The deal was made to help Houston dodge the luxury tax. And it worked, because they did. By dumping Francis's $2,634,480 salary onto the Grizzlies, the Rockets saved themselves that much again in luxury tax savings, as well as picking up a $2,911,756 rebate from not being a luxury tax payer. The amount of money they saved was more than enough to justify giving the Grizzlies enough cash to pay Francis's remaining salary for the remainder of the season, and by returning the Grizzlies's 2009 pick to them - one which they had previous acquired in the draft night 2008 three way trade that saw Memphis move up for Darrell Arthur - the Rockets found sufficient incentive for the Grizzlies to help them. For the Grizzlies, they were essentially given a free pick; they were given a player that they didn't want, but also enough money to pay his salary without him ever turning up, and they got a 30's pick for their troubles. All they had to do was sacrifice some cap space that they weren't going to use anyway.
(The 2011 pick is irrelevant; it is top 55 protected, and only for that season. So if Memphis pick in the bottom 25 of the NBA that year, which they will, then Houston gets nothing. The pick was only included because Memphis had to give up at least something, however arbitrary.)
(Also, the pick Houston gave to Memphis to save this $5.6 million was the #36, which Memphis then used to draft Sam Young. Houston later bought the #32 from Washington for $2.5 million. So in a way, they traded a player on their inactive list in exchange for moving up 4 spots and gaining $3.1 million. Not bad work.)
I'm hereby suggesting something very similar for this season. Once again, Memphis finds itself without its second round draft pick, and once again, the team that owns it is in the luxury tax territory. This time it's the L.A. Lakers, who first received the pick in the much underrated Pau Gasol deal. Also, after the Allen Iverson buyout, Memphis once again has the cap room to do something about that.
So here's the deal; L.A. Lakers trade Adam Morrison and the Grizzlies' 2010 seconder rounder to Memphis in exchange for Steven Hunter.
Both players in the deal are on expiring salaries; Morrison at $5,257,229, Hunter at $3,696,000. The Lakers currently have a a payroll of $91,341,066. It's the highest in the league and they don't want it to be. After tax payments, that's a payroll of basically $112 million. And even if you're the defending world champions, favourites to repeat and totally not skint from all that revenue, $112 million is still a lot of money. They want the payroll to come down, and are offering up their entire Odom-less bench as a result. This deal helps with that; the Lakers would save on the difference in luxury tax payments between Hunter and Morrison's salaries (approximately $1.6 million) as well as the difference between their remaining salaries this season (which gets smaller after every payday, but which is still over $1 million). All it would cost them is a young player that they probably wouldn't use anyway, since they have no real room for young players at the moment. And they might even get some usage out of Hunter.
Similarly, Memphis' MO is to build through the draft. That's why they traded Pau for Marc and two first round picks - which essentially became three after the follow-up Javaris Crittenton deal - and it's why they used their cap space to acquire picks last year. They can't compete financially in free agency, so they don't try to; instead, they survive on draft picks and retreads, so any means for obtaining a decent draft pick has to be considered. And if swapping Steven Hunter for Adam Morrison could be a mechanism for getting someone like James Anderson next year, then that can't be bad.
How much cash would L.A. include? Don't know. It probably depends on Memphis' opinion of Morrison. It might also depend on when the deal is made (the later it happens, the less L.A. saves). It might even be none. But the basic framework for a deal is there. Both teams get what they want while losing nothing they can really use. As a man doing an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, it writes itself.
This isn't a prediction. This is an idea. But if it's an idea that happens, expect this last stanza to be deleted.
Where Are They Now: 2009 Summer League Teams Part 2
It's been roughly two months since summer league started, and most of the players involved have been rehomed now. The following is a list of where everybody currently is, or where they might be going.
This list gets a bit long, so if you want to just skip to your favoured team, you can do so. I'll allow that.
- Will Blalock: Blalock is unsigned. But he averaged more points (6.2) and assists (2.8) in summer league than he did last season in Germany (4.2 & 2.1). So he's got that going for him.
- Roy Hibbert: I said it before, but I'll say it again; Hibbert is better than you thought he was going to be.
- Jared Homan: The Ho-Man signed in Greece with Costa Cafe Marousi to replace Andreas Glyniadakis, who signed with Olympiakos.
- Aaron Jackson: Jackson may or may not have signed in Turkey. It depends on what this really says.
- Trey Johnson: Johnson didn't pick the best summer league team to be on. He might have made an NBA team with a better showing and a better opportunity. As it is, he's now signed in France with BCM Gravelines Dunkerque Grand Littoral, a team that really needs to truncate its name.
- Leo Lyons: See Cleveland entry.
- Josh McRoberts: Despite having a fully guaranteed $1,000,497 qualifying offer, McRoberts re-signed for a guaranteed minimum of $825,497, with $250,000 guaranteed for the following season. I guess he just wanted to get out of restricted free agency as soon as possible.
- A.J. Price: Price hasn't signed with the Pacers, but now that they've bought out Jamaal Tinsley, he must have a chance. The Pacers don't especially need four point guards, but this doesn't usually stop them.
- Brandon Rush: Rush played in only one summer league game, and shot 4-19. Let's pretend it didn't happen.
- Anthony Smith: Smith is unsigned.
- Scott VanderMeer: Vandermeer is signed along with Travis Walton with the Lugano Tigers in Switzerland. That team is going to be fierce next year. Also on that team are Mohammed Abukar and Derek Stockalper. You might know about Abukar from his Florida days, his San Diego State days or his Austin Toros days, and you might know Derek Stockalper if you watched Britain vs Switzerland two years ago. He's the one who pirhouetted on every three point attempt. I liked him.
- Corie Belser: A very late addition to summer league, Belser has played the last three years in Greece with Larisa, and has now moved to Aris Thessaloniki.
- Nik Caner-Medley: Caner-Medley is back in the ACB, despite being kicked off of Cajasol Sevilla at the end of last season for drunkenly fighting a team mate. He is now with MMT Estudiantes Madrid.
- Dionte Christmas: Watched a Temple game recently. Just wanted to say that. The Sixers have offered Christmas a training camp spot, but he's still looking at European opportunities.
- Eric Gordon: With him and the next guy, the Clippers have a good young core. I only hope they know this.
- Blake Griffin: Got in trouble a while ago for saying that I'd rather have Blake Griffin than Derrick Rose. Still standing by it.
- DeAndre Jordan: Lots of players are regarded as being all athleticism and no skills, but never is this more true at the NBA level than of DeAndre Jordan. Even on that night he put up 20/10 versus the Lakers, he let Andrew Bynum score 42. I'm not a fan right now.
- Marcelus Kemp: Kemp has gone back to the Italian second division and is now with Banco di Sardegna Sassari. Never heard of them.
- Kyle McAlarney: McAlarney is unsigned. He shot well for the Clippers - he always shoots well - but the 1:1 assist/turnover ratio and the two free throw attempts in 5 games are emblematic of his flaws.
- Kevinn Pinkney: Pinkney didn't take a three in summer league, which is an improvement, but he also shot only 20% and rebounded to his usual substandard. He is currently unsigned.
- Mike Taylor: Taylor was waived by the Clippers before his contract became guaranteed. The team that needs all the scoring and guard help that it could get decided not to play Mike Taylor the minimum, even after trading what turned out to be the #33 pick (Dante Cunningham) for him. Whoops. Taylor has since worked out for the Grizzlies, but is unsigned.
- Alan Anderson: Anderson signed with Maccabi Tel-Aviv before summer league even started. Which makes you wonder why he turned up at all.
- Aron Baynes: Similarly, Baynes signed with Lietuvos Rytas in Lithuania before summer league started. He played terribly in summer league, so that was probably a blessing.
- Dominique Coleman: Coleman is signed with Dexia Mons-Hainaut in Belgium.
- Chinemelu Elonu: Elonu is unsigned. I'm not sure if he's planning on going to camp with the Lakers this year, but if he is, he'll probably lose.
- Tony Gaffney: Gaffney is signed with Altshuler Saham Galil Gilboa in Israel.
- Terrel Harris: Harris is signed with IG Strasbourg in France.
- Justin Hawkins: Unsigned. And it's hard to find out news about him because of the unwelcome presence of the highly annoying bucktoothed cokehead cockhead ex-Darkness frontman of the same name. He's releasing a World Cup song, apparently. Yeefreakinghaw.
- Ben McCauley: McCauley's taken his unaggressive ways to France, where he'll blend in nicely as Harris' Strasbourg teammate. He also had a pretty damn impressive summer league all told, which might buy him a repeat performance next year.
- David Monds: Monds averaged 14 points off the bench in summer league, which is a pretty special feat. He took a boatload of midrange jumpshots to do it, a wildly overrated style of field goal attempt loved by purists and denounced by SABRmetricians, but at least they went in. He is unsigned, which may or may not mean anything.
- Adam Morrison: Morrison scored heavily and often in summer league, just like he used to. This season might represent his last chance, but it can't be any worse than the last two years have been, If he's finally healthy, he'll have a role to play, even if it's not on the Lakers. (Is a salary dump onto Memphis too unfeasible?)
- Taylor Rochestie: Rotch is signed with MEG Goettingen in Germany.
- Luke Schenscher: Schenscher didn't play with the Lakers due to a back injury. He returned to Australia to work out with his former team, the Adelaide 36ers, but he's not going to be signing in Australia. He remains unsigned.
- Jeff Adrien: Adrien has signed in the Spanish second division with Leche Rio Breogan Lugo. You'll notice that I go out of my way to point out when someone has signed in a second division, and that this doesn't happen very often. It's generally not a good thing when it does.
- Darrell Arthur: Good news! Darrell Arthur won't be starting at power forward next year. Bad news! Zach Randolph will be.
- DeMarre Carroll: Do you think that if the Grizzlies knew that Sam Young would fall to #36 that they would have picked Wayne Ellington instead? I do.
- Erik Daniels: Daniels hasn't yet been able to turn his season of magnanimity into a contract anywhere. He's unsigned and looks like a candidate to return to the D-League. That is, unless he moves to Italy.
