Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 14

This one might be shorter than the last one.

One final note on Keon Clark: despite what I said earlier about Clark's mandatory weekly court appearances being "almost universally described as good", Clark failed a drug test as recently as late November. So maybe it's not all coming up Milhouse after all.



- Victor Claver

Windpipe is still with Valencia, his hometown team and the team he's been with since he was 15. He's averaging 11.5 points, 6.0 rebounds and 2.0 assists per game in the Eurocup, alongside 9.4 points, 5.2 rebounds and 1.5 assists in the ACB. Good numbers all, with only one drawback; Claver is shooting a combined 26 of 87 from three point range between the two competitions, which is .298%.



- Mateen Cleaves

After spending last year in the D-League, Mateen Cleaves is currently unsigned. This would appear to be by choice, as his Twitter reveals a new career direction. Cleaves has teamed up with some guy named Jon Connor (not the one of Terminator fame) to launch Varsity Records, a record label that appears to have one client (Connor) and one manager (Cleaves). This would appear to be a full time venture for Cleaves now, so he is perhaps done with basketball at the age of 32. I'm speculating about that, of course, but only because of Cleaves's apparent dedication to this new endeavour.

Is Jon Connor any good? You be the judge.

Hard to tell, really. That's just noise on that video. The behind-the-club's-stage angle is never the best one acoustically. But the crowd seem to be enjoying it.

Here's an article about them both.





- Keith Closs

For the 2007-08 season, a 31 year old Closs joined the Tulsa 66ers of the D-League, and spent the entire year there. It represented the best job security that Closs had had since his NBA career floundered almost a decade ago, and an article (which I now can't find) spoke of his comeback from the apathy and alcoholism that had plagued him until that point. It was a nice story.

Since that season ended, though, Closs' career has been back to its previous stop-start ways. Closs started last year in China, averaging 14.2 points, 9.9 rebounds and a league best 4.5 blocks in 18 games for the now-defunct Yunnan Running Bulls. After putting up a triple double (13/13/11) in his final game with the team in late December, he moved to rival team Liaoning for a tryout, but did not make the team, and then this summer he was a part of the stacked IBL team, the Los Angeles Lightning.

What's he doing now? Well, this very week, Closs was the first pick in the second round of the Universal Basketball Association draft by the seminally named GIE Morrow Disciples, a team that clearly read the Anthony Morrow Facts before choosing that name. The Universal Basketball Association is a minor league that you've probably never heard of; nor had I until I looked up Keith Closs' recent career. The UBA is based in Texas and used to be known as the United Regions Basketball League. The MVP of the league last year was Atlanta Christian's very own Jermaine Barnes, who averaged 41 points, 11 rebounds, 7 assists and 5 steals per game.

For Keith Closs to have been only the 9th pick, there must be 8 players in the UBA deemed to be better than him.

(By the way, Jermaine Barnes has never played to a standard above the ABA, which isn't much of a standard at all. But the advantage to that is huge statistics, and Barnes fully took advantage of that by averaging 48.2 points per game for an entire season in 2007-08. It was in the Japanese third division, but still.)



- Dominique Coleman

Coleman made his name in the D-League last year, playing for the now-defunct Colorado 14ers. He averaged 15.1ppg, 7.6rpg, 4.8apg and a league best 2.8spg, numbers he hadn't previously approached, not even in the Big 12. Coleman took this new CV to Belgium, where he joined Dexia Mons-Hainaut and awaited some hot Eurocup action. However, despite his 22 points and 9 steals in two games, Dexia were knocked out of the Eurocup (see also: Justin Cage's entry), and Coleman moved to another Eurocup team in Angellico Biella. There, he averaged 4.8 points, 2.3 rebounds and 2.3 assists in the Eurocup, alongside 5.2 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.2 assists in the Italian league, before being released. Coleman was only ever signed as injury cover for Fred Jones, and once Jones returned to health, Biella didn't have room to keep Coleman. He is now unsigned.



