Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 55

Didn't get on the telly. Shame.

- Charlie Ward retired in 2004, and briefly became an assistant coach with the Rockets. However, he left that gig, and has instead found a place and a job that caters to his three biggest passions in life; basketball, American football, and Christianity. Ward is now the head football coach at Westbury Christian School in Houston, Texas, as well as an assistant coach on the basketball team. He also recently quarterbacked again, albeit only for a fun day. Question: if you were to ask Charlie Ward whether he regrets turning down an NFL career for his decent if underwhelming NBA career, what would he say? Genuinely intrigued by that.

- Darius Washington signed with the Bulls for preseason, and played very well in one of the preseason games. He didn't make the cut, though, and nor was he ever going to. Washington then signed with Ural Great Perm in Russia, where he is averaging 13.0 points and 3.6 assists per game in the EuroChallenge, along with 14.6 points, 3.1 rebounds and 3.0 assists per game in the Russian league. Did you know that Darius Washington is now a Macedonian citizen? Fun fact.

- Pistons draft pick Deron Washington is averaging 15.3 points, 6.2 rebounds, 2.0 steals and 1.2 blocks per game for Hapoel Holon in Israel. He recently helped the team to win the Israeli Cup, but is only shooting 23% on the year from three point range. So he still can't shoot.

- Darryl Watkins did not make the cut from the Spurs training camp, and then went to TianJin in China. Everyone loves Chinese numbers, and a post on this subject may well be soon appearing, so until then wrap your lips around this bad boy: 20.8 points, 14.1 rebounds and 3.5 assists.

- Jameel Watkins is also in China, playing for the Jiangsu Nangang Dragons. His numbers are highly comparable to the other Watkins, but slightly worse: Jameel averages 20.7 points, 13.5 rebounds, 4.6 fouls and 2.1 blocks per game.

- Clarence Weatherspoon is not in China, but it would be great if he was.

- Chris Webber now does TV work on both NBA TV and Inside The NBA, and is supposedly writing a book, presumably one about basketball and not metamorphic rock identification or anything. He also just had his jersey number retired by the Sacramento Kings, somewhat needlessly. Fun fact: did you know that Chris Webber released an album back in 1999? You may well have done. But I didn't. Genuinely intrigued by this, too.

- Frederic Weis recently moved from Iurbentia Bilbao to ViveMenorca, both Spanish ACB teams. Weis averaged 2.3 points and 4.4 rebounds in the ACB for Bilbao, and has totalled 6 points and 19 rebounds in the 60 minutes that he has played for Menorca through three games.

- Jiri Welsch is playing for Unicaja Malaga, averaging 7.6 points, 3.4 rebounds and 2.1 assists in the Spanish league, alongside 8.5 points, 2.6 rebounds and an insignificant number of assists in the Euroleague. His stats from previous seasons can be found here, on his personal website, as can a deeply sinister picture of him looking like a recently goosed Frankie Dettori.

- David Wesley was traded as an unguaranteed contract twice in the 2007 offseason, and was waived by New Jersey before the season began. He hasn't signed since, and isn't going to, either. Fun fact: did you know that David Wesley is Michael Dickerson's cousin? No, me neither.

- Finally, you probably already knew that Bonzi Wells signed in China this season, and you probably knew that he has since left. And you probably knew that he stuffed the stat sheet in every plausible way during his time there. But you might not know the specifics, and so I'm here to oblige you with that.