- Daniel Ewing: Ewing re-signed with Prokom Sopot, the Polish Euroleague team.
- Trey Gilder: Gilder was signed by the Grizzlies just last week, since they're still apparently looking for athletic forward help. I think they've got enough now, though.
- Hamed Haddadi: Haddadi is under contract to the Grizzlies for two more years. He's not very happy about this. You know what pissed me off about that story? Not a single news outlet went with the headline "Grizzlies' Haddadi unhapappy." Do I have to do all the work here?
- Kenny Hasbrouck: Hasbrouck didn't play for the Grizzlies in the end, and remains unsigned. But he did get a post-SL workout from the Heat for some reason.
- Longar Longar: Longar Longar is unsigned, and if he doesn't go back to the D-League, then I'll be more confused than I was when I watched Cleaner and didn't initially realise that the character of Rose was NOT Samuel L. Jackson's wife, but his daughter. (Oh sure, it's easy in hindsight. But they snuggled, man. They snuggled. That's just weird, you know?)
- Brion Rush: Rush has signed with Triumph in Russia.
- Donta Smith: Smith remains unsigned, and he's probably still not allowed in Puerto Rico.
- Greg Stiemsma: Stiemsma was picked in the KBL Draft last month, and is over there now doing their initiation thing.
- Hasheem Thabeet: I've publicly stated in the past that I would have picked Ricky Rubio, and I still kind of stand by that, joyously ignorant as I am of the meticulous nature of his buyout. But even if they didn't want Rubio, what was wrong with Tyreke Evans? He's a better player than Thabeet with a much better upside, and even if he's not a great fit with O.J. Mayo, that's no reason not to pick him. It's the number 2 pick. Pick the second best player in the draft. Work the rest out later. This is what I'd do. I'm just saying.
- Marcus Williams: Williams played very well for the Grizzlies in summer league and has since earned a funky contract. I'm happy to announce that I sort of predicted this. Sort of. (Meaning that I didn't really.)
- Sam Young: Young signed a three year contract, which is a tad odd, but beneficial to both parties. It pays $824,200 in the first year, $886,000 in the second, and there's a third team option year at $947,800. That is the equal of the 100% scale amount that the 30th pick in the draft would receive, except without the fourth season. Not sure why they did this. But it's good news for Sam Young, decent news for Memphis, and not such good news for Christian Eyenga. And it's definitely creative financing.
- Joe Alexander: Richard Jefferson is gone, but Scott Skiles is still there, and the unheralded Ersan Ilyasova is back. I still don't predict good things for Alexander and would love to be wrong about that.
- Paul Delaney: Delaney is signed with Hapoel Holon in Israel. What does Hapoel mean?
- Dominic James: James didn't play on the Bucks summer league team due to another injury. He is unsigned, and the D-League makes a hell of a lot of sense for him right now.
- Brandon Jennings: Jennings played very well in summer league, and I've been saying that I don't rate him for quite a while now. It's a topic that nees fleshing out, I think. And it's a topic that'll get fleshed out once Ramon Sessions' future is finally decided.
- Amir Johnson: It was a really pointless trade for the Bucks to acquire Johnson in the first place. It was an even more pointless one to then move him on to Toronto. This, too, will be fleshed out soon, in a post about the Bucks that might not be entirely favourable.
- Luc Richard Mbah A Moute: This guy's great, though. They struck a winner with this one. If him, Skiles and Chris Duhon release a threesome sextape at some point in the near future, don't be shocked.
- Will McDonald: McDonald asked Tau Ceramica nicely if they'd led him play in summer league. They permitted it. McDonald averaged 5.3/4.7 in three games. He then signed a three year contract with C.B. Gran Canaria. Is this a summer league success story? I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not sure of why any of this took place. But well done to him anyway.
- Jodie Meeks: Signed for three years in one of the few good bits of business than the Bucks have done this year.
- Juan Palacios: Palacios played 46 of the most incosequential minutes you'll ever see in summer league. 3 points, 3 rebounds, 3 fouls, 10% shooting. Thanks for playing. He is on loan for next year to U.B. La Palma in Spain's LEB Gold (second division) from Gran Canaria (in the ACB, or first division.
- Chris Richard: With not a huge amount of centre size on the Bucks SL roster, Richard had a chance to impress here. He didn't, totalling 17 fouls in 51 minutes. He looks like a candidate fur the D-League once again.
- Salim Stoudamire: No offense to Salim, since everyone knows I'm a big fan, but there was no reason for the Bucks to bring in Salim in the first place. This was made doubly true by the drafting of Meeks. They've now finally cut Salim, who remains unsigned.
- Szymon Szewczyk: Szewczyk is an established European presence whose body type, skillset, harline and and athleticism are more suited to the European game. He has no reason to give that up. So he hasn't; he's signed with Air Avellino in Italy for next year.
- Mohammed Tangara: If you want to know what Mohammed Tangara is up to, why not email him?
- Lorrenzo Wade: Wade has signed with Kavala/Panorama in Greece. The forward slash is their work, not my typo.
- Corey Brewer: Brewer is finally healthy, and competition at the Timberwolves' wing positions is far from strong. Before he got hurt, Brewer had started to get somewhere. If he picks up where he left off, we'll pretend his rookie year never happened.
- Bobby Brown: If anyone stood to benefit from the Rubio saga (other than Barcelona) it was Bobby Brown. Brown was a summer league success last year, which is how he came to earn a two year guaranteed contract from the Kings. But when draft night came around, and the Wolves picked four point guards, it didn't look good for Bobby. Nevertheless, after trading away Nick Calathes, Ty Lawson and Sebastian Telfair, and with Rubio not signing, Brown is now the primary backup. It's all coming up Milhouse. Giggidy.
- Pat Carroll: Don't know if I mentioned this before, but for Tenerife last year, Pat Carroll averaged 3.4 rebounds, 1 assist and 1 steal per 48 minutes, shooting 7 three pointers for every free throw attempted, and with 75% of his FG attempts being from three point range. It doesn't get much more one dimensional than that. Pat is unsigned, and having spent the last three years in playing various calibre of Spanish basketball, he's a good bet to go back there again.
- Devin Green: Wikipedia says he's signed with the Spurs, which is pretty much why you should never trust Wikipedia for anything basketball related. Green is unsigned, but he usually gets a training camp spot somewhere, so one more wouldn't be a great surprise.
- Paul Harris: Unsigned, with whispers of a standing training camp offer from the Wolves.
- Gerald Henderson: Signed, but with the Bobcats. Obviously. While letting Henderson play with another team was pretty cool, it would be even better if Charlotte would just pony up and enter a team of their own. If you're short of money, don't trade for Nazr Freaking Mohammed and DeSagana Freaking Diop. For Freak's sake.
- Steven Hill: Hill didn't go to the Wolves summer league, for reasons I'm not sure of. He's now unsigned, for reasons I'm fully aware of.
- Adam Parada: Parada was a very late addition to the summer league roster, after Hill didn't turn up. He is unsigned, but he's a savvy minor league veteran, so he'll find something. Fun Adam Parada fact: about three years ago, one of Adam Parada's friends asked me to post a video of Adam Parada being punched by Robert Whaley, so that he could use it to laugh at Adam Parada. Not a fun fact: Robert Whaley's son was knocked down and killed by a car last month. Very bad times.
- Oleksiy Pecherov: Every time there's a glimmer of hope for some Pecherov PT - such as when the Wolves traded away Craig Smith and Mark Madsen - they go and ruin it by acquiring another big (Ryan Hollins). It's Pecherov's own fault, really, for not being a very good player. Still, if my genius trade idea goes through (Chucky Atkins and Darius Songaila for Antonio Daniels and Devin Brown), then that gives Petch one last hope.
- Garret Siler: The ever-efficient Siler shot a Garrett Siler-like 78% in summer league. He has since earned an invite to Hawks training camp. However, the Hawks are stuck with paying Randolph Morris a guaranteed contract. Siler will have to shoot 88% to make them overlook that.
- Ben Woodside: Woodside is signed with Gravelines in France.
- Blake Ahearn: With literally nothing left to prove in the D-League, Ahearn has decided it's time to start getting paid, and has gone to the ACB to sign with MMT Estudiantes Madrid.
- Jason Ellis: Ellis is signed with GasTerra Flames Groningen in Holland, one of 7 Americans on the team. One of the others is Darian Townes.
- Gary Forbes: Forbes is still building an NBA resumé and is now in Italy's SerieA with Vanoli Cremona, who last year were in LegaDue and were known as Vanoli Soresina. Confusing, isn't it? OK OK OK, I'll make the freaking name changes list......
- Jrue Holiday: Don't understand this pick. Not with Darren Collison and Ty Lawson still on board. Even Jeff Teague and Eric Maynor may be better, although I don't know a lot about those two. (Also, if you've just picked Jrue Holiday, don't then re-sign Royal Ivey. Ivey is barely an NBA player to begin with, but when you really need shooting and actual point guard play on offense, don't bring in a second defensive specialist. Come on now.)
- Chris Johnson: Johnson has signed with a Turkish team that I'd never previously heard of, Aliaga Petkim.
- Marreese Speights: Sixers fans asking if a Speights for Kirk Hinrich deal is in some way plausible; nope. You don't have the suitable salaries, and even if you did, the Bulls freaking love Hinrich and are prioritising defense. Trading Hinrich for Speights makes our defense even worse. And it's not good to begin with.
- Terrence Williams: Williams' future offensive problems in the NBA showed themselves early. He turned it over 4 times a game, and shot percentages of 33%/28%/46%. That's really, really bad, and it's a shame that his good passing skills are going to go to waste in the NBA.
- Earl Calloway: Calloway had already signed with Khimki in Russia before summer league started, and has since moved to Cajasol Sevilla, so he's not unsigned.
- Jaycee Carroll: Carroll is signed with C.B. Gran Canaria. Did you know he was 26 already? Me neither.
