Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 25

Due to an excessive amount of recent studies, this list has fallen a touch behind schedule. Therefore, the aim for a bit is to do two a day. If you hate them, this will probably suck for you.

- Sergiy Gladyr

After being drafted by the Atlanta Hawks this summer, Gladyr left the Ukraine for the first time and moved to the ACB to play with Suzuki Manresa (formerly known as Ricoh Manresa). Manresa have an 11-13 record on the season, yet they're comfortably in the middle of the table, currently placing 10th out of 18 ACB teams. Gladyr is third on the team in scoring with a 9.9ppg average, alongside 2.1 rebounds, 3.6 fouls and no other significant statistics per game. For a shooter, though, he's not shooting too well, shooting only 32% from three point range. And given that he has attempted 135 three pointers compared to only 35 two points, that's not ideal. It is not an ideal first season in Spain for Gladyr; that said, for a 20 year old in the ACB, it's pretty good. Young players don't normally play much there.



- Dion Glover

Glover played briefly on the 2004-2005 Spurs team that won the NBA Championship, but found himself having to go to summer league that year in order to get more employment. After averaging 19/5/5 for the Rockets team, Glover got a contract from Houston and made the team, but was waived in December of that year without playing a game. He never played in the NBA again.

Glover split the 2006-07 season between Lebanon and the D-League, and later played for a couple of Dominican Republic teams. He last played in March 2008 with a Venezuelan team called Gaiteros de Zulia, for whom he totalled 8 points in his only appearance. As for what he's done since then, here's Dion telling you himself.



Also note the accuracy of his prediction there. Well, half of it.



- Andreas Glyniadakis

Ex-Pistons draft pick Glyniadakis is Olympiakos' 15th and cheapest man. Olympiakos bought him from Marousi in the summer, along with former Minnesota pick Loukas Mavrokefalidis, in order to fill their quota of Greeks, and the two now spend a lot of time on the bench together, waiting for Olympiakos to build up a lead so big that they can take out Giannis Bourousis, Sofoklis Schortsanitis, Nikola Vujcic and Linas Kleiza. Glyniadakis has played 103 minutes all season, totalling 33 points, 22 rebounds and 28 fouls. This means he must have made contact with an opposing player at least 28 times. I'm not sure I believe that.



- Anthony Goldwire

NBA journeyman Anthony Goldwire made an unexpected appearance in the Spanish fourth division last season at the age of 37, playing for the remnants of Girona, a former ACB team who imploded due to bankruptcy a couple of years ago. Goldwire averaged 10.4 points, 2.5 rebounds and 1.6 assists at that incredibly low standard of basketball, and has since called it quits. He now assists Lifetime Fitness in establishing their basketball league program. Goldwire was also on hand to help manage the Bakersfield Jam's open tryout back in March, which seems odd in that he appears to hold no formal position with the team.

This seems like a good moment to post a picture of Anthony Goldwire modelling an ill-fitting coat.





- Joao Gomes

Gomes is an athletic Portuguese forward who was an NBA draft candidate back in 2007. He is playing with Breogan in Spain's LEB Gold, and is averaging 11.7 points and 5.4 rebounds per game. Gomes was not drafted and is not very interesting, so let's move on to Jamon Gordon.



- Jamon Gordon

Gordon was one of the replacements Marousi brought in this summer as they tooled up for their debut Euroleague season. It was a good season at that; they were still in the competition up until yesterday, when unfortunately their already-eliminated Greek rivals Panathinaikos beat them by three points and eliminated them. Gordon had 10 points, 5 rebounds and 4 assists in the game.

On the season, Gordon leads the team in assists in both the Euroleague and Greek leagues, a feat not insignificant considering that Marousi play a two point guard lineup with Gordon and Billy Keys. Gordon averages 10.5 points, 3.4 rebounds and 3.1 assists in the Euroleague, alongside 8.9/3.1/4.1 in the Greek league. He has shot a combined 17/71 from three point range.

He is known as Jamon Lucas in Greece, even having that on the back of his jersey. I do not know why this is.



