Summer signings, round 29

- The Nets figured out that they could use a point guard, given that they only have two right now, one of whom is a shooting guard. So they brought in their former player Eddie Gill, as well as GM Kiki Vanderweghe's former mistake, Julius Hodge. They also signed another old boy, Awvee Storey, as well as some fella called Brian Hamilton. Those two can now battle valiantly for two weeks for the spot of 7th small forward on the roster, before both being waived anyway. Tough life.

- Jiri Hubalek's replacement at Phoenix's training camp is a man known by the slightly superb name of Coleman Collins, who played for the Raptors in summer league. Also turning out for the Suns' camp are Robert Hite, a highly capable three point shooter, and Trey Johnson, whose name suggests that he should be.

- The Clippers added Curtis Sumpter amongst their list of camp signings, and just as I was about to write about how they still made this move after barely playing him in their summer league campaign, I then realised that it wasn't Curtis Sumpter who played for the Clippers in summer league, but Curtis Stinson! Haha! God! I bet Sumpter gets that, like, ALL the time!

- In other Clippers news, Jason Williams retired not long after signing with the team. Bugger! I was really hoping for a J-Dub Redux, so much so that I have mentioned it like 80 times. And now we won't have one. Damn shame.

- Chicago made easily the best training camp signings out of everyone, because they're the best franchise in the sport. Genius comes naturally to them, and these signings reflect that. But enough of this overused hubris - they did actually make two good signings with Elton Brown and Darius Washington, fringe NBA players who can bring something that the team otherwise lacks, were they to make the roster. Roger Powell has far less chance of doing anything, but at least they get "hometown boy makes hometown team" stories out of it.

- Orlando made three signings of their own, with forward Jeremy Richardson, center Dwayne Jones, and point guard Mike Wilks. Three of my favourite fringe NBA players, they are. But I bet only Wilks sticks. Shame.

- Francisco Garcia somehow got a 5 year, $30 million extension from the Kings, which is basically MLE money. This after one decent year. Based on last year's play, and last year's play only, is Garcia worthy of the MLE? No, not really. He learnt how to shoot, but only to the direct detriment of his defense. Yet somehow, the Kings think that this one semi-decent season from a soon to be 27 year old backup is worth giving him a 5 year novelty oversized extension. Okay. Have fun paying him $7 million when he's 32. (Note: if Garcia tunes his game to the point where he plays the average defense that he used to play, yet keeps his fancy new jumpshot as well, then this will be fine.)

- Sammy Mejia, former draft pick of the Pistons, has signed for a Greek team named AEL 1964 Larissa, whose name derives from a joyous union of some opticians, the seminal Beatles smash "I Want To Hold Your Hand", and a 6'4 black transexual hooker. Sounds like a good night in.

- Philadelphia fully committed to this training camp idea, bringing in four players, seemingly stuck on the "R" page of their available players directory. Maureece Rice is a short fat guard who can't play point guard and who just came off a pretty damn poor senior year, Antywane Robinson is a training camp veteran small forward with an affection for his unspectacular jumpshot, Jared Reiner is a legend, and Justin Reed is trying to get back into the league after being one of the better players in the D-League last year. Those last two have a chance, depending on how deep the Sixers want to go. The Sixers also signed veteran Andre Emmett, but he has far less of a chance.

- Miami signed Eddie Basden as a energetic defensive guard with no offensive talent, and Matt Walsh as a perimeter shooter. But, considering that the Heat have already signed Koobs Diawara and James Earl Jones for those two roles, both of whoom have considerably more guaranteed money coming to them, you can probably go ahead and say with some confidence that there ain't no way in hell they're making the team. The Heat also signed Omar Barlett and Tre Kelley for camp, the kind of signings that training camp is about - a 28 year old forward so obscure that I had to translate the Polish calendar to figure out when his birthdate is, and a small guard who goes by an alias unbefitting of his style of play. Good times. I love training camp, me.



This will be the last of the summer signings posts, by the way. This is partly because news has pretty much dried up, and that most news now is just training camp signings, which will be fully documented in another post. But mainly, it's because it's not summer any more.