- Brian Cusworth: Cusworth was one of the better players in Spain's LegaDue last year, and now he's made the step up to the ACB, signing with Basquet Manresa.
- Terry Martin: Martin averaged 5/2 last year for LSU, which was somehow enough to get a summer league spot. Normality has now been restored, however, as Martin has joined the perfectly named Oberwart Gunners in the seminal Austrian league. (No offense meant by any of that, Terry Martin. It's just that this is an NBA website and so we judge players by NBA standards. You know what I mean?)
- Luke Nevill: Nevill is unsigned. Australia have some pretty good big men, though, don't they? Shame that Patty Mills and Brad Newley are all the guard help they can offer. Unless you think highly of C.J. Bruton.
- Larry Owens: Owens is unsigned.
- Marc Salyers: Salyers is signed with Le Mans Sarthe Basket in France. I'm still not sure why this 30 year old forward came over to summer league, four years after he last stuck his nose into the NBA (which, not coincidentally, was with the 2005 Hornets summer league team). I guess he just wanted to know what could have been. Salyers is a big time scorer on the continent, and should probably stay there.
- Courtney Sims: Sims didn't play for the Hornets and is unsigned. He looks like a logical candidate for a training camp spot somewhere.
- Marcus Thornton: Thornton is signed to a two year guaranteed minimum salary contract.
- Anthony Tolliver: Same as Sims, except the bit about him not playing for the Hornets.
- Quinton Watkins: Watkins didn't play for San Diego State. He didn't play for the Hornets in summer league. So what are the chances that a European team will have signed him? Here's a clue; they haven't.
- Julian Wright: A lot of people have suggested that the Hornets trade of Rasual Butler will open up an opportunity for Wright to start doing something. But I'm more of the school of thought that says the player to benefit most from the deal is Mo Peterson. Peterson fell off fast, and I whole heartedly believe that there's a second wind in there somewhere. I'm not sure why I believe this, but I do. Also, it's about time they got something from the heavy investment they made in him, don't you think?
Kirk Snyder's hearing delayed, Darius Miles arrested
Middletown Journal:Kirk Snyder takes further steps to really help his own cause and become a better, well-adjusted person.
A competency hearing for former NBA player Kirk Snyder has been delayed because [he] has been uncooperative with medical experts, court officials said.
Snyder, 25, is accused of breaking in a home and assaulting a man on March 30 near his residence in the Beacon Hill Townhouses in Deerfield Twp.
A Warren County grand jury indicted him on aggravated burglary and felonious assault charges, both felonies, He was also charged with a misdemeanor assault charge for allegedly attacking another inmate at the Warren County Jail after his arrest.
Snyder’s attorney, Hal Arenstein, could not be reached for comment, but he has filed documents in court saying his client is not guilty by reason of insanity and he is not competent to stand trial.
Grizzlies forward Darius Miles was arrested Wednesday and released on bond after being charged with possession of marijuana following a routine traffic stop.
Miles also received a ticket for driving with a suspended license according to the Associated Press, which first reported the story.
.................
Although the Griz haven't publicly stated their intentions, their plan was always to start next season without Miles.
The Griz grew weary of Miles' waning work ethic and his relationship with rookie guard O.J. Mayo.
There was widespread concern in the organization about Miles' off-the-court influence on Mayo near the end of the season.
If there was ever any doubt - and there wasn't - Memphis really did only sign Darius Miles to screw Portland. His reasonably effective play notwithstanding, it was never going to be a long term solution, and there was nothing to gain in the short term either. But, if stiffing Portland was indeed their aim, it worked. Industrious? Yes. Successful? Yes. Embarassing? Definitely yes. Let's pretend it didn't happen.
But, enough of that.
To the bigger issues here: in addition to a fine and most underwhelming Twitter page, this webshite now also has a Facebook fan page. Why? Why not, I say.
If anyone wishes to help out by creating a logo that isn't a copyrighted picture of Ha Seung-Jin's face, then do please contact me.
1: The following Youtube video has done the rounds recently, showing an impressive double alleoop in a highly one-sided high school game.
That clip reminded me of this one, featuring the Los Angeles Clippers's "overloaded with potential" era, specifically Darius Miles and Lamar Odom. (Also, is it Sean Rooks throwing that frontcourt pass? I think so.)
Since Kevin Calabro left us, Ralph Lawler has assumed the title of Best Announcer Of Any NBA Team. If ever you forget that, watch this clip. Great freaking call, Ralph. Great call.
2: While looking for that clip, I also found this one.
I loved that so-called "Jail Blazers" team. Loved it. There was just so much talent on it, so much depth, and so much athleticism (which, not matter how much you appreciate skill, is something that makes the game more fun. As evidenced by this clip). That particular Blazers team also had Steve Kerr and Chris Dudley, two all time favourites of mine. It was great times all around. But it's a bit odd, when you think about it. All but one Blazer in this clip is now out of the league. Derek Anderson is unsigned. Bonzi Wells is in China. Ruben Patterson is unsigned. Scottie Pippen is kicking 50's door down. (Not 50 Cent, but the age.) Kerr is the Suns General Manager now, and Chris Dudley is Kevin Love's mentor. (Well, he was, briefly.) Rasheed Wallace is still with us, but not the same Rasheed Wallace as we see today, and the rest of the roster not seen in this clip (Damon Stoudamire, Dale Davis, Shawn Kemp, Erick Barkley, Mitchell Butler, Ruben Boumtje Boumtje, Rick Brunson) are all out of the league. The only ones that aren't are Sheed and Zach Randolph, then a deep bench player on a deep bench. Admittedly, this clip is seven years old, and so 13 of the 15 players being out of the league seven years on should not be a surprise.....but it just doesn't feel right, does it?
3: Speaking of Darius Miles, congratulations on him playing his tenth game, and playing it bloody well.
a) Is this evidence of Dallas realising that this core isn't working, and isn't going to work, so saving some money and thinking 2010 might not be a bad idea right now? I hope so. There's literally no potential for internal improvement right now. Gerald Green, J.J. Barea and Shawne Williams don't constitute a young core. And you'll have to keep Brandon Bass first before he counts.
b) Are there any more overpaid backup centres on long term contracts that the Bobcats can bring in to fight for the ten minutes behind Emeka Okafor? Is two (Diop and Nazr Mohammed - going to enough? Can we goad them into a move for Dan Gadzuric? Spend their full MLE on Fabricio Oberto? No? Pity.
5: It's a shame that the Nets realised that they stood to gain absolutely nothing from the Larry Hughes/Bobby Simmons & Maurice Ager swap, because otherwise the Bulls were in danger of pulling off a good move. It's also a shame, though, that talks seemed to break down over the Nets' insistence on including either Tyrus Thomas or Yannick Noah in the deal. Now come on, Thorneweghe. Give them some credit. You don't dump your sole semblance of a future frontcourt, however unsatisfying it may be, just to move Larry Hughes. And more importantly, you don't need Tyrus Thomas. You've already got Stromile Swift. They're basically the same, right?
6: Speaking of, why does everyone seem so interested in Sean Williams? What is he good at other than blocking the occasional shot, and being friends with insanely annoying British whiggers? Williams is simply not that skilled, and he compounds that with an apparent attitude problem (as evidenced at the D-League showcase, where he turned up only technically). Athleticism does not equal talent, and Sean Williams has lots of one and not enough of the other.
7: Hopefully, the Grizzlies firing Marc Iavaroni will lead to a change in philosophy. What's the point of creating a team with two point guard (Mike Conley and Kyle Lowry) who thrives when pushing the ball, then starting two great athletes like O.J. Mayo and Rudy Gay (hehe) on the wings, having a similarly athletic power forward in Darrell Arthur and a high flying sixth man like Hakim Warrick, just to then be 22nd in the league in pace? Memphis should be pushing the ball. They're young, athletic, have enough of a halfcourt option in Marc Gasol to get by, and have just enough rebounding to run a reasonably successful running game. (More than the Warriors do, anyway.) To make them grind out meticulous and rather ineffective halfcourt sets doesn't seem to be working, so play to the team's strengths. At the very least, their trade values will go up. And you might even win more.
8: Heartfelt condolences to Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller, who had half of both his legs amputated, and to long time Bulls staple Johnny 'Red' Kerr, who has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.
1) As you may know, Houston traded Steve Francis, a 2009 second round draft pick and cash to Memphis for a conditional 2011 second round pick. Memphis's end of this is simple. They got their pick back for free. Houston gave them Francis, enough money to pay him for the rest of the year (or most of it, at least), and Memphis's own 2nd rounder next year, which they'd previously given to Houston while moving up in the draft this summer. In return, Memphis only gave them a conditional second in 2011, which will be like top 55 protected or something, so they won't even lose it anyway. They can now either waive Francis without fear of reprisal, get a free look at him as a player (bloody unlikely), or keep him as an expiring. But more importantly, they're getting their high second rounder back. for no cost. It's a good move. As for Houston, they give up a second that they don't need in order to get under the luxury tax. It's a good move for them, too.
But here's the real important thing: I TOTALLY called it. In this post, just underneath the picture of the fat lady with no bum crack, I wrote this:
(After Antonio McDyess's buyout, Denver is now no more than a small dollop over their eternal enemy, the luxury tax threshold. If they waft a pick Memphis's way, they should be able to dump Chucky Atkins, whose salary for next year is only $760,000 guaranteed, thus not affecting Memphis's 2009 cap space plan much. This move gets Denver under the tax, finally, and it need only cost them the pick that they got from Charlotte for Alexis Ajinca to do it. Also note that I'm just an ideas man, not a soothsayer. Houston would be sensible to do much the same with Steve Francis, who is entirely surplus to requirements in both Memphis and Houston, and whose salary is keeping the Rockets in the tax territory. But his expiring is tolerable for the Grizzlies with apt sweeteners. With those two deals, Memphis could gain two picks without changing their long or short term plans, while Houston and Denver save lots of money on players and picks that they don't need. To me, this makes sense. Does that mean it will happen? No. But, between now and February, I'd place a call. Boy, this bracket got a bit long.)