- Jamont Gordon

The confusingly similarly named Jamont Gordon is also in the Euroleague, playing for Cibona Zagreb. Like Marousi, Cibona just got knocked out of the Euroleague at the Top 16 stage; like Jamon, Jamont leads his team in assists. He averaged 13.9 points, 4.9 rebounds and 3.8 assists per game in Euroleague play, including ranking 1st overall in scoring in the Last 16 group stage (20ppg) and 5th in rebounds. Gordon also averages 13.1 points, 4.0 rebounds and 4.5 assists per game in the Adriatic League.

Jamon Gordon is the lefty out of Virginia Tech. Jamont Gordon is the lefty out of Mississippi State. They're both big strong athletic point guards with jumpshot concerns, whom both just got knocked out of the Euroleague. It's not in the least bit confusing.



- Brian Grant

As you probably already know, Brian Grant recently went public with his struggle against early onset Parkinson's. That struggle continues; sadly, that struggle will always continue, because a cure does not yet exist. This article by Ken Berger describes Grant's daily battle with the disease, what it's cost him, and of what it's going to cost him. I found it very upsetting and I believe you will too. God bless you, Brian Grant. He definitely owes you one.



- Taj Gray

Since leaving Oklahoma in 2006, Gray has spent four years in France. He started with Chalon, averaging 16.1ppg, 6.1rpg, and 1.3bpg, before moving to Paris-Levallois for the 2007/08 season and averaging 10.4/5.0/1.3. Last year playing for Roanne, those numbers shot up to 19.5/7.3/1.1, which was enough to get him a training camp contract with the L.A. Clippers. He didn't make the team, and thus went back to France to rejoin Chalon, for whom he is averaging 17.0 points, 6.0 rebounds and 0.7 blocks per game in the French league, alongside 14.4/5.9/2.0 in the EuroChallenge.



- Caleb Green

Caleb Green, one of Division 1's elusive 2000/1000 club, is still in Belgium. Last year he averaged 15/6 for Dexia Mons-Hainaut, and this season he's averaging 12.0 points and 5.1 rebounds per game for Oostende.

After going 9-29 from three point range in his four year college career - as opposed to his 812-1495 from two point range - Green is now turning himself into a three point shooter. He has 78 three point attempts in 21 games this year, compared with 101 two pointers and 88 free throws. He's good at them, too, making 34 of those 78 for a 43.6% success rate. Reinventing himself rather well, it appears.

His teammates there include Eddie Gill and Bracey Wright, and Oostende also feature two other Americans in Matt Lojeski and former Padres closer Trevor Huffman. The rest of Oostende's rotation features a Cameroonian (Stephane Pelle), a Slovenian (Dragisa Drobnjak), a Nigerian (Leigh Enobakhare, henceforth known as "Emo back hair") and a Bosnian Serb (Veselin Petrovic). Other players to have left Oostende during the season include Ivan Paunic (Serbian international; moved to Aris), Vladan Vukosavljevic (another Serbian; moved to Aliaga in Turkey), and Javier Mojica (American/Puerto Rican; now playing for Bayamon in Puerto Rico). Because of those 12 foreigners, Belgian players for Oostende have played only 176 minutes all season, split between three players; Quentin Serron (166), Jean Salumu (7) and Yacine Baeri (3). That's 176 out of a possible 4,200 minutes; therefore, only 4.19% of Oostende's PT has been shared amongst Belgian players. For comparison's sake, Americans have a 53.62% share.

God bless Belgian basketball.



- Devin Green

Green made his way to his fifth consecutive NBA training camp when he signed with the Minnesota Timberwolves this summer. He did not make the team, as he and every other signee lost out on a spot to Jason Hart, who played all of 5 minutes for the Wolves and who is now out of the league. Green then moved to Greece and joined Olimpia Larissa, leading them in scoring with a 14.3ppg average along with 4.1 rebounds and 2.2 assists per game. However, he left the team in January, reportedly because of a pay dispute. (Note: when American players leave Greek teams midseason, it is usually because of a pay dispute.) Green has joined the annual Puerto Rican exodus, signing with Gallitos de Isabela. In his two games for the team so far, Green put up 38 points and 13 rebounds.