- Coleman Collins

Collins is in Germany, playing for ratiopharm Ulm. The lack of capitalisation there is theirs, not mine. Collins is averaging 11.8 points, 4.9 rebounds and 1.2 assists in 24 minutes per game, shooting 57% from the floor and 54% from the foul line.

It's been a while, so let's play Count The Germans: on a 15 man roster, Ulm have 10 Americans (including two called Kevin Martin and John Bryant), 1 Dane (going by the very un-Danish name of Darko Jukic), 1 Bosnian and 5 Germans. Three of those Germans are in the regular playing rotation, including national team forward Robin Benzing.

I think that's the most successful game of Count The Germans we've had so far.



- Will Conroy

Apart from very short stints in the NBA and Italy, Conroy has been in the D-League since leaving the University of Washington in 2005. This means he probably still has a mortgage, because the D-League does not pay well. Conroy has done this for the simple reason that he knows he's on the cusp of the NBA, and the best way to get in it when you're that close is to be in the D-League and wait for opportune 10 day deals. However, despite averaging 27/8/5/2 down there last year, Conroy still couldn't get any guaranteed money in training camp this year, and went to the Rockets camp in October on a completely unguaranteed deal. Then, in spite of the Rockets having only two point guards, Conroy lost out on a roster spot to Brian Cook, because Cook's expiring salary can't be traded if he's not on the roster. And trading that remains a possibility, however small. So it was no joy for Will.

The guards to have been called up from the D-League to the NBA so far this season are Sundiata Gaines, Mario West, Cedric Jackson and JamesOn Curry. While Gaines' story has been quite cool, what else does Conroy have to do? No one in the NBA really needs Conroy right now, not even the Rockets, but he's being passed over for lesser players and has been for a while. If teams need a point guard to call up as injury cover, Conroy is ready and waiting, but they're not doing so. Worse still for Conroy; he just turned 27, and the window is closing.

Conroy went to China to start this season, but lost out in the crush that saw basically every former NBA player vying for spots there. He has since rejoined the D-League and is averaging 14.3 points, 8.4 assists and 4.1 rebounds per game for the Rio Grande Valley Vipers.



- Omar Cook

Montenegrin national team starter Omar Cook is one of the best point guards in Europe. His team Unicaja Malaga have turned over their backcourt recently, replacing Taquan Dean and Shammond Williams with Juan Dixon and Zabian Dowdell, but Cook remains a mainstay and one of the best passers on the continent. He averages 9.3 points and 5.7 assists per game in 25 minutes per game in the ACB, alongside 8.9 points and 6.0 assists per game in the Euroleague. If those assists numbers don't look like much, consider:

a) the minutes played.

b) the fact that assists are far harder to get in Europe; double the number and subtract a bit for their NBA equivalents.

c) the fact that the Euroleague and the ACB represent the second and third best standards of basketball in the world, and Cook is second in them both in assists per game.

Maybe now you'll understand why he is totally badass.

Also note; in 19 ACB games this year, Cook has only scored in double figures 6 times. One of the, however, was a 35 point explosion. That was fun.



- Brandon Costner

NC State product Costner was Coleman's teammate at Dexia before getting hurt in late October. He was replaced by Curtis Sumpter, but rejoined the team in early December, and is averaging 10.6 points and 4.0 rebounds on the Belgian league season. He was doing a lot better before the injury.

From what I've seen of him there this year, Costner has foresaken any remaining impulses to pretend he's a power forward any more.



- Ryvon Covile

Detroit Mercy product Covile is playing his second season with Orleans in France, with this year having an added bonus; Orleans are (or rather, were) a Euroleague team. In that competition, The Detergent averaged 9.2 points, 3.7 rebounds and 3.3 fouls, alongside 10.1 points, 5.0 rebounds and 2.1 fouls per game in the French league. Covile's rebounding was his staple in college, yet he's not proving to be much of a rebounder now that he's undersized in the pros. However, his offensive output has increased over the years, which makes up for it.