Get some. I wonder if the Grizzlies general manager reads what I write.
2) Oklahoma City signed Nenad Krstic - technically still a Nets free agent - to an offer sheet, one which the Nets will apparently not match. This offers up a variety of questions (such as, quite how scary is this supposed European exodus going to be. when even the European deserters come back within 6 months?), but most of all, look at their prospective depth chart with Krstic on it.
Now obviously, things will work out to be slightly different to this. For example, it makes sense for Green to now take on a sixth man role, and for some combination of Krstic, Collison and Wilcox to fill the starting power forward and centre spots. Steven Hill is also the logical man to be cut once Krstic arrives. But even so, the signing of Krstic makes the Thunder's depth chart even wonkier. Why the hell do you want six centres? Why would you draft D.J. White with so many players in front of him? Why would you then sign Hill and Krstic as well? Why would you also draft Serge Ibaka and DeVon Hardin with your other picks? Why can you only play for the Thunder if you can scratch your ankles while standing up? Why would a team with literally every hole to fill concentrate solely on the same? I realise the value of good big men, but Sam Presti, hit us up with some deadline deals, because your roster is pretty friggin' ramshackle at the moment. And also, don't sign Ben Gordon this summer, whatever you do. As far as you need to know, he's a no-defense chucker with a humility problem. Let's ignore the truth for a minute and run with that. You don't want him. Sign more centres. Spend your money elsewhere. There's a good lad.
3) The following video of Devin Harris is about as comfortable as the early morning shit after a night on the Guinness.
They're right, though. Devin Harris should be in the All Star game. And Allen Iverson should not. You know when Allen Iverson made that quotation fingers "magnanamous" gesture, when he first suggested standing aside to let Michael Jordan start in the All Star game, even when Iverson was the better player? (Which, by the way, was possibly the worst thing I've ever seen in my time following the NBA. Someone owes Vince Carter a big friggin' apology.) Well, now is the time for another such gesture. It's not meant as disrespect, Allen, but these other players are better than you now. You won't lose fans if you did so, and even if you did, you clearly have way too many anyway. Let's make this happen.
Similarly, if Yi Jianlian gets in, let's boycott the damn thing.
4) Really don't see the point in New York overpaying for Carlos Delfino, but, whatever. It can't hurt.
5) Short baseball tangent: people out there are trying way too hard to put a negative slant on the fact that the Yankees just signed both the best hitter and the best pitcher on the market. You don't have to like the any, but at least acknowledge that this is what they did. Like every team in the world, they needed an ace and a excellent slugger. Unlike every team in the world, though, they were able to get them.
6) No, I don't trust the source either, but if Sacramento trades John Salmons to Toronto for Andrea Bargnani and a first round pick, that is all kinds of good news for the Kings. John Salmons's value physically cannot get any higher right now, unless he were to start averaging 30 points. He's playing extremely well, tied in on a remarkably cheap contract, and in the prime of his career. This also isn't a fluke - he put on much the same performance to start last year, when injuries again cleared the way for him. If John Salmons is not traded by Sacramento before the deadline, that's a big old misstep they've made there. Particularly after committing so much money to the wing pairing of Kevin Martin and Francisco Garcia.
7) I realise that things haven't gone quite right since he did it, but why is Stephen Jackson thinking about a trade only five weeks after signing an extension? And, from the same article, quite why the hell hasn't Chris Mullin quit? He has nothing to gain from pissing in the wind, and he'll get another gig with another team soon enough.
8) In keeping with this website's policy of never bringing you any news that is worth knowing, here's a scandalous and pathetic story about Raptors anticlimax Jermaine O'Neal touching the arse of a woman whose life and career revolves around her ability to fellate famous people. Superhead, meet Superforehead.
9) The previous joke was stolen from a superior person.
10) Merry Christmas to you and yours. My life is in a good place right now, and I hope that yours is too. If it isn't, it will be.
Free agent forward Darius Miles arrived in Memphis early Saturday morning and signed a nonguaranteed contract with the Grizzlies following a physical examination.
I'm hungry. Anybody in the position I'm in, and has been through what I've been through the past two years, if he's not hungry he shouldn't waste anybody's time," Miles said. "I'm hungry. I ain't quitting. I feel like I can still do this. I wouldn't even waste the Grizzlies' time if I felt like my career was over."
"We got very good reports from Boston that he was really getting close to what he used to be," Griz coach Marc Iavaroni said.
"We're taking a shot to see if he's a guy who can resurrect his career and help us," Griz general manager Chris Wallace said. "We need to find more veterans not just so much for leadership but for production on the court. We need guys who have been there a little bit."
Everyone's saying the right things, at least. And the Grizzlies do indeed need veterans, as well as just more talent. But the cynical side of me thinks they might have an ulterior motive.
The point of that whole draft day deal with Minnesota was not just to trade up to get O.J. Mayo, but also to create some cap space. With the contracts of Antoine Walker and G-Buck not guaranteed past this season, Memphis took on the extra year of Marko Jaric's salary in order to open up $6 million in cap space next summer, a saving afforded by moving the salaries of Mike Miller and Brian Cardinal for the two aforementioned unguaranteed deals. Mike Miller isn't the kind of player you gift away, but when doing so gets you a valuable trade-up and $6 million more in your already decent caproom, it's worth it. Memphis, along with Oklahoma City, will now have oodles of cap room to work with next summer, and even if free agents aren't big on the idea of signing there, Memphis will at least be able to pursue whoever they want.
The thing is, though, that Portland also figures to have cap room. Quite a bit of it, in fact. Even after Martell Webster's extension, it only takes the renouncements of insignificant players such as Ike Diogu, Channing Frye and Raef LaFrentz, plus the waivings of decent backups Steve Blake and Travis Outlaw (note: they're decent backups in an ideal world, if not currently), and Portland suddenly has 8 figures of cap room. General Manager Kevin Pritchard has spoken about how he's trying to trade LaFrentz's salary, which would scupper any cap room chances, but Outlaw and Blake signed deals with unguaranteed final seasons for this very reason: Portland has 2009 cap room aspirations, and always has.
Those cap room aspirations will be roundly buggered, though, if Darius Miles plays ten games with somebody else. If this happens, Miles's significant salary ($9 million each of the next two seasons) is put back on Portland's books, after it had initially been taken off due to Miles's medical retirement. However, playing ten games invalidates that medical retirement, and the salary would be on Portland's cap figure once again, making cap space an almost impossible (and entirely unworthwhile) aim.
(Reader's note: the ten games thing is not quite that simple, as I understand it, but that's the gist of it. Truth be told, I don't understand it especially well. There's something about an appeals process or something.)
Since they traded Javaris Crittenton to Washington, the Grizzlies have only 13 players under contract, and Hamed Haddadi is in the D-League. This leaves Antoine Walker on the active list, despite him having not played a minute all year, being out of shape (for a change) and being out of the team's plans. Therefore, the Grizzlies can easily leave Miles on the active list even for the ten games of his drug-related suspension. After that, he just needs ten games as a 10th man, and suddenly Memphis loses one of its few competitors in next year's free agency market. All for the $500,000-or-so cost of having Darius Miles around for 6 months.
And that's just a bargain.
Of course, maybe Im being overly cynical. It's happened before, many a time. Maybe they have only the best of intentions, and really think that Miles will provide a lot both on and off (HA!) the court for them. But somehow I doubt it.
As you might presently yourself fully be aware of, my grammar sucks. Also, you might have noticed that nothing has happened around here lately. Well, it's OK, I'm here.
Thanks to those of you who showed genuine concern as to whether I was maimed, imprisoned, dead, or worse. You're very compassionate, kind-hearted and sincere, traits that will inevitably lead to a joyful existence on the heavenly half of the afterlife. Conversely, fuck off to those of you who showed anger and resentment at my lack of posting and/or site updates, as if I was in some way contractually obliged to do what you want, when you wanted it. May I remind you that this is a free website, with no adverts, greatly superior to every comparable website on the internet (particularly with regards to the colour scheme) run by a man who frankly you should spend a good 90 minutes of every day praising, rejoicing, and fellating. You'll get what you're given, as and when I choose to give it. You hell-destined bar stewards.
The actual answer to the age-old question of "where the hell were you?" is that I was on holiday. I went to the Costa Del Sol, in November, escaping the classic British grey of November time. So you can see why that was more fun than calculating Rob Kurz's salary for the remainder of the season.
Do you want to see my holiday photos? Ch'yeah you do! Here are some of my holiday photos!
The Sun. It was hot. I burnt.
My burn.
A fat woman whose arse seemed to have no seam. (Identity concealed, expertly.)
The mighty Grunkel television that kept us entertained with German versions of Remington Steele and soft core pornography all week long. No, I don't know why all Spanish television is German either.
A dog curling one out.
A dead fish.
Now that I've been sufficiently self-effacing and boring in equal measure, here are my thoughts on stuff, for all those who struggled to go a full week without my aggressive and misguided thoughts on stuff.
1: I didn't initially know who I liked the Denver/Detroit deal for most when it happened, if either. But in the week or so that I've spent lying on beaches not thinking about it, I've decided I like it for both teams. Detroit gets the better player and the best salary in Allen Iverson, which can never be a bad combination, while Denver switches up a core that was never going to work anyway, almost getting under the luxury tax in the process. (After Antonio McDyess's buyout, Denver is now no more than a small dollop over their eternal enemy, the luxury tax threshold. If they waft a pick Memphis's way, they should be able to dump Chucky Atkins, whose salary for next year is only $760,000 guaranteed, thus not affecting Memphis's 2009 cap space plan much. This move gets Denver under the tax, finally, and it need only cost them the pick that they got from Charlotte for Alexis Ajinca to do it. Also note that I'm just an ideas man, not a soothsayer. Houston would be sensible to do much the same with Steve Francis, who is entirely surplus to requirements in both Memphis and Houston, and whose salary is keeping the Rockets in the tax territory. But his expiring is tolerable for the Grizzlies with apt sweeteners. With those two deals, Memphis could gain two picks without changing their long or short term plans, while Houston and Denver save lots of money on players and picks that they don't need. To me, this makes sense. Does that mean it will happen? No. But, between now and February, I'd place a call. Boy, this bracket got a bit long.)