Finally....

- Gerald Green

Green squirmed out 4 years in the NBA, but never came close to realising the potential that a man with his combination of athleticism and jumpshooting has by default. He last played with the Mavericks; however, at the Nerdjerkfest Conference Thing last week (or whatever it was called; said with affection, by the way), Mark Cuban famously and amusingly stated that Green "just doesn't understand the game of basketball." Quite the burn there from a man who spent a year signing his paychecks, but after four years of experimenting, the whole NBA seems to have bought into it.

Green is now in Russia playing for Lokomotiv Kuban. He is averaging 15.6 points and 3.4 rebounds per game.

Summer league round-up: Minnesota Timberwolves

View the Timberwolves summer league roster.

- Corey Brewer: Brewer was awful his rookie year. Like, really awful. His offense was enthusiastic, but it was also several kinds of bad, and thoroughly undeserving of a number 7 pick. Brewer started to make some strides, though, with a good summer league last year and a fine opening 5 games to last season. Unfortunately, he then popped his knee badly, which has undone all the good work. Minnesota's forward spots are crowded, but the shooting guard spot is wide open, and if Brewer can show something then he might win the spot as a very tall two. But if he doesn't, he'll be fighting Ryan Gomes for small forward time.

- Bobby Brown: Bobby Brown is a testament to the point of summer league. Most players turn up to summer league to win spots in other leagues, but Brown beat the odds and played so well in summer league that he earned himself a two year guaranteed contract with the Kings. He was traded to the Timberwolves at mid season, seemingly only as a money saving venture (the three other players in the deal are all now UFA's), and now he finds himself as the second of two incumbent points guard on a team that just drafted 12 more of them. So that's a bugger. Nevertheless, his contract is guaranteed, and if Minnesota decide they don't want him, some other NBA team should do.

- Pat Carroll: When talking about Pat Carroll, I always feel compelled to compare him to Matt Carroll. Maybe I'm just not that imaginative. Either way, Matt Carroll has four years left to run on his guaranteed deal with the Mavericks, and Pat Carroll just spent a year in the Spanish second division. So you tell me who has the best chance of being in the NBA next year. By the way, be it an irony, a coincidence, or just an uninteresting fact, the Mavericks were also the team that gave Pat Carroll his sole NBA shot, a training camp contract in 2006. They also signed Samo Udrih in 2005, challenging the 2009 Phoenix Suns for "most inferior brothers that you can get on one team at a time that their superior brother is still in the league" award. But Phoenix wins because they've got two at the same time.

- Wayne Ellington: The next Voshon Lenard. Mark it down.

- Jonny Flynn: First of all, the Timberwolves should have picked Stephen Curry. Second of all, Flynn is way too flawed to be a number 6 pick, with questionable outside shooting, a tendency to get wild and poor perimeter defense, and it's only the upside that comes with his athleticism and the weakness of the draft that gets him drafted that high. Thirdly, Jonny Flynn kills kittens. I haven't finished with that joke yet.

- Devin Green: Green started last year with the Spurs in training camp, but didn't make the team even after playing pretty well in preseason. He then went to Belgium, and later moved on to the Ukraine, averaging 17.0 points, 7.3 rebounds and 3.0 assists for Dnipro. If the Timberwolves can't or won't bring back Rodney Carney, then Green makes for a pretty good replacement. He has a chance of making this roster, since it's not deep on the wings right now.

- Paul Harris: Paul Harris reportedly flew up draft boards in the very final run-up to the draft after a series of impressive workouts. In fact, he flew up them so far that he went from being an undrafted talent, to being undrafted. Oh no, wait, he didn't move up at all. Sorry.

Everyone seems to like Harris for his athleticism. And he does have every athletic advantage in the book; he's quick, strong and a huge leaper, even if he tends to lose his leaping ability and front rim dunks at the 58 minute mark on the second game of a back to back. However, he's only 6'4, without much of a slashing game, and with next to no jumpshot. He could be a defensive stopper, but he tends to drift around on that end, and as such he isn't. He also has a criminal history, which doesn't work in your favour when you're on the fringes. Harris initially agreed to join the Cavaliers summer league team, but changed his mind and is now reunited with Syracuse team mate Flynn. Maybe he thinks this will help. I'm not convinced.

