- Carlos Delfino is still with Khimky in Russia, despite the rumours of a return to the Raptors ramping up a bit after Toronto dumped Hassan Adams off to the Clippers a fortnight ago. However, while these rumours may not be unfounded, they sure are illogical. Let me tell you why the Raptors dumped Hassan Adams - they dumped Hassan Adams because Brian Colangelo gave Adams a guaranteed contract in July, something which Hassan then used as an excuse to not work very hard, showing up fat and unable to do the one thing that he's quite good at - running around off the ball. Additionally, Hassan Adams is not very good, which in hindsight was another reason not to give him that guaranteed contract. However, because Colangelo did, he brought the team so close to the tax threshold ($1,107 beneath it, to be exact) that the team could only carry 13 players in order to stay under it. When their big man injury situation got so bad that they had to sign somebody (Jake Voskuhl), the Raptors had to shift a contract in order to get underneath the threshold again. Adams was the logical choice - he was the final man on the bench, filled no team needs, had an appropriately sized yet easily moveable, and should never have been on the team in the first place. So the Raptors gave the Clippers some money as an incentive for taking on Hassan's dead weight cap number. THAT'S why the Raptors moved Hassan Adams. It wasn't a precursor to some move for Carlos bloody Delfino.
Let me ask you something - when you're so staunchly obliged to stay under the luxury tax that you can't even sign the irrelevant Jake Voskuhl without having to make corresponding roster moves to free up the money, while carrying the league minimum players all season in a bid to save further money, are you really going to throw a few million at a backup wing player, who just played his supposed career season with you and who still wasn't very good, chucking like Berry and somehow managing to shoot slightly less than his piss poor career average of 40% shooting? No, no you aren't. No matter how desperate you are for a short term fix,, Carlos Delfino isn't it. He's especially not it when obtaining him means roundly buggering your extremely delicate salary situation. And so that's why the Raptors won't be signing Carlos Delfino this season. Or if they do, they're dumb.
(By the way, Delfino averages 11.4 points and 4.1 rebounds in Russian league play. It's all good information.)
- Tony Delk retired from professional basketball in November 2007. This retirement lasted a mere manner of months, as he quickly unretired to join a team in Puerto Rico. Three games later, Delk retired again, and is now a "technical advisor" to that same Puerto Rican team, the Gigantes of Carolina. I assume that this means he mends the Jumbotron every now and then, and plays lots of Minesweeper.
- Derrick Dial is currently in the D-League with the Tulsa 66ers, which isn't really the place for 33 year old journeyman. Nevertheless, Dial is there, and he averages 11.3 points, 4.1 rebounds, 3.9 assists and 38% shooting, as the sixth man on a Tulsa team that averages 21.3 turnovers a game. And that's a lot of turnovers.
- Dimitris Diamantidis is in his fifth season with Panathinaikos, averaging 10.4 points, 4.9 rebounds and 3.6 assists in Euroleague play.
[Did I really just say "chucking like Berry"? Jesus. You'd better go. I wouldn't read me either.]
- Guillermo Diaz averages 17.6 points and 2.0 assists for Eldo Caserta, the Italian team that Jamar Butler also just joined. The 2.0 assists is a team high (tied with Butler, although Butler has played only three games), so there's clearly not a lot of passing from the Eldo backcourt there. Although that's probably not that surprising, coming from a backcourt featuring Guillermo Diaz, Horace Jenkins and Shan Foster.
- Dan Dickau is unsigned, and still trying to add to his healthy old list of NBA Teams That Dan Dickau Has Belonged To For At Least 8 Minutes - the Lakers are supposedly interested in him.
- Kaniel Dickens is in the Italian second division. He was in the first division, but his team - Napoli - went bankrupt, and so Kaniel had to look elsewhere. For Cimberio Varese, playing alongside Randolph Childress, Dickens averages 14.3 points and 7.1 rebounds, both team highs. While writing Kaniel's name just now, I noticed that an anagram of it happened to be "Dick Linesnake", which might just be the best name for a male porn star that I've ever heard. That, or he's an Anchorman character. Good times.
- Michael Dickerson's random comeback didn't last very long. Signing with the Cavaliers for training camp, after five and a half years out of the game, Dickerson faced impossible odds to make the team, and didn't overcome them. After being waived, Dickerson went back where he came from - to India, on a voyage of "spiritual discovery". Alrighty.