- Chris Crawford

As regular readers will know, Crawford has been a particular point of interest over the years due to his complete disappearance a few years ago. That issue was addressed at length here, and an impassioned two person internet campaign to find Chris Crawford produced the following results:

1) He lives in Galesburg, Michigan.
2) He owns a company called "Slam Dunk Stables," a thoroughbred racing stable that either is or was part-owned by Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

I don't think we need any more than that.



- Joe Crawford

Crawford was in camp with the Knicks, yet despite having the guaranteed money advantage over Marcus Landry, Landry beat him to the 14th roster spot. And the Knicks didn't keep fifteen out of training camp, for as we later learned, they were keeping number 15 for Jonathan Bender. Crawford rejoined the D-League - where he will earn about half of the $50,000 the Knicks are paying him not to play - where he was assigned to the L.A. D-Fenders. He is averaging 17.7 points and 3.8 assists per game.



Finally....

- Austin Croshere

Despite playing for three NBA teams last year - the Pacers, the Bucks and the Spurs - Croshere has not played for any this year. It doesn't look like he's going to, either, as he now does television and occasional radio work for the Pacers.



Remember to use the site's Twitter account, which is rife with news of players not worthy enough for their own posts. For example, would you like to know which former Oklahoma State player was just suspended for signing in both Portugal and Montenegro at the same? If so, go there.

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 11

- I have no idea where Keon Clark is, specifically, but the answer is probably jail.

- Milone Clark averages 4.8 points and 3.4 rebounds for the Sioux Falls Skyforce. I openly admit to knowing basically nothing about Milone Clark, but, as a player who has never put up good numbers at any stage of his career (he even only scored 15ppg in the Ecuadorian league) yet who somehow landed a training camp spot with the Knicks in 2006......well, Milone Clark is either a very good defensive guard, or Isiah Thomas was knocking him off too. In which case, Milone, you'd better sue. You'll make a mint.

- Mateen Cleaves is also in the D-League, where he averages 13.2 points and 8.2 assists for the Bakersfield Jam. (Also note - the jumpshot is still broken.) The 8.2 assists is good for second in the league, behind only Walker Russell, who is way out in front with 11.1 apg. But only six players in the entire D-League average over 7 apg, which is somewhat unremarkable in a league with an unsubtle emphasis on pushing the ball and stat padding. Then again, maybe they're all too busy shooting.

- Keith Closs is still an amusing sideshow. Closs spent last year in the D-League with the Tulsa 66ers, where he admitted to his alcoholism and posted a season featuring nearly as many blocks per game (2.8) as rebounds (4.7), yet this seaspn he left the D-League to go to China. Signing with the Yunnan Honghe Running Bulls, Closs averaged 14.2 points, 9.9 rebounds and 4.5 blocks in the Chinese league, which frequently boasts amusingly lopsided statistics (speaking of, if and when we get to the letter W, have a look at Bonzi Wells's scoring average), but left the team for reasons unbeknownst to me. Closs then had a trial with another Chinese team, the Liaoning Panpan Hunters, but left earlier this month and is currently unsigned. Somewhere in amongst all that, Closs managed to apply for Phillipino citizenship, for reasons that are also unbeknownst to me. And Slam Magazine also carried this story about him, which, like most Keith Closs stories, is kind of fun. While we're on the subject of fun Keith Closs moments, here is Keith Closs blocking two shots in what looks dangerously like a high school game, and flexing afterwards:



And here's the old classic of him being beaten up:



Ladies and gentleman, Mr Keith Closs.


- Coleman Collins is also in the D-League, averaging 12.4 points and 6.4 rebounds on a disappointing 43% shooting for the Fort Wayne Mad Ants.