On the season, in only 14 games, Bonzi averaged 42.1 minutes, 34.3 points, 8.9 rebounds, 4.1 assists and 3.8 steals per game. He shot 45% on the year, and 70% from the free throw line, and certainly wasn't waived because he wasn't producing. But a closer look at the numbers reveals a man who miiiiiiight not have been trying that hard. In those 14 games, Bonzi shot 156 three pointers, which for maths fans out there is a shade over 11 attempts per game. This seems like it's too many ('ooh, you think?'), but particularly so for a man who hit them at only 33%, and who hasn't shot the three pointer well since a fluke season in 2001/02. (For comparison's sake, Bonzi shot 50 three pointers combined last season in 73 NBA games for the Rockets and Hornets, hitting 12. And he hit 11 combined the previous two seasons.) Bonzi started out with a bash (giggidy), averaging 47 points through his first four games, shooting a Damon Stoudamire-like 57 threes in that span. But he scored only 3 points in a foul-plagued fifth game, and averaged a far more normal 32.2 ppg after that. The three's continued to go up, though, and with the foul plagued fifth game excluded (in which he shot only three), Bonzi never attempted less than seven 3 pointers in any game. I do not know why.

Bonzi Wells would be in the NBA right now, earning about $8 million, if Geoff Petrie had had his way. Something to consider.

Top 24 NBA Sex Scandals Of The Last 15 Years

In case you missed it, a story "broke" (if that's the right way to phrase something that's been around, but underacknowledged, since about 1998) NBA legend Karl Malone knocked up a 13 year old girl when he was a college player. Why this has gone past us so quietly is a mystery, but it does seem to be just one more in a long list of recent NBA sex scandals. And so here is that list.

Stories listed in no particular order.



LIST OF NBA PLAYERS (and owners) IN RAPE/WEIRD NAUGHTY SEX STUFF SCANDALS:


1 - Karl Malone: See above.

2 - Bryant Matthews: Former Raptor (for about a week) only got out of jail earlier this year for a rape charge in which he walked in on his friend and his friend's girlfriend having sex in a hotel room, and stuck his fingers in her lovely lady lump. His in-court defense was "[I] thought she was cool with it". Apparently she wasn't. Served nine months.

3 - DeShawn Stevenson: Had consensual sex with a 14 year old when he was 20, which isn't rape in the she-didn't-want-it sense, but which is clearly statutory. Pleaded no contest to sex with a minor. Was sentenced to 2 years probation and 100 hours of community service, which somewhat sadistically was served at a "Boys And Girls" club.

4 - Ruben Patterson: Sentenced to a year in jail (all but 15 days of which were suspended) after pleading no contest to an attempted rape charge on his nanny. Allegedly, she came in to find Patterson standing naked, masturbating. He then forced her to gigoogidy his gerschmoigin, and ejaculated within seconds. Only then did he let her leave. Allegedly. Also fined $100,000 by the Blazers, which seemed a little ironic since they'd just given him $35 million, even with this charge hanging over him. Additionally received 2 years probation, a $5,000 fine and had to pay the nanny.

5 - Chris Webber and Juwan Howard: Accused of sexual assault. Jury decided not to indict. Howard later sued the accuser, won, and donated his $100,000 settlement to a rape crisis centre.

6 - Ron Mercer, Antoine Walker and Chauncey Billups: Details on this are sparse, but apparently they were sued for rape. Why would you sue for rape? Why wouldn't you press charges? I don't get it. Either way, no charges were brought, and an out-of-court settlement was reached. (The incident took place at Walker's home, where - allegedly - he walked in on the act, and declined his housemate Michael Irvin's invitation to dive right in there. Strange times.)

7 - Andray Blatche: Arrested and charged with solicitation. Was sentenced to attend a day's seminar on the dangers of prostitution, which seems like no punishment whatsoever.

8 - Kwame Brown: Accused of sexual assault after a playoff game. No charges brought due to a lack of evidence. The woman in question admitted to a consensual encounter, and then apparently it got less consensual. But that doesn't explain why she then hung around for hours afterwards.

9 - Kobe Bryant: Yeah, you know this story. Case dropped in criminal court, settlement reached in civil court.

10 - Jahidi White: Investigated for sexual assault. Details extremely absent. No charges. (Rumour has it that it involved a nude Oriental lady and a fat white chick. And lots of crying. Allegedly.)

