Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 3

Continuing that list of stuff that you like.

- Rafael Araujo is sadly out of basketball right now. He's unsigned. He's unwanted. He's unloved. Commitment-free. Homeless. A nomadic vagabond living off the land and fashioning rudimentary hyperdermic needles using only his opposable thumbs and his chemically-enhanced upper body strength. But this is just one tale to tell. There are thousands of children like this all over BYU. Please. End poverty now. Give generously.

- Robert Archibald is currently playing for Unicaja Malaga in Spain, after turning down a contract from the Hornets this summer. He is still not bald. (I went on holiday to Malaga only recently, and didn't see Robert Archibald there. Shame. I looked hard and everything.) Archibald averages 7.1 point and 4.0 rebounds on a pretty stacked, for those who still care. By the way, while looking this up, I found out about Neil Fingleton, a former UNC and Holy Cross player and one time McDonald's All American. After a brief playing career career in Europe, the ABA and the D-League, Fingleton has since given up playing basketball due to injuries, and is now an aspiring actor. He was also recently awarded the seminal title of UK's Tallest Man, which is good news I suppose. But it begs the question; the previous holder of that record - a man named Christopher Greener - had been dining out on that fame for 40 years. What the hell is he going to do now? Who the hell remembers who comes second? Where's the TV work going to come from? He'll be jobless, he'll be penniless, he'll be a waste of height. He'll be unsigned. He'll be unwanted. He'll be unloved. Commitment-free. Homeless. A nomadic vagabond living off the land. Et cetera.

- Koko Archibong is not a nomadic vagabond living off the land, as he has procured a plum position with the pre-eminent Polish powerhouse, Prokom. (Sorry, I'm really immature today. I tend to binge.) Archibong averages 6.6 points per game, good enough (if that's the right phrasing) for eighth on the team. To find out about some of his team mates, keep reading these posts until we get to the Bu-'s.

- Darrell Armstrong is unsigned, but recently attended the Suns' point guard mini-camp, where he and many other hopefuls vied for Phoenix's compulsory 13th man role. He lost.

- Brandon Armstrong is playing for Budivelnik in the Ukraine. No, me neither. Armstrong hasn't played since November - which may or may not be injury related, I don't know - and averaged only 14.2 minutes and 6.5 points per game when he did.

- Carlos Arroyo signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv this summer, as a part of the mass European migration that wasn't. Arroyo averages 13.7 points, 3.3 rebounds and 4.4 assists, and rumours (perhaps unsubstantiated) abound about a return to the Magic.

- The Bulls gave up two second round picks to move up a mere three spots in this year's second round, which is an extremely committed and kind of bizarre thing to do. They did this it get their hands on the rights to Omer Asik, whom clearly they rate extremely highly. Asik then instantly repaid the Bulls' faith in him by tearing his knee ligament, and he hasn't played all season as a result. Nonetheless, Asik has spent some time in the Bulls' practices this season, clearly eager to get an early taste of their poisonous chemistry and inability to utilise young big men.

- Stacey Augmon jacked it all in (not off) and is now a Denver Nuggets assistant coach.

- James Augustine averages 8.2 points, 5.0 rebounds, 1.2 steals and 1.1 blocks per game for Gran Canaria in Spain. By the way, way back in the boom boom selection days, I asked for information and/or your theories as to how Augustine managed to be re-signed and waived by the Magic in the same July, in an act so weird that I can't think of a single other time that it's happened. I've since gotten that info, and it's no less weird - Orlando tendered Augustine a qualifying offer of $972,581 in an act of fairly standard practice, and Augustine unusually accepted it almost immediately. Of note, though, is the rule with qualifying offers which states that they have to have a level of guarantee that is, at a minimum, identical to the previous season's salary. Augustine's 2007/08 salary called for a minimum salary of $687,456, but with only 25% guaranteed if he was waived on or before the 30th of July 2007. Therefore, the qualifying offer had to have a similar level of guarantee, and so the qualifying offer that Augustine accepted was 25% guaranteed until July 30th 2008. So those three weeks that Augutine spent with the Magic this season, in which he didn't play a single game, cost the tax-tight Magic a significant $243,145, and would have been more if they haven't waived him when they did. A congratulations, therefore, go to Augustine's vigilant agent, who got his client a decent paycheck without him having to actually do anything and still having the opportunity to land a pretty plush European gig as well. Similarly, condolences go to Orlando General Manager, Otis Smith, who in hindsight should never have offered the qualifying offer in the first place. Creative financing at its finest once again.