- Will Conroy leads the D-League in scoring, with a 25.0 points per game average for the Albuquerque Thunderbirds, and he is also tied for third in assists at 7.6 apg. The little git also averages a handy 4.4 rebounds, and fills up the stat sheet further with 2.6 steals per game. However, rather than being instantly deemed the next Chris Paul, Conroy's averages need some kind of context - he puts up these numbers in a numbers heavy league, while averaging a whopping 44.9 minutes a game. Conroy also leads the league in turnovers with 4.5 a game, leading to an assist/turnover ratio of a mediocre 1.7:1, and while he shoots a huge number of free throws (169 FTA to 283 FGA), he hits them at only 70%. Nevertheless, Conroy is behind only Eddie Gill in the Order In Which D-League Point Guards Are To Be Called Up To The NBA (note: such a list does not really exist), and if the Lakers sign Gill - as they are threatening to do - then things are looking good for Conroy when Phoenix need another mandatory 13th man.

- Montenegran legend Omar Cook averages 5.2 points, 1.8 steals and 4.9 assists for Unicaja Malaga in Spain. That might not seem like much - and the points certainly aren't - but it comes in only 22 minutes per game, in a country where assists are far harder to come by. That 4.9 assists is good for third in the Spanish league, and Cook's averages in the Euroleague - 5.0ppg, 5.1 apg - had him tied for the tournament lead in assists there, too. So there's some more context for you.

- Ryvon Covile is in France, playing for Orleans (not New Orleans, but the old one). Covile averages 10.8 points and 6.8 rebounds while still boasting the greatest name in the Western world.

- Chris Crawford has now been out of basketball for about 5 years, and yet I still feel morally obligated to tell you that he's not playing every year. Since the last time I told you this, only one new shred of information has come to light, that being this quote from his Wikipedia page:

During the summers they [Crawford and his brother] often golf at Milham Park Golf Course in their hometown of Kalamazoo, MI.

That's fun, clearly. But it's time for a new rule - no more Chris Crawford updates on this website. Not unless there's ever anything to actually report, like if he commits a murder or becomes King of Poland or something.


- Joe Crawford didn't make the Lakers's regular season roster out of training camp, but the Lakers own their own D-League affiliate, the Los Angeles D-Fenders. As a result, Crawford was immediately allocated there upon signing with the D-League, where he currently averages 20.9 points, 4.8 rebounds and 3.2 assists. Note to all NBA teams out there - if you want to keep lots of your training camp signings and former players, buy your own D-League affilate and wait for the allocations to come pouring in. It seems to work wonders. Crawford can technically sign a contract with any NBA team (and even turn down the Lakers if he so chose), but if the San Antonio Spurs and the Austin Toros slightly illicit partnership is anything to go on.....he won't.

- Austin Croshere signed with the Indiana Pacers, lost out to the guaranteed contract of Stephen Graham (who looks to have finally found a steady spot in the NBA), was claimed off of waivers by the Milwaukee Bucks, hit a few three pointers, and was waived last week to avoid the contract guarantee date. However, if my understanding of prorating the salaries of league-reimbursed veterans is correct - and it probably isn't - then waiving Croshere saves the Bucks only about $300,000, and his part season of insignifcance cost them almost double that. So was it really worth waiving him? Don't know. It depends on if I'm right, I guess. The lesson, as always: I'm probably not right.

- T.J. Cummings came to The Arse early in the year, but then pulled out. I really enjoyed writing that sentence.

Summer signings, round 29

- The Nets figured out that they could use a point guard, given that they only have two right now, one of whom is a shooting guard. So they brought in their former player Eddie Gill, as well as GM Kiki Vanderweghe's former mistake, Julius Hodge. They also signed another old boy, Awvee Storey, as well as some fella called Brian Hamilton. Those two can now battle valiantly for two weeks for the spot of 7th small forward on the roster, before both being waived anyway. Tough life.

- Jiri Hubalek's replacement at Phoenix's training camp is a man known by the slightly superb name of Coleman Collins, who played for the Raptors in summer league. Also turning out for the Suns' camp are Robert Hite, a highly capable three point shooter, and Trey Johnson, whose name suggests that he should be.