- Alain Digbeu - some old French git whsoe rights the Hawks still own - started the season with Kavala/Panorama in Greece (a team that seemingly couldn't decide which name to use), but left earlier this month. Whether he jumped or whether he was pushed, I couldn't say, but the 7.1 points per game on 36% shooting probably made him livewithoutable.
- And finally, an update on two players that have already been mentioned, but whose circumstances have since changed. Justin Frazier has signed with the San Antonio Spurs on a ten day contract, although what the Spurs think they'll see in those ten days that Austin hasn't shown over the last 12 years is a bit baffling. And, after describing at reasonable length how former Lakers guard Maurice Carter was seemingly out of basketball, he has just this week gotten back into it, as he was acquired by the Rio Grande Valley Vipers of the D-League.
Spooky coincidence? Maybe. But I'd like to think that I'm responsible for him getting employment. I'm not, but I like to think it anyway.
1) As you may know, Houston traded Steve Francis, a 2009 second round draft pick and cash to Memphis for a conditional 2011 second round pick. Memphis's end of this is simple. They got their pick back for free. Houston gave them Francis, enough money to pay him for the rest of the year (or most of it, at least), and Memphis's own 2nd rounder next year, which they'd previously given to Houston while moving up in the draft this summer. In return, Memphis only gave them a conditional second in 2011, which will be like top 55 protected or something, so they won't even lose it anyway. They can now either waive Francis without fear of reprisal, get a free look at him as a player (bloody unlikely), or keep him as an expiring. But more importantly, they're getting their high second rounder back. for no cost. It's a good move. As for Houston, they give up a second that they don't need in order to get under the luxury tax. It's a good move for them, too.
But here's the real important thing: I TOTALLY called it. In this post, just underneath the picture of the fat lady with no bum crack, I wrote this:
(After Antonio McDyess's buyout, Denver is now no more than a small dollop over their eternal enemy, the luxury tax threshold. If they waft a pick Memphis's way, they should be able to dump Chucky Atkins, whose salary for next year is only $760,000 guaranteed, thus not affecting Memphis's 2009 cap space plan much. This move gets Denver under the tax, finally, and it need only cost them the pick that they got from Charlotte for Alexis Ajinca to do it. Also note that I'm just an ideas man, not a soothsayer. Houston would be sensible to do much the same with Steve Francis, who is entirely surplus to requirements in both Memphis and Houston, and whose salary is keeping the Rockets in the tax territory. But his expiring is tolerable for the Grizzlies with apt sweeteners. With those two deals, Memphis could gain two picks without changing their long or short term plans, while Houston and Denver save lots of money on players and picks that they don't need. To me, this makes sense. Does that mean it will happen? No. But, between now and February, I'd place a call. Boy, this bracket got a bit long.)
Get some. I wonder if the Grizzlies general manager reads what I write.
2) Oklahoma City signed Nenad Krstic - technically still a Nets free agent - to an offer sheet, one which the Nets will apparently not match. This offers up a variety of questions (such as, quite how scary is this supposed European exodus going to be. when even the European deserters come back within 6 months?), but most of all, look at their prospective depth chart with Krstic on it.
Now obviously, things will work out to be slightly different to this. For example, it makes sense for Green to now take on a sixth man role, and for some combination of Krstic, Collison and Wilcox to fill the starting power forward and centre spots. Steven Hill is also the logical man to be cut once Krstic arrives. But even so, the signing of Krstic makes the Thunder's depth chart even wonkier. Why the hell do you want six centres? Why would you draft D.J. White with so many players in front of him? Why would you then sign Hill and Krstic as well? Why would you also draft Serge Ibaka and DeVon Hardin with your other picks? Why can you only play for the Thunder if you can scratch your ankles while standing up? Why would a team with literally every hole to fill concentrate solely on the same? I realise the value of good big men, but Sam Presti, hit us up with some deadline deals, because your roster is pretty friggin' ramshackle at the moment. And also, don't sign Ben Gordon this summer, whatever you do. As far as you need to know, he's a no-defense chucker with a humility problem. Let's ignore the truth for a minute and run with that. You don't want him. Sign more centres. Spend your money elsewhere. There's a good lad.
3) The following video of Devin Harris is about as comfortable as the early morning shit after a night on the Guinness.
