Knicks sign Jonathan Bender wait what the hell really oh christ wow thats amazing lol
I like to think that I keep my ear pretty close to the ground. If you're going to know about such perfectly useless things as Kevin Burleson signing in Romania, then you kind of have to. Yet I had absolutely no idea that the Knicks were considering signing Jonathan Bender, nor that they were even able to. Quite literally shocked to see that headline today.
Bender retired in February 2006 after being assumed to have been retired for a long while prior. He had begun to break out in the 2001-02 season when he averaged 7.4 points in 78 games for the Pacers, but not only was that the best he'd ever play, it was almost the most he'd ever play. Bender's games played total plummeted from there on out; from 78 in 2001/02, to 46 in 2002/03, to 21 in 2003/04, to 7 in 2004/05, to only 2 in 2005/06. He suffered from a degenerative knee condition that caused chronic pain due to the destruction of the knee's cartilage, and there was no way back from that, forcing his retirement. There still isn't, really, which is why I wrote this when we last covered Bender back in January:
Jonathan Bender is still retired, and probably always will be.
Apparently that was not true, though. Bender is now back, joining up with the general manager that traded for him and gave him the $28 million with which he built his business empire. The league once again has a 7 foot shooting guard, and not the Primoz Brezec type of 7 foot shooting guard.
In his time away from the game, Bender has become a successful entrepreneur. He owns a charitable organisation - the Jonathan Bender foundation - as well as Jonathan Bender Enterprises, a real estate development and property management company. Both of those organisations are based in New Orleans, helping to restore the city's infrastructure. Bender also owns an Italian wine company, a record label, an island in the Carribean, multiple real estate holdings (including Kingdom Homes, a company that buys and restores flood-damaged properties in disadvantaged New Orleans neighborhoods), and is trying to patent a fitness device called "Bender Bands." As someone of comparable age but completely incomparable success, I am jealous of this.
The last time someone returned from a career ending injury to play in the NBA was last year, with the whole Darius Miles debacle. That saga did not go particularly well - particularly not for Portland - due to all the shenanigans surrounding it. Miles played fairly well in his comeback, which was a plus, but it was all secondary to the drama, and it was not an enviable situation for any of the neutral parties. It finally ended this past summer when the Grizzlies let Miles walk unchallenged, unsatisfied as they were with his performance off the court. (As if to prove them right, Miles then got arrested.)
The last time it happened with the Knicks was with Allan Houston, who made two abortive comebacks in training camps 2007 and 2008 after succumbing to knee injuries in 2005. He never played another NBA game.
However, Bender is only 28 years old. There is no disgrace to be found here. If he can go, he should, and if he can't, then it cost nothing significant to find out.
What the Knicks stand to gain here is not particularly obvious; Bender stands to be the 15th man in an 8 man rotation, and given the aforementioned strength of his non-basketball career, he doesn't appear to need the money. The ignonimity of being on the inactive list alongside Cuttino Mobley doesn't seem like any more of a proud way to go than the original medical retirement, and the risk for the Knicks is that, if he gets hurt again, they're stuck with paying him.
Kirk Snyder's hearing delayed, Darius Miles arrested
Middletown Journal:Kirk Snyder takes further steps to really help his own cause and become a better, well-adjusted person.
A competency hearing for former NBA player Kirk Snyder has been delayed because [he] has been uncooperative with medical experts, court officials said.
Snyder, 25, is accused of breaking in a home and assaulting a man on March 30 near his residence in the Beacon Hill Townhouses in Deerfield Twp.
A Warren County grand jury indicted him on aggravated burglary and felonious assault charges, both felonies, He was also charged with a misdemeanor assault charge for allegedly attacking another inmate at the Warren County Jail after his arrest.
Snyder’s attorney, Hal Arenstein, could not be reached for comment, but he has filed documents in court saying his client is not guilty by reason of insanity and he is not competent to stand trial.
Grizzlies forward Darius Miles was arrested Wednesday and released on bond after being charged with possession of marijuana following a routine traffic stop.