We'll go out with a bang. Two bangs, in fact. You're getting banged from all angles. Giggidy.

- Former Atlanta Hawks forward Hanno Mottola retired from the game last week, while in theory still at his "peak". That's bang number one.

- Bang number two; the mighty Shawn Kemp comeback, mentioned before here, is over after precisely 0 games. Kemp showed up in reasonable shape, but then stopped showing up at all. After flying home briefly to the USA - ostensibly to check that his property was fine after recent hurricanes - Kemp never came back, and the team ended the experiment, on seemingly courteous terms. To replace Kemp, the team have signed former NBA brick shithouse Brandon Hunter.

That is all. Summer officially just ended. So sayeth the Lord.

Things We Should Totally Petition For, number 1

The Sacramento Kings are cultivating an annual tradition of frittering away their MLE. Since John Salmons, it's all gone Pete Tong. After last year using it to sign Mikki Moore for what will probably only be for two years - a move which will keep them entirely uncompetitive for that time - they've one-upped themsleves by throwing a full 5 year deal to last year's point guard starter, Beno Udrih. Last year was Beno's fourth in the NBA, and unlike the first three that he spent with the San Antonio Spurs, he didn't suck in it. So that helps to justify matters, ever so slightly.

(Readers note: If you can't see why it isn't necessarily a good idea to be committing 5 years of big salary to a guy who has only played one good year in his career, a good year that coincidentally happened to be the year that the money was about to dry up, then you weren't watching the Darius Miles experience particularly intently. But then again, maybe Beno really did genuinely break out, as he sure as hell looked a lot better last year. Then again, now that he's earning $33 million, he'll have to.)

Hopefully, though, this isn't the end of the Kings point guard search. After drafting Sean Singletary in the second round, the Kings now have two actual point guards, even if they aren't very good. They can also pretend, sort of, that wing players Salmons, Francisco Garcia and Q-Doub are able to play point guard in an emergency.

But I think we would all rather see them bring back Jason Williams. Wouldn't you?

The Adelman era Kings of the early part of this decade are gone. Those awesome teams, full of depth, running, passing and choking, are no more. Vlade Divac is long gone. Doug Christie is short gone. So is Chris Webber. Mike Bibby now plays for Atlanta, and doesn't do so very well. Bobby Jackson keeps the Rockets bench warm, Keon Clark has a new favourite kind of court, and Peja Stojakovic is on the Hornets, being paid way, way, way too much. The only players to still be any good are Brad Miller - who is also the only remaining Kings player - and Hedo Turkoglu, who just surprised the hell out of us all by winning the MIP award.

Signing White Chocolate isn't going to bring back the glory days, partly because everyone else has left, and partly because Jason Williams isn't very good any more. And yet...you know what? Maybe there's a second wind in there somewhere. Hobbled as he appeared to be in Miami, Williams also looked somewhat bored and misused, being primarily used as a defender and spot-up shooter, two things he was never much good at. The knees also don't look good, and Williams is also about to turn 33. But even if they lose the ability to do much with it, it's very far-fetched for a player to just entirely lose their understanding of passing angles, and despite Williams' steady career-long metamorphosis into a controlled, sensible point guard, he could still push the ball if he had people to run with him. (Note: that last point is entirely speculative.)

The Kings can offer this. Kevin Martin can run. Salmons can run. Mikki Moore can really run. Udrih doesn't milk shot clocks too much. Garcia did a surprisingly successful Stojakovic impression last year. Patrick Ewing Jr thrives when running, so I'm told. Same with Jason Thompson, apparently. Brad Miller doesn't move too good, but his quality passing skills can help out. Shareef Abdur-Rahim and Kenny Thomas will be about as much use as a chocolate teapot, but then, aren't they anyway?

Let's make it happen. They have a Bi Annual Exception - use it on Jason Williams. The Kings are pencilled in for another season of mediocrity, looking likely to win about 35 games once again. They probably won't make the playoffs, and if they do, they won't get anywhere. They're also too good to accidentally lose, and it would take a decimation of their rotation to make them try and do it on purpose.

So why not have a little fun with it?