very presence keeps the fans interested. Unhelpfully and unoriginally, I'm going to make the same observation that everyone else has made: boy, do they have a lot of Davii! (Plural.) Journeyman forward Dangerous Josh Davis can claim the one the Clippers as one of the few teams that he hasn't played for yet, not even in summer league (I think), and he's also currently unsigned. This union makes too much sense not to happen.

- Maintenant, et finalément, I can't speak French. Shawn Kemp did actually sign for Bread Mountain in Italy, as mentioned once before. It really happened. It really did. Expect this to be tracked closely.