Miles also received a ticket for driving with a suspended license according to the Associated Press, which first reported the story.
.................
Although the Griz haven't publicly stated their intentions, their plan was always to start next season without Miles.
The Griz grew weary of Miles' waning work ethic and his relationship with rookie guard O.J. Mayo.
There was widespread concern in the organization about Miles' off-the-court influence on Mayo near the end of the season.
If there was ever any doubt - and there wasn't - Memphis really did only sign Darius Miles to screw Portland. His reasonably effective play notwithstanding, it was never going to be a long term solution, and there was nothing to gain in the short term either. But, if stiffing Portland was indeed their aim, it worked. Industrious? Yes. Successful? Yes. Embarassing? Definitely yes. Let's pretend it didn't happen.
But, enough of that.
To the bigger issues here: in addition to a fine and most underwhelming Twitter page, this webshite now also has a Facebook fan page. Why? Why not, I say.
If anyone wishes to help out by creating a logo that isn't a copyrighted picture of Ha Seung-Jin's face, then do please contact me.
1: The following Youtube video has done the rounds recently, showing an impressive double alleoop in a highly one-sided high school game.
That clip reminded me of this one, featuring the Los Angeles Clippers's "overloaded with potential" era, specifically Darius Miles and Lamar Odom. (Also, is it Sean Rooks throwing that frontcourt pass? I think so.)
Since Kevin Calabro left us, Ralph Lawler has assumed the title of Best Announcer Of Any NBA Team. If ever you forget that, watch this clip. Great freaking call, Ralph. Great call.
2: While looking for that clip, I also found this one.
I loved that so-called "Jail Blazers" team. Loved it. There was just so much talent on it, so much depth, and so much athleticism (which, not matter how much you appreciate skill, is something that makes the game more fun. As evidenced by this clip). That particular Blazers team also had Steve Kerr and Chris Dudley, two all time favourites of mine. It was great times all around. But it's a bit odd, when you think about it. All but one Blazer in this clip is now out of the league. Derek Anderson is unsigned. Bonzi Wells is in China. Ruben Patterson is unsigned. Scottie Pippen is kicking 50's door down. (Not 50 Cent, but the age.) Kerr is the Suns General Manager now, and Chris Dudley is Kevin Love's mentor. (Well, he was, briefly.) Rasheed Wallace is still with us, but not the same Rasheed Wallace as we see today, and the rest of the roster not seen in this clip (Damon Stoudamire, Dale Davis, Shawn Kemp, Erick Barkley, Mitchell Butler, Ruben Boumtje Boumtje, Rick Brunson) are all out of the league. The only ones that aren't are Sheed and Zach Randolph, then a deep bench player on a deep bench. Admittedly, this clip is seven years old, and so 13 of the 15 players being out of the league seven years on should not be a surprise.....but it just doesn't feel right, does it?
3: Speaking of Darius Miles, congratulations on him playing his tenth game, and playing it bloody well.
a) Is this evidence of Dallas realising that this core isn't working, and isn't going to work, so saving some money and thinking 2010 might not be a bad idea right now? I hope so. There's literally no potential for internal improvement right now. Gerald Green, J.J. Barea and Shawne Williams don't constitute a young core. And you'll have to keep Brandon Bass first before he counts.
b) Are there any more overpaid backup centres on long term contracts that the Bobcats can bring in to fight for the ten minutes behind Emeka Okafor? Is two (Diop and Nazr Mohammed - going to enough? Can we goad them into a move for Dan Gadzuric? Spend their full MLE on Fabricio Oberto? No? Pity.
5: It's a shame that the Nets realised that they stood to gain absolutely nothing from the Larry Hughes/Bobby Simmons & Maurice Ager swap, because otherwise the Bulls were in danger of pulling off a good move. It's also a shame, though, that talks seemed to break down over the Nets' insistence on including either Tyrus Thomas or Yannick Noah in the deal. Now come on, Thorneweghe. Give them some credit. You don't dump your sole semblance of a future frontcourt, however unsatisfying it may be, just to move Larry Hughes. And more importantly, you don't need Tyrus Thomas. You've already got Stromile Swift. They're basically the same, right?