They're right, though. Devin Harris should be in the All Star game. And Allen Iverson should not. You know when Allen Iverson made that quotation fingers "magnanamous" gesture, when he first suggested standing aside to let Michael Jordan start in the All Star game, even when Iverson was the better player? (Which, by the way, was possibly the worst thing I've ever seen in my time following the NBA. Someone owes Vince Carter a big friggin' apology.) Well, now is the time for another such gesture. It's not meant as disrespect, Allen, but these other players are better than you now. You won't lose fans if you did so, and even if you did, you clearly have way too many anyway. Let's make this happen.
Similarly, if Yi Jianlian gets in, let's boycott the damn thing.
4) Really don't see the point in New York overpaying for Carlos Delfino, but, whatever. It can't hurt.
5) Short baseball tangent: people out there are trying way too hard to put a negative slant on the fact that the Yankees just signed both the best hitter and the best pitcher on the market. You don't have to like the any, but at least acknowledge that this is what they did. Like every team in the world, they needed an ace and a excellent slugger. Unlike every team in the world, though, they were able to get them.
6) No, I don't trust the source either, but if Sacramento trades John Salmons to Toronto for Andrea Bargnani and a first round pick, that is all kinds of good news for the Kings. John Salmons's value physically cannot get any higher right now, unless he were to start averaging 30 points. He's playing extremely well, tied in on a remarkably cheap contract, and in the prime of his career. This also isn't a fluke - he put on much the same performance to start last year, when injuries again cleared the way for him. If John Salmons is not traded by Sacramento before the deadline, that's a big old misstep they've made there. Particularly after committing so much money to the wing pairing of Kevin Martin and Francisco Garcia.
7) I realise that things haven't gone quite right since he did it, but why is Stephen Jackson thinking about a trade only five weeks after signing an extension? And, from the same article, quite why the hell hasn't Chris Mullin quit? He has nothing to gain from pissing in the wind, and he'll get another gig with another team soon enough.
8) In keeping with this website's policy of never bringing you any news that is worth knowing, here's a scandalous and pathetic story about Raptors anticlimax Jermaine O'Neal touching the arse of a woman whose life and career revolves around her ability to fellate famous people. Superhead, meet Superforehead.
9) The previous joke was stolen from a superior person.
10) Merry Christmas to you and yours. My life is in a good place right now, and I hope that yours is too. If it isn't, it will be.
- So, in the last post, I talk about how the Boston Celtics free agents aren't expected back. I wasn't speculating or breaking news, merely regurgitating the news offered up by various Celtics beat writers. What then immediately happens? Eddie House and Tony Allen re-sign. Ter-bloody-riffic. Can't I be allowed to self-own without the assistance of others? I say enough dumb shit of my own to kick my own arse many times over. I don't need the incisive input of others to further drag me down, too. Dammit. The lesson, as ever: screw Danny Ainge.
- Speaking of the Celtics, they were also reported to be in the running for Golden State Warriors free agent forward, Matt Barnes. But Barnes has apparently (and I'm using that word at all times now) committed to sign with the Phoenix Suns for the minimum. How the hell did that happen? How did a decent player go for the minimum, when we're still only in the first month of free agency, a month that has seen inferior and comparable players go for the full mid level exception? How have Matt Barnes and his agent not managed to turn his career resurgence into a single multi-year contract yet? How did Steve Kerr manage to pull off such a good move? And why couldn't the Celtics wade in with at least their bi-annual exception? The lesson, as ever: screw Danny Ainge.
(Note: Rumour has it that the Celtics are pursuing Dallas Mavericks forward Devean George, who isn't expected to re-sign with Dallas for obvious reasons. (Also note: for those unaware of the obvious reasons, here they are: 1) Devean George is a bit crap, and 2) Devean George vetoed the original Jason Kidd deal, which, while rather inconsequential in the end, was definitely a bit embarassing. Double bracket.) George isn't a bad backup plan for the Celtics, despite me just calling him "a bit crap". But I still don't see why you wouldn't offer offer just a teeeeeny bit more for Matt Barnes, luxury tax ramifications be damned. You just won a title, for God's sake. Why such tight purse strings?)