(Oh, by the way - the combined $34 million in expirings that Detroit can now offer up with Iverson and Rasheed Wallace makes that Kwame Brown deal look even worse. Whoops.)
2: I forgot to post my Houston and Phoenix previews before going away. If you want them, send an email. Enclose money.
3: I really can't stand Bob Ortegal. In the years that I've listened to him, I can't remember one single insightful or interesting comment. Now, history tells me that when you question a team's announcing duo, fans of that team will then try to kill you with words and insults, so I expect Dallas fans to now do much the same. But, seriously. Take a step back and reanalyse. He's awful. There's no chemistry, no humour, no insight and you know for a bloody fact that he's never watched a game that he hasn't commentated on. (For example, take Dallas's preseason game versus Chicago. Ortegal admits he's never seen Derrick Rose play before, concludes after two drives that Rose only goes to his left, and then spends the rest of the night finding excuses for every time Rose went right. That's so dumb, I should have said it.) There exists only a dull, repetitive retelling of what the replay he's "analysing" depicts. And any old bastard can do that. I just wanted to vent this.
4: The Bulls suck in a variety of ways, which is a shame. Good luck John. (By the way, last night I dreamt that Paxson unretired and filled the Bulls current backup point guard void, proof if it were needed that I didn't have any fleeting holiday romances. After having seen they signed Lindsey Hunter, I kind of wish it had come true.)
5: In keeping with this website's continued attempts to be better than everybody else, here's next year's free agents.
6: When it happened, I nearly wrote something in this blog about the Pau Gasol trade. In contrast to the opinions of everyone else in the world, I was keeping to leap in and defend the Grizzlies' end of the trade. But I didn't, because I couldn't be bothered. I've rued that laziness for a while, so let me go on the record now, despite it being a bit late since the secret of the awesomeness of Marc Gasol got out: Memphis did all right. When your mandate is to make a salary dump, and you wind up getting the second biggest expiring contract in the league, you're off to a good start. But in addition to that, the Grizzlies got good young talent that people don't acknowledge. As well as Kwame Brown's salary, the Grizzlies got back Javaris Crittenton (good young guard, with emphasis on the "young" - he's still only 20), and the rights to Marc Gasol (a starting calibre NBA centre, whether you knew of this in advance or not). The Grizzlies also two first round picks from the Lakers, one of which has become Darrell Arthur, their 20 year old starting power forward formerly thought to be a high lottery pick. They still have their other pick to come, along with almost double maximum cap room, while taking back not one bad contract or inconsequential player in the deal. That's a good return on a one-time-All-Star power forward, particularly when you only wanted to dump salary.
What we may have witnessed here is a win-win trade, where both teams get what they wanted and improved as a result. This should be the result of every trade, and we shouldn't try to find only one winner to the deal. The Lakers clearly benefitted greatly from the deal, but Memphis won too. Yes, such a conclusion is entirely possible.
There. The balance is redressed. Now take out the bits about Darrell Arthur, and pretend I wrote that in February.
The Knicks have a trade proposal on the table with the Memphis Grizzlies that would see Darko Milicic and Marko Jaric dealt to New York in exchange for Zach Randolph.
OK, I get it. I do. I really do.
"Here, take Zach Randolph! Take this extremely talented player who just so happens to play at your weakest position! Nooooooo, we don't want anything back! You just take him!"
I get that. When your job is to improve your team, and you are offered a highly talented basketball player for essentially free, it's a tough one to turn down. And Zach Randolph really is highly talented.
But he's also Zach Randolph. And therein lies the problem.
For all of Zach's talents, his play has never been efficient, sensible, or highly profitable. Just by playing him, you lose an untold amount on defense, something which Randolph simply cannot do. And for all his versatility and skill as an offensive player, Zach has never had the sense or awareness to fit into an offense efficiently - Randolph is a career .465 shooter starting his offense from increasingly near the three point line, and with an intense aversion to passing. Bear in mind, this is a man once berated for selfishness by former teammate, Nick Van Exel. And Nick Van Exel knows a thing or two about selfishness.
The problem is exacerbated when looking at Memphis's other big men. Out of Hamed Haddadi, Hakim Warrick, Darrell Arthur, Marc Gasol and Antoine Walker, who represents a good pairing for Zach? Who is the weakside shotblocker to counteract Zach's complete failure in that area? There's a bit there, mainly coming from Gasol, but there's not much. Additionally, if Marc Gasol is to start at centre - and it looks like he has to - then how do you pair him and Randolph on offense? Pairing Randolph with a man who plays within 3 feet of the rim at all times (Eddy Curry) went painfully badly last season, so how much different will it be with Gasol? How does Zach fit?
Take a wider look at the roster, and the same applies. The Memphis roster is a symposium of good young talent and veterans that they're stuck with. In Rudy Gay and Orange Juice Mayonnaise (readers note: that joke wasn't funny, nor mine), the Grizzlies have two talented young scorers, and a roster rounded out with complimentary athleticism, defensive versatility and scoring talent. However, outside shooting remains a concern, and there remains a big hole at power forward. There's also a big rebounding hole on a team that was outrebounded by 2.9 boards a game last year, good for only 25th in the league.
Now Zach Randolph is a power forward all right, and he's constantly armed with a good rebounding rate. But if anyone expects him to come in and be primarily a rebounder, in the role that David Lee refused to fill, then they're either eternally optimistic, or privy to some blackmail that the rest of us aren't. No one has been able to convince Zach Randolph that his future lies in the post for a while now, and a year under the stewardship of Isiah Thomas is not good news for any player who struggles to understand their limitations.
The current reported trade talk sees Memphis giving New York nothing more than Marko Jaric and Darko Milicic. That is something, at least. Milicic is a player who has failed to pan out for three teams, and Marko is someone Memphis didn't want in the first place. The two players combine to earn $35,860,000 over the next three years, and they represent the two worst contracts that the Grizzlies have. (Readers note: Antoine Walker's contract is longer and bigger, but it's also fully unguaranteed beyond this year. And that's why Memphis wanted it in the first place. Same with Greg Buckner, sort of.) The next three years of Zach Randolph will pay him $48 million, and the cap hold for the first two years will be only a minor increase over what Darko and Marko currently take up. The only significant cap hit comes in the 2010/11 season, where Randolph will earn $17,333,333 to Jaric's $7,625,000, with Milicic already expired. But, as the Grizzlies have only 5 players under contract at that time, that isn't relevant of right now. The cost of obtaining Randolph is as low as it can be: two mostly insignificant bench players, who also have the franchise's two largest contracts.
But is that minimal price still too much for Zach Randolph?
It's a high risk move, clearly. But it's only a high reward move if the Zach Randolph of 2006/07 turns up, the one who put up a flawed but sexy 24 points and 10 rebounds a game. The one who wasn't as bad as usual on defense. The one who stayed largely in the post. The one who didn't complain too much. The one who was in the best shape of his life. The one who produced. To make this trade worthwhile, Memphis needs that Randolph back. But even after such a career best season, Portland were willing to trade him for nothing. Portland would rather pay Steve Francis $30 million to not turn up,rather than have even the good version of Randolph back. Warning sirens aplenty. If they get this Zach Randolph back, then they will be trading for the highest paid non-All Star of all time, and making a $48 million investment in a painful player with a painful contract and a temperamental history.
Risky. Too risky.
Will we ever see the better Randolph again? I don't know the answer, and I don't know about this trade. I get it, but......dude.
After the completion of the Grizzlies's second consecutive piss poor season, Spanish guard Juan Carlos Navarro immediately returned to his native Spain.
And why wouldn't he? A free agent this offseason, Navarro has been roundly stiffed by Memphis, who have managed to mismanage his situation rather spectacularly, in the way that only they know how. Let's recap:
1: Memphis traded a protected first rounder to Washington for the draft rights to Navarro.
2: They then sign Darko Milicic to a big deal, taking up most of their cap space..
3: Then, the Grizzlies completely inexplicably sign Casey Jacobsen and Andre Brown to minimum salary deals before completing negotiations with Navarro, as well as sign Mike Conley to his rookie deal (thus making his cap number 120% of the scale, not the 100% that was billed before he signed.)
As a result, they were left with only just above the minimum left from their cap room to give Navarro ($538,050), after he had already sealed his buyout with Barcelona. Navarro, as a result, had to take the only offer that Memphis could give him - one made unnecessarily piss poor by those stupid and inconsequential Jacobsen and Brown signings - and wound up playing for an overall financial loss last season.
Memphis then sucked gargantuan ass all year, and also traded away Juan's mate, Pau Gasol.
In the end, Navarro left Europe to come to the NBA, where he was treated with less money, less minutes, less acclaim, less wins, and less friends than he had just left his native country for.
So no, I shouldn't imagine that he's entirely sold on the idea of coming back.
Good ol' Memphis. They handled this well. They're a fine organisation at heart.
Do you ever stop and think about that time that Mark Madsen shot seven three pointers in an overtime game, when Minnesota and Memphis had the most blatant tank-off that history has ever seen? No, nor did I. That is, not until this morning, when I woke up thinking about it.
(For those unaware of what the hell I'm talking about, here's a box score.)
It's not an entirely normal thing to wake up thinking about, even for the most hardcore Madsen fans amongst us. (For we are all Mark Madsen fans. Obviously.) But some part of this must have ruffled my feathers, stoned my crows and enraged my loins, because this was all that i could think about for about 3 minutes after waking up.