- The Bulls other unsigned draft pick, Mario Austin, started the season with Besiktas in Turkey, but left without playing a game for reasons that I'm not aware of.

- Finally, and somewhat boringly, Larry Ayuso is still chasing the NBA dream, this time in the D-League with the Iowa Energy. He's doing this by averaging 13.0 points on 40% shooting, shooting more three pointers than two pointers, and with more turnovers than assists. He would appear to be trying to showcase himself as a jumpshooting specialist. It isn't working. But he did get this ESPN article about himself last month, so the D-League might have been the right place for him to go.

Summer signings, round 13

- After signing Brian Skinner and waiving Josh Powell, as described in the previous blog post, the Clippers finally did the other obvious thing and withdrew the qualifying offer to Nick Fazekas. This moves leaves them with roughly $1.4 million in remaining cap space. However, if they hadn't made the moves to sign draftees Eric Gordon, DeAndre Jordan and Mike Taylor unnecessarily early, as well as the even more unnecessary Jason Hart trade, then that number would be more like $2.5 million. I'm going to keep bloody going on about this until someone patronisingly rubs me on the head and tells me that it's OK.

- Adonal Foyle re-signed with the Orlando Magic, who still don't have a good backup big man. I'm all about Marcin Gortat, though. I like him. Also, free agent Magic guard Carlos Arroyo signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv in Israel, a move insignificant of itself, but which serves to make this year's already weal free agency point guard crop even weaker. Someone needs to either gamble on Shaun Livingston, or get Kevin Ollie back in this league. Anything to keep Smush Parker out. (NB: Earl Boykins was rumoured to be going to Maccabi, but that was before the Arroyo signing was announced, so I doubt that's still on. However, for all his failings, Boykins is maybe now the best free agent left on the market. That's how bad the market is.)

- While we're on the subject of crappy journeyman point guards, Anthony Goldwire is still going, signing for Egaleo in Greece. Goldwire's kicking 40's door down, in the words of the lyrically superior Eminem, but he's still getting basketball jobs. So he's either broke, or he deeply loves the game. I truly hope it's the latter.

- The Lakers signed a short D-League scoring guard, Dwayne Mitchell. Seems like a weird place to start when they have other depth concerns, but oh well. I watched qutie a bit of the Lakers summer league, and Mitchell didn't play much behind such luminaries as Joe Crawford, Coby Karl, Brian Roberts and Cedric Bozeman. I don't know what to make of that.

- Julius Hodge says he wants to make an NBA comeback. Hmmmm. For those unaware, Hodge played for the New Jersey Nets summer league team. For those also unaware, the New Jersey Nets basketball operations person thingy is Kiki Vanderweghe. For those yet further unaware, Kiki Vanderweghe is the man who drafted Hodge way too frigging high back when Vanderwghe was the basketball operations person thingy with the Denver Nuggets. Yet even while crossing the country to follow the one guy to date who thought him worthy of an NBA contract, Hodge couldn't get himself another one. That doesn't bode well.

- Kevinn Pinkney and Shan Foster have agreed to sign with Juve Caserta in Italy. Therefore, Shan Foster must continue to wait to PLAAAAY IN THE NBAAAAAAAA". (I laughed at myself. Judge me if you must.)

- Another Dallas secound round draft pick, Renaldas Seibutis, has signed with Bilbao in Spain. Do you know how hard it is to think up good Renaldas Seibutis jokes? Let me tell you. It's very hard indeed. So I won't bother.