- Josh Childress has balls of steel. Depending on who you believe, it's all but a done deal that Childress is going to sign with Olympiakos in Greece, in what is either the biggest deal ever signed by a European team, or close to it. There are people scattered all around the internet who can write, will write, and who are writiing considerably longer articles about what this move will mean for the long term future of the NBA, and particularly the perils and pitfalls of restricted free agency, something which I personally hope dies a miserable death. (Through a combination of the draft, restricted free agency, and being traded, some NBA players can go their whole careers without ever being able to choose their place of employment. How is that fair, even with the massive salaries that they get?) I, however, can't be bothered. But I will commend Childress for his testicular fortitude - trapped in a situation without any real leverage, he managed to find some, a victory for humanity and oppression everywhere. And for Europe, obviously. (By the way, for those who love to say things like "Childress won't fit in in Europe because he's not a very good shooter".....there's more to European basketball than shooting, you know.)
- Nets forward Bostjan Nachbar has also gone to Europe, signing with Dynamo Moscow (that's in Moscow) for three years. The weird pile-on effect from the Childress move is the subsequent over-analysis of the decision for every player who signs in Europe, such as Nachbar and Carlos Delfino. Suddenly, every European signing is symbolic of the demise of the strength of the dollar, or of a systematic failure of the NBA machine. But caught up in that overexuberance are two key oversights:
1) Nachbar and Delfino both started out in European leagues, so going back there isn't all that alien of a concept.
2) They are average NBA players at best. Average to fringe NBA players have occasionally signed in Europe for a while now. It is a direct by-product of the NBA teams signing and drafting so much European talent for themselves - there are only 450 spots in the NBA for about 600 deemed to be worthwhile players, and so some people are going to lose out.
Things are changing, but Bostjan Nachbar isn't a symptom. But, hey, don't let that stop you from overthinking it if you want.
- Primoz Brezec of the Toronto Raptors also signed in Europe, for Lottomatica Roma of Italy. But no one cares about that.
- In a shock NBA-to-NBA transaction, the Orlando Magic signed and traded Keyon Dooling to the Nets, in exchange for nothing significant at all. This represents the first bit of profitable Creative Financing™ of Magic GM Otis Smith's career, so maybe he's learning. As for the Nets, they now have 18 players under contract, but I'm sure that they can find it within themselves to cut Maurice Ager and Keith Van Horn. It is, however, the final nail in the coffin for my Andres Nocioni trade idea. Damn shame.
- Finally, I can bring you big news of two further European signings. Tamar Slay signed with Avellino in Italy, and Boise State's finest Matt Nelson signed with Mahatman Gandia in Spain's lower leagues. This interested me unil I realised that Boise State's finest Matt Nelson was not THE Matt Nelson. I know you feel that pain.
GregOstertagsHairline.com: the NBA website that answers the question that not a single person cared enough to ask.
I am going to make these have a stronger pertinence to actual NBA players, and not just really shit players with vague NBA associations. This is partly because of people's perceived lack of interest in these posts, but also because I'm running out of jokes about people that I barely know. If I'm honest, it's mainly this second one.
- Mario Austin has signed with Besiktas in Turkey, where he will probably be the finest player in the land bar none, while playing no defense whatsoever. Such is how he rolls.
(Wait, hang on, he's never played in the NBA. Oh well, never mind. He could do, he might still do, I like him, he's on this site, and that's what matters.)
- Houston Rockets draft pick Brad Newley has swapped difficult-to-spell Greek teams, going from Panionios to Panellinios. His brief reign as "The Most Exciting Second Round Pick To Come Out Of Australia" lasted one year before being topped by Nathan Jawai, who, unlike Newley, might actually be quite good. Well, so I'm told.
- C.J. Miles of the Utah Jazz has been signed to an offer sheet by the Oklahoma City Showertraps. The news itself is uninteresting, but it sets some first: the signing is the first in the history of the new Oklahoma City franchise (hooray!), and also the first non-minimum free agency signing that GM Sam Presti has made. The only previous ones were non-guaranteed minimum deals to Mike Wilks (there for 20 days), Eddie Gill (there for 10 days), Jermaine Jackson (there for training camp only), and Ronald Dupree (the last few games of the season). That right there represents no pedigree - no list of basketball players with Mike Wilks as the best player can ever be considered a good list. As for Miles, his offer sheet is for 4 years and $15 millionish, which is clearly way too much for a man who showed little in three years. If Presti's reasoning was to bid enough that Utah would not match, he's certainly gotten that right.