- Gerald Henderson: The Bobcats don't have a summer league roster this year, so they're letting Henderson play for the Wolves so that he doesn't miss out on the experience. It's a pretty cool idea, but not as cool as ponying up for your own damn team. Pussies.

- Steven Hill: Hill is about as one dimensional of a shotblocker as you can get. He doesn't rebound much, and he doesn't score; he's all just blocked shots and hair. I like him a lot. But read the Bucks round-up, specifically the bit about Chris Richard, and then tell me why Hill has chosen this team to play with. I just don't get it.

- Rob Kurz: Kurz was signed by the Warriors for training camp, then waived, then almost immediately brought back when Monta Ellis was suspended. He managed to survive the whole year, with even Richard Hendrix being waived before him. Christ knows why, though, because Kurz sucks. Last year, he totalled 157 points, 82 rebounds and 78 fouls, shooting 39% in 40 games. The Warriors then finally realised his mediocrity and didn't extend him a qualifying offer. What kept them?

- Oleksiy Pecherov: Pecherov also chugs quite a lot of balls. He's a tall jumpshooter with a solid rebounding rate, but that's pretty much it. There's scant little defense and no interior offense, and somehow he managed only 2 rebounds and 2 assists all of last season. That's got to be hard to do. Still, for as long as Pecherov looks like Stewie Griffin during his unheralded needle drug period, I think we'll all continue to like him.

- Garret Siler: If you're 6'10 and 305 pounds, yet playing in NCAA Division 2, then there's something wrong with you, really. And Garret Siler's problem is that he's only played basketball for a scant few years. Siler averaged 16.2 points, 7.7 rebounds and 2.6 blocks for the mighty Augusta State Jaguars last year, on percentages of 66% and 79%. However, contrary to usual practice, that's 79% from the field and 66% from the line, a total of 566 points on 285 shots. If you don't believe me, read this. Pretty impressive, although given that he probably played mostly against 6'6 210lbs opposing centres, it's not entirely without context. Siler is fat and slow, which hampers any NBA prospects, but if he can find a similar level of professional competition to that of Augusta State's schedule, then he'll have himself a career. Might I recommend China?

- Ben Woodside: Similarly, if you are both one of the leading scorers and assist makers in all of Division 1, and you don't get drafted, then there's something wrong with you too. And that's what just happened to Ben Woodside, who averaged 23.2 points (8th in NCAA) and 6.2 assists (joint 5th) in his senior season for North Dakota State. He scored big, he scored efficiently, and he racked up the assists to boot. He even had a 60 point, 8 rebound and 8 assist outing, where he shot 35 free throws and his team lost anyway. Good times, sort of. However, Woodside's problem is that he's small. He's listed as 5'11 and 185 pounds, and isn't physical or strong. And rightly or wrongly, that doesn't get you in the NBA. Woodside might hang around the NBA fringes for a while, but a career in Europe is probably best suited to him anyway.

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 20

- Joao Gomes averages 8.3 points and 4.4 rebounds for Leche Rio Breogan Lugo in the Spanish second division. You're probably wondering who the hell Joao Gomes is. So am I, honestly. In other, more important Gomes news, the Cincinnati Reds signed Jonny Gomes to a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training. Good luck Jonny. Savage everything you see. Both women and fastballs. Jonny Gomes = savage. The good sort of savage.

- Jamon Gordon was suspended by his German team, the Koeln 99ers, for going to America without permission. I think. (A user's blog comment also said something about Gordon trashing his flat, which seems like a weird thing to be suspended for, so I'll assume he did this afterwards.) His replacement is a man called Michael Jordan, and no I'm not making that up. Gordon averaged 13.9 points, 4.2 rebounds, 4.1 assists and 2.7 steals in his 9 games with the team.