It is now a permanent blot on the NBA landscape. The situation Minnesotas found themselves in - not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough to suck mightily without trying to - left them deliberately trying to lose games. It needn't have done, but General Manager extraordinaire Kevin McHale had already pissed away Minnesota's first rounder that season, as it was owed to the L.A. Clippers along with Sam Cassell in exchange for the mesmeric insignificance of Lionel Chalmers, along with Marko Jaric and his bevvy of minge. The pick, however, had top ten protection, and so in order to be able to keep it, Minnesota had to lose with a bit more regularly and finesse than they were doing up until that point.
They did this with aplomb, telling Kevin Garnett to stop playing (or so we thought), playing their better players for merely token minutes, and letting their worse players do whatever the hell they want, in what then-head coach Dwane Casey called "letting them have some fun" (read: "playing really badly so that we lose".)
The fact that they met an equally tanking Memphis team, who were tanking for a different reason, was an unfortunate coincidence. Memphis had comfortably made the playoffs, but was trying to lose for a different reason - they were residing in the fifth spot, with the Clippers in sixth. Whoever finished 5th would face the 60-22 Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the playoffs, without homecourt advantage, but whoever finished 6th would face Denver with homecourt advantage. After *accidentally* losing four of their last five games, the Clippers secured the worst (and, thus, the best) seed, in spite of Memphis's valiant efforts on the final day.
(The Clippers then beat Denver comfortably. The Grizzlies were swept by Dallas even more comfortably. Memphis were right not to want it.)
The whole exchange highlighted two key flaws in the NBA's system - the new playoff system and the protection of draft picks. The playoff system has been somewhat resolved, as the possibility of a team finishing lower down the seedings than a team with an inferior record has been decreased with the new decision to grant division winners no less than a top four seed, as opposed to a guaranteed top three seed. But the other situation remains intact, with lottery teams able to lose at will to either retain traded picks, or better their lottery chances. And it remains a travesty based around a communist idea of parity.
(The draft lottery isn't a million miles away from what Stalin was trying to do. Remember that.)
At this point, this post would benefit greatly from a well thought out and heavily critiqued suggestion for a better way of going about these things, so that such a deplorable situation won't ever happen again. (The concept of teams deliberately trying to lose is still prevalent - Miami, for example, has told Dwyane Wade to stop playing, and Memphis recently gifted away Pau Gasol just to take them out of purgatory.) However, as mentioned at the top, this post had a mere three minutes of thought, and so I haven't got one.
Any scenario in which teams are deliberately losing, though, is a gaping flaw in the otherwise well-constructed NBA machine. Therefore, it gives me something to bitch about. And so, I did. Quietly. To myself. For about three minutes.
Coincidentally (and it really was), a report came out on this very day (note: this note was not published on the day that it was written, which was the 18th) on the subject of Minnesota's recent tanking.
Responding to claims that his team tanked it down the stretch in recent years to improve draft position, Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor fired a barb at Kevin Garnett on Tuesday, as reported by Yahoo.com.
Taylor pointed out that Garnett, who was traded to the Celtics this offseason, took himself out of the lineup late last season and missed the last five games with a sore right quadriceps.
“It was more like, I’d say, K.G. tanked it,” Taylor told the Pioneer Press. “I think the other guys still wanted to play, but (the loss of Garnett) sure changed the team and didn’t make us as (good).”
While the quote may have been taken out of context, or Taylor had not necessarily said what he meant, it does sure as shit look like he is trying to pass the blame onto this entire situation onto Garnett's shoulders. This hardly seems entirely fair, given the Madsen situation that inspired this post. But it DID lead to me googling Glen Taylor's name, and thus seeing for the first time a picture of his grin.
Bit late, but, whatever. I was busy. The game took place many days ago now, but dammit, I had taken all the notes and so I had to write them up, even if no one now cares. So here they are.
- It is partly a coincidence that I have the Blazers picked for the second straight week, but partly planned. This seemed like the most appetising game on the menu featuring two of my favourite teams, with youg talent oozing out of every orifice and the chance to get a fresh Casey Jacobsen fix. Win, lose or draw, I'm determined to enjoy myself. And given that I have mancrushes on about 20 of the players on show tonight, that should happen without me forcing it too much.
- Extremely early on, Mike Miller makes a sexy looking finger roll, and I'm happy. I think you should know that the excellence of Mike Miller is going to be a theme in this post, in spite of the fact that he played quite badly. Brian Cardinal will also feature heavily. Leave now if this offends you. By the way, my man crushes aren't exclusive to white people, as you will soon see.
- Damon Stoudamire is starting for the Grizzlies to begin this season, despite the two players behind him - Kyle Lowry and Mike Conley - being way better than him. It's an obvious showcase situation that just might work, for Damon looks to have a pep in his step that hasn't been seen since the day he put up 54 points and 0 rebounds as a Blazers. Hurtling towards 35, with 12 years of experience and some knee surgeries behind him, Damon looks to be catching a second wind of sorts. And that's a good thing. There will probably now be a trade made with him at the deadline. Quietly, I'm hoping that Boston is interested. It's not especially likely, but there's a chance that it could happen. And this might mean that Brian Cardinal and Brian Scalabrine wind up on the same team at the same time. Get excited, Memphis.
- Channing Frye, starting tonight for Portland, hits a 22 foot jumpshot. Two possessions later, he airballs a hookshot. I don't want to say Malik Allen, but he's headed that way, and it's depressing. He has so much more than that.
- In a high energy start to the game (which I was hoping for), there's a lot of coast to coastage going on. Martell Webster misses an easy fastbreak layup, the ball is down the other end of the court within about half a second, and Rudy Gay crushes home a dunk just like Webster should have done. This causes Blazers colour commentator Mike Rice to utter his first stupid comment of the day, remarking that Gay looked Pippen-like on that finish. Easy there, Mike. It was only an uncontested dunk.
- People have to stop calling Pau Gasol soft, you know. Half of his offensive possesions involve catching the ball at the elbow and clattering his way wildly towards the hoop, drawing fouls. That's not soft. It's ugly and a bit clumsy, but it's not soft. And it works. Let's disband the myth.
- Mike Rice calls Darko Milicic "Millisits", twice. More to follow.
- In what is currently a swishfest, Webster and Frye hit jumpshots as Portland takes a 9-6 lead, On another breakaway, Rudy Gay airballs a layup. Mike Rice doesn't mention Scottie Pippen this time.
- A few possessions later, Gay spins from the top, hangs in the air, hits the foul line jumpshot and draws a foul. Rice describes it as a "H.O.R.S.E. shot from the YMCA!". I only have one question - what actually IS a YMCA? I'm not very worldly, you see. I'm also highly influenced and seem to believe it's something to do with gay cowboys. Please help set me straight.
- Mike Rice just called Millisits "Darko". Good move. Probably best to put that whole surname thing to bed.
- I think I've found a reason why Memphis loses. They run very hard one way, and waddle the other. Yeah, that needs fixing.
- Portland head coach Nate McMillan is sporting a rakish if somewhat brave tie. Hats off to him. There's no need for the stoicism provided by most ties. Be daring. It's not a huge statement, but it's something.
- LaMarcus Aldridge blocks a Stoudamire layup attempt, caushing play by play commentator Mike Barrett to shout "don't bring that into LaMarcus Aldridge country". Unfortunately, he didn't say that, as he got distracted and tailed off towards the end, missing a syllable. You can guess which,
- Fresh from his Darko Millisits magic, Rice follows up by calling Gasol "Paul", which is something that I thought the whole NBA world had gotten over about 4 years ago. I sigh at this point.
- Marc Iavaroni has a hell of a forehead on him, it has to be said. He also has something of a profound neck going on there, and it's a good combination, even if it does make him look a bit like a librarian. Incidentally, speaking of awesome coaches foreheads, come join in the fun that is the "Draw things on Scott Skiles's forehead game. It's childish, but so am I.
- I love Mike Miller. But I don't think matching him up against Brandon Roy is going to be especially fair here. I hope I'm wrong.
- It's just occured to me that the arena in which Portland play is the Rose Garden, and that Lynn Anderson sung about such a thing all those years ago. So I've finally made the connection that the rest of the free world made about 25 years ago. Hooray!!
- Memphis is running a lot of post-up plays for Millisits, and three times already, Darko has gone left and made short hook shots. Why do so many post defenders let left handed players go left with ease? It made Othella Harrington's entire career, dammit. At some point you need to train yourself to know what's coming.
- Pau Gasol eats Aldridge alive on the defensive end, as LaMarcus doesn't challenge the shot in any way, but does manage to foul. For all of Aldridge's improved offense, this isn't the first time recently that his head isn't into it on defense. It's a shame because he's good at it. I hope he doesn't become like Rasheed Wallace. And the whole of Portland is probably hoping that too.
- In my notes, I have written down how Jarrett Jack has come into the game and gone straight to the shooting guard position with Brandon Roy running the point guard duties. However, in my rushed short hand, I've written only "Jack off", which needed to be shared. Thank God Rudy Gay's name wasn't in that note.
- This game is still fun. With three minutes lin the first, Memphis is leading 24-21. It's pretty fast stuff.
- Ghostface Przybilla checks into the game as McMillan tries to find a way of stopping Milicic and Gasol, who have scored freely inside. So that's now three of my favourite players of all time on the floor at once, with Miller, Gasol and Przybilla out there.
- Speaking of, in comes Casey Jacobsen. Awesome.
- Barrett reads out the stat that 22 of Memphis's first 26 points have come from in the paint, and you haven't needed to be watching very hard to believe him. Things have been rather pourous in there. Straight away after Przybilla enters the game, Mike Miller shoots a three and misses. Yeah, you're right to to be scared, Mike.
- Darko goes for another left handed hook, and misses qutie short on it. He was defended on the play by Joel Przybilla (obviously), whose strength and general brilliance made Darko take the shot from about 3 or 4 feet away from where he shot his earlier ones that he made. It's fair to say that Joel Przybilla is a game changer.
- Roy shoots a fadeaway, and misses, but the Blazers get the offensive rebound. I'll let you guess who did it. CLUE = It rhymes with Noel Przykilla.
- Does referee Jimmy Clark dye his hair or his eyebrows?