6: Speaking of, why does everyone seem so interested in Sean Williams? What is he good at other than blocking the occasional shot, and being friends with insanely annoying British whiggers? Williams is simply not that skilled, and he compounds that with an apparent attitude problem (as evidenced at the D-League showcase, where he turned up only technically). Athleticism does not equal talent, and Sean Williams has lots of one and not enough of the other.
7: Hopefully, the Grizzlies firing Marc Iavaroni will lead to a change in philosophy. What's the point of creating a team with two point guard (Mike Conley and Kyle Lowry) who thrives when pushing the ball, then starting two great athletes like O.J. Mayo and Rudy Gay (hehe) on the wings, having a similarly athletic power forward in Darrell Arthur and a high flying sixth man like Hakim Warrick, just to then be 22nd in the league in pace? Memphis should be pushing the ball. They're young, athletic, have enough of a halfcourt option in Marc Gasol to get by, and have just enough rebounding to run a reasonably successful running game. (More than the Warriors do, anyway.) To make them grind out meticulous and rather ineffective halfcourt sets doesn't seem to be working, so play to the team's strengths. At the very least, their trade values will go up. And you might even win more.
8: Heartfelt condolences to Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller, who had half of both his legs amputated, and to long time Bulls staple Johnny 'Red' Kerr, who has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.
"The Portland Trail Blazers are aware that certain teams may be contemplating signing Darius Miles to a contract for the purpose of adversely impacting the Portland Trail Blazers Salary Cap and tax positions. Such conduct from a team would violate its fiduciary duty as an NBA joint venturer. In addition, persons or entities involved in such conduct may be individually liable to the Portland Trail Blazers for tortuously interfering with the Portland Trail Blazers' contract rights and perspective economic opportunities.
"Please be aware that if a team engages in such conduct, the Portland Trail Blazers will take all necessary steps to safeguard its rights, including, without limitation, litigation.''
Now, I'm no lawyer, nor even a taxpaying member of the state. But if I understand anything, I understand this:
The whole concept of doctors declaring when a player's career is over due to injury is entirely speculative. It has to be, unless Nostradamus knows how to use a stethoscope. The doctors predicted Darius's career would be over, but it wasn't, and you can see that it wasn't by the fact that he's STILL PLAYING. Therefore, Portland's whole claim of "his career is over, can we have our money back please?" is somewhat invalidated. And all this silly posturing helps nobody.
As far I can tell, Portland has little, if any, legal footing. If Darius was out there in a wheelchair, or as a quadraplegic with a terminal case of lumbago, then they'd have a point. But he's not. Darius not thet player that he once was, but he can take an NBA court on merit.
Caught up in all this, though, is the most important point.
Darius Miles never got much of a fair shake in Portland. The blowups didn't help, but he could play, and yet he was reviled due to his perceived character and his novelty oversized contract. But while Darius may has always been a bit of a numpty, we must feel for him in this situation. His comeback attempt seems genuine, and yet this entire process for him is now nothing but a mockery. All the man wants is a fair chance at regaining the lifestyle and profession that he lost through no fault of his own. And we can't seem to allow him that without making it into a legal battle.
Free agent forward Darius Miles arrived in Memphis early Saturday morning and signed a nonguaranteed contract with the Grizzlies following a physical examination.
I'm hungry. Anybody in the position I'm in, and has been through what I've been through the past two years, if he's not hungry he shouldn't waste anybody's time," Miles said. "I'm hungry. I ain't quitting. I feel like I can still do this. I wouldn't even waste the Grizzlies' time if I felt like my career was over."
"We got very good reports from Boston that he was really getting close to what he used to be," Griz coach Marc Iavaroni said.
"We're taking a shot to see if he's a guy who can resurrect his career and help us," Griz general manager Chris Wallace said. "We need to find more veterans not just so much for leadership but for production on the court. We need guys who have been there a little bit."
Everyone's saying the right things, at least. And the Grizzlies do indeed need veterans, as well as just more talent. But the cynical side of me thinks they might have an ulterior motive.