- Ndudi Ebi has signed with Carife Ferrara in Italy, alongside Harold Jamison. There just aren't enough Harold Jamison updates in the world today. Do you know what you get if you Google News-search "Harold Jamison"? Nothing. Well, nothing in English, anyway. Fucking shame.

- Steven Smith has signed with Kolossos Rhodes in Greece, perhaps the finest non-Phillipino team name I've ever seen. Such imperialism! Such history! Such distinction! Such pressure! Good luck Steven.

- Uros Slokar has signed for Fortitudo Bologna. By the way, if you like professional basketball players with accessibility, you'll LOVE Uros Slokar's website. Feel free to email him. Tell him I sent you. Offer him the job as this site's main web developer. Don't tell him that it's unpaid.

With apologies to Dwight Howard

In my season preview of the Orlando Magic, written back in October and located here, I wrote something that looks a bit stupid in hindsight. At this point, I'd quite like to try and weasel my way out most of it.

The following are some quotes that I stand by:

It would be very difficult if not impossible to provide a commentary on the Rashard Lewis sign-and-trade while also managing to take an interesting or unique viewpoint, or to say anything that hasn't already been said. So I won't. But I will recommend that you look at the figure that he signed for (listed above), and think long and hard about whether he is worth it. And if you come up with any answer other than "no", keep looking at it until you do. In 2013, a 33 year old Rashard Lewis is going to be being paid nearly $22.7 million. It's freakin' bizarre. Or freakin' stupid, pick your own adjective. Both work.

---

So now, ask yourselves whether the trio of Hill, Milicic and Diener (who should, without a doubt, have played over Carlos Arroyo all of last season, and who is now nicely lined up for a breakout season) is going to help any more than Rashard Lewis on his own. It's a tough answer, but either way, the Magic's player personel did not improve much. If at all.

---

Last season's mediocre performance suggests that the good run to end the 2005/06 season was nothing more than an aberration. With better coaching and better performance this season, the Magic have the opportunity to show that it was last season that was the anomaly instead. If Orlando gets breakout performances from one or perhaps a couple of young players (specifically looking in the directions of Jameer Nelson and J.J. Redick), they could contend for the open Southeast Division title.

If you only read those three passages, then I wrote a damn fine piece. However, I ended it like this:

Perhaps a more realistic expectation, though, would be for a low playoff seed once again.

Um, well, that's proven to be wrong so far.

Currently, the Magic reside atop the Southeast Division, with a record of 22-13. Their nearest rivals in the division are the Washington Wizards at 16-15, who apparently just lost Gilbert Arenas for the rest of the season. And in third place are the Atlanta Hawks, who are trying to justify my playoff call with a 15-16 record and a damn tough schedule thus far.

The Magic are the third seed in the East thus far, which is no mean feat given how the top two teams (Boston and Detroit) are by far and away superior to the rest of the conference. Now obviously they're inevitably going to lose this third to the mighty and surging Chicago Bulls (you heard it here first), but even so, they should still come fourth in the East. And that's not a "low playoff seed".

So somewhere along the line, barring dramatic unpredictable implosion, I've made a boo-boo.

I stand by my views on the Rashard Lewis deal, as he quite frankly hasn't been even nearly worth it thus far. I also can't be expected to have predicted the Keith Bogans Jumpshot Spectacular that's bizarrely given unto us by the Lord this season, although I won't be entirely surprised if he regresses to somewhere near his career norm any day now. The point guard play still isn't very good, although I did overlook the fact that Carlos Arroyo's contract is expiring, which always leads to him giving forth a more concerted effort. And I strongly admire Orlando General Manager Otis Smith's efforts to sabotage his team's good play with another poor trade, needlessly shipping Trevor Ariza to the Lakers for Maurice Evans and Brian Cook, two players who offer nothing that Orlando couldn't have gotten from within. The chances are that Smith has at least one more of those left in the gun yet, too.

But mainly, the prediction is my own fault, and it's rather to simple to see why.

I forgot to account for the fact that Dwight Howard is, quite simply, the shit.

Whoops. Sorry, Dwight.