- Going up for a dunk, Przybilla gets partially blocked, and gets the ball wedged between the rim and the backboard. Strength, tenacity, persistence, ineptitude. The total Przybilla package, all yours for only $6 million a year. I want one.
- A three possession run sees Przybilla grab an offensive rebound, block a shot by Mike Conley, then grab another offensive rebound. I appreciate that the Przybilla talk may be getting annoying, but right now he's dominating this entire game and it's hard to not talk about him. I need a suitable distraction.
- Ah, there's one. Kyle Lowry enters the game. I'm a massive fan of Kyle Lowry, as everybody should be. He's the next Jason Kidd. Bollocks to Mike Conley. This now means that Memphis is sporting the perimeter trio of Lowry, Jacobsen and Miller, which makes me a truly happy bunny.
- Mike Barrett reminds us all that tonight is Greg Oden bobblehead night. Hmmm. Maybe they should have rescheduled that.
- During an advert break, an advert for Adidas or whoever it was comes on, and Dwyane Wade comes on, looking moody, then shouts "Der-WAAAAAAAYNE, WADE". I'm not sure how this helped advertise the product, nor how anyone could find it enthralling or otherwise. But hey ho, I'm just a cynical bastard.
- The same advert break cuts back just in time for us viewers to catch the last few seconds of the Dunking Elvises (Elvii?) trampoline spectacular slamball thing. It was awesome. I'd watch about an hour of that and the grin on my face would never waver. Make it an all-star event. Make the competitors wear fancy dress. Do this now.
- Memphis scores 6 quick points to stretch the lead out to 32-23. And at this point I've just noticed that Mike Conley, Tarence Kinsey, Hakim Warrick (injured) and Brian Cardinal aren't in the game, and haven't been at any point. Memphis, if you need help in rehoming any of those 4, get me a job as an NBA GM and I'll gladly assist.
- Mike Rice called Hakim Warrick "War Wig". There's plenty more from The Mike Rice Show to come, but as you may have gathered, I'm not a fan. This is because he is crap.
- Pau Gasol has 17 of Memphis's 32 points, coming on 8-9 shooting. I say this only to re-emphasis how sloppy Portland's interior defense has been so far. Paul is repeatedly going at Aldridge, and winning. Concern.
- Hey, Tarence Kinsey is in! Cool. I like Kinsey. But if any two players were going to get in ahead of him, then I'm glad it was Jacobsen and Miller.
- A Memphis offensive possession sees Casey Jacobsen stand in the corner with his arms up for 12 seconds, then running back on defense. This is why I love Casey Jacobsen and his one dimensional genius. He looked genuinely upset that he didn't get to shoot.
- Kyle Lowry is the next Jason Kidd. I've mentioned this before and I'll mention it again.
- As much as I like Mike Miller, he really could use a more heterosexual choice of headband.
- Right on cue, Mike Miller goes to posterise Joel Przybilla, going up strong for the dunk. There can only be one winner. And naturally, it's Joel Przybilla, as he meets Mikey at the top and blocks the ball away. A part of me dies watching this, but again, as above - if Miller's going to lose out to someone, then it would have to be Przybilla. It makes it all right.
- Memphis assistant coach Johnny Davis looks like the result of one of those image morphing websites, With this in mind, I used one such program and tried to restore Davis's head to that of a normal person. The results were, um, staggering.
Before:
After:
It didn't need to be done, but it has been, and it was educational.
- Memphis leads 40-28 at this moment, with only one turnover. They're playing crisply on offense and Portland is doing little about this, particularly on the inside as we have already covered. Annoyingly, Mike Rice is using every opportunity possible to spew forth bilious hate towards the rookie referee in charge of this game, whose name he chooses not to use, instead running with the term "the rookie ref". Rice seems to believe that all his calls are to be questioned because of who he is, and that he isn't worthy to call a foul on a Portland player. It's very annoying to say the least, and it's going to feature in upcoming stanzas. So read on, loyal viewer.
- Joel Przybilla blocks a Darko Milicic dunk. Like any other eventually was even possible.
- Mike Miller commits a foul, and protests it. Mike Barrett mentions how Mike Miller has "never committed a foul [in his own mind]", and Mike Rice likened Mike Miller's complaining to that of Tim "Mike" Duncan. This post isn't necessary, I just wanted to say Mike a lot. Mike Mikey Mike Mike.
- Conley enters the game, upping the Mike tally one further. Bizarrely but not exepectedly, he goes straight into the backcourt alongside Mike Lowry, who stays in the game. This has to make you think - despite Lowry being far from a sure thing, especially after such a short run last season, it's obvious to anyone that he's really good. He's a point guard of the future calibre prospect for this team. So why then did they draft another one at 4 this year, even if Mike Conley is really good? Do they foresee a situation in which the two can play a lot alongside each other, or do they want a T.J. Ford/Jose Calderon thing going on? Neither of those scenarios would be bad, but they aren't necessarily optimum use of assets. So we'll see how this plays out.
- Immediately, Conley breaks a full court press, glides past the defense (if that's what it's called) of Steve Blake, and draws an and-1 on Przybilla. Maybe that's why they drafted him, then.
- The rookie referee calls LaMarcus Aldridge for hooking as he made his move down low. Instantly, Mike Rice once again calls into question this referee's tenacity and reasons for being alive, condemning him spitefully and mercilessly. He ignores, of course, that it was actually a foul.
- Sideline reporter Rebecca Haarlow - who may or may not be fit, she's too silhouetted to really see - interviews the wife of Darius Miles about her upcoming child birth. In response to Haarlow's question of "what are you doing to get ready?", Brandi Miles replies "Praying", which seems odd. But it's not as odd as the Blazers actually acknowledging that Miles is still a part of the organisation. I can't say I saw that coming.
- LaMarcus Aldridge commits a charge on Kyle Lowry, but the charging foul is not called. Replays clearly show that it was a missed call by the referee, who just so happens to be the immortal "rookie ref". However, since this no-call went Portland's way, Mike Rice chooses to overlook his nemesis's decision this time. Quel suprise.
- Mike Conley penetrates the lane and kicks out to Kyle Lowry, who hits a three.
- Kyle Lowry penetrates the lane and kicks out to Mike Conley, who hits a three. Yeah, I always knew this pairing would work out. Memphis leads 57-43. At this moment, Casey Jacobsen subs in, clearly in it for some three point shooting while the getting's good.
- Mike Rice calls Darko Millisits "Millishits". I'd like that to have been Freudian, but it wasn't. He's just bad at commentating.
- Mike Conley continues to destroy Steve Blake, which is more of a damning statement about Blake than it is an endorsement for Conley. Sitll, he looks good.
- It's now halftime, Memphis are leading 61-49, and I opt to enjoy one of the major advantages of taped delayed games - I skip straight to the second half, ignoring the tedious half time show. Yup.
- Damon Stoudamire is back out on the floor to start the second half, and Mike Rice is quick to congratulate him on being Damon Stoudamire. He calls him "Super Mouse", "one of my favourites", and a man who "knows everything about the game, like Danny Ainge". Make your own jokes here. I'll just roll my eyes at the Super Mouse thing.
- Steve Blake, would you PLEASE let Brandon Roy touch the ball? I know you're officially the point guard, but Roy is a better one of those than you are.
- Channing Frye is also back into the game, and he airballs a layup after expecting to draw contact that never came. Thw window is closing on this guy, I tell you.
- On another post move, Darko Milicic finally goes right. It's an alien concept to him, and he travels.
- Mike Barrett makes a good point - is Mike Miller shutting down Brandon Roy? Roy certainly hasn't done much yet, and Miller has chased him relentlessly off the ball, showing unusually good lateral quickness. So maybe he is shutting him down. Or maybe Steve Blake is shutting Roy down. Or maybe Roy's just doing his first half passiveness routine. Or all three.
- Super Mouse successfully runs a pick and roll with Millishits, who dunks the ball. While running back on defense, he inexplicably slaps himself in the face. I can only think that this was a Darius Miles shoutout that went a bit wrong.
- The Blazers are running some kind of promotion called the Steal Of The Game or something, in which you buy tickets for 10 games, get an 11th one free, and also get two free basketballs. Something like that, anyway. As Barrett reads out the scripted promotion speech for about the third time tonight, Rice randomly intercepts with the sentence "did you see what 'Sheed in Detroit the other night?". Barrett politely answers "yes", then continues with the rest of the speech. Barrett is a competent if not great announcer, but Mike Rice is making him look wonderful, beause of how bad Rice himself is. It's the ol' Joe Morgan and Jon Miller scenario in an NBA setting.
- It feels like only 5 years ago that Raef LaFrentz was a valued commodity and one of the league's best young centers. This is because it was. Capable of 5 blocks and 5 three pointers in any given night, LaFrentz was hot shit, , even if he couldn't stay healthy. And yet now, not far down the line, the injuries have caught up with him and he's left as an incredibly expensive DNP-CD machine. Upsetting, really. I like the fella. And he also looks like the drummer out of Scouting For Girls, a band that you've never heard of, but who I'm publicising because I'm their friend and because I can. Buy their stuff. Do it now. And tell your friends.
- Brandon Roy steals the ball on back to back possessions, both of which lead to baskets. On the first trip he leads the break, and on the second he finishes it. This leads to Mike Barrett reading out the rather amazing statistic (if I heard him correctly) that Portland had only 3 steals all season up until tonight. That's such an anomaly that I might have simply misheard him. Naturally, I couldn't be arsed to look it up and be sure.
- Both of those steals came on errant passes from the high post by Pau Gasol, who then throws it away on a third straight possession before being bailed out by a foul call on Webster, the pass intercepter. Why Memphis is suddenly giving it to Pau in the high post, where he can't do much, instead of feeding him in the low post where he did so much damage earlier, is a bloody good question that no one seems to have asked. Memphis still leads, but the lead is cut to 63-59, and Portland has momentum.