The point of that whole draft day deal with Minnesota was not just to trade up to get O.J. Mayo, but also to create some cap space. With the contracts of Antoine Walker and G-Buck not guaranteed past this season, Memphis took on the extra year of Marko Jaric's salary in order to open up $6 million in cap space next summer, a saving afforded by moving the salaries of Mike Miller and Brian Cardinal for the two aforementioned unguaranteed deals. Mike Miller isn't the kind of player you gift away, but when doing so gets you a valuable trade-up and $6 million more in your already decent caproom, it's worth it. Memphis, along with Oklahoma City, will now have oodles of cap room to work with next summer, and even if free agents aren't big on the idea of signing there, Memphis will at least be able to pursue whoever they want.
The thing is, though, that Portland also figures to have cap room. Quite a bit of it, in fact. Even after Martell Webster's extension, it only takes the renouncements of insignificant players such as Ike Diogu, Channing Frye and Raef LaFrentz, plus the waivings of decent backups Steve Blake and Travis Outlaw (note: they're decent backups in an ideal world, if not currently), and Portland suddenly has 8 figures of cap room. General Manager Kevin Pritchard has spoken about how he's trying to trade LaFrentz's salary, which would scupper any cap room chances, but Outlaw and Blake signed deals with unguaranteed final seasons for this very reason: Portland has 2009 cap room aspirations, and always has.
Those cap room aspirations will be roundly buggered, though, if Darius Miles plays ten games with somebody else. If this happens, Miles's significant salary ($9 million each of the next two seasons) is put back on Portland's books, after it had initially been taken off due to Miles's medical retirement. However, playing ten games invalidates that medical retirement, and the salary would be on Portland's cap figure once again, making cap space an almost impossible (and entirely unworthwhile) aim.
(Reader's note: the ten games thing is not quite that simple, as I understand it, but that's the gist of it. Truth be told, I don't understand it especially well. There's something about an appeals process or something.)
Since they traded Javaris Crittenton to Washington, the Grizzlies have only 13 players under contract, and Hamed Haddadi is in the D-League. This leaves Antoine Walker on the active list, despite him having not played a minute all year, being out of shape (for a change) and being out of the team's plans. Therefore, the Grizzlies can easily leave Miles on the active list even for the ten games of his drug-related suspension. After that, he just needs ten games as a 10th man, and suddenly Memphis loses one of its few competitors in next year's free agency market. All for the $500,000-or-so cost of having Darius Miles around for 6 months.
And that's just a bargain.
Of course, maybe Im being overly cynical. It's happened before, many a time. Maybe they have only the best of intentions, and really think that Miles will provide a lot both on and off (HA!) the court for them. But somehow I doubt it.
(Do you think my heart's gone out of these lists?)
- P.J. Tucker is to sign with BC Donetsk in the Ukraine. And, speaking of P.J. Tucker, here's what Bonzi Wells is up to: nothing. It's strange. Bonzi may have carved himself out a reputation in this league as a bit of a moanarse, but he can play, and he's only 31. He averaged 9.1 points and 4.5 rebounds last year as a key reserve on two good teams. He didn't act up, either, and hasn't for a while. And yet someone won't sign him? Weird. Either he's stupidly pricing himself out of the market, or there even more stupidly isn't one.
- Aaron Miles is very close to signing with Panionios in Greece.
- The Boston Celtics signed both Darius Miles and Bill Walker. Can't say that I'm particularly overwhelmed by either signing, although everyone who tells me about Bill Walker tells me that Bill Walker was an absolute steal for the Celtics. (Note: roughly 80% of the people who talk to me about Bill Walker are Celtics fans.) As for Miles, signing him represents nought but a low risk, low return move. He was a 14 point scorer for a short time, but...come on now. By all accounts - particularly by the account of the guy who considered him to be medically retired - that knee has got bad news written all over it. How much can he contribute, exactly? I expect nothing and wouldn't mind being pleasantly surprised about that. (By the way, did you notice how I just left that previous Aaron Miles entry out there to hang, without so much as a single stupid comment or pun on his name? It was deliberate. I'm trying to grow up.)