- Carlos Delfino has signed a lucractive contract with Khimky in Russia, whom you will have heard of from reading about the signing of Milt Palacio in Part 2. This article talks about the financial benefits of this move for Delfino, but importantly fails to mention the fact that Delfino would never get paid that much in the NBA because he's not a very good NBA player. And that factors. (Khimky seems to only sign ex-Raptors, with Delfino, Palacio, Jerome Moiso and potentially Jorge Garbajosa on their roster for next season. So maybe there's hope for Juan Dixon.)
- Craig Smith has agreed to re-sign with Minnesota for two years, in what appears to cynical eyes to be an unsubtle bid for unrestricted free agency at the earliest possible opportunity. It's a damn shame that Craig Smith is stuck in Minnesota. I say that not because of some blind hatred for the Timberwolves, but because it means Smith is stuck playing behind Al Jefferson, the one man you wouldn't want to play him alongside. (By the way, are Kevin Love and Al Jefferson really going to work together? Can we get an answer from that from someone named McHale? I'm not saying that they can't, but it's kind of vital, you know? And how the hell did Brian Cardinal, Jason Collins, Calvin Booth and Mark Madsen wind up on the same team? That's a spectacular conflagration of shitness.)
- D'Or Fischer has signed for Maccabi Electra in Israel. I'm not sure that even I care about that one.
- Loren Woods - waived by the Rockets last week - has signed with Zalgiris in Lithuania. I enjoyed his fleeting comeback, though. And Jelani McCoy's.
- Patrick O'Bryant has signed with the Boston Celtics, who appear to have tightened up the pursestrings. With James Posey signed elsewhere and with all their other free agents not expected back, the Celtics now have no bench. This, therefore, seems like a weird signing - with no veteran point guard, no veteran big man and no backup swingman worth a damn, they go out and get Patrick O'Bryant? (Well, OK. Everyone needs a project 7 footer, I suppose. Just as long as they actually remember the other bits too.)
- Toronto signed Roko Ukic to be their new backup point guard, but I can't help but wonder at his NBA.com profile picture.
- The Lakers did not match Golden State's offer sheet to Ronny Turiaf, and for those keeping score at home, the Warriors offseason currently reads like this.
Given that they've bid on pretty much everybody so far, it isn't going too well. When you have eight players heading for free agency, should your second signing really be a backup big man, when you only have one real guard under contract? And that price (4 years, $17 million)? Strange.
Also, the Warriors are reported as considering making a bid for Philadelphia restricted free agent Louie Williams. (Note: people with the name "Louis" but who don't pronounce the "S" should not be allowed to spell it like that. I'm indignant on this.) This, too, seems odd: aside from Nate Robinson, I can't think of a worse person to pair with Ellis. So the Warriors offseason still has ways to go.
- Finally tonight, in the only real news that matters, the Milwaukee Bucks signed Malik Allen and Tyronn Lue, reuniting Malik with former head coach and profound Malik Allen fan, Scott Skiles. Cute. But, as for the Tyronn Lue signing.....not so sure. What was the point for either party? Lue had other suits, some of whom were offering more money, more minutes, and more wins than the Bucks. So why does he choose Milwaukee? (Readers note: The correct answer is "the lure of Malik Allen.") Also, why does Milwaukee sign Tyronn Lue, when they have Maurice Williams as the incumbent starter, and Ramon Sessions as a promising backup? If they're going to use Lue solely as a third string, then they've got themselves a high quality third string point guard, so well done them. But why not sign a point guard with some good defense? (And no, I'm not advocating the re-signing of Royal Ivey. I said good defense.) Lue replicates a lot of the skill set from those in front of him, except without the passing. In that respect, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Then again, not a lot has made sense so far this offseason. And at least they didn't overpay.
Sham is a miserable and self-effacing little bastard, whose basketball opinions are often riddled with bias, insecurity, and rank immaturity. He has also never played the sport, and the only game he has ever been to see was a Ware Rebels game back in 2001. The night bus didn't show up and he had to walk the 9 miles home. It was after this that his passion for basketball really took off.
He considers himself to be Britain's foremost NBA expert, an arbitrary title that carries with it no basis in fact, or any worldly significance. He also wrote this section of the website in third person narrative, purely for reasons of arrogance.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2010. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