- After a Steve Blake turnover, Mike Miller is blocked again on the ensuing break, this time by Webster. It leads to a fastbreak going the other way, which LaMarcus Aldridge finishes with an and-1. The momentum is still very much with Portland, and Brandon Roy is starting to take over the game, collapsing the defense at will and running the entire offense to great effect. Just one question - where was this in the first half?
- Mike Rice calls Kyle Lowry "Kyle Lorry". It's not an accent thing. He just can't say any names, it appears.
- Pau Gasol goes to the bench with 4 fouls. This is a good thing, because in comes Brian Cardinal. Woohooooo!! The run-stopper himself.
- Incdientally, while looking up the other day any nicknames Mike Miller may have, the only one that I could find for him was "Skinny". It's pretty apparent why he doesn't go by this any more, so we need to find Miller a new nickname. Apply within.
- Stromile Swift is also in, and almost immediately commits a turnover. People need to end the comparisons with him and Tyrus Thomas - apart from being athletic and from LSU, there's basically nothing to it. When Stromile can pass and dribble like Tyrus, let me know. Portland scores on the subsequent possession, and it's a one point game.
- At this point, Brian Cardinal takes and makes a no-doubt three from the corner. I told you he was a run stopper.
- On a post up, Cardinal goes to take the charge on Aldridge, falls, but doesn't get a call. Aldridge jumps over him, dunks, and then taunts the stricken Cardinal. Be careful there, champ. Brian Cardinals lash out when they get angry, and they can be a very volatile beast.
- Speaking of LaMarcus Aldridge, he's scoring a lot tonight, but a lot of it comes from opportunity baskets. This isn't a bad thing, for it shows good all around offense on Portland's part, particularly by Brandon Roy and good instincts of Aldridge's part. It's just worth nothing. He's continuing to prove, though, that he isn't nearly the one dimensional jumpshooting offensive player that his haters seem to pigeon hole him has. Basically I'm saying that he's not Channing Frye.
- On a call regarding the possession arrow after a strip, the rookie referee overrules the white-headed-dark-eyebrowed Jimmy Clark, giving possession to Portland instead of Memphis. Replays show that the rook was righ tto do this, as Clark got the call wrong. So, does Mike Rice credit the rookie ref, given that he achiueve the unlikely triple headeer of getting the call right, having the balls to overrule the old timer, and also give a decision in Portland's favour? Does he bollocks. Instead, he credits Clark for letting the rook overrule him. Sometimes you have to wonder if Rice believes in this misguided inflexible referee hierarchy thing that he seems to have invented. It sure looks that way.
- Mike Rice then promptly calls Steve Blake "Steve Beck". I'm picking a lot on Mike Rice here, but it's impossible not to. To coin a phrase, he's fucking shite.
- Stromile Swift does one of those statement blocks where instead of simply catching the ball or caroming it to a team mate, he swats it into the first row, allowing Portland to regain possession. Old dog, new tricks, and all that jazz.
- Travis Outlaw, quiet thus far, makes a nice finish on the break, also getting a foul shot courtesy of a Brian Cardinal foul. Mike Rice compares the finish by Outlaw to Jerry West. The comparison is valid, given that they have had similar careers. Well, sorta. One is on the NBA Logo recognised by millions and weas thie shit both as a player and a GM, and one backs up Channing Frye. But essentially they are equals.
- Not sure what I was trying to say here.
By the way, you know how women seem to love it when men have good handwriting? Well, I'm single. I think my handwriting reflects this.
- I truly appreciate Jarrett Jack's eyebrows. That is all.
- Stromile Swift commits an offensive foul as Przybilla takes charge. Mike Rice chooses that moment to heavily compliment the rookie ref for making the call. Wow. That was unexpected.
- On the ensuing possession, the rookie ref calls Travis Outlaw for a travel. Rice's comment: "I thought he [the ref] was improving". Again, the fact that the correct call was made gets overlooked. And I really don't think Rice said that with any hint of irony in his voice.
- We're treated to more Dunking Elvis action, and I'm still loving it. This should take place in the backround at all games at all times. I'm sold.
- Mike Rice asks the players of both teams to "bump and grind more". 'K.
- Cardinal turns down a wide (as in wiiiiiiiiide) open three, favouring the one-pass-too-many option instead. Apparently Brian Cardinals as a species don't get angry after all, but rather, they curl up into a ball like hedgehogs and wither. That's a shame.
- Darko Milicic is fouled on a missed layup, his fifth missed layup/dunk of the night. Mike Barrett - not deadpanning, just incorrect - mentions that Milicic has "been playing well tonight". A rare slip from Barrett, who is still being elevated to legendary status purely because of the inane sod next to him.
- This is the first game I've ever watched Mike Conley play. And I think I've gotten a pretty accurate scouting report on him - he's going left. Always.
- The game is tied at 79 after a Martell Webster three, one opened up from Brandon Roy once again collapsing the defense. Part way through last season, there were rumours about Brandon Roy playing point guard full time. These rumours were quickly shot down, and the signing of Steve Blake to go with Jarrett Jack and Sergio Rodriguez, as well as the drafting of Petteri Koponen and Taurean Green, seem to support the idea that it's not going to happen. However, given how good he is at it, it bloody well should. Or at least, they should bring in a high quality shooter and good defnsive player to play alongside him. Beck isn't it, and while Jack might be one day, he probably won't be. Ideas on a postcard please.
- Mike Rice double whammy - after Martell Grand National makes a defensive stop, Rice says "one time, you could make that play against Martell Webster, but not now in 207", and then calls Kyle Lowry "Lorry" for the second time. Both are seemingly meaningless slip-ups, but they are part of a long pattern of cock-ups that Rice has produced tonight. It's made weirder by the way that 8 words after calling him Lorry, and still in the same sentence, Rice manages to then get his name right. Strange times.
- I swear to God "Dude Looks Like A Lady" just played when Mike Miller was shooting a free throw.
- Mike Barrett comment during a Milicic miss - "inside to Darko, who hasn't scored in.....a couple of years". See, Mike Rice, that's how it's done. With good flow, correct names and some articulation, Barrett has managed to both make a funny and undo his previous mistake. Learn from this, and spend more than 8 seconds on your pre-game notes. If you took any.
- Darko is subbed out for Gasol, and pounds his chest on the way to the bench. This, plus the face slappage thing, make me believe that he's a bit of a masochist. Kinky.
- Straight away after the 4 foul Gasol re-enters, Portland goes straight at him, and LaMarcus Aldridge goes up with the left hand and finishes over him. Portland now leads 86-84 after trailing for most of the game, and they have nullified any consistent Memphis threat in the second half. Memphis haven't really had a plan, which hasn't helped. They've also slowed the pace right down after the earlier high tempo game was working for them, and this has played into Portland's hands. A Jarrett Jack three pointer makes it 89-84 to Portland.
- At this moment, the rookie referee calls an offensive three second violation on a Memphis player whose name I forgot to write down. Mike Rice treats this call with utter disdain, exclaiming "how can he call that?!?!?", citing the close end-game circumstance as his defense. He may have the vague outlines of a point had the offensive player not been there for nearer 14 seconds than three. Rice's hate for the rookie is renewed, as is mine for Rice. By the way, when I was aged 5, I ate a plate of rice and cabbage one day at school, and was then sick over my plate. I haven't deliberately eaten rice or cabbage since. True story. Dull story.
- "It must the the fourth quarter, for Brandon Roy has the ball in the middle". This observation by one of the Mike's At The Mikes is accurate, yet irritating - it doesn't need to be this way. Roy drives the lane, scores the bucket and a foul on Pau, misses the free throw, grabs his own offensive rebound, and makes a jumpshot from the wing. In case I haven't mentioned this before, Brandon Roy is the shit. Not shit, but THE shit.
- Jarrett Jack is having a good fourth quarter, and is now up to 14 points for the game after making a tough banker. I don't get why people underrate him so much, or why Portland seems so set to replace him. He's a nice player to have. Portland leads 95-90.
- Both teams have gone away from any kind of offensive strategy, and Brandon Roy and Roy gay take it in turns to isolate on every possession. Gay is quietly having a teriffic night with 30 points, but Portland has Roy, the edge, the home crowd and the momentum. Despite it being a close game with time left, you can't foresee Memphis winning it any more. Portland has just stepped up and taken it.
- On cue, Kyle Lowry grabs an offensive rebound and makes a putback with an and-1 possibility. Rice calls him "Mr Two Possession", the first Rice comment that I've agreed with. Watch Kyle Lowry destroy Dave Berri's Wages Of Wins ranking next season. It's going to happen.
- Jarrett Jack makes another three. Memphis has resumed a running game, pushing the ball on Portland makes like they did early to great effect, but it's a bit futile now, as Portland takes an insurmountable lead. Jack follows up his three with his third circus layup of the game, although it is wrongly waved off in favour of two free throws, both of which he makes.
- The final minute of the game is a free throw shooting contest, as Memphis tries in vain to close a near double digit Portland lead. Kyle Lowry misses two free throws as Portland makes theirs, helped out by a lane violation by a Memphis player with 22 seconds left (Mike Rice doesn't question the call, obviously). Portland closes out the game in a professional taking-care-of-business kind of way, and the better team won. The talent on show in this game was awesome, but Portland are that much further along in their development.
It's a game which, if you didn't watch it, you should have done. These two teams won't compete for anything this year, but they are two of the best young lineups in the league, both of whom know how to get out and run, making for exciting basketball. The fact that so many of my favourite white stiffs were on show as well was always a bonus. The game had something for everybody, and everything for somebody.
That somebody was me. I had a great time. I'd better go and write week three's game now.
Sham is a miserable and self-effacing little bastard, whose basketball opinions are often riddled with bias, insecurity, and rank immaturity. He has also never played the sport, and the only game he has ever been to see was a Ware Rebels game back in 2001. The night bus didn't show up and he had to walk the 9 miles home. It was after this that his passion for basketball really took off.
He considers himself to be Britain's foremost NBA expert, an arbitrary title that carries with it no basis in fact, or any worldly significance. He also wrote this section of the website in third person narrative, purely for reasons of arrogance.
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is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