- Jamont Gordon (not to be confused with Jamon Gordon, despite how blatantly easy that is to do) is signed with Fortitudo Bologna, the team also known as Upim Bologna and GMAC Real Estate Bologna, and formerly known as Skipper Bologna and Climamio Bologna, yet NOT to be confused with La Fortezza Bologna, which is another Italian first division team. Jesus, I wish these bastards would settle on just one name. All European people are stupid, I tell you. Gordon averages 11.3 points, 3.3 rebounds, 1.5 steals and 2.0 assists in Eurocup play, while playing alongside Gregor Fucka, whose name is still fun to type, even if it has been usurped by Lior Lipshits.

- Brian Grant (not to be confused with Briant Grant, who is someone that I just made up) retired over two years ago and hasn't been heard from since.

- Devin Green is signed in the Ukraine of all places, with Dnipro Dnepropetrovsk. Unfortunately, none of his team mates have funny names. Green averages 20.5 points, 7.8 rebounds and 3.3 assists, while being probably the best player in the country.

- Caleb Green averages 13.5 points, 7.2 rebounds and 2.3 assists in Eurochallenge play per game for Dexia's Midnight Runners in Belgium, along with 13.9 points, 5.3 rebounds and 1 assist in Belgian league play. You may remember Dexia Mons-Hainault (the team's real name) as being the team that was too good for Dion Dowell. Or you may not. Depends on how much you care.

- Taurean Green is signed with CAI Zaragoza in Spain, averaging 11.4 points and 2.4 assists.

- Orien Greene (not to be confused with Taurean Green, Torien Greene, Orient Greene, or anyone other than himself) is in Holland, playing for the immortally named MyGuide Amsterdam. Greene averaged 9.8 points, 4.4 rebounds and 2.6 assists in EuroChallenge play, and averages 12.9 points, 4.3 rebounds, 3.3 assists and 2.3 steals in the Dutch league. So there you have it; we finally found a league that can make Orien Greene look like a useful scorer.

- Lynn Greer is a starting guard on the Olympiakos team that leads the Greek league, and that continues to advance in the Euroleague. Greer averages only 9.6 points in the Greek league, but averages a team high 12.4 points in the Euroleague. Yet, supposedly, they want to bring in another guard (Jannero Pargo, Stephon Marbury) anyway. Seems odd.

- Vincent Grier is doing a bit of everything in the French league, averaging 9.8 points, 4.9 rebounds, 2.5 assists, 1.8 steals and 1.2 blocks a game for Cholet Basket. Grier also averaged 8.3 points and 3.2 rebounds in the EuroChallenge. Unfortunately, he hasn't hit a three all year in either competition, going 0-5 in total, and Grier is also a combined 35-63 from the free throw line in all competition this season. That's not getting it done as a 6;5 guy.

- Did they ever rule on whether Eddie Griffin's death was officially a suicide?

- Rob Griffin was recently cut from his CBA team, which can't make a man feel good.

- Finally, Adrian Griffin played all preseason with the Bucks, but then was waived just before opening night for Austin Croshere. Unwilling (or unable) to be parted from his sugardaddy, Scott Skiles, Griffin then immediately became his assistant coach, something that he's pretty much unofficially been for about four years now. Those two are so CUTE together! *hugs*

Summer signings, round 26

This post was written a million years before it was posted.

- Alexander Johnson has signed in the German league for Brose Baskets, so his life is basically over. (Hah! Not really, German people. Or Alexander Johnson. Or Alexander Johnson's agent. Just a little running jokes we have here. It's hilarious every time, I promise you.)

- San Antonio signed Desmon Farmer and Devin Green, to go along with their previous signings of Anthony Tolliver and Darryl Watkins . Not a bad foursome, that. Giggidy.

- Donell Taylor is to join the Bobcats for the training camp, because you can always find a use for a guard that can't make a layup or a jumpshot or pass or run an offense or do anything to an average standard on the offensive end. Or at least, I think that's right. It must be, because Lindsey Hunter keeps getting work.