- Conflicting reports surround the highly interesting whereabouts of former Bull, Dalibor Bagaric. Dalibor - who is great, by the way - is reportedly close to re-signing with Fortitudo Bologna, where he can form the slowest centre duet in history with the recently signed Earl Barron. However, the Croatian press report that Bagaric is close to signing with the Atlanta Hawks. Should that happen, I will be a happy bunny indeed. If Bagaric signs with the Hawks, expect this site to take a very pro-Hawks direction. And, if they waive him, we'll start a bloody riot.
(NB: Bagaric's profile on this website mentions how Dali had 3 flagrant fouls in only 5 summer league games back in 2002, but then provides inaccurate proof of such a claim. (Also, it was 6 games.) So here it the proof in question - unos, two, trois. That never gets old. Additionally, Dali's profile asks for Preston Shumpert updates, and now I'll answer my own query: Shumpert signed today for Efes Pilsen in Turkey. This site is a goldmine, I tell you.)
- Devin Brown re-signed with the Hornets, the team with whom he resurrected his career back in 2007. Despite my earlier criticisms of the composition of the Hornets bench, I will never besmirch any team that gives Devin Brown work, so this is a purely stupdenous move by them, even if it doesn't solve the problem that I (mis)identified in that earlier post. That problem could still be somewhat resolved by Salim Stoudamire, you know. And Salim still needs a job for next year. (Aww man. If the Hornets sign Stoudamire to go with Brown, that'd be great. And I'll feel partly responsible. Never say die, Salim. We'll get you some work yet.)
- Goran Dragic signed with the Suns on a four year contract, ending the lifelong bloody saga often referred to as "The Saga Of Whether Goran Dragic Is Going To Sign With The Phoenix Suns Or Not Saga". That saga had many ups and downs and twists and turns and traps and pitfalls and shit, and it caught more than one educated basketball writer out during its run. It also caught me out. But, as ever, I don't invent the news. I just regurgitate it without giving any links due to systematic laziness. I accept equal measures of both credit and scorn for this.
- Captain Larry Turner has signed with Reales de La Vega in the Dominican Republic, and he has also supposedly picked up Dominican citizenship. Barring something like murder, with L-Turn as either the protagonist or the victim, I can't foresee a single scenario in which I ever report Captain Larry Turner news ever again. Enjoy what you've got.
- Tottenham Hotspur re-signed Michael Finley, in a move which makes more sense for the team than the player. Finley is probably going to find that minutes are harder to come by with the acquisition of Roger Mason. But that's up to him.
- Journeyman guard Luis Flores keeps on journeying, signing for Hapoel Holon in Israel. P.J. Tucker played there last year, but the opener to this post - in which Tucker's movements are tracked with spooky inaccuracy - lets us know that the two won't be about to form a beautiful Jordan/Pippen type partnership, nor even a Guillermo Diaz/Josh Powell type of on-court basketball partnership. They won't be forming any kind of partnership at all, in fact, because Tucker's long gone. Shame. That said, I'm still holding out hope that the two form a duo, as a renegade pair of crime fighting fugitives, tough and uncompromising, taking the law into their own hands, stopping at nothing to bring scumbags to justice, while travelling the globe on the lam, avoiding the long arm of the law. This would be good. (It's a new sitcom that I'm writing. The fact that I haven't thought it through whatsoever arguably makes it better.)
- Former Kings training campette Ricky Shields signed with Krka in the Adriatic League, which is a team that I had never previously heard of. Amusingly, this press release chooses to call Shields by his full name, in a trend which I sorely hope catches on, particularly when middle names such as Essington are on show. A particular favourite of mine is Qatar hero, Jabari Montsho Smith. Readers note: I'm about to bleed this joke dry.
....and I can't think of a joke to end on. Normally in this situation, I resort to a bit of Conway, in a concept directly and correctly stolen from Family Guy. I don't think it's going over well, though, so we'll put that to bed for now, and end this post here, Twittyless.