- The Clippers added Curtis Sumpter amongst their list of camp signings, and just as I was about to write about how they still made this move after barely playing him in their summer league campaign, I then realised that it wasn't Curtis Sumpter who played for the Clippers in summer league, but Curtis Stinson! Haha! God! I bet Sumpter gets that, like, ALL the time!

- In other Clippers news, Jason Williams retired not long after signing with the team. Bugger! I was really hoping for a J-Dub Redux, so much so that I have mentioned it like 80 times. And now we won't have one. Damn shame.

- Chicago made easily the best training camp signings out of everyone, because they're the best franchise in the sport. Genius comes naturally to them, and these signings reflect that. But enough of this overused hubris - they did actually make two good signings with Elton Brown and Darius Washington, fringe NBA players who can bring something that the team otherwise lacks, were they to make the roster. Roger Powell has far less chance of doing anything, but at least they get "hometown boy makes hometown team" stories out of it.

- Orlando made three signings of their own, with forward Jeremy Richardson, center Dwayne Jones, and point guard Mike Wilks. Three of my favourite fringe NBA players, they are. But I bet only Wilks sticks. Shame.

- Francisco Garcia somehow got a 5 year, $30 million extension from the Kings, which is basically MLE money. This after one decent year. Based on last year's play, and last year's play only, is Garcia worthy of the MLE? No, not really. He learnt how to shoot, but only to the direct detriment of his defense. Yet somehow, the Kings think that this one semi-decent season from a soon to be 27 year old backup is worth giving him a 5 year novelty oversized extension. Okay. Have fun paying him $7 million when he's 32. (Note: if Garcia tunes his game to the point where he plays the average defense that he used to play, yet keeps his fancy new jumpshot as well, then this will be fine.)

- Sammy Mejia, former draft pick of the Pistons, has signed for a Greek team named AEL 1964 Larissa, whose name derives from a joyous union of some opticians, the seminal Beatles smash "I Want To Hold Your Hand", and a 6'4 black transexual hooker. Sounds like a good night in.

- Philadelphia fully committed to this training camp idea, bringing in four players, seemingly stuck on the "R" page of their available players directory. Maureece Rice is a short fat guard who can't play point guard and who just came off a pretty damn poor senior year, Antywane Robinson is a training camp veteran small forward with an affection for his unspectacular jumpshot, Jared Reiner is a legend, and Justin Reed is trying to get back into the league after being one of the better players in the D-League last year. Those last two have a chance, depending on how deep the Sixers want to go. The Sixers also signed veteran Andre Emmett, but he has far less of a chance.

- Miami signed Eddie Basden as a energetic defensive guard with no offensive talent, and Matt Walsh as a perimeter shooter. But, considering that the Heat have already signed Koobs Diawara and James Earl Jones for those two roles, both of whoom have considerably more guaranteed money coming to them, you can probably go ahead and say with some confidence that there ain't no way in hell they're making the team. The Heat also signed Omar Barlett and Tre Kelley for camp, the kind of signings that training camp is about - a 28 year old forward so obscure that I had to translate the Polish calendar to figure out when his birthdate is, and a small guard who goes by an alias unbefitting of his style of play. Good times. I love training camp, me.



This will be the last of the summer signings posts, by the way. This is partly because news has pretty much dried up, and that most news now is just training camp signings, which will be fully documented in another post. But mainly, it's because it's not summer any more.

We'll go out with a bang. Two bangs, in fact. You're getting banged from all angles. Giggidy.

- Former Atlanta Hawks forward Hanno Mottola retired from the game last week, while in theory still at his "peak". That's bang number one.

- Bang number two; the mighty Shawn Kemp comeback, mentioned before here, is over after precisely 0 games. Kemp showed up in reasonable shape, but then stopped showing up at all. After flying home briefly to the USA - ostensibly to check that his property was fine after recent hurricanes - Kemp never came back, and the team ended the experiment, on seemingly courteous terms. To replace Kemp, the team have signed former NBA brick shithouse Brandon Hunter.

That is all. Summer officially just ended. So sayeth the Lord.