- How much Eurelijus Zukauskas news is too much Eurelijus Zukauskas news? Well, since we've had none ever, I think we're still some ways short of our limit. So here I am, announcing to you that E-Zook has re-signed with Zalgiris, in his native Lithuania. (If you don't know who Eurelijus Zukauskas is, I'm generously going to tell you - he's a really big and really slow Lithuania centre who the Bucks drafted back in the mid 90's, and whose rights they still own purely as a technicality. He's like Arvydas Sabonis was in his dying days, only inferior. See! Now you've learnt, and now you can discuss him with your friends. However, I sincerely hope, but can't guarantee, that they'll still by your friends afterwards.)

- Also, how much Bulgarian league news is too much Bulgarian news? Quite frankly, it's limitless. So here's some Bulgarian league news - the mighty and insatiable Tim Pickett has signed with Lukoil Akademik, a team in the Bulgarian League. Don't tell your friends this one, though. Make it our little secret.

- Lawrence Roberts signed with Red Star Belgrade, a basketball team in Belgrade, whose team logo has a red star in it. It all makes sense when you break it down and analyse it in its most basic form.

- Matt Freije is to join the Bucks for training camp, because you can never have too many jumpshooting power forwards with weak rebounding rates. Oh, wait, yes you can. By the way, there are a lot of jumpshooting power forwards who do the rounds in the NBA these days - Freije, Malik Allen, Pat Garrity and Steve Novak to name but a few. However, almost all of them are one dimensional players who offer nothing else. Nick Fazekas, however, can also rebound to go with his jumpshot. So why's he the one on the outside looking in? He's going to get a spot with the Nuggets training camp this year, but we all know he's going to be waived, because Denver like to keep costs down. This is injustice. Add Nick Fazekas to my new campaign list (to be announced shortly).

- Mustafa Shakur signed in Spain with Tau Vitoria Ceramica Saski Baskonia (delete as applicable), where he'll replace Goran Dragic, if Goran ever completes his buyout and signs with Phoenix.

- The whistlestop Ronald Dupree World Tour Of The NBA now includes Cleveland, where he'll sign for training camp, and then be cut from.

- This article, dated September 9th, implied that Sam Cassell was to sign a new contract with the Celtics soon. But he hasn't. Make of this what you will.

- Denver rounded out their roster by signing second rounder, Sonny Weems. The subject of Weems has come up a few times now, and I've still got nothing interesting to say about him. Instead of trying, I'll cop out and not bother.

And now, ladies and gentleman, Mr Conway Twitty.



(Possibly the most amusing backing band that I've ever seen in my life.)

Where Are They Now? Part 15

Devin Green is playing for Siviglia Wear Teramo in Italy, alongside Hassan Adams and friends.

Orien Greene is playing for Hapoel Jerusalem in Israel, and hasn't been there for very long.

Lynn Greer took a buyout from the Bucks this summer of $0 to go back to Europe, and now he is playing for Olympiakos in Greece. Greer is also one of Europe's highest paid players, as his current paycheck shits on the $687,456 before tax that Milwaukee had him down for. And he's also playing extremely well. It's worked out rather well for Lynn, all told.

Vincent Grier is playing for Gravelines in the French league, a town whose name isn't pronounced how it looks like it is.

Eddie Griffin is still dead.

Rob Griffin isn't dead, and is playing for the Fort Wayne Mad Pants in the D-League.

Rashard Griffith is playing for Poliesti in Romania, the only player in this list (I think) playing in that country. Griffith is now 33, and any chance of him joining the NBA has long since passed.

Anthony Grundy is playing for Panellinios Athens in Greece.

Tom Gugliotta has been out of the game for a long time.

Marcus Haislip is playing for CSKA Moscow, but is having a little bit of trouble travelling with the team, as he hasn't been issued a new passport due to unpaid back taxes. Tut tut tut.

Mike Hall is playing for the Tulsa 66ers in the D-League. Also on that team is Keith Closs, who is attempting a comeback now aged 32 after faffing up his first shot at the NBA. Now off of the drink, and apparently more motivated than ever, Closs is blocking shots at an outstanding rate in the D-League (2.8 a game in only 19.4 minutes), but isn't doing much of anything else (6.6 points and 4.7 rebounds). Still, nice story. Maybe he'll get an NBA camp invite.

Yotam Halperin, as mentioned earlier, is playing for Maccabi Tel-Aviv.