(By the way, in answer to my original question.....it hasn't died. Not at all. It's just that the narrative devices are drying up because I'm not a very good writer.)
The Sacramento Kings are cultivating an annual tradition of frittering away their MLE. Since John Salmons, it's all gone Pete Tong. After last year using it to sign Mikki Moore for what will probably only be for two years - a move which will keep them entirely uncompetitive for that time - they've one-upped themsleves by throwing a full 5 year deal to last year's point guard starter, Beno Udrih. Last year was Beno's fourth in the NBA, and unlike the first three that he spent with the San Antonio Spurs, he didn't suck in it. So that helps to justify matters, ever so slightly.
(Readers note: If you can't see why it isn't necessarily a good idea to be committing 5 years of big salary to a guy who has only played one good year in his career, a good year that coincidentally happened to be the year that the money was about to dry up, then you weren't watching the Darius Miles experience particularly intently. But then again, maybe Beno really did genuinely break out, as he sure as hell looked a lot better last year. Then again, now that he's earning $33 million, he'll have to.)
Hopefully, though, this isn't the end of the Kings point guard search. After drafting Sean Singletary in the second round, the Kings now have two actual point guards, even if they aren't very good. They can also pretend, sort of, that wing players Salmons, Francisco Garcia and Q-Doub are able to play point guard in an emergency.
But I think we would all rather see them bring back Jason Williams. Wouldn't you?
The Adelman era Kings of the early part of this decade are gone. Those awesome teams, full of depth, running, passing and choking, are no more. Vlade Divac is long gone. Doug Christie is short gone. So is Chris Webber. Mike Bibby now plays for Atlanta, and doesn't do so very well. Bobby Jackson keeps the Rockets bench warm, Keon Clark has a new favourite kind of court, and Peja Stojakovic is on the Hornets, being paid way, way, way too much. The only players to still be any good are Brad Miller - who is also the only remaining Kings player - and Hedo Turkoglu, who just surprised the hell out of us all by winning the MIP award.
Signing White Chocolate isn't going to bring back the glory days, partly because everyone else has left, and partly because Jason Williams isn't very good any more. And yet...you know what? Maybe there's a second wind in there somewhere. Hobbled as he appeared to be in Miami, Williams also looked somewhat bored and misused, being primarily used as a defender and spot-up shooter, two things he was never much good at. The knees also don't look good, and Williams is also about to turn 33. But even if they lose the ability to do much with it, it's very far-fetched for a player to just entirely lose their understanding of passing angles, and despite Williams' steady career-long metamorphosis into a controlled, sensible point guard, he could still push the ball if he had people to run with him. (Note: that last point is entirely speculative.)
The Kings can offer this. Kevin Martin can run. Salmons can run. Mikki Moore can really run. Udrih doesn't milk shot clocks too much. Garcia did a surprisingly successful Stojakovic impression last year. Patrick Ewing Jr thrives when running, so I'm told. Same with Jason Thompson, apparently. Brad Miller doesn't move too good, but his quality passing skills can help out. Shareef Abdur-Rahim and Kenny Thomas will be about as much use as a chocolate teapot, but then, aren't they anyway?
Let's make it happen. They have a Bi Annual Exception - use it on Jason Williams. The Kings are pencilled in for another season of mediocrity, looking likely to win about 35 games once again. They probably won't make the playoffs, and if they do, they won't get anywhere. They're also too good to accidentally lose, and it would take a decimation of their rotation to make them try and do it on purpose.
Sham is a miserable and self-effacing little bastard, whose basketball opinions are often riddled with bias, insecurity, and rank immaturity. He has also never played the sport, and the only game he has ever been to see was a Ware Rebels game back in 2001. The night bus didn't show up and he had to walk the 9 miles home. It was after this that his passion for basketball really took off.
He considers himself to be Britain's foremost NBA expert, an arbitrary title that carries with it no basis in fact, or any worldly significance. He also wrote this section of the website in third person narrative, purely for reasons of arrogance.
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is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