11 - Julius Hodge: Accused of sexual assault on a Denver woman. The woman claimed that, after driving her back to her house after being at a club, Hodge forced her onto the bed and tried to rape her. No charges were brought due to lack of evidence. The woman was then jailed for violating her concurrent probation by being out that late.

12 - Michael Olowokandi: Sued for rape by a woman who claims that the encounter led to the less-than-immaculate conception. Can't seem to find out what became of this.

13 - Mo Peterson, Cliff Robinson, Juwan Howard again: All sued at some point for allegedly deliberating infecting someone with herpes. In Juwan's case, it happened twice. The suit against Robinson was for an enormous $20 million, and tests showed that he did (does?) indeed have it. (The herpes, not the $20 million.)

14 - Sam Cassell: Accused of rape way back in 1996. No charges brought.

15 - Elden Campbell: Sued for an apparent date rape, in which he allegedly drugged someone before raping them. I don't know what became of this, because it was back in 1997, and my only source of research is the internet. And the internet wasn't much back in 1997. But obviously not much came of it, or else we would have known about it. Date rape is a pretty bloody serious allegation, after all.

16 - Latrell Sprewell: Investigated for sexual assault after apparently choking a woman he was having consensual sex with on his boat. Don't know what became of this, which implies that it was probably nothing. (But he did later have the boat repossessed.)

17 - Donald Sterling: Admitted to paying a woman for sex for a numbers of years. The story offered up some awesome quotes.

18 - George Shinn: Accused of a kidnapping-for-sex charge, after allegedly luring a woman whom he knew was addicted to prescription drugs to his home, and shagging her. Admitted to having sex with her, but said it was consensual. No criminal charges were brought, and acquitted in civil court.

19 - Bobby Simmons: Arrested for misdemeanour fourth degree assault after allegedly fondling the breasts of a woman who got into his car in the early hours of the morning, and then punching her in the face. Charges not brought due to lack of evidence.

20 - Bernard Robinson Jr: Arrested and charged with assault and battery on a female student after touching her up in a stairwell. Sentenced to a year's probation which included such terms as a written letter of apology, never talking to the girl again, being fined $850, complete abstention from drugs and alcohol, and being forced to partcipiate in sex offender "screening" to see if he had serial sex offender tendencies. That must have been soul destroying.

21 - Justin Williams: Accused of rape. Later dropped. It never became official, but his lawyer alluded to the fact that he did nail the chick while on camera, which would have been rather conclusive in a court of law as to the level of consensual loving.

22 - Calvin Murphy: Former player and Rockets announcer accused of sexual abuse by 5 of his illegitimate children (he has 14 kids, 11 illegitimate). Jury acquitted him in less than two hours. But he lost his job and his reputation, so the damage was done.

23 - Eddie Johnson: "Fast" Eddie Johnson (not the other Eddie Johnson, the sixth man award winner, but the one who is a former Hawks player) was accused of sexual assault on an 8 year old girl. As far as I can tell, he is awaiting sentencing, but that may be wrong.

24 - Nick Anderson: Accused of rape. Held a press conference on the subject in which he cried a lot,



Add any of your own. (Not "add any of your own rape charges", but "add any of your own submissions for NBA players sex scandals that I may have missed.)

A brief question and answer session

Recently, the Philadelpha 76ers fired their President Billy King on multiple counts of general incompetence. It needed to happen years ago, but didn't. Still, better late than never.

However, I have a question (or three) on the subject, that needs answering.

QUESTION: Why did they let King handle the incredibly unsuccessful Allen Iverson trade and this whole past offseason of mismanagement before they decided to follow him? Why did they let him put the team in a position to rebuild, by dealing Iverson for assets and buying out Chris Webber, just to them allow him to screw that position by not tanking in the last draft, trading away one of the first rounders they received for no return in order to save money, and then spending that money on Calvin Booth and Reggie Evans? Did they really think going through a rebuilding phase with King leading the way - if only for a little bit - would ever be sensible?

ANSWER: